Talk:Squid

Could be worse:

A man walks into a posh fish restaurant, (The kind where you pick your fish from a tank at the front.) He looked at the tank and there hiding at the back was a small lime-green squid. He didn’t think much about it till he noticed a moustache on the squid. So he called over the waiter and said “I want that squid.” So the waiter took the squid out to Jervaise the chef. Jervaise looked at the squid and was about to cut its head off when the squid started quivering. When Jervaise saw its little lip shaking he realised he could not kill the squid.

So he called over Hans the German dishwasher. “Hans” he said “kill this squid.” So the 7ft German grabs the little squid in his scarred hands and put it on the chopping board. He raised the giant clever up above his head as the little squid shook and started to cry. But when Hans saw the little squid crying he himself broke down and sobbed saying he could not kill it.

And the moral of the story:

Now Hans that does dishes is as soft as Jervaise with lime-green hairy-lipped squid.

For any non-English readers, Fairy is a brand of washing-up liquid produced by Procter & Gamble at their Dartford factory, England. Fairy liquid is traditionally green, prompting the well-known advertising jingle "Now hands that do dishes can feel soft as your face, with mild green Fairy Liquid".