Discworld & Terry Pratchett Wiki - User contributions [en]

Book:Moving Pictures/Annotations

2013-05-17T09:18:05Z

Sdornhoff:

== Annotations ==

'''Since this is a book about motion pictures, all Wikipedia links below are to the film or TV version of a given work of art (where possible), even if another version (book, song, etc) came first or is more popular.'''

* "This is space. It's sometimes called the final frontier." - reference to the opening lines of {{wp|Star_Trek:_The_Original_Series|Star Trek}}

* "But you're made a meat, an' what do you eat?" - possibly a reference to {{wp|They're Made Out of Meat|They're Made Out of Meat}}, a Nebula Award winning short story

* "the dreaded Balgrog" - reference to Tolkien's {{wp|balrog|balrog}}

* "Must be off 'is nut [...], [s]inging in the rain like that." - reference to the film {{wp|Singin'_in_the_Rain_(film)|Singin' In the Rain}}

* "the Chroncal of the Keeprs of the ParaMountain" - reference to {{wp|Paramount_Motion_Pictures_Group|Paramount}}

* "and make it a palace" - reference to the {{wp|movie_palace|movie palaces}} of the 1910s to 1960s

* "'What's up, Duck?' said the rabbit" - reference to {{wp|Bugs Bunny|Bugs Bunny}}'s famous phrase "what's up, doc?" (though Bugs has also said "what's up, duck" in a few cartoons)

* '"Mighty Paws" or - or "Speedy Hunter"' - possible references to {{wp|Mighty Mouse|Mighty Mouse}} and {{wp|Speedy Gonzales|Speedy Gonzales}}, even though Victor applies them to the cat, not the mouse.

* The mouse hitting the cat with a frying pan is reminiscent of {{wp|Tom and Jerry|Tom and Jerry}}, though there are probably many other similar cartoons (and Tom and Jerry rarely spoke). The cat's lisp is reminiscent of {{wp|Sylvester the Cat|Sylvester the Cat}}

* "The duck quacked. There were words in there somewhere, but so mangled by the incompatibility of beak and larynx that Victor couldn't understand a word." - possible reference to {{wp|Donald Duck|Donald Duck}}, who also speaks with a difficult-to-understand duck-like accent

* "'Thief of ...' Rock hesitated. 'Dad's Bag, I think you said.' 'Bagged Dad,' said Morry, rubbing his arm." - reference to {{wp|The_Thief_of_Bagdad_%281924_film%29|The Thief of Bagdad}}

* "Fly with me now to the Casbah" - reference to {{wp|Casablanca_(film)|Casablanca}}, or possibly the lesser known {{wp|Algiers_%28film%29|Algiers}}, which inspired it, as well as {{wp|Pépé_le_Moko|Pépé le Moko}}, which inspired Algiers, and frequently suggested to a blushing kitty by {{wp|Chuck_Jones|Chuck Jones's}} romantic skunk {{wp|Pepé_Le_Pew|Pepé Le Pew}}.

* "a thousand elephants" - reference to {{wp|Hannibal|Hannibal}} leading elephants over mountains in the {{wp|Second Punic War|Second Punic War}}. Several movies have been made about this, but reference here is probably [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0003740/ Cabiria], given how early it is (and that it's a silent film)

* "we're doing one about going to see a wizard. Something about following a yellow sick toad" - reference to {{wp|The_Wizard_of_Oz_%281939_film%29|The Wizard of Oz}}, where the characters (including a cowardly lion) follow a yellow brick road. A possible reference (as in {{M}}) to the [http://www.jokes.net/dirtytoad.htm yellow sick toad joke]

* "Colour was just a matter of breeding demons who could paint fast enough. It was sound that meant something new." - On Roundworld, most people (perhaps even TP) believe that sound preceded color. Actually, {{wp|Cupid Angling|Cupid Angling}}, released in 1918, was the first feature length color film, while {{wp|The_Jazz_Singer_(1927_film)|The Jazz Singer}}, released in 1927, was the first feature length film with synchronized sound. [http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/87223 Some sources] note that short color movies have been around since the 1890's. Most people incorrectly believe that {{wp|The_Wizard_of_Oz_%281939_film%29|The Wizard of Oz}} and {{wp|Gone_with_the_Wind_%28film%29|Gone With the Wind}}, both released in 1939, were the first color movies. Short sound films have existed since the {{wp|Dickson_Experimental_Sound_Film|Dickson Experimental Sound Film}} of 1894 or 1895.

* '"I want to be a lawn"' - reference to {{wp|Greta Garbo|Greta Garbo}}'s famous by-line "I want to be alone" in her strong accent

* '"It's fifteen hundred miles to Ankh-Morpork," he said. "we've got three hundred and sixty-three elephants, fifty carts of forage, the monsoon's about to break and we're wearing ... we're wearing ... sort of things, like glass, only dark ... dark glass things on our eyes ..." "let's go."' - a reference to the line in the {{wp|Blues Brothers|Blues Brothers}} , "It's one hundred and six miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses." "Hit it."

* "And the People said to one another, Funny, he lookes just like my uncle Osbert..." A reference to the origin of Oscar, the nickname of the Academy Award. According to Wikipedia one early story says that the Academy's Executive Secretary, Margaret Herrick, first saw the award in 1931 and said the statuette reminded her of her "Uncle Oscar."

* "a wounded Royalist soldier's last words are "What I wouldn't give right now for a $1 EatTillItHurts special at ... Harga's ... House ... of ... Ribs ... Mother!" - reference to {{wp|product placement|product placement}} - Pratchett himself has said in interviews that he yanked the translation rights from a German publisher when he discovered exactly this sort of gross example being shoved in the middle of his dialogue. Offhand I don't know if this happened before or after this book, but in the interview he makes reference to a soup company.

* "Ready when you are, Mr. Dibbler!" There's a story about epic film director [http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001124/bio Cecil B. DeMille]: he was doing a one-chance-to-film-it battle scene, similar to the Burning of Ankh-Morpork. He had several cameras stationed around the area, but just to be on the safe side, sent old Charlie up to the top of a nearby hill with a camera, to get an overall view. "Action!" was called, and sure enough, as the battle progressed, one camera broke down, another was crushed by over-enthusiastic actors, a third ran out of film, etc. But DeMille wasn't worried, because he knew old Charlie was getting everything from the top of the hill. When the battle was over, he jumped in a car and drove up to the top of the hill to retrieve Charlie's camera. When he got there, old Charlie got up out of his chair, threw away the cigar he was smoking and said "Ready when you are, C.B.!"

* "One of the apprentices had stuck in just one picture from The Golde Rush and we all went around all morning thinking about gold and not knowing why. It was as if it'd gone straight into our heads without our eyes seeing it." - reference to {{wp|Subliminal_advertising|subliminal advertising}}

* "I'm too old for this sort of stuff." Reference to a catch phrase of Roger Murtaugh, Danny Glover's character in the Lethal Weapon series, "I'm too old for this shit!"

* "It'd be funnier than A Night at the Arena." -- reference to the Marx Brothers' "A Night at the Opera."

* "me and old "Numbers" Riktor and "Tudgy" Spold climbed up on the Temple of Small Gods" - in other words, Riktor "scaled" a building, a pun on the {{wp|Richter Scale|Richter Scale}}

* "This Thing is bigger than both of us!" - parodies Rick Blaine's line to Ilsa in another reference to Casablanca

* "[this] was undoubtedly the 57th strangest." - one of the frequent [[57]] references in TP's work

* "The most graphic way of describing the Librarian's swing across the buildings of Unseen University is to simply transcribe the noises made during the flight. First: 'AaaAAAaaaAAAaaa.' This is selfexplanatory, and refers to the early part of the swing, when everything looked as if it was going well... Then: 'Aaarghhhh.' [...] a very quiet 'oook'" - reference to {{wp|George of the Jungle|George of the Jungle}}'s opening montage, and of course the famous {{wp|Tarzan_yell|Tarzan yell}} from the {{wp|Johnny_Weissmuller|Johnny Weissmuller}} films starting in 1932.

* "I don't know how you go about blowing up a fifty foot woman" - reference to {{wp|Attack_of_the_fifty_foot_woman|Attack of the 50 Foot Woman}}

* "'A giant woman carrying a screaming ape up a tall building'" - parody of the ending of {{wp|King_Kong_%281933_film%29|King Kong}}, where the exact opposite happens. The Dean's later comment "'Twas beauty killed the beast'" is a direct quote from King Kong.

* "YOU BELONG DEAD" - parodies the last lines of {{wp|Bride_of_Frankenstein|Bride of Frankenstein}}, "You stay. We belong dead."

* "That is not dead which can eternal lie" - quote from H. P. Lovecraft's fictional {{wp|Necronomicon#Appearance_and_contents|Necronomicon}}, which continues, "And with strange aeons even death may die." It is thus a reference to the {{wp|Necronomicon_%28film%29|film with the same name}}

* "A fine mess you got me into" - references {{wp|Laurel_and_Hardy|Laurel and Hardy}}'s famous catch phrase "Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into!" and later movie {{wp|Another_Fine_Mess_%281930_film%29|Another Fine Mess}}

* "'Dere may being trouble ahead' [...] 'But while dere moonlight, an' music'" - references the Irving Berlin song {{wp|Let%27s_Face_the_Music_and_Dance|Let's Face the Music and Dance}}

* "'s silvery [...] And it's heavier than lead" - Silverfish has discovered {{wp|uranium|uranium}}

* "[6] SUB-TITLE: 'Vunce again I am fallink in luf [...] Vy iss it I now am a blue colour? [...] Vot is the action I should take at this time?'" - references the song {{wp|Falling_in_Love_Again_%28Can%27t_Help_It%29|Falling in Love Again (Can't Help It)}} (Wikipedia version does not include the "so blue" lyrics)

* "[18] It was about a young ape who is abandoned in the big city and grows up being able to speak the language of humans" - parody of {{wp|Tarzan_of_the_Apes_%28film%29|Tarzan of the Apes}}, where the exact opposite happens.

* When the last of the [[Book:Moving Pictures|Moving Pictures]] magic ebbs out of the world, just for a few moments [[Detritus]] and [[Ruby]] are transformed into Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire in a song-and-dance routine. Heralding the big dance number in [[Harga's House of Ribs]], Detritus briefly channels Humphrey Bogart, saying ''Play it again, Sham!'' - referencing "Play it again, Sam," the often misquoted line from ''Casablanca''. The actual line, spoken by {{wp|Ingrid_Bergman|Ingrid Bergman}}, not {{wp|Humphrey_Bogart|Humphrey Bogart}}, was ""Play it, Sam, for old times' sake, play 'As Time Goes By'." The closest Bogart got to the line was, "You played it for her, you can play it for me. ... If she can stand to listen to it, I can. Play it."

* Roundworld Film ''The Last Movie Show'', about the closure of the last cinema in a small mid-Western town, is referenced virtually on the last page of [[Book:Moving Pictures|Moving Pictures]], where a broken picture throwing box spills its film in the sighing wind, with tiny figures dancing, just for a moment, in its dead glass eye...

* The alchemists' reasoning for why they should move their click-making operations to Holy Wood was that the sunlight would be better there, and the UU wizards wouldn't be able to come accuse them of demarcation. In Roundworld, early filmmakers moved to Hollywood because the sunlight was better there, and it was far enough from Thomas Edison's sphere of influence that by the time he found out what they were up to, and sued them for patent infringement, they'd already have made enough money to flee across the nearby Mexican border with the proceeds.
== [[Roundworld]] References ==

Direct references to Roundworld:

* {{wp|Royal Shakespeare Company|Royal Shakespeare Company}}

* {{wp|Oscar Wilde|Oscar Wilde}}

[[Category:Annotations]]

Talk:Lu-Tze

2013-05-12T19:35:54Z

Sdornhoff:

This is the 100th real article according to [[special:statistics]]. :) [[User:Jeltz|Jeltz]] 22:33, 13 Sep 2005 (CEST)
:Yeah! --[[User:Jogibaer|Jogibaer]] 22:31, 14 Sep 2005 (CEST)
----
About his age, in Thief of Time it is said twice that Lu-Tze is 800 years old (p. 132 of US paperback, when the Abbot is sending the young operatives to Uberwald and Lu-Tze asks permission to take Lobsang to Ankh-Morpork) (p. 51 US paperback, after presentation of sweeper's robe and broom to Time/Lobsang, when Lobsang asks what small gift he can give Lu-Tze). Is there any change about his age in the books after that?
:The 6000 years are taken from the Discworld Companion (2nd edition). I just checked with the 3rd edition where it states:
'Although he is generally acknowldeged to be 800 years old, there are some who claim he is 6000 years old, <br /> because for History Monks time is a resource to manipulate rather than an amber in which they are imprisoned.'
:So there seems to be an inconsistency somewhere. However, I don't know in which book it occurs. --[[User:Jogibaer|Jogibaer]] 11:21, 1 November 2005 (CET)

== Lu-Tze's Rank ==

Lu-Tze is not a history monk. He works in Oi Dong monastery, and he has all the abilities of a history monk, with the addition of being able to use the deadly art of Deja-Fu, but he was never initiated as a monk. He is a sweeper. His job is to sweep the floors of Oi Dong. The fact he knows so much about time manipulation is just a result of his sweeping the right rooms at the right time (during classes, for example).

That said, he still goes on History Monk errands, such as making sure history happens, but he is still only a sweeper.

The interesting (possible contradiction) here is that when the character of Lu-Tze first appears in {{SG}}, (ref '''''Corgi Paperback p.8'''''), he is introduced thus:-

''The 493rd Abbot... addressed Lu-Tze, one of his most senior monks.''

He is still a History Monk on pp 376-377, at the end of {{SG}}.

Here, Lu-Tze is a fully-fledged and acknowledged History Monk who while in the field adopts the guise of a humble sweeper. It is only in the later books, {{TOT}}, {{NW}}, that the reverse is emphasised: here, the story is the Lu-Tze never graduated as a monk nor was selected as one at all. What he has learnt has come from years of sweeping up, inobtrusively, in classrooms where the monks are trained.

Perhaps even though he is a sweeper he is treated by the abbot as a monk. He certainly is a sweeper but many of the monks who know him respect him as if he was a high ranking monk. --Confusion 03:31, 22 October 2011 (CEST)

==She's '''how''' old?==

Re:"As a young man...": is it really mentioned somewhere that Mrs. Cosmopolite is also 800 years old? ..[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 8:15 EST 20 Aug 2006

:In the book The Way is described as something Lu-Tze has for a long time. I'd have to search the book for the exact story of him going to Mrs Cosmopilite though, but I think this could be an inconsistency. Mrs. C is definitely not 800 years old, she sounds like a middle-aged woman who is as common as muck. Not some secret ancient history nun of centuries old ;) --[[User:Sanity|Sanity]] 00:02, 21 August 2006 (CEST)

:Found it: "The first words read by the young Lu-Tze when he sought perplexity in the dark, teeming, rain-soaked city of Ankh-Morpork were: 'Rooms For Rent, Very Reasonable'. And he was glad of it." - Corgi paperback of ToT, page 40 at the top. --[[User:Sanity|Sanity]] 00:55, 21 August 2006 (CEST)

Moving around in time is what the Sweeper does, of course. He could just as easily show up as his
younger self. ..[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 10:25 EST 21 Aug 2006

:He's not a wizard. He looks as he looks. He can only show up as a young Lu-Tze if he's really young, which suggests he is hardly trained (ToT suggests he did start training as a monk but never finished, moving on to becoming a sweeper). So he's definitely young, which shouldn't be possible. Unless Mrs. Cosmopilite lived hundreds of years ago, which she didn't because she is referenced in MP as well.

:Actually, if Lu-Tze can move around in time, then why didn't he go back in time to stop the clock? --[[User:Sanity|Sanity]] 17:08, 21 August 2006 (CEST)

Dunno, he went back to get Sam...[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 13:20 EST 21 Aug 2006

: [http://groups.google.com/groups/search?q=age+cosmopilite+group:alt.*.pratchett Google Groups discussions] on this matter. It wasn't resolved then, too. --[[User:Sanity|Sanity]] 17:30, 21 August 2006 (CEST)

:: History Monks cannot change the past. It's a law. Or something. He went back to get Sam so he could correct the fluxes in the space-time continuememememem. There might be a line of Mrs. Cosmopilites- it's a surname, it must have started somewhere- and the 'Way of Mrs. Cosmopilite' Mrs. Cosmopilite is different from the 'Moving Pictures' Mrs. Cosmopilite. To paraphrase a line from {{M!!!}}: ''Who says there's only one Mrs. Cosmopilite''?-- Stanley Howler 20:56, 9 May 2012 (CEST)

Even if there was another Mrs. Cosmopilite 800 years ago, there wouldn't have been a Merchant's Guild to publish the booklet that drew young Lu-Tze to Ankh-Morpork in the first place. More likely, the young Lu-Tze was actually born ''very recently'', came to the city at some date after ''The Colour Of Magic'', and began learning from Mrs. Cosmopilite at the same time as the earlier novels are taking place. He was then recruited by the History Monks, who performed the Closing of the Flower ritual, effectively erasing all record or memory of his youthful presence in the city. Realizing none of their current batch of trainers could properly shape his talents, the Abbot had him sent back 800 years to work with masters of an earlier era; since then, Lu-Tze has lived through the intervening eight centuries, and caught up with his original year of birth. - Sharlee 12 May 2013

== Another Lu-Tze sighting ==

Lu-Tze has a brief cameo in Going Postal, when Moist visits the temple of Offler in the wee hours. The nave (quoting from memory) was deserted except for Moist, the junior priest on duty, and a little old man vigorously sweeping the floor. Surely this is Lu-Tze again? --[[User:Eitheladar|Eitheladar]] 05:50, 24 August 2008 (UTC)

:See {{GP-APF}}, p.263. On the other hand, sextons are sweeping out churches all the time...--[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 15:49, 24 August 2008 (UTC)

Talk:Lu-Tze

2013-05-12T19:34:46Z

Sdornhoff:

This is the 100th real article according to [[special:statistics]]. :) [[User:Jeltz|Jeltz]] 22:33, 13 Sep 2005 (CEST)
:Yeah! --[[User:Jogibaer|Jogibaer]] 22:31, 14 Sep 2005 (CEST)
----
About his age, in Thief of Time it is said twice that Lu-Tze is 800 years old (p. 132 of US paperback, when the Abbot is sending the young operatives to Uberwald and Lu-Tze asks permission to take Lobsang to Ankh-Morpork) (p. 51 US paperback, after presentation of sweeper's robe and broom to Time/Lobsang, when Lobsang asks what small gift he can give Lu-Tze). Is there any change about his age in the books after that?
:The 6000 years are taken from the Discworld Companion (2nd edition). I just checked with the 3rd edition where it states:
'Although he is generally acknowldeged to be 800 years old, there are some who claim he is 6000 years old, <br /> because for History Monks time is a resource to manipulate rather than an amber in which they are imprisoned.'
:So there seems to be an inconsistency somewhere. However, I don't know in which book it occurs. --[[User:Jogibaer|Jogibaer]] 11:21, 1 November 2005 (CET)

== Lu-Tze's Rank ==

Lu-Tze is not a history monk. He works in Oi Dong monastery, and he has all the abilities of a history monk, with the addition of being able to use the deadly art of Deja-Fu, but he was never initiated as a monk. He is a sweeper. His job is to sweep the floors of Oi Dong. The fact he knows so much about time manipulation is just a result of his sweeping the right rooms at the right time (during classes, for example).

That said, he still goes on History Monk errands, such as making sure history happens, but he is still only a sweeper.

The interesting (possible contradiction) here is that when the character of Lu-Tze first appears in {{SG}}, (ref '''''Corgi Paperback p.8'''''), he is introduced thus:-

''The 493rd Abbot... addressed Lu-Tze, one of his most senior monks.''

He is still a History Monk on pp 376-377, at the end of {{SG}}.

Here, Lu-Tze is a fully-fledged and acknowledged History Monk who while in the field adopts the guise of a humble sweeper. It is only in the later books, {{TOT}}, {{NW}}, that the reverse is emphasised: here, the story is the Lu-Tze never graduated as a monk nor was selected as one at all. What he has learnt has come from years of sweeping up, inobtrusively, in classrooms where the monks are trained.

Perhaps even though he is a sweeper he is treated by the abbot as a monk. He certainly is a sweeper but many of the monks who know him respect him as if he was a high ranking monk. --Confusion 03:31, 22 October 2011 (CEST)

==She's '''how''' old?==

Re:"As a young man...": is it really mentioned somewhere that Mrs. Cosmopolite is also 800 years old? ..[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 8:15 EST 20 Aug 2006

:In the book The Way is described as something Lu-Tze has for a long time. I'd have to search the book for the exact story of him going to Mrs Cosmopilite though, but I think this could be an inconsistency. Mrs. C is definitely not 800 years old, she sounds like a middle-aged woman who is as common as muck. Not some secret ancient history nun of centuries old ;) --[[User:Sanity|Sanity]] 00:02, 21 August 2006 (CEST)

:Found it: "The first words read by the young Lu-Tze when he sought perplexity in the dark, teeming, rain-soaked city of Ankh-Morpork were: 'Rooms For Rent, Very Reasonable'. And he was glad of it." - Corgi paperback of ToT, page 40 at the top. --[[User:Sanity|Sanity]] 00:55, 21 August 2006 (CEST)

Moving around in time is what the Sweeper does, of course. He could just as easily show up as his
younger self. ..[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 10:25 EST 21 Aug 2006

:He's not a wizard. He looks as he looks. He can only show up as a young Lu-Tze if he's really young, which suggests he is hardly trained (ToT suggests he did start training as a monk but never finished, moving on to becoming a sweeper). So he's definitely young, which shouldn't be possible. Unless Mrs. Cosmopilite lived hundreds of years ago, which she didn't because she is referenced in MP as well.

:Actually, if Lu-Tze can move around in time, then why didn't he go back in time to stop the clock? --[[User:Sanity|Sanity]] 17:08, 21 August 2006 (CEST)

Dunno, he went back to get Sam...[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 13:20 EST 21 Aug 2006

: [http://groups.google.com/groups/search?q=age+cosmopilite+group:alt.*.pratchett Google Groups discussions] on this matter. It wasn't resolved then, too. --[[User:Sanity|Sanity]] 17:30, 21 August 2006 (CEST)

:: History Monks cannot change the past. It's a law. Or something. He went back to get Sam so he could correct the fluxes in the space-time continuememememem. There might be a line of Mrs. Cosmopilites- it's a surname, it must have started somewhere- and the 'Way of Mrs. Cosmopilite' Mrs. Cosmopilite is different from the 'Moving Pictures' Mrs. Cosmopilite. To paraphrase a line from {{M!!!}}: ''Who says there's only one Mrs. Cosmopilite''?-- Stanley Howler 20:56, 9 May 2012 (CEST)

: Even if there was another Mrs. Cosmopilite 800 years ago, there wouldn't have been a Merchant's Guild to publish the booklet that drew young Lu-Tze to Ankh-Morpork in the first place. More likely, the young Lu-Tze was actually born ''very recently'', came to the city at some date after ''The Colour Of Magic'', and began learning from Mrs. Cosmopilite at the same time as the earlier novels are taking place. He was then recruited by the History Monks, who performed the Closing of the Flower ritual, effectively erasing all record or memory of his youthful presence in the city. Realizing none of their current batch of trainers could properly shape his talents, the Abbot had him sent back 800 years to work with masters of an earlier era; since then, Lu-Tze has lived through the intervening eight centuries, and caught up with his original year of birth.

== Another Lu-Tze sighting ==

Lu-Tze has a brief cameo in Going Postal, when Moist visits the temple of Offler in the wee hours. The nave (quoting from memory) was deserted except for Moist, the junior priest on duty, and a little old man vigorously sweeping the floor. Surely this is Lu-Tze again? --[[User:Eitheladar|Eitheladar]] 05:50, 24 August 2008 (UTC)

:See {{GP-APF}}, p.263. On the other hand, sextons are sweeping out churches all the time...--[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] 15:49, 24 August 2008 (UTC)

Gargoyles

2013-05-12T19:17:23Z

Sdornhoff:

Consider them moving masonry with a personality. To some, gargoyles are considered "urban trolls", because they are stone-based. Gargoyles may be very distantly related to trolls, if they are related at all. Trolls are large humanoid rocks with valuable minerals for blood vessels and neural networks. Gargoyles live well in [[Ankh-Morpork]] which is steamy and baking in summer, so their nervous system is very likely different from that of trolls (for an explanation, see [[trolls]]). Gargoyles have various, slightly monstrous shapes (just like the gargoyles you might see on really old-styled buildings), many with wings and claws, and all with a mouth that is shaped like a pipe that cannot be closed. Due to this pipe-shaped mouth, gargoyles have difficulties pronouncing consonants, and it takes some mental translation to understand their speech (see {{MAA}}). Gargoyles are extremely good at sitting still for a long time and watching the goings-on, therefore excellent job candidates for stakeout Watchman or semaphore watcher (watching the signals on another semaphore tower and relaying it).

They originally took minerals from the water that they had access to as a living gutter feature- the water would enter via the ear, and then, in the complex U-shaped alimentary tract that exists (presumably) within their skull, the necessary nutrients would be extracted from the said subsatnce, and the pure water would be excreted out of their mouth. In urban [[Ankh-Morpork]], however, they soon found that pigeons were easier (and more chemically substantial) to eat than sewer water, and so they evolved to eat these. Their ears eventually became useless, and the only remains of the U-shaped tract is an abnormality in their digestive system, much like the human appendix. It has also been hinted that the newest generation of gargoyles have mastered the valuable talent of closing their mouths, allowing proper communications with humans (see {{TWOP}})

They are not comfortable coming indoors, and will rarely descend lower than the first floor of a building. One of the few times any were ever seen on the ground was when the gargoyles fled the [[Unseen University]] when they sensed the coming of the [[Coin|Sourcerer]].

The rise of the clacks industry has opened numerous employment opportunities for gargoyles, for whom sitting still and watching a single spot for hours on end is normal behavior which they're pleased to be paid for. Gargoyles are also employed at the [[Royal Art Museum]] where their job is analagous to that of closed-circuit cameras, watching every entrance in and out of the building for signs of suspicious activity - ie, [[Thieves' Guild]] members with painting-shaped bulges in their coats.

The [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]] has the gargoyle constables [[Downspout]] ({{FOC}}) and [[Pediment]] ({{J}}); the modern Watch is an organization with much camaraderie, but the gargoyle constables fit in less well because gargoyles like to sit on the top and edge of buildings, and get uneasy when they have to be indoors or go nearer ground level. A gargoyle's natural way of life is to sit on roofs and sieve rainwater through their ears and mouth to strain for gnats. Gargoyles' preferred food is pigeon; the Watch gargoyles are paid in pigeons.

As mentioned in ''Men at Arms'', gargoyles' normal locations are inherently bound into their names, like a limpet. Take [[Cornice-overlooking-Broadway]], a gargoyle who stands on a roof and watches [[Broad Way]]. Other gargoyles, such as [[Downspout]] or Pediment, however, do not have names constructed this way. Possibly this is because as Watchmen, they ''have'' no normal location? Or maybe they omit the location from their name to make them more easily understood by [[human]]s...

[[Category:Discworld humanoid species]]
[[de:Wasserspeier]]

Gargoyles

2013-05-12T19:14:09Z

Sdornhoff:

Consider them moving masonry with a personality. To some, gargoyles are considered "urban trolls", because they are stone-based. Gargoyles may be very distantly related to trolls, if they are related at all. Trolls are large humanoid rocks with valuable minerals for blood vessels and neural networks. Gargoyles live well in [[Ankh-Morpork]] which is steamy and baking in summer, so their nervous system is very likely different from that of trolls (for an explanation, see [[trolls]]). Gargoyles have various, slightly monstrous shapes (just like the gargoyles you might see on really old-styled buildings), many with wings and claws, and all with a mouth that is shaped like a pipe that cannot be closed. Due to this pipe-shaped mouth, gargoyles have difficulties pronouncing consonants, and it takes some mental translation to understand their speech (see {{MAA}}). Gargoyles are extremely good at sitting still for a long time and watching the goings-on, therefore excellent job candidates for stakeout Watchman or semaphore watcher (watching the signals on another semaphore tower and relaying it).

They originally took minerals from the water that they had access to as a living gutter feature- the water would enter via the ear, and then, in the complex U-shaped alimentary tract that exists (presumeably) within their skull, the neccesary nutrients would be extracted from the said subsatnce, and the pure water woul be excreted out of their mouth. In urban [[Ankh-Morpork]], however, they soon found that pigeons were easier (and more chemically substantial) to eat than sewer water, and so they evolved to eat these. Their ears eventually became useless, and the only remains of the U-shaped tract is an abnormality in their digestive system, much like the human appendix. It has also been hinted that the gargoyle has mastered the valuable talent of closing its mouth, allowing proper communications with humans (see {{TWOP}})

They are not comfortable coming indoors, and will rarely descend lower than the first floor of a building. One of the few times any were ever seen on the ground was when the gargoyles fled the [[Unseen University]] when they sensed the coming of the [[Coin|Sourcerer]].

The rise of the clacks industry has opened numerous employment opportunities for gargoyles, for whom sitting still and watching a single spot for hours on end is normal behavior which they're pleased to be paid for. Gargoyles are also employed at the [[Royal Art Museum]] where their job is analagous to that of closed-circuit cameras, watching every entrance in and out of the building for signs of suspicious activity - ie, [[Thieves' Guild]] members with painting-shaped bulges in their coats.

The [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]] has the gargoyle constables [[Downspout]] ({{FOC}}) and [[Pediment]] ({{J}}); the modern Watch is an organization with much camaraderie, but the gargoyle constables fit in less well because gargoyles like to sit on the top and edge of buildings, and get uneasy when they have to be indoors or go nearer ground level. A gargoyle's natural way of life is to sit on roofs and sieve rainwater through their ears and mouth to strain for gnats. Gargoyles' preferred food is pigeon; the Watch gargoyles are paid in pigeons.

As mentioned in ''Men at Arms'', gargoyles' normal locations are inherently bound into their names, like a limpet. Take [[Cornice-overlooking-Broadway]], a gargoyle who stands on a roof and watches [[Broad Way]]. Other gargoyles, such as [[Downspout]] or Pediment, however, do not have names constructed this way. Possibly this is because as Watchmen, they ''have'' no normal location? Or maybe they omit the location from their name to make them more easily understood by [[human]]s...

[[Category:Discworld humanoid species]]
[[de:Wasserspeier]]

Rats

2013-05-12T19:03:20Z

Sdornhoff:

A species which, like [[cats]], is symbiotic with humanity but needs a better PR agency.

==Rat characters==
Rats of various kinds crop up in the Discworld annals. Named rats and rat-like entities in the Chronicles include:-

[[The Clan]] - A group of changed Rats who have aquired human level intelligence:

*[[Additives]]
*[[Dangerous Beans]] - White rat with a good nose.
*[[Hamnpork]] - Old male and leader of the clan.
*[[Peaches]] - The keeper of Mr Bunnsey Has An Adventure.
*[[Sardines]] - A tap dancing rat who wears a straw hat.
*[[Big Savings]] - Large female.
*[[Darktan]] - Head of the Trap Disposal squad, wears tool belts.
*Kidney
*Inbrine
*[[Nourishing]] - Youngest member of the Trap Disposal Squad
*Donut Eater
*Toxie - Young Male who has learned to write.
*Feedsfour - Female
*Bitesize
*Delicious
*Bestbefore
*Special Offer
*Fresh - Now deceased, caught in a trap.
*Tomato

Squads within The Clan:

*[[The Number Three Heavy Widdlers Squad]]
*[[The Trap Disposal Squad]]

Other Rat Characters:
*[[Skrp]]
*''[[Keekee]]s''
*Spider, a [[Rat King]]
*The [[Death of Rats]]
* An unnamed "homing rat" (presumably a trained ''keekee'') is used to carry a message in ''The Colour Of Magic''

Ratlike [[:Category:Human characters|humans]]:
*[[Mr Pounder]]
*[[Mr. Clete]]
*[[Mr. Pin]]

==Rat, the food==
Along with [[Dwarf Bread]], rat meat is a staple of the Dwarf diet. In fact, it's almost the only meat they eat. [[Dwarfs]] can become very upset if you try to sneak in chicken or veal, and you don't want to upset a Dwarf who's hungry already. As fast food, rat pie and rat on a stick predominate; set pieces for dinner include Rat Surprise and [[pizza|Quattro Rodenti]]. Nanny Ogg has tried to provide more palatable alternatives for Humans in her {{NOC}}, but it's just not the same. Remarkably, Nanny seemed unaware of the existence of [[rat fruit]], or she would surely have constructed an innuendo-laden recipe out of this choice cut. Perhaps the luxury food association was a deterrent to one planning a recipe book of largely plain and simple fare...

Cats and rats themselves also won't shy away from eating a bit of rat. Except the green wobbly bit.

External reference: {{wp|Rat#As_food|Wikipedia}}

==Rat, the annotation==

Is there an inversion here of the themes and ideas of James Clavell's WW2 prisoner-of-war saga, '''King Rat'''? Here, men held prisoner by the Japanese and half-starved to death on minimal rations first contemplate the idea of eating rat with horror and nausea. Then they get used to it. Then they start a rat farm in tunnels under the prison, and breed rats for commercial resale of the meat. As the war gets nearer its end, the Allied blockade bites, even the Japanese start to get hungry, forcing them to buy the rat meat from the prisoners via intermediaries (so as not to lose face). After liberation, one of the principal characters finds a diet of chicken and pork and beef is all very well, but he misses rat...

{{stub}}

[[Category:Discworld Flora & Fauna]]
[[Category:Food and drink]]
[[de:Ratten]]

Fretwork Teacher

2013-05-12T18:59:43Z

Sdornhoff:

One of [[Rincewind]]'s surfeit of academic titles.

Another relatively easy academic title to have, requiring, at present, remarkably little actual work. This position resulted from an ancient curse by a dying wizard that sounded very much like "May you always teach fretwork!".

However, it is interesting that the failed wizard Brian, in {{HFOS}}, confesses to [[Tiffany Aching]] that he actually did study fretwork at [[Unseen University]]. Is there a story yet to be told here?

Ironically, Rincewind has demonstrated a modest capacity for woodworking in ''The Last Continent'', in which he handcrafted primitive beach sandals from wood each evening as a safety precaution. (They made his footsteps sound like two people, and could be left behind as a distraction if this failed to bluff the hostile Ecksian wildlife.) This could well make Rincewind better-qualified for this job than he is for the majority of his UU job titles.

[[Category:Wizards]]
[[de:Lehrer für Laubsägearbeiten]]

Great Wizard

2013-05-12T18:51:42Z

Sdornhoff:

The '''Great Wizard''' is a central character in the myth of the founding of the [[Agatean Empire]], on the [[Counterweight continent]]. In the legend, the Great Wizard harnessed lightning to create an army out of the soil to fight for [[One Sun Mirror]]. This army, known as the [[Red Army]], enabled One Sun Mirror to unite the continent and create the Empire.

In more modern times, a revolution in the Agatean Empire was sparked by the book ''[[What I Did On My Holidays]]''. These revolutionaries decided to bring the "Great Wizzard" mentioned in this book to the Empire to lead the revolution. This Great Wizzard was [[Rincewind]], and the events of this revolution take place in {{IT}}.

"[[Rinso]]" falls on his arse and ends up discovering a multitude of statues buried in a field of mud outside the major city and - with a clever [[:Category:Devices|device-y]] type thing on the forearm (very like the control panel on the arm of the {{wp|Predator_%28alien%29|Predator}}) - brings all of the statues to life, drags them to the surface where they burst through the mud to win the day for the [[Silver Horde]] and allied revolutionaries. The support of the Great Wizard, as expressed by his Red Army, helps reinforce Cohen's claim to the throne of the Empire.

His most famous saying is "Goodbye"- something quite a lot of Agateans learn just before he vanishes in a cloud of dust...

==Annotation==

The army that the Great Wizard statue is found with is more-than-slightly reminiscent of the {{wp|Terracotta_Army|Terracotta Army}} (traditional Chinese: 兵馬俑: literally "soldier and horse funerary statues") found near Beijing in 1974. The Terracotta Warriors and Horses is a collection of 8,099 larger than life Chinese terra cotta figures of warriors and horses located near the Mausoleum of the First Qin Emperor (秦始皇陵).

The control options for the golem army -- walking, digging, climbing -- are reminiscent of those in the video game ''Lemmings'', in which hordes of identically-moving bushy-headed creatures must be guided through a subterranean obstacle course without them walking off cliffs, getting trapped in corners, etc. Several golems under Rincewind's control get bogged down or destroyed by mindlessly repeating the last command he sent them, much like many an unfortunate Lemming.

[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[de:Großer Zauberer]]

Rincewind

2013-05-12T18:21:30Z

Sdornhoff:

{{Character Data
|title= The Wizzard
|Rincewind Illustrated by [[User:puggdogg|Michael Collins]] a.k.a. puggdogg
|photo= Rincewind.jpg|
|name= Rincewind, first name unknown. Has referred to himself as Rincewand (see {{TLC}}), but don't believe it.
|age= Possibly born in 1932 UC, making him 32 in {{COM}} and 57 as of {{TLH}}.
|race= [[:Category:Human characters|Human]]
|occupation= [[:Category:Wizards|Wizzard]], egregious professor of cruel and unusual geography
|appearance= Young, athletic, often disheveled
|residence= Currently Unseen University
|death=
|parents=
|relatives= possibly [[Bill Rincewind]]; [[Lavaeolus]] might be an ancestor. [[Dr Rjinswand]] on [[Roundworld]] is a parellel-world version who has discovered something as good and as dangerous as magic, in nuclear energy...
|children=
|marital status=
|books= [[:Category:Rincewind Series|Rincewind series]]
|cameos= {{M}}, {{UA}}
}}
'''Rincewind''' has been an important character since the ''[[Discworld]]'' series started. He is a polite yet cowardly [[Wizard's magic|wizard]] with (almost) no magical ability and whose ambition in life is simply to continue having a life. He has been on many adventures, but almost entirely by accident. He is however gifted with languages, speaking several including [[Chimeria|Chimeran]], [[Vanglemesht]], [[Sumtri]], [[Black Oroogu]], [[Borogravia|High Borogravian]] and [[Trob|beTrobi]].

==Character==
He starred in {{COM}}, {{TLF}}, {{S}}, {{E}}, {{IT}} and {{TLC}}, and was also a major character in the graphic novel, {{TLH}} as well as in {{SOD1}} novels. He was born under the "Small Boring Group of Faint Stars", a sign associated with chess board makers, sellers of onions, manufacturers of plastic images of small religious significance and people allergic to pewter. Rincewind became the owner of [[the Luggage]] after it was given to him as a present by [[Twoflower]] in {{TLF}}.

He has a particular attraction to potatoes, and has in his time been mistaken for a demon, a god, lunch, a hero, a woman, and many other things. At one point he even very briefly visited [[Roundworld]], appearing on an aeroplane mid flight as Dr. Rjinswand, a nuclear physicist, in {{COM}}.

Maybe because he was the first major Discworld character, maybe because of his "hidden" bravery, or maybe because of his amazing incompetence, he has always been (and probably always will be) one of the most popular Discworld figures.

==Magical abilities==
Rincewind's magical ability is almost nonexistent. He never passed an exam at [[Unseen University]]. The highest score he received was 2% for spelling his name right. In fact, we are informed that he actually managed to receive negative marks in Basic Firestarting, an issue still hotly debated by the Faculty - "''How the Hell did he manage that''!" - even in the early pages of {{IT}}. Even when we first met him however he still had the right to wear the brass octogram confirming he is a UU alumnus. One wonders how he got into Unseen in the first place.

It has been estimated that when Rincewind finally dies, the average magical ability for the species will go up a fraction. What he cannot spell right, apparently, is his job description, because he has ''WIZZARD'' written in large letters on his pointy hat. The reason for this incompetence lies within an incident where he opened the [[Octavo]] and one of the great eight spells of the [[creator]] jumped out and settled down in his brain. This spell frightened off any other spells which Rincewind tried to learn.

Nevertheless, he has managed to do some impressive magic on very few occasions (e.g. in {{TLF}}), most often without his consent, although once near ''The Light Fantastic's'' climax, he was able to mentally unlock a door through apparently no efforts or powers but his own (albeit at great strain). This interestingly echoes another magical misfit, [[Magrat Garlick]], who similarly forced a thick unyielding door to open to her by using the power of magic.

While woefully inept at performing magic of his own, Rincewind does possess all wizards' baseline ability to sense magical energies, including the colour octarine. In ''Sourcery'', the saturation of the Disc with thaumic force accumulated in Rincewind as in other wizards, temporarily endowing him with the power to utilize spells, albeit ''very'' clumsily and erratically.

== Age and Early Life ==
Not much is known about Rincewind's early life. In {{IT}}, it is mentioned that "''Rincewind had no personal experience of either parent''." He has stated on more than one occasion that his mother "''ran away before he was born'' (is there a possibility his mother just ran away from home to have Rincewind and Rincewind is just looking for an excuse to be far away?)." However, Rincewind clearly remembers a birthday card with a '''Now you are Five...''' badge attached to it - which is the worst possible present anyone could receive at the age of six. He also remembers having had a stuffed toy lamb plush as a child, (mentioned in {{TLC}}.)

In {{TLF}}, Rincewind remembers his grandad telling him about [[Cohen]], again implying he grew up without his parents. In the same book, [[Trymon]] obtains Rincewind's "''precise place and time of birth''," from university records, so that an astrologer can cast a horoscope, implying that there is some record of Rincewind's birth.

Rincewind, [[Trymon]] and the [[Librarian]] all attended the University at around the same time, and are presumably the same age. In {{IT}}, Rincewind remembers hanging around with Noodle Jackson when he, (Rincewind,) was a very young student, implying that Rincewind has spent much of his life at [[Unseen University]].

==Travels==
[[Image:Rincewind in Ankh Morpork.jpg|200px|left|thumb|Rincewind In Ankh Morpork]]
Rincewind must be one of the most travelled characters in the Discworld series. He has seen [[Hell]], the [[Dungeon Dimensions]], the end of the world and its creation (where he very probably started life with a discarded egg sandwich). He has been to [[XXXX]], [[Klatch (continent)|Klatch]], the Moon, the [[Agatean Empire]], the [[Rim]] and all sorts of other interesting places. However, he probably cannot describe any of these places, because he was always running so fast that his feet barely touched the ground.

He seems to be constantly running away from danger (as such, most of his scars are on his back). He is the first to call himself a coward, although he's frequently frustrated by circumstances which cause him to be accidentally heroic. He always gets himself into dangerous situations, because he always has to help the helpless and innocent, even if half the time he would rather run away before it starts to happen to him. Also he is very realistic and rather cynical, so he knows when a situation is wrong and when, for instance, a bunch of poor foolhardy kids are going to get themselves killed (in {{IT}}).

He has been "''almost''" dead so often that [[Death]] calls Rincewind his hobby and does not actually know when he is going to die. Rincewind's [[life-timer]] has evolved in shape, much to Death's professional interest: far from resembling a simple hour-glass, it now manifests as a multi-dimensional glass nightmare, describing as having apparently been created by a glass-blower who had hiccups in a time machine. This is most likely due to his extensive dimensional and temporal travels while in constant fear of death. It is imposible to track the sand inside with any degree of accuracy, as occasionally it appears to move backwards.

Mentioned during the events of {{TLC}}, [[Death]] has come up with a theory about Rincewind: He is aware that many cultures and civilisations have the concept of the Eternal Champion, the eternal, ever-renewed hero, the Champion with a thousand faces. As Death is {{death|unable to enlighten, even by default, on conditions in the next world}}, He generally refrains from commentating. Privately, though, Death is aware of the particular Discworld condition that every condition and state of mind must have its opposite - thus Drunk - [[Knurd]], Crime - [[Anticrime]], Matter - Antimatter, etc. He has wondered, as He regards Rincewind's unique [[life-timer]], whether this belongs to the Eternal Coward, the anti-hero with a thousand retreating backs. Many cultures, after all, have the legend of an Eternal Champion who one day will be reborn in time of greatest need, (He even knows there is one in undying sleep underneath [[Lancre]], and there certainly was one in [[Holy Wood]].) It is possible that the balance of nature calls for an Eternal Coward who, when faced with waking up one morning to face down great threat, will pull the covers over his head and ignore the alarm clock.

==Unseen University Career==
After a failed career as a student, Rincewind was the UU library assistant for a while. He got on well with the [[Librarian]], and might well be the person who knows most about the Librarian, apparently even his name.

Aside from running away, his single greatest talent is an innate gift for languages: He can scream for mercy in nineteen languages and just scream in another forty-four.

Rincewind is currently the [[Egregious Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography]] at [[Unseen University]], along with at least eighteen other positions that none of the other wizards wanted (see {{SOD3}}), such as Health and Safety Officer. His degree is ''B. Mgc. Unseen University (failed)'' (see {{COM}}, 2. ''The Sending of Eight'', second paragraph).
However, in the opening chapters of {{IT}}, [[Ridcully]] ascertains the truth in a clear and businesslike fashion. Rincewind has effectively been operating under false pretences and claiming a status for himself - as a full, graduate wizard - to which he clearly has no right.

While nobody is sorrier to have to point this out than Ridcully, the sanctions available under University lore for the punishment of imposters are quite clear-cut and offer no room for mitigating circumstances, and he, Ridcully, would be quite shockingly negligent in his duties as [[Archchancellor]], if he did not order Rincewind to be nailed upside-down to one of the principal supporting pillars of the Brass Bridge at low tide.

After a pause to let this sink in, Ridcully then suggested that these things can be rectified and a retroactive honorary degree may be conferred if, for instance, a non-wizard in such an unenviable position were to go out and perform a great service of benefit to Wizards and all mankind, after which he, Rincewind, would be free to call himself a Wizzard, (and spell it with as many "z"'s as he likes).

Rincewind eventually conceded (in as many words) that Ridcully was being very fair-minded, under the circumstances, and consented to let himself be sent to the [[Counterweight continent|Counterweight Continent]] as the University's [[Great Wizard|expeditionary force]]. It may be inferred from Rincewind's subsequent promotion to the post of Egregious Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography that Ridcully has been faithful to his word and the honorary degree has been conferred, at last making Rincewind officially a wizard, albeit by a back-door route.

By the time of {{SOD3}}, Rincewind appears to have gained ''some'' amount of respect from the senior Faculty, as he sits at their meetings, perhaps as a result of his ingenious plan in {{SOD2}}; this seems to have raised his self-esteem somewhat, as he tries to insist on being called ''Professor'' Rincewind.

He is now also, quite reluctantly, a member of the "[[Unseen Academicals]]" [[football]] team.

==Philosophy==
Rincewind's philosophy on life is noted for its simplicity. He spends most of his time running away, and never particularly bothers with where he's running away to - what he's running from is always more important.

Rincewind is also firmly convinced that there are no causes worth dying for. As he sees it, you can pick up another five causes on any street corner, but you only have one life.

He views positive developments in his life with deep suspicion, reasoning that they are usually just a setup for some newer and more horrible fate to befall him. He is, almost invariably, correct.

As his list of misadventures has grown longer, Rincewind has grown increasingly cynical about how his own life works, and recently went so far as to volunteer for a suicidal mission to prevent the [[Silver Horde]] from blowing up the gods, because he figured he would end up on the mission anyway, either by force or by accident (as is probably true).

He feels he suffers from a sort of pre-emptive karma. The universe, as soon as something nice is about to happen to him, causes something awful to happen that not only balances out the good thing, but goes on happening right through the time during which the good thing is trying to happen, thus effectively blotting it out. It has been mentioned that there is possibly an anti-Rincewind to which only good things happen. Rincewind would very much like to meet him, preferably while holding a big stick. This may or may not be [[Bill Rincewind]]. One could in fact say that the only good luck he has is how safely he escapes his bad luck.

Rincewind also very much values [[potato]]es, apparently associating them, at a subconscious level, with women, sex, or both. He eventually underwent therapy for the problem.

==Misc==

Rincewind will appear on [http://news.bbc.co.uk/local/wiltshire/hi/people_and_places/arts_and_culture/newsid_9327000/9327675.stm Royal Mail stamps in 2011] along with [[Nanny Ogg]]

[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[Category:Leading characters]]
[[Category:Serial characters]]
[[Category:Human characters]]
[[Category:Wizards]]
[[de:Rincewind]]
[[cs:Mrakoplaš]]

Rincewind

2013-05-12T18:16:05Z

Sdornhoff:

Rincewind

2013-05-12T18:14:20Z

Sdornhoff:

{{Character Data
|title= The Wizzard
|Rincewind Illustrated by [[User:puggdogg|Michael Collins]] a.k.a. puggdogg
|photo= Rincewind.jpg|
|name= Rincewind, first name unknown. Has referred to himself as Rincewand (see {{TLC}}), but don't believe it.
|age= Possibly born in 1932 UC, making him 32 in {{COM}} and 57 as of {{TLH}}.
|race= [[:Category:Human characters|Human]]
|occupation= [[:Category:Wizards|Wizzard]], egregious professor of cruel and unusual geography
|appearance= Young, athletic, often disheveled
|residence= Currently Unseen University
|death=
|parents=
|relatives= possibly [[Bill Rincewind]]; [[Lavaeolus]] might be an ancestor. [[Dr Rjinswand]] on [[Roundworld]] is a parellel-world version who has discovered something as good and as dangerous as magic, in nuclear energy...
|children=
|marital status=
|books= [[:Category:Rincewind Series|Rincewind series]]
|cameos= {{M}}, {{UA}}
}}
'''Rincewind''' has been an important character since the ''[[Discworld]]'' series started. He is a polite yet cowardly [[Wizard's magic|wizard]] with (almost) no magical ability and whose ambition in life is simply to continue having a life. He has been on many adventures, but almost entirely by accident. He is however gifted with languages, speaking several including [[Chimeria|Chimeran]], [[Vanglemesht]], [[Sumtri]], [[Black Oroogu]], [[Borogravia|High Borogravian]] and [[Trob|beTrobi]].

==Character==
He starred in {{COM}}, {{TLF}}, {{S}}, {{E}}, {{IT}} and {{TLC}}, and was also a major character in the graphic novel, {{TLH}} as well as in {{SOD1}} novels. He was born under the "Small Boring Group of Faint Stars", a sign associated with chess board makers, sellers of onions, manufacturers of plastic images of small religious significance and people allergic to pewter. Rincewind became the owner of [[the Luggage]] after it was given to him as a present by [[Twoflower]] in {{TLF}}.

He has a particular attraction to potatoes, and has in his time been mistaken for a demon, a god, lunch, a hero, a woman, and many other things. At one point he even very briefly visited [[Roundworld]], appearing on an aeroplane mid flight as Dr. Rjinswand, a nuclear physicist, in {{COM}}.

Maybe because he was the first major Discworld character, maybe because of his "hidden" bravery, or maybe because of his amazing incompetence, he has always been (and probably always will be) one of the most popular Discworld figures.

==Magical abilities==
Rincewind's magical ability is almost nonexistent. He never passed an exam at [[Unseen University]]. The highest score he received was 2% for spelling his name right. In fact, we are informed that he actually managed to receive negative marks in Basic Firestarting, an issue still hotly debated by the Faculty - "''How the Hell did he manage that''!" - even in the early pages of {{IT}}. Even when we first met him however he still had the right to wear the brass octogram confirming he is a UU alumnus. One wonders how he got into Unseen in the first place.

It has been estimated that when Rincewind finally dies, the average magical ability for the species will go up a fraction. What he cannot spell right, apparently, is his job description, because he has ''WIZZARD'' written in large letters on his pointy hat. The reason for this incompetence lies within an incident where he opened the [[Octavo]] and one of the great eight spells of the [[creator]] jumped out and settled down in his brain. This spell frightened off any other spells which Rincewind tried to learn.

Nevertheless, he has managed to do some impressive magic on very few occasions (e.g. in {{TLF}}), most often without his consent, although once near ''The Light Fantastic's'' climax, he was able to mentally unlock a door through apparently no efforts or powers but his own (albeit at great strain). This interestingly echoes another magical misfit, [[Magrat Garlick]], who similarly forced a thick unyielding door to open to her by using the power of magic.

While woefully inept at performing magic of his own, Rincewind does possess all wizards' baseline ability to sense magical energies, including the colour octarine. In ''Sourcery'', the saturation of the Disc with thaumic force accumulated in Rincewind as in other wizards, temporarily endowing him with the power to utilize spells, albeit ''very'' clumsily and erratically.

== Age and Early Life ==
Not much is known about Rincewind's early life. In {{IT}}, it is mentioned that "''Rincewind had no personal experience of either parent''." He has stated on more than one occasion that his mother "''ran away before he was born'' (is there a possibility his mother just ran away from home to have Rincewind and Rincewind is just looking for an excuse to be far away?)." However, Rincewind clearly remembers a birthday card with a '''Now you are Five...''' badge attached to it - which is the worst possible present anyone could receive at the age of six. He also remembers having had a stuffed toy lamb plush as a child, (mentioned in {{TLC}}.)

In {{TLF}}, Rincewind remembers his grandad telling him about [[Cohen]], again implying he grew up without his parents. In the same book, [[Trymon]] obtains Rincewind's "''precise place and time of birth''," from university records, so that an astrologer can cast a horoscope, implying that there is some record of Rincewind's birth.

Rincewind, [[Trymon]] and the [[Librarian]] all attended the University at around the same time, and are presumably the same age. In {{IT}}, Rincewind remembers hanging around with Noodle Jackson when he, (Rincewind,) was a very young student, implying that Rincewind has spent much of his life at [[Unseen University]].

==Travels==
[[Image:Rincewind in Ankh Morpork.jpg|200px|left|thumb|Rincewind In Ankh Morpork]]
Rincewind must be one of the most travelled characters in the Discworld series. He has seen [[Hell]], the [[Dungeon Dimensions]], the end of the world and its creation (where he very probably started life with a discarded egg sandwich). He has been to [[XXXX]], [[Klatch (continent)|Klatch]], the [[Agatean Empire]], the [[Rim]] and all sorts of other interesting places. However, he probably cannot describe any of these places, because he was always running so fast that his feet barely touched the ground.

He seems to be constantly running away from danger (as such, most of his scars are on his back). He is the first to call himself a coward, although he's frequently frustrated by circumstances which cause him to be accidentally heroic. He always gets himself into dangerous situations, because he always has to help the helpless and innocent, even if half the time he would rather run away before it starts to happen to him. Also he is very realistic and rather cynical, so he knows when a situation is wrong and when, for instance, a bunch of poor foolhardy kids are going to get themselves killed (in {{IT}}).

He has been "''almost''" dead so often that [[Death]] calls Rincewind his hobby and does not actually know when he is going to die. Rincewind's [[life-timer]] has evolved in shape, much to Death's professional interest: far from resembling a simple hour-glass, it now manifests as a multi-dimensional glass nightmare, describing as having apparently been created by a glass-blower who had hiccups in a time machine. This is most likely due to his extensive dimensional and temporal travels while in constant fear of death. It is imposible to track the sand inside with any degree of accuracy, as occasionally it appears to move backwards.

Mentioned during the events of {{TLC}}, [[Death]] has come up with a theory about Rincewind: He is aware that many cultures and civilisations have the concept of the Eternal Champion, the eternal, ever-renewed hero, the Champion with a thousand faces. As Death is {{death|unable to enlighten, even by default, on conditions in the next world}}, He generally refrains from commentating. Privately, though, Death is aware of the particular Discworld condition that every condition and state of mind must have its opposite - thus Drunk - [[Knurd]], Crime - [[Anticrime]], Matter - Antimatter, etc. He has wondered, as He regards Rincewind's unique [[life-timer]], whether this belongs to the Eternal Coward, the anti-hero with a thousand retreating backs. Many cultures, after all, have the legend of an Eternal Champion who one day will be reborn in time of greatest need, (He even knows there is one in undying sleep underneath [[Lancre]], and there certainly was one in [[Holy Wood]].) It is possible that the balance of nature calls for an Eternal Coward who, when faced with waking up one morning to face down great threat, will pull the covers over his head and ignore the alarm clock.

==Unseen University Career==
After a failed career as a student, Rincewind was the UU library assistant for a while. He got on well with the [[Librarian]], and might well be the person who knows most about the Librarian, apparently even his name.

Aside from running away, his single greatest talent is an innate gift for languages: He can scream for mercy in nineteen languages and just scream in another forty-four.

Rincewind is currently the [[Egregious Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography]] at [[Unseen University]], along with at least eighteen other positions that none of the other wizards wanted (see {{SOD3}}), such as Health and Safety Officer. His degree is ''B. Mgc. Unseen University (failed)'' (see {{COM}}, 2. ''The Sending of Eight'', second paragraph).
However, in the opening chapters of {{IT}}, [[Ridcully]] ascertains the truth in a clear and businesslike fashion. Rincewind has effectively been operating under false pretences and claiming a status for himself - as a full, graduate wizard - to which he clearly has no right.

While nobody is sorrier to have to point this out than Ridcully, the sanctions available under University lore for the punishment of imposters are quite clear-cut and offer no room for mitigating circumstances, and he, Ridcully, would be quite shockingly negligent in his duties as [[Archchancellor]], if he did not order Rincewind to be nailed upside-down to one of the principal supporting pillars of the Brass Bridge at low tide.

After a pause to let this sink in, Ridcully then suggested that these things can be rectified and a retroactive honorary degree may be conferred if, for instance, a non-wizard in such an unenviable position were to go out and perform a great service of benefit to Wizards and all mankind, after which he, Rincewind, would be free to call himself a Wizzard, (and spell it with as many "z"'s as he likes).

Rincewind eventually conceded (in as many words) that Ridcully was being very fair-minded, under the circumstances, and consented to let himself be sent to the [[Counterweight continent|Counterweight Continent]] as the University's [[Great Wizard|expeditionary force]]. It may be inferred from Rincewind's subsequent promotion to the post of Egregious Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography that Ridcully has been faithful to his word and the honorary degree has been conferred, at last making Rincewind officially a wizard, albeit by a back-door route.

By the time of {{SOD3}}, Rincewind appears to have gained ''some'' amount of respect from the senior Faculty, as he sits at their meetings, perhaps as a result of his ingenious plan in {{SOD2}}; this seems to have raised his self-esteem somewhat, as he tries to insist on being called ''Professor'' Rincewind.

He is now also, quite reluctantly, a member of the "[[Unseen Academicals]]" [[football]] team.

==Philosophy==
Rincewind's philosophy on life is noted for its simplicity. He spends most of his time running away, and never particularly bothers with where he's running away to - what he's running from is always more important.

Rincewind is also firmly convinced that there are no causes worth dying for. As he sees it, you can pick up another five causes on any street corner, but you only have one life.

He views positive developments in his life with deep suspicion, reasoning that they are usually just a setup for some newer and more horrible fate to befall him. He is, almost invariably, correct.

As his list of misadventures has grown longer, Rincewind has grown increasingly cynical about how his own life works, and recently went so far as to volunteer for a suicidal mission to prevent the [[Silver Horde]] from blowing up the gods, because he figured he would end up on the mission anyway, either by force or by accident (as is probably true).

He feels he suffers from a sort of pre-emptive karma. The universe, as soon as something nice is about to happen to him, causes something awful to happen that not only balances out the good thing, but goes on happening right through the time during which the good thing is trying to happen, thus effectively blotting it out. It has been mentioned that there is possibly an anti-Rincewind to which only good things happen. Rincewind would very much like to meet him, preferably while holding a big stick. This may or may not be [[Bill Rincewind]]. One could in fact say that the only good luck he has is how safely he escapes his bad luck.

Rincewind also very much values [[potato]]es, apparently associating them, at a subconscious level, with women, sex, or both. He eventually underwent therapy for the problem.

==Misc==

Rincewind will appear on [http://news.bbc.co.uk/local/wiltshire/hi/people_and_places/arts_and_culture/newsid_9327000/9327675.stm Royal Mail stamps in 2011] along with [[Nanny Ogg]]

[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[Category:Leading characters]]
[[Category:Serial characters]]
[[Category:Human characters]]
[[Category:Wizards]]
[[de:Rincewind]]
[[cs:Mrakoplaš]]

Verence II

2013-05-12T08:23:57Z

Sdornhoff:

{{Character Data|
|title= King Verence II
|photo=
|name= Verence
|age=
|race= Human
|occupation= King of [[Lancre]]
|appearance= Bandy-legged, runny nose, watery eyes
|residence= [[Lancre]]
|death=
|parents=
|relatives= [[Tomjon]], half-brother
|children= Princess [[Esmerelda Margaret Note Spelling of Lancre]]
|marital status= Married to [[Magrat Garlick]]
|books= {{WS}}, {{WA}}, {{LL}}, {{CJ}}
|cameos= mentioned {{TT}}, {{ISWM}}
}}

'''When''' first encountered, Verence was a [[Fools Guild|Fool]] at [[Lancre Castle]] working for [[Leonal Felmet|Lord]] and [[Lady Felmet]]. He is actually quite tall, but bandied his legs and pranced in a half crouch so that he appeared to be a small man. He has a runny nose, a strong dislike of custard and absolutely no sense of humour. This is because he was educated in the Fools' Guild, to which his abusive grandfather sent him as a child. Verence's father ran away from Lancre long ago; Nanny Ogg refers to his mother, one of the Beldame family from Blackglass, in the past tense, implying she is deceased.

He befriended [[Magrat Garlick]] one day, and this was the start of a rather unusual relationship, even for a Fool, in which both people were too embarrassed to discuss their situation. However, when Verence was elevated from a Fool to King of [[Lancre]] by [[Granny Weatherwax]] in response to Felmet's reign of oppression, their relationship continued to escalate into true love, although due to the large amount of embarrassment, nothing ever happened to advance this. However, a letter from Granny Weatherwax whilst abroad with Magrat and [[Nanny Ogg]] caused Verence to arrange a wedding. The wedding was scheduled for Midsummer's Eve, and on this particular occasion the [[Elves]] broke through, capturing him.

Soon freed by the trio of [[Witches magic|witches]], [[Mustrum Ridcully|Archchancellor Ridcully]], and most of Lancre's population, Verence married Magrat. By the time of {{CJ}} they had produced an heir, Princess [[Esmerelda Margaret Note Spelling of Lancre]].

After inviting a group of [[vampyres]] to his castle he was bitten, but thanks to some nourishing [[Brose|brose]] from the [[Nac Mac Feegle]] [[Kelda]] [[Big Aggie]] he was soon up and about again.

[[William de Worde]] was his correspondant in Ankh Morpork.

[[category:Discworld characters|Verence II, King]]
[[category:Serial characters|Verence II, King]]
[[category:Human characters|Verence II, King]]
[[de:Verence II von Lancre]]