Discworld & Terry Pratchett Wiki - User contributions [en]

Auditors of Reality

2018-01-07T03:02:23Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title= The Auditors of Reality
|photo=Blank.jpg|
|name= Legion
|age= as old as Time
|race= sui generis
|occupation= maintenance
|appearance= like empty gray cloaks
|residence=everywhere
|death=
|parents=
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status=

|books= {{RM}}, {{H}}, {{TOT}}, {{SOD3}}
|cameos=
}}
The '''Auditors of Reality''' are the eternal watchers of time and space. Appearing as empty gray cloaks, they have no sense of humanity and all that it entails, whether it be humor or even a sense of singularity, which they particularly despise. Auditors think that to live is to die, and to be a specific person is to live, so an Auditor finds itself imploding if it so much as talks about itself in the first person. Auditors always speak of the "we". Auditors always work in groups of at least three, so that each one can be watched by at least two others. Supposedly all Auditors are of the same opinions about everything, but they still need to watch each other because, frankly, the temptation to live is too great.

They have also had their fair share of run-ins with the [[Death]] of the [[Discworld (world)|Discworld]]. Auditors tend to be very unpopular with all [[anthropomorphic personification]]s and other supernatural entities for breaking the world to make things ''the way they ought to be''. Auditors think that everything should obey basic physics (i.e. it should not be affected by imagination, perceptions, or thoughts, which sentient beings possess in amounts that seem to the Auditors to be unacceptable). Auditors also think that things should be regular (i.e. all cobblestones should be exactly same size and shape), and all spoken words ought to be literal and there ought not be metaphors. Auditors have tried at various times to get Death replaced by someone with less heart, get people to stop believing in a [[Hogfather|winter]] [[the gods|god]], and make time stop so that the Auditors can finally catch up with all the paperwork. They also, once they became aware of its existence, objected to certain aspects of [[Roundworld]] history, and sought to destroy it.

=== Ancient non-life form ===

The Auditors are both repelled by life (and humans in particular) and drawn to it. This leads them to interfere in Discworld, and to do this they are willing to break the Rules.

In {{RM}} it says they cannot be described in ordinary language. “Some people would call them cherubs.” Death calls them servants, watchers. Like him, they are able to appear before [[Azrael]]. In {{H}}, Death says of them, “They run the universe. They see to it that gravity works and that atoms spin (or whatever it is atoms do).”

In {{TOT}} it says things need to be observed in order to exist. In that case, as the most fundamental of observers, nothing would exist without them. Clearly they are part of the cosmic order, and if it were imaginable that any power could diminish them in their own realm, it would be up to the combined forces of Discworld to rally round. This does not stop them from making a nuisance of themselves.

The Auditors hate life, because it is untidy. By their nature, the Auditors take the view that for a thing to exist it has to have a position in time and space. But all the things that distinguish human beings, such as imagination, pity, hope, history and belief, don’t do time and space. Humanity, by belief, allows things to become that don’t exist. Death said that matter has a fear and hatred of life, and the Auditors are the bearers of that hatred. Periodically they try to tidy things up.

Gravity and atoms are basically important, but the Auditors are rubbish in the human dimension. An intelligence a billion years old, which has seen galaxies die, and sees atoms dance, which has hundreds of senses and thinks in 18 dimensions, which makes decisions by the concensus of millions, quickly falls to bits if clamped into the five senses of a human being, with demanding organs wired into its thinking system, looking out at the world from the darkness behind the eyes through the letterbox of “me”. Life is intoxicating, and if the auditors stray into organic territory, they come to grief.

Auditors' thinking processes are noted repeatedly to be very robotic. One way to stop them and cause them to implode is to write signs which say, in large letters 'IGNORE THIS ORDER', or a sign saying 'TURN RIGHT' with an arrow pointing left.

=== Annotation ===
The Auditors appear to be a tribute to the "Grey Men" (Graue Männer) in Michael Ende's fantasy novel [[wikipedia:Momo(novel)|MOMO]], in which (as in Pratchett) the gray-clothed accountant-like characters closely monitor the actions of all characters and seek to make them as efficient as possible, with no regard for their actual well-being. Ende's gray men are likewise stumped by encounters that seem not to follow literal guidelines, and are ultimately flouted by beauty and a childlike love of narrative.

[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[Category:Supernatural entities]]
[[Category:Serial characters]]
[[Category:Supporting characters]]
[[de:Revisoren der Realität]]

Tenth Foot

2014-12-04T20:23:16Z

RedReplicant: /* Annotation */

====="FIRST INTO BATTLE, LAST OUT OF THE FRAY"=====

'''The Tenth Foot''' (or Infantry) is an old and honorable regiment of the [[Borogravia]]n Army. It has such a length of tradition that it has two nicknames: the ''Ins-and-Outs'', from the motto above, and the ''Cheesemongers'', from a folk song about about a soldier stealing a dairymaid's cheese. This last is slightly risqué for Borogravia (although perhaps not for the army), but their shako badge is a flaming cheese.

For much of recent history the Ins-and-Outs have been famous for including Sgt. [[Jack Jackrum]], the toughest NCO in the army. Most recently, it held Jackrum's squad of [[Book:Monstrous Regiment|rookie commandos]] under Lt. [[Blouse]] who changed the war and the country.

*Known members during the events of {{MR}}
**Lt. [[Blouse]]
**Sgt. [[Jack Jackrum]]
**Cpl. [[Strappi]]
**Lance Cpl. [[Maladict]]
**Pte. [[Polly Perks|Oliver Perks]]
**Pte. [[Igor#Igor in the Ins-and-Outs, Borogravia|Igor]]
**Pte. [[Carborundum]]
**Pte. [[Tonker Halter]]
**Pte. [[Lofty Tewt]]
**Pte. [[Shufti Manickle]]
**Pte. [[Wazzer Goom]]
Many of the Borogravian staff officers and even General [[Froc]] have been in the Tenth with Jackrum at one time, but who remains and who has moved on to the general staff is unclear.

See [[Book:Monstrous Regiment/Annotations|here]] for Roundworld referents.

==Annotation==

As Sgt. Jackrum and Pte. Perks explain to the rest of the regiment, the Cheesemongers' official song is a Folk Song, and thus has a "Humourous" content rather than a directly sexual one. The basic storyline of the song is that a young dairy maid is walking to market with her cheese, and is stopped by an (apparently attractive) young soldier. He offers to help her "tie her garter" in a more secluded area, she agrees, and when she lies down, he proceeds to make off with her cheese, leaving her frustrated and short a day's wages. Presumably this episode is followed by numerous repetitions of "too-rah-loo-rah-lay" &c.

[[Category:Groups]]

Tenth Foot

2014-12-04T20:22:42Z

RedReplicant: /* "FIRST INTO BATTLE, LAST OUT OF THE FRAY" */

====="FIRST INTO BATTLE, LAST OUT OF THE FRAY"=====

'''The Tenth Foot''' (or Infantry) is an old and honorable regiment of the [[Borogravia]]n Army. It has such a length of tradition that it has two nicknames: the ''Ins-and-Outs'', from the motto above, and the ''Cheesemongers'', from a folk song about about a soldier stealing a dairymaid's cheese. This last is slightly risqué for Borogravia (although perhaps not for the army), but their shako badge is a flaming cheese.

For much of recent history the Ins-and-Outs have been famous for including Sgt. [[Jack Jackrum]], the toughest NCO in the army. Most recently, it held Jackrum's squad of [[Book:Monstrous Regiment|rookie commandos]] under Lt. [[Blouse]] who changed the war and the country.

*Known members during the events of {{MR}}
**Lt. [[Blouse]]
**Sgt. [[Jack Jackrum]]
**Cpl. [[Strappi]]
**Lance Cpl. [[Maladict]]
**Pte. [[Polly Perks|Oliver Perks]]
**Pte. [[Igor#Igor in the Ins-and-Outs, Borogravia|Igor]]
**Pte. [[Carborundum]]
**Pte. [[Tonker Halter]]
**Pte. [[Lofty Tewt]]
**Pte. [[Shufti Manickle]]
**Pte. [[Wazzer Goom]]
Many of the Borogravian staff officers and even General [[Froc]] have been in the Tenth with Jackrum at one time, but who remains and who has moved on to the general staff is unclear.

See [[Book:Monstrous Regiment/Annotations|here]] for Roundworld referents.

==Annotation==

As Sgt. Jackrum and Pvt. Perks explain to the rest of the regiment, the Cheesemongers' official song is a Folk Song, and thus has a "Humourous" content rather than a directly sexual one. The basic storyline of the song is that a young dairy maid is walking to market with her cheese, and is stopped by an (apparently attractive) young soldier. He offers to help her "tie her garter" in a more secluded area, she agrees, and when she lies down, he proceeds to make off with her cheese, leaving her frustrated and short a day's wages. Presumably this episode is followed by numerous repetitions of "too-rah-loo-rah-lay" &c.

[[Category:Groups]]

Tenth Foot

2014-12-04T20:21:09Z

RedReplicant: /* Annotation */

====="FIRST INTO BATTLE, LAST OUT OF THE FRAY"=====

'''The Tenth Foot''' (or Infantry) is an old and honorable regiment of the [[Borogravia]]n Army. It has such a length of tradition that it has two nicknames: the ''Ins-and-Outs'', from the motto above, and the ''Cheesemongers'', from a folk song about about a soldier stealing a dairymaid's cheese. This last is unusually risqué for Borogravia, but their shako badge is a flaming cheese.

For much of recent history the Ins-and-Outs have been famous for including Sgt. [[Jack Jackrum]], the toughest NCO in the army. Most recently, it held Jackrum's squad of [[Book:Monstrous Regiment|rookie commandos]] under Lt. [[Blouse]] who changed the war and the country.

*Known members during the events of {{MR}}
**Lt. [[Blouse]]
**Sgt. [[Jack Jackrum]]
**Cpl. [[Strappi]]
**Lance Cpl. [[Maladict]]
**Pte. [[Polly Perks|Oliver Perks]]
**Pte. [[Igor#Igor in the Ins-and-Outs, Borogravia|Igor]]
**Pte. [[Carborundum]]
**Pte. [[Tonker Halter]]
**Pte. [[Lofty Tewt]]
**Pte. [[Shufti Manickle]]
**Pte. [[Wazzer Goom]]
Many of the Borogravian staff officers and even General [[Froc]] have been in the Tenth with Jackrum at one time, but who remains and who has moved on to the general staff is unclear.

See [[Book:Monstrous Regiment/Annotations|here]] for Roundworld referents.

==Annotation==

As Sgt. Jackrum and Pvt. Perks explain to the rest of the regiment, the Cheesemongers' official song is a Folk Song, and thus has a "Humourous" content rather than a directly sexual one. The basic storyline of the song is that a young dairy maid is walking to market with her cheese, and is stopped by an (apparently attractive) young soldier. He offers to help her "tie her garter" in a more secluded area, she agrees, and when she lies down, he proceeds to make off with her cheese, leaving her frustrated and short a day's wages. Presumably this episode is followed by numerous repetitions of "too-rah-loo-rah-lay" &c.

[[Category:Groups]]

Tenth Foot

2014-12-04T20:19:59Z

RedReplicant: /* "FIRST INTO BATTLE, LAST OUT OF THE FRAY" */

====="FIRST INTO BATTLE, LAST OUT OF THE FRAY"=====

'''The Tenth Foot''' (or Infantry) is an old and honorable regiment of the [[Borogravia]]n Army. It has such a length of tradition that it has two nicknames: the ''Ins-and-Outs'', from the motto above, and the ''Cheesemongers'', from a folk song about about a soldier stealing a dairymaid's cheese. This last is unusually risqué for Borogravia, but their shako badge is a flaming cheese.

For much of recent history the Ins-and-Outs have been famous for including Sgt. [[Jack Jackrum]], the toughest NCO in the army. Most recently, it held Jackrum's squad of [[Book:Monstrous Regiment|rookie commandos]] under Lt. [[Blouse]] who changed the war and the country.

*Known members during the events of {{MR}}
**Lt. [[Blouse]]
**Sgt. [[Jack Jackrum]]
**Cpl. [[Strappi]]
**Lance Cpl. [[Maladict]]
**Pte. [[Polly Perks|Oliver Perks]]
**Pte. [[Igor#Igor in the Ins-and-Outs, Borogravia|Igor]]
**Pte. [[Carborundum]]
**Pte. [[Tonker Halter]]
**Pte. [[Lofty Tewt]]
**Pte. [[Shufti Manickle]]
**Pte. [[Wazzer Goom]]
Many of the Borogravian staff officers and even General [[Froc]] have been in the Tenth with Jackrum at one time, but who remains and who has moved on to the general staff is unclear.

See [[Book:Monstrous Regiment/Annotations|here]] for Roundworld referents.

==Annotation==

As Sgt. Jackrum and Polly explain to the rest of the regiment, the Cheesemongers' official song is a Folk Song, and thus has a "Humourous" content rather than a directly sexual one. The basic storyline of the song is that a young dairy maid is walking to market with her cheese, and is stopped by an (apparently attractive) young soldier. He offers to help her "tie her garter" in a more secluded area, she agrees, and when she lies down, he proceeds to make off with her cheese, leaving her frustrated and short a day's wages. Presumably this episode is followed by numerous repetitions of "too-rah-loo-rah-lay" &c.

[[Category:Groups]]

Chem

2014-11-30T02:54:02Z

RedReplicant:

The words in the head of a [[Golems|Golem]], determining its task and function. The Hebrew word "chem" (שם, correctly transcribed as "shem") means "name". The chem usually consists of a slip of paper, on which a priest has written a suitable phrase, maybe a commandment, from a holy text of the religion of the priest's choosing. For some golems, work instructions are written instead of holy text. Some of the more ancient golems, such as [[Anghammarad]], had clay tablets in their head instead of paper.

Some golems are set free by placing their receipt, stating that the holder of the receipt is the owner of the golem, in their head with the chem. The golem [[Dorfl]] recieved his receipt, thereby becoming his own owner and the first free golem.

The wily [[Vetinari|Havelock Vetinari]] has taken advantage of this by re-writing the chem to turn free Golems into dedicated Government agents, such as Mr [[Pump]], who tracks down and arrests [[Moist von Lipwig]] in accordance with the ''new'' words in his head, put there by Vetinari...

==Annotation==

In many [[Roundworld]] tales, the {{wp|golem|golem}} is inscribed with magic or religious words that keep it animated. Writing one of the names of God on its forehead, a slip of paper in its mouth, or inscribed on its body, or writing the word Emet (אמת, "truth" in the Hebrew language) on its forehead are examples of such words. By erasing the first letter aleph in Emet to form Met (מת, "dead" in Hebrew) the golem could be deactivated. Another way is by writing a specific incantation in the owner's blood on calfskin parchment, and placing it in the mouth. (Which, of course, [[Dorfl]] does, in a desperate attempt to revive Father [[Tubelcek]] after he has been attacked by the Golem King, in {{FOC}}). Removing the parchment will deactivate the golem. It is likely that this is the same incantation that the Rabbi recites in the classic narrative. Though it was said that taking the golems chem would "kill" them Dorfl regained himself in order to "kill" [[Meshugah]] claiming that "words in the heart can not be taken".

[[de:Chem]]
[[Category:Discworld concepts]]
[[Category:Discworld culture]]

Meshugah

2014-11-30T02:53:20Z

RedReplicant:

The king of the [[golems]], appearing in {{FOC}}. He was made by a group of golems with the assistance of Mr. [[Hopkinson]] and Father [[Tubelcek]], and is the first to have been created in several centuries. Meshugah is white, with a clay crown molded on to his head. He also displays many cracks, which widen over the course of the novel.

Unfortunately, the golems were far too ambitious with their creation. They gave him far too many [[chem]]s, all of which were impossible to fulfill. This drove the king completely insane, and was further exacerbated by being baked out of leftover clay in a bread oven, which left him extremely brittle. Prior to the main events of the novel, he was sold to Mr. [[Arthur Carry]], a candle maker, for little more than thirty [[Ankh-Morpork]] dollars, and was given the name Meshugah.

Meshugah proved to be so productive that Carry gradually managed to put all of his competitors out of business and acquire a complete monopoly over candle manufacturing in the city. It is also presumed that during this time, the [[Dragon King of Arms]] enlisted Carry in a plot to poison [[Vetinari]]. The golem king would serve as the silent accomplice to this crime, and nobody except for Carry or the Dragon King would know how the Patrician was being poisoned.

Eventually the [[City Watch]] discovered the cause of the poisonings, and confronted the golem king in Carry's factory. Despite its flawed construction, the golem king proved deceptively fast and powerful. Only due to the actions of the golem [[Dorfl]] did the Watch manage to finally subdue the insane golem.

==Annotations==
Meshugah is probably related to the [[Roundworld]] Yiddish mashugga/meshuggeh, which means "crazy". See [[Book:Feet_of_Clay|here]] for more.

''Meshugah proved to be so productive that Carry gradually managed to put all of his competitors out of business and acquire a complete monopoly over candle manufacturing in the city.'' - this is a point reiterated by Hubert Turvy in {{MM}} when advising the Patrician on economics - that using golems for routine production would only succeed in having the opposite effect of driving thousands out of work, with consequent recession and civil unrest.

[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[de:Meschugga]]

Meshugah

2014-11-30T02:52:54Z

RedReplicant:

The king of the [[golems]], appearing in {{FOC}}. He was made by a group of golems with the assistance of Mr. [[Hopkinson]] and Father [[Tubelcek]], and is the first to have been created in several centuries. Meshugah is white, with a tiny crown molded on to his head - as befitting a king. He also displays many cracks, which widen over the course of the novel.

Unfortunately, the golems were far too ambitious with their creation. They gave him far too many [[chem]]s, all of which were impossible to fulfill. This drove the king completely insane, and was further exacerbated by being baked out of leftover clay in a bread oven, which left him extremely brittle. Prior to the main events of the novel, he was sold to Mr. [[Arthur Carry]], a candle maker, for little more than thirty [[Ankh-Morpork]] dollars, and was given the name Meshugah.

Meshugah proved to be so productive that Carry gradually managed to put all of his competitors out of business and acquire a complete monopoly over candle manufacturing in the city. It is also presumed that during this time, the [[Dragon King of Arms]] enlisted Carry in a plot to poison [[Vetinari]]. The golem king would serve as the silent accomplice to this crime, and nobody except for Carry or the Dragon King would know how the Patrician was being poisoned.

Eventually the [[City Watch]] discovered the cause of the poisonings, and confronted the golem king in Carry's factory. Despite its flawed construction, the golem king proved deceptively fast and powerful. Only due to the actions of the golem [[Dorfl]] did the Watch manage to finally subdue the insane golem.

==Annotations==
Meshugah is probably related to the [[Roundworld]] Yiddish mashugga/meshuggeh, which means "crazy". See [[Book:Feet_of_Clay|here]] for more.

''Meshugah proved to be so productive that Carry gradually managed to put all of his competitors out of business and acquire a complete monopoly over candle manufacturing in the city.'' - this is a point reiterated by Hubert Turvy in {{MM}} when advising the Patrician on economics - that using golems for routine production would only succeed in having the opposite effect of driving thousands out of work, with consequent recession and civil unrest.

[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[de:Meschugga]]

Meshugah

2014-11-30T02:52:29Z

RedReplicant:

The king of the [[golems]], appearing in {{FOC}}. He was made by a group of golems with the assistance of Mr. [[Hopkinson]] and Father [[Tubelcek]], and is the first to have been created in several centuries. Meshugah is white, with a tiny crown molded on to his head - the king of golems. He also displays many cracks, which widen over the course of the novel.

Unfortunately, the golems were far too ambitious with their creation. They gave him far too many [[chem]]s, all of which were impossible to fulfill. This drove the king completely insane, and was further exacerbated by being baked out of leftover clay in a bread oven, which left him extremely brittle. Prior to the main events of the novel, he was sold to Mr. [[Arthur Carry]], a candle maker, for little more than thirty [[Ankh-Morpork]] dollars, and was given the name Meshugah.

Meshugah proved to be so productive that Carry gradually managed to put all of his competitors out of business and acquire a complete monopoly over candle manufacturing in the city. It is also presumed that during this time, the [[Dragon King of Arms]] enlisted Carry in a plot to poison [[Vetinari]]. The golem king would serve as the silent accomplice to this crime, and nobody except for Carry or the Dragon King would know how the Patrician was being poisoned.

Eventually the [[City Watch]] discovered the cause of the poisonings, and confronted the golem king in Carry's factory. Despite its flawed construction, the golem king proved deceptively fast and powerful. Only due to the actions of the golem [[Dorfl]] did the Watch manage to finally subdue the insane golem.

==Annotations==
Meshugah is probably related to the [[Roundworld]] Yiddish mashugga/meshuggeh, which means "crazy". See [[Book:Feet_of_Clay|here]] for more.

''Meshugah proved to be so productive that Carry gradually managed to put all of his competitors out of business and acquire a complete monopoly over candle manufacturing in the city.'' - this is a point reiterated by Hubert Turvy in {{MM}} when advising the Patrician on economics - that using golems for routine production would only succeed in having the opposite effect of driving thousands out of work, with consequent recession and civil unrest.

[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[de:Meschugga]]

Umnia

2014-11-30T02:49:43Z

RedReplicant:

An ancient state whose main city of Um is now destroyed and all but forgotten. Their main invention was [[Umnian Golems]]; once they had invented golems they needed little else. The city-state was controlled by priests and run as a theocracy until its apocalyptic destruction in the first war with the [[Ice Giants]]. The Umnian golems were perhaps the most beautiful golems ever to be created, white with script-like writing baked into their pottery. These golems do not have a [[Chem]], since their "words" are baked right on. Thus, they cannot be freed in the way that newer golems can. It is up to [[Moist von Lipwig]] to solve such a twisty problem.

While the city was destroyed and washed away in a deluge of water (perhaps caused by the destruction of one of the Ice Giant's glaciers) many of the golems survived. Washed far away and buried deep under the deposited silt and ruins of Um they languished in the dark, awaiting new commands...

[[Category:Discworld Historical Events]]

Flead

2014-11-30T02:46:54Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title= Professor of Necromancy
|photo=
|name= Professor Flead
|age= dead for 300 years
|race= Human

|occupation= Old School Necromancer
|appearance= generic wizard ghost

|residence= [[Pink PussyCat Club]], [[Ankh-Morpork]]

|death= from old age
|parents=
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status=
|books= {{MM}}
|cameos=
}}

Professor Flead is a [[Department of Post-Mortem Communications|necromancer]], from the time when a necromancer could blast people with Black Fire to get them to move. Although he has been dead for nearly 300 years at the time of {{MM}}, you can't take the romance out of the necromancer. He is extremely excitable at the sight of young ladies, hemlines having risen since his death. His flirtation with [[Adora Belle Dearheart]] is quite distressing to [[Moist von Lipwig]], her boyfriend - so much so that he finds a convenient way to install Professor Flead in a location Adora Belle will never discover.

He is an expert on the language of the empire of [[Umnia|Um]], which perished sixty thousand years ago.

At the conclusion of Making Money, he is (per his request, and the manipulations of Moist) [[Insorcism|insorcised]] into (that is, made to haunt) the [[Pink PussyCat Club]]. He currently haunts seat seven (front row, centre). This has served only to benefit the club, as all rabble-rousers, bad tippers and general good-for-nothings promptly find themselves thrown out on their backsides even without the intervention of the club bouncer. The management has concluded that the peace and (relative) quiet is worth the loss of a single seat's fee.

[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[Category:Human characters]]
[[Category:Wizards]]
[[Category:Undead characters]]
[[Category:Making Money]]
[[de:Flett]]

Flead

2014-11-30T02:46:23Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title= Professor of Necromancy
|photo=
|name= Professor Flead
|age= dead for 300 years
|race= Human

|occupation= Old School Necromancer
|appearance= generic wizard ghost

|residence= [[Pink PussyCat Club]], [[Ankh-Morpork]]

|death= from old age
|parents=
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status=
|books= {{MM}}
|cameos=
}}

Professor Flead is a [[Department of Post-Mortem Communications|necromancer]], from the time when a necromancer could blast people with Black Fire to get them to move. Although he has been dead for nearly 300 years at the time of {{MM}}, you can't take the romance out of the necromancer. He is extremely excitable at the sight of young ladies, hemlines having risen since his death. His flirtation with [[Adora Belle Dearheart]] is quite distressing to [[Moist von Lipwig]], her boyfriend - so much so that he finds a convenient way to install him in a location Adora Belle will never discover.

He is an expert on the language of the empire of [[Umnia|Um]], which perished sixty thousand years ago.

At the conclusion of Making Money, he is (per his request, and the manipulations of Moist) [[Insorcism|insorcised]] into (that is, made to haunt) the [[Pink PussyCat Club]]. He currently haunts seat seven (front row, centre). This has served only to benefit the club, as all rabble-rousers, bad tippers and general good-for-nothings promptly find themselves thrown out on their backsides even without the intervention of the club bouncer. The management has concluded that the peace and (relative) quiet is worth the loss of a single seat's fee.

[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[Category:Human characters]]
[[Category:Wizards]]
[[Category:Undead characters]]
[[Category:Making Money]]
[[de:Flett]]

Flead

2014-11-30T02:46:00Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title= Professor of Necromancy
|photo=
|name= Professor Flead
|age= dead for 300 years
|race= Human

|occupation= Old School Necromancer
|appearance= generic wizard ghost

|residence= [[Pink PussyCat Club]], [[Ankh-Morpork]]

|death= from old age
|parents=
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status=
|books= {{MM}}
|cameos=
}}

Professor Flead is a [[Department of Post-Mortem Communications|necromancer]], from the time when a necromancer could blast people with Black Fire to get them to move. Although he has been dead for nearly 300 years at the time of {{MM}}, you can't take the romance out of the necromancer. He is extremely excitable at the sight of young ladies, hemlines having risen since his death. His flirtation with [[Adora Belle Dearheart]] is quite distressing to [[Moist Von Lipwig]], her boyfriend - so much so that he finds a convenient way to install him in a location Adora Belle will never discover.

He is an expert on the language of the empire of [[Umnia|Um]], which perished sixty thousand years ago.

At the conclusion of Making Money, he is (per his request, and the manipulations of Moist) [[Insorcism|insorcised]] into (that is, made to haunt) the [[Pink PussyCat Club]]. He currently haunts seat seven (front row, centre). This has served only to benefit the club, as all rabble-rousers, bad tippers and general good-for-nothings promptly find themselves thrown out on their backsides even without the intervention of the club bouncer. The management has concluded that the peace and (relative) quiet is worth the loss of a single seat's fee.

[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[Category:Human characters]]
[[Category:Wizards]]
[[Category:Undead characters]]
[[Category:Making Money]]
[[de:Flett]]

Adora Belle Dearheart

2014-11-30T02:41:58Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title= Miss Dearheart
|photo=
|name= Adora Belle Dearheart
|age=
|race= [[:Category:Human characters|Human]]
|occupation= Chief Executive Officer of the Clacks network; also manager of the [[Golem Trust]]
|appearance=
|residence= A marital home on [[Scoone Avenue]] in [[Ankh-Morpork]]
|death=
|parents= [[Robert Dearheart]] (Father) [[Mrs. Dearheart]] (Mother)
|relatives= [[John Dearheart]] (Brother)
|children=
|marital status= now married to Moist von Lipwig
|books= {{GP}}, {{MM}}, {{RS}}
|cameos=
}}

'''Adora Belle von Lipwig (née Dearheart)''' is the object of [[Moist von Lipwig|Moist von Lipwig's]] affections, which she returns grudgingly during most of {{GP}}, with the exception of the end; in {{MM}} they are a couple and, now she has found the time, are married. As is obvious from Moist's nickname for her, "Spike", she isn't that adorable, nor is she a 'dearheart', yet Moist has fallen in love with her. The nickname given by her late brother [[John Dearheart]] is more honest and straightforward: "Killer". Apparently he meant this affectionately. The only other characters who use this nickname (and these not to her face) are the members of [[The Smoking Gnu|The Smoking Gnu]].

She works for the [[Golem Trust]], and often makes sure that their well-being is being taken care of, as well as their rights. Adora Belle speaks fluent Ancient Golem and is able to understand and communicate with most of her charges, although at times must call in an expert such as [[Flead|Professor Flead]]. At the time of {{RS}}, the golems are now organised and numerous enough to be able to do most of the organising for themselves, and do not need her as much. She has therefore accepted the position of chief manager of the Clacks Grand Trunk: evidently Vetinari chose not to nationalise it, but rather to pass it back to the Dearheart family to manage on behalf of the city. It is likely to be her salary that enables the newly weds to buy into the most upmarket street in Ankh.

She mostly wears heels and dresses which are tight, severe and ostensibly modest. She also smokes like a chimney. Her whereabouts can be determined by asking the tobacconists, or simply finding a huge cloud of cigarette smoke and heading toward the middle of it. Efforts to dissuade her from smoking are generally futile and any long time without a cigarette is likely to put her in quite a bad and, for the people around her, dangerous mood. The only Discworld resident as yet known to have succeeded in stopping her from smoking is the [[Librarian]], who does not put up with that kind of thing around books.

Adora's appearance, demeanour and, especially, cloud of tobacco smoke suggest to some that she may be an avatar of the goddess [[Anoia]] (and [[Lela]] before her.) This would put Moist in an odd relationship with both the goddess and her worldly manifestation, although he was, himself, the avatar of [[Fedecks]], messenger of the gods...

She has no fear (people who ''know'' they are in the right always have no fear), a sarcastic sense of humour and will speak frankly and candidly to the Patrician himself. [[Vetinari]] appears to appreciate this character trait, to the point where he will affably bait her just to provoke a response (in much the same way that a man might use a long stick, poked through the cage bars, to gently prod a tiger so as to be able to assess the results from a position of safety).

She has even resisted arrest from, and attempted to assault, Sergeant [[Detritus]] of the Watch by trying to stab his foot with her heel. It is uncertain as to whether lack of fear, or sheer incandescent rage, was dominant at the time, but it earnt her a broken heel (of her shoe), a twisted ankle and a night in the cells. Moist von Lipwig recalls an event when she put a stiletto (heel) through a man's foot while smoking after she lost her temper.

[[Category:Discworld characters|Dearheart, Adora Belle]]
[[Category:Supporting characters|Dearheart, Adora Belle]]
[[Category:Human characters|Dearheart, Adora Belle]]
[[de:Adora Belle Liebherz]]

Adora Belle Dearheart

2014-11-30T02:41:37Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title= Miss Dearheart
|photo=
|name= Adora Belle Dearheart
|age=
|race= [[:Category:Human characters|Human]]
|occupation= Chief Executive Officer of the Clacks network; also manager of the [[Golem Trust]]
|appearance=
|residence= A marital home on [[Scoone Avenue]] in [[Ankh-Morpork]]
|death=
|parents= [[Robert Dearheart]] (Father) [[Mrs. Dearheart]] (Mother)
|relatives= [[John Dearheart]] (Brother)
|children=
|marital status= now married to Moist von Lipwig
|books= {{GP}}, {{MM}}, {{RS}}
|cameos=
}}

'''Adora Belle von Lipwig (née Dearheart)''' is the object of [[Moist von Lipwig|Moist von Lipwig's]] affections, which she returns grudgingly during most of {{GP}}, with the exception of the end; in {{MM}} they are a couple and, now she has found the time, are married. As is obvious from Moist's nickname for her, "Spike", she isn't that adorable, nor is she a 'dearheart', yet Moist has fallen in love with her. The nickname given by her late brother [[John Dearheart]] is more honest and straightforward: "Killer". Apparently he meant this affectionately. The only other characters who use this nickname (and these not to her face) are the members of [[The Smoking Gnu|The Smoking Gnu]].

She works for the [[Golem Trust]], and often makes sure that their well-being is being taken care of, as well as their rights. Adora Belle speaks fluent Ancient Golem and is able to understand and communicate with most of her charges, although at times must call in an expert such as [[Flead|Professor Flead]] At the time of {{RS}}, the golems are now organised and numerous enough to be able to do most of the organising for themselves, and do not need her as much. She has therefore accepted the position of chief manager of the Clacks Grand Trunk: evidently Vetinari chose not to nationalise it, but rather to pass it back to the Dearheart family to manage on behalf of the city. It is likely to be her salary that enables the newly weds to buy into the most upmarket street in Ankh.

She mostly wears heels and dresses which are tight, severe and ostensibly modest. She also smokes like a chimney. Her whereabouts can be determined by asking the tobacconists, or simply finding a huge cloud of cigarette smoke and heading toward the middle of it. Efforts to dissuade her from smoking are generally futile and any long time without a cigarette is likely to put her in quite a bad and, for the people around her, dangerous mood. The only Discworld resident as yet known to have succeeded in stopping her from smoking is the [[Librarian]], who does not put up with that kind of thing around books.

Adora's appearance, demeanour and, especially, cloud of tobacco smoke suggest to some that she may be an avatar of the goddess [[Anoia]] (and [[Lela]] before her.) This would put Moist in an odd relationship with both the goddess and her worldly manifestation, although he was, himself, the avatar of [[Fedecks]], messenger of the gods...

She has no fear (people who ''know'' they are in the right always have no fear), a sarcastic sense of humour and will speak frankly and candidly to the Patrician himself. [[Vetinari]] appears to appreciate this character trait, to the point where he will affably bait her just to provoke a response (in much the same way that a man might use a long stick, poked through the cage bars, to gently prod a tiger so as to be able to assess the results from a position of safety).

She has even resisted arrest from, and attempted to assault, Sergeant [[Detritus]] of the Watch by trying to stab his foot with her heel. It is uncertain as to whether lack of fear, or sheer incandescent rage, was dominant at the time, but it earnt her a broken heel (of her shoe), a twisted ankle and a night in the cells. Moist von Lipwig recalls an event when she put a stiletto (heel) through a man's foot while smoking after she lost her temper.

[[Category:Discworld characters|Dearheart, Adora Belle]]
[[Category:Supporting characters|Dearheart, Adora Belle]]
[[Category:Human characters|Dearheart, Adora Belle]]
[[de:Adora Belle Liebherz]]

Adora Belle Dearheart

2014-11-30T02:37:45Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title= Miss Dearheart
|photo=
|name= Adora Belle Dearheart
|age=
|race= [[:Category:Human characters|Human]]
|occupation= Chief Executive Officer of the Clacks network; also manager of the [[Golem Trust]]
|appearance=
|residence= A marital home on [[Scoone Avenue]] in [[Ankh-Morpork]]
|death=
|parents= [[Robert Dearheart]] (Father) [[Mrs. Dearheart]] (Mother)
|relatives= [[John Dearheart]] (Brother)
|children=
|marital status= now married to Moist von Lipwig
|books= {{GP}}, {{MM}}, {{RS}}
|cameos=
}}

'''Adora Belle von Lipwig (née Dearheart)''' is the object of [[Moist von Lipwig|Moist von Lipwig's]] affections, which she returns grudgingly during most of {{GP}}, with the exception of the end; in {{MM}} they are a couple and, now she has found the time, are married. As is obvious from Moist's nickname for her, "Spike", she isn't that adorable, nor is she a 'dearheart', yet Moist has fallen in love with her. The nickname given by her late brother [[John Dearheart]] is more honest and straightforward: "Killer". Apparently he meant this affectionately. The only other characters who use this nickname (and these not to her face) are the members of [[The Smoking Gnu|The Smoking Gnu]].

She works for the [[Golem Trust]], and often makes sure that their well-being is being taken care of, as well as their rights. At the time of {{RS}}, the golems are now organised and numerous enough to be able to do most of the organising for themselves, and do not need her as much. She has therefore accepted the position of chief manager of the Clacks Grand Trunk: evidently Vetinari chose not to nationalise it, but rather to pass it back to the Dearheart family to manage on behalf of the city. It is likely to be her salary that enables the newly weds to buy into the most upmarket street in Ankh.

She mostly wears heels and dresses which are tight, severe and ostensibly modest. She also smokes like a chimney. Her whereabouts can be determined by asking the tobacconists, or simply finding a huge cloud of cigarette smoke and heading toward the middle of it. Efforts to dissuade her from smoking are generally futile and any long time without a cigarette is likely to put her in quite a bad and, for the people around her, dangerous mood. The only Discworld resident as yet known to have succeeded in stopping her from smoking is the [[Librarian]], who does not put up with that kind of thing around books.

Adora's appearance, demeanour and, especially, cloud of tobacco smoke suggest to some that she may be an avatar of the goddess [[Anoia]] (and [[Lela]] before her.) This would put Moist in an odd relationship with both the goddess and her worldly manifestation, although he was, himself, the avatar of [[Fedecks]], messenger of the gods...

She has no fear (people who ''know'' they are in the right always have no fear), a sarcastic sense of humour and will speak frankly and candidly to the Patrician himself. [[Vetinari]] appears to appreciate this character trait, to the point where he will affably bait her just to provoke a response (in much the same way that a man might use a long stick, poked through the cage bars, to gently prod a tiger so as to be able to assess the results from a position of safety).

She has even resisted arrest from, and attempted to assault, Sergeant [[Detritus]] of the Watch by trying to stab his foot with her heel. It is uncertain as to whether lack of fear, or sheer incandescent rage, was dominant at the time, but it earnt her a broken heel (of her shoe), a twisted ankle and a night in the cells. Moist von Lipwig recalls an event when she put a stiletto (heel) through a man's foot while smoking after she lost her temper.

[[Category:Discworld characters|Dearheart, Adora Belle]]
[[Category:Supporting characters|Dearheart, Adora Belle]]
[[Category:Human characters|Dearheart, Adora Belle]]
[[de:Adora Belle Liebherz]]

Why Men Get Under Your Feet

2014-11-30T02:35:34Z

RedReplicant:

A self-help book and basic gender polemic for women. [[Adora Belle Dearheart]] read a copy and then passed it on to [[Gladys]]. The exact content is unknown, but it did impress upon Gladys the impression that a friendly pat on the shoulder was ''Very Nearly Inappropriate Touching''. Of course, as golem, Gladys has been swayed by everything from the self-help column to the ladies' advice magazine, so perhaps not much can be said for the book's persuasive capabilities...

== Annotation ==
There is a whole shelf of [[Roundworld]] referents for this sort of book, possibly beginning with {{wp|Jilly_Cooper|Jilly Cooper's}} manifesto ''Superwoman'', a late 1970's guide to how a woman might have it all - home, career, income - without deferring to men. There are also suspicious attitudinal similarities to {{wp|Germaine_Greer|Germaine Greer's}} feminist polemic ''The Female Eunuch'', which is far more militant and calls for a severance with past attitudes of female deference and service to men.

[[Category:Discworld culture]]
[[Category:Discworld publications|Why Men Get Under Your Feet]]
[[de:Warum Männer dir ins Gehege kommen]]

Sacharissa Cripslock

2014-11-30T02:30:01Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title=Sacharissa Cripslock
|photo=scoopmine.jpg|Sacharissa Cripslock, as drawn by [[User:darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name=Sacharissa Cripslock
|age=Twenty-something
|race=Human
|occupation=Journalist
|appearance=Buxom, attractive young lady
|residence=[[Ankh-Morpork]]
|death=
|parents=Mr Cripslock, engraver
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status= married, spouse unknown
|books={{TT}}
|cameos={{GP}} {{MM}} {{ISWM}}
}}

The Discworld's very own [[wikipedia:Lois Lane|Lois Lane]], '''Sacharissa Cripslock''' is the granddaughter of the [[Engravers' Guild|engraver]] formerly employed by [[William de Worde]] to make copies of his newsletter. She confronts him angrily when he starts printing his newsletter with [[Gunilla Goodmountain]], threatening her grandfather's livelihood.

She is described as eclectically attractive insofar as facial features are concerned: various aspects of her face would have had differing appeal over the centuries and went in and out of fashion. However, certain bodily features never go out of style and she is quite well-endowed in that respect.

Sacharissa strives for Respectability – however she suffers from misplaced assumptions on what exactly constitutes Respectability. She takes most of her cues from previous centuries, and believes that correct mannerisms are an adequate substitute for good manners. Either way it is a difficult task for one with her figure, which she tries to conceal with old-fashioned dresses (to no avail).

She ends up becoming a reporter with the new ''[[Ankh-Morpork Times]]'', where she shows considerable talent as a journalist with a nose for news and a knack of creating snappy headlines. Unlike most citizens of [[Ankh-Morpork]], she does not wield a pen like a carving knife, and has a firm grasp on the idea of punctuation. In addition, thanks to her physical qualities, various young men from all walks of life tend to come to her with various titbits which she can put into the paper.

In {{GP}}, she wears a wedding ring: it is more than likely that she married William, who was quite taken with her in {{TT}}, eventually getting up the courage to ask her to lunch... before the hungry press intervened! Despite being married, she still refers to herself as ''Miss'', which [[Moist von Lipwig]] surmises upon first meeting her means that she has Views. In {{RS}}, a footnote on page 123 explicitly refers to "Mr de Worde and wife". However, the reference does not elaborate as to ''whom''. The lack of emphasis upon a romance between William and Sacharissa may reflect on their own reluctance to publicize their private lives (perhaps with good cause in William's case!). Or, it may just be another example of Pratchett's relaxed attitude towards the traditional narrative, in which the main characters' romance would certainly take center stage. Pratchett characters frequently marry; far less frequently is a Big Deal made over the nuptials, provided a dragon doesn't show up.

==External links==
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discworld_characters#Sacharissa_Cripslock Sacharissa Cripslock] on Wikipedia

[[Category:Discworld characters|Cripslock,Sacharissa]]
[[Category:Human characters|Cripslock,Sacharissa]]
[[Category:Serial characters|Cripslock,Sacharissa]]
[[de:Sacharissa Kratzgut]]

Sacharissa Cripslock

2014-11-30T02:29:38Z

RedReplicant:

Sacharissa Cripslock

2014-11-30T02:29:21Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title=Sacharissa Cripslock
|photo=scoopmine.jpg|Sacharissa Cripslock, as drawn by [[User:darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name=Sacharissa Cripslock
|age=Twenty-something
|race=Human
|occupation=Journalist
|appearance=Buxom, attractive young lady
|residence=[[Ankh-Morpork]]
|death=
|parents=Mr Cripslock, engraver
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status= married, spouse unknown
|books={{TT}}
|cameos={{GP}} {{MM}} {{ISWM}}
}}

The Discworld's very own [[wikipedia:Lois Lane|Lois Lane]], '''Sacharissa Cripslock''' is the granddaughter of the [[Engravers' Guild|engraver]] formerly employed by [[William de Worde]] to make copies of his newsletter. She confronts him angrily when he starts printing his newsletter with [[Gunilla Goodmountain]], threatening her grandfather's livelihood.

She is described as eclectically attractive insofar as facial features are concerned: various aspects of her face would have had differing appeal over the centuries and went in and out of fashion. However, certain bodily features never go out of style and she is quite well-endowed in that respect.

Sacharissa strives for Respectability – however she suffers from misplaced assumptions on what exactly constitutes Respectability. She takes most of her cues from previous centuries, and believes that correct mannerisms are an adequate substitute for good manners. Either way it is a difficult task for one with her figure, which she tries to conceal with old-fashioned dresses (to no avail).

She ends up becoming a reporter with the new ''[[Ankh-Morpork Times]]'', where she shows considerable talent as a journalist with a nose for news and a knack of creating snappy headlines. Unlike most citizens of [[Ankh-Morpork]], she does not wield a pen like a carving knife, and has a firm grasp on the idea of punctuation. In addition, thanks to her physical qualities, various young men from all walks of life tend to come to her with various titbits which she can put into the paper.

In {{GP}}, she wears a wedding ring: it is more than likely that she married William, who was quite taken with her in {{TT}} (despite his denials), eventually getting up the courage to ask her to lunch... before the hungry press intervened! Despite being married, she still refers to herself as ''Miss'', which [[Moist von Lipwig]] surmises upon first meeting her means that she has Views. In {{RS}}, a footnote on page 123 explicitly refers to "Mr de Worde and wife". However, the reference does not elaborate as to ''whom''. The lack of emphasis upon a romance between William and Sacharissa may reflect on their own reluctance to publicize their private lives (perhaps with good cause in William's case!). Or, it may just be another example of Pratchett's relaxed attitude towards the traditional narrative, in which the main characters' romance would certainly take center stage. Pratchett characters frequently marry; far less frequently is a Big Deal made over the nuptials, provided a dragon doesn't show up.

==External links==
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discworld_characters#Sacharissa_Cripslock Sacharissa Cripslock] on Wikipedia

[[Category:Discworld characters|Cripslock,Sacharissa]]
[[Category:Human characters|Cripslock,Sacharissa]]
[[Category:Serial characters|Cripslock,Sacharissa]]
[[de:Sacharissa Kratzgut]]

Sacharissa Cripslock

2014-11-30T02:29:10Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title=Sacharissa Cripslock
|photo=scoopmine.jpg|Sacharissa Cripslock, as drawn by [[User:darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name=Sacharissa Cripslock
|age=Twenty-something
|race=Human
|occupation=Journalist
|appearance=Buxom, attractive young lady
|residence=[[Ankh-Morpork]]
|death=
|parents=Mr Cripslock, engraver
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status= married, spouse unknown
|books={{TT}}
|cameos={{GP}} {{MM}} {{ISWM}}
}}

The Discworld's very own [[wikipedia:Lois Lane|Lois Lane]], '''Sacharissa Cripslock''' is the granddaughter of the [[Engravers' Guild|engraver]] formerly employed by [[William de Worde]] to make copies of his newsletter. She confronts him angrily when he starts printing his newsletter with [[Gunilla Goodmountain]], threatening her grandfather's livelihood.

She is described as eclectically attractive insofar as facial features are concerned: various aspects of her face would have had differing appeal over the centuries and went in and out of fashion. However, certain bodily features never go out of style and she is quite well-endowed in that respect.

Sacharissa strives for Respectability – however she suffers from misplaced assumptions on what exactly constitutes Respectability. She takes most of her cues from previous centuries, and believes that correct mannerisms are an adequate substitute for good manners. Either way it is a difficult task for one with her figure, which she tries to conceal with old-fashioned dresses (to no avail).

She ends up becoming a reporter with the new ''[[Ankh-Morpork Times]]'', where she shows considerable talent as a journalist with a nose for news and a knack of creating snappy headlines. Unlike most citizens of [[Ankh-Morpork]], she does not wield a pen like a carving knife, and has a firm grasp on the idea of punctuation. In addition, thanks to her physical qualities, various young men from all walks of life tend to come to her with various titbits which she can put into the paper.

In {{GP}}, she wears a wedding ring: it is more than likely that she married William, who was quite taken with her in {{TT}}(despite his denials), eventually getting up the courage to ask her to lunch... before the hungry press intervened! Despite being married, she still refers to herself as ''Miss'', which [[Moist von Lipwig]] surmises upon first meeting her means that she has Views. In {{RS}}, a footnote on page 123 explicitly refers to "Mr de Worde and wife". However, the reference does not elaborate as to ''whom''. The lack of emphasis upon a romance between William and Sacharissa may reflect on their own reluctance to publicize their private lives (perhaps with good cause in William's case!). Or, it may just be another example of Pratchett's relaxed attitude towards the traditional narrative, in which the main characters' romance would certainly take center stage. Pratchett characters frequently marry; far less frequently is a Big Deal made over the nuptials, provided a dragon doesn't show up.

==External links==
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discworld_characters#Sacharissa_Cripslock Sacharissa Cripslock] on Wikipedia

[[Category:Discworld characters|Cripslock,Sacharissa]]
[[Category:Human characters|Cripslock,Sacharissa]]
[[Category:Serial characters|Cripslock,Sacharissa]]
[[de:Sacharissa Kratzgut]]

Sacharissa Cripslock

2014-11-30T02:28:22Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title=Sacharissa Cripslock
|photo=scoopmine.jpg|Sacharissa Cripslock, as drawn by [[User:darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name=Sacharissa Cripslock
|age=Twenty-something
|race=Human
|occupation=Journalist
|appearance=Buxom, attractive young lady
|residence=[[Ankh-Morpork]]
|death=
|parents=Mr Cripslock, engraver
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status= married, spouse unknown
|books={{TT}}
|cameos={{GP}} {{MM}} {{ISWM}}
}}

The Discworld's very own [[wikipedia:Lois Lane|Lois Lane]], '''Sacharissa Cripslock''' is the granddaughter of the [[Engravers' Guild|engraver]] formerly employed by [[William de Worde]] to make copies of his newsletter. She confronts him angrily when he starts printing his newsletter with [[Gunilla Goodmountain]], threatening her grandfather's livelihood.

She is described as eclectically attractive insofar as facial features are concerned: various aspects of her face would have had differing appeal over the centuries and went in and out of fashion. However, certain bodily features never go out of style and she is quite well-endowed in that respect.

Sacharissa strives for Respectability – however she suffers from misplaced assumptions on what exactly constitutes Respectability. She takes most of her cues from previous centuries, and believes that correct mannerisms are an adequate substitute for good manners. Either way it is a difficult task for one with her figure, which she tries to conceal with old-fashioned dresses (to no avail).

She ends up becoming a reporter with the new ''[[Ankh-Morpork Times]]'', where she shows considerable talent as a journalist with a nose for news and a knack of creating snappy headlines. Unlike most citizens of [[Ankh-Morpork]], she does not wield a pen like a carving knife, and has a firm grasp on the idea of punctuation. In addition, thanks to her physical qualities, various young men from all walks of life tend to come to her with various titbits which she can put into the paper.

In {{GP}}, she wears a wedding ring: it is more than likely that she married William, who was quite taken with her, despite his denials, in {{TT}}, eventually getting up the courage to ask her to lunch... before the hungry press intervenes! Despite being married, she still refers to herself as ''Miss'', which [[Moist von Lipwig]] surmises upon first meeting her means that she has Views. In {{RS}}, a footnote on page 123 explicitly refers to "Mr de Worde and wife". However, the reference does not elaborate as to ''whom''. The lack of emphasis upon a romance between William and Sacharissa may reflect on their own reluctance to publicize their private lives (perhaps with good cause in William's case!). Or, it may just be another example of Pratchett's relaxed attitude towards the traditional narrative, in which the main characters' romance would certainly take center stage. Pratchett characters frequently marry; far less frequently is a Big Deal made over the nuptials, provided a dragon doesn't show up.

==External links==
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discworld_characters#Sacharissa_Cripslock Sacharissa Cripslock] on Wikipedia

[[Category:Discworld characters|Cripslock,Sacharissa]]
[[Category:Human characters|Cripslock,Sacharissa]]
[[Category:Serial characters|Cripslock,Sacharissa]]
[[de:Sacharissa Kratzgut]]

Keli

2014-11-30T02:19:28Z

RedReplicant: /* Annotation */

{{Character Data
|title= Princess Keli
|photo=
|name= Princess Keli
|age= over 40
|race= Human

|occupation= Princess
|appearance=

|residence= [[Sto Lat]]

|death=
|parents= [[King Olerve the Bastard]] (d)
|relatives= [[Duke of Sto Helit]] (d)
|children=
|marital status=

|books= {{M}}
|cameos={{SM}}, {{GP}}, {{RS}}.
}}

'''Princess Keli''' appears mainly in the book ''[[Book:Mort|Mort]]''. She is about sixteen years old when she becomes the Queen of [[Sto Lat]] after her father, the King, is killed by her uncle.

[[Mort]], who is [[Death|Death's]] apprentice, falls in love with her when he first sees her, party because Keli appears to be one of those rare mortals who can see ''him''. This may be a natural talent in her, or it may be that Mort's own interest made him more visible, in the same way that Death's interest in Mort gave his apprentice the ability to see and recognize Death. Mort's infatuation with Keli causes him to spare her life a short time later on his first solo mission. Instead of taking Keli's soul, Mort "reaps" the assassin, whose soul he never interacts with, and who seems to drop altogether out of the story.

This deed has grave consequences. Even though Keli is alive, nobody seems to notice her. The reality in which Keli is dead is slowly taking over again. And Mort is fighting against time, with the help of [[Ysabell]] and the young wizard [[Igneous Cutwell|Cutwell]].

In the end, Death, impressed by their stubborness, changes reality for them; Keli remains Queen of Sto Lat. Or, to be more specific, ''Her Supreme Majesty, Queen Kelirehenna I, Lord of Sto Lat, Protector of the Eight Protectorates and Empress of the Long Thin Debated Piece Hubwards of Sto Kerrig''.

Although people of the [[Sto Plains]] like to think of themselves as having the most civilized history, Keli's distant ancestor had in fact been a barbarian raider who led a tribe and conquered the area now known as Sto Lat.

Queen Keli is also referenced in {{SM}} and {{GP}}, but makes no personal appearance.

It is interesting to note that while Keli was 16 years old when she first became queen in {{M}}, twenty four years later in {{GP}} the mayor of Sto Lat, [[Joe Camels]], refers to the queen as a 'nice girl' when she should be about 40. Perhaps she has just aged well. Or possibly this is some after affect of her life ending and then restarting, and she has remained ageless for a long time...

She is still alive and going strong at the time of {{RS}}, where she attends the ceremonial opening of the railway to the Sto states and takes a ride on the train.

==Annotation==
Ref. Mayor Camels referring to her as a "nice girl". He might have some of the laid-back egalitarianism of Scouser John Lennon, who wrote in a Beatles song
''Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl, but she doesn't have a lot to say...'' (''Her Majesty'' on LP '''''Abbey Road''''')
Or else the down-to-earth streak of the Australian politician who innocently placed a guiding hand on the lower Royal back and afterwards referred to her as ''a hell of a nice girl''.

In the Discworld audiobook series, Nigel Planer reads Keli's lines in a "Klatchian" accent, and pronounces her name "Kay'-lee." Nevertheless, she is described in the novel as having slightly too many freckles to be conventionally attractive, not a trait noted among Klatchians. The freckles and complexion may have been inherited from one of her ancestors, a marauding tribal leader, who from his description seems to have been analogous to Roundworld Eastern Europeans, possibly [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huns Huns] or [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hungarian_people Magyars]. Her accent may be inspired by her other great ancestor, Queen [[Ezeriel]], the Discworld version of Cleopatra.

Later reader Steven Briggs, however, reads Keli as the anglophone "Kelly."

:
[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[Category:Human characters]]
[[de:Keli]]

Agnes Nitt

2014-11-30T02:07:12Z

RedReplicant:

'''Agnes Nitt''' is the "maiden" in the coven of [[Lancre]].
{{Character Data
|title= Agnes Nitt
|photo=agnesmine.jpg|Agnes and Perdita by [[user:darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name= Agnes Nitt
|age=
|race= [[Humans|Human]]
|occupation= [[Witches|Witch]]
|appearance= Short, fat, rosy complexion, good hair, great personality
|residence= [[Mad Stoat]], [[Lancre]]
|death=
|parents= [[Terminal Nitt|Terminal Thomas]]
|relatives= Aunt May in Creel Springs
|children=
|marital status= Maiden
|books= {{LL}}, {{M!!!}}, {{CJ}}
}}
= Biography =
Agnes is the daughter of [[Terminal Nitt|Terminal Thomas 'Threepenny' Nitt]]. As a child, Agnes had always blamed "the other little girl" for the wrong things that she did. This may have been the beginning of Agnes' [[Imaginary Friend|second persona]] ''Perdita''.

At the age of 17 Agnes was a member of an amateur coven led by [[Lucy Tockley]]. Lucy renamed herself Diamanda to sound more occult, and this inspired Agnes to create the alias of Perdita. At the time Agnes was short with a naturally rosy complexion, a great personality, and good hair. At some point in her upbringing Agnes was trained in singing by [[Nanny Ogg]]. Agnes eventually traveled to [[Ankh-Morpork]] to find a more exciting life. She was able to support herself for a time singing in taverns and eventually auditioned to join the [[Opera House|Ankh Morpork Opera]]. Her career at the Opera House consisted largely of 'ghosting' roles for a less competent singer, [[Christine]]. Agnes eventually left the Opera House at the conclusion of the events in [[Book:Maskerade|Maskerade]].

Agnes currently lives in the cottage formerly occupied by [[Goodie Whemper]] and [[Magrat Garlick]], in [[Mad Stoat]].

=Perdita X. Dream=
The pseudonym 'Perdita X Dream' which Agnes created during her time in Lucy Tockley's coven, and used as her stage name while an Opera singer, eventually developed into a full blown [[Imaginary Friend|second personality]]. During the events recorded in {{LL}}, Agnes plays only a small part and Perdita is not yet much beyond an alternative personality; in {{M!!!}} she shows much more independence, but still seems like a unusually well-formed 'voice on the shoulder', thinking naughty thoughts. It is only in {{CJ}} that Agnes and Perdita appear as fully separate personalities.

The Agnes/Perdita split, like Agnes's singing voice, may be an artifact of Agnes's latent magical abilities. Agnes describes Perdita as the voice inside her which wants to do all the fun things that she wouldn't normally do. Agnes gave this inner personality a separate name. The reason for this, at least according to those who are inclined to casual cruelty, is that: "Inside a fat girl there is a thin girl and a lot of [[Chocolate|chocolate]]. Agnes's thin girl was Perdita." Agnes regards Perdita as vain, selfish and vicious. Perdita regards Agnes as a "fat, pathetic, weak-willed blob that people would walk all over were she not so steep". Perdita does not seem to ever have made any attempts to leave Agnes's body however, and merely remains inside and dreams ridiculous daydreams.

While it seems to be a one-time mention, it is said in {{M!!!}} that the Lancrastian natives refer to Perdita as 'Perditax,' combining the first name and middle initial. Granny even does this at one point, though she is corrected by Nanny Ogg, who feels as if people ought to call themselves what they want.

According to Agnes, the 'X' stands for "someone who has a cool and exciting middle initial," something she sticks to throughout the events of {{M!!!}}, though when she auditions she thinks that she is "probably stuck with the 'Nitt.'"

=Characteristics=
==Hair==
Agnes has lots of hair. Good, big hair in fact. Well not so much big hair as enormous hair, as if it is trying to counterbalance her body. It is glossy, never splits, and is extremely well-behaved, except for a tendency to eat combs.

==Clothing==
Easily swayed by her more imaginative friends, young Agnes wore black, had a black hat with a veil and even a black hanky (considered by [[Nanny Ogg]] to be "good for hiding the bogeys"), giving the effect of a small, low-riding thunderstorm. Even after she parted ways with Diamanda and the others, Perdita retained her liking for black, considering it "cool". Agnes however, now "thought that black was not a good colour for the circumferentially-challenged, and that 'cool' was a dumb word used only by people whose brains couldn't fit a spoon".

Despite her love of black, she still had two shelves of soft, cuddly toys at home with her mother.

==Singing Ability==
Agnes, unlike most of her friends in the coven, did actually possess some magical talent, and as so often happens, magical talent given no exercise finds an outlet in other forms of expression. In Agnes's case it focused on her incredible singing voice, giving her the somewhat disquieting ability to reproduce practically any pitch and even to sing in harmony with herself ("Perdita had rather a reedy voice, but insisted on joining in").

=As a Witch=
After realising that without [[Magrat Garlick|Magrat]] available to be bossed around and make tea for them, what with her being Queen and all, Nanny Ogg and [[Granny Weatherwax]] decided that Agnes would be an ideal choice for a new third witch. Unfortunately for them, however, Agnes had just left for the [[Ankh-Morpork]] [[Opera House]] to pursue her unnatural talent. After the events of {{M!!!}} transpired, Agnes began to realise that one has little choice when magic calls, and also that when choosing between someone with amazing talent, a great personality and good hair, and someone who merely looks stunning, the world doesn't hesitate either.

Agnes fills the role of the maiden in the Lancre coven. She is [[Imaginary Friend|almost unique]] among the witches in having a second personality - this granted her a partial immunity to mind influence by vampires during the events of {{CJ}}.

==Also See==
* [[wikipedia:Witches (Discworld)#Agnes Nitt|Agnes Nitt's Entry]] in Wikipedia.

==Annotation==
Alone of the Discworld main characters, Agnes' girth is lampshaded at every possible interval, particularly in {{M!!!}}, in which she is never seen by another person without her fatness being remarked upon, often at length. Two possibilities present themselves: one, that Pratchett simply finds obesity an easy target and thus one never to be missed (insert fat joke here!) - possible; or two, that by repetition of tiresome and obvious jibes and antagonistic behavior by secondary characters, the reader may eventually find themself as irritated by the comments as Agnes herself, and may thus become more sympathetic.

[[Category:Discworld characters|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[Category:Leading characters|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[Category:Serial characters|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[Category:Human characters|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[Category:Witches|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[de:Agnes Nitt]]

Jonathan Teatime

2014-11-30T01:48:13Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title= Mr. Teatime
|photo= Teatimemine.jpg|Mr. Teatime by [[User:Darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name= Jonathan Teatime
|age= In his 20s or early 30s
|race= [[Humans|Human]]
|occupation= Assassin
|appearance= Boyish, smiling, curly hair. One eye has a pin-hole-sized pupil, the other is glass
|residence= [[Assassins' Guild]]
|death= At the end of {{H}}, which would be around [[1988 UC]]
|parents= Not named; died in a tragic accident, though the accident may have been bringing Jonathan into the world.
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status=
|books= {{H}}
|cameos=
}}

'''Mr. Jonathan Teatime''', (pronounced "''Teh-ah-time-eh'',") was a graduate assassin from [[Ankh-Morpork]], who was hired by the [[Auditors]] to inhume the [[Hogfather]].

He was taken into the Ankh-Morpork [[Assassins' Guild]] as a child because the administration took pity on him after his parents suffered a tragic accident. Lord Downey once reflected that the Guild should have looked into this.

He is boyishly handsome, with curly hair and a ready smile, but these features are ruined by his eyes. One is glass and the other is off-white, with a tiny, pinhole-sized pupil. He is, undoubtedly, a genius, but also sociopathic to an astonishing degree. His mind has been compared at times to both a corkscrew and a shattered mirror (i.e. something brilliant, sharp, and dazzling, but also fundamentally and irrevocably broken). His main problem seems to be that he sees things differently from other people, in that he sees other people as things. This gets him into a spot of trouble early on, as his assassinations often include the brutal murders of not just the target, but also their family, their servants, and very often their pets, all of which is, while not against Guild policy, definitely against the philosophy of the Guild, which is elegance and style in everything.

However, when the [[Auditors]] need someone to assassinate the [[Hogfather]], Mr. Teatime is just the man for the job. When questioned, he reveals to his superior, [[Lord Downey]], that he devised methods to inhume, not only the Hogfather, but also the [[Tooth Fairy]] and the [[Soul Cake Duck]] (Discworld's version of the Easter Bunny), among others (including [[Death]]) in his spare time. In the instance of the Hogfather it was while waiting up one Hogswatch eve when most kids are listening for sleigh bells. He commissions the help of a cadre of criminals, ranging from big [[Banjo Lilywhite]] to the locksmith Mr.[[Brown]], and sets about putting his ingenious plan into action, which inevitably pits him against [[Susan Sto Helit]] and her grandfather, Death.

Most of the time, Mr. Teatime seems a pleasant, albeit odd, young man. He only seems to get irritated when people mispronounce his name. However, he possesses physical abilities which defy physics, and has been known to perform feats such as stabbing through all layers of clothing but stopping before hitting flesh, holding a blade just touching the eye, flipping on thin air, and killing so fast he appears to be a blur, all of which he will do without any notice or provocation. Rumours among his associates (somewhat confirmed in the non-canonical GURPS Discworld sourcebook) imply that the glass eye is in fact a scrying crystal, which might go some way towards explaining his abilities but also means that he had implanted Discworld-magic ''into his own eye socket''. At the end of the events of {{H}}, the glass eye in-question ended-up in the possession of young [[Gawain Gaiter]], who'd found it lying in the Gaiter's nursery-fireplace after Teatime's body had been removed and mistook it for a marble, with which he would never lose a game.

Supporting the premise that Jonathan's parents were killed by Teatime himself is what Susan Sto Helit says about his childhood: "''You were the little boy who didn't know the difference between throwing a stone at a cat and setting a cat on fire''". She continued to say: "''You were the little boy that looked up little dolls dresses''"; he denied that remark.

The Assassins' Guild lists him as having vanished without trace since the events in Hogfather, though they have named a "''Teatime Prize''" in his honour, which is given annually to the student who devises the most creative hypothetical inhumation.

In the Sky One adaption of Hogfather, Mr. Teatime is played by Marc Warren.

==Annotation==
The name "Teatime" is very likely a tribute to fellow fantasy writer Douglas' Adams work, [[wikipedia:The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul|The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul]]. The central premise of the novel is that the gods were created by the human compulsion to personify forces. They never completely die, but rather become more and more powerless as fewer people believe in them, and eventually end up as a sort of divine vagrant. In Adams' novel the gods are quite easily taken advantage of by unscrupulous humans.

[[Category:Discworld characters|Teatime,Jonathan]]
[[Category:Leading characters|Teatime,Jonathan]]
[[de:Jonathan Kaffeetrinken]]

Jonathan Teatime

2014-11-30T01:47:43Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title= Mr. Teatime
|photo= Teatimemine.jpg|Mr. Teatime by [[User:Darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name= Jonathan Teatime
|age= In his 20s or early 30s
|race= [[Humans|Human]]
|occupation= Assassin
|appearance= Boyish, smiling, curly hair. One eye has a pin-hole-sized pupil, the other is glass
|residence= [[Assassins' Guild]]
|death= At the end of {{H}}, which would be around [[1988 UC]]
|parents= Not named; died in a tragic accident, though the accident may have been bringing Jonathan into the world.
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status=
|books= {{H}}
|cameos=
}}

'''Mr. Jonathan Teatime''', (pronounced "''Teh-ah-time-eh'',") was a graduate assassin from [[Ankh-Morpork]], who was hired by the [[Auditors]] to inhume the [[Hogfather]].

He was taken into the Ankh-Morpork [[Assassins' Guild]] as a child because the administration took pity on him after his parents suffered a tragic accident. Lord Downey once reflected that the Guild should have looked into this.

He is boyishly handsome, with curly hair and a ready smile, but these features are ruined by his eyes. One is glass and the other is off-white, with a tiny, pinhole-sized pupil. He is, undoubtedly, a genius, but also sociopathic to an astonishing degree. His mind has been compared at times to both a corkscrew and a shattered mirror (i.e. something brilliant, sharp, and dazzling, but also fundamentally and irrevocably broken). His main problem seems to be that he sees things differently from other people, in that he sees other people as things. This gets him into a spot of trouble early on, as his assassinations often include the brutal murders of not just the target, but also their family, their servants, and very often their pets, all of which is, while not against Guild policy, definitely against the philosophy of the Guild, which is elegance and style in everything.

However, when the [[Auditors]] need someone to assassinate the [[Hogfather]], Mr. Teatime is just the man for the job. When questioned, he reveals to his superior, [[Lord Downey]], that he devised methods to inhume, not only the Hogfather, but also the [[Tooth Fairy]] and the [[Soul Cake Duck]] (Discworld's version of the Easter Bunny), among others (including [[Death]]) in his spare time. In the instance of the Hogfather it was while waiting up one Hogswatch eve when most kids are listening for sleigh bells. He commissions the help of a cadre of criminals, ranging from big [[Banjo Lilywhite]] to the locksmith Mr.[[Brown]], and sets about putting his ingenious plan into action, which inevitably pits him against [[Susan Sto Helit]] and her grandfather, Death.

Most of the time, Mr. Teatime seems a pleasant, albeit odd, young man. He only seems to get irritated when people mispronounce his name. However, he possesses physical abilities which defy physics, and has been known to perform feats such as stabbing through all layers of clothing but stopping before hitting flesh, holding a blade just touching the eye, flipping on thin air, and killing so fast he appears to be a blur, all of which he will do without any notice or provocation. Rumours among his associates (somewhat confirmed in the non-canonical GURPS Discworld sourcebook) imply that the glass eye is in fact a scrying crystal, which might go some way towards explaining his abilities but also means that he had implanted Discworld-magic ''into his own eye socket''. At the end of the events of {{H}}, the glass eye in-question ended-up in the possession of young [[Gawain Gaiter]], who'd found it lying in the Gaiter's nursery-fireplace after Teatime's body had been removed and mistook it for a marble, with which he would never lose a game.

Supporting the premise that Jonathan's parents were killed by Teatime himself is what Susan Sto Helit says about his childhood: "''You were the little boy who didn't know the difference between throwing a stone at a cat and setting a cat on fire''". She continued to say: "''You were the little boy that looked up little dolls dresses''"; he denied that remark.

The Assassins' Guild lists him as having vanished without trace since the events in Hogfather, though they have named a "''Teatime Prize''" in his honour, which is given annually to the student who devises the most creative hypothetical inhumation.

In the Sky One adaption of Hogfather, Mr. Teatime is played by Marc Warren.

==Annotation==
The name "Teatime" is very likely a tribute to fellow fantasy writer Douglass' Adams work, [[wikipedia:The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul|The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul]]. The central premise of the novel is that the gods were created by the human compulsion to personify forces. They never completely die, but rather become more and more powerless as fewer people believe in them, and eventually end up as a sort of divine vagrant. In Adams' novel the gods are quite easily taken advantage of by unscrupulous humans.

[[Category:Discworld characters|Teatime,Jonathan]]
[[Category:Leading characters|Teatime,Jonathan]]
[[de:Jonathan Kaffeetrinken]]

Ezeriel

2014-07-17T16:13:09Z

RedReplicant:

Ezeriel, Queen of [[Klatch]], apparently had a squint, but this did not prevent her from out-lasting fourteen husbands. And they were only the official ones. She apparently lived two hundred or so years before the events described in {{M!!!}}. An ancestor of the Sto Lat queen [[Keli]], as noted in {{M}}, Ezeriel was crossed in love and ended her life by (intentionally!) seating herself upon an asp. She was also famous for bathing in asses' milk, and thus, it is speculated by [[Igneous Cutwell]], smelled rather like yoghurt.

[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[de:Ezeriel]]

Ezeriel

2014-07-17T16:12:45Z

RedReplicant:

Ezeriel, Queen of [[Klatch]], apparently had a squint, but this did not prevent her from out-lasting fourteen husbands. And they were only the official ones. She apparently lived two hundred or so years before the events described in {{M!!!}}. An ancestor of the Sto Lat queen [[Keli]], Ezeriel was crossed in love and ended her life by (intentionally!) seating herself upon an asp. She was also famous for bathing in asses' milk, and thus, it is speculated by [[Igneous Cutwell]], smelled rather like yoghurt.

[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[de:Ezeriel]]

Keli

2014-07-17T16:11:13Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title= Princess Keli
|photo=
|name= Princess Keli
|age= over 40
|race= Human

|occupation= Princess
|appearance=

|residence= [[Sto Lat]]

|death=
|parents= [[King Olerve the Bastard]] (d)
|relatives= [[Duke of Sto Helit]] (d)
|children=
|marital status=

|books= {{M}}
|cameos={{SM}}, {{GP}}, {{RS}}.
}}

'''Princess Keli''' appears mainly in the book ''[[Book:Mort|Mort]]''. She is about sixteen years old when she becomes the Queen of [[Sto Lat]] after her father, the King, is killed by her uncle.

[[Mort]], who is [[Death|Death's]] apprentice, falls in love with her when he first sees her, party because Keli appears to be one of those rare mortals who can see ''him''. This may be a natural talent in her, or it may be that Mort's own interest made him more visible, in the same way that Death's interest in Mort gave his apprentice the ability to see and recognize Death. Mort's infatuation with Keli causes him to spare her life a short time later on his first solo mission. Instead of taking Keli's soul, Mort "reaps" the assassin, whose soul he never interacts with, and who seems to drop altogether out of the story.

This deed has grave consequences. Even though Keli is alive, nobody seems to notice her. The reality in which Keli is dead is slowly taking over again. And Mort is fighting against time, with the help of [[Ysabell]] and the young wizard [[Igneous Cutwell|Cutwell]].

In the end, Death, impressed by their stubborness, changes reality for them; Keli remains Queen of Sto Lat. Or, to be more specific, ''Her Supreme Majesty, Queen Kelirehenna I, Lord of Sto Lat, Protector of the Eight Protectorates and Empress of the Long Thin Debated Piece Hubwards of Sto Kerrig''.

Although people of the [[Sto Plains]] like to think of themselves as having the most civilized history, Keli's distant ancestor had in fact been a barbarian raider who led a tribe and conquered the area now known as Sto Lat.

Queen Keli is also referenced in {{SM}} and {{GP}}, but makes no personal appearance.

It is interesting to note that while Keli was 16 years old when she first became queen in {{M}}, twenty four years later in {{GP}} the mayor of Sto Lat, [[Joe Camels]], refers to the queen as a 'nice girl' when she should be about 40. Perhaps she has just aged well. Or possibly this is some after affect of her life ending and then restarting, and she has remained ageless for a long time...

She is still alive and going strong at the time of {{RS}}, where she attends the ceremonial opening of the railway to the Sto states and takes a ride on the train.

==Annotation==
Ref. Mayor Camels referring to her as a "nice girl". He might have some of the laid-back egalitarianism of Scouser John Lennon, who wrote in a Beatles song
''Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl, but she doesn't have a lot to say...'' (''Her Majesty'' on LP '''''Abbey Road''''')
Or else the down-to-earth streak of the Australian politician who innocently placed a guiding hand on the lower Royal back and afterwards referred to her as ''a hell of a nice girl''.

In the Discworld audiobook series, Nigel Planer reads Keli's lines in a "Klatchian" accent, and pronounces her name "Kay'-lee." Nevertheless, she is described in the novel as having slightly too many freckles to be conventionally attractive, not a trait noted among Klatchians. The freckles and complexion may have been inherited from one of her ancestors, a marauding tribal leader, who from his description seems to have been analogous to Roundworld Eastern Europeans, possibly [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huns Huns] or [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hungarian_people Magyars]. Her accent may be inspired by her other great ancestor, Queen [[Ezeriel]], the Discworld version of Cleopatra.

:
[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[Category:Human characters]]
[[de:Keli]]

Keli

2014-07-17T16:10:50Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title= Princess Keli
|photo=
|name= Princess Keli
|age= over 40
|race= Human

|occupation= Princess
|appearance=

|residence= [[Sto Lat]]

|death=
|parents= [[King Olerve the Bastard]] (d)
|relatives= [[Duke of Sto Helit]] (d)
|children=
|marital status=

|books= {{M}}
|cameos={{SM}}, {{GP}}, {{RS}}.
}}

'''Princess Keli''' appears mainly in the book ''[[Book:Mort|Mort]]''. She is about sixteen years old when she becomes the Queen of [[Sto Lat]] after her father, the King, is killed by her uncle.

[[Mort]], who is [[Death|Death's]] apprentice, falls in love with her when he first sees her, party because Keli appears to be one of those rare mortals who can see ''him''. This may be a natural talent in her, or it may be that Mort's own interest made him more visible, in the same way that Death's interest in Mort gave his apprentice the ability to see and recognize Death. Mort's infatuation with Keli causes him to spare her life a short time later on his first solo mission. Instead of taking Keli's soul, Mort "reaps" the assassin, whose soul he never interacts with, and who seems to drop altogether out of the story.

This deed has grave consequences. Even though Keli is alive, nobody seems to notice her. The reality in which Keli is dead is slowly taking over again. And Mort is fighting against time, with the help of [[Ysabell]] and the young wizard [[Igneous Cutwell|Cutwell]].

In the end, Death, impressed by their stubborness, changes reality for them; Keli remains Queen of Sto Lat. Or, to be more specific, ''Her Supreme Majesty, Queen Kelirehenna I, Lord of Sto Lat, Protector of the Eight Protectorates and Empress of the Long Thin Debated Piece Hubwards of Sto Kerrig''.

Although people of the [[Sto Plains]] like to think of themselves as having the most civilized history, Keli's distant ancestor had in fact been a barbarian raider who led a tribe and conquered the area now known as Sto Lat.

Queen Keli is also referenced in {{SM}} and {{GP}}, but makes no personal appearance.

It is interesting to note that while Keli was 16 years old when she first became queen in {{M}}, twenty four years later in {{GP}} the mayor of Sto Lat, [[Joe Camels]], refers to the queen as a 'nice girl' when she should be about 40. Perhaps she has just aged well. Or possibly this is some after affect of her life ending and then restarting, and she has remained ageless for a long time...

She is still alive and going strong at the time of {{RS}}, where she attends the ceremonial opening of the railway to the Sto states and takes a ride on the train.

==Annotation==
Ref. Mayor Camels referring to her as a "nice girl". He might have some of the laid-back egalitarianism of Scouser John Lennon, who wrote in a Beatles song
''Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl, but she doesn't have a lot to say...'' (''Her Majesty'' on LP '''''Abbey Road''''')
Or else the down-to-earth streak of the Australian politician who innocently placed a guiding hand on the lower Royal back and afterwards referred to her as ''a hell of a nice girl''.

In the Discworld audiobook series, Nigel Planer reads Keli's lines in a "Klatchian" accent, and pronounces her name "Kay'-lee." Nevertheless, she is described in the novel as having slightly too many freckles to be conventionally attractive, not a trait noted among Klatchians. The freckles and complexion may have been inherited from one of her ancestora, a marauding tribal leader, who from his description seems to have been analogous to Roundworld Eastern Europeans, possibly [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huns Huns] or [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hungarian_people Magyars]. Her accent may be inspired by her other great ancestor, Queen [[Ezeriel]], the Discworld version of Cleopatra.

:
[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[Category:Human characters]]
[[de:Keli]]

Keli

2014-07-17T16:09:40Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title= Princess Keli
|photo=
|name= Princess Keli
|age= over 40
|race= Human

|occupation= Princess
|appearance=

|residence= [[Sto Lat]]

|death=
|parents= [[King Olerve the Bastard]] (d)
|relatives= [[Duke of Sto Helit]] (d)
|children=
|marital status=

|books= {{M}}
|cameos={{SM}}, {{GP}}, {{RS}}.
}}

'''Princess Keli''' appears mainly in the book ''[[Book:Mort|Mort]]''. She is about sixteen years old when she becomes the Queen of [[Sto Lat]] after her father, the King, is killed by her uncle.

[[Mort]], who is [[Death|Death's]] apprentice, falls in love with her when he first sees her, party because Keli appears to be one of those rare mortals who can see ''him''. This may be a natural talent in her, or it may be that Mort's own interest made him more visible, in the same way that Death's interest in Mort gave his apprentice the ability to see and recognize Death. Mort's infatuation with Keli causes him to spare her life a short time later on his first solo mission. Instead of taking Keli's soul, Mort "reaps" the assassin, whose soul he never interacts with, and who seems to drop altogether out of the story.

This deed has grave consequences. Even though Keli is alive, nobody seems to notice her. The reality in which Keli is dead is slowly taking over again. And Mort is fighting against time, with the help of [[Ysabell]] and the young wizard [[Igneous Cutwell|Cutwell]].

In the end, Death, impressed by their stubborness, changes reality for them; Keli remains Queen of Sto Lat. Or, to be more specific, ''Her Supreme Majesty, Queen Kelirehenna I, Lord of Sto Lat, Protector of the Eight Protectorates and Empress of the Long Thin Debated Piece Hubwards of Sto Kerrig''.

Although people of the [[Sto Plains]] like to think of themselves as having the most civilized history, Keli's distant ancestor had in fact been a barbarian raider who led a tribe and conquered the area now known as Sto Lat.

Queen Keli is also referenced in {{SM}} and {{GP}}, but makes no personal appearance.

It is interesting to note that while Keli was 16 years old when she first became queen in {{M}}, twenty four years later in {{GP}} the mayor of Sto Lat, [[Joe Camels]], refers to the queen as a 'nice girl' when she should be about 40. Perhaps she has just aged well. Or possibly this is some after affect of her life ending and then restarting, and she has remained ageless for a long time...

She is still alive and going strong at the time of {{RS}}, where she attends the ceremonial opening of the railway to the Sto states and takes a ride on the train.

==Annotation==
Ref. Mayor Camels referring to her as a "nice girl". He might have some of the laid-back egalitarianism of Scouser John Lennon, who wrote in a Beatles song
''Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl, but she doesn't have a lot to say...'' (''Her Majesty'' on LP '''''Abbey Road''''')
Or else the down-to-earth streak of the Australian politician who innocently placed a guiding hand on the lower Royal back and afterwards referred to her as ''a hell of a nice girl''.

In the Discworld audiobook series, Nigel Planer reads Keli's lines in a "Klatchian" accent, and pronounces her name "Kay'-lee." Nevertheless, she is described in the novel as having slightly too many freckles to be conventionally attractive, not a trait noted among Klatchians. Pratchett in fact refers to her as being descended from a tribal leader, who from his description seems to have been analogous to Roundworld Eastern Europeans, possibly [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huns Huns] or [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hungarian_people Magyars]. Her accent may be inspired by her other great ancestor, Queen [[Ezeriel]], the Discworld version of Cleopatra.

:
[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[Category:Human characters]]
[[de:Keli]]

Alberto Malich

2014-07-17T15:57:07Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title= Albert
|photo=albertmine.jpg|Albert By [[user:darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name= Alberto Malich
|age=
|race= [[:Category:Human characters|Human]]
|occupation= [[Death]]'s servant
|appearance=
|residence= [[Death's Domain]]
|death=
|parents=
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status=
|books= {{M}} {{RM}} {{SM}} {{H}} {{TLC}}
|cameos={{TLH}}
}}

'''Albert''' (full name: Alberto Malich the Wise) is [[Death]]'s servant. He has been living in [[Death's Domain]] for the last two thousand years, but because time does not progress there, he has not aged. Alberto Malich was once a seriously powerful [[wizard]] and founded [[Unseen University]] in [[Ankh-Morpork]]. It is not stated whether he used the title [[Archchancellor]]. When he realised that Death was on his tail, and not having got go to where he was without making extremely powerful enemies ''on the other side'', he decided that he was better off as an undying servant than a dead anything. His first idea was to perform a magic spell which would grant him an endless life. His idea, so [[Mort]] learned from [[Igneous Cutwell]], was to perform the [[Rite of AshkEnte]] backwards, to keep Death away. Instead the spell propelled Albert directly to Death's front door. Albert decided to stay there when he found out that his life-timer was almost empty with only a few days left (91 days, 3 hours, 5 minutes according to {{M}}, though more recent developments have reduced his remaining life to something less than a minute). "Life is a habit which is hard to break."

Despite this his life is still filling up a book of life, or rather a whole shelf in [[The Stack]].

Surprisingly, even Death needs a servant, not for himself, of course, but for his estate and granddaughter [[Susan Sto Helit]]. Without Albert, the stables would be full of horse droppings and Susan would never have had the opportunity to try Albert's famous fried eggs.

When [[Death]] was covering for the [[Hogfather]], Albert joined in the festivities too, dressing as a vile sort of elf. This brings to him recollections of his childhood, where you got sausages and black puddings in your sock, if you were lucky. But there was always a pink sugar piglet in the toe. Alas, the naughty ones got a sack of bones.

Albert was originally a powerful mage, who authored the book, "The Book of Magic of Alberto Malich the Mage," which was thereafter purchased (and bookmarked with bacon, or, for the more disturbing pages, clamped shut) by [[Igneous Cutwell]]. As the founder of [[UU]], Albert uses up some of his precious remaining life to return there in {{M}}, scaring the wits out of most of the [[faculty]]. The faculty had perhaps good reason to find themselves in fear of Albert, given the hijinks that had taken place regarding his statue, which stood in the main hall and was the subject of many an undergraduate prank.

As a character, Albert is a filthy grinning old man who likes nothing more than making artery-clanging breakfasts and smoking his noisome rollups.

Albert is pretty damn' crusty, and is not easily impressed by anything - especially Mort. And he despairs of Death ever interfering in the affairs of humans and ''something good coming of it''. Witness his attempts to suppress the urges of his master in {{H}}, for example.

== Annotations ==

Albert's full name, "Alberto Malich", puns on Albertus Magnus ("the Magician", Saint Thomas Aquinas' teacher) and "lich" (or a wizard with a necromantically extended lifespan). [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albertus_Magnus Albertus Magnus] makes a particularly apt referent for Albert, as he was a widely celebrated and notable alchemist, philosopher, and chemist, whose experiments provided the foundation for later scientific advances. After his death, his great learning and mastery of a diverse field of subjects led to Magnus' postmortem title "Doctor Universalis" and a wide variety of legends sprang up in regards to his magical exploits.

Terry is also [http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/reaper-man.html#p10695 on record] as having selected Albert's name due in part to its somewhat antiquated ring.

[[Category:Discworld characters|Malich, Alberto]]
[[category:Serial characters|Malich, Alberto]]
[[category:Human characters|Malich, Alberto]]
[[Category:Supporting characters|Malich, Alberto]]
[[Category:Wizards|Malich, Alberto]]
[[de:Alberto Malich]]

Alberto Malich

2014-07-17T15:56:35Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title= Albert
|photo=albertmine.jpg|Albert By [[user:darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name= Alberto Malich
|age=
|race= [[:Category:Human characters|Human]]
|occupation= [[Death]]'s servant
|appearance=
|residence= [[Death's Domain]]
|death=
|parents=
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status=
|books= {{M}} {{RM}} {{SM}} {{H}} {{TLC}}
|cameos={{TLH}}
}}

'''Albert''' (full name: Alberto Malich the Wise) is [[Death]]'s servant. He has been living in [[Death's Domain]] for the last two thousand years, but because time does not progress there, he has not aged. Alberto Malich was once a seriously powerful [[wizard]] and founded [[Unseen University]] in [[Ankh-Morpork]]. It is not stated whether he used the title [[Archchancellor]]. When he realised that Death was on his tail, and not having got go to where he was without making extremely powerful enemies ''on the other side'', he decided that he was better off as an undying servant than a dead anything. His first idea was to perform a magic spell which would grant him an endless life. His idea, so [[Mort]] learned from [[Igneous Cutwell]], was to perform the [[Rite of AshkEnte]] backwards, to keep Death away. Instead the spell propelled Albert directly to Death's front door. Albert decided to stay there when he found out that his life-timer was almost empty with only a few days left (91 days, 3 hours, 5 minutes according to {{M}}, though more recent developments have reduced his remaining life to something less than a minute). "Life is a habit which is hard to break."

Despite this his life is still filling up a book of life, or rather a whole shelf in [[The Stack]].

Surprisingly, even Death needs a servant, not for himself, of course, but for his estate and granddaughter [[Susan Sto Helit]]. Without Albert, the stables would be full of horse droppings and Susan would never have had the opportunity to try Albert's famous fried eggs.

When [[Death]] was covering for the [[Hogfather]], Albert joined in the festivities too, dressing as a vile sort of elf. This brings to him recollections of his childhood, where you got sausages and black puddings in your sock, if you were lucky. But there was always a pink sugar piglet in the toe. Alas, the naughty ones got a sack of bones.

Albert was originally a powerful mage, who authored the book, "The Book of Magic of Alberto Malich the Mage," which was thereafter purchased (and bookmarked with bacon, or, for the more disturbing pages, clamped shut) by [[Igneous Cutwell]]. Having founded [[UU]], he uses up some of his precious remaining life to return there in {{M}} scaring the wits out of most of the [[faculty]]. The faculty had perhaps good reason to find themselves in fear of Albert, given the hijinks that had taken place regarding his statue, which stood in the main hall and was the subject of many an undergraduate prank.

As a character, Albert is a filthy grinning old man who likes nothing more than making artery-clanging breakfasts and smoking his noisome rollups.

Albert is pretty damn' crusty, and is not easily impressed by anything - especially Mort. And he despairs of Death ever interfering in the affairs of humans and ''something good coming of it''. Witness his attempts to suppress the urges of his master in {{H}}, for example.

== Annotations ==

Albert's full name, "Alberto Malich", puns on Albertus Magnus ("the Magician", Saint Thomas Aquinas' teacher) and "lich" (or a wizard with a necromantically extended lifespan). [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albertus_Magnus Albertus Magnus] makes a particularly apt referent for Albert, as he was a widely celebrated and notable alchemist, philosopher, and chemist, whose experiments provided the foundation for later scientific advances. After his death, his great learning and mastery of a diverse field of subjects led to Magnus' postmortem title "Doctor Universalis" and a wide variety of legends sprang up in regards to his magical exploits.

Terry is also [http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/reaper-man.html#p10695 on record] as having selected Albert's name due in part to its somewhat antiquated ring.

[[Category:Discworld characters|Malich, Alberto]]
[[category:Serial characters|Malich, Alberto]]
[[category:Human characters|Malich, Alberto]]
[[Category:Supporting characters|Malich, Alberto]]
[[Category:Wizards|Malich, Alberto]]
[[de:Alberto Malich]]

Alberto Malich

2014-07-17T15:54:46Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title= Albert
|photo=albertmine.jpg|Albert By [[user:darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name= Alberto Malich
|age=
|race= [[:Category:Human characters|Human]]
|occupation= [[Death]]'s servant
|appearance=
|residence= [[Death's Domain]]
|death=
|parents=
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status=
|books= {{M}} {{RM}} {{SM}} {{H}} {{TLC}}
|cameos={{TLH}}
}}

'''Albert''' (full name: Alberto Malich the Wise) is [[Death]]'s servant. He has been living in [[Death's Domain]] for the last two thousand years, but because time does not progress there, he has not aged. Alberto Malich was once a seriously powerful [[wizard]] and founded [[Unseen University]] in [[Ankh-Morpork]]. It is not stated whether he used the title [[Archchancellor]]. When he realised that Death was on his tail, and not having got go to where he was without making extremely powerful enemies ''on the other side'', he decided that he was better off as an undying servant than a dead anything. His first idea was to perform a magic spell which would grant him an endless life. His idea, so [[Mort]] learned from [[Igneous Cutwell]], was to perform the [[Rite of AshkEnte]] backwards, to keep Death away. Instead the spell propelled Albert directly to Death's front door. Albert decided to stay there when he found out that his life-timer was almost empty with only a few days left (91 days, 3 hours, 5 minutes according to {{M}}, though more recent developments have reduced his remaining life to something less than a minute). "Life is a habit which is hard to break."

Despite this his life is still filling up a book of life, or rather a whole shelf in [[The Stack]].

Surprisingly, even Death needs a servant, not for himself, of course, but for his estate and granddaughter [[Susan Sto Helit]]. Without Albert, the stables would be full of horse droppings and Susan would never have had the opportunity to try Albert's famous fried eggs.

When [[Death]] was covering for the [[Hogfather]], Albert joined in the festivities too, dressing as a vile sort of elf. This brings to him recollections of his childhood, where you got sausages and black puddings in your sock, if you were lucky. But there was always a pink sugar piglet in the toe. Alas, the naughty ones got a sack of bones.

Albert was originally a powerful mage, who authored the book, "The Book of Magic of Alberto Malich the Mage," which was thereafter purchased (and bookmarked with bacon, or, for the more disturbing pages, clamped shut) by [[Igneous Cutwell]]. He has also even returned to the UU (in {{M}}), of which he was the founder, scaring the wits out of most of the [[faculty]]. The faculty had perhaps good reason to find themselves in fear of Albert, given the hijinks that had taken place regarding his statue.

As a character, Albert is a filthy grinning old man who likes nothing more than making artery-clanging breakfasts and smoking his noisome rollups.

Albert is pretty damn' crusty, and is not easily impressed by anything - especially Mort. And he despairs of Death ever interfering in the affairs of humans and ''something good coming of it''. Witness his attempts to suppress the urges of his master in {{H}}, for example.

== Annotations ==

Albert's full name, "Alberto Malich", puns on Albertus Magnus ("the Magician", Saint Thomas Aquinas' teacher) and "lich" (or a wizard with a necromantically extended lifespan). [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albertus_Magnus Albertus Magnus] makes a particularly apt referent for Albert, as he was a widely celebrated and notable alchemist, philosopher, and chemist, whose experiments provided the foundation for later scientific advances. After his death, his great learning and mastery of a diverse field of subjects led to Magnus' postmortem title "Doctor Universalis" and a wide variety of legends sprang up in regards to his magical exploits.

Terry is also [http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/reaper-man.html#p10695 on record] as having selected Albert's name due in part to its somewhat antiquated ring.

[[Category:Discworld characters|Malich, Alberto]]
[[category:Serial characters|Malich, Alberto]]
[[category:Human characters|Malich, Alberto]]
[[Category:Supporting characters|Malich, Alberto]]
[[Category:Wizards|Malich, Alberto]]
[[de:Alberto Malich]]

Alberto Malich

2014-07-17T15:54:01Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title= Albert
|photo=albertmine.jpg|Albert By [[user:darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name= Alberto Malich
|age=
|race= [[:Category:Human characters|Human]]
|occupation= [[Death]]'s servant
|appearance=
|residence= [[Death's Domain]]
|death=
|parents=
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status=
|books= {{M}} {{RM}} {{SM}} {{H}} {{TLC}}
|cameos={{TLH}}
}}

'''Albert''' (full name: Alberto Malich the Wise) is [[Death]]'s servant. He has been living in [[Death's Domain]] for the last two thousand years, but because time does not progress there, he has not aged. Alberto Malich was once a seriously powerful [[wizard]] and founded [[Unseen University]] in [[Ankh-Morpork]]. It is not stated whether he used the title [[Archchancellor]]. When he realised that Death was on his tail, and not having got go to where he was without making extremely powerful enemies ''on the other side'', he decided that he was better off as an undying servant than a dead anything. His first idea was to perform a magic spell which would grant him an endless life. His idea, so [[Mort]] learned from [[Igneous Cutwell]], was to perform the [[Rite of AshkEnte]] backwards, to keep Death away. Instead the spell propelled Albert directly to Death's front door. Albert decided to stay there when he found out that his life-timer was almost empty with only a few days left (91 days, 3 hours, 5 minutes according to {{M}}, though more recent developments have reduced his remaining life to something less than a minute). "Life is a habit which is hard to break."

Despite this his life is still filling up a book of life, or rather a whole shelf in [[The Stack]].

Surprisingly, even Death needs a servant, not for himself, of course, but for his estate and granddaughter [[Susan Sto Helit]]. Without Albert, the stables would be full of horse droppings and Susan would never have had the opportunity to try Albert's famous fried eggs.

When [[Death]] was covering for the [[Hogfather]], Albert joined in the festivities too, dressing as a vile sort of elf. This brings to him recollections of his childhood, where you got sausages and black puddings in your sock, if you were lucky. But there was always a pink sugar piglet in the toe. Alas, the naughty ones got a sack of bones.

Albert was originally a powerful mage, who authored the book, "The Book of Magic of Alberto Malich the Mage," which was thereafter purchased (and bookmarked with bacon, or, for the more disturbing pages, clamped shut) by [[Cutwell]]. He has also even returned to the UU (in {{M}}), of which he was the founder, scaring the wits out of most of the [[faculty]]. The faculty had perhaps good reason to find themselves in fear of Albert, given the hijinks that had taken place regarding his statue.

As a character, Albert is a filthy grinning old man who likes nothing more than making artery-clanging breakfasts and smoking his noisome rollups.

Albert is pretty damn' crusty, and is not easily impressed by anything - especially Mort. And he despairs of Death ever interfering in the affairs of humans and ''something good coming of it''. Witness his attempts to suppress the urges of his master in {{H}}, for example.

== Annotations ==

Albert's full name, "Alberto Malich", puns on Albertus Magnus ("the Magician", Saint Thomas Aquinas' teacher) and "lich" (or a wizard with a necromantically extended lifespan). [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albertus_Magnus Albertus Magnus] makes a particularly apt referent for Albert, as he was a widely celebrated and notable alchemist, philosopher, and chemist, whose experiments provided the foundation for later scientific advances. After his death, his great learning and mastery of a diverse field of subjects led to Magnus' postmortem title "Doctor Universalis" and a wide variety of legends sprang up in regards to his magical exploits.

Terry is also [http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/reaper-man.html#p10695 on record] as having selected Albert's name due in part to its somewhat antiquated ring.

[[Category:Discworld characters|Malich, Alberto]]
[[category:Serial characters|Malich, Alberto]]
[[category:Human characters|Malich, Alberto]]
[[Category:Supporting characters|Malich, Alberto]]
[[Category:Wizards|Malich, Alberto]]
[[de:Alberto Malich]]

Keli

2014-07-17T15:36:56Z

RedReplicant: /* Annotation */

{{Character Data
|title= Princess Keli
|photo=
|name= Princess Keli
|age= over 40
|race= Human

|occupation= Princess
|appearance=

|residence= [[Sto Lat]]

|death=
|parents= [[King Olerve the Bastard]] (d)
|relatives= [[Duke of Sto Helit]] (d)
|children=
|marital status=

|books= {{M}}
|cameos={{SM}}, {{GP}}, {{RS}}.
}}

'''Princess Keli''' appears mainly in the book ''[[Book:Mort|Mort]]''. She is about sixteen years old when she becomes the Queen of [[Sto Lat]] after her father, the King, is killed by her uncle.

[[Mort]], who is [[Death|Death's]] apprentice, falls in love with her when he first sees her, party because Keli appears to be one of those rare mortals who can see ''him''. This may be a natural talent in her, or it may be that Mort's own interest made him more visible, in the same way that Death's interest in Mort gave his apprentice the ability to see and recognize Death. Mort's infatuation with Keli causes him to spare her life a short time later on his first solo mission. Instead of taking Keli's soul, Mort "reaps" the assassin, whose soul he never interacts with, and who seems to drop altogether out of the story.

This deed has grave consequences. Even though Keli is alive, nobody seems to notice her. The reality in which Keli is dead is slowly taking over again. And Mort is fighting against time, with the help of [[Ysabell]] and the young wizard [[Igneous Cutwell|Cutwell]].

In the end, Death, impressed by their stubborness, changes reality for them; Keli remains Queen of Sto Lat. Or, to be more specific, ''Her Supreme Majesty, Queen Kelirehenna I, Lord of Sto Lat, Protector of the Eight Protectorates and Empress of the Long Thin Debated Piece Hubwards of Sto Kerrig''.

Although people of the [[Sto Plains]] like to think of themselves as having the most civilized history, Keli's distant ancestor had in fact been a barbarian raider who led a tribe and conquered the area now known as Sto Lat.

Queen Keli is also referenced in {{SM}} and {{GP}}, but makes no personal appearance.

It is interesting to note that while Keli was 16 years old when she first became queen in {{M}}, twenty four years later in {{GP}} the mayor of Sto Lat, [[Joe Camels]], refers to the queen as a 'nice girl' when she should be about 40. Perhaps she has just aged well. Or possibly this is some after affect of her life ending and then restarting, and she has remained ageless for a long time...

She is still alive and going strong at the time of {{RS}}, where she attends the ceremonial opening of the railway to the Sto states and takes a ride on the train.

==Annotation==
Ref. Mayor Camels referring to her as a "nice girl". He might have some of the laid-back egalitarianism of Scouser John Lennon, who wrote in a Beatles song
''Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl, but she doesn't have a lot to say...'' (''Her Majesty'' on LP '''''Abbey Road''''')
Or else the down-to-earth streak of the Australian politician who innocently placed a guiding hand on the lower Royal back and afterwards referred to her as ''a hell of a nice girl''.

In the Discworld audiobook series, Nigel Planer reads Keli's lines in a "Klatchian" accent, and pronounces her name "Kay'-lee." Nevertheless, she is described in the novel as having slightly too many freckles to be conventionally attractive, not a trait noted among Klatchians. Pratchett in fact refers to her as being descended from a tribal leader, who from his description seems to have been analogous to Roundworld Eastern Europeans, possibly [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huns Huns] or [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hungarian_people Magyars].

:
[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[Category:Human characters]]
[[de:Keli]]

Keli

2014-07-17T15:36:33Z

RedReplicant: /* Annotation */

{{Character Data
|title= Princess Keli
|photo=
|name= Princess Keli
|age= over 40
|race= Human

|occupation= Princess
|appearance=

|residence= [[Sto Lat]]

|death=
|parents= [[King Olerve the Bastard]] (d)
|relatives= [[Duke of Sto Helit]] (d)
|children=
|marital status=

|books= {{M}}
|cameos={{SM}}, {{GP}}, {{RS}}.
}}

'''Princess Keli''' appears mainly in the book ''[[Book:Mort|Mort]]''. She is about sixteen years old when she becomes the Queen of [[Sto Lat]] after her father, the King, is killed by her uncle.

[[Mort]], who is [[Death|Death's]] apprentice, falls in love with her when he first sees her, party because Keli appears to be one of those rare mortals who can see ''him''. This may be a natural talent in her, or it may be that Mort's own interest made him more visible, in the same way that Death's interest in Mort gave his apprentice the ability to see and recognize Death. Mort's infatuation with Keli causes him to spare her life a short time later on his first solo mission. Instead of taking Keli's soul, Mort "reaps" the assassin, whose soul he never interacts with, and who seems to drop altogether out of the story.

This deed has grave consequences. Even though Keli is alive, nobody seems to notice her. The reality in which Keli is dead is slowly taking over again. And Mort is fighting against time, with the help of [[Ysabell]] and the young wizard [[Igneous Cutwell|Cutwell]].

In the end, Death, impressed by their stubborness, changes reality for them; Keli remains Queen of Sto Lat. Or, to be more specific, ''Her Supreme Majesty, Queen Kelirehenna I, Lord of Sto Lat, Protector of the Eight Protectorates and Empress of the Long Thin Debated Piece Hubwards of Sto Kerrig''.

Although people of the [[Sto Plains]] like to think of themselves as having the most civilized history, Keli's distant ancestor had in fact been a barbarian raider who led a tribe and conquered the area now known as Sto Lat.

Queen Keli is also referenced in {{SM}} and {{GP}}, but makes no personal appearance.

It is interesting to note that while Keli was 16 years old when she first became queen in {{M}}, twenty four years later in {{GP}} the mayor of Sto Lat, [[Joe Camels]], refers to the queen as a 'nice girl' when she should be about 40. Perhaps she has just aged well. Or possibly this is some after affect of her life ending and then restarting, and she has remained ageless for a long time...

She is still alive and going strong at the time of {{RS}}, where she attends the ceremonial opening of the railway to the Sto states and takes a ride on the train.

==Annotation==
Ref. Mayor Camels referring to her as a "nice girl". He might have some of the laid-back egalitarianism of Scouser John Lennon, who wrote in a Beatles song
''Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl, but she doesn't have a lot to say...'' (''Her Majesty'' on LP '''''Abbey Road''''')
Or else the down-to-earth streak of the Australian politician who innocently placed a guiding hand on the lower Royal back and afterwards referred to her as ''a hell of a nice girl''.

In the Discworld audiobook series, Nigel Planer reads Keli's lines in a "Klatchian" accent, and pronounces her name "Kay'-lee." Nevertheless, she is described in the novel as having slightly too many freckles to be conventionally attractive, not a trait noted among Klatchians. Pratchett in fact refers to her as being descended from a tribal leader, who from his description seems to have been analogous to Roundworld Eastern Europeans, possibly [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huns Huns] or [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hungarian_people Magyars]. Given the Sto Plains' history of interaction with Ankh-Morpork, it is unlikely that Kali is of Klatchian derivation, although she may have some relation to [[General Tacticus]], given that he fought there on at least one occasion.

:
[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[Category:Human characters]]
[[de:Keli]]

Alberto Malich

2014-07-17T12:48:47Z

RedReplicant: /* Annotations */

{{Character Data
|title= Albert
|photo=albertmine.jpg|Albert By [[user:darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name= Alberto Malich
|age=
|race= [[:Category:Human characters|Human]]
|occupation= [[Death]]'s servant
|appearance=
|residence= [[Death's Domain]]
|death=
|parents=
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status=
|books= {{M}} {{RM}} {{SM}} {{H}} {{TLC}}
|cameos={{TLH}}
}}

'''Albert''' (full name: Alberto Malich the Wise) is [[Death]]'s servant. He has been living in [[Death's Domain]] for the last two thousand years, but because time does not progress there, he has not aged. Alberto Malich was once a seriously powerful [[wizard]] and founded [[Unseen University]] in [[Ankh-Morpork]]. It is not stated whether he used the title [[Archchancellor]]. When he realised that Death was on his tail, and not having got go to where he was without making extremely powerful enemies ''on the other side'', he decided that he was better off as an undying servant than a dead anything. His first idea was to perform a magic spell which would grant him an endless life. His idea, so [[Mort]] learned from [[Igneous Cutwell]], was to perform the [[Rite of AshkEnte]] backwards, to keep Death away. Instead the spell propelled Albert directly to Death's front door. Albert decided to stay there when he found out that his life-timer was almost empty with only a few days left (91 days, 3 hours, 5 minutes according to {{M}}, though more recent developments have reduced his remaining life to something less than a minute). "Life is a habit which is hard to break."

Despite this his life is still filling up a book of life, or rather a whole shelf in [[The Stack]].

Surprisingly, even Death needs a servant, not for himself, of course, but for his estate and granddaughter [[Susan Sto Helit]]. Without Albert, the stables would be full of horse droppings and Susan would never have had the opportunity to try Albert's famous fried eggs.

When [[Death]] was covering for the [[Hogfather]], Albert joined in the festivities too, dressing as a vile sort of elf. This brings to him recollections of his childhood, where you got sausages and black puddings in your sock, if you were lucky. But there was always a pink sugar piglet in the toe. Alas, the naughty ones got a sack of bones.

He has also even returned to the UU (in {{M}}), scaring the wits out of most of the [[faculty]]. As a character, Albert is a filthy grinning old man who likes nothing more than making artery-clanging breakfasts and smoking his noisome rollups.

Albert is pretty damn' crusty, and is not easily impressed by anything - especially Mort. And he despairs of Death ever interfering in the affairs of humans and ''something good coming of it''. Witness his attempts to suppress the urges of his master in {{H}}, for example.

== Annotations ==

Albert's full name, "Alberto Malich", puns on Albertus Magnus ("the Magician", Saint Thomas Aquinas' teacher) and "lich" (or a wizard with a necromantically extended lifespan). [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albertus_Magnus Albertus Magnus] makes a particularly apt referent for Albert, as he was a widely celebrated and notable alchemist, philosopher, and chemist, whose experiments provided the foundation for later scientific advances. After his death, his great learning and mastery of a diverse field of subjects led to Magnus' postmortem title "Doctor Universalis" and a wide variety of legends sprang up in regards to his magical exploits.

Terry is also [http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/reaper-man.html#p10695 on record] as having selected Albert's name due in part to its somewhat antiquated ring.

[[Category:Discworld characters|Malich, Alberto]]
[[category:Serial characters|Malich, Alberto]]
[[category:Human characters|Malich, Alberto]]
[[Category:Supporting characters|Malich, Alberto]]
[[Category:Wizards|Malich, Alberto]]
[[de:Alberto Malich]]

Keli

2014-07-17T12:26:46Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title= Princess Keli
|photo=
|name= Princess Keli
|age= over 40
|race= Human

|occupation= Princess
|appearance=

|residence= [[Sto Lat]]

|death=
|parents= [[King Olerve the Bastard]] (d)
|relatives= [[Duke of Sto Helit]] (d)
|children=
|marital status=

|books= {{M}}
|cameos={{SM}}, {{GP}}, {{RS}}.
}}

'''Princess Keli''' appears mainly in the book ''[[Book:Mort|Mort]]''. She is about sixteen years old when she becomes the Queen of [[Sto Lat]] after her father, the King, is killed by her uncle.

[[Mort]], who is [[Death|Death's]] apprentice, falls in love with her when he first sees her, party because Keli appears to be one of those rare mortals who can see ''him''. This may be a natural talent in her, or it may be that Mort's own interest made him more visible, in the same way that Death's interest in Mort gave his apprentice the ability to see and recognize Death. Mort's infatuation with Keli causes him to spare her life a short time later on his first solo mission. Instead of taking Keli's soul, Mort "reaps" the assassin, whose soul he never interacts with, and who seems to drop altogether out of the story.

This deed has grave consequences. Even though Keli is alive, nobody seems to notice her. The reality in which Keli is dead is slowly taking over again. And Mort is fighting against time, with the help of [[Ysabell]] and the young wizard [[Igneous Cutwell|Cutwell]].

In the end, Death, impressed by their stubborness, changes reality for them; Keli remains Queen of Sto Lat. Or, to be more specific, ''Her Supreme Majesty, Queen Kelirehenna I, Lord of Sto Lat, Protector of the Eight Protectorates and Empress of the Long Thin Debated Piece Hubwards of Sto Kerrig''.

Although people of the [[Sto Plains]] like to think of themselves as having the most civilized history, Keli's distant ancestor had in fact been a barbarian raider who led a tribe and conquered the area now known as Sto Lat.

Queen Keli is also referenced in {{SM}} and {{GP}}, but makes no personal appearance.

It is interesting to note that while Keli was 16 years old when she first became queen in {{M}}, twenty four years later in {{GP}} the mayor of Sto Lat, [[Joe Camels]], refers to the queen as a 'nice girl' when she should be about 40. Perhaps she has just aged well. Or possibly this is some after affect of her life ending and then restarting, and she has remained ageless for a long time...

She is still alive and going strong at the time of {{RS}}, where she attends the ceremonial opening of the railway to the Sto states and takes a ride on the train.

==Annotation==
Ref. Mayor Camels referring to her as a "nice girl". He might have some of the laid-back egalitarianism of Scouser John Lennon, who wrote in a Beatles song
''Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl, but she doesn't have a lot to say...'' (''Her Majesty'' on LP '''''Abbey Road''''')
Or else the down-to-earth streak of the Australian politician who innocently placed a guiding hand on the lower Royal back and afterwards referred to her as ''a hell of a nice girl''.

In the Discworld audiobook series, Nigel Planer reads Keli's lines in a "Klatchian" accent, and pronounces her name "Kay'-lee." Nevertheless, she is described in the novel as having slightly too many freckles to be conventionally attractive, not a trait noted among Klatchians. Given the Sto Plains' history of interaction with Ankh-Morpork, it is unlikely that Kali is of Klatchian derivation, although she may have some relation to [[General Tacticus]], given that he fought there on at least one occasion.

:
[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[Category:Human characters]]
[[de:Keli]]

Keli

2014-07-17T12:18:05Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title= Princess Keli
|photo=
|name= Princess Keli
|age= over 40
|race= Human

|occupation= Princess
|appearance=

|residence= [[Sto Lat]]

|death=
|parents= [[King Olerve the Bastard]] (d)
|relatives= [[Duke of Sto Helit]] (d)
|children=
|marital status=

|books= {{M}}
|cameos={{SM}}, {{GP}}, {{RS}}.
}}

'''Princess Keli''' appears mainly in the book ''[[Book:Mort|Mort]]''. She is about sixteen years old when she becomes the Queen of [[Sto Lat]] after her father, the King, is killed by her uncle.

[[Mort]], who is [[Death|Death's]] apprentice, falls in love with her when he first sees her, party because Keli appears to be one of those rare mortals who can see ''him''. This may be a natural talent in her, or it may be that Mort's own interest made him more visible, in the same way that Death's interest in Mort gave his apprentice the ability to see and recognize Death. Mort's infatuation with Keli causes him to spare her life a short time later on his first solo mission. Instead of taking Keli's soul, Mort "reaps" the assassin, whose soul he never interacts with, and who seems to drop altogether out of the story.

This deed has grave consequences. Even though Keli is alive, nobody seems to notice her. The reality in which Keli is dead is slowly taking over again. And Mort is fighting against time, with the help of [[Ysabell]] and the young wizard [[Igneous Cutwell|Cutwell]].

In the end, Death, impressed by their stubborness, changes reality for them; Keli remains Queen of Sto Lat. Or, to be more specific, ''Her Supreme Majesty, Queen Kelirehenna I, Lord of Sto Lat, Protector of the Eight Protectorates and Empress of the Long Thin Debated Piece Hubwards of Sto Kerrig''.

Although people of the [[Sto Plains]] like to think of themselves as having the most civilized history, Keli's distant ancestor had in fact been a barbarian raider who led a tribe and conquered the area now known as Sto Lat.

Queen Keli is also referenced in {{SM}} and {{GP}}, but makes no personal appearance.

It is interesting to note that while Keli was 16 years old when she first became queen in {{M}}, twenty four years later in {{GP}} the mayor of Sto Lat, [[Joe Camels]], refers to the queen as a 'nice girl' when she should be about 40. Perhaps she has just aged well. Or possibly this is some after affect of her life ending and then restarting, and she has remained ageless for a long time...

She is still alive and going strong at the time of {{RS}}, where she attends the ceremonial opening of the railway to the Sto states and takes a ride on the train.

==Annotation==
Ref. Mayor Camels referring to her as a "nice girl". He might have some of the laid-back egalitarianism of Scouser John Lennon, who wrote in a Beatles song
''Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl, but she doesn't have a lot to say...'' (''Her Majesty'' on LP '''''Abbey Road''''')
Or else the down-to-earth streak of the Australian politician who innocently placed a guiding hand on the lower Royal back and afterwards referred to her as ''a hell of a nice girl''.

:
[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[Category:Human characters]]
[[de:Keli]]

Juliet Stollop

2014-06-06T03:18:45Z

RedReplicant: /* Annotation */

{{Character Data
|title= Juliet Stollop
|photo=
|name= Juliet Stollop / Jools / Jewels
|age=
|race= Human
|occupation= [[Night Kitchen]] Cook/Model
|appearance= Incandescently Beautiful, slim
|residence= [[Dolly Sisters]], [[Ankh-Morpork]]
|death=
|parents= Mr. Stollop (father)
|relatives= Billy (brother), [[Algernon Stollop|Algernon]] (brother), ''3rd brother'' (name unknown)
|children=
|marital status=
|books= {{UA}}
|cameos=
}}

Juliet Stollop is a [[Shatta|fashion model]] and [[Night Kitchen|cook]] who is a childhood friend and neighbour of [[Glenda Sugarbean]]. She is a ''[[Dolly Sisters]]'' football team supporter and has, since the events of {{UA}}, fallen in love with [[Trevor Likely]], a ''[[Dimwell]] Old Pals'' supporter.

She is considered so beautiful that the UU wizards stop bickering when she pushes the dessert trolley into the room... and not because food has arrived. They suddenly drift off into their minds, feeling the urge to write poems. Her most casual of movements are filled with grace. She was even the unwitting subject of the painting ''[[Beauty Arising from the Pease Pudding Cart Attended by Cherubs Carrying Hot Dogs and Pies]]'' (the artist was inspired by her during a football match).

Juliet's apparent Achilles' heel is her "sweet, empty head". She's not the brightest girl, and her elocution leaves a lot to be desired. Glenda worried that if she got new ideas, "there was such a lot of room in there for them to bounce around and do damage". This initial impression is later called into question both by Juliet's occasional incisive comment, which Glenda finds particularly unnerving, and Juliet's creative thinking during the friends' pursuit of [[Nutt]]. In fact, the more Glenda allows Juliet to make her own decisions, the more Juliet steps up to the challenge.

She was discovered by [[Sharn|Madame Sharn]], putting on a false beard and modelling [[Micromail]] for Shatta. Introducing herself to some after-show guests as 'Jools' (breaking the ice with a call of "Wotcher!"), this was transformed by gossip into her stage name, 'Jewels'. She only modelled once during the book, but was so resplendent that everyone clamoured to find out more about her. It is implied that she will continue with her modelling career, although she had to sort everything out with Trev Likely first.

==Annotation==
There are obvious parallels between Juliet and the character of Eliza in [[Wikipedia:Pygmalion (Play)|Pygmalion]], on which the musical ''My Fair Lady'' was based. Eliza is the subject of an attempt to pass off a flower girl as a duchess by, at first, simply teaching her to speak like one, and Juliet is the subject of an attempt (which was rather more successful) to pass off a short and slightly thin kitchen girl as a mystery dwarf by adding a beard. Early on in {{UA}}, while on a horse-bus ride, Glenda comments to Juliet that it would be advantageous for her to learn how to speak more eloquently: "You don't have to sound like--" and the bus driver interrupts with, "my fare, lady?"

Her name and nicknames also have double references. There is the obvious Juliet "star-crossed lovers" reference, but also, interestingly, the description of her rising into the air, shining gold, points to Jools also being a reference, in this case to the Jules Rimet Trophy for the World Cup (the figure appearing on the Roundworld cup is Nike, the Greek goddess of victory.)

More obviously, Juliet is also the Discworld's first "WAG". "WAG" is a term used in the British press to describe the ultra-glamorous, but usually dim & vacuous, "'''W'''ives '''A'''nd '''G'''irlfriends" of celebrity footballers (eg Victoria Beckham). A fashion model (e.g. Juliet) dating a famous footballer (e.g. Trev) is a stereotypical WAG relationship.

[[Category:Human characters]]
[[Category:Discworld characters|Stollop, Juliet]]
[[de:Juliet Stollop]]

Juliet Stollop

2014-06-06T03:16:18Z

RedReplicant: /* Annotation */

{{Character Data
|title= Juliet Stollop
|photo=
|name= Juliet Stollop / Jools / Jewels
|age=
|race= Human
|occupation= [[Night Kitchen]] Cook/Model
|appearance= Incandescently Beautiful, slim
|residence= [[Dolly Sisters]], [[Ankh-Morpork]]
|death=
|parents= Mr. Stollop (father)
|relatives= Billy (brother), [[Algernon Stollop|Algernon]] (brother), ''3rd brother'' (name unknown)
|children=
|marital status=
|books= {{UA}}
|cameos=
}}

Juliet Stollop is a [[Shatta|fashion model]] and [[Night Kitchen|cook]] who is a childhood friend and neighbour of [[Glenda Sugarbean]]. She is a ''[[Dolly Sisters]]'' football team supporter and has, since the events of {{UA}}, fallen in love with [[Trevor Likely]], a ''[[Dimwell]] Old Pals'' supporter.

She is considered so beautiful that the UU wizards stop bickering when she pushes the dessert trolley into the room... and not because food has arrived. They suddenly drift off into their minds, feeling the urge to write poems. Her most casual of movements are filled with grace. She was even the unwitting subject of the painting ''[[Beauty Arising from the Pease Pudding Cart Attended by Cherubs Carrying Hot Dogs and Pies]]'' (the artist was inspired by her during a football match).

Juliet's apparent Achilles' heel is her "sweet, empty head". She's not the brightest girl, and her elocution leaves a lot to be desired. Glenda worried that if she got new ideas, "there was such a lot of room in there for them to bounce around and do damage". This initial impression is later called into question both by Juliet's occasional incisive comment, which Glenda finds particularly unnerving, and Juliet's creative thinking during the friends' pursuit of [[Nutt]]. In fact, the more Glenda allows Juliet to make her own decisions, the more Juliet steps up to the challenge.

She was discovered by [[Sharn|Madame Sharn]], putting on a false beard and modelling [[Micromail]] for Shatta. Introducing herself to some after-show guests as 'Jools' (breaking the ice with a call of "Wotcher!"), this was transformed by gossip into her stage name, 'Jewels'. She only modelled once during the book, but was so resplendent that everyone clamoured to find out more about her. It is implied that she will continue with her modelling career, although she had to sort everything out with Trev Likely first.

==Annotation==
There are obvious parallels between Juliet and the character of Eliza in [[Wikipedia:Pygmalion (Play)|Pygmalion]], on which the musical ''My Fair Lady'' was based. Eliza is the subject of an attempt to pass off a flower girl as a duchess by, at first, simply teaching her to speak like one, and Juliet is the subject of an attempt (which was rather more successful) to pass off a short and slightly thin kitchen girl as a mystery dwarf by adding a beard. Early on in {{UA}}, while on a horse-bus ride, Glenda comments to Juliet that it would be advantageous for her to learn how to speak more eloquently: "You don't have to sound like--" and the bus driver interrupts with, "my fare, lady?"

Her name and nicknames also have double references. There is the obvious Juliet "star-crossed lovers" reference, but also, interestingly, the description of her rising into the air, shining gold, points to Jools also being a reference, in this case to the Jules Rimet Trophy for the World Cup (the original is supposed to be Nike, the Greek goddess of victory.)

More obviously, Juliet is also the Discworld's first "WAG". "WAG" is a term used in the British press to describe the ultra-glamorous, but usually dim & vacuous, "'''W'''ives '''A'''nd '''G'''irlfriends" of celebrity footballers (eg Victoria Beckham). A fashion model (e.g. Juliet) dating a famous footballer (e.g. Trev) is a stereotypical WAG relationship.

[[Category:Human characters]]
[[Category:Discworld characters|Stollop, Juliet]]
[[de:Juliet Stollop]]

Juliet Stollop

2014-06-06T03:15:50Z

RedReplicant: /* Annotation */

{{Character Data
|title= Juliet Stollop
|photo=
|name= Juliet Stollop / Jools / Jewels
|age=
|race= Human
|occupation= [[Night Kitchen]] Cook/Model
|appearance= Incandescently Beautiful, slim
|residence= [[Dolly Sisters]], [[Ankh-Morpork]]
|death=
|parents= Mr. Stollop (father)
|relatives= Billy (brother), [[Algernon Stollop|Algernon]] (brother), ''3rd brother'' (name unknown)
|children=
|marital status=
|books= {{UA}}
|cameos=
}}

Juliet Stollop is a [[Shatta|fashion model]] and [[Night Kitchen|cook]] who is a childhood friend and neighbour of [[Glenda Sugarbean]]. She is a ''[[Dolly Sisters]]'' football team supporter and has, since the events of {{UA}}, fallen in love with [[Trevor Likely]], a ''[[Dimwell]] Old Pals'' supporter.

She is considered so beautiful that the UU wizards stop bickering when she pushes the dessert trolley into the room... and not because food has arrived. They suddenly drift off into their minds, feeling the urge to write poems. Her most casual of movements are filled with grace. She was even the unwitting subject of the painting ''[[Beauty Arising from the Pease Pudding Cart Attended by Cherubs Carrying Hot Dogs and Pies]]'' (the artist was inspired by her during a football match).

Juliet's apparent Achilles' heel is her "sweet, empty head". She's not the brightest girl, and her elocution leaves a lot to be desired. Glenda worried that if she got new ideas, "there was such a lot of room in there for them to bounce around and do damage". This initial impression is later called into question both by Juliet's occasional incisive comment, which Glenda finds particularly unnerving, and Juliet's creative thinking during the friends' pursuit of [[Nutt]]. In fact, the more Glenda allows Juliet to make her own decisions, the more Juliet steps up to the challenge.

She was discovered by [[Sharn|Madame Sharn]], putting on a false beard and modelling [[Micromail]] for Shatta. Introducing herself to some after-show guests as 'Jools' (breaking the ice with a call of "Wotcher!"), this was transformed by gossip into her stage name, 'Jewels'. She only modelled once during the book, but was so resplendent that everyone clamoured to find out more about her. It is implied that she will continue with her modelling career, although she had to sort everything out with Trev Likely first.

==Annotation==
There are obvious parallels between Juliet and the character of Eliza in [[Wikipedia:Pygmalion (Play)|Pygmalion]], on which the musical ''My Fair Lady'' was based. Eliza is the subject of an attempt to pass off a flower girl as a duchess by, at first, simply teaching her to speak like one, and Juliet is the subject of an attempt (which was rather more successful) to pass off a short and slightly thin kitchen girl as a mystery dwarf by adding a beard. Early on in {{UA}}, while on a horse-bus ride, Glenda comments to Juliet that it would be advantageous for her to learn how to speak more eloquently: "You don't have to sound like--" and the bus driver interrupts with, "my fare, lady?"

Her name and nicknames also have double references. There is the obvious Juliet "star-crossed lovers" reference, but also, interestingly, the description of her rising into the air, shining gold, points to Jools also being a reference, in this case to the Jules Rimet Trophy for the World Cup (the original is supposed to be Nike, the Greek goddess of victory.)

More obviously, Juliet is also the Discworld's first "WAG". "WAG" is a term used in the British press to describe the ultra-glamorous, but usually dim & vacuous, "'''W'''ives '''A'''nd '''G'''irlfriends" of celebrity footballers (eg Victoria Beckham). A fashion model (e.g. Juliet) dating a famous footballer (e.g. Trev) is a stereotypical WAG relationship.

[[Category:Human characters]]
[[Category:Discworld characters|Stollop, Juliet]]
[[de:Juliet Stollop]]

Dean

2014-06-06T03:13:19Z

RedReplicant: /* Notes */

{{Character Data
|title=Dean
|photo=deanmine.jpg|The Current Dean by [[user:darkplush| Kit Cox]]
|name=Henry, last name unknown.
|age=
|race=Human
|occupation=Dean
|appearance=
|residence=[[Unseen University]]
|death=
|parents=
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status=
|books=
|cameos=
}}
The '''Dean''' was a senior [[wizard]] at the [[Unseen University]] who was a member of the [[Faculty]]. He first appeared in {{MP}}. Shortly before the events of {{UA}}, he moves away to become Archchancellor of [[Brazeneck College]] in [[Pseudopolis]]. From this point onwards he is instead known as '''Archchancellor Henry'''.

Another wizard who holds the post of Dean appeared in {{S}}. He is clearly stated to be a separate character to the Dean who appears in subsequent books. In {{IT}}, the Dean tells Ridcully "''I don't know anything about that [unpleasantness with the Sourcerer]. I wasn't Dean at the time''." Similarly, it is not known if another wizard replaced him as Dean after he left.

==At the Unseen University==
The "Dean of Pentacles" to give him his full title, is an incredibly obese man ("all of twenty stone" [280 pounds] in {{IT}}), who has the dubious distinction of having been granted the nickname "Two Chairs" by Ridcully (owing to the fact that he is so large that he uses two chairs to sit in). He is generally to be found in his study reading a grimoire or in the great hall eating. His job at UU as he, and everyone else, describes it is to sit around, sleep and eat incredibly big dinners. He also attends some of the functions that are held by guilds or clubs around the city on behalf of the University and partakes of other people's big dinners. All of this makes the fact, disclosed in {{TLC}}, that he got a [[University Brown|Brown]] for Rowing at UU in his younger days all the less believable.

Seldom knowingly nice or kind, the Dean is an old-school wizard who believes that power should be used, and likes nothing better than throwing fireballs. The Dean enjoys himself immensely when he gets to use high-powered destructive spells, and is thus considered by Captain [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]] as too mentally unstable to be allowed to join the [[Specials]] at a time of crisis, when fireballs may have been useful, he was politely thanked for his interest and sent home. When he is allowed to fight, he progresses in a series of spinning leaps, shouting "Hut hut hut!" and "Yo!" a lot. He has even been known to tie a rag around his forehead and shout "Bonsai!" - appropriately, as it helps him in his art of ''Bush-I-do''.

He is like a lightning conductor to any raw magic around, and Ridcully often just observes him whenever there is a clear occult event, as whatever is happening to people will be happening to the Dean at least twice as much. One of the best examples of this susceptibility to whatever occult or semi-magical occurrence is happening, as well as any fads or trends occurs in {{SM}}. Who else but the Dean would paint his room black, create a quiff that could take out an eye, or seriously contemplate riding a cargo-cult motorbike when everyone else is only mildly rebelling?

He once spent seventeen years writing a treatise entitled ''The Use of the syllable "ENK" in Levitation Spells in the Early Confused Period.'' His family is quite wealthy; as a lad, he'd hung up pillowcases for the Hogfather to fill rather than stockings. He was born in Pseudopolis, near which his father owned a lot of cabbage fields.

==At Brazeneck College==
By the time of {{UA}} it is revealed he had migrated to [[Brazeneck College]] and become its Archchancellor, to the rage of Ridcully and minor annoyance of the rest of the UU staff. He attempted to bring Ponder Stibbons over to Brazeneck as well, but failed, and poached a member of Ponder's department, [[Adrian Turnipseed]], instead. "Archchancellor Henry" challenged his fellow Archchancellor to a [[football]] match between wizarding universities over the ownership of the [[Archchancellor's Hat]]... but when a [[Pex|seventy-foot tall chicken]] broke out of Brazeneck and rampaged around the city of [[Pseudopolis]], the match had to be rescheduled until the university is rebuilt.

More recently, the ex-Dean returned to UU to accompany Rincewind in investigating Roundworld's latest difficulties in {{SOD4}}. The hostility between the rival Archchancellors seems to have cooled by this point, and they interact with the measured politeness of extreme caution.

His replacement as Dean at Unseen University has not yet been announced.

==Notes==
* In {{MP}}, the [[Archchancellor]] says "The Dean looks like a man who's swallered a bed!" To which the [[Bursar]] Replies "'',,,the body of the Dean is supremely appropriate to the purpose of sitting around all day and eating big heavy meals''."

*In {{UA}}, upon being reminded of the Dean's departure, Ridcully comments, "How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless dean!" - a slight alteration from the lament of Shakespeare's [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_lear King Lear].

* In {{TLC}}, the Dean refers to "''the memo saying I've been appointed as Dean! That was years ago''!"

* The Dean's violent tendencies aren't entirely confined to magic-slinging: he suffered a black eye, and dealt out a bloody nose in exchange, when he got into a fistfight with the Senior Wrangler (''The Science of Discworld''), defending his opinion that intelligence in Roundworld would first appear on land.

[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[Category:Serial characters]]
[[Category:Supporting characters]]
[[Category:Human characters]]
[[Category:Wizards]]
[[de:Henry]]

Trevor Likely

2014-06-05T17:12:08Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title= Trevor Likely
|photo=
|name= Trevor Likely
|age=
|race= Human
|occupation= Candle Boy / [[Football]] Player
|appearance=
|residence= [[The Vats|Candle vats]], [[Unseen University]]
|death=
|parents= [[Dave Likely]] (father)
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status=
|books= {{UA}}
|cameos=
}}

'''Trevor Likely''' is a famous football player and is the son of [[Dave Likely]] (correction, [[Dave Likely]] is his father; context is important, as [[Havelock Vetinari|Vetinari]] once said). He was the manager of [[Unseen University]]'s [[The Vats|candle vats]] before [[Havelock Vetinari|Vetinari]]'s plan for the future of [[football]]; the status of that job is now unknown. His title in that capacity was "dribbler," both a reference to the dribbly candles he produced and a sly nod towards his future football career. He always kicks around a tin can when he walks; his skill is well known and admired by his friends.

At first, Trevor is only a fan of football rather than an actual player because his ol' mum forbade him to play after she was widowed. Trev heeds this for most of the book; [[Nutt]] reveals that Trev was traumatized at an early age by the violent death of his father during a game, and wishes to have no part in the world of football. However, due to the new, slightly more civil, rules of the game, Trev eventually gives in and replaces [[Bengo Macarona|Professor Macarona D.Thau (Bug), D.Maus (Chubb), Magistaludorum (QIS), Octavium (Hons), PHGK (Blit), DMSK, Mack, D.Thau (Bra), Visiting Professor in Chickens (Jahn the Conqueror University (Floor 2, Shrimp Packers building, Genua)), Primo Octo (Deux), Visiting Professor of Blit/Slood Exchanges (Al Khali), KCbfj, Reciprocating Professor of Blit Theory (Unki), Didimus Supremius (Unki), Emeritus Professor in Blit Substrate Determinations (Chubb), Chair of Blit and Music Studies (Quirm College for Young Ladies)]] after he was injured by two Ankh-Morpork United players. He plays badly at first, but [[Glenda Sugarbean|Glenda]] replaces the official ball with a tin can, allowing Trevor to show his true talent.

Trev had some kind of past relationship with [[Glenda Sugarbean]] the head cook in the [[Night Kitchen]] at UU; in the book, he flatters her in order to get some of her amazing cooking. Shortly thereafter, he falls deeply in love with another Night Kitchen worker [[Juliet Stollop]]/mysterious fashion model [[Jewels]], and it can be deduced that they intend to marry each other.

== Roundworld Footballing Trevors ==

*Trevor Anderson (Manchester United, Linfield and Northern Ireland) - ''Career was ended after a brutal grudge tackle shattered his leg.''
*Trevor Brooking (Birmingham City and England)
*Trevor Carson (Sunderland and Northern Ireland)
*Trevor Cherry (Leeds United and England)
*Trevor Edwards (Charlton Athletic and Wales)
*Trevor Ford (Sunderland and Wales) - ''Scored the fastest ever goal in English football - after a mere 15 seconds of play. ''
*Trevor Francis (Manchester City and England)
*Trever Hockey (Sheffield United and Wales)
*Trevor Howard (Norwich City)
*Trevor Lee (Millwall, Fulham and six others)
*Trevor Morgan (Birmingham City)
*Trevor Morris (Cardiff City, Swansea Town and Wales)
*Trevor Savage (Bolton)
*Trevor Sinclair (West Ham, Manchester City, and England)
*Trevor Stevens
*Trevor Thompson (1) (West Bromwich Albion and the Washington Diplomats)
*Trevor Thompson (2) (Glentoran and Northern Ireland)
*Trevor Whymark (Manchester City and England)

'''Honourable mentions to:'''

*Trevor Barker (Australian Rules Football - St Kilda)
*Trevor Ford (American football - Hartford Colonials)
*Trevor Giles (Irish football - County Meath)
*Trevor Leo (Australian Rules Football - Hobart)
*Trevor Matich (American football - BYU and Indianapolis Colts)
*Trevor Obst (Australian Rules Football - Adelaide)
*Trevor Spencer (Australian Rules Football - Essingdon, Geelong, Melbourne)

[[Category:Discworld characters|Likely, Trevor]]
[[Category:Human characters|Likely, Trevor]]
[[de:Trevor Likely]]

Nutt

2014-06-05T17:10:20Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title= Mister Nutt
|photo=
|name= Nutt
|age= Unknown
|race= [[Orcs|Orc]]

|occupation= [[Candle Dribbler]]
|appearance= Thin, grey-skinned. Has black retractable claws and an oddly round head. Clean but badly-dressed. Appears to be able to change what size he is at will

|residence= [[Unseen University]]

|death= Once, but not for long.
|relatives= Presumed dead.
|

|books= {{UA}}
|
}}

'''Nutt''' is an [[Orcs|Orc]]. He was found and freed by [[Mightily Oats]] from the village in which he was chained to an anvil in a forge for seven years. To Nutt this was when he was born and helped into the light. In the forge, he picked up some smithing. He was presumably brought by Oats to Lady [[Margolotta]], who taught him that he must be becoming and attain worth. This caused him to develop a complex and during the events of {{UA}} he regularly asked the question "Do I have worth?" He spent much of his time in Lady Margolotta's library where he read quickly and voraciously, to the amazement of Miss [[Healstether]], Lady Margolotta's librarian. He has a tendency to liken situations to those described in philosophical texts, and seems to generally assume that everyone else is as well-read as he is.

He was sent by Lady Margolotta to [[Unseen University]] in [[Ankh-Morpork]] where he worked in the [[The Vats|candle vats]] as a dribbler, a job that he said he enjoyed, as well as later coaching football for the Unseen Academicals football team after impressing [[Ponder Stibbons]] with his knowledge and skills (or possibly because Ponder Stibbons was just happy to delegate one of his thirteen jobs). Nutt befriended [[Trevor Likely]] (who nicknamed him Gobbo, short for Goblin) and [[Glenda Sugarbean]], and as of the end of Unseen Academicals he is romantically involved with Glenda.

Nutt did not know that he was an orc for most of Unseen Academicals and believed that he was a goblin, having shut the information behind a metaphorical door in his head. He eventually opened that door with the help of Glenda and Trev, by psychoanalyzing himself under hypnosis, and thoughout the book is followed by the [[Sisters of Perpetual Velocity]], whom it transpires have been sent by Lady Margolotta to stop him killing or injuring anyone. On discovering that he was an orc he fled, planning to return to [[Uberwald]]. Glenda, Trevor, and [[Juliet Stollop]] chased after him by coach and caught up with him in [[Sto Lat]], where they convinced him to return to Unseen University; he grows more comfortable with his race and in particular his strength (for example when he breaks into the Palace, Vetinari asks if he tore the gates bodily from their hinges; he is told that Nutt ''lifted'' them bodily from their hinges and stacked them neatly in the courtyard.)

Nutt takes over as Unseen Academicals' goalkeeper during the Ankh-Morpork United match after the Librarian is poisoned. He is a successful goalkeeper, although the game is really won by Trev Likely's impressive tin-can skills, after some quick thinking by Glenda.

==Annotation==

On page 370 of {{UA}} Nutt claims, "I am an orc with a terrible urge to smoke a cigar". This ''could'' be seen as a parody of ''{{wp|World_Of_Warcraft|World Of Warcraft}}'' as certain Orcs can be seen with cigars in some screenshots, although this is stretching the realms of the likely to breaking point. Considering that Nutt had just finished psychoanalysing himself however, it is more likely a reference to the famous phrase 'A cigar is just a cigar,' generally attributed to Freud, although it does not appear in any of his works.

The "closed door" subplot in {{UA}} relies almost completely on psychoanalysis parodies. Nutt brings a chaise lounge (fainting couch) down to the candle-making area where he works, and subsequently uses it as the location for his hypnosis. He requires Trev to spin his shiny can in front of Nutt's face, mimicking the popular music hall hypnosis trick. Nutt also lapses into an Uberwaldian accent during his self-hypnosis, and explains to Glenda and Trev that this accent relaxes the patient, again harkening back to Freud.

:
[[Category:Discworld characters|Nutt, Mr.]]
[[Category:Leading characters|Nutt, Mr.]]
[[de:Nutt]]

Juliet Stollop

2014-06-05T17:00:58Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title= Juliet Stollop
|photo=
|name= Juliet Stollop / Jools / Jewels
|age=
|race= Human
|occupation= [[Night Kitchen]] Cook/Model
|appearance= Incandescently Beautiful, slim
|residence= [[Dolly Sisters]], [[Ankh-Morpork]]
|death=
|parents= Mr. Stollop (father)
|relatives= Billy (brother), [[Algernon Stollop|Algernon]] (brother), ''3rd brother'' (name unknown)
|children=
|marital status=
|books= {{UA}}
|cameos=
}}

Juliet Stollop is a [[Shatta|fashion model]] and [[Night Kitchen|cook]] who is a childhood friend and neighbour of [[Glenda Sugarbean]]. She is a ''[[Dolly Sisters]]'' football team supporter and has, since the events of {{UA}}, fallen in love with [[Trevor Likely]], a ''[[Dimwell]] Old Pals'' supporter.

She is considered so beautiful that the UU wizards stop bickering when she pushes the dessert trolley into the room... and not because food has arrived. They suddenly drift off into their minds, feeling the urge to write poems. Her most casual of movements are filled with grace. She was even the unwitting subject of the painting ''[[Beauty Arising from the Pease Pudding Cart Attended by Cherubs Carrying Hot Dogs and Pies]]'' (the artist was inspired by her during a football match).

Juliet's apparent Achilles' heel is her "sweet, empty head". She's not the brightest girl, and her elocution leaves a lot to be desired. Glenda worried that if she got new ideas, "there was such a lot of room in there for them to bounce around and do damage". This initial impression is later called into question both by Juliet's occasional incisive comment, which Glenda finds particularly unnerving, and Juliet's creative thinking during the friends' pursuit of [[Nutt]]. In fact, the more Glenda allows Juliet to make her own decisions, the more Juliet steps up to the challenge.

She was discovered by [[Sharn|Madame Sharn]], putting on a false beard and modelling [[Micromail]] for Shatta. Introducing herself to some after-show guests as 'Jools' (breaking the ice with a call of "Wotcher!"), this was transformed by gossip into her stage name, 'Jewels'. She only modelled once during the book, but was so resplendent that everyone clamoured to find out more about her. It is implied that she will continue with her modelling career, although she had to sort everything out with Trev Likely first.

==Annotation==
There are obvious parallels between Juliet and the character of Eliza in [[Wikipedia:Pygmalion (Play)|Pygmalion]], on which the musical ''My Fair Lady'' was based. Eliza is the subject of an attempt to pass off a flower girl as a duchess by, at first, simply teaching her to speak like one, and Juliet is the subject of an attempt (which was rather more successful) to pass off a short and slightly thin kitchen girl as a mystery dwarf by adding a beard. Her name and nicknames also have double references. There is the obvious Juliet "star-crossed lovers" reference, but also, interestingly, the description of her rising into the air, shining gold, points to Jools also being a reference, in this case to the Jules Rimet Trophy for the World Cup (the original is supposed to be Nike, the Greek goddess of victory.)

More obviously, Juliet is also the Discworld's first "WAG". "WAG" is a term used in the British press to describe the ultra-glamorous, but usually dim & vacuous, "'''W'''ives '''A'''nd '''G'''irlfriends" of celebrity footballers (eg Victoria Beckham). A fashion model (e.g. Juliet) dating a famous footballer (e.g. Trev) is a stereotypical WAG relationship.

[[Category:Human characters]]
[[Category:Discworld characters|Stollop, Juliet]]
[[de:Juliet Stollop]]

Glenda Sugarbean

2014-06-05T16:30:59Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title= Glenda Sugarbean
|name= Glenda Sugarbean
|age=
|race= Human
|occupation= Head Cook, [[Night Kitchen]]
|appearance= Homely, short, endowed
|residence= [[Dolly Sisters]], [[Ankh-Morpork]]
|death=
|parents=
|relatives= Augusta Sugarbean (Grandmother, Deceased)
|children=
|marital status=
|books= {{UA}}
|cameos=
}}

Queen of the [[Night Kitchen]] in {{UA}}. A doozy with a pie, but even better with a metaphysical hammer...

Her family are sought-after chefs and cooks and in fact, we learn Glenda is sitting on an offer to transfer her skills to the [[Fools' Guild]], an institution that knows its pies. Even [[Vetinari]] himself is tempted to head-hunt her skills for the Palace kitchen, and in passing we learn her grandmother was a very successful pie-maker to the [[Assassins' Guild]]. Glenda herself invented the Ploughman's Pie, complete with a special technique to keep the pickled onions crisp. She does, however, do a small side job: selling beauty products to trolls for Mr [[Stronginthearm]].

Glenda is, in terms of looks, what the wizards would call "pleasant" or "homely" (although a very well-kept home). Her bosom would be a better fit on a girl two foot taller. She is not in the same league as her friend and (eventually) model [[Juliet Stollop]]. [[Trevor Likely|Trev]], her former boyfriend, refers to Glenda initially as a "fat girl" who makes a great pie. While she regularly reminds Juliet not to indulge in any hanky-panky, she is both unsurprised and disappointed when any opportunities for some hanky-panky of her own are swiftly dashed or ignored.

She is quite motherly and strives to always be in control, regularly doing other people's thinking for them. Not only does she look after Juliet, but Glenda also takes care of her elderly neighbours. She has to hold herself back from taking other people's tasks on herself to ensure they are done right. Her inner voice regularly reprimands her for doing this, among other things. She is, however, always standing up for the little guy, which is often [[Nutt|Mr. Nutt]]. Throughout {{UA}} we see Glenda's character develop as she resolves not to be part of the "crab bucket" of folk wisdom that keeps poor people from aspiring to high achievement, eventually telling [[Juliet Stollop|Juliet]] to pursue her career as Juliet sees fit and to be true to herself rather than following Glenda's previous repressive advice.

She secretly reads trashy romance novels by [[Iradne Comb-Buttworthy]]; a guilty pleasure, despite her realization they all have basically the same plot. When encountering a chaise lounge in the [[Unseen_University|UU]] cellars, she prays for a moment of privacy so she can practice ''languishing''. She learned some fancy words from these novels, but has never heard them aloud: When Mr. Nutt used the term "faux pas", she asked him if it looked to say "forks pass" when written down.

She owns a teddy bear called Mr. Wobble; due to a childhood sewing error, he has three eyes.
She very rarely cries.

During the events of {{UA}}, Glenda learns to live a little, gaining strength from challenging people's authority (even talking back to the [[Havelock_Vetinari|Patrician]]) and taking risks. She begins to appreciate that people need to pursue 'the dream', flogging[[Verdant Spring| beauty products to trolls]], and even coming up with several original marketing ideas of her own, much to the surprise of her employer. By the end of the book, she has graciously relinquished her hold over Juliet's life and is romantically involved with [[Nutt]], planning to ride off with him to [[Quirm]].

A young UU employee named Glenda appears briefly in the fourth ''Science of Discworld'', but it's unclear if she's the same Glenda.

== Annotations ==

Glenda joins the ranks of Pratchett characters best described as a "fine figure of a woman," along with [[Lady Sybil]] and [[Agnes Nitt]]. Pratchett seems to have a particular affinity for this relatively underserved type, allowing them to develop as many-dimensional human characters with a range of interests and feelings rather than as comic relief. The characters are not defined by their body type, but do encounter issues stemming from others' perception of them (e.g. Lady Sybil is underestimated by her captors in {{TFE}}) or from their own insecurities (as does Agnes in {{M!!!}}). Glenda is constantly reminded of her friend Juliet's beauty and her own comparative plainness, but handles this with a tremendous practicality.

{{stub}}
[[Category:Discworld characters|Sugarbean, Glenda]]
[[Category:Human characters|Sugarbean, Glenda]]
[[de:Glenda Zuckerbohne]]

Callus Tacticus

2014-04-25T16:40:03Z

RedReplicant: /* Annotation */

{{Character Data
|title= General Tacticus
|photo=
|name= Callus Tacticus (also A. Tacticus)
|age=
|race= [[Human]]
|occupation= Military leader (Ankh-Morpork), Duke (Genua)
|appearance=
|residence= [[Ankh-Morpork]], later [[Genua]]
|death= long time ago
|parents=
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status=
|books= Mentioned in several books, most notably {{J}}, {{W}}
|cameos= {{H}}, {{CJ}}, {{FOC}}, {{MR}}
}}

The greatest military theoretician in the history of the Disc (as opposed to [[Carelinus]], the greatest conquerer), ''tactics'' are named after General '''Tacticus'''. He has been seen as too competent for his own good. The general wrote a number of military journals, most famously ''[[Veni Vidi Vici: A Soldier's Life]]'' with very practical advice for the aspiring commander, such as the following section on what to do if one army occupies a well-fortified and superior fortress and the other does not:

"Endeavor to be the one inside."

At the height of his renown, the royal family of [[Genua]] died out and Genua requested that [[Ankh-Morpork]] nominate a suitable new duke. They rewarded Tacticus with the selection; his first act after assuming the throne was to declare war on the biggest rival: Ankh-Morpork. This led to the downfall of the [[Morporkian Empire|Empire]] of Ankh-Morpork, which at that time stretched all the way into [[Klatch (continent)|Klatch]] and across the [[Sto Plains]]. His horse, Thalacephalos, is mentioned in {{MR}} as a legendary stallion, although its namesake is in fact a bad tempered mare.

The General has also been referred to as ''A. Tacticus''.

==Annotation==
"Tacticus" is a play on the name of the famous Roman writer and military leader [[wikipedia:Tacitus|Tacitus]]. Known for his spare and concise prose, Tacitus was considered required reading for young British boys taking elementary Latin and thus conforms to the TP tendency to send up the British educational system. Tacitus (whose name in Latin literally means "reticent") was noted for his pithy quips and impassive recording of facts, a characteristic not common among Roman historians, who tended to embellish their work with colorful and highly opinionated glosses. The confusion over Tacticus' first name may even be based on Tacitus, whose first name may have been either "Publius" or "Cornelius."

Although it is almost certain that Tacitus is the basis for this character, his many qualities are drawn from a number of famous generals and historians, including of course Julius Caesar, famous for the quote, "Veni, vidi, vici."

"A. Tacticus" could also derive from [[wikipedia:Aeneas Tacticus|Aeneas Tacticus]], (4th century BC) who was one of the earliest Greek writers on the art of war. His book ''How to Survive under Siege'' (Greek: Περὶ τοῦ πῶς χρὴ πολιορκουμένους ἀντέχειν), deals with the best methods of defending a fortified city.

See also [[wikipedia:Aelianus Tacticus|Aelianus Tacticus]], a Greek military writer of the 2nd century, resident at Rome. Aelian's military treatise in fifty-three chapters on the tactics of the Greeks (Περί Στρατηγικων Τάξεων Ελληνικων), is a handbook of Greek, i.e. Macedonian, drill and tactics as practiced by the Hellenistic successors of Alexander the Great. The author claims to have consulted all the best authorities, the chief of which was a lost treatise on the subject by Polybius. Perhaps the chief value of Aelian's work lies in his critical account of preceding works on the art of war, and in the fullness of his technical details in matters of drill.

The numerous epigrams of Tacticus may, at least in part, have been inspired by the author and general [[wikipedia:Sun Tzu|Sun Tzu]].

His horse Thalacephalus is named in reference to Alexander the Great's horse, Bucephalos; this is odd given that Discworld has an analogue for Alexander in [[Carelinus]].

Oh, and "Callous" in English means "Emotionally hardened; unfeeling". Calluses are toughened areas of skin, especially those which developed into horns.

==Quotes==
* "'''''VENI VIDI VICI'''''"
* "''Let us take history by the scrotum''." (Of course, he was not a very honourable man. ([[Lord Rust]]))
* "''It is always useful to face an enemy who is prepared to die for his country. This means that both you and he have exactly the same aim in mind''."
* "''...A crucial factor, I have always found, is NOT the size of the forces. It is the positioning and commitment of reserves, the bringing of power to a point...''"
* "''Don't Have a Battle''." -- Tacticus on the topic of 'ensuring against defeat when out-numbered, out-weaponed and out-positioned'.
* "''If you want your men to spend much time wielding a shovel, encourage them to become farmers''." -- Tacticus on the topic of beachheads.
* "''After the first battle of [[Sto Lat]], I formulated a policy which has stood me in good stead in other battles. It is this: if the enemy has an impregnable stronghold, see he stays there''."
* "'''''AB HOC POSSUM VIDERE DOMUM TUUM'''''"

[[category:Discworld characters|Tacticus,Callus]]
[[category:Human characters|Tacticus,Callus]]
[[de:Callus Taktikus]]

Callus Tacticus

2014-04-25T16:34:53Z

RedReplicant:

{{Character Data
|title= General Tacticus
|photo=
|name= Callus Tacticus (also A. Tacticus)
|age=
|race= [[Human]]
|occupation= Military leader (Ankh-Morpork), Duke (Genua)
|appearance=
|residence= [[Ankh-Morpork]], later [[Genua]]
|death= long time ago
|parents=
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status=
|books= Mentioned in several books, most notably {{J}}, {{W}}
|cameos= {{H}}, {{CJ}}, {{FOC}}, {{MR}}
}}

The greatest military theoretician in the history of the Disc (as opposed to [[Carelinus]], the greatest conquerer), ''tactics'' are named after General '''Tacticus'''. He has been seen as too competent for his own good. The general wrote a number of military journals, most famously ''[[Veni Vidi Vici: A Soldier's Life]]'' with very practical advice for the aspiring commander, such as the following section on what to do if one army occupies a well-fortified and superior fortress and the other does not:

"Endeavor to be the one inside."

At the height of his renown, the royal family of [[Genua]] died out and Genua requested that [[Ankh-Morpork]] nominate a suitable new duke. They rewarded Tacticus with the selection; his first act after assuming the throne was to declare war on the biggest rival: Ankh-Morpork. This led to the downfall of the [[Morporkian Empire|Empire]] of Ankh-Morpork, which at that time stretched all the way into [[Klatch (continent)|Klatch]] and across the [[Sto Plains]]. His horse, Thalacephalos, is mentioned in {{MR}} as a legendary stallion, although its namesake is in fact a bad tempered mare.

The General has also been referred to as ''A. Tacticus''.

==Annotation==
"Tacticus" is a play on the name of the famous Roman writer and military leader [[wikipedia:Tacitus|Tacitus]]. Known for his spare and concise prose, Tacitus was considered required reading for young British boys taking elementary Latin and thus conforms to the TP tendency to send up the British educational system. Tacitus (whose name in Latin literally means "reticent") was noted for his pithy quips and impassive recording of facts, a characteristic not common among Roman historians, who tended to embellish their work with colorful and highly opinionated glosses. The confusion over Tacticus' first name may even be based on Tacitus, whose first name may have been either "Publius" or "Cornelius."

Although it is almost certain that Tacitus is the basis for this character, his many qualities are drawn from a number of famous generals and historians, including of course Julius Caesar, famous for the quote, "Veni, vidi, vici."

The "A. Tacticus" could also derive from [[wikipedia:Aeneas Tacticus|Aeneas Tacticus]], (4th century BC) who was one of the earliest Greek writers on the art of war. His book ''How to Survive under Siege'' (Greek: Περὶ τοῦ πῶς χρὴ πολιορκουμένους ἀντέχειν), deals with the best methods of defending a fortified city.

See also [[wikipedia:Aelianus Tacticus|Aelianus Tacticus]], a Greek military writer of the 2nd century, resident at Rome. Aelian's military treatise in fifty-three chapters on the tactics of the Greeks (Περί Στρατηγικων Τάξεων Ελληνικων), is a handbook of Greek, i.e. Macedonian, drill and tactics as practiced by the Hellenistic successors of Alexander the Great. The author claims to have consulted all the best authorities, the chief of which was a lost treatise on the subject by Polybius. Perhaps the chief value of Aelian's work lies in his critical account of preceding works on the art of war, and in the fullness of his technical details in matters of drill.

Another Roundworld referent could well be the Byzantine general Belisarius, who in the 500's progressively reconquered lands thought to have been lost to the Roman Empire after the fall of the West. After reconquering the whole of North Africa and bringing the Visigoths and Vandals to submit to Constantinople, he wrote to the Emperor explaining he was about to reconquer Italy, and could the august Caesar please see his way clear to paying the following bills incurred as a result? He repeated his request from what is today southern Switzerland, explaining that with sufficient finance, he could be on the Channel coast in a week having re-conquered Gaul, and could the Byzantine Navy sail round to the Channel, please, so as to ferry the army over to re-conquer Britain? The results of his polite inquiries was a recall and subsequently, his removal.

The numerous epigrams of Tacticus may, at least in part, have been inspired by the author and general [[wikipedia:Sun Tzu|Sun Tzu]].

His horse Thalacephalus is named in reference to Alexander the Great's horse, Bucephalos; this is odd given that Discworld has an analogue for Alexander in [[Carelinus]].

Oh, and "Callous" in English means "Emotionally hardened; unfeeling". Calluses are toughened areas of skin, especially those which developed into horns.

==Quotes==
* "'''''VENI VIDI VICI'''''"
* "''Let us take history by the scrotum''." (Of course, he was not a very honourable man. ([[Lord Rust]]))
* "''It is always useful to face an enemy who is prepared to die for his country. This means that both you and he have exactly the same aim in mind''."
* "''...A crucial factor, I have always found, is NOT the size of the forces. It is the positioning and commitment of reserves, the bringing of power to a point...''"
* "''Don't Have a Battle''." -- Tacticus on the topic of 'ensuring against defeat when out-numbered, out-weaponed and out-positioned'.
* "''If you want your men to spend much time wielding a shovel, encourage them to become farmers''." -- Tacticus on the topic of beachheads.
* "''After the first battle of [[Sto Lat]], I formulated a policy which has stood me in good stead in other battles. It is this: if the enemy has an impregnable stronghold, see he stays there''."
* "'''''AB HOC POSSUM VIDERE DOMUM TUUM'''''"

[[category:Discworld characters|Tacticus,Callus]]
[[category:Human characters|Tacticus,Callus]]
[[de:Callus Taktikus]]