Discworld & Terry Pratchett Wiki - User contributions [en]

User:Abcdefabric

2026-06-04T00:39:05Z

Mixon: Clean up the vandal's footprints

User talk:Old Dickens

2026-06-04T00:38:32Z

Mixon: /* Migating this wiki to fandom or other wiki farms */

'''For discussion from the previous era, see''' [[Discworld & Pratchett Wiki:User talk:Old Dickens/Archive 1]]

==(Here begins a new administration)==
You should be able to delete users now by going to the users page and selecting the Delete tab from the dropdown in the upper right. --[[User:Osiris|Osiris]] ([[User talk:Osiris|talk]]) 18:24, 5 November 2012 (PST)
:Kowabunga! --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 18:29, 5 November 2012 (PST)...but I can't: I don't see the dropdown either in the '''User''''s page or in the '''User list'''. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 18:48, 5 November 2012 (PST)
::Try Again. --[[User:Osiris|Osiris]] ([[User talk:Osiris|talk]]) 19:05, 5 November 2012 (PST)
:::Aha. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 14:40, 6 November 2012 (PST)

== Interesting event ==

WikiShaper334 - I can't fathom this one out either.... on the face of it a legitimate entry, which is why the user remains, for now, unmerged. But the entry itself is fairly banal and unoriginal; the sort of thing that can be quickly deduced from a skimming of the rest of the article. The thought has occured to me that this could be a new tactic from somebody behind the spambots, to establish a legitimate presence here that will enable them to launch new spam attacks through the opening. Or am I being paranoid? I did a bit of Googling and a''traffic shaper'' is apparently a person, or automated software, seeking to order traffic onto a website so as to manipulate data - one use is to bump preferred links up a search engine. "Link-shaping" or "link-blogging" specifically targets blogs and Wikis so as to insert links that push favoured sites up a search engine listing. And adding a number after the name.... could be coincidence. But how can we prove or rule this out for certain? [[User:AgProv|AgProv]] ([[User talk:AgProv|talk]]) 20:01, 3 February 2013 (GMT)
:Of course we can't, just now. It's hard to believe an SEO parasite keen enough to go through that, but also hard to believe the username. Either we'll delete him when he gets down to business or he'll fade away. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 20:31, 3 February 2013 (GMT)

00:14 GMT. Is it me, or have we had no spammers since 17:21 - nearly nine hours ago. I don't like it, sergeant. It's far too quiet. They're up to something out there...[[User:AgProv|AgProv]] ([[User talk:AgProv|talk]]) 00:16, 4 February 2013 (GMT)
:They will come in bunches, but then Osiris could be tinkering... --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 00:21, 4 February 2013 (GMT)
::(The next one arrived two hours later. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 02:07, 4 February 2013 (GMT))
:::I'm tinkering.... I put in a blacklist of words and phrases. For example, try to make an edit using that Justin guy's last name and you'll see it's not allowed. --[[User:Osiris|Osiris]] ([[User talk:Osiris|talk]]) 05:16, 4 February 2013 (GMT)
::::Is there a way to make it so that known users can use the blacklisted words/know what they are?--[[User:Zdm|Zdm]] ([[User talk:Zdm|talk]]) 06:01, 4 February 2013 (GMT)
:::::when you hit one it tells you what it was. It's based upon this example though. [http://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Manual:$wgSpamRegex $wgSpamRegex]

==Re: Johnny Maxwell==
Oh, sorry. Should I get rid of it? [[User:Drakon467|Drakon467]] ([[User talk:Drakon467|talk]]) 16:57, 13 May 2013 (GMT)
:I did already. Twice, actually. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 21:33, 13 May 2013 (GMT)
I've replaced it with a less guesswork-dependant one. Is it okay this time? [[User:Drakon467|Drakon467]] ([[User talk:Drakon467|talk]]) 18:39, 2 July 2013 (GMT)

Thanks. Rest assured, Yo-less definitely did say it. Of course, this being a Terry Pratchett book, it lost under accusations of Satanism and how Yo-less's mother wouldn't approve. [[User:Drakon467|Drakon467]] ([[User talk:Drakon467|talk]]) 05:37, 3 July 2013 (GMT)

==Junk page==

Apologies if there is a better place for this, but this seems a bit out of place. [[Girls Dont Abide By The Rules]]. I did try blanking it, but alas I can't make it disappear. [[User:Aldibibable|Aldibibable]] ([[User talk:Aldibibable|talk]]) 22:53, 31 May 2013 (GMT)

== Create page permissions ==
There seems to be an issue with permissions regarding creating pages as I don't seem to have that option today. Yesterday I had the option but not today. Is there an issue with permissions? Is it just me being a newbie here or are there times when things work only when they feel like it? It seems quite sporadic and most peculiar. --{{User:CelticWanderer/autosig}} 22:48, 8 June 2013 (GMT)
:I've also had trouble with permissions for the last few days, as I mentioned in the [[Discworld & Pratchett Wiki:Mended Drum#I'm locked out!|Mended Drum]]. Have you tried going back and trying again? I've found that the error messages aren't necessarily final. Otherwise you'd have to ask the [[User talk:Osiris|man behind the curtain]]. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 23:28, 8 June 2013 (GMT)
::I noticed your comment the other day. Yes, I have tried several times but with no luck. When trying to create an additional user subpage I get the generic response: <pre>There is currently no text in this page. You can search for this page title in other pages, or search the related logs, but you do not have permission to create this page.</pre>
::Yesterday, it didn't say this. When trying to create a page in the main namespace there's no create page tab and I get the generic search response when there are no results: <pre>There were no results matching the query.</pre>
::A curious case that I hope is resolved soon. Out of curiosity what roles do the different admins serve on this site just so I know for future reference? --{{User:CelticWanderer/autosig}} 23:44, 8 June 2013 (GMT)
:[[User:Osiris|Osiris]] is the owner/operator, I'm the ''Editor Quia Nemo Vult'' (housekeeper?) and [[User:AgProv|AgProv]] has been the major content provider for many years. (Also, your sig really fills up the edit box!) --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 00:56, 9 June 2013 (GMT)
::Ok, thanks. I was curious as you are shown as the creator in the active user list. Regarding the signature, methinks that is a hint to change it. I actually still need to create another sig page for transclusion that should fix this but I still can't create new pages. If it doesn't work when the permissions are fixed I will change the signature if you prefer. --{{User:CelticWanderer/autosig}} 08:34, 9 June 2013 (GMT)
:::[[User:Osiris|Osiris]] changed the permissions for me so now everything seems to be working at the moment. Also, I have changed my signature, takes up less much space in the editor and made it less distracting. --{{User:CelticWanderer/sig}} 21:58, 9 June 2013 (GMT)

==Mass Deletions - a double-edged sword==
There's got to be a better way... I'm ashamed to say while I've deleted a thousand spam accounts, two legitimate users have been deleted in error too, in the last week. And in the last month three thousand spam accounts have been created and are yet to be dealt with. That error rate is just too high (I've left fulsome apologies where I hope they'll be seen. Wish I had their email addresses so I could apologise in person. are these stored anywhere?) While I've cleared out all the spam accounts beginning with "A" and a good few of the "B"'s - as well as routine demolition of new ones as they pop up - I'm now hideously aware that mistakes will inevitably happen and I do not want to make any more. So tonight I've just identified a few known legitimate users who still have to make an entry on their user pages and left temporary messages there, so they show up blue in the user list and are less likely to be deleted in error. but there has to be a better way around this. Otherwise I'd keep on zapping through the B's...
:It ain't that bad, really. [[User:Sharlee|Sharlee]] figured it out immediately; if [[User:Aldibibable|Aldibibable]] is also on Wikipedia he(?) is probably capable too. Generally, though, I'd rather prod [[User:Osiris|Osiris]] (after a decent interval to recover from his shock) to execute his script to remove all the dormant accounts at computer speed. A problem with your valiant efforts at doing it manually is that the rest of us (especially me) can't see what else has happened in "Recent changes", even at 500 lines. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 01:37, 22 June 2013 (GMT)

== List of Characters ==

Not done, just for the day. Can change back if need be, have saved original on my computer. [[User:Rictus|Rictus]]

==Finally...==
Enjoy! I'll try not to post too many jaw-dropping spoilers.[[User:AgProv|AgProv]] ([[User talk:AgProv|talk]]) 23:10, 14 November 2013 (GMT)

== User: Netterku, possible spammer ==

Please check out User:Netterku, as I suspect he may be a spammer who has got through the net. Inept, as it's in Indonesian, which I speak as fluently as Vimes speaks Dwarfish (in fact, Vimes is native fluent compared to me). But interesting, in that the spamming sems to be arranged differently and not to the old well-known pattern. If you agree, and the user has not responded to my yellow card warning, shall we block? [[User:AgProv|AgProv]] ([[User talk:AgProv|talk]]) 08:26, 25 November 2013 (GMT)
:No need for discussion: I did. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 22:41, 25 November 2013 (GMT)

== User:AgustinSnider‎; ==

[[User:AgustinSnider]]‎;Spambot? Noted this user made an account on 31st August but has only "introduced themself" now. The wording of the introduction is also horribly familiar, although the declared location checks out. But no actual spam, as yet? Shall I delete, or will you? [[User:AgProv|AgProv]] ([[User talk:AgProv|talk]]) 10:11, 6 December 2013 (GMT)
:Yes, I seemed to remember the "Agustin" and the mismatched name and poor spelling are depressingly familiar, but I don't see actual grounds for merging. Inquire, if you like, but it can wait for an actual offence. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 14:42, 6 December 2013 (GMT)
::offense committed. Goodbye! --[[User:Osiris|Osiris]] ([[User talk:Osiris|talk]]) 04:00, 9 December 2013 (GMT)
:::Good shot,sir! --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 01:39, 10 December 2013 (GMT)

== Mine's a Boy ==

Congratulations to you and your family. Mine's a boy and he's coming today! Don't expect to see me much for a while. --[[User:Osiris|Osiris]] ([[User talk:Osiris|talk]]) 12:14, 29 June 2014 (UTC)
:Good on ya, mate (or more so the wife)! No, you'll be busy for a few years as I recall. I hope we can raise you in an emergency. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 13:53, 29 June 2014 (UTC)

== BS, regarding your userpage post... ==
Old Dickens, thanks for the Independence Day wishes from this American. I'm hoping that recent developments in GB remind American rationalists not to take anything for granted re the man with Orange Hair.

On that note, a few days ago Rhianna Pratchett retweeted someone's suggestion to her that henceforth, in honor of Terry, Boris Johnson shall be known as "Bloody Stupid" Johnson. -- [[User:Moishe Rosenbaum|Moishe Rosenbaum]] ([[User talk:Moishe Rosenbaum|talk]]) 22:54, 4 July 2016 (UTC)
:Hee Hee. I should have thought of that one myself. Good luck in November; we're at least as interested as the Mexicans here in the Great White North. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 00:43, 5 July 2016 (UTC)

== Reply from new user Wonderful Fanny ==
Thank you, Old Dickens. I will learn to avoid becoming historical. I do not see how to remove a page, but Ramkin House may be deleted. Before adding the page, I did look for Ramkin House under the Locations page listed in the Navigation bar to the left, but I didn't see it there. I now know that this is not the same page as your footer category link Locations, where Ramkin Residence is clearly listed, and which I found much easier to use. The two different locations pages are confusing. Anyway, I have added a few points to Ramkin Residence, as you suggested. I also edited the {{SN}} section on ACCOoDD, to clarify.

== Article on The Keep? ==
Hey, Old Dickens... hope you and Canada are doing well. I just reread (okay, re-listened-to) Monstrous Regiment, and I don’t see an article on The Keep in here. I’m ready to write something up, but first I want to be sure I’m not missing the article under a different title; and also to ask your opinion on what the title of that article should be. “The Keep”? “The Borogravian Keep”? “Keep”? Thanks! [[User:Moishe Rosenbaum|Moishe Rosenbaum]] ([[User talk:Moishe Rosenbaum|talk]]) 13:24, 30 July 2018 (UTC)
:I see no article or even link to the Keep. An officer refers to it at one point as "Kneck Keep", which sounds useful although a redirect or two would be wanted in any case. A problem with audio books is bookmarking or searching or generally finding anything in particular. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 18:30, 30 July 2018 (UTC)

== Hello! ==

Hello. I'm here for anti-vandalism work. Do you have the ability to make me an admin here? I'm pretty sure that you have bureaucrat privelleges. My main goal around here is to ensure that this wiki is what it should be, a user-made encyclopedia, and not a playground for vandals. --'''[[User:DCool1|DCool1]]''' ([[User talk:DCool1|Talk to me!]]) 15:18, 22 July 2019 (UTC)

== Novelpedia ==
Hello, Old Dickens! I am starting a new wiki project called Novelpedia. Novelpedia will become the largest encyclopedia in the world because there are more books in the world than of all Wikipedia articles. There are actually over 129,864,880 books, that means 129,864,880 articles. http://editthis.info/novelpedia. There will also be [[Terry Pratchett]] novels too. --'''[[User:Yoshi|Yoshi]]''' ([[User talk:Yoshi|Talk to me!]]) 10:39, 21 November 2019 (UTC)
:Very ambitious, but still irrelevant here. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 16:01, 21 November 2019 (UTC)

== Help! ==

I want to die. I have had too much for 20 years and I have had enough. It is my time to go. --'''[[User:Yoshi|Yoshi]]''' ([[User talk:Yoshi|Talk to me!]]) 14:31, 26 November 2019 (UTC)

== Morporxit? ==

Terry would have Something to Say about current events, no doubt. But in his putative novel, one could rest assured that the Patrician would be hiding somewhere, and the reader knew he’d make BS Johnson look stupid while he calmly took power back. I don’t see Vetinari or anyone rescuing Britain. Or America, for that matter. :-( [[User:Moishe Rosenbaum|Moishe Rosenbaum]] ([[User talk:Moishe Rosenbaum|talk]]) 21:59, 1 February 2020 (UTC)
:No, I don't see any Vetinari there either. Stephen Fry, of course, should be in charge, but he's not even trying1, it seems. Probably they'll have to rely on their older skill: muddling through. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 02:24, 2 February 2020 (UTC)
:1 ''Well, he can be very trying; another problem in politics.'' --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 03:22, 2 February 2020 (UTC)

:The situation also calls for comment from our UK correspondent [[User:AgProv|AgProv]], but he hasn't been heard from for seven months: not dead, I see, but {{Death|gone}}

== Category pages to delete ==

Thanks for cleaning up those two categories. You may also want to delete the (currently 5) ones on [[Special:UnusedCategories]]. [[User:JesseW|JesseW]] ([[User talk:JesseW|talk]]) 03:28, 1 March 2020 (UTC)

== Willing to help ==
Hi, Old Dickens... got your email. So, I'm happy to help out any way I can. You need another administrator, I'm willing to step up if you need me. I do look at recent changes most days; thing is, I'd need some help figuring out the details of the janitorial end of a wiki. I do edit wikipedia sporadically, but I'm not at all familiar with how blocking, moving pages, dealing with vandalism, etc. works. Willing to learn. Let me know what you think![[User:Moishe Rosenbaum|Moishe Rosenbaum]] ([[User talk:Moishe Rosenbaum|talk]]) 00:59, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

Hello Old Dickens, thank you very much for your offer. If you are still looking for people to help I would be glad to and willing to learn how to further edit the wiki environment. Looking forward to your reply. ([[User:Jagra|Jagra]] ([[User talk:Jagra|talk]]) 16:05, 22 January 2022 (UTC))

== Haven't seen so much SEO for years! ==

Guess it's time for an upgrade :( --[[User:Osiris|Osiris]] ([[User talk:Osiris|talk]]) 03:28, 6 June 2024 (UTC)
: Well the wiki is updated... wonder what's going on. I'm working on it --[[User:Osiris|Osiris]] ([[User talk:Osiris|talk]]) 15:29, 10 June 2024 (UTC)
:: Switched Captcha for the moment. --[[User:Osiris|Osiris]] ([[User talk:Osiris|talk]]) 16:29, 10 June 2024 (UTC)
::: I am a normal user attempting to edit.... --[[User:Osiris-normal|Osiris-normal]] ([[User talk:Osiris-normal|talk]]) 16:33, 10 June 2024 (UTC)
Let's hope. My gods, the last legitimate account created was in Dec '23! --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 18:03, 10 June 2024 (UTC) 
What if these SEO spammers start using AI? ? --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 02:35, 11 June 2024 (UTC)

Hi, Old Dickens! I've been looking in a bunch recently, and you've nabbed the spammers pretty quickly. Looks like they're always in about 4-6pm my time. My question for you: The last few days there've been more accounts registered than you blocked. Makes sense - it doesn't look like the unblocked ones created anything. But then, I don't see the creation of the spam pages, either. I can only see them if I look at the deletion log. I just want to verify that I'll see the userpage spam in recent changes if it happens while you're away... or do I have to go somewhere else to see the spam? Thanks for being on top of these folks. And while I'm not nearly as fast as you, I'm on it if you take a few days off. :-) [[User:Moishe Rosenbaum|Moishe Rosenbaum]] ([[User talk:Moishe Rosenbaum|talk]]) 15:46, 29 June 2024 (UTC)
:They appear as any other page until someone deletes them. Times vary, but usually from the East Asian time zone. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 16:21, 29 June 2024 (UTC)

I've been away... but glad to be back, and glad to see you've been manning the barricades against the orks. Must have been a herculean task keeping the place from being overrun. Thank you![[User:Moishe Rosenbaum|Moishe Rosenbaum]] ([[User talk:Moishe Rosenbaum|talk]]) 01:37, 17 February 2025 (UTC)
:[[User:Guybrush|Guybrush]] seems to have solved that problem by setting up Abuse Filter; nothing's got through it for a week. Nice to see you back. [[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 04:18, 17 February 2025 (UTC)

== Migrating this wiki to fandom or other wiki farms ==
I suggest migrating this wiki to Fandom or other wiki farms and keeping this site read-only. Otherwise it may suffer from DDoS attacks (not by me). No spam or abuse filters can prevent such an attack other than migration.
Besides, wikis cannot be vandalized easily on fandom or farms.

(15:36, 25 May 2026 (UTC)

User talk:Old Dickens

2026-06-04T00:37:57Z

Mixon: /* Migating this wiki to fandom or other wiki farms */ Clean up the vandal's footprints

'''For discussion from the previous era, see''' [[Discworld & Pratchett Wiki:User talk:Old Dickens/Archive 1]]

==(Here begins a new administration)==
You should be able to delete users now by going to the users page and selecting the Delete tab from the dropdown in the upper right. --[[User:Osiris|Osiris]] ([[User talk:Osiris|talk]]) 18:24, 5 November 2012 (PST)
:Kowabunga! --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 18:29, 5 November 2012 (PST)...but I can't: I don't see the dropdown either in the '''User''''s page or in the '''User list'''. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 18:48, 5 November 2012 (PST)
::Try Again. --[[User:Osiris|Osiris]] ([[User talk:Osiris|talk]]) 19:05, 5 November 2012 (PST)
:::Aha. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 14:40, 6 November 2012 (PST)

== Interesting event ==

WikiShaper334 - I can't fathom this one out either.... on the face of it a legitimate entry, which is why the user remains, for now, unmerged. But the entry itself is fairly banal and unoriginal; the sort of thing that can be quickly deduced from a skimming of the rest of the article. The thought has occured to me that this could be a new tactic from somebody behind the spambots, to establish a legitimate presence here that will enable them to launch new spam attacks through the opening. Or am I being paranoid? I did a bit of Googling and a''traffic shaper'' is apparently a person, or automated software, seeking to order traffic onto a website so as to manipulate data - one use is to bump preferred links up a search engine. "Link-shaping" or "link-blogging" specifically targets blogs and Wikis so as to insert links that push favoured sites up a search engine listing. And adding a number after the name.... could be coincidence. But how can we prove or rule this out for certain? [[User:AgProv|AgProv]] ([[User talk:AgProv|talk]]) 20:01, 3 February 2013 (GMT)
:Of course we can't, just now. It's hard to believe an SEO parasite keen enough to go through that, but also hard to believe the username. Either we'll delete him when he gets down to business or he'll fade away. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 20:31, 3 February 2013 (GMT)

00:14 GMT. Is it me, or have we had no spammers since 17:21 - nearly nine hours ago. I don't like it, sergeant. It's far too quiet. They're up to something out there...[[User:AgProv|AgProv]] ([[User talk:AgProv|talk]]) 00:16, 4 February 2013 (GMT)
:They will come in bunches, but then Osiris could be tinkering... --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 00:21, 4 February 2013 (GMT)
::(The next one arrived two hours later. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 02:07, 4 February 2013 (GMT))
:::I'm tinkering.... I put in a blacklist of words and phrases. For example, try to make an edit using that Justin guy's last name and you'll see it's not allowed. --[[User:Osiris|Osiris]] ([[User talk:Osiris|talk]]) 05:16, 4 February 2013 (GMT)
::::Is there a way to make it so that known users can use the blacklisted words/know what they are?--[[User:Zdm|Zdm]] ([[User talk:Zdm|talk]]) 06:01, 4 February 2013 (GMT)
:::::when you hit one it tells you what it was. It's based upon this example though. [http://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Manual:$wgSpamRegex $wgSpamRegex]

==Re: Johnny Maxwell==
Oh, sorry. Should I get rid of it? [[User:Drakon467|Drakon467]] ([[User talk:Drakon467|talk]]) 16:57, 13 May 2013 (GMT)
:I did already. Twice, actually. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 21:33, 13 May 2013 (GMT)
I've replaced it with a less guesswork-dependant one. Is it okay this time? [[User:Drakon467|Drakon467]] ([[User talk:Drakon467|talk]]) 18:39, 2 July 2013 (GMT)

Thanks. Rest assured, Yo-less definitely did say it. Of course, this being a Terry Pratchett book, it lost under accusations of Satanism and how Yo-less's mother wouldn't approve. [[User:Drakon467|Drakon467]] ([[User talk:Drakon467|talk]]) 05:37, 3 July 2013 (GMT)

==Junk page==

Apologies if there is a better place for this, but this seems a bit out of place. [[Girls Dont Abide By The Rules]]. I did try blanking it, but alas I can't make it disappear. [[User:Aldibibable|Aldibibable]] ([[User talk:Aldibibable|talk]]) 22:53, 31 May 2013 (GMT)

== Create page permissions ==
There seems to be an issue with permissions regarding creating pages as I don't seem to have that option today. Yesterday I had the option but not today. Is there an issue with permissions? Is it just me being a newbie here or are there times when things work only when they feel like it? It seems quite sporadic and most peculiar. --{{User:CelticWanderer/autosig}} 22:48, 8 June 2013 (GMT)
:I've also had trouble with permissions for the last few days, as I mentioned in the [[Discworld & Pratchett Wiki:Mended Drum#I'm locked out!|Mended Drum]]. Have you tried going back and trying again? I've found that the error messages aren't necessarily final. Otherwise you'd have to ask the [[User talk:Osiris|man behind the curtain]]. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 23:28, 8 June 2013 (GMT)
::I noticed your comment the other day. Yes, I have tried several times but with no luck. When trying to create an additional user subpage I get the generic response: <pre>There is currently no text in this page. You can search for this page title in other pages, or search the related logs, but you do not have permission to create this page.</pre>
::Yesterday, it didn't say this. When trying to create a page in the main namespace there's no create page tab and I get the generic search response when there are no results: <pre>There were no results matching the query.</pre>
::A curious case that I hope is resolved soon. Out of curiosity what roles do the different admins serve on this site just so I know for future reference? --{{User:CelticWanderer/autosig}} 23:44, 8 June 2013 (GMT)
:[[User:Osiris|Osiris]] is the owner/operator, I'm the ''Editor Quia Nemo Vult'' (housekeeper?) and [[User:AgProv|AgProv]] has been the major content provider for many years. (Also, your sig really fills up the edit box!) --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 00:56, 9 June 2013 (GMT)
::Ok, thanks. I was curious as you are shown as the creator in the active user list. Regarding the signature, methinks that is a hint to change it. I actually still need to create another sig page for transclusion that should fix this but I still can't create new pages. If it doesn't work when the permissions are fixed I will change the signature if you prefer. --{{User:CelticWanderer/autosig}} 08:34, 9 June 2013 (GMT)
:::[[User:Osiris|Osiris]] changed the permissions for me so now everything seems to be working at the moment. Also, I have changed my signature, takes up less much space in the editor and made it less distracting. --{{User:CelticWanderer/sig}} 21:58, 9 June 2013 (GMT)

==Mass Deletions - a double-edged sword==
There's got to be a better way... I'm ashamed to say while I've deleted a thousand spam accounts, two legitimate users have been deleted in error too, in the last week. And in the last month three thousand spam accounts have been created and are yet to be dealt with. That error rate is just too high (I've left fulsome apologies where I hope they'll be seen. Wish I had their email addresses so I could apologise in person. are these stored anywhere?) While I've cleared out all the spam accounts beginning with "A" and a good few of the "B"'s - as well as routine demolition of new ones as they pop up - I'm now hideously aware that mistakes will inevitably happen and I do not want to make any more. So tonight I've just identified a few known legitimate users who still have to make an entry on their user pages and left temporary messages there, so they show up blue in the user list and are less likely to be deleted in error. but there has to be a better way around this. Otherwise I'd keep on zapping through the B's...
:It ain't that bad, really. [[User:Sharlee|Sharlee]] figured it out immediately; if [[User:Aldibibable|Aldibibable]] is also on Wikipedia he(?) is probably capable too. Generally, though, I'd rather prod [[User:Osiris|Osiris]] (after a decent interval to recover from his shock) to execute his script to remove all the dormant accounts at computer speed. A problem with your valiant efforts at doing it manually is that the rest of us (especially me) can't see what else has happened in "Recent changes", even at 500 lines. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 01:37, 22 June 2013 (GMT)

== List of Characters ==

Not done, just for the day. Can change back if need be, have saved original on my computer. [[User:Rictus|Rictus]]

==Finally...==
Enjoy! I'll try not to post too many jaw-dropping spoilers.[[User:AgProv|AgProv]] ([[User talk:AgProv|talk]]) 23:10, 14 November 2013 (GMT)

== User: Netterku, possible spammer ==

Please check out User:Netterku, as I suspect he may be a spammer who has got through the net. Inept, as it's in Indonesian, which I speak as fluently as Vimes speaks Dwarfish (in fact, Vimes is native fluent compared to me). But interesting, in that the spamming sems to be arranged differently and not to the old well-known pattern. If you agree, and the user has not responded to my yellow card warning, shall we block? [[User:AgProv|AgProv]] ([[User talk:AgProv|talk]]) 08:26, 25 November 2013 (GMT)
:No need for discussion: I did. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 22:41, 25 November 2013 (GMT)

== User:AgustinSnider‎; ==

[[User:AgustinSnider]]‎;Spambot? Noted this user made an account on 31st August but has only "introduced themself" now. The wording of the introduction is also horribly familiar, although the declared location checks out. But no actual spam, as yet? Shall I delete, or will you? [[User:AgProv|AgProv]] ([[User talk:AgProv|talk]]) 10:11, 6 December 2013 (GMT)
:Yes, I seemed to remember the "Agustin" and the mismatched name and poor spelling are depressingly familiar, but I don't see actual grounds for merging. Inquire, if you like, but it can wait for an actual offence. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 14:42, 6 December 2013 (GMT)
::offense committed. Goodbye! --[[User:Osiris|Osiris]] ([[User talk:Osiris|talk]]) 04:00, 9 December 2013 (GMT)
:::Good shot,sir! --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 01:39, 10 December 2013 (GMT)

== Mine's a Boy ==

Congratulations to you and your family. Mine's a boy and he's coming today! Don't expect to see me much for a while. --[[User:Osiris|Osiris]] ([[User talk:Osiris|talk]]) 12:14, 29 June 2014 (UTC)
:Good on ya, mate (or more so the wife)! No, you'll be busy for a few years as I recall. I hope we can raise you in an emergency. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 13:53, 29 June 2014 (UTC)

== BS, regarding your userpage post... ==
Old Dickens, thanks for the Independence Day wishes from this American. I'm hoping that recent developments in GB remind American rationalists not to take anything for granted re the man with Orange Hair.

On that note, a few days ago Rhianna Pratchett retweeted someone's suggestion to her that henceforth, in honor of Terry, Boris Johnson shall be known as "Bloody Stupid" Johnson. -- [[User:Moishe Rosenbaum|Moishe Rosenbaum]] ([[User talk:Moishe Rosenbaum|talk]]) 22:54, 4 July 2016 (UTC)
:Hee Hee. I should have thought of that one myself. Good luck in November; we're at least as interested as the Mexicans here in the Great White North. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 00:43, 5 July 2016 (UTC)

== Reply from new user Wonderful Fanny ==
Thank you, Old Dickens. I will learn to avoid becoming historical. I do not see how to remove a page, but Ramkin House may be deleted. Before adding the page, I did look for Ramkin House under the Locations page listed in the Navigation bar to the left, but I didn't see it there. I now know that this is not the same page as your footer category link Locations, where Ramkin Residence is clearly listed, and which I found much easier to use. The two different locations pages are confusing. Anyway, I have added a few points to Ramkin Residence, as you suggested. I also edited the {{SN}} section on ACCOoDD, to clarify.

== Article on The Keep? ==
Hey, Old Dickens... hope you and Canada are doing well. I just reread (okay, re-listened-to) Monstrous Regiment, and I don’t see an article on The Keep in here. I’m ready to write something up, but first I want to be sure I’m not missing the article under a different title; and also to ask your opinion on what the title of that article should be. “The Keep”? “The Borogravian Keep”? “Keep”? Thanks! [[User:Moishe Rosenbaum|Moishe Rosenbaum]] ([[User talk:Moishe Rosenbaum|talk]]) 13:24, 30 July 2018 (UTC)
:I see no article or even link to the Keep. An officer refers to it at one point as "Kneck Keep", which sounds useful although a redirect or two would be wanted in any case. A problem with audio books is bookmarking or searching or generally finding anything in particular. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 18:30, 30 July 2018 (UTC)

== Hello! ==

Hello. I'm here for anti-vandalism work. Do you have the ability to make me an admin here? I'm pretty sure that you have bureaucrat privelleges. My main goal around here is to ensure that this wiki is what it should be, a user-made encyclopedia, and not a playground for vandals. --'''[[User:DCool1|DCool1]]''' ([[User talk:DCool1|Talk to me!]]) 15:18, 22 July 2019 (UTC)

== Novelpedia ==
Hello, Old Dickens! I am starting a new wiki project called Novelpedia. Novelpedia will become the largest encyclopedia in the world because there are more books in the world than of all Wikipedia articles. There are actually over 129,864,880 books, that means 129,864,880 articles. http://editthis.info/novelpedia. There will also be [[Terry Pratchett]] novels too. --'''[[User:Yoshi|Yoshi]]''' ([[User talk:Yoshi|Talk to me!]]) 10:39, 21 November 2019 (UTC)
:Very ambitious, but still irrelevant here. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 16:01, 21 November 2019 (UTC)

== Help! ==

I want to die. I have had too much for 20 years and I have had enough. It is my time to go. --'''[[User:Yoshi|Yoshi]]''' ([[User talk:Yoshi|Talk to me!]]) 14:31, 26 November 2019 (UTC)

== Morporxit? ==

Terry would have Something to Say about current events, no doubt. But in his putative novel, one could rest assured that the Patrician would be hiding somewhere, and the reader knew he’d make BS Johnson look stupid while he calmly took power back. I don’t see Vetinari or anyone rescuing Britain. Or America, for that matter. :-( [[User:Moishe Rosenbaum|Moishe Rosenbaum]] ([[User talk:Moishe Rosenbaum|talk]]) 21:59, 1 February 2020 (UTC)
:No, I don't see any Vetinari there either. Stephen Fry, of course, should be in charge, but he's not even trying1, it seems. Probably they'll have to rely on their older skill: muddling through. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 02:24, 2 February 2020 (UTC)
:1 ''Well, he can be very trying; another problem in politics.'' --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 03:22, 2 February 2020 (UTC)

:The situation also calls for comment from our UK correspondent [[User:AgProv|AgProv]], but he hasn't been heard from for seven months: not dead, I see, but {{Death|gone}}

== Category pages to delete ==

Thanks for cleaning up those two categories. You may also want to delete the (currently 5) ones on [[Special:UnusedCategories]]. [[User:JesseW|JesseW]] ([[User talk:JesseW|talk]]) 03:28, 1 March 2020 (UTC)

== Willing to help ==
Hi, Old Dickens... got your email. So, I'm happy to help out any way I can. You need another administrator, I'm willing to step up if you need me. I do look at recent changes most days; thing is, I'd need some help figuring out the details of the janitorial end of a wiki. I do edit wikipedia sporadically, but I'm not at all familiar with how blocking, moving pages, dealing with vandalism, etc. works. Willing to learn. Let me know what you think![[User:Moishe Rosenbaum|Moishe Rosenbaum]] ([[User talk:Moishe Rosenbaum|talk]]) 00:59, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

Hello Old Dickens, thank you very much for your offer. If you are still looking for people to help I would be glad to and willing to learn how to further edit the wiki environment. Looking forward to your reply. ([[User:Jagra|Jagra]] ([[User talk:Jagra|talk]]) 16:05, 22 January 2022 (UTC))

== Haven't seen so much SEO for years! ==

Guess it's time for an upgrade :( --[[User:Osiris|Osiris]] ([[User talk:Osiris|talk]]) 03:28, 6 June 2024 (UTC)
: Well the wiki is updated... wonder what's going on. I'm working on it --[[User:Osiris|Osiris]] ([[User talk:Osiris|talk]]) 15:29, 10 June 2024 (UTC)
:: Switched Captcha for the moment. --[[User:Osiris|Osiris]] ([[User talk:Osiris|talk]]) 16:29, 10 June 2024 (UTC)
::: I am a normal user attempting to edit.... --[[User:Osiris-normal|Osiris-normal]] ([[User talk:Osiris-normal|talk]]) 16:33, 10 June 2024 (UTC)
Let's hope. My gods, the last legitimate account created was in Dec '23! --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 18:03, 10 June 2024 (UTC) 
What if these SEO spammers start using AI? ? --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 02:35, 11 June 2024 (UTC)

Hi, Old Dickens! I've been looking in a bunch recently, and you've nabbed the spammers pretty quickly. Looks like they're always in about 4-6pm my time. My question for you: The last few days there've been more accounts registered than you blocked. Makes sense - it doesn't look like the unblocked ones created anything. But then, I don't see the creation of the spam pages, either. I can only see them if I look at the deletion log. I just want to verify that I'll see the userpage spam in recent changes if it happens while you're away... or do I have to go somewhere else to see the spam? Thanks for being on top of these folks. And while I'm not nearly as fast as you, I'm on it if you take a few days off. :-) [[User:Moishe Rosenbaum|Moishe Rosenbaum]] ([[User talk:Moishe Rosenbaum|talk]]) 15:46, 29 June 2024 (UTC)
:They appear as any other page until someone deletes them. Times vary, but usually from the East Asian time zone. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 16:21, 29 June 2024 (UTC)

I've been away... but glad to be back, and glad to see you've been manning the barricades against the orks. Must have been a herculean task keeping the place from being overrun. Thank you![[User:Moishe Rosenbaum|Moishe Rosenbaum]] ([[User talk:Moishe Rosenbaum|talk]]) 01:37, 17 February 2025 (UTC)
:[[User:Guybrush|Guybrush]] seems to have solved that problem by setting up Abuse Filter; nothing's got through it for a week. Nice to see you back. [[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 04:18, 17 February 2025 (UTC)

== Migating this wiki to fandom or other wiki farms ==
I suggest migrating this wiki to Fandom or other wiki farms and keeping this site read-only. Otherwise it may suffer from DDoS attacks (not by me). No spam or abuse filters can prevent such an attack other than migration.
Besides, wikis cannot be vandalized easily on fandom or farms.

(15:36, 25 May 2026 (UTC)

Dwarfs

2026-06-04T00:35:53Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40809 by Abcdefabric (talk)

[[File:Dwarves.JPG|thumb|right|240px|Dwarf heads, as drawn by [[User:Knmatt|Matt Smith]]]]
'''Dwarfs''' love [[gold]], but love iron more, possibly because gold can only be made into jewellery, while iron can be used for making many types of useful tools and weapons. Regardless of this, Dwarfs seem to always sing about gold when they sing at all , which they do a lot while drinking in [[Pubs|pubs]], because the word "gold" makes the chorus easier to sing. There are probably many variations; their vocabulary regarding minerals is extensive to the point they lack a generic word for simply "rock". [[Silver (metal)|Silver]] is also a valuable commodity in the Dwarfish economy: as well as its uses in jewellery and trading, the metal has an extra significance in Überwald where it almost has the status of a weapon of war (or at the least, the sort of pointed diplomacy that often takes the place of war).

As Terry Pratchett's books have become more and more elaborate in the recent years the description of the Dwarf race has become more and more realistic. In the early books (''[[Book:Guards! Guards!|Guards! Guards!]]'', ''[[Book:Wyrd Sisters|Wyrd Sisters]]'') the Dwarfs were little more than a caricature of the Disney Dwarfs singing the Hi-Ho song. However, especially in the more recent ''[[Book:Thud!|Thud!]]'' the Dwarfs have been described as an ancient race which is almost immobilised by the large amount of history and traditions. Many (but luckily not all) dwarfs have a problem with fitting into a modern world, where many of the old traditions have become obsolete or plain wrong.

==Traditional culture==
Traditionally, Dwarfs are miners in the mountains (nowadays there are also Dwarf artificers, jewellers, [[Dwarf Bread|bakers]], [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|Watchmen]], etc. in the cities).

In the old days, Überwald dwarfs were often dinner to [[vampires]] and [[werewolves]], just as humans were; also Dwarfs warred against the [[Trolls]]. This is where that silver stuff comes into it: for quite a long time in Überwald, the [[Diet of Bugs|Agreement]] between Dwarfs and Werewolves was: ''You agree not to eat us, and we agree not to mine and refine any more of that precious metal that can so spoil a werewolf's digestion, especially if, e.g., forged into mail shirts and used to edge weapons''.

However, in the time of the events in {{TFE}}, this Agreement breaks down mainly due to the machinations of [[Wolfgang von Überwald]], and silver mining resumes. A silver mailshirt which must be a long-treasured family heirloom travels to [[Ankh-Morpork]] with [[Cheery Littlebottom]], because her family have heard there are werewolves in Ankh, and they reason she is likely to need it more than they do.

Very likely due to the mine networks, Dwarfs have come to be one of the three major political powers in Überwald (see {{TFE}}). There is a rivalry between these Überwaldian dwarves and those from the [[Copperhead]] region. Some Überwaldean Dwarfs also want to [[wikipedia:Excommunicate|excommunicate]] all city-dwelling dwarfs.

Traditionally, all Dwarfs dress the same and act the same – quaff beer, sing about gold, wave a pickaxe and / or battleaxe (see below) at people when drunk. [[Samuel Vimes]] notes that, despite being generally sober and hardworking, Dwarfs - especially those in his city - with extra leisure time are generally much too rowdy and cantankerous for his comfort.

A traditional Dwarf axe is on one side a pickaxe, to extract interesting minerals. The other side is a war axe, to deal with the sometimes very unreasonable people who own the land with the interesting minerals in it.

The Dwarf race is not religious. However, tradition is held onto in a nearly religious way, and there such a thing as [[mine sign]] which is the subject of much superstition. And they know [[Uberwaldean land eels|unholy]] when they see it.

Because it costs a lot of money to raise a young Dwarf to marriageable age, two Dwarfs getting married have to buy the other Dwarf from their parents. Traditionally, the dowry has to be paid in gold or gems.

==Dwarf emancipation==
There is no female style of clothing or female pronoun; there are no female names in Dwarfish. Both male Dwarfs and female Dwarfs naturally have beards and it has never occurred to any Dwarf to shave, and thus doing so is considered undwarfish and shameful. The gender of a Dwarf is only revealed to those concerned, during courtship, when the concerned parties are deemed mature enough to handle it without giggling (gender not being considered important by most dwarfs compared to things such as metallurgy and hydraulics). An interesting implication of this custom is that there is no gender discrimination when a Dwarf seeks a job position or tries to make a career or open a business.

Forensics Watchdwarf [[Cheery Littlebottom]] clarifies this superficial equality by explaining while Dwarf women are allowed do anything men can do, they are expected to ''only'' do those things; acting "female" has less to do with sexism and more to do with acting undwarfish. When she started wearing makeup, leather skirt (very plain-styled), and an armor that is modified in the chest region, a cultural revolution began (see ''[[Book:Feet of Clay|Feet of Clay]]''), leading to much internal conflict in Dwarf politics. Nowadays, traditional-minded dwarfs hate not only openly female young Dwarfs, but also Dwarfs who ''spend too much time in the sun'' and cooperate much with humans or tolerate Trolls. To traditional-minded Dwarfs, a Dwarf's proper place is deep underground in a mine. Dwarfs have a natural lifespan of several hundred years, so they have a lot of time to get set in their ways and fuel old feuds. (See ''[[Book:The Fifth Elephant|The Fifth Elephant]]'' and ''[[Book:Thud!|Thud!]]''.)

==Wars==
For an explanation on the Dwarfs' traditional enemy, consult the articles on the [[Trolls]] and [[Battle of Koom Valley]]; a severe confrontation is described in the book ''[[Book:Men at Arms|Men at Arms]]''. It could be that, as of {{T!}} a truce is in the air as the current Low King [[Rhys Rhysson]] and [[Mr. Shine]] the [[Diamond King]] of the Trolls have arrived at a parley to which many of leaders of the most senior Dwarfish and Trollish clans are abiding. Some of this is based on the new reading of the [[Tak|'''Gd Tak `Gar''']], and some of it is based on right-thinking individuals sweeping back the tides of enmity that are millennia-old.

Dwarfs serving the ultra-orthodox deep-down Grags are distinguished by their black sashes. This particularly applies to their big (for Dwarfs) and fearsomely be-weaponed bodyguards. The black sash serves as visual shorthand, to advise the onlooker "Do not annoy me as I am trained, and temperamentally disposed, to make the rest of your life short and full of interesting event." Compare this to the purple sash worn by teacher-Assassins, which conveys much the same message.

==Language==
The [[Dwarfish phrases|Dwarf language]] is rich and expressive and universally spoken by all dwarfs. It sounds like someone needs a cough drop after eating too much grit in the mine. Very few non-Dwarfs speak it, still less with fluency, and these are generally those who have professional doings with the race, such as Watchmen and bullion dealers. Even these people, and Dwarfs speaking Morporkian, must invert their thinking. To Dwarfs, low is the human equivalent of high. Thus the Low King, and the confusion when you ask a dwarf if he wants to get in on the ground floor of your latest business venture.

One Dwarfish word that is very badly translated when talking to humans is ''dezka-knick'', or "''king''", which to the Dwarfs means; "''senior engineer of the mine''," there is little connotation of royalty or god-given right to reign. The Dwarf [[Low King]] is elected by the senior members of the more powerful mines, and acts as the final court of appeal in disputes. The Low King's seat is in [[Bonk]], [[Überwald]], but it is rumored that dwarf mines are connected underground for miles and miles across the continent.

Dwarfs have a detailed rune alphabet used for important records and documents, though many are able to read human script as well.

See also: [[Dwarfish phrases]].

==Possibly blindingly obvious Annotation==
Terry Pratchett has fueled lots of mirth and travelled many miles on all the things that may be extrapolated from just one line of J.R.R. Tolkien's '''''The Lord of the Rings'''''.

The Dwarf Gimli is on record as having dismissed the fallacious legend that there are no Dwarf-women and therefore the race were born by being hewn from living stone: "''It was said by Gimli that there are few Dwarf-women, probably no more than a third of the whole people. They seldom walk abroad except at great need. They are in voice and appearance, and in garb if they must go on a journey, so like to the Dwarf-men that the eyes and ears of other peoples cannot tell them apart. This has given rise to the foolish opinion among Men that there are no Dwarf-women, and that the Dwarves 'grow out of stone'.''" (LotR, Appendix A, III). In another posthumously published text it is also stated that "''the Naugrim''[Dwarves]'' have beards from the beginning of their lives, male and female alike''" (HoMe 11: The War of the Jewels, "Of the Naugrim and the Edain").

As TP has pointed out, this means that Dwarf females must also be heavily bearded and be-weaponed, and also favour the chainmail-and-leather casual look.

Leading us ultimately to [[Cheery Littlebottom]]...

:
[[Category:Discworld humanoid species]]
[[Category:Dwarf characters]]
[[de:Zwerge]]

Trolls

2026-06-04T00:35:40Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40810 by Abcdefabric (talk)

[[Image:Troll headz 2.jpg|240px|right|thumb|Troll heads, as drawn by [[User:Knmatt|Matt Smith]], with a deep nod to Mr Kidby]]

They are essentially sentient rocks (though don't ever use the "r" word): enormous, mobile, of humanoid shape, with intelligence and personality. And of igneous, metamorphic, and sedimentary varieties.

Trolls have interesting seams of valuable minerals as their blood vessels and nervous system. This phenomenon has at least two repercussions. One: a troll's brain, silicon-based, will overheat and slow down in Ankh-Morpork, and the troll will become sadly stupid; the brain will also overheat in strong sun, causing trolls to stop moving in daylight. Two: when a troll has stopped moving while their brain has overheated in daylight, this troll will look just like a lump of rock, with interesting seams of valuable minerals, and may be (and have been) attacked by mining dwarfs. This is very likely the initial cause of the animosity between trolls and dwarfs, even though, after hundreds of years, the feud goes on because it is a cultural tradition for both species. It being a cultural tradition does not mean it is nice; trolls and dwarfs have repeated the Battle of Koom Valley several times. Historic casualties are high. The hostility lives on and is found in any place with a significant number of both species, for example, Ankh-Morpork; serious riots have occurred in ''[[Book:Men at Arms|Men at Arms]]'' and ''[[Book:Thud!|Thud!]]''.

Neither have Trolls gotten on well with humans, through most of history. Not being able to digest carbon-based life forms didn't stop them from eating them, and a belt of human skulls used to be a popular fashion statement among male Trolls. Naturally, this sort of thing led to [[The Troll's Head|retaliation]] and a lot of derogatory bedtime stories. Nowadays, relations are much more peaceful all around, and the game of [[Aargrooha]] has nearly disappeared. Trolls retain a fear and loathing of billy-goats, however. It's something like elephants and mice.

Trolls are large and powerful, but have never been a political force to be reckoned with in their home mountains (where it is nice and cold and trolls are clever), except for warring against the dwarfs. Trolls generally come from the [[Ramtops]] or Überwald. In the Ramtops, trolls are considered a nuisance; in Überwald, trolls are either enemies of dwarfs or treated as semi-sentient slaves (see ''[[Book:The Fifth Elephant|The Fifth Elephant]]''). In [[Bonk]], [[Überwald]], trolls are considered properties and need to carry a passport signed by their ''owners''. Only in Ankh-Morpork have trolls been able to influence some policies by being a large immigrant group. They have a rather inefficient crime syndicate called the [[Breccia]], led by the troll [[Chrysoprase]], who is the fastest in assimilating into the city human society. Trolls have also organized the [[Silicon Anti-Defamation League]] to improve the image of trolls in the cities.

Trolls have teeth of diamond. A troll dentist might also be a rich diamond merchant. A troll [[Chrysoprase|gangster]] might wear the teeth of their former enemies as jewelry. While most trolls are capable of growing diamond teeth (and possibly regenerating fresh diamond, just as rodents' teeth continually grow from underneath to replace what is ground away on the top?) this is as far as it goes for most trolls. But just once in a while, trollish genetics throws up a [[Mr. Shine|Diamond Troll]] made entirely of diamond. Such a being is naturally super-intelligent as they can regulate their own bodily temperature - evidenced by the thin layer of frost on the outside that also serves as protection against the glare for onlookers.

Diamond Trolls, by custom and precedent, generally gravitate to the position of High King or equivalent over the whole of Trolldom. However, the current incumbent didn't want the kingship if it meant a resumption of large-scale warfare between trolls and dwarfs, but reserved a right to step into his inheritance when circumstances improved. Until pivotal developments in [[Koom Valley]] made peace feasible, Mr. Shine was content to remain incognito in [[Ankh-Morpork]], teaching [[Thud]] and working for greater understanding between Trolls and [[Dwarfs]]. Now, with the troll clans united under his leadership, trolls' interests have found their champion in international politics, as exemplified by [[Vetinari]]'s cooperation in efforts to eradicate the Crystal Slam trade worldwide.

==Female Trolls==

Female Trolls can generally be identified in that they have a tendency to look like sculptures of stone-age goddesses of fertility. Nonetheless, like male trolls, they usually wear little more than a loincloth. Since trolls minimise on clothing to try to stay cool, reverse logic dictates that the more a troll wears, the more erotic it is. [[Nanny Ogg]] mentioned that females wearing clothes excites males, and that there is a club in Ankh-Morpork where the troll dancers ''end up'' wearing seven layers of heavy sheets.

It used to be that troll courtship consisted of a male troll asking a father's permission to hit the female on the head with a nice rock, then, after the female had recovered from her mild concussion, and approved the rock, they would enjoy a nice candle-lit human for two (although that's not done anymore, at least if there's any chance of getting caught), and then for the rest of her life, the female troll will be home subduing whatever prey that the male brings home for dinner. But after coming to Ankh-Morpork and witnessing human and dwarfish courtship rituals, some are taking a more feminist approach and choosing their own rocks to hit their own males over the head, without needing to ask their father's permission. (''[[Book:Moving Pictures|Moving Pictures]]'').

Female trolls use distinctly female names (names of precious or semi-precious stones). In some regions, male trolls expect female trolls to ''polish'', and it's not encouraged for them to grow lichen (a la a woman shaving), since "bald is modest" (''[[Book:Monstrous Regiment|Monstrous Regiment]]''). In cosmopolitan Ankh-Morpork, on the other hand, Mr [[Stronginthearm]]'s troll beauty products includes a spray guaranteed to ''grow'' lichen for that "almost clothed" look.

==Troll Afterlife==
While trolls almost certainly have souls, it is unknown what happens to them when they die. While [[Death]] has come for many humans, dwarves, dogs and even a golem in the course of the discworld books, he has never yet been seen to collect the soul of a troll. Then again, most of them don´t actually die, as explained upon below.

For the trolls themselves they apparently believe they are moving backwards through time as they refer to the 'sunset of time' rather than the 'dawn of time' (they can see the past, so it must be "ahead of," not behind, them). While a troll can die from injuries, they do not die of old age. A really old troll will generally find a nice quite place in the mountains and sit and think. This will go on for years, and as their thoughts get deeper their synaptic processes get gradually slower. Eventually they stop altogether (perhaps because they have reached the conclusion) and the troll is no more than rock. One troll this almost happened to was [[Old Grandad]], but he was rudely woken by some short-lived thugs who had lit a fire in his mouth.

Trolls becoming dormant like this has also been another source of tension between the dwarf and troll races. Dwarfs like to mine rocks with interesting minerals in them, and a dormant troll is basically a large rock made of interesting minerals. This has led to '[[Koom Valley| unpleasantness]]' when some dwarf miner is attacked by a troll he's just put his pick into, or a troll discovering that the stone slabs of that fireplace have been made out of their granny.

==Language==
[[Image:mica.JPG|thumb|left|200px|'''I ain't afraid of no goats!''' (drawing by Matt Smith)]]
Most Trolls can speak the language of humans, but they have their own language and written script as well. They also have an older language known as 'Old Troll' spoken several hundred years ago but still understood by trolls alive today such as [[Detritus]] & [[Mr. Shine]].

Troll Graffiti is a common sight in Ankh-Morpork, rather than paint on the walls, the troll just pushes their finger into the plaster and makes the words in the side of the building. You can tell how important the message is by how deep it has gone in.

For a complete list of [[Trollish phrases|trollish phrases click here]]

==Troll Drink and Drugs==
Trolls are as prone to intoxication as any other sentient species. The intoxicants and their delivery systems are unique to a silicon-based life-form. Such things as troll cigarettes have been referenced. These have a lot in common with fireworks. Trolls have been known to get addicted to fireworks. Troll drinks range from molten sulphur, delivered in a suitably ceramic drinking vessel, to the [[Electrick Floorbanger]] or [[luglarr]]. [[Sam Vimes]] has learnt to use this to his advantage in a riot-control situation. Hard drugs - and troll drugs are the hardest on the Disc - are a different problem. [[Slab]] and [[Slide]] are a persistent problem among the young, and [[Crystal Slam]] is outright lethal, although any suggestion that [[Chrysoprase]] is involved will be very firmly denied by the [[Silicon Anti-Defamation League]]. Many things can be social drugs to trolls. In {{UA}}, we meet [[Concrete]], a troll who has hit on the opiate uses of iron filings.

[[Category:Troll characters]]
[[Category:Discworld humanoid species]]
[[de:Trolle]]

Book:The Colour of Magic

2026-06-04T00:34:32Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40782 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Book Data
|title=The Colour Of Magic
|cover=[[File:Cover The Colour Of Magic.jpg|thumb|240px|Cover art by Josh Kirby]]
|coauthors=
|illustrator=[[Josh Kirby]]
|date=November 1983
|publisher=Colin Smythe
|isbn=9780861400898
|pages=206
|rrp=
|series=Rincewind Series
|characters=[[Rincewind]], [[Twoflower]], [[the Luggage]]
|annotations=yes
|notes=The first Discworld novel
}}
==Blurb==
On a [[Discworld (world)|world]] supported on the back of a giant turtle (sex unknown), a gleeful, explosive, wickedly eccentric expedition sets out. There's an avaricious but [[Rincewind|inept wizard]], a [[Twoflower|naive tourist]] whose luggage moves on hundreds of dear little legs, [[Noble dragon|dragons]] who only exist if you believe in them, and of course THE EDGE of the planet ...

==Plot==
The story starts with the telling of the manner of the Discworld. The world itself is a flat disc that rests on the back of four giant elephants named [[Berilia]], [[Tubul]], [[Great T'Phon]] and [[Jerakeen]], who (in turn) rest on the large shell of a giant World Turtle called [[Great A'Tuin]] who swims through space. On the Disc it is further known that the small kingdom of [[Krull]] has been sending teams of men over the Edge to look at the Turtle and the four Elephants and proved that they are real, but they do not know the sex of Great A'Tuin.

Far away in the hubwards direction [[Ankh-Morpork]], the most famous and oldest city on the Disc, is burning. This burning is being watched by two of the local heroes, [[Bravd the Hublander]] and his partner [[Weasel]]. They are joined shortly after by [[Rincewind]] (a failed wizard who had looked at the great spell book the [[Octavo]] and then flunked out of the [[Unseen University]]) and the Disc's first tourist [[Twoflower]] (who has passed out after falling off his horse which he failed to ride) and after them comes the [[Luggage]] (a walking suitcase that has half a mind of its own and has a homicidal attitude to anything threatening).

Rincewind then explains to the two local heroes his story about how he had met Twoflower. Several days ago Twoflower had arrived from the [[Agatean Empire]] that is on the infamous [[Counterweight Continent]]. He has a large amount of [[gold]] (which makes various men try and rob him) that he thinks is not a lot of money. He attracts the attention of [[Blind Hugh]] who sends [[Cripple Wa]] to tell the two greatest thieves in Ankh-Morpork, [[Ymor]] and [[Stren Withel]], and Hugh himself leads Twoflower to the [[Broken Drum]], a local inn owned by [[Broadman]].

Twoflower pays for his room (using more money than the inn and staff are worth) and is followed in by the Luggage which gets Rincewind's attention because it is made of [[sapient pearwood]]. Speaking in [[Trob]], Rincewind and Twoflower talk to each other while Broadman runs to an Alchemist to check the gold coins that Twoflower had given him. The Alchemist says that it is 'technically false coinage' (local coins contain less gold then seawater). Word soon spreads that a large amount of gold has entered Ankh-Morpork and various thieves start to come together.

Back at the Broken Drum, Rincewind has been hired to be a guide to Twoflower but after receiving pay he runs off. Buying a horse, Rincewind tries to leave the city but his horse is shot by the guards. The [[Patrician]] tells Rincewind that he will spare his life if Rincewind will keep guiding Twoflower and keep him from getting in trouble or killed. Going back, Rincewind rescues Twoflower from a tavern fight and they head out to 'look' at the city, taking pictures with the [[Iconograph]]. Soon the two find themselves separated and Rincewind is almost killed by Withel but he escapes.

The Patrician receives a request from the [[Grand Vizier]] of the Agatean Empire to make sure Twoflower does not return so he sends the master of the [[Assassins' Guild]] ([[Zlorf Flannelfoot]]) to kill Twoflower. Rincewind backtracks to the Broken Drum to find that the [[Thieves' Guild|Thieves]], Assassins, and the newly created [[Guild of Merchants]] all want Twoflower, who is currently selling Broadman In-sewer-ants (Insurance). The three groups start to fight with each other. The gutter wizard Rincewind meanwhile has an unexpected meeting with [[Death]] who offers him a horse.

Refusing, Rincewind rescues Twoflower from the fight while Broadman sets fire to the inn to get the money from the In-sewer-ants and is offered a match by a hollow voiced stranger (Death, and you know what happens next). Of course the fire becomes a large fire ball that sets fire to those parts of Ankh-Morpork which are flammable (most of them) hence finishing the backstory.

We now learn that the events taking place are controlled in a board game played by [[the gods]] and Rincewind and Twoflower are controlled by [[The Lady]] and [[Fate]] is trying to be kill them. He brings forth the most impossible piece: the Sender of Eight, [[Bel-Shamharoth]]. Rincewind ends up hanging from a branch (with a snake wrapped on it and under a wasp nest) and is hanging above a pack of wolves. Death again tries to claim him but Rincewind knocks the wasp nest down by accident causing the wolves to flee. Safe, Rincewind is taken prisoner by the [[dryad]] [[Druellae]] for breaking a branch, he of course has a lucky break and is able to instantly get to Twoflower.

They meet [[Hrun]] the Barbarian and banish the Sender of Eight, causing Fate to lose the game, and the three of them go to the [[Wyrmberg]], an upsidedown mountain filled with dragons. Twoflower thinks of a dragon and one pops up in front of him while Hrun is offered to become a King by [[Liessa]] the princess. Leaving Hrun behind. Rincewind and Twoflower use Twoflower's dragon to escape but flying too far away from the Wyrmberg the dragon fades and they drop out of the air.

For a moment or two they are transported to [[Roundworld]] until the Luggage leaps in and they fall into the Discworld sea near the Edge. They are rescued by the [[Circumfence]] (a fence that wraps around the Edge) and meet a water troll from another world and then are transported to [[Krull]] to be sacrificed to the god Fate while Fate himself confirms the up-coming deaths of Rincewind and Twoflower. They escape their jail with help from the Lady and get into two space suits meant for the passengers of the [[Potent Voyager]], a ship that is about to be sent over the Edge. At that moment the Luggage comes in (wrapped in seaweed) which gets the attention of everyone who figured out that Rincewind and Twoflower are imposters. Twoflower starts to climb in the Potent Voyager and Rincewind starts to climb in after him but then the Voyager starts to slide down.

Desperately a group of men come up and try and stop the Voyager but that only makes Twoflower fall into the cabin below and the latch locks behind him leaving Rincewind outside. Then '...sparkling like a salmon, [the Voyager] dropped into the sky and over the Edge. A few seconds later there came a thunder of little feet and the Luggage cleared the rim of the world, legs still pumping determinedly, and plunged down into the universe.'

Rincewind safely lands on a tree on the very Edge and is confronted by Death again, but Rincewind points out that he hasn't broken anything and is still alive. Death turns out to be a small demon Scrofula and Rincewind argues with him and, just as the demon is about to kill him, the tree gives way. Rincewind starts to fall off the Disc and then clearing the planet he falls, and falls, and falls....

==Cover==
The cover illustration was drawn by [[Josh Kirby]]. Like most of his pictures the illustration is very busy and filled with a great number of details. It presumably shows a scene inside the tavern [[The Mended Drum|The Broken Drum]]. In the foreground of the picture the Luggage can be seen running away on several small feet. Notably, is the drawing of [[Twoflower]] running down the stairs. It can be seen that the artist decided to take a passage on page 16 literally where it says "(...) Blind Hugh began, and found himself looking up into a face with four eyes in it." However, Terry Pratchett only wanted to state that [[Twoflower]] was wearing glasses.

==Characters==
===Main characters===
*[[Bel-Shamharoth]] aka "The Soul Eater", "The Sender of Eight"
*[[Hrun]], the [[Barbarian heroes|Barbarian]], aka Hrun of Chimeria
*[[Liessa Wyrmbidder]] aka Lianna (possibly a typo)
*[[the Luggage]]
*[[Rincewind]], and his [[Roundworld]] alias, [[Dr Rjinswand]]
*[[Twoflower]], and his [[Roundworld]] alias, [[Jack Zweiblumen]]

===Minor characters===
*[[Arch-Astronomer]] of Krull, who kills Dactylos
*[[Bravd]] the Hublander
*[[Broadman]], owner of the Broken Drum
*[[Death]]
*[[Disease]], subordinate of Death (another name for [[Pestilence]]?)
*[[Lio!rt Dragonlord]] and [[Liartes Dragonlord]], brothers
*[[Druellae]], a [[dryad]]
*[[Famine]]
*[[Fate]]
*[[Garhartra]], Guestmaster of Krull
*[[Goldeneyes Silverhand Dactylos]]
*[[Gorphal]], student of the Agatean Empire, works for the Patrician
*[[Greicha]]
*[[Blind Hugh]], a beggar
*Twoflower's [[iconograph]] [[Imps|imp]], unnamed imp that nonetheless has a speaking part
*[[Blind Io]]
*[[Kring]] (the magic sword)
*[[K!sdra]], a dragon rider
*[[The Lady]] (Luck)
*[[Laolith]], Liessa's dragon who eats a flying pig
*[[Loremaster]] of Wyrmberg, who, among other things, notes that "It is forbidden to fight on the Killing Ground"
*[[Marchesa]], a female wizard
*[[Ninereeds]], Accountmaster and Twoflower's dragon
*[[Offler]]
*The [[Patrician]]
*[[Bronze Psepha]], a dragon
*[[Rerpf]], representative of the [[Merchants' Guild|Guild of Merchants and Traders]]
*[[Tethis]], an alien sea troll
*[[Cripple Wa]], a beggar
*[[Weasel]]
*[[Stren Withel]], Ankh-Morpork's second greatest thief
*[[Ymor]], Ankh-Morpork's greatest thief

===Mentioned===
*[[Alohura]], Goddess of Lightning on Trob
*[[Archmandrite of B'Ituni]], former owner of Kring
*[[Archmage of Ymitury]], robbed and killed by Bravd and Weasel
*[[Captain Eightpanther]], maker of rock-hard [[dwarf bread]]-like biscuits, [[Captain Eightpanther's Travellers' Digestives]]
*[[Boy Emperor]], who permitted Twoflower's journey and ordered the Patrician to protect him
*[[Chance]], a god
*[[Codice of Chimeria]], presumably (but not really) killed the last [[noble dragon|dragon]]
*[[Destiny]], a god
*[[Zlorf Flannelfoot]], president of the [[Assassins' Guild]]
*[[Fredor]], possible owner of the Crimson Leech
*[[Gorrin]] the Cat, a thief
*[[Grinjo]], an assassin
*[[Kerible]] the Enchanter
*[[Master Launchcontroller]] of Krull
*[[Night]], a god
*[[Nine Turning Mirrors]], Grand Vizier of the Agatean Empire
*[[Ninereeds]], to whom Twoflower was apprenticed
*[[Olden Ones]], who bound magic to obey the [[Law of Conservation of Reality]], possibly another name for the [[Old High Ones]], to whom even the gods must answer
*[[Pasha of Redurant]], former owner of Kring (also known as [[Pasha of Re'durat]])
*[[Pitchiu]], person whose tomb is protected by Dactylos' Metal Warriors
*[[Reforgule]] of Krull, known for his theory that the disc revolves to distribute weight fairly on the four [[World Elephant|Giant elephants]]
*[[Scrofula]], an ineffective demon
*[[Sorca]], group of people who built the [[Light Dams]] of Great Nef, as designed by Dactylos
*[[Erig Stronginthearm]]
*[[Terton]], who also mans the Circumfence, is attacked by The Luggage, and escapes to the Great Nef
*[[Urabewe]], a nation of dark brown people
*[[Urmond]], an assassin
*[[The Watch]], who carefully refuse to intervene in a bar fight until everyone is either dead or has run away (in stark contrast to their later appearances)
*[[Heric Whiteblade]], barbarian hero
*[[World Elephant]]s, [[Berilia]], [[Jerakeen]], [[Tubul]], [[Great T'Phon]]
*[[Zchloty]], a coin
*[[Black Zenell]]
*[[Zephyrus]], god of light breezes, named after the word [http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/zephyr zephyr]
*[[Cohen]] The Barbarian

==Locations==
*[[Agatean Empire]] aka Golden Empire
**[[Bes Pelargic]], Twoflower's home (mentioned)
**Red Triangle district, where the odds against a house catching fire are 538-to-1
*[[Ankh-Morpork]]
**[[Wizards' Quarter]] (mentioned) (also called [[Magicians' Quarter]] and [[Magical Quarter]] later in the book)
**[[Unseen University]] (mentioned)
**[[Merchants Street]] (mentioned)
**[[Crimson Leech]] (mentioned)
**[[Deosil Gate]] (mentioned)
**[[Pearl Dock]]
**[[The Mended Drum|The Broken Drum]]
**[[Temple of Small Gods]] (mentioned)
**[[Hub Gate]] (mentioned)
**[[Arena]] (mentioned)
**[[Whore Pits]]
**[[Beggars' Guild]] (mentioned)
**[[Brass Bridge]] (mentioned)
**Temple of [[Seven-Handed Sek]]
**[[Plaza of Broken Moons]]
**[[River Gate]]
**[[Leaning Tower]]
**[[Rime Street]]
**[[Frost Alley]]
**[[Groaning Platter]] tavern (mentioned)
**[[Short Street]]
**[[Filigree Street]]
**[[Widdershin Gate]]
*[[Mount Awayawa]] (mentioned)
*[[Bathys]], Tethis' home world
*[[Brown Islands]] (mentioned)
*[[Caderack Mountains]] (mentioned)
*[[Chirm]]
*[[Circle Sea]] (mentioned)
*[[Counterweight Continent]] (mentioned)
*[[Dunmanifestin]]
*[[Chirm]] (mentioned)
*[[Ecalpon]] (mentioned), "no place" backwards
*[[Gonim]] (mentioned)
*[[Gorunna Trench]] (mentioned)
*[[Great Nef]] (mentioned)
**[[Dehydrated Ocean]] (mentioned)
*[[Hades]], another name for Hell
*[[Howondaland]] (mentioned)
*[[The Hub]] (mentioned), spire of green ice 10 miles high
*Ice System of Zeret, a non-Discworld world affected by Rincewind's transfer to/from Roundworld
*[[Klatch]] (mentioned)
*[[Krull]]
*[[Mithos]] (mentioned), incredibly rare blue milk diamonds come from the clay basins there
*[[Morpork Mountains]]
*[[Orohai Peninsular]] (mentioned)
*[[Palace of the Seven Deserts]], built by Dactylos
*[[Pseudopolis]] (mentioned), Death stalks the streets there, "rescuing" citizens from the White Plague
*[[Rammerorck Mountains]] (mentioned)
*[[Mount Raruaruaha]] (mentioned)
*[[Rehigreed Province]], where [[Vul Nut|vul nut]]s are grown
*Temple of [[Bel-Shamharoth]]
*[[Trob]] (mentioned)
*[[Turnwise Ocean]] (mentioned), separates Agatean Empire from Ankh-Morpork
*[[Wyrmberg]]

==Sentient Species==
*[[Dryad|Dryads]]
*[[Gnolls]]
*[[Humans]]
*[[Tethys|Sea Trolls]]
*[[Trolls]]

==Supernatural Entities==
*[[Creator|The Creator]] (mentioned)
*[[Demons]] (mentioned)
*[[Death]]
*[[The gods|Gods]]
*[[Imps]]
*[[Dungeon Dimensions|Old Dark Gods from the Dungeon Dimensions]]

==Miscellaneous==
Things and concepts mentioned:
* [[7a]]
* [[Ajandurah's Wand of Utter Negativity]], a powerful wand wielded by Marchesa
* [[Atavarr's Personal Gravitational Upset]], a spell that makes people think they're sideways
* [[Big Bang Hypothesis]], theory of creation parodying [[Roundworld]] {{wp|Big_Bang|theory with the same name}}
* [[Black Oroogu]], a language with no nouns and only one adjective (which is obscene)
* [[Borogravia|High Borogravian]], a language
* [[Chelonaut]], Krullian equivalent of astronaut
* [[Chimeria|Chimeran]], a language (interestingly, the language is "Chimeran", even though the country is "Chimeria" (with an 'i'), unless the two are unrelated?; Rincewind mentions "Chimera" (no 'i') later in the book)
* [[Circumfence]], a strong fence around the edge of a large part of the Disc
* [[Fresnel's Wonderful Concentrator]], a spell used to create a lens that skims across water, powered by the hate of hydrophobes. On [[Roundworld]], a {{wp|Fresnel_lens|Fresnel lens}} concentrates light.
*[[Gamblers' Guild]]
*[[Ghlen Livid]], a drink made from the [[Vul Nut|vul nut]], which allows the drinker to see into the future
*[[gnome]]s and [[pictsies|pixies]], as having died out when Man came to the Disc (though this clearly wrong as we meet gnome [[Buggy Swires]] in {{TLF}} and the Nac Mac Feegle in the Tiffany books)
*[[Grey Miasma of H'rull]], proverbially sticky substance, parody of {{wp|quicksand|quicksand}}
*[[Infernal Combustion Enigma]], a powerful spell, whose name parodies the phrase "internal combustion engine"
*[[Mage Wars]]
*[[Octarine]], the colour of magic, after which the book is titled
*[[Octiron]], metal that radiates magic, parodies {{wp|uranium|uranium}}, but sounds like {{wp|iron|iron}}
*[[Octogen]], gas that radiates magic, parodies {{wp|radon|radon}}, but sounds like {{wp|oxygen|oxygen}}
*[[Octarine Fairy Book]], a book with pictures of dragons
*[[Potent Voyager]], the Disc's first? spaceship
*[[Rimbow]], 8-colored rainbow seen at the edge of the Disc
*[[Sea grape]], a kind of jellyfish
*[[Steady Gait Hypothesis]], theory of creation parodying "steady state"
*[[Sumtri]], an island and its language
*[[Vanglemesht]], a language
*[[Vestcake's Floating Curse]], a spell

Other:
*In 1989 {{TCOM}} had a new hardcover reprint which featured a [[Contributions to other works|new Foreword]] by Terry Pratchett.

==Roundworld References==
* {{wp|Magnox|Magnox}}, a type of nuclear reactor
* {{wp|TWA|TWA}}, an airline

==Adaptations==
{{TV Data
|title=Terry Pratchett's The Colour of Magic
|cover=[[File:Magic DVD.jpg|thumb|200px]]
|asin=B001EM1E8A
|imdb=1079959
|date=23-24 March 2008
|channel=Sky One
|director=Vadim Jean
|producer=Rod Brown & Ian Sharples
|cast=David Jason, Sean Astin, Tim Curry, Christopher Lee (voice)
|duration=184 minutes
|episodes=2
|series=Rincewind Series
|annotations=
|notes=
|prev=[[TV and Film:Hogfather|Terry Pratchett's Hogfather]]
|next=[[TV and Film:Going Postal|Terry Pratchett's Going Postal]]
}}
===[[TV and Film:The Colour of Magic|Television]]===
Cast:
*[[Rincewind]] - [[Wikipedia:David_Jason|David Jason]] (''Only Fools And Horses, A Touch Of Frost, The Darling Buds of May, Terry Pratchett's [[Book:Hogfather|Hogfather]]'')
*[[Twoflower]] - [[Wikipedia:Sean_Astin|Sean Astin]] (''Lord of the Rings'' trilogy, ''The Goonies'')
*[[Trymon]] - [[Wikipedia:Tim_Curry|Tim Curry]] (''The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Legend'')
*[[Death]] (voice) - [[Wikipedia:Chistopher_Lee|Christopher Lee]] (''The Wicker Man, The Man with the Golden Gun, Lord of the Rings trilogy, Star Wars Episode II: The Attack of the Clones, Star Wars Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith)
*[[Lord Vetinari]] - [[Wikipedia:Jeremy_Irons|Jeremy Irons]] (''Die Hard with a Vengance, Dead Ringers'')
*[[Cohen the Barbarian]] - [[Wikipedia:David_Bradley|David Bradley]] (''Harry Potter'' series, ''Hot Fuzz'')
*[[Bethan]] - [[Wikipedia:Laura_Haddock|Laura Haddock]] (''Honest, How Not To Live Your Life'')
*[[Galder Weatherwax]] - [[Wikipedia:James_Cosmo|James Cosmo]] (''Highlander, Braveheart, Trainspotting'')
*[[Librarian | Head Librarian of the Unseen University]] - [[Wikipedia:Nicolas_Tennant|Nicolas Tennant]] (''Terry Pratchett's [[Book:Hogfather|Hogfather]]'')
*[[Liessa]] - [[Wikipedia:Karen_David|Karen David]]
*[[Herrena]] - [[Wikipedia:Liz_May_Brice|Liz May Brice]]
*[[Arch-Astronomer]] - [[Wikipedia:Nigel_Planer|Nigel Planer]] (''The Young Ones'')
*[[The Luggage]] - [[Wikipedia:Richard_Da_Costa|Richard Da Costa]]
*[[Lumuel Panter]] - [[Wikipedia:Roger_Ashton-Griffiths|Roger Ashton-Griffiths]]
*[[Zlorf Flannelfoot]] - [[Wikipedia:Miles_Richardson|Miles Richardson]]
*[[Kring]] - [[Wikipedia:James_Perry|James Perry]]
*[[Broadman]] - [[Wikipedia:Stephen_Marcus|Stephen Marcus]] (''Terry Pratchett's [[Book:Hogfather|Hogfather]]'')

The TV adaptation also adds characters unreferenced in the original book like [[Hector Tugelbend]] and [[Ransak Boggett]], who are essentially "placeholder" characters added for completion who are referenced only once, with minimal information, and then dissappear again.

===[[Radio Adaptations|Radio]]===
The novel was serialised and broadcast on the BBC Radio 4 show 'Women's Hour' the same year as its release, 1983. Abridged in ten parts by Pat McLoughlin and read by {{wp|Nigel Hawthorne|Nigel Hawthorne}}.

===[[Game:The Colour of Magic|Video Game]]===
The Colour of Magic and {{TLF}} were adapted into a text adventure video game [[Game:The Colour of Magic|''The Colour of Magic'']] in 1986.

It was adapted into a second video game for mobile phones, [[Game:The Colour of Magic|''Discworld: The Colour of Magic'']] in 2006.

===[[Book:The Discworld Graphic Novels The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic|Graphic Novel]]===
The novel was adapted into a series of four comics illustrated by Steven Ross. These were then collected into a single edition in 1992 and then later in 2008 combined with the other collected edition based on {{TLF}} into the omnibus [[Book:The Discworld Graphic Novels The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic|''The Discworld Graphic Novels The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic'']].

In 2008 The Colour of Magic and {{TLF}} were reprinted together in a 25th anniversary edition with illustrations by [[Stephen Player]].

===[[Theatre Adaptations|Theatre]]===
Elements of the book were used in the playtext [[Book:The Rince Cycle|''The Rince Cycle'']] by [[Stephen Briggs]] in 2015.

==Gallery==
<gallery mode="nolines" heights="120px">
File:TCOM First Edition.jpg|First Edition Cover
File:TCOM 1989.jpg|Cover by [[Josh Kirby]]
File:TCOM Compact.jpg|Compact Edition 1995
File:TCOM SP.jpg|Cover by [[Stephen Player]]
File:TCOM Slip.jpg|21st Anniversary Collectors Slipcase
File:TCOM 21.jpg|21st Anniversary Hardback 2004
File:TCOM Black.jpg|Paperback 2004
File:TCOM Tape.jpg|Audio Cassette
File:TCOM CD.jpg|Audio CD
File:TCOM Signet.jpg|US Cover Signet Publishing
File:TCOM US1.jpg|US Cover 2005
File:TCOM US2.jpg|US Cover 2013
File:TCOM Unseen.jpg|[[Unseen Library]] Edition
File:TCOM LF Illustrated.jpg|Illustrated Edition by [[Stephen Player]]
File:TCOM LF Movie.jpg|Omnibus with TV Cover
File:TCOM Zoom.jpg|Paperback 2012
File:TCOM Spineless.jpg|Spineless Classics Edition
File:TCOM CL.jpg|[[Discworld Collector’s Library]] Edition
File:TCOM 2022.jpg|Paperback 2022
</gallery>

==External Links==
*[http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/the-colour-of-magic.html ''The Colour of Magic'' Annotations - The Annotated Pratchett File]
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1079959/ The Colour of Magic at the Internet Movie Database]

{{series|series=Discworld|after=The Light Fantastic}}
{{series|series=Rincewind|after=The Light Fantastic}}
{{series|series=Wizards|after=The Light Fantastic}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Colour of Magic, The}}
[[Category:Discworld Series]]
[[Category:Rincewind Series]]
[[Category:Wizards Series]]
[[de:Buch:Die Farben der Magie]]

Überwald

2026-06-04T00:34:25Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40783 by Abcdefabric (talk)

'''Überwald''' is a huge mountainous region of wintry climate that is the Disc's answer to (fictional) Transylvania, as in, a land populated almost entirely by horror tropes. It was once a part of the [[Evil Empire]] (along with smaller states [[Borogravia]], [[Zlobenia]] and [[Mouldavia]]). The ruling nobility of the land is composed of feudal [[werewolves|werewolf]] and [[vampires|vampire]] families. Lately, the [[dwarfs]] have also come into power. There are many [[trolls]] in the distant mountains, warring against the dwarfs, but in cities such as [[Bonk]], trolls are considered semi-sentient slaves. Humans are still mostly in the roles of "townspeople" or "exploited citizens". Most [[Igor|Igors]] come from Überwald, where they traditionally serve those on the far side of sanity, using the excellent local lightning for their experiments. Überwaldean is said to be a good cursing language. The principal town/capital in Überwald is the twin cities of [[Bonk]]-[[Schmaltzberg]].

Major appearances of the region are in {{WA}}, {{CJ}}, {{T5E}}, and {{MR}}. Überwald is also often colloquially mentioned as the dark and mysterious place ruled and indeed overrun by the undead and bandits, standing in the middle of the continent, cutting off the traffic between the [[Sto Plains]] and [[Genua]].

The region is briefly visited by the [[Lancre]] witches in {{WA}}, where a local [[Vampires|vampire]] is defeated by a combination of [[Nanny Ogg]]'s garlic sausage, [[Magrat Garlick|Magrat]]'s insistence on sleeping with the window open, and [[Greebo]]'s irritation that a mouse with wings is trying to change shape on him.
In truth, Überwald also has many small towns with just your ordinary rural town people, not very mean, not very nice ({{TAMAHER}}, {{GP}}).

Überwald is also home to many of the older races such as [[Centaur]]s.

It is noted by [[Lord Vetinari]] that mapmakers often fill in blank areas of Überwaldean maps with the phrase 'MMBU,' or 'Miles and Miles of Bloody Überwald' In the same way Africa mapmakers used to mark their maps 'Miles and Miles of Bloody Africa'.

As stated by [[Otto Chriek]], Überwalds' scenery is psychotropic: If you say something portentous like "zer dark eyes of zer mind", there would be a sudden crash of thunder, and if you point at a castle on a towering crag and say "Yonder is ... ''zer castle''", a wolf would howl mournfully...

==Economy==
The area does not come across as particularly wealthy, and is thinly populated. The main source of income seems to be mining, both metals and fat. Recently the [[Grand Trunk]] and the [[Ankh-Morpork and Sto Plains Hygienic Railway]] have reached Bonk, connecting this part of the continent with the rest of the world.

==Cities, towns and locations==

* [[River Ah|Ah Valley]]
* [[Bad Blintz]]
* Bad Heisses Bad
* [[Bad Schüschein]]
* [[Bonk]]
* [[Bugs]]
* [[Don'tgonearthe Castle]]
* [[Escrow]]
* [[Glitz]]
* [[Klotz]] - on the [[River Ah]]
* [[Koom Valley]]
* [[Lipwig]]
* [[Loko]]
* [[Müning]]
* [[Notfaroute-on-Ah]]
* [[Splinz]]
* [[Schmaltzberg]]
* [[Slake]]
* [[Wilinus Pass]]

==Noble Families==

*[[Margolotta]] - Vampire Counts
*[[Dragoul von Salic|von Salic]] - Vampire Counts
*[[John Smith|von Vilinus]] - Vampire Counts
*[[Crazed Baron Haha|Haha]] - Human Barons
*[[Guye von Uberwald|von Uberwald]] - Werewolf Barons
*[[Bela de Magpyr|Magpyr]] - Vampire Counts
*[[Notfaroutoe]] - Vampire Counts (bloodline now extinct in Uberwald, last heir living in Ankh-Morpork. May have found reasons to return to Überwald.)

==People==
Some of the better known people from Überwald:
*[[Albrecht Albrechtson]] - Head of senior dwarf family
*[[Ardent]] - [[Grag]]
*[[Otto Chriek]]
*[[Dee]] - Jar'akh'haga or 'the Ideas Taster' to the Low King.
* Delphine [[Angua von Überwald]]
*[[Detritus]]
* [[Wotua Doinov]] Composer of ''Überwald Winter''
*[[Gryle]] - Banshee
*[[Hamcrusher]] - [[Grag]]
*[[Sally von Humpeding]]
*[[Moist von Lipwig]]
*[[Cheery Littlebottom]]
*Igor at the [[Royal Bank of Ankh-Morpork]]
*Lots of other [[Igor]]s.
*Lady [[Margolotta]]
*The [[Notfaroutoe]] family
*Mr [[Nutt]]
*[[Rhys Rhysson]] - [[Low King]] of the Dwarfs
*[[Sharn|Madam Sharn]]
*Captain [[Tantony]] of the Bonk Watch
*[[Guye von Überwald|Baron Guye von Überwald]]
*[[Serafine von Überwald|Baroness Serafine von Überwald]]
*[[Wolfgang von Überwald]]

==Books Featuring Uberwald ==
*{{WA}}
*{{CJ}}
*{{TFE}}
*{{TAMAHER}}
*{{MR}}
*{{GP}}
*{{UA}}
*{{RS}}
*{{CDA}}

==Annotation==
On [[Roundworld]] "Überwald" is the literal German translation of {{wp|Transylvania|Transylvania}} ("beyond [over] the forest"), where big part of the population is German-speaking, so the language of the inhabitants of Überwald has also German-like accent.

One of the most famous European empires was the Holy Roman Empire. The most famous royal house in it was the House of Habsburg, which used a double-headed eagle as its symbol and originated in eastern Europe. Of course, the Unholy Empire was more straightforward, being both an empire and unholy; the Holy Roman Empire by Voltaire's time was not holy, Roman, or an empire.

Pratchett himself confesses that this country is simply a collection of horror movie cliches especially those associated with the Hammer movies. As a result the fine lads and lasses over at [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Uberwald TV Tropes] have decided to name the whole trope of a spooky European kingdom with haunted castles, vampires, werewolves and fearful peasants everywhere you look ''Uberwald'', in fact I can do no better than to shamelessly rip off their entry:

A generic sort of "eastern Europe" area. There are peasants everywhere, and spooky old towns. Castles in the mountains abound, where one may find vampires, mad scientists, or the curse of the werewolf. Half of the population is gypsies who are easily angered and have funny accents.

A late sixties' Hammer horror was called ''Theatre of Horror'', and used the idea of a travelling circus which carried among its number several vampire performers, who could perform, eat, then move on before they were noticed. Given that it may have used the doubly horrifying concept of a vampire clown, this makes the idea of Müning being the centre of Überwaldean clowning doubly more plausible and infinitely more scary.

In the 1931 film version of Stoker's ''Dracula'', Van Helsing reflects:- "According to van Helsing, the Count must indeed have been that Voivode Dracula who won his name against the Turk, over the great river on the very frontier of Turkey-land. If it be so, then was he no common man: for in that time, and for centuries after, he was spoken of as the cleverest and the most cunning, as well as the bravest of the sons of the '''''land beyond the forest'''''"

Human Überwald tends largely to reflect Southern Germany (Bavaria), Switzerland, and those less martial associations with Austria. (The countries of Borogravia and Zlobenia appear to reflect Imperial Austro-Hungary taken up to eleven). Hungary and Romania, with their rich folklore, add a dash of exotic colour. A distinct [[Wotua Doinov|Russian flavour]] appears in Far Überwald, with a Russian-like language using a "Cyrillic" alphabet.

:
[[de:Überwald]]
[[Category:Discworld geography|Uberwald]]

Nobby Nobbs

2026-06-04T00:34:14Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40787 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Character Data
|title= Nobby Nobbs
|photo=nobbymine.jpg|Nobby Nobbs by [[User:Darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name= Cecil Wormsborough St John Nobbs
|age= forty-something, about eight years younger than Sam Vimes
|race= [[Humans|Human]], he has the [[Nobby's note|papers]] to prove it
|occupation= member of the [[Ankh-Morpork Watch]]
|appearance= described as sidling even when standing, monkey-like, and small.
|residence= [[Ankh-Morpork]]
|death=
|parents= Father, [[Sconner Nobbs]] and Mother, [[Maisie Nobbs]]
|relatives= Brother, [[Errol Nobbs]] and cousin, Vincent; Granny Nobbs (deceased)
|children=
|marital status=
|books=[[:Category:Watch Series|Watch Series]]
|cameos={{MP}}, {{H}}, {{M!!!}}, {{SM}}, {{TT}}, {{GP}}, {{MM}}, {{ISWM}}
}}
'''Cecil Wormsborough St John Nobbs''' (St John pronounced as Sin-jun), ''Mr. Steel-toecaps-in-the-groin, I-was-just-checking-the-doorhandle-and-it-opened-all-by-itself'', usually called '''Nobby''', has a long history in the Pratchett world, most of which is unsavoury. This probably pertains to his person rather than any particular act: Nobby, perhaps, should have been disqualified from the human race (for shoving). Nobby, shall we say, acquires things. He is ''good'' at acquiring things. He keeps moving rooms at [[Pseudopolis Yard]] owing to his habit of filling them up. Nobby likes to take small things that nobody is watching, but that perhaps is not very rare in [[Ankh-Morpork]]. He had been a street urchin, and it appears that he has never grown out of the habits he acquired back then. He has been playfully described as "''only bad in the same way that a weasel is evil''," lacking the maliciousness, stupid bravery. or hubris of genuinely unsavory characters. In short, Nobby ain't half bad, and he looks after his mates, but he looks after himself first, as you do, "''and I didn't do it, it was Fred, see''?"

Nobby is the only human known to need to carry a [[Nobby's note|declaration]], signed by [[Vetinari|Lord Vetinari]] to the effect that; "''following affidavits from the midwife and a doctor, I confirm that the bearer is, in all probability, human''." Characters up to and including Death ([[Hogfather]]) are sometimes hesitant to comment.

Nobby has been a corporal in the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]] for quite a while, and is quite determined to stay at that rank. He is unusually perceptive about being used by authority, and like [[Rincewind]], knows all about why '''''not''''' to volunteer no matter how many incentives are offered. He has been in many military regiments, and was once Quartermaster for the [[Pseudopolis]] army (who coincidentally lost wars due to weapon shortages); when Carrot asked who he sold them to, Nobby said that they merely spent a long time away for cleaning. In his spare time, Nobby is a member of the [[Ankh-Morpork Folk Dance and Song Society]] and the historical re-enactment society, the [[Peeled Nuts]], which he takes quite seriously.

During his old friend [[Fred Colon]]'s short and tyrannical reign as Captain of the Watch, Nobby served as the opposition leader, President of the [[Watchmen's Guild]]. It should be added that shortly before, Nobby had been dropping some most uncharacteristic hints to the effect that if Colon had been promoted Acting-Captain, he, Nobbs, should therefore be given a crack at Acting-Sergeant. This one-and-only attempt to get a further promotion having been ignored completely, it is possible that Nobby's later action in leading a strike was at least partially motivated by pique at his old friend's inability to see a clear hint when written in unsubtle six-foot neon-glowing letters. Until then, Nobby had been a loyal supporter of the Colon regime and had been doing his best to mitigate dissent on the shop floor. (And it also displayed the essential difference between a Corporal Nobbs and a Corporal [[Strappi]]: even when placed in a potentially Strappi-like position, Nobby would not have grassed on any of his mates.) Despite the image of dual buffonery, Nobby is often more insightful and cunning than Fred or at least less apt to let pride and bravado cloud his thinking.

Nobby is both a romantic and a cynic. He is enthusiastic about folk-dancing and historical re-creation, activities considered by the average Ankh-Morporkian to be the pursuits of a twit. On the other hand, he is good at picking out weak points in other people's arguments, and he believes there is always a catch in a good offer. One day he hopes to have a young lady, but he's not easily pleased. Recently the incredibly gorgeous [[Tawneee]] fell for him, (suffering from the worst-known case of ''Jerk Syndrome'',) but its been implied that he has turned her down for her lack of culinary skill. Other women have tended to throw things at him - especially [[Verity Pushpram]]. Following a trip to [[Klatch (country)|Klatch]], he has become worryingly enthusiastic about the prospect of undercover work, particularly that which involves dressing up as a woman.

Nobby has a tattoo on his arm saying "'''''WUM'''''." It was supposed to be "'''''MUM'''''" but he passed out through alcohol and [[Needle Ned]] didn't spot that he was upside-down.
[[Image:Wum.jpg|200px|thumb|left|Picture of Nobby's tattoo by [[User:Knmatt|Matt Smith]]]]

Nobby is shorter than many [[dwarfs]], and due to a personal hygiene problem he can tarnish and corrode any metal near him. One of his hobbies is doing tricks with his spots. He lodges many half-smoked cigarettes behind his ears. People who meet him for the first time usually think of him as either a dwarf or a monkey. Currently, he carries a affidavits signed by Lord [[Havelock Vetinari]] attesting to his species, as the [[Patrician]] has heard testimony from the midwife Mrs [[Slipdry]]: both of Nobby's parents were humans:

Nobby is son of Sconner Nobbs and Maisie of [[Elm Street]] (also reported as Old Cobblers : the family sometimes moved quite suddenly, usually at night.) Nobby grew up in one of those impoverished families in Ankh-Morpork. He is probably the youngest child, since it is unthinkable that any parent could look at baby Nobby and decide to try to have another. He has, or had, a brother, Errol, after whom the heroic [[Errol|swamp dragon]] was named. In the extended family, Nobby's cousins and relatives include several petty criminals. Little is known about Nobby's mother [[Maisie Nobbs|Maisie]], but from Nobby's own words, it can be gathered that his father [[Sconner Nobbs]] used to hide from the military police and make all the family hide in the cellar, and that Sconner used to beat Nobby, and presumably his brother Errol too, sometimes to the point of breaking bones (according to Night Watch). Nobby has a couple of scars, and a trick elbow by which to remember his father (see ''[[Book:Feet of Clay|Feet of Clay]]''). Nobby's cousin, Vincent, was once charged with indecently assaulting the Duchess of Quirm's scullery maid.

According to [[Dragon King of Arms]] in [[Feet of Clay]] Nobby was descended from the Earl of Ankh, though this can not be proven. The only 'proof' is a corroded ring which Nobby ''claims'' to have gotten from his father, but considering he was the one sent to retrieve the corpse of the unfortunate [[Edward d'Eath]], the last person known to hold the ring, this proof is... well, it's clearly not. On the other hand, the ring Edward d'Eath held was royal jewelry, not earldom jewelry, and may not have been the same one Nobby had (see ''[[Book:Men at Arms|Men at Arms]]''). He owns also a tiara, a coronet and three gold lockets (see {{FOC}})...

At the end of {{SN}}, after being tragically spurned by [[Verity Pushpram]], (who is marrying another), Nobby's luck appears to have changed for the better - well, changed, anyway. He is seen to have acquired a [[Goblins|very singular girlfriend]], Shine of the Rainbow, who is completely matched to him and who in a very fittingly Quirmian way has switched him on to eating snails. Although his prospective in-laws might still be fearful their daughter is trading down... Nobby also finds himself promoted, at least to acting-sergeant, as [[Fred Colon]] is on long-term sick leave. This is justified by his being attached to the new Waterside Constabulary, under the command of Chief Constable [[Feeney Upshot]], to get it off the ground and provide on-the-job training in the, er, ''realities'' of police work.

His relationship with [[Shine of the Rainbow]] seems to have flourished as of {{RS}}, as [[Fred Colon]] calls Nobby a "very nearly married man". Perhaps our favourite thieving romantic has found a partner after all...

== Fan Art ==
<gallery mode=packed heights=300px>
File:Nobby_HP.webp|By [[User:HeiryProblems|Mile Mićić]]
</gallery>

== Annotations ==
* Iona and Peter Opie's Lore and Language of Schoolchildren notes that Nobby is a slang term for a policeman.
* The reason his first name is Cecil may be due to Terry Pratchett being a fan of the US Cecil Adams' series called Straight Dope. Alternatively, Cecil Sharp was an avid collector of English Folk song and dances. He was the founder of the English Folk Dance Society, now known as the English Folk Dance and Song Society.[http://www.efdss.org/]
* In [[TV and Film:Hogfather|the TV adaption of ''Hogfather'']] he was played by [http://www.skyone.co.uk/hogfather/images/gal_20.jpg Nicholas Tennant], who went on to play [[Horace Worblehat]]/The [[Librarian]] in [[TV and Film:The Colour of Magic|the TV adaptation of ''The Light Fantastic'']].

== Trivia ==
* In its entirety, the writ Nobby carries around with him, as shown in {{FOC}}, reads: ''I, after hearing evidence from a number of experts, including Mrs. Slipdry the midwife, certify that the balance of probability is that the bearer of this document, C.W.St John Nobbs, is a [[human]] being. Signed, Lord Vetinari.''

{{DEFAULTSORT:Nobbs, Nobby}}
[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[category:Supporting characters]]
[[category:Serial characters]]
[[Category:Human characters]]
[[Category:Watchmen]]
[[de:Cecil Wormsborough St John Nobbs]]

Twoflower

2026-06-04T00:34:08Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40788 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Character Data
|title= Twoflower
|photo=Blank.jpg|
|name= Twoflower
|age=
|race= [[:Category:Human characters|Human]]

|occupation= Tourist, inciter of revolutions, prisoner, possible [[Grand Vizier]] of the Agatean Empire, [[Inn-Sewer-Ants]] clerk
|appearance= Short, bald, wears glasses

|residence= [[Bes Pelargic]], [[Agatean Empire]]

|death=
|parents=
|relatives= Unnamed sister mentioned in {{COM}}. He has an alter-ego on [[Roundworld]] called [[Jack Zweiblumen]].
|children= [[Pretty Butterfly]], [[Lotus Blossom]]
|marital status= Widower

|books= {{COM}}, {{TLF}}, {{IT}}
|cameos=
}}
When '''Twoflower''' first appears in {{COM}} he is the [[Discworld (world)|Discworld]]'s first tourist. He strolls around the city of [[Ankh-Morpork]] looking for adventure and ''genuine'' native food, and taking pictures of everything with his [[iconograph]] (including a statue of the god [[Seven-Handed Sek|Sek]] after donating two rhinu to his temple), and several pictures at the [[Whore Pits]].

He is probably the most naive person on the [[Disc]], because he sincerely believes that no harm will happen to him since he is only a spectator. [[The Luggage]] who accompanies him and eats everyone coming too close helps protect him too, reinforcing this belief.

As an actuary, he also introduces the concept of economics (reflected-sound-of-underground-spirits, "echo-gnomics") to Ankh-Morpork and sells an inn-sewer-ants polly-sea to [[The Broken Drum]] owner [[Broadman]], who promptly sets fire to the inn to collect on the grossly overvalued Broken Drum. In the process Broadman kills himself and turns half the city into ashes.

The high rate of exchange between the [[rhinu|Agatean Empire's currency]] and the Ankh-Morpork [[Currency|dollar]] results in Twoflower's unknowingly overpaying for everything.

Twoflower's love of dragons (he was captivated by pictures of them in [[Octarine Fairy Book|The Octarine Fairy Book]]) allows him to conjure up a dragon (which he names [[Ninereeds]] after the man he was apprenticed to) when he visits [[Wyrmberg]].

The Agatean Empire normally opposes tourism (or people leaving the Empire for any reason whatsoever), but the [[Boy Emperor]] sanctions Twoflower's visit, and even instructs Ankh-Morpork's [[Patrician]] (via [[Pointless albatross]]) to protect Twoflower. The Empire's considerably more seasoned [[Nine Turning Mirrors|Grand Vizier]] asks the Patrician to kill Twoflower, so that Twoflower won't bring back the "disease of dissatisfaction".

When Twoflower arrives in [[Ankh-Morpork]], the failed wizard [[Rincewind]] is given the task of protecting him, and subsequently follows Twoflower on his journeys around the Disc in {{COM}} and {{TLF}}, the first two Discworld novels. On these journeys, Twoflower retains his optimism and naive öutlook, despite the fact he and Rincewind are almost constantly finding themselves in life-threatening situations. This could be at least partly due to the fact that most of the really dangerous stuff always happens to Rincewind. Eventually, after many adventures and saving the world, Twoflower decides to return home to the [[Counterweight continent]].

Twoflower appears again in the book {{IT}}. It seems that when he returned to the [[Agatean Empire]], he wrote a book titled ''[[What I Did On My Holidays]]''. This book presented an image of life very different from that known to the oppressed and isolated people of the Agatean Empire, and it sparked a revolutionary movement, especially since the Boy Emperor who sanctioned Twoflower's visit had long since died. Twoflower himself was thrown in prison, and then apparently forgotten. Rincewind meets up with Twoflower in the dungeons and frees him. Twoflower's two daughters, [[Pretty Butterfly]] and [[Lotus Blossom]], are among the leaders of the revolutionary group known as the [[Red Army]].

Twoflower's wife had been killed some time before in a fight between [[Lord Hong]]'s and [[Tangs|Tang's]] armies. As a result of this he ends up challenging [[Lord Hong]] (who is holding Rincewind hostage) to a duel. Twoflower is saved from certain death when the [[Barking Dog]] that was the exchange for [[Rincewind]]'s journey across the land crushes and explodes [[Lord Hong]], also killing [[Ronald Saveloy]] in the process. [[Cohen]] then names Twoflower his Grand Vizier, giving him instructions to pass on the word that "the Emperor is a literal-minded man" and fond of the phrase "heads will roll". After Cohen's departure from the throne at the start of [[the Last Hero]] this would have left the new Grand Vizier presumably in charge of the whole empire...for perhaps just long enough for it to mutate into the [[People's Beneficent Republic of Agatea]], which did away with the whole Emperor business and is now guided by the Chairperson of the Central Committee, named as a Madame [[Pretty Butterfly|Butterfly]].

[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[Category:Leading characters]]
[[de:Zweiblum]]

Nanny Ogg

2026-06-04T00:33:15Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40808 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Character Data
|title= Nanny Ogg
|photo=nannymine.jpg|Nanny Ogg by [[user: darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name= Gytha Ogg
|age= 70+
|race= Human
|occupation= [[Witches|Witch]]
|appearance= Short, dumpy, face like a friendly raisin.
|residence= Tír Nani Ogg, The Square, [[Lancre Town]], [[Lancre]]
|death=
|parents=
|relatives= sister, [[Beryl Ogg]]
|children= [[Jason Ogg|Jason]], Grame, Tracie, [[Shirl Ogg|Shirl]], Daff, Dreen, [[Nev Ogg|Nev]], Trev, Kev, Wane, Sharleen, Darron, Karen, [[Reet]] and [[Shawn Ogg|Shawn]]
|marital status= Widow (Albert Ogg, Winston Ogg and [[Sobriety Ogg]])
|books= {{WS}} {{WA}} {{LL}} {{M!!!}} {{CJ}} {{NOC}} ''[[Short Story:The Sea and Little Fishes|The Sea and Little Fishes]]'' {{W}} {{ISWM}} {{TSC}} {{TAG}}
|cameos= {{TOT}} {{WFM}}
}}
'''Gytha "Nanny" Ogg''' is a [[witches magic|witch]] from the [[Ramtops|Ramtop Mountains]], [[Granny Weatherwax]]'s oldest and perhaps only friend, sometime conscience and reality-check. As skilled a witch as Granny, but in other ways, able to manipulate events and people (even Granny) by being herself – ''in capital letters'' – fond of a dram, or three; fond of a lad, or three; she is Granny's connection to a different world.

She lives in [[Lancre town]] and is the matriarch of a very big family. Two of her sons live in cottages on either side of her house, and when she needs either of them she only has to bang on the wall. It is said that housework to Nanny is something that happens to other people; Nanny stopped doing housework once her eldest daughter was old enough to hold a duster. Nowadays, Nanny's daughters-in-law come in to do her household chores; she bosses them rather nastily, and the trait is considered to be the only unpleasant thing about Nanny. While she knows every detail of the lives of all her grand- and great-grand-children and most of the rest of Lancre and their ancestors, she can never recall the name of a daughter-in-law.

Among Nanny's special talents are the ability to get along in any foreign language immediately by turning it into a pidgin that gets the message across, and a knack for producing a reasonable tune from any instrument she picks up. Her singing voice, when echoed by a half filled bathtub, causes birds to fall from the sky and goat milk to turn into yoghurt while still in the goat. Needless to say, the neighbors panic when they hear her drawing a bath. One of her favorite songs is [[Hedgehog song|The Hedgehog Can Never be Buggered at All]], whose lyrics probably shouldn't be proclaimed so loudly in public places. More importantly, she has been selected by [[Time|those]] who should know as the greatest midwife in history, and her command of practical magic is probably second only to Esmerelda Weatherwax's. Nanny Ogg's version of [[scumble]] (distilled, rather than frozen) is widely famous. It's made from apples, ''well, mostly apples''; the mystery ingredients seem to give it power beyond mere alcohol. She must be deemed to be an irrepressible cook, and is the author of [[The_Joye_of_Snacks|The Joye of Snacks]] and the inspiration for
[[Book:Nanny_Ogg's_Cookbook|Nanny Ogg's Cookbook]].

Nanny Ogg has a helmet of white hair like a very solid thatch. It is also said that there were [[dwarfs]] in the Ogg ancestry. In any case, the result is that it is difficult to knock Nanny out by hitting her on the head, an option not often contemplated but attempted at least once (see ''[[Book:Maskerade|Maskerade]]'') - even having a house drop on her head has not knocked her out (see ''[[Book:Witches Abroad|Witches Abroad'']]). She also has one single tooth left - Nanny eating a pickled onion with gusto is a sight not soon to be forgotten.

It has been mentioned (especially by Granny Weatherwax) that in her youth, Nanny had an enthusiastic appreciation for the company of men. In [[The Art of Discworld]], it was also revealed that in her youth, she had dated [[Leonard da Quirm]], resulting in his painting ''[[Mona Ogg]]''.

In {{CJ}} Nanny states, while talking with [[Agnes Nitt|Agnes]] that, like Perdita, she's always been that part of her that wants to (metaphorically or no) strip her clothes off and run naked in the rain.

Nanny says that the key is to remember where you left your clothes.

==Related Oggs==
*Notable children of Nanny Ogg:
** [[Jason Ogg]]
** [[Wayne Ogg]]
** [[Darren Ogg]]
** [[Nev Ogg]]
** [[Shawn Ogg]]
** [[Shirl Ogg]]

*Notable grandchildren of Nanny Ogg:
** [[Pewsey Ogg]]
** [[Shane Ogg]]

==Misc==
* Nanny Ogg appeared on [http://news.bbc.co.uk/local/wiltshire/hi/people_and_places/arts_and_culture/newsid_9327000/9327675.stm Royal Mail stamps in 2011], and [https://terrypratchett.com/discworld/royal-mail-40th-anniversary-discworld-stamps/ again in 2023] for the fortieth anniversary of Discworld.

==Character Annotations==
* Unlike the names "Weatherwax", "Device" and "Garlick", the name Ogg came... from a [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.pratchett/msg/196e9c94edfbb4af phonebook].
* The name '''Gytha''' was inspired by [http://www.brighthelm.org/people/gytha Gytha North], a British fantasy fan and acquaintance of Terry's, whose love of music, and involvement in the {{wp|Filk music|filk music scene}} was probably the inspiration for Nanny's penchant for singing.
* Nanny's house's name, ''Tir Nanny Ogg''.... in Irish Gaelic mythology, ''Tír na nÓg'' is the Island of the Blessèd (the literal translation of the Gaelic 'Tír na nÓg' is 'Land of the Young'), the Celtic heaven set in the far West, beneath the setting sun. No doubt Heaven for Nanny, but Purgatory for the daughters-in-law... It is also the Land of the Ever-Young perhaps fitting with Nanny Ogg's desire to never act her age.
* The ancient Irish language Ogham appears in Discworld as ''Oggham''. In {{LL}}, Nanny Ogg claims her ancestors invented the Oggham language, although she might have been having one over on [[Casanunda]]; however, she ''is'' able to translate the Oggham above the door to the [[King of the Elves|Elf King's]] realm as [[The Long Man|"I've got a great big tonker."]]
* She is also a computer program: see [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ogg here]]. The makers of the software deny it is anything to do with her - although a later development was called [[Vorbis]]. Hmmm.

==Also See==
* [[wikipedia:Nanny Ogg|Nanny Ogg]] at [[wikipedia:Wikipedia|Wikipedia]]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Ogg, Nanny}}
[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[Category:Leading characters]]
[[Category:Serial characters]]
[[Category:Human characters]]
[[Category:Witches]]
[[de:Gytha Ogg]]

The gods

2026-06-04T00:33:09Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40807 by Abcdefabric (talk)

There are roughly 3,000 gods on the [[Discworld (world)|Discworld]] and research theologians are discovering more every day. Most people make the mistake of thinking that gods came first and then came the people to believe in them, when in fact the people came first, and then their belief created the gods. Gods and people go hand in hand: gods need people to believe in them, and people need something to blame. The system seems to work quite well.

Gods feed on belief. The more people believe in a god, the more powerful that god becomes. As gods lose belief, they become weaker and smaller. Once there are no more believers, the god becomes a mere echo of a voice on the wind. Some [[Small Gods|small gods]] are gods that were once powerful, others are gods ''in potentia'', as it were, waiting for someone to erect a small cairn, or pile of stones as a short prayer so that they can gain some power, perform a few miracles and gain believers.
It is revealed by [[Hughnon Ridcully]] in {{TT}} that gods can get sick, but from {{SG}} we already knew that gods can die from lack of belief.

Gods, of course, play games with the fates of men. The game they play is somewhere between [[Dungeons and Dragons]], Risk and Chess, with [[Exclusive Possession|Monopoly]] and Battleships thrown in for good measure along the way. Don't think the game is complicated though; gods don't have the patience for complex games. They prefer games that are short and violent. The game is played on a map of the world that is, on closer inspection, the world itself. If you look closely enough at the tiny pin that is [[Cori Celesti]] in the middle of the board, you can see the gods on top of it in their home of [[Dunmanifestin]], playing the game. If you look closer still, you can see the board with a tiny Cori Celesti and on top of that...

==Appearances==
The gods are described playing games with the fates of men in:
*{{COM}}
*{{SG}}
*{{IT}}
*{{TLH}}

Other appearances and notable mentions:
*{{P}} describes what happens when the whole pantheon of a country manifests all at once.
*{{SG}} describes the statues of the gods worshipped in [[Ephebe]]. It is also the first mention of a 'monotheistic' God, ([[Om]]).
*{{MR}} describes extensively the rules set forth by [[Nuggan]], the state god of [[Borogravia]].
*{{H}} makes mentions of several gods, and some of the new ones created due to a surplus of belief created by the disappearance of the [[Hogfather]], something of a god himself but later more of an [[anthropomorphic personification]].
*{{GP}} tells of an incident in which a man got several religions; the gods that he found are described.

==The Pantheon==
Discworld suffers from a surfeit of gods. New ones may be created at any time, and old ones fade away when no one believes any longer. Here is a (necessarily incomplete) list of some better-known deities from around the Disc.

===Gods of Dunmanifestin===
These gods, sometimes referred to as the gods of the "great consensus", are those in whom belief is most widespread on the Disc. This is partly because they take on many forms to draw belief from many cultures, sometimes with the aid of disguises. Their primary [[Roundworld]] influences are the Norse and Greek pantheons, with plenty of fantasy and other human cultures thrown in.
*[[Bibulous]], god of wine and things on sticks. Resembles John Belushi.
*[[Blind Io]], chief of the gods. His eyeless face is blindfolded, while many all-seeing eyeballs swarm around his head.
*[[Destiny]], guides promising young adventures to their heroic destiny.
*[[Errata]], the goddess of misunderstandings; a trouble-maker.
*[[Fate]], not to be tempted. Also not popular around the games table; he always wins.
*[[Fedecks]], messenger of the gods.
*[[Flatulus]], god of the winds.
*[[The Lady]], whose name is not spoken.
*The [[Monkey-god]], possibly based on [[Roundworld]]'s {{wp|Hanuman|Hanuman}}, mentioned as a member of the Dunmanifestin elite in {{TLH}}.
*[[Neoldian]], smith of the gods.
*[[Nuggan]], state god of Borogravia: a twit. Lately reduced to ''[[Small Gods|small god]]'' status.
*[[Offler]] of the Bird-Haunted Mouth: crocodile-headed and widely followed.
*[[Pedestriana]], Goddess of feet and pedal dexterity.
*the [[Sea-Goddess]] who loves dolphins and takes revenge on seaborne dolphin-abusers.
*[[Seven-Handed Sek]], says Vengeance is His.

===Other gods of the Main Continent===
*[[Aniger]], goddess of squashed animals - recent; possibly another "oh god" like Bilious.
*[[Anoia]], goddess of things that stick in drawers (formerly [[Lela]] the volcano goddess).
*[[Bilious]], oh god of hangovers.
*[[Bissonomy]]. She is currently an obscure Virtue, but according to [[Ancient and Classical Mythology|Chaffinch]], she was once a goddess and a consort of Blind Io.
*[[Epidity]] god of potatoes.
*[[God of Evolution]], survives without believers.
*[[Grune]], god of unseasonal fruit.
*[[Herne the Hunted]], god of small furry creatures.
*[[Hoki]], the jokester: banished from Dunmanifestin.
*[[Hyperopia]]. The goddess of shoes.
*[[God of Indigestion]], the personification of stomach ailments.
*[[Infernal Zoth, the Undying Renderer]].
*[[Iron Girder]], the first steam locomotive on Discworld, becomes a goddess due to acquiring worshippers, in the form of trainspotters, in {{RS}}.
*[[Jimi]], god of beggars.
*[[Lamentatio]]. goddess of interminably long opera.
*[[Libertina]], goddess of the sea, apple pie, certain types of ice cream, and short bits of string. May be the Sea-Goddess above.
*[[Moon goddess]], Druidic
*[[Narrativia (goddess)|Narrativia]], goddess associated with writing and writers
*[[Night]], a god for the easily impressed. Hard to see.
*[[Noddi]], creator god of [[NoThingfjord]]
*[[Nog-Humpty]] the custard god
*[[Om]], state god of Omnia; pays more attention lately.
*[[Pippina]], Goddess of chaos and discord. Almost certainly barred from Dunmanifestin after the Golden Apple incident.
*[[Reg]], god of club musicians.
*[[Resonata]], goddess of weasels.
*[[Saponaria]], goddess of soap and cleanliness
*[[Urika]], goddess of snow, saunas and theatrical performances for fewer than 120 people.
* [[Vomita]], possibly the [[Bilious|Oh Goddess]] of vomiting and violent purging.
*[[Wilf]], the god of astrology.
*[[God of Watchmen]], hypothetical god of watchmen, police and guards.
*[[Mad Snake God|The Mad Snake God]]
*[[Genua]] has many minor deities, created ''ad hoc'' (see Voodoo entities, below).

===Gods of [[Howondaland]]===
*[[Glipzo]] a tribal deity, inimical to the [[N'Tuitif]]
*[[P'tang P'tang]], the newt god; noted for a very small but devoted following.
*[[Quetzovercoatl]], Tezuman god of many parts - possibly only a [[Demons|demon]].
*[[The Luggage]], the Tezuman replacement of Quetzovercoatl after Quetzovercoatl was squashed by the Luggage.

===Gods of [[Ephebe]]===
*[[Astoria]], goddess of love.
*[[Foorgol]], avalanches.
*[[Patina]], goddess of wisdom : carries a penguin.
*[[Petulia]], goddess of negotiable affection.
*[[Tuvelpit]], wine. See ''Bibulous''.
*[[Zephyrus]], god of slight breezes.
*[[Cubal]], god of fire.
*[[Flatulus]], god of winds.
*[[Blind Io]], god of thunder (not only Ephebian).
*[[Fedecks]], message bringer of gods (not only Ephebian).

===Gods of [[Djelibeybi]]===
*[[Bast]], cat-headed goddess of things left on the doorstep or half-digested under the bed. Also in Dunmanifestin.
*[[Bunu]], goats.
*[[Cephnet]], a sun god.
*[[Cephut]], cutlery.
*[[Chefet]], dog-headed god of metalwork.
*[[Fhez]], crocodile-headed god of the lower Djel; easily confused with Offler.
*[[Gil]], a sun god.
*[[Hat]], vulture-headed god of unexpected guests.
*[[Khefin]], two-faced god of gateways.
*[[Sarduk]], goddess of caves : don't go there.
*[[Scrab]], pusher of the ball of the sun.
*[[Sessifret]], goddess of the afternoon and undisputed solar ruler after midday.
*[[Tzut]], snake-headed god of the upper Djel, enemy of Fhez.
*[[What]], sky goddess who eats the sun in the evening and plants one of its seeds to grow a new sun in the morning.
*[[Vut]], dog headed god of the evening

...plus eight Supreme gods, four Sole Rulers of the World of the Dead, and many more.

===[[Troll]] Gods===
*[[Chrondite]], god of love.
*[[Gigalith]], wisdom.
*[[Silicarous]], good fortune.
*[[Monolith]], demigod hero.

===[[Small Gods]]===
*[[Angus]]
*[[Om]] (prior to his resurgence)
*[[Ur-Gilash]]
*[[Czol]]
*[[Anu-anu]]
*[[Orm]]

===Gods of the [[Shaman]]===
*[[Topaxci, the God of the Red Mushroom]]
*[[Skelde, Spirit of the Smoke]]
*[[Umcherrel, the Soul of the Forest]]

===[[Voodoo]] Spirits of Genua===
*[[Mister Safe Way]]
*[[Lady Bon Anna]]
*[[Hotaloga Andrews]]
*[[Stride Wide Man]]
*[[Baron Saturday]] (following the events of [[Witches Abroad]]

===Other===
*[[Inn-Sewer-Ants|Inn-sewer-ants polly-sea]], Worshipped on the [[Brown Islands]]

And, of course, nearly three thousand more.

And while not exactly gods, we should mention the other residents of Cori Celesti, the '''[[Ice Giants|The Ice Giants]]''', who steadfastly refuse to return the lawn mower.

'''See also [[Supernatural Entities]] for individuals who are not formally worshipped but are sometimes more powerful than the gods.'''

==Other Gods and Deities in the non-Discworld writings of Terry Pratchett==

*'''Gods and God-like Entities of the [[Nomes]]:
**[[Arnold Bros (est. 1905)]]
**[[Grandson Richard, 39]]
**[[Bargains Galore]]!
**[[Prices Slashed]]
**[[the Maker of Clouds]]

*'''God-like Entities in {{GO}}
** the [[Metatron]]

[[Category:Supernatural entities|Gods, The]]
[[de:Götter]]

Fred Colon

2026-06-04T00:33:01Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40806 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Character Data
|title=Fred Colon
|photo=colonmine.jpg|Sgt. Fred Colon by [[user:darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name=Fred Colon
|age= close to retirement
|race=Human
|occupation=[[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]]
|appearance=
|residence=[[Ankh-Morpork]]
|death=
|parents=
|relatives= brother, with an anchor shaped birthmark
|children=Yes, even grandchildren
|marital status=Married
|books= {{G!G!}} {{MAA}} {{SM}} {{FOC}} {{J}} {{T5E}} {{TT}} {{TLH}} {{NW}} {{T!}}.
|cameos= {{COM}} {{GP}} {{MM}}
}}
'''Fred Colon''' is a long-time member of the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]], for most of that time a sergeant. Currently the most senior member of the Watch, he is "one of nature's sergeants": good at organising small tasks, rotas of various descriptions, whip-rounds and other informal funds; he is extremely bad at paperwork, keeping the [[Watchmen's Guild|wage chitty]] safe, and other officer's tasks. He is generally upfront about these deficiencies and subsequently has a low opinion about the practical capabilities of most formal Officers, with the major exclusion of Carrot and Sam Vimes (whom he considers to be honorary sergeants). He tends to be partnered with [[Nobby Nobbs]].

In between his first period of service in the Watch (described in {{NW}}) and his subsequent service (described in {{G!G!}} and subsequent books) Colon served in various Armies. His first service was with the [[Duke of Quirm's Middleweight Infantry Regiment]], followed by service with the [[Duke of Eorle|Duke of Eorle's]] First Heavy Infantry Regiment (the [[Pheasant Pluckers]]). Colon has seen front-line service, but still manages to cherish illusions about it, except when talking to [[Angua von Überwald]].

Physically, he is somewhat rotund and has been described as looking something like a pork butcher. Colon is a very average-[[Ankh-Morpork|Ankh-Morporkian]], complete with somewhat shallow prejudices against other nationalities and species, though he tends to mentally exclude fellow Watchmen and anyone he personally knows for any length of time. Like many Ankh-Morporkians, Colon likes street theatre, is nervous in the presence of [[Patrician|city dignitaries]], and is mildly illiterate. Colon may also be seen as representative of the "old Watch" . He doesn't actively ask for bribes or "protection fees" (unlike his predecessor [[Winsborough Knock|Sergeant Knock]]) but if a restaurant owner or a shop owner needs a small favor (like having a clamped cart released; see Traffic Division, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]]), they can give him a free meal or other things, and the problem will be easily solved. He doesn't like to chase criminals or rush into the fracas, because no good comes from dying on duty. He spends most of his patrol time leaning against some wall and having a quiet smoke. Thanks to this policy, almost none of the city's major landmarks have ever been stolen (except for the Unseen University, once, but that turned out to be a [[Unseen University|student]] prank).

For a short period of time, Colon was acting Captain of the Watch (in {{T5E}}) and confirmed what everyone, including himself, suspected. He was completely inadequate, having attacks of paranoia over the number of sugar cubes (which added up differently each time) and disciplining many other officers for largely imagined petty insubordination. This resulted in the other officers forming the [[Watchmen's Guild]]. He is currently holding dual position of Custody Officer and Watch Liaison Officer; chosen by Vimes because they are jobs so vague that no one is entirely sure what they entail, least of all Colon himself. They serve the dual purpose of preventing his brain from becoming overburdened with responsibility and avoiding the catastrophic possibility that he might be given a task of any real importance.

Fred has been married for many years. He has a wife, children, and even grandchildren, something of a rare achievement among Watchmen who tend to live hard and/or short lives. The success of his marriage has largely been put down to the fact that Mrs Colon works days and he works nights. Although he has talked about retirement, this does not seem likely to happen any time soon. In {{FOC}} he originally planned to buy a farm, but after a rather unpleasant experience with [[Rogers the Bulls|animals]] he may have decided to postpone this. Fred is extremely ingrained to his job; apart from anything else, the only non-uniform clothing he owns is a badly-fitting suit.

Closer examination, though, shows that Colon has some hidden depths. As Vimes thought it, most of the other watch officers saw a fat, stupid, lazy, cowardly man and that was mostly what was there, but Colon and Nobby have a street-level knowledge of Ankh-Morpork on a par with Vimes and are good at sensing tension in a crowd. Both are also survivors of the [[Glorious Revolution|Glorious 25th of May]], accompanied the [[Patrician]] deep into enemy territory (albeit unwillingly) during a war (see {{J}}) and shot an arrow at an actual [[Noble dragon]] from a rooftop (even though he had to change his underwear afterwards). Colon also performs his duties in {{T!}} fairly well. He is an amiable jailer, and bright enough to keep the keys in a closed tin box in the bottom drawer of his desk, well out of reach of anything an inmate would be able to use. His office, in a separate building from the main watch house, is frequented by old acquaintances who want somewhere quiet to get away from the wife, hear what's happening on the street and - in Vimes' words - "gossip like washerwomen." For this free-flowing source of information, Vimes considers the cost of donuts on an expense voucher a very favorable trade. As a survival of the old-style Watch, Fred is not above accepting those little gifts and inducements that oil the wheels of consensus policing. He is sensible enough to know the dividing line between a "perk" and an outright bribe and will not do anything Sam Vimes would disapprove of. He can also be presumed to ensure new Watch members know the difference too. In {{TT}}, it is revealed that he is not above trading information with journalists in return for "a little drinkie".

There are Colons everywhere. Due to [[Morphic resonance|morphic resonance]], you will find incarnations of Fred all over the multiverse. Some of the more major known incarnations are [[Doppelpunkt|Sergeant Doppelpunkt]] in [[Bad Blintz]], the officer [[Sam Vimes]] thinks of as "Colonesque" in [[Überwald]] and even [[Comely|Sergeant Ray Comely]] on [[Roundworld]].

== Annotations ==
* The name "Fred Colon" may be a reference to Fred Organ, a fat, benign, placid-tempered sergeant in ''The Virgin Soldiers'' by Leslie Thomas.

== Fan Art ==
<gallery mode=packed heights=300px>
File:Colon_HP.webp|By [[User:HeiryProblems|Mile Mićić]]
</gallery>

== See Also ==
* [[Wikipedia:Ankh-Morpork City Watch#Sergeant Fred Colon|Fred Colon's Entry]] on [[wikipedia:Wikipedia|Wikipedia]]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Colon, Fred}}
[[category:Discworld characters]]
[[category:Supporting characters]]
[[category:Serial characters]]
[[Category:Human characters]]
[[Category:Watchmen]]

[[de:Frederick Colon]]

Book:Carpe Jugulum

2026-06-04T00:32:54Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40805 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Book Data
|title=Carpe Jugulum
|cover=[[File:CarpeJugulum.jpg|thumb|240px|Cover art by Josh Kirby]]
|coauthors=
|illustrator=
|date=5th November 1998
|publisher=Doubleday
|isbn=9780385409926
|pages=285
|rrp=
|series=Witches Series
|characters=[[Granny Weatherwax]], [[Nanny Ogg]], [[Agnes Nitt]]
|annotations=yes
|notes=
}}
==Blurb==
[[Mightily Oats]] has not picked a good time to be a [[Omnia|priest]]. He thought he'd come to the mountain kingdom of [[Lancre]] for a simple little religious ceremony. Now he's caught up in a war between [[vampires]] and [[witches magic|witches]], and he's not sure there ''is'' a right side.

There're the witches – young [[Agnes Nitt|Agnes]], who is ''really'' in two minds about everything, [[Magrat Garlick|Magrat]], who is trying to combine witchcraft and nappies, [[Nanny Ogg]], who is far too knowing... and [[Granny Weatherwax]], who is big trouble.

And the vampires are ''intelligent'' – not easily got rid of with a garlic enema or by going to the window, grasping the curtains and saying, "I don't know about you, but isn't it a bit stuffy in here?"

They've got style and fancy waistcoats. They're [[Überwald|out of the casket]] and want a bite of the future.

Mightily Oats knows he has a prayer, but wishes he had an axe.

==Plot==
[[Count de Magpyr]], a vampire from [[Überwald]], and his family travel to [[Lancre]] where they are invited by King [[Verence II]] to attend the naming of [[Esmerelda Margaret Note Spelling of Lancre]], the newly born daughter of Queen [[Magrat Garlick]]. At the party, the vampires announce that they intend to move into Lancre Castle and take over the country, and due to a strange type of hypnotism everyone considers this to be perfectly acceptable. However, young witch [[Agnes Nitt]] and the priest, an [[Omnia|Omnian]] traveller called [[Mightily Oats]] are able to resist their power due to their split personalities. The Count's son [[Vlad de Magpyr|Vlad]] becomes attracted to Agnes, partly because of her resistance.

To make matters worse, the [[Vampires]] have used Self-Help style conditioning to become immune to the conventional menthods of disposing a vampire e.g. garlic, lemons, holy water, poppy seeds, sock theft, daylight and religious symbols. At the same time, they have taken to wearing normal clothes, staying up until noon and drinking wine. Agnes persuades Magrat and [[Nanny Ogg]] to find [[Granny Weatherwax]], their only hope. They find Granny Weatherwax living in a cave in seclusion and are unable to convince her to help.

Soon, they confront the vampires but look to be defeated and the Count only laughs at both their mob and Oats' own attempt at defiance. Granny Weatherwax arrives, stumbling and defeated and hardly intimidating, and the vampires succeed in giving her their bite. Granny appears destined to become a vampire, but afterwards she recovers in the care of Oats. Nanny Ogg travels to the vampires existing residence at [[Don'tgonearthe Castle]] in Überwald, where she meets [[Igor]], the Count's servant. Igor is resentful to the modernised Vampires who have constantly ridiculed his attempts to keep their castle in the same way as the former Count [[Bela de Magpyr]], a far more traditional vampire. He also appears to have a crush on Nanny.

Vlad and his ill-mannered sister [[Lacrimosa de Magpyr|Lacrimosa]] kidnap Agnes Nitt and takes her to Escrow, a town near Dontgonearthe Castle which the the Count considers to be a place of harmony between humans and the Vampires who follow the Count. In fact, the townspeople are totally subjugated to vampires who call in to take blood freely. In the town square, a change comes over the Vampires: Lacrimosa attacks Agnes in a strangely pathetic manner, several townspeople succeed in killing a vampire, and Vlad falls to temptation and bites Agnes although again, there is no permanent effect. It is discovered that the vampires have become weakened, have lost their ability to fly and instead of craving blood, are now becoming desperate for tea and biscuits. They are becoming susceptible to conventional methods of vampire disposal.

Dontgonearthe Castle becomes the scene of a final confrontation between the Vampires and united citizens of Escrow and Lancre. The Vampires have become terrified of their weakness but the Count remains as strong as ever, due to his complete faith in staying immune, and takes baby Esmerelda as a hostage. Granny Weatherwax arrives (having been carried by Oats) and reveals that instead of her being made into a vampire, the vampires have become 'Weatherwaxed'. By sharing her blood, the vampires have inadvertently allowed themselves to be controlled by Granny (via [[Borrowing]]) into not being able to do certain things such as flying or harming young Esme.

The vampires are further horrified when it is revealed that Igor (who considers the loss of his dog to be the last straw) has rebelled against them and brought back the Old Count by pouring blood on his ashes. The traditional thinking of the Old Count quickly proves far more popular with the people from Escrow than modern vampirism. Finally, Oats returns and with a new-found confidence gives the New Count a fatal axe wound, although Granny points out that the vampires may return again after many years, centuries or millennia. The Old Count is left in charge of Escrow by popular demand, and is charged by Granny to teach the two young Magpyrs the "old ways' (ie - stupidity). The three vampires then turn into a flock of magpies and disappear into the darkness of the roof of the castle, while the witches return to Lancre.

==Characters==
===Main Characters===
*[[Granny Weatherwax]]
*[[Nanny Ogg]]
*[[Agnes Nitt]]
*[[Mightily Oats]]
*[[Magrat Garlick]]
*[[Verence II]]
*[[Esmerelda Margaret Note Spelling of Lancre]]
*[[Count de Magpyr]]
*[[Bela de Magpyr]]
*[[Vlad de Magpyr]]
*[[Lacrimosa de Magpyr]]

===Minor Characters===
*[[Igor]]
*[[Scraps]] (or Thcrapth)
*[[Greebo]]
*[[Hodgesaargh]]
*[[Giamo Casanunda]]
*[[Shawn Ogg]]

===Cameos and Mentions===
*[[Brutha]]
*[[Simony]]
*[[Ossory]]
*[[Big Jim Beef]]
*[[Magyrato]]
*[[Carmilla de Magpyr]]
*Mrs [[Patternoster]]
*John and [[Florence Ivy]]
*[[Scorbic]]
*[[Bestiality Carter]]
*[[Big Aggie]]
*[[Bergholt Stuttley Johnson]]

==Locations==
*[[Lancre]]
**[[Lancre Town]]
**[[Lancre Castle]]
**[[Lancre Bridge]]
**[[Long Lake Clan|The Long Lake]]
*[[Überwald]]
**[[Slake]] (mentioned)
**[[Don'tgonearthe Castle]]
**[[Klotz]] (mentioned)
**[[Escrow]]
*[[Ohulan Cutash]] (mentioned)
*[[Ghat]] (mentioned)
*[[Kashncari]] (mentioned)

==Things and Concepts==
*[[Phoenix ]]
*[[Nac Mac Feegle]]
*[[Kelda]]
*The [[Muntab]] Question
*[[Ich bin Ein Rattarsedschwein]]
*[[Lancrastian Army Knife]]

==Annotations==
The title of the book is a parody of the phase ''Carpe Diem'' ("Seize the day") and roughly translates as "Go for the throat".

<blockquote>
'Buffaloeth,' said Igor, unlocking another door.
'He broke out in them?'
'A herd fell on him. A freak acthident. We don't talk about it.'
</blockquote>

Possible reference to the Canadian attraction https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Head-Smashed-In_Buffalo_Jump where natives would drive buffalo off a cliff to kill them. A young warrior wanted to watch the buffalo plunge off the cliff from below. While we don't know his exact thoughts, the last thing to go through his head was... a herd of buffalo.

‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<blockquote>
'But there's werewolves and vampires and-'
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
'Yes, but not everywhere. We should be safe on the main road. Anyway, there's not much of a choice.'
</blockquote>

Possibly referring to the cult classic film 'An American Werewolf in London' (1981), in which the two main characters are told repeatedly:

<blockquote>
'Stay off the moors, lads. Stick to the road'
</blockquote>

==Adaptations==
===[[Theatre Adaptations|Theatre]]===
Adapted by [[Stephen Briggs]] into a stage play in 1999.

==Gallery==
{|
|-
| valign="top" | [[File:CJ First.jpg|thumb|120px|First Edition Cover by [[Josh Kirby]]]]
| valign="top" | [[File:CJ Black.jpg|thumb|110px|Paperback 2004]]
| valign="top" | [[File:CJ Tape.jpg|thumb|120px|Audio Cassette]]
| valign="top" | [[File:CJ CD.jpg|thumb|140px|Audio CD]]
| valign="top" | [[File:CJ CDG.jpg|thumb|110px|Cover by Carl D. Galian]]
| valign="top" | [[File:CJ US.jpg|thumb|110px|US Cover]]
| valign="top" | [[File:CJ Zoom.jpg|thumb|110px|Paperback 2012]]
|}
{|
|-
| valign="top" | [[File:CJ CL.jpg|thumb|110px|[[Discworld Collector’s Library]] Edition]]
| valign="top" | [[File:CJ 2022.jpg|thumb|110px|Paperback 2022]]
|}

==External Links==
[http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/carpe-jugulum.html ''Carpe Jugulum'' Annotations - The Annotated Pratchett File]

{{series|before=The Last Continent|series=Discworld|after=The Fifth Elephant}}
{{series|series=Witches|before=Maskerade|after=The Wee Free Men}}

[[Category:Discworld Series|Carpe Jugulum]]
[[Category:Witches Series|Carpe Jugulum]]
[[de:Buch:Ruhig Blut!]]

Librarian

2026-06-04T00:32:47Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40804 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Character Data
|title= The Librarian
|photo=librarianmine.jpg|The Librarian by [[user:darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name= Dr. [[Horace Worblehat]]
|age= Unknown
|race= {{wp|Orang-utan|Orang-utan}}, originally [[Humans|Human]]
|occupation= Librarian of the [[Unseen University]]
|appearance= About 300lb, very long arms, reddish-brown hair (all over).
|residence= [[Library|The Library of the Unseen University]]
|death=
|parents=
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status= Single
|books={{TLF}}, {{ER}}, {{S}}, {{G!G!}}, {{E}}, {{RM}}, {{MAA}}, {{SM}}, {{IT}}, {{M!!!}}, {{TLC}}, {{TLH}}, {{SOD1}}, {{SOD2}}, {{SOD3}}, {{UA}}
|cameos={{M}}, {{WS}}, {{SG}},{{J}}, {{LL}}, {{GP}}, {{MM}}, {{T!}} {{H}}, {{NW}}, {{MP}},
}}
The '''Librarian''' of [[Unseen University]] [[Library]], where many magical events precipitate. He has the following UU awards; DThau & Professor in L-Space Studies.

==Biography==
The Librarian is a faculty member, and was once human wizard named Dr. [[Horace Worblehat]]. A strong wave of [[magic]], altering reality, transformed the Librarian into an orang-utan, ''Pongo pongo'', native of [[Bhangbhangduc]] and nearby islands; at that time, his colleagues still remembered how he looked as a human ({{TLF}}). Back then, wizards were much too busy to help him get back to his original human form (although there is no record of his asking for help, either). After things settled down, the Librarian's colleagues found that he liked being an orang-utan, and fought all efforts to transform him back to human. The Librarian found out that opposable toes come in very handy when climbing up the book-shelves and sorting books. Also, a very large and strong orang-utan has more plausible arguments when talking about dog-ears and overrun return deadlines. Although the senior wizards looked very hard for one, there are no rules in the university constitution forbidding an orang-utan to be a member of the college council.

In appearance he has the rubber-sack-filled-with-water look of a well grown, 300lb male. He has not, however, developed the overlarge cheek pads that are a feature of the dominant male orang-utan, and this is because, as an ex-officio member of the University [[Faculty|faculty]] he quite rightly regards the [[Archchancellor]] as the dominant male, even though most Archchancellors do not sit high up in trees with leaves on their heads.

Very soon, people forgot how the Librarian looked as a human, or what his given name was (though the latter is true for most other faculty members as well). This was helped along by the Librarian methodically removing, defacing or otherwise altering any and all photographs and records of his name in the University files - and by the constant infighting at the university, especially during the brief but terrible reign of [[Coin]] the Sourcerer, resulting in the demise of a considerable number of such wizards as had known him as a human: part of the premise for the events of ''[[The Last Continent]]'' is that [[Rincewind]] is one of the few remaining wizards to have actually survived University life since before the transformation, and thus is likely to know the Librarian's human name (although the reason for wanting to know it is to cure him of a cold, but by the time the wizards catch up with Rincewind, their accidental holiday has already done the Librarian a power of good, he has made a full recovery and nobody needs to ask Rincewind about the Librarian's identity.) It is rumoured that the Librarian was once Dr [[Horace Worblehat]], but no one utters this out loud. We do know however that he was born in [[Moon Pond Lane]], [[Ankh-Morpork]], and that for centuries his ancestors were upstanding feed-and-corn merchants. Nowadays, only people very new to the University or Ankh-Morpork will find themselves surprised that there is an orang-utan in a University Library, or in a [[The Mended Drum|pub]]. Indeed, if someone were to point out that there is an orang-utan in the library, the wizards would probably ask the librarian if he had seen it.

All the Librarian ever utters is 'oook' or 'eeek', but by now the wizards, and especially [[Rincewind]], are so used to this that they understand the Librarian perfectly. They can even translate the merest 'oook' into full-fledged literary English sentences.

The Librarian is a member of the Librarians of Time and Space, and has the understanding of the power of [[L-Space]], and has used these powers to appear at [[Library of Ephebe|certain times]] to ensure the safety of particular books, bringing them home to his precious Library at UU.

During the events of ''[[The Last Continent]]'', the Librarian's morphic field became highly unstable whilst he was suffering a severe cold. This instability manifested as a tendency, each time he sneezed, to transform into whatever shape best suited his immediate surroundings, e.g. a book ("The Story Of Ook"), a deck chair, a large penguin, a dolphin. Perhaps because his usual and preferred form as an orang-utan so suits his deeper nature, all such alternative shapes retained his luxurious coat of long red hair.

==Character==
When worried, the Librarian tends to hide under a blanket in his book-lined nest in a cubby hole under a desk in the middle of the library. He is generally naked but he does wear an old green robe after he has had a bath. He is also a [[Specials|Special Constable]] of the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]]. In his spare time he visits the pub, leaving a trail of peanut shells behind. Now and again he hops over the wall into the [[Patrician]]'s Palace [[Menagerie]] by night and is said to emerge the next morning looking exremely refreshed and relaxed. It is unclear as to what he actually ''does'' in there, as the Menagierie houses no orang-utans of either sex.

Despite his usually easy going nature, it should be noted that the Librarian is an {{wp|Ape|ape}} rather than a [[monkey]] and is extremely eager to correct people on the subject in uncharacteristically violent ways. He can also become physically assertive when enforcing the prohibition against open flame inside the University's library, or when otherwise acting in defense of his literary charges. Tending to books, the Librarian displays an excellent bedside manner, gently stroking distressed or damaged texts to soothe them as he conducts repairs.

The Librarian appears in almost every Discworld book, and is the source for the constant engagement of Terry Pratchett and his fans for the [[Orangutan Foundation]]. He has yet to be the focus of a Discworld novel; Pratchett admits that an inner monologue that consists entirely of 'ook' is not particularly engaging.

Nicholas Tennant played The Librarian (as well as [[Horace Worblehat|Dr. Horace Worblehat]]) in the TV adaption of {{TCOM}}. He also played [[Nobby Nobbs]] in the TV adaptation of {{H}}.

==An interesting footnote==
The collective noun for a group of orang-utans is a ''buffoonery''. There may only be one orang in the University [[Faculty]], yet this is the grouping this orang is forced, by circumstance, to associate with and seek shelter within....

== Annotation ==

There may be an influence here from {{wp|Little Fuzzy|Little Fuzzy}} by {{wp|H. Beam Piper|H. Beam Piper}}, which features a culture of (small, cute, furry) sentient aliens whose language to an untrained human ear sounds like nothing but instances of 'Yeek!'

==External Links==
[http://www.orangutan.org The Orang-Utan Foundation] 
[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orangutan Orangutan on Wikipedia]

:
[[Category:Discworld characters|Librarian]]
[[category:Supporting characters|Librarian]]
[[category:Serial characters|Librarian]]
[[Category:Wizards|Librarian]]
[[Category:Watchmen]]
[[de:Bibliothekar]]

Book:Witches Abroad

2026-06-04T00:32:41Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40803 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Book Data
|title=Witches Abroad
|cover=[[File:Cover Witches Abroad.jpg|thumb|240px|Cover art by Josh Kirby]]
|coauthors=
|illustrator=
|date=November 1991
|publisher=Victor Gollancz
|isbn=0552134651
|pages=288
|rrp=
|series=Witches Series
|characters=[[Granny Weatherwax]], [[Nanny Ogg]], [[Magrat Garlick]], [[Lily Weatherwax]]
|annotations=
|notes=Book #12
}}
==Blurb==
It seemed an easy job ...

After all, how difficult could it be to make sure that a servant girl doesn't marry a prince?

But for the [[witches magic|witches]] [[Granny Weatherwax]], [[Nanny Ogg]] and [[Magrat Garlick]], traveling to the distant city of [[Genua]], things are never that simple ...

For one thing, all they've got is [[Erzulie Gogol|Mrs. Gogol]]'s voodoo, a [[Greebo|one-eyed cat]] and a second-hand magic wand that can only do pumpkins. And they're up against the malignant power of the [[Fairy-Godmothering|Godmother]] herself, who has made Destiny an offer it can't refuse. And finally there's the sheer power of the Story. Servant girls have to marry the Prince. That's what life is all about.

You can't fight a Happy Ending.

At least – up until now ...

==Plot==
After the death of [[Desiderata Hollow]], a witch and Fairy Godmother, [[Magrat Garlick]] inherits her wand. Magrat is not able to do much with it other than turn things into pumpkins. Desiderata had promised to a young woman in [[Genua]] called [[Ella Saturday|Emberella]] to protect her from being forced to marry the [[Duc]], a frog prince. Magrat has thus inherited her status as Fairy Godmother and must protect Emberella from being forced to marry him, even though a witch called [[Lily Weatherwax|Lilith]] is trying to arrange this. She leaves for Genua with [[Granny Weatherwax]] and [[Nanny Ogg]]. Their journey takes some time and features several scenes that reference well-known fairytales.

In Genua, Magrat meats Emberella while the two other witches meet local voodoo witch [[Erzulie Gogol]] and her servant [[Baron Saturday]] (a zombie). Magrat realizes that Emberella has two fairy godmothers, her and Lilith. Lilith has turned Genua into a police state, forcing the citizens to be happy and live as though they are in a fairytale. Those who don't fill their roles properly are arrested, including a toymaker who is not jolly enough and an innkeeper who is too thin. She is revealed to be [[Lily Weatherwax]], the sister of Granny, and she was also responsible for setting up many of the adventures during the witches' journey to Genua.

Granny convinces Magrat to attend the Masked Ball in place of Emberella, although the glass slippers do not fit her. The witches are caught and imprisoned, but Emberella, Gogol and Baron Saturday rescue them. The high concentration of Magic causes the Duc to turn back into a frog and he is squashed by Baron Saturday. As Lily flees, Gogol tries to stop her with a voodoo doll in an attempt to kill her, but Granny stops her. She then pursues her sister alone.

It is revealed that Baron Saturday was the former ruler of Genua and that Emberella is his daughter, so she becomes the new ruler. Her first act is to order an end to the Ball, as she decides she would prefer to go drinking at a Mardi Gras parade instead. Granny defeats Lily by trapping her in a mirror. With Genua now liberated, the witches now return home. Granny shows Margrat how to use the wand to do magic, but Magrat eventually decides to throw it away.

==Characters==
===Main Characters===
*[[Granny Weatherwax|Esme Weatherwax]]
*[[Nanny Ogg]]
*[[Magrat Garlick]]
*[[Greebo]]
*[[Lily Weatherwax|Lily]] aka Lilith de Tempscire
*[[Ella Saturday|Emberella]]
*[[Mrs Pleasant]]
*[[Erzulie Gogol]]
*[[Baron Saturday]]

===Minor Characters===
* [[Casanunda|Count Casanunda]]
* [[Death]]
* The [[Duc]], a frog prince
* [[Desiderata Hollow]]

===Cameos and Mentions===
*[[Birthday, Frog-like humanoid thing with a|Frog-like humanoid thing with a Birthday]]
* [[Voodoo]] gods created by Mrs Gogol
** [[Mister Safe Way]], whose name parodies a supermarket
** [[Lady Bon Anna]],
** [[Hotaloga Andrews]],
** [[Stride Wide Man]]
* [[Al-Ybi|Seriph of Al-Ybi]] (mentioned)
* [[Glod]] (mentioned), a severely inconvenienced [[dwarfs|dwarf]]
* [[Chert]], a [[trolls|troll]] who works at a sawmill and sells coffins at a good price
* [[Albert Hurker]], aka "Hurker the Poacher"
* [[Gammer Brevis]], a witch
* [[Old Mother Dismass]], a witch
* [[Granny Hopliss]], a dead witch
* Mrs [[Singe]], a dead witch
* [[Mabel Peavey|Gammer Peavey]], a witch who died mountain climbing
* [[Simplicity Garlick]], [[Magrat Garlick]]'s mother
* [[Araminta Garlick]], Magrat Garlick's grandmother (probably maternal)
* [[Yolande Garlick]], Magrat Garlick's aunt
* [[Shane Ogg]], Nanny Ogg's grandson
* [[Millie Hopgood]], a girl from [[Slice]] with a squint, suggested as a replacement for Desiderata Hollow
* [[Gertie Simmons]], a witch with a very bad squint
* [[Sophia Ogg]], Nanny Ogg's great-aunt
* [[Jason Ogg]], master blacksmith/farrier, Nanny Ogg's son, who knows [[the Horseman's Word]]
* [[Shawn Ogg|Sean Ogg]] (mentioned), Nanny Ogg's son(?)
* Mr [[Vernissage]], a hatter in [[Slice]] whose makes 'very' strong hats
* [[Guy de Yoyo]], an explorer who discovered the Disc's 2nd-highest waterfall in the [[Discworld calendar|Year of the Revolving Crab]]
* [[Legba]], a spirit in the form of a rooster (or perhaps just a big black cock)
* [[Goodie Whemper]], Magrat's predecessor and mentor
* [[Lagro te Kabona]], innkeeper
* [[Mister Frank]], a card sharp
* [[Yen Buddhism]], an extremely rich religious sect (parodying {{wp|Zen|Zen Buddhism}})
* [[Black Aliss]] (mentioned)
* [[Deliria Skibbly]] (mentioned)
* [[Sumpkins]] (mentioned), a dirty old man who lodged with Nanny Ogg's grandmother
* [[Shaker Wistley]], footwear fetishist
* [[Ronald the Third]], unpleasant Lancre king whose name is rhyming slang for something nasty (mentioned)
* [[Mr Wilkins]] (mentioned). Granny made him '''think''' he was a frog after he insulted her
* [[Mr Travis]], senior footman
* [[Beryl Ogg]], Nanny's sister (mentioned)
* Guests at the Ball
** [[Henry Gleet]] and [[Lady Gleet]]
** [[Douglas Incessant]]
** [[Kompt de Yoyo]]
** [[Magrat|Mysterious and Beautiful Stranger]]
** [[Volentia D'Arrangement]], who's approximately Granny's size, dress-wise
** [[Captain de Vere]], of the Palace Guard
** [[Sir Roger the Coverley]]
** [[Colonel Moutarde]], whose name parodies {{wp|List_of_Cluedo_characters|Colonel Mustard}} from ''Cluedo'' (North American: ''Clue''.)

==Locations==
* [[Ramtop Mountains]]
**[[Lancre]]
***[[Lancre Town]]
*** [[Bear Mountain]], a 'bare' mountain, not a mountain with bears on it
*** [[Broken Mountain]] (mentioned)
*** [[Creel Springs]] (mentioned)
* [[Sto Plains]] (mentioned)
*[[Überwald]]
*[[Borogravia]]
*[[Genua]]
* [[Vieux River]]

==Events and Timeframes==
* [[Fat Tuesday]] aka Mardi Gras aka Samedi Nuit Mort (literally, "Saturday Night Dead", parodying the TV show {{wp|Saturday_Night_Live|Saturday Night Live}}
* Although the Roundworld Carnival and Mardi Gras occur in late winter, just before Lent, Genua's Carnival occurs in the fall; Terry appears to have calqued it upon the Haitian Night of the Dead (All Hallows' Eve), when Voudon worshippers beat drums in cemeteries to awaken the dancing Lord of the Dead Baron Samedi (Saturday) and his troupe of Gede revelers; the Duc's masked ball relates the night to the Halloween tradition.

==Items and Concepts==
* [[magic wand]]
* [[Marietta_Cosmopilite|Way of Mrs Cosmopilite]], mentioned
* [[Path of The Scorpion]], a book(?) written by [[Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler|Grand Master Lobsang Dibbler]]
* [[With Wand and Broomstick Across the Great Nef Desert]], chapter heading of one of [[Desiderata Hollow]]'s books
* [[magrats]], trousers for women
* [[dwarf bread]]
* [[Hedgehog Song]]
* [[That Thing With The Bulls]], parodying the [[Roundworld]] {{wp|Running_of_the_Bulls|Running of the Bulls}} in Pamplona, Spain (and other locations)
* [[Cripple Mister Onion]], a card game
* [[Chase My Neighbour Up the Passage]], a game (mentioned)
* [[Three-Banded Coit]], type of snake
* [[Klatchian Candle]], firework parodying {{wp|Roman_candle (firework)|Roman Candle}}

==Annotations==
* Even though they're on a presumably "covert" mission, Nanny hands her letters to the nearest passer-by for delivery. Does this seem wise? And none of them arrived before she did.

* 'In some foreign parts "bum" means "tramp" and "tramp" means "hobo"' - On [[Roundworld]], this is true for American English. The full chain goes something like this: "American [kitty] = British fanny", "American fanny = British bum", "American bum = British tramp", "American tramp = uh, ... lady of easy virtue". Interestingly, we've never seen any part of DiscWorld that's similar to the USA. (Even though the riverboat ride down the Vieux River is irrestibly close to the high life of the antebellum Deep South, what with a floating pleasure palace for the gentry, and slaves, ie chained trolls, providing the motive power to turn the wheels of the boat. Could have been the Mississipi running down to the Delta and N'awlins, y'all...)

* While travelling down a subterranean river, a creature climbs out of the water on a log, declaring to the witches that, "It's my birthday." This is a reference to the character {{wp|Gollum|Gollum}} from ''The Hobbit'' and ''Lord of the Rings'' books, who acquired the One Ring on his birthday.

* While walking down a road paved with yellow bricks, a small farm house lands on Nanny Ogg, the only one of the witches wearing red boots. Shortly afterward, a group of dwarves show up asking if they can have her boots. In ''The Wizard of Oz'', the Wicked Witch of the East is crushed by Dorothy Gale's farmhouse and her sparkly red shoes are given to the witchicidal young woman.

==Gallery==
{|
|-
| valign="top" | [[File:WA First.jpg|110px|thumb|First Edition Cover by [[Josh Kirby]]]]
| valign="top" | [[File:WA Proof.jpg|thumb|120px|Book Proof]]
| valign="top" | [[File:WA Letterbox.jpg|thumb|120px|'Letterbox' Hardback]]
| valign="top" | [[File:WA PS.jpg|thumb|110px|Cover by Peter Scanlan]]
| valign="top" | [[File:WA Black.jpg|thumb|110px|Paperback 2004]]
| valign="top" | [[File:WA Tape.jpg|thumb|120px|Audio Cassette]]
| valign="top" | [[File:WA CD.jpg|thumb|140px|Audio CD]]
|}
{|
|-
| valign="top" | [[File:WA Roc.jpg|thumb|100px|Paperback ROC Publishing]]
| valign="top" | [[File:WA US.jpg|thumb|110px|US Cover]]
| valign="top" | [[File:WA Zoom.jpg|thumb|110px|Paperback 2012]]
| valign="top" | [[File:WA Unseen.jpg|thumb|120px|Unseen Library Edition]]
| valign="top" | [[File:WA CL.jpg|thumb|110px|[[Discworld Collector’s Library]] Edition]]
| valign="top" | [[File:WA 2022.jpg|thumb|110px|Paperback 2022]]
|}

==External Links==
[http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/witches-abroad.html ''Witches Abroad'' Annotations - The Annotated Pratchett File]

{{series|before=Reaper Man|series=Discworld|after=Small Gods}}
{{series|series=Witches|before=Wyrd Sisters|after=Lords and Ladies}}

[[Category:Discworld Series|Witches Abroad]]
[[Category:Witches Series|Witches Abroad]]
[[de:Buch:Total verhext]]

Klatch

2026-06-04T00:32:34Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40802 by Abcdefabric (talk)

There are two places on the [[Discworld (world)|Discworld]] called [[Klatch]]:
*[[Klatch (country)]]
*[[Klatch (continent)]]

In the book {{TDSOTS}}, there is a third meaning: a ''klatch'' is a name for a congregation in the [[Arte Sadhim|Sadhim]]ist religion.

[[de:Klatsch]]
[[Category:Disambiguations]]

Book:Wyrd Sisters

2026-06-04T00:32:26Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40801 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Book Data
|title=Wyrd Sisters
|cover=[[File:Cover Wyrd Sisters.jpg|thumb|240px|Cover art by Josh Kirby]]
|coauthors=
|illustrator=
|date=November 1988
|publisher=Victor Gollancz
|isbn=0575043636
|pages=251
|rrp=
|series=Witches Series
|characters=[[Esme Weatherwax]], [[Nanny Ogg]], [[Magrat Garlick]]
|annotations=yes
|notes= Book #06
}}
==Blurb==
[[Witches magic|Witches]] are not by their nature gregarious, and they certainly don't have leaders.

[[Granny Weatherwax]] was the most highly-regarded of the leaders they didn't have.

But even she found that meddling in royal politics was a lot more difficult than certain playwrights would have you believe ...

==Characters==
===Main characters===
* [[Esme Weatherwax]]
* [[Nanny Ogg]]
* [[Magrat Garlick]]
* King [[Verence I|Verence]]
* [[Leonal Felmet]] and [[Lady Felmet]]
* The [[Verence II|Fool]]
* [[Tomjon|Tomjon Vitoller]]
* [[Olwyn Vitoller]]
* [[Hwel]]

===Minor characters===
* [[Death]]

===Cameos and Mentions===
* [[Goodie Whemper]], now dead witch who tutored Magrat
* Former Lancre Kings and Queens
** [[Champot]]
** Queen [[Grimnir]], the Impaler (1514*1553, 1553*1557, 1557*1562, 1562*1567 and 1568*1573) [note the [[57]] reference in her 2nd reign], a vampire queen
* [[Bentzen]], ruthlessly efficient killer
*[[Havelock Vetinari ]]

==Locations==
* [[Ramtops]]
**[[Lancre]]
***[[Lancre Castle]]
**** [[Long Gallery]], gallery of regal portraits
*** [[The Standing Stone]]
** [[Mad Wolf]] (mentioned)
** [[Razorback]] (mentioned)
*[[Ankh-Morpork]]
* [[Klatch]] (mentioned)
* [[Thespia]] (mentioned)
* [[Howondaland]] (mentioned)
* [[Hergen]] (mentioned)
* [[Sto Plains]] (mentioned)

==Sentient Species==
*[[Dwarfs]]
*[[Humans]]

==Supernatural Entities==
* [[Death]]
* [[Ghosts]]
* [[The gods|The Gods]] (mentioned)
* [[Demons]]

==Things/etc Referenced==
* [[Cripple Mister Onion]]
* [[Zen]], sub-sect of the philosophical system of [[Sumtin]] ("something"?)
* [[Hedgehog_song|The Hedgehog Can Never be Buggered at All]], a drinking song w/ anal undertones
* [[A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On The End]], a drinking song w/ phallic overtones

==[[Roundworld]] References==
* {{wp|Hamlet|Hamlet}} and {{wp|Macbeth|Macbeth}}, plays by {{wp|William_Shakespeare|William Shakespeare}} (both in the main storyline and the play Hwel writes for Felmet)
* {{wp|Snakes_and_ladders|Snakes and Ladders}}, a child's game (aka "Chutes and Ladders")
* {{wp|Gormenghast_%28castle%29|Gormenghast}}, a foreboding fictional castle (also mentioned in {{ER}})
* {{wp|Zen|Zen}}, a philosophical system
* The Marx Brothers (one of Hwel's discarded ideas)
* Charlie Chaplin (one of Hwel's discarded ideas)
* Laurel and Hardy (one of Hwel's discarded ideas)

==Adaptations==
{{TV Data
|title=Wyrd Sisters from Terry Pratchett's Discworld
|cover=[[File:WyrdSistersDVDCover.jpg|200px]]
|asin=B00004CV82
|imdb=0159931
|date=18 May 1997
|channel=Channel 4
|director=Jean Flynn
|producer=
|cast=Christopher Lee, Jane Horrocks, June Whitfield
|duration=147 minutes
|episodes=6
|series=Witches Series
|annotations=
|notes=
|prev=[[Welcome to the Discworld]]
|next=[[TV and Film:Soul Music|Soul Music]]
}}
===[[TV and Film:Wyrd Sisters|Television]]===
Wyrd Sisters became a six-part animated television adaptation of the book of the same name by Terry Pratchett, produced by Cosgrove Hall, and first broadcast on 18 May 1997. It was the second film adaptation of an entire Discworld novel (following the ''[[Welcome to the Discworld]]'' short, which was based on a fragment of the novel Reaper Man, and the Soul Music series). The VHS release spanned three tapes.

Cast:
* [[Granny Weatherwax]] - [[Wikipedia:Annette Crosbie|Annette Crosbie]] (''One Foot in the Grave, Edward the Seventh'')
* [[Nanny Ogg]] - [[Wikipedia:June Whitfield|June Whitfield]] (''Terry and June, Last of the Summer Wine'')
* [[Magrat Garlick]] - [[Wikipedia:Jane Horrocks|Jane Horrocks]] (''Little Voice, Chicken Run'')
* [[Death]] - [[Wikipedia:Christopher Lee|Christopher Lee]] (''The Wicker Man, The Man with the Golden Gun, Lord of the Rings'' trilogy)
* [[Leonal Felmet|Duke Felmet]]/[[WxrtHltl-jwlpklz]] - Rob Rackstraw
* [[Lady Felmet]] - [[Wikipedia:Eleanor Bron|Eleanor Bron]] (''Help!'', the voice of ''BT'')
* [[Verence II|The Fool]]/[[Tomjon]] - [[Wikipedia:Les Dennis|Les Dennis]] (''Family Fortunes'')
* Additional Voices - [[Wikipedia:Jimmy Hibbert|Jimmy Hibbert]]

===[[Theatre Adaptations|Theatre]]===
In 1991 ''Wyrd Sisters'' was the first ever Discworld novel to be adapted for the stage by [[Stephen Briggs]]. The script was published in 1996.

===[[Radio Adaptations|Radio]]===
A 4-part dramatisation was performed for BBC Radio 4 in 1995. Adapted by Vince Foxall, directed by Claire Grove.

Cast:
*Sheila Hancock: [[Esmerelda Weatherwax|Granny Weatherwax]]
*Lynda Baron: [[Gytha Ogg|Nanny Ogg]]
*Deborah Berlin: [[Magrat Garlick]]
*Ian Masters: [[Leonal Felmet|Duke Felmet]]
*Kristin Milward: [[Lady Felmet]]
*John Hartley: [[Verence I|King Verence]]
*Andrew Branch: [[Verence II|Fool]]
*Gavin Muir: [[Olwyn Vitoller]], Demon
*Natasha Pine: Mrs Vitoller
*Brian Hibbard: [[Hwel]]
*Roger May: [[Tomjon]]
*Brian Hibbard: [[Shawn Ogg]]
*[[Death]]: [[Death]]

==Gallery==
<gallery mode="nolines">
File:WS First.jpg|First Edition Cover by [[Josh Kirby]]
File:WS Proof.jpg|Book Proof
File:WS Letterbox.jpg|'Letterbox' Hardback
File:WS Kidd.jpg|New American Library, Cover by Thomas Kidd
File:WS Black.jpg|Paperback 2004
File:WS Tape.jpg|Audio Cassette
File:WS CD.jpg|Audio CD
File:WS Roc.jpg|Paperback ROC Publishing
File:WS US.jpg|US Cover
File:WS Zoom.jpg|Paperback 2012
File:WS Unseen.jpg|[[Unseen Library]] Edition
File:WS CL.jpg|[[Discworld Collector’s Library]] Edition
File:WS RO.jpg|Cover by Richard Ogle 2019
File:WS 2022.jpg|Paperback 2022
</gallery>

==External links==
[http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/wyrd-sisters.html ''Wyrd Sisters'' Annotations - The Annotated Pratchett File]

{{series|before=Sourcery|series=Discworld|after=Pyramids}}
{{series|series=Witches|before=Equal Rites|after=Witches Abroad}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Wyrd Sisters}}
[[Category:Discworld Series]]
[[Category:Witches Series]]
[[de:Buch:MacBest]]

Djelibeybi

2026-06-04T00:32:08Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40800 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Nation Data
|title= Djelibeybi
|picture=Blank.jpg|
|established=ca 7000 years ago
|motto=

|neighbours= [[Tsort]] and [[Ephebe]]
|features=The river [[djel]]

|population= closely packed
|size= 300 square miles.
|capital=(recently) New Djeli
|government= Monarchy (Queen Ptraci}

|notablecitizens= [[Dios]]

|imports=Plumbing fixtures, other technology
|exports=Crocodile leather goods, pickles and preserves

|anthem=

|books= {{P}}, {{CDA}}
}}

'''The Kingdom of the Sun, The Old Kingdom of Djelibeybi''':

At two miles wide and one hundred and fifty miles long this is a narrow country along the river [[Djel]]. It is almost completely submersed during the wet season. It is on the [[Klatch (continent)|Klatchian]] coast of the [[Circle Sea]]. Djelibeybi has spent seven thousand years building [[pyramid]]s for her monarchs, and has driven herself bankrupt. The two most recent monarchs have been more eager for international trading and technological advances like [[Guild of Plumbers and Dunnikindivers|plumbing]] and bridges/viaducts, ideally with crenellations from which the formerly sacred river crocodiles may be shot at/have large stones dropped on them from a suitably great height. Pyramid-building has ceased, freeing the rich soil along the Djel for agricultural uses, which will probably boost the country's economy. After all, a lot of loose building stone is now available, most of it cut up into handy-to-use pre-squared blocks of masonry, so why waste it? Especially now it's going to be needed for all those bridges and aqueducts and things.

Under the benign auspices of the goddess [[Bast]], Djelybeybi is also a country where [[cats]] are considered a sacred animal. Anyone who has encountered a Djelibeybian cat might actively prefer a sacred crocodile, as serious wounds can be inflicted by a hissing, spitting, flattened-eared, highly inbred, maniacal, feline. It remains an unresolved issue as to what the status of formerly sacred cats will be under the new regime, but thus far, nobody has suggested building high bridges over the litter tray so that large stones (of which there is a sudden sufficiency) may be dropped upon them from a great height. Perhaps the problem is that a nation built on sand is effectively one vast litter tray from a cat perspective; at least crocodiles are confined to the river, so providing for their culling is a side-benefit of recycling pyramids into bridges...

Though ostensibly a monarchy, Djelibeybi was in effect ruled by [[Dios]], the never-aging high priest to all of Djelibeybi's monarchs who interprets the laws and is as powerful as any other Grand Vizier, until he was sent back in time (his life is a never-ending time loop) in {{P}}.

Djelibeybi used to be something of an empire thousands of years ago. After the aforesaid bankruptcy, Djelibeybi hasn't been conquered by her strong neighbors [[Tsort]] and [[Ephebe]] (one on each side of the long, narrow country) because if one conquered Djelibeybi, the border would be immediately next to the other strong neighbor, and there would be more trouble.

After [[Dios]] is removed from the loop, or rather, Djelibeybi is removed from the loop in time within which Dios remains inextricably caught up, the country is now on the road to financial solvency and new prosperity under the guiding hand of Queen [[Ptraci]] I, a former handmaid who has come into her own since her parentage was revealed, and who has some good ideas for the future.

Main setting for the novel {{p}}. Djelibeybi also is among the forces that set out to defeat [[Omnia]] once and for all, in {{SG}}. The name literally translates to "Child of Djel". According to the local calendar, which is likely to differ from the [[Discworld calendar|consensus calendar]], the events of ''Pyramids'' took place in the Century of the Cobra.

==Deities==
''An incomplete list of the known gods of Djelibeybi:''

===Supreme Gods===
''The Djelibeybatian pantheon has nine Supreme Gods who all appear to be equally Supreme, including:''
*[[Net]]
*[[Ptooie]]
*[[Set]]
*[[Sot]]

===Supreme Gods of the Afterlife===
''There are also at least four Supreme Gods of the [[Netherworld|Djelibeybatian version of the afterlife]]''
*[[Orexis-Nupt]]
*[[Silur]]
*[[Syncope]]

===Other Gods===
*[[Bast]] - God of cats
*[[Bunu]] - God of goats
*[[Cephnet]] - A sun God
*[[Cephut]] - God of cutlery
*[[Fhez]] - God of the lower [[Djel]]
*[[Gil]] - Another sun god
*[[Hat]] - God of unexpected guests
*[[Khefin]] - God of gateways
*[[Nept]] - Goddess of the sky
*[[Nesh]] - A sun Goddess
*[[Sarduk]] - Goddess of caves
*[[Sessifret]] - Goddess of the afternoon
*[[Teg]] - God of agriculture
*[[Thrrp]] - Sun god and Charioteer of the Sun
*[[Tzut]] - God of the upper [[Djel]]
*[[What]] - Goddess of the Sky
*[[Vut]] - God of the evening
*[[Yay]] - Another sun god

==Annotations==
* Djelibeybi is strongly based on Ancient Egypt. A country located by a great river with pyramids, a multitude of gods, ruled by a god-king known as a Pharaoh, and who prepare their dead for the afterlife using mummification rituals.
* The name Djelibeybi is a reference to [[Wikipedia:Jelly baby|jelly babies]], a pun which according to Terry Pratchett many readers seem to have [http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/soul-music.html#p10982 missed]. It may have been inspired by the djellaba, a traditional Arabic garment native to the Maghreb, and/or the jellabiya which is a similar outfit worn around the Persian Gulf. (See also the [[fishing from the same stream]] page for another similar pun in Tintin.)
** Djelibeybi is a civilisation founded on the recirculation and manipulation of Time, so it the name may also be inspired by a certain Time Lord...the Doctor of British television institution ''[[wikipedia:Doctor Who|Doctor Who]]''. At the height of his 1970s fame, the Doctor (then played by Tom Baker) frequently offered a favourite sweet to friend and foe alike to disarm them. You guessed it: a jelly baby.
** Hence also the appearance of the otherwise-unknown [[Hersheba]], a throw-in for the American trade where jelly babies aren't known, but [[wikipedia:Hershey Bar|Hershey Bars]] are.

[[de:Djelibeby]]

[[Category:Discworld geography]]

Book:The Last Hero

2026-06-04T00:31:54Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40799 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Book Data
|title=The Last Hero
|cover=[[File:Cover The Last Hero.jpg|thumb|240px|Cover art by Paul Kidby]]
|coauthors=
|illustrator=[[Paul Kidby]]
|date=October 2001
|publisher=Gollancz
|isbn=9780575068858
|pages=160
|rrp=£17.99
|series=Rincewind Series
|characters=[[Cohen]] [[Rincewind]] [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]] [[Leonard of Quirm]] The [[Librarian]]
|annotations=yes
|notes=
}}

==Blurb==
[[Cohen the Barbarian|He]]'s been a [[Barbarian heroes|legend]] in his own lifetime.

He can remember the great days of high adventure.

He can remember when a hero didn't have to worry about fences and lawyers and civilisation.

He can remember when people didn't tell you off for killing dragons.

But he can't always remember, these days, where he put his teeth...

He's really not happy about that bit.

So now, with his ancient sword and his new walking stick and his old friends – and they're very old friends – Cohen the Barbarian is going on one final quest. It's been a good life. He's going to climb the highest mountain in the Discworld and meet his gods. He doesn't like the way they let men grow old and die.

It's time, in fact, to give something back.

The last hero in the world is going to return what the first hero stole. With a vengeance. That'll mean the end of the world, if no one stops him in time.

Someone is going to try. So who knows who the last hero really is?

==Characters==
===Main Characters===
*[[Cohen the Barbarian]]
*[[Carrot Ironfoundersson]]
*The [[Librarian]]
*The [[Minstrel]]
*[[Rincewind]]
*[[Leonard of Quirm]]

===Minor Characters===
*[[The Dean]]
*[[Harry Dread|Evil Harry]]
*[[The Luggage]]
*[[Hughnon Ridcully]]
*[[Mustrum Ridcully]]
*The [[Silver Horde]]
**[[Caleb the Ripper]]
**[[Mad Hamish]]
**[[Truckle the Uncivil]]
**[[Boy Willie]]
*[[Ponder Stibbons]]
*[[Vena the Raven-Haired]]
*[[Havelock Vetinari]]
*[[Fate]]
*[[Lady]]
*[[Blind Io]]
*[[Offler]]
*[[Nuggan]]
*[[Death]]

===Cameos & Mentions===
*[[Armpit]]
*[[Butcher]]
*[[Dats Me!]]
*[[Gak]]
*[[Slime]]
*[[Neoldian]]
*[[Patina]]
*[[Bibulous]]
*[[Topaxci]]
*[[Valkyrie|Valkyries]]
*[["Fingers" Mazda]] - The First Hero
*[[Carelinus]]

==Other==
*The 27th Discworld novel.
*This book is the second to feature illustrations by a cover artist for the books after {{E}}/[[Book:The Illustrated Eric|''The Illustrated Eric'']].
*The novel was illustrated by [[Paul Kidby]].
*The 2002 paperback and subsequent editions of ''The Last Hero'' feature eight additional two-page spread illustrations. The layout otherwise remained the same until the 2024 edition (see note below).
*A new edition with a cover matching the Penguin [[50 Years of Terry]] Discworld books was announced in December 2023, and published in February 2024. The [https://www.gollancz.co.uk/titles/terry-pratchett/the-last-hero/9781399611206/ Gollancz website] also advised it would feature “a new text design”. It's a more conventional paperback size and ratio, requiring some of the larger images to be cropped even when displayed across two pages.

==Gallery==
{|
|-
| valign="top" | [[File:Cover The Last Hero.jpg|thumb|120px|First Edition Cover by [[Paul Kidby]]]]
| valign="top" | [[File:TLH Slip.jpg|thumb|120px|Slipcase Collectors Edition]]
| valign="top" | [[File:TLH 2.jpg|thumb|140px|Second Edition]]
| valign="top" | [[File:TLH 3.jpg|thumb|130px|2nd Edition smaller paperback]]
| valign="top" | [[File:TLH 2024.jpg|thumb|130px|2024 paperback]]
|}

==External Links==
*[http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/the-last-hero.html ''The Last Hero'' Annotations - The Annotated Pratchett File]

{{series|before=Thief of Time|series=Discworld|after=The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents}}
{{series|series=Rincewind|before=The Science of Discworld|after=The Science of Discworld II: the Globe}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Last Hero, The}}
[[Category:Discworld Series]]
[[Category:Rincewind Series]]
[[Category:Graphic Novels]]
[[de:Buch:Wahre Helden]]

Book:Equal Rites

2026-06-04T00:31:47Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40798 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Book Data
|title=Equal Rites
|cover=[[File:Equal Rites.jpg|thumb|240px|Cover art by Josh Kirby]]
|coauthors=
|illustrator=
|date=January 1987
|publisher=Victor Gollancz
|isbn=9780575039506
|pages=336
|rrp=
|series=Witches Series
|characters=[[Granny Weatherwax]], [[Eskarina Smith]]
|annotations=yes
|notes=Book #03
}}
==Blurb==
The last thing the [[wizard's magic|wizard]] Drum Billet did, before [[Death]] laid a bony hand on his shoulder, was to pass on his staff of power to the eighth son of an eighth son. Unfortunately for his [[Unseen University|colleagues]] in the chauvinistic (not to say misogynistic) world of magic, he failed to check on the new-born baby's sex...

==Cover==
On the back cover, illustrator [[Josh Kirby]] painted himself as a wizard.

==Characters==
* [[Granny Weatherwax]]
* [[Eskarina Smith]]
* [[Simon]]
* [[Drum Billet]], dying wizard, bloody-minded apple tree and reincarnated ant
* Archchancellor [[Cutangle]]

===Minor characters===
* The [[Librarian]]
* [[Gordo Smith]], Eskarina's father
* [[Hilta Goatfounder]], witch and friend of Granny's
* [[Amschat B'hal Zoon]], a [[Liar|diplomat]] among his people

===Cameos===
* [[Death]]
* Jaims Smith, Eskarina's oldest brother
* [[Cern Smith]], Eskarina's brother
* [[Gulta Smith]], Eskarina's brother, briefly turned into a pig
* [[Hoki]] (mentioned), god
* [[Skiller]], landlord of the Fiddler's Riddle, and his wife Mrs Skiller
* [[Zoons]], a tribe of gypsy-like sailors
* Master [[Treatle]], a wizard of the [[Ancient and Truly Original Brothers of the Silver Star]] order, and [[Vice-Chancellor]] of Unseen University
* [[Adab Gander]], trail boss for caravan setting off to Ankh-Morpork
* Creatures from the [[Dungeon Dimensions]], including:
** [[Bel-Shamharoth]]
** [[C'hulagen]]
** [[the Insider]]
* thieves from the [[Thieves%27_Guild|Guild of Thieves, Cutpurses, Housebreakers and Allied Trades]]
* [[Rosemary_Palm|Mrs Palm]] (mentioned)
* [[Great A'Tuin]] and the [[World Elephant|Giant elephants]] (mentioned)
* Mrs [[Whitlow]]
* [[Granpone]] the White, a wizard (mentioned)
* [[Ksandra]]
* Mr [[Herapath]], a glassblower, and his wife (mentioned)
* [[Nanny Annaple]] (mentioned several times)
* [[Jeophal]] the Spry, a wizard who teaches [[Beginners' Dematerialisation]]
* [[Lecturer in Applied Astrology]]
* [[Ice Giants]] (mentioned)
* Acktur Cutangle (mentioned), Cutangle's father

==Locations==
* [[Ramtops|Ramtop Mountains]]
** [[Bad Ass]]
** [[Crack Peak]] (mentioned)
** [[Ohulan Cutash]]
*** [[Fiddler's Riddle]], tavern
** [[Brass Neck]], Cutangle's birthplace
*** [[Leaping Mountain]], where Cutangle's family lived
* [[Circle Sea]]
** [[Ankh-Morpork]]
*** [[Unseen University]]
**** [[Great Hall]]
*** [[The Shades]]
* [[Rim Ocean]] (mentioned)
* [[River Ankh]]
** [[Zemphis]], a walled town
*** [[Pine Street]], where the assayer's office is
* [[Sto Lat]] (mentioned)
* [[Pseudopolis]] (mentioned)
* [[Paps of Scilla]] (mentioned), mountains named after the presumably 8-breasted Scilla
* [[Cori Celesti]] (mentioned)
* [[Rimfall]] (mentioned)

==Sentient Species==
*[[Dwarfs]]
*[[Gargoyles]]
*[[Gnolls]]
*[[Goblins]] (mentioned)
*[[Humans]]
*[[Trolls]]

==Supernatural Entities==
*[[Death]]
*[[The gods|The Gods]] (mentioned)
*[[Dungeon Dimensions|Horrors from the Dungeon Dimensions]]

==Things and Concepts==
* [[Applejack]], possibly another name for [[scumble]].
* [[Herbs|Old Man's Trousers]], herb that's good for the bowels.
* [[Herbs|Bloodwater Lily]], herb that's good for the bowels.
* [[Herbs|Greater Peahane]], herb whose flowering tops are good for the bowels.
* [[Headology]]
* [[Borrowing]]
* [[Swarm]], all bees are a part of this creature.
* [[Warlock_(profession)|Warlock]]s, male witches who are not wizards.
* [[Tiger Oil]], [[Hilta Goatfounder|Maiden's Prayer]], [[Hilta Goatfounder|Husband's Helper]], and [[Hilta Goatfounder|Stay Long Ointment]], medicines used to treat erectile dysfunction.
* Madame Goatfounder's [[Hilta Goatfounder|Pennyroyal Preventives]], a contraceptive.
* [[Hilta Goatfounder|ShoNuff Ointment]], a medicine for adults.
* [[Eighty Marvellous Herbs]], a list of useful herbs.
* [[Ultramarines]], a valuable gem.
* [[Spircles]], a chameleon gem that can mimic ultramarines.
* [[Hypactic fluid]], dissolves spricles, but not ultramarines.
* [[Zat]], unit of measure in Zemphis.
* [[Necrotelicomnicon]], phone book of the dead.
* [[Demonylogie Malyfycorum of Henchanse thee Unsatyfactory]], a book.
* [[P'ch'zarni'chiwkov]], a [[K'tumi]] word that, similar to the [[Cumhoolie]] word [[squemt]], defines a feeling of considerable unpleasantness.

==Adaptations==
===[[Radio Adaptations|Radio]]===
The novel was serialised in ten parts and broadcast on the BBC Radio 4 show 'Women's Hour' the same year as its release, 1987. Adapted by Pat McLoughlin and read by {{wp|Sarah Badel|Sarah Badel}}.

==Series Notes==
*First appearance of Granny Weatherwax
*First appearance of Mrs. Whitlow
*First mention of [[Albert]] (as Malich the wise)
*First mention of [[Sourcerer|Sourcerers]]
*The [[Thieves' Guild]] is now the main law enforcement agency in [[Ankh-Morpork]]

==Gallery==
<gallery mode="nolines" heights="120px">
File:ER First.jpg|First Edition Cover by [[Josh Kirby]]
File:ER Proof.jpg|Book Proof
File:ER Letterbox.jpg|'Letterbox' Hardback 1996
File:ER Compact.jpg|Compact Edition 1995
File:ER Kidd.jpg|SF Book Club 1998, Cover by Thomas Kidd
File:ER Black.jpg|Paperback 2004
File:ER Tape.jpg|Audio Cassette
File:ER CD.jpg|Audio CD
File:ER US1.jpg|US Cover 2005
File:ER US2.jpg|US Cover 2000, 2013
File:ER Zoom.jpg|Paperback 2012
File:ER Unseen.jpg|[[Unseen Library]] Edition
File:ER CL.jpg|[[Discworld Collector’s Library]] Edition
File:ER MM.jpg|Mai Més Catalan translation 2020, art by Marina Vidal
File:ER 2022.jpg|Paperback 2022
</gallery>

==External Links==
[http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/equal-rites.html ''Equal Rites'' Annotations - The Annotated Pratchett File]

{{series|before=The Light Fantastic|series=Discworld|after=Mort}}
{{series|series=Witches|after=Wyrd Sisters}}

[[Category:Discworld Series|Equal Rites]]
[[Category:Witches Series|Equal Rites]]
[[de:Buch:Das Erbe des Zauberers]]

Book:Good Omens

2026-06-04T00:31:42Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40797 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Book Data
|title=Good Omens
|cover=[[File:Good Omens.jpg|240px|Cover art for {{PAGENAME}}]]
|coauthors=[[Neil Gaiman]]
|illustrator=
|date=10 May 1990
|publisher=Victor Gollancz
|isbn=057504800X
|pages=
|rrp=
|series=Good Omens
|characters=[[Aziraphale]] [[Anthony Crowley|Crowley]] [[Adam Young]]
|annotations=
|notes=
}}
{{GO}} is a comic novel about demons, angels, prophecies and Armageddon, in which a mix-up at a hospital causes the Antichrist to be brought up as a perfectly normal kid with bizarre consequences as he develops his special talents with neither demons nor angels for guidance.

Terry Gilliam would make a movie of this book if those with the money and inclination to make such a thing possible were not as rare as [[Klatchian Mist]].

==Blurb==
According to the Nice and Accurate Prophecies of [[Agnes Nutter]] – the world's only ''totally reliable'' guide to the future – the world will end on a Saturday. Next Saturday, in fact. Just after tea...

==Characters==
*[[The Them]]
**[[Adam Young]]
**[[Brian ("Good Omens")|Brian]]
**[[Pepper]]
**[[Wensleydale]]
*Demons and Angels etc.
**[[Aziraphale]]
**[[Beelezebub]]
**[[Anthony Crowley|Crowley]]
**[[Hastur]]
**[[Ligur]]
**[[Earl Beezlemoth]]
**The [[Metatron]]
*Riders Of The Apocalypse
**[[Death (Good Omens)|Death]]
**[[Famine (Good Omens)|Famine]]
**[[Pollution]]
**[[War (Good Omens)|War]]
*[[Four Other Riders Of The Apocalypse]]
**[[Greaser]]
**[[Pigbog]]
**[[Scuzz]]
**[[Big Ted]]
*[[Witchfinder Army]]
**[[Nurker]]
**[[Newton Pulsifer]]
**[[Shadwell]]
**[[Thou-Shalt-Not-Commit-Adultery Pulsifer]]
*The [[Chattering Order of St. Beryl]]
**Sister [[Mary Loquacious]]
*[[Anathema Device]]
*[[Julia Petley]]
*[[Madame Tracy]]
*[[The International Express Man]]
*[[Mr. Young]]
*[[Deirdre Young]]
*[[Greasy Johnson]]
*[[Agnes Nutter]]
*[[Beryl Ormerod]]
*[[Ron Ormerod]]
*[[Marjorie Potts]]
*[[Warlock Dowling]]
*[[Horace Gander]]
*[[Dog]]

==Locations==
*[[Atlantis]]
*[[Power Cable]], Nebraska
*[[Tadfield]]
*[[Turning Point Power Station]]

==Additional Material==
The United States edition of Good Omens had numerous alterations to the text. The most significant alteration to the main text is the addition of an extra 700-word section just before the end, dealing with what happened to the character of Warlock, the American diplomat's son, who was swapped with Adam. The American edition also adds numerous footnotes not found in British editions as well as changes to the spelling throughout so that the text corresponded to American English norms rather than British English. One howler of an error has "Aziraphile nipping across the city of Hell" early on. Comparing this to the British text, it appears the American editor was correcting a non-existent error, not knowing ''Hull'' is an English port city on the east coast. It may be grim, it may have had the pugnacious John Prescott as its MP and it may be in the East Riding of Yorkshire - but it isn't quite Hell...

Editions since 2006 have contained [[Contributions to other works|extra material]] by [[Terry Pratchett]] and [[Neil Gaiman]]: a new Foreword to the book, 'Good Omens, The Facts' an interview with the two authors and two articles by each author: 'Neil Gaiman On Terry Pratchett' and 'Terry Pratchett On Neil Gaiman.'

[[Deleted Scenes|''Crowley & Aziraphale’s New Year’s Resolutions'']] were released on the author's extra section on the HarperCollins website; this section no longer exists but the material can be found on Neil Gaiman's Tumbler account. This was a set of promises by the respective characters for the year ahead.

Illustrations by [[Paul Kidby]] and revised text in [[Book:The Definitive Good Omens|''The Definitive Good Omens'']].

==Adaptations==
{{TV Data
|title=Good Omens
|cover=[[File:GO TV DVD.jpg|thumb|200px|DVD Cover]]
|asin=
|imdb=1869454
|date=31st May 2019
|channel=Amazon Prime, BBC Two
|director=Douglas Mackinnon
|producer=[[Neil Gaiman]], Caroline Skinner, Chris Sussman, [[Rob Wilkins]], Rod Brown
|cast=Michael Sheen, David Tennant, Sam Taylor Buck
|duration=60 minutes
|episodes=6
|series=Good Omens
|annotations=
|notes=
|prev=[[TV and Film:Troll Bridge|Troll Bridge]]
|next=
}}
===[[TV and Film:Good Omens|TV Series]]===
In 2017 Neil Gaiman announced that he would be partnering his Blank Corporation with [[Narrativia (production company)|Narrativia]] to create a [[TV and film adaptations|TV series adaptation]]. A six episode TV mini series was produced by both companies along with Amazon.com and the BBC. A [[Book:The Nice and Accurate Good Omens TV Companion|companion book]] and a [[Book:The Quite Nice and Fairly Accurate Good Omens Script Book|script book]] were released alongside the series.

Cast:
*[[Aziraphale]]: Michael Sheen
*[[Crowley]]: David Tennant
*[[Anathema Device]]: Adria Arjona
*[[Adam Young]]: Sam Taylor Buck
*[[Brian ("Good Omens")|Brian]]: Ian Galkoff
*[[Wensleydale]]: Alfie Taylor
*[[Pepper]]: Amma Ris
*[[Mary Loquacious|Sister Mary Loquacious]]: Nina Sosanya
*[[Ligur]]: Ariyon Bakare
*[[Hastur]]: Ned Dennehy
*[[Newton Pulsifer]]: Jack Whitehall
*[[Shadwell]]: Michael McKean
*[[Madame Tracy]]: Miranda Richardson
*Gabriel: John Hamm
*Satan: Benedict Cumberbatch

On May 1st 2020 a short voice-over vignette, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quSXoj8Kob0 'Good Omens: Lockdown'] was released on Youtube to commemorate the 30th anniversary of Good Omens, with David Tennant and Michael Sheen reprising their roles from the TV series.

===[[Book:A Screenplay|Screenplay]]===
A screenplay adaptation titled '''A Screenplay''' for a potential Good Omens film was written by Neil Gaiman. This was published in 2004 by Hill House in a limited number of copies as a premium for subscribers to their Author's Preferred Series.

===[[Radio Adaptations|Radio]]===
Good Omens was adapted by BBC Radio 4 as a full audio drama in 2014, this was later released on CD in 2015.

Cast:
*Mark Heap: [[Aziraphale]]
*Peter Serafinowicz: [[Crowley]]
*Adam Thomas Wright: [[Adam Young]]
*Bobby Fuller: [[Wensleydale]]
*Hollie Burgess: [[Pepper]]
*Lewis Andrews: [[Brian ("Good Omens")|Brian]]
*Josie Lawrence: [[Agnes Nutter]]
*Colin Morgan: [[Newton Pulsifer]]
*Charlotte Ritchie: [[Anathema Device]]
*Clive Russell: [[Shadwell]]
*Julia Deakin: [[Madame Tracy]]

===[[Book:Good Omens The Official (and Ineffable) Graphic Novel|Graphic Novel]]===
''Good Omens: The Official (and Ineffable) Graphic Novel'' is a graphic novel adaptation illustrated by Collen Doran. The book was funded through the website Kickstarter with an initial goal of £25,000.

==Annotations==
The book satirises some aspects of the '70s movie ''[[wikipedia:The Omen|The Omen]]'', where an American diplomat has Damien, the Antichrist, for a child. Although Damien is dismissed as a name, and isn't the Antichrist anyway, he is raised by a supernatural nanny, and with a birthday party that gets out of hand.

Right on the very last page of the book, there is a line stating:

:"If you want to see the future, imagine a boot..."

Pratchett and Gaiman amend "boot" to "sneaker", but the reference is clearly to the closing paragraphs of George Orwell's ''1984'':

:"If you want to see the future, imagine a boot, stamping on a human face, forever."

This is softened in ''Good Omens'' to a sneaker, or trainer, with untied laces, on the foot of the Antichrist, who has just succeeded in thwarting the desire of both Heaven and Hell to stamp on the collective face of the human race until something breaks beyond repair. (What else is Armageddon, after all)

==Gallery==
{|
|-
| valign="top" | [[File:Good Omens.jpg|thumb|120px|First Edition Cover by Chris Moore]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GO Proof.jpg|thumb|110px|Book Proof]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GO Kirby.jpg|thumb|110px|Cover by [[Josh Kirby]] (German)]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GO Black.jpg|thumb|110px|Paperback 2004]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GO CD.jpg|thumb|140px|Audio CD]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GO GW.jpg|thumb|110px|Cover by Graham Ward]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GO DF.jpg|thumb|120px|Cover by David Frampton]]
|}
{|
|-
| valign="top" | [[File:GO MA.jpg|thumb|110px|Cover by Michael Astrachan]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GO MA2.jpg|thumb|110px|Cover by Michael Astrachan-alt]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GO JB.jpg|thumb|110px|Cover by Jim Burns]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GO HC.jpg|thumb|210px|Dual covers by Hayden Cornner 2005]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GO HC2.jpg|thumb|210px|Dual covers by Hayden Cornner 2006]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GO HC3.jpg|thumb|210px|Dual covers by Hayden Cornner 2007]]
|}
{|
|-
| valign="top" | [[File:GO Ace.jpg|thumb|110px|Cover by Ace Books]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GO HCUK.jpg|thumb|110px|UK cover by Hayden Cornner 2014]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GO G.jpg|thumb|110px|Gollancz hardcover 2007]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GO Radio.jpg|right|thumb|150px|Radio Drama CD Cover]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GO PI.jpg|thumb|110px|Cover by Patrick Insole]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GO CL.jpg|thumb|110px|Collectors Library Edition]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GO TV Cover.jpg|thumb|110px|TV Series Tie-in]]
|}
{|
|-
| valign="top" | [[File:GO W.jpg|thumb|110px|Cover by Marianne Issa El-Khoury]]
|}
==External Links==
[https://www.lspace.org/books/apf/good-omens.html ''Good Omens'' on the Annotated Pratchett File]

[http://goodomenslexicon.org/ The Good Omens Lexicon]

[http://neil-gaiman.tumblr.com/post/15162006933/crowley-aziraphales-new-years-wishes-from Crowley & Aziraphale’s New Year’s Resolutions]

[[Category:Books by Terry Pratchett|Good Omens]]
[[de:Buch:Ein gutes Omen]]
[[Category:Good Omens|Good Omens]]

Book:The Last Continent

2026-06-04T00:31:37Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40796 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Book Data
|title=The Last Continent
|cover=[[File:Cover The Last Continent.jpg|thumb|240px|Cover art by Josh Kirby]]
|coauthors=
|illustrator=
|date=May 1998
|publisher=Doubleday
|isbn=0552146145
|pages=416
|rrp=
|series=Rincewind Series
|characters=[[Rincewind]], Mrs. [[Whitlow]]
|annotations=yes
|notes=
}}
==Blurb==
This is the [[Discworld (world)|Discworld]]'s [[XXXX|last continent]], a completely separate creation.

It's hot. It's dry... very dry. There was this thing once called The Wet, which no one now believes in. Practically everything that's not poisonous is venomous. But it's the best bloody place in the world, all right?

And it'll die in a few days. Except...

Who is this hero striding across the red desert? Champion sheep shearer, horse rider, road warrior, beer drinker, bush ranger and someone who'll even eat a Meat Pie Floater when he's sober? A man in a hat, whose Luggage follows him on little legs, who's about to change history by preventing a swagman stealing a jumbuck by a billabong?

Yes... all this place has between itself and wind-blown doom is Rincewind, the inept wizard who can't even spell wizard. He's the only hero left.

Still... no worries, eh?

==Characters==
===Main Characters===
*[[Rincewind]]
*[[Mustrum Ridcully]]
*The [[Librarian]]
*The [[Senior Wrangler]]
*The [[Dean]]
*The [[Bursar]]
*The [[Chair of Indefinite Studies]]
*The [[Lecturer in Recent Runes]]
*[[Ponder Stibbons]]
*Mrs. [[Whitlow]]
* [[Creator_(of_the_Continent_XXXX)|Creator of XXXX]]
* [[God of Evolution]]
* [[Trickster]], also known as [[Scrappy]] and [[Snowy]]

===Minor Characters===
* [[Strewth]], a miner whose name is the Australian expression for "God's truth"
* [[Hex]]
* [[Death]]
* [[Mad]], a dwarf
* [[Crocodile Crocodile]], a barman aka [[Dongo]]
* [[The Luggage]]
* [[Petunia the Desert Princess]], transvestite group, consisting of:
** [[Letitia]]
** [[Darleen]], who sings ''Prancing Queen'', a parody of ABBA's {{wp|Dancing_Queen|Dancing Queen}}
** [[Neilette]], an actual woman
** [[Noelene]], Neilette's brother, who dropped out after trying to surf in a ball gown
* [[Bill Rincewind]], Archchancellor of Bugarup University
* [[B. Smoth]], Dean of Bugarup University

===Cameos and People Mentioned===
* [[McAbre]], the head [[bledlow]]
* [[Doughnut Jimmy]] (mentioned)
* [[Swallett]], wizard who led expedition to find Lost Reading Room
* [[Professor of Recondite Architecture and Origami Map Folding]]
* [[Egregious Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography]] (mentioned), a title later held by Rincewind
* [[Wally Sluvver]], a wizard who gave lectures post-mortem (no one noticed)
* [[Lecturer in Creative Uncertainty]], the Discworld equivalent of {{wp|Introduction_to_quantum_mechanics|quantum mechanics}}
* Sir [[Roderick Purdeigh]], explorer who searched for XXXX and claimed it didn't exist (but also once got lost in his own bedroom...)
* [[Death of Rats]]
* [[Albert]]
* [[Bewdley]], former Archchancellor with a magic hole in his boots
* [[Medley]], a medical kleptomaniac (mentioned)
* [[Hoki]], god (mentioned)
* [[Creator]] of the Disc (mentioned)
* [[Ossory]] (mentioned in an expression)
* [[Hollowlog Joe]], drinker in bar
* Queen [[Zazumba]] of Sumtri (mentioned)
* [[Daggy]], sheep shearer
* [[Remorse]], a man who owns a fast colt and purchases Snowy
* [[Clancy]], a stock man who works for Remorse and helps invent XXXX-ian slang
* [[Tinhead Ned]] (mentioned), famous escape artist, parodying {{wp|Ned_Kelly|Ned Kelly}}
* [[Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler|Fair Go Dibbler]]
* [[Duncan]], friend of Fair Go's, who explains "Duncan's me mate", from the {{wp|Slim_Dusty|Slim Dusty}} song [http://www.lyricsdownload.com/slim-dusty-duncan-lyrics.html Duncan]
* [[Greg]] and [[Vince]], troll-like gaolers
* [[Larrikin Larry]], criminal whose head flew off like a cork when he was hanged
* "Dicky" [[Bird]] (mentioned), wizard particularly sensitive to high magical fields
* Dibblers around the Disc (mentioned; most of these do not appear in any other book)
** [[Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler]] (several books)
** [[Disembowel-Meself-Honourably Dibhala]] (from {{IT}})
** [[Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler|Al-Jiblah]]
** [[Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler|May-I-Never-Achieve-Enlightenment Dhiblang]]
** [[Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler|Dib Diblossonson]]
** [[Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler|May-I-Be-Kicked-In-My-Own-Ice-Hole Dibooki]]
** [[Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler|Swallow-Me-Own-Blowdart Dlang-Dlang]]
* [[Ly Tin Wheedle]] (mentioned)
* [[Charley]], a cook depressed at the concept of naming a dessert after famed opera singer Dame [[Nellie Butt]], especially since his father created the [[Janine Ormulu|Orange Ormulu]] in honor of Dame [[Janine Ormulu]]
* [[Nunco]], who invented the [[Wendy Sackville|Strawberry Sackville]] for Dame [[Wendy Sackville]]
* [[Imposo]], who created the [[Margyreen Glazier|Apple Glazier]] for Dame [[Margyreen Glazier]]
* [[Lisa Delight]], retired opera singer
* [[Ron]] and [[Sid]], opera house chefs
* [[Ronald Pants]] aka "Really" Pants (mentioned)
* [[Farter Carter]] (mentioned; probably not his real name)
* [[Trusset]], a wizard with good hair, contemporary of Ponder Stibbons
* [["Rubber" Houser]], wizard who invented the [[Graphical Device]]
* [[Cartwright]], an XXXX-ian wizard
* [[Salid]], an artist (possibly a wizard artist?)
* [[Clive]], [[Shirl]], and [[Gerleen]], XXXX-ers who wish to emigrate to Ankh-Morpork
* [[Germaine Trifle]], opera singer
* [[Bluey]], XXXX-ian watchman

==Locations==
*[[Ankh-Morpork]]
**The [[Unseen University]]
** [[Museum of Quite Unusual Things]] (mentioned)
** [[High Energy Magic Building]] (mentioned)
** [[Library]]
** [[Lost Reading Room]] (mentioned)
** [[Room 5b]] (mentioned)
** [[Moon Pond Lane]] (mentioned), Librarian's birth street
** [[Opera House]] (mentioned; when stranded on a deserted island, the Dean wishes to listen to the music there), not to be confused with the Bugarup Opera House mentioned below
*[[XXXX]]
**[[Dijabringabeeralong]]
** [[Semaphore Hill]] (mentioned)
**[[Bugarup]]
** [[Bugarup Gaol]]
** [[Berk Street]] (mentioned)
** [[Bludgeree]] (mentioned), area of town(?) where Fair Go Dibbler was born
** [[Treacle Street]] (mentioned), Fair Go Dibbler's birth street
** [[Opera_House_(Bugarup)|Opera House]]
** [[Grurt Street]] (mentioned)
** [[Bugarup University]]
** [[Pastoral Hotel]] (mentioned)
** [[Cangoolie]] (mentioned), parodies {{wp|Kalgoorlie|Kalgoorlie}}
** [[Worralorrasurfa]], Neilette's home town
* [[Mono Island]], an island near XXXX similar to New Zealand
* [[Slakki]] and [[Purdee Island]], nudist islands
* [[Quirm]] (mentioned)
** [[Kiddling Street]] (mentioned)
* [[Klatch]] (mentioned)
* [[Omnia]] (mentioned)
* [[NoThingfjord]] (mentioned), Mad's home town
* [[Sumtri]] (mentioned)
* [[Bhangbhangduc]] (mentioned), a place whose name parodies "bang! bang! duck" (ie, telling someone to duck '''after''' bullets have been shot)
* [[Quint]], city destroyed by God of Evolution

==Concepts, Items, Events==
* [[slood]] (mentioned)
* [[Bledlows|Ceremony of the Keys]], parodying the [[Roundworld]] {{wp|Ceremony_of_the_Keys|events with the same name}}.
* [[L-Space]]
* [[Weezencake's Unreliable Algorithm]]
* [[How to Dynamically Manage People for Dynamic Results in a Caring Empowering Way in Quite a Short Time Dynamically]], a truly hideous book from another universe
* [[Droit de seigneur|droit de mortis]], killing senior wizards to speed promotion
* [[Old Tom]], university's tongueless clock
* [[Wasport's Lives of the Very Dull People]], a book
* [[Wrencher's Snakes of All Nations]], a book
* [[Dangerous Mammals, Reptiles, Amphibians, Birds, Fish, Jellyfish, Insects, Spiders, Crustaceans, Grasses, Trees, Mosses, and Lichens of Terror Incognita]], an encyclopedia with at least 29 volumes (probably many more, as the volumes are further broken down by letter and number, eg, "29c, part 3")
* [[drop-bears]]
* [[Principles of Thaumic Propagation]], a studious book that turns into [[The Omega Conspiracy]], a frivolous book
* Theoretical frivolous books working along the same general lines:-
** ''The Gamma Imperative''
** ''The Delta Season''
** ''The Alpha Project''
** [[The Mu Kappa Pi Caper]]
* [[dwarf bread]]
* the [[Discworld calendar|Triangle]], a constellation
* [[The Small Boring Group of Faint Stars]], a constellation
* The ''Thunder Lizard'', an animal that killed the original Egregious Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography, but later turned into a chicken. A literal translation into Greek of the term "Thunder Lizard" is ''Brontosaurus''. And it is thought birds evolved from dinosaurs.
* [[Roo Beer]], a light sparkly (but still quite alcoholic) beer
* the [[Sapu Tree]], a carnivorous plant
* [[Sledgehammer Plant of Bhangbhangduc]], a carnivorous plant
* [[Pyramid Strangler Vine]], a normally vegetarian plant
* [[Two Up]], game, parodying the Roundworld {{wp|Two-up|game of the same name}}
* ''Tie My Kangaroo Up'', a song parodying {{wp|Tie_Me_Kangaroo_Down%2C_Sport|Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport}}
* [[squid]], unit of currency (probably parodies 'quid', slang term for British pound) The pound (£AUS) was the unit of currency in Australia until supplanted by the dollar ($AUS) in the 1950's.
* [[Mugroop's Syndrome]], symptom of high magical field
* [[meat pie floater]], XXXX specialty cuisine
* [[Peach Nellie]], a dessert
* [[The Galah]], a Fourecksian celebration of human diversity.
* [[Funnelweb]], a type of beer, parodying {{wp|Matilda_Bay_Brewing_Company|Redback Beer}} (both named after spiders)
* [[Maxwell's Impressive Separator]] and [[Bonza Charlie's Beaut Sieve]], two similar spells that can separate two things (eg, salt and water from saltwater)
* [[HW chromosome]], something wizards lack (HW = housework?)

==Gallery==
{|
|-
| valign="top" | [[File:TLC First.jpg|thumb|120px|First Edition Cover by [[Josh Kirby]]]]
| valign="top" | [[File:TLC Proof.jpg|thumb|120px|Book Proof]]
| valign="top" | [[File:TLC Black.jpg|thumb|110px|Paperback 2004]]
| valign="top" | [[File:TLC Tape.jpg|thumb|120px|Audio Cassette]]
| valign="top" | [[File:TLC CD.jpg|thumb|150px|Audio CD]]
| valign="top" | [[File:TLC MS.jpg|thumb|110px|Cover by Michael Sabanosh]]
| valign="top" | [[File:TLC MS2.jpg|thumb|100px|Cover by Michael Sabanosh-paperback]]
|}
{|
|-
| valign="top" | [[File:TLC US.jpg|thumb|110px|US Cover]]
| valign="top" | [[File:TLC Zoom.jpg|thumb|110px|Paperback 2012]]
| valign="top" | [[File:TLC CL.jpg|thumb|110px|[[Discworld Collector’s Library]] Edition]]
| valign="top" | [[File:TLC 2022.jpg|thumb|100px|Paperback 2022]]
|}

==External Links==
* [http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/the-last-continent.html ''The Last Continent'' Annotations - The Annotated Pratchett File]

* {{wp|Discworld_geography|Discworld geography}} (WikiPedia)

{{series|before=Jingo|series=Discworld|after=Carpe Jugulum}}
{{series|series=Rincewind|before=Interesting Times|after=The Science of Discworld}}
{{series|series=Wizards|before=Interesting Times|after=Unseen Academicals}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Last Continent, The}}
[[Category:Discworld Series]]
[[Category:Rincewind Series]]
[[Category:Wizards Series]]
[[de:Buch:Heiße Hüpfer]]

Book:Thief of Time

2026-06-04T00:31:28Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40795 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Book Data
|title=Thief of Time
|cover=[[File:TOTcover.jpg|thumb|240px|Cover art by Josh Kirby]]
|coauthors=
|illustrator=
|date=1 May 2001
|publisher=Doubleday
|isbn=9780385601887
|pages=320
|rrp=
|series=Death Series
|characters=[[Susan Sto Helit]], [[Lu-Tze]], [[Jeremy Clockson]], [[Lobsang Ludd]]
|annotations=yes
|notes=
}}
==Blurb==
Time is a resource. Everyone knows it has to be managed.

And on Discworld that is the job of the [[History Monks|Monks of History]], who store it and pump it from the places where it's wasted (like underwater -- how much time does a codfish need?) to places like cities, where there's never enough time.

But the construction of the world's first truly accurate clock starts a race against, well, time, for Lu Tze and his apprentice Lobsang Ludd. Because it will stop time. And that will only be the start of everyone's problems.

Thief of Time comes complete with a full supporting cast of heroes and villains, yetis, martial artists and Ronnie, the fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse (who left before they became famous).

==Characters==
===Main Characters===
*[[Jeremy Clockson]]
*[[Myria LeJean]]
*[[Lu-Tze]]
*[[Lobsang Ludd]]
*[[Susan Sto Helit]]

===Minor Characters===
*[[Death]]
*[[Famine]]
*[[Igor#Igor at Jeremy Clockson's, Ankh-Morpork|Igor]]
*[[History Monks]]
**The [[Abbot]]
**[[Clodpool]]
**[[Dojo Master]]
**[[Rambut Handisides]]
**[[Qu]]
**[[Marco Soto]]
**[[Wen the Eternally Surprised]]
*[[Royal Art Museum|Old John]] and family
*[[Nanny Ogg ]]
*[[Pestilence]]
*[[Ronnie Soak]]
*[[War]]

==Locations==
*[[Ankh-Morpork]]
*[[Bong Phut]]
*[[Long Nap]]
*[[Oi Dong]] (in [[Enlightenment country]])
*[[Uberwald]]
**[[Bad Schuschein]]

==Gallery==
{|
|-
| valign="top" | [[File:Cover Thief of Time.jpg|thumb|115px|First Edition Cover by [[Josh Kirby]]]]
| valign="top" | [[File:TOT Proof.jpg|thumb|90px|Book Proof]]
| valign="top" | [[File:TOT Black.jpg|thumb|110px|Paperback 2004]]
| valign="top" | [[File:TOT Tape.jpg|thumb|120px|Audio Cassette]]
| valign="top" | [[File:TOT CD.jpg|thumb|150px|Audio CD]]
| valign="top" | [[File:TOT CK.jpg|thumb|110px|Cover by Chip Kidd]]
| valign="top" | [[File:TOT US.jpg|thumb|110px|US Cover]]
|}
{|
|-
| valign="top" | [[File:TOT Zoom.jpg|thumb|110px|Paperback 2012]]
| valign="top" | [[File:TOT CL.jpg|thumb|110px|[[Discworld Collector’s Library]] Edition]]
| valign="top" | [[File:TOT 2022.jpg|thumb|100px|Paperback 2022]]
|}

==External Links==
[http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/thief-of-time.html ''Thief of Time'' Annotations - The Annotated Pratchett File]

{{series|before=The Truth|series=Discworld|after=The Last Hero}}
{{series|series=Death|before=Hogfather}}

[[Category:Discworld Series|Thief of Time]]
[[Category:Death Series|Thief of Time]]
[[de:Buch:Der Zeitdieb]]

Book:Lords and Ladies

2026-06-04T00:31:23Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40794 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Book Data
|title=Lords and Ladies
|cover=[[File:Cover Lords and Ladies.jpg|thumb|240px|Cover art by Josh Kirby]]
|coauthors=
|illustrator=
|date=November 1992
|publisher=Victor Gollancz
|isbn=0575052236
|pages=288
|rrp=
|series=Witches Series
|characters=[[Granny Weatherwax]], [[Queen of the Elves]], [[Mustrum Ridcully]], [[Nanny Ogg]], [[Magrat Garlick]]
|annotations=yes
|notes= Book #14
}}
==Blurb==
It's a hot Midsummer Night. The [[crop circles]] are turning up everywhere – even on the mustard-and-cress of Pewsey Ogg, aged four. And Magrat Garlick, [[witches magic|witch]], is going to be married in the morning... Everything ought to be going like a dream. But the [[Lancre]] [[Lancre Morris Men|All-Comers Morris Team]] have got drunk on a [[The Dancers|fairy mound]] and the [[elves]] have come back, bringing all those things traditionally associated with the magical, glittering realm of Faerie: cruelty, kidnapping, malice and evil, evil murder.[*] Granny Weatherwax and her tiny argumentative coven have really got their work cut out this time... With full supporting cast of [[dwarfs]], [[wizard's magic|wizards]], [[trolls]], Morris Dancers and one [[Librarian|orang-utan]]. And lots of hey-nonny-nonny and blood all over the place.

[*] But with tons of style.

==Characters==
==Major Characters==
* [[Granny Weatherwax]]
* [[Queen of the Elves]]
* [[Mustrum Ridcully]]
* [[Nanny Ogg]]
* [[Magrat Garlick]]
* [[Verence II |King Verence II]]
* [[Shawn Ogg]], a man of many jobs (mostly the ones no one else wants...)
* [[Ponder Stibbons]]

==Minor Characters==
* [[King of the Elves]]
* [[Lankin]]
* [[Jason Ogg]]
* [[Death]]
* [[Binky]]
* [[Pewsey Ogg]], Jason's sticky 4-year-old child
* The [[Librarian]]
* The [[Bursar]]
* [[Millie Chillum]]
* Girl witches:
** [[Perdita]]
** [[Lucy Tockley]] (aka Diamanda)
** [[Amanita DeVice]]
** [[Muscara]] (real name Susan)
** [[Violet Frottidge]], witch name Magenta
* [[Lancre Morris Men]], excluding Jason Ogg above
** [[Bestiality Carter]], Lancre's only baker
** Weaver, the thatcher
** [[Obidiah Carpenter]], the tailor
** Baker, the weaver
** Thatcher, the carter
** Tailor, another weaver
** Tinker, the tinker
* [[Herne the Hunted]], small god
* [[Giamo Casanunda]], dwarf
* [[Hodgesaargh]], falconer
* [[Brooks|Mr Brooks]], the royal beekeeper

==Cameos and Mentions==
* [[Dreen Ogg]] (mentioned)
* Mr [[Skindle]]
* Mr [[Spriggins]], the butler (mentioned)
* Mrs [[Scorbic]], the cook
* [[Boggi]], Ankh-Morporkian dressmaker
* [[Ironfoundersson]], dwarf
* [[Vitoller]]'s Men, including [[Hwel]] and [[Tomjon]] (mentioned)
* [[Goodie Whemper]] (mentioned, maysherestinpeace)
* [[William Scrope]], who dies chasing a [[Ramtop Red]] stag into the Circle
* [[Palliard]], family to which Scrope's widow belongs
* The [[Dean]]
* The [[Lecturer in Recent Runes]]
* The [[Reader in Invisible Writings]], title currently held by Ponder Stibbons
* [[Muckloe]], pig breeder in [[Slice]]
* [[Greebo]]
* Mr [[Quarney]], Lancre's only storekeeper and his wife
* Mother [[Peason]] (mentioned)
* [[Poorchick]] (mentioned)
* [[Bandits' Guild]]
* Granny [[Postalute]] (mentioned)
* [[Threepenny Nitt]], Perdita's father
* [[Liona Keeble|Keeble]], maiden name of Diamanda's mother, possible reference to the {{wp|Keebler_Company|Keebler Elves}}
* [[Nanny Gripes]], Goody [[Heggety]], Nanna [[Plumb]], and [[Black Aliss]], chain of witches from whom Granny Weatherwax descends (implying she's *much* younger than Black Aliss?)
* Mr [[Thrum]], casualty of the Stick and Bucket Dance
* Psychotic Lord [[Hargon]] of [[Quirm]] (mentioned)
* Biddy [[Spective]], Nanny's mentor
* [[Weezen]] (mentioned)
* Mrs [[Persifleur]], at whose lodging house Ridcully once stayed (mentioned)
* [[Carbonaceous]], Ridcully's troll mate. {{wp|Carbonaceous|Carbonaceous}} is not a rock, but references a quality some rocks have, particularly {{wp|Carbonaceous_chondrite|Carbonaceous chondrite}}, a type of meteorite. (mentioned)
* [[Agantia|Queen Agantia]] of [[Skund]] (mentioned)
* [[Sobriety Ogg]], Nanny's ex-husband (mentioned)
* [[Eva Carter]], Bestiality's wife (mentioned)
* [[Creosote]] (mentioned)
* [[Greyhald Spold]] (mentioned)
* [[Amonia|Queen Amonia]] of Lancre (mentioned)

==Locations==
* [[Ramtops]]
* [[Lancre]]
** [[The Dancers]]
*** The [[Piper]]
*** The [[Drummer]]
** [[The Long Man]]
** [[Lancre Gorge]] through which flows the [[Lancre River]], and which is spanned by [[Lancre Bridge]] (Lancratians aren't real creative on geographical naming)
** [[Lancre Castle]]
*** [[Long Gallery]], a long gallery
*** Great Hall, a great hall
*** [[Deep Dungeons]], guess...
** [[Cabb's Well]] (mentioned)
** [[Copperhead Mountain]]
** [[The Goat and Bush]]
* [[Fairyland]]
* [[Ankh-Morpork]]
** [[Unseen University]]
*** [[Library]]
*** [[High Energy Magic]] building
** [[Broad Way]] (mentioned)
*** [[The Dysk]] (mentioned)
*** [[Lord Wynkin's Men]] (mentioned)
*** [[Bearpit]] (mentioned)
* [[Genua]] (mentioned)
* [[Klatch]] (mentioned)
* [[Slice]] (mentioned)
** [[The Place Where The Sun Does Not Shine]] (mentioned)
* [[Bad Ass]]
* [[Sto Helit]] (mentioned)
* [[Dungeon Dimensions]] (mentioned)
* [[Ephebe]] (mentioned)
* [[Ohulan]]
** [[Thrift Bank]]

==Things and Concepts==
* [[Nine Day Wonderers]], Lancre religion possibly parodying either the {{wp|Seventh-day_Adventist_Church|Seventh-Day Adventist Church}} or the {{wp|The_Church_of_Jesus_Christ_of_Latter-day_Saints|Church of Latter-Day Saints}} (commonly known as the Mormon Church).

* [[Strict Offlians]], Lancre religion worshiping [[Offler]]

* [[Almanack And Booke Of Dayes]], popular outhouse book

* [[Lancre Stripe]] and [[Sto Saddleback]], breeds of pig

* [[Midsummer Day]], date of Verence and Magrat's marriage

* [[unicorn]]s

* [[dried frog pills]]

* [[Cripple Mister Onion]]

* [[Legendes and Antiquities of the Ramtops]], by [[Birdwhistle]], which records the duel between Granny and Diamanda (the fact that this even is a "legend" and "antiquity" implies {{LL}} takes place in the distant past?)

* [[Stick and Bucket Dance]]

* [[Lappet-faced Worrier]] or wowhawk, a particularly pathetic falcon

* [[Stacklady's Morphic Resonator]], spell used to turn a bandit into a pumpkin (perhaps Magrat's wand in {{WA}} was infested with this spell?)

* [[Klatchian Nights]] bath essence

* [[Twurp's Peerage]]

* [[Soul Cake Tuesday]]

* [[Martial Arts]], a book that tells you how to fight

* [[Century of the Fruitbat]], current century

==[[Roundworld]] References==
* {{wp|Morris_dance|Morris dancing}}

* {{wp|Yossarian|Yossarian}}

* {{wp|Tupperware|Tupperware}}

* {{wp|Yankee_Doodle|Yankee Doodle}}, song

* {{wp|The_Magnificent_Seven|The Magnificent Seven}}

==Trivia==
*Heavily spoofs Shakespeare's play A Midsummer Night's Dream.

==Cover Artwork==
*In the touring exhibition '''''The Art of [[Josh Kirby]]''''', which at the time of writing was in the Walker Gallery in his home town of Liverpool, the full cover art of '''''Lords and Ladies''''' is exhibited - that is, in all three versions. The gallery annotation is that whilst Kirby normally loved working on a Pratchett book, this one was a frustrating nightmare to him, as the publishers kept rejecting it as inappropriate, or unsuitable, or otherwise not fit for their best-selling author's cover.
Kirby ended up doing at least three different versions of the cover art, one of which, in a much-altered form, was used for the hardback, depicting as many of the book's characters and scenes as possible in a broad panorama. A second entirely different version (depicting [[Nanny Ogg]] and [[Casanunda]] confronting the [[King of the Elves]]) was used for the paperback.
Btw, the original artworks for the covers are a '''''lot''''' bigger than the books and apparently are reduced down several times for publication. You would be surprised, especially if, like this contributor, you'd never really given the publishing process for artwork much thought before.

==Adaptations==
===[[Theatre Adaptations|Theatre]]===
Adapted into a stage-play by Irana Brown in 2001, adapted again by [[Stephen Briggs]] in 2015.

Parts of the novel, along with {{SOD2}}, were used as the basis of the play ''[[The Shakespeare Codex]]'', performed in 2016.

===[[Fan Films|Fan Film]]===
A fan-film was produced by Almost No Budget Productions in 2004.

==Gallery==
{|
|-
| valign="top" | [[File:LL First.jpg|120px|thumb|First Edition Cover by [[Josh Kirby]]]]
| valign="top" | [[File:LL Proof.jpg|thumb|100px|Book Proof]]
| valign="top" | [[File:LL Letterbox.jpg|thumb|130px|'Letterbox' Hardback]]
| valign="top" | [[File:LL DKS.jpg|thumb|110px|Cover by Darrell K. Sweet]]
| valign="top" | [[File:LL Black.jpg|thumb|110px|Paperback 2004]]
| valign="top" | [[File:LL Tape.jpg|thumb|130px|Audio Cassette]]
| valign="top" | [[File:LL CD.jpg|thumb|140px|Audio CD]]
|}
{|
|-
| valign="top" | [[File:LL MS.jpg|thumb|110px|Cover by Michael Sabanosh]]
| valign="top" | [[File:LL MS2.jpg|thumb|100px|Cover by Michael Sabanosh-paperback]]
| valign="top" | [[File:LL US.jpg|thumb|110px|US Cover]]
| valign="top" | [[File:LL Zoom.jpg|thumb|110px|Paperback 2012]]
| valign="top" | [[File:LL Unseen.jpg|thumb|110px|Unseen Library Edition]]
| valign="top" | [[File:LL CL.jpg|thumb|110px|[[Discworld Collector’s Library]] Edition]]
| valign="top" | [[File:LL 2022.jpg|thumb|130px|Paperback 2022]]
|}

==External Links==
[http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/lords-and-ladies.html ''Lords and Ladies'' Annotations - The Annotated Pratchett File]

{{series|before=Small Gods|series=Discworld|after=Men at Arms}}
{{series|series=Witches|before=Witches Abroad|after=Maskerade}}

[[Category:Discworld Series|Lords and Ladies]]
[[Category:Witches Series|Lords and Ladies]]
[[de:Buch:Lords und Ladies]]

Paul Kidby

2026-06-04T00:31:00Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40793 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Character Data
|title=Paul Kidby
|photo=Paul Kidby.jpg|240px|
|name=Paul Kidby
|age=b.24th June 1964
|race=[[Human]]
|occupation=Artist, Illustrator
|appearance=
|residence=Bournemouth, England
|death=
|parents=
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status=Married
|books=
|cameos=
}}
[[Paul Kidby]] (born 1964) is the second artist to have illustrated the covers for the [[Discworld]] books. After the death of [[Josh Kirby]], Paul Kidby became the standard artist for the covers of the British Discworld novels. Additionally, he provided the illustrations for {{TLH}} and the collections {{TPP}} and {{AOD}}.

Other works include the art he created for the standalone catalogue Discworld and Beyond- A Retrospective, published by St Barbe Museum & Art Gallery, 2012, for the exhibition of the same name; art for multiple [[Discworld Calendars]], art for the first eight [[:Category:Diary Series|Discworld Diaries]] and he is also the illustrator for the official Discworld Colouring Book.

==Book Covers by Paul Kidby==
*{{SOD1}} (1999)
*{{TLH}} (2001, 2002, 2007)
*{{NW}} (2002)
*{{SOD2}} (2002)
*{{WFM}} (2003, 2004, 2017)
*{{MR}} (2003)
*{{NDC}} (2003)
*{{HFOS}} (2004, 2005, 2017)
*{{GP}} (2004)
*{{OYCSM}} (2004)
*{{JatD}} (2004)
*{{JATB}} (2004)
*{{T!}} (2005)
*{{SOD3}} (2005)
*{{W}} (2006*, 2007, 2017)
*{{MM}} (2007)
*[[Book:The Folklore of Discworld|''The Folklore of Discworld'']] (2008)
*{{UA}} (2009, 2014)
*[[Book:The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld|''The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld'']] (2009)
*{{ISWM}} (2010*, 2017)
*{{SN}} (2011*)
*{{TAM}} (2011)
*{{DO}} (2012)
*{{RS}} (2013*, 2014)
*{{SOD4}} (2013*)
*{{TSC}} (2015, 2017)
*[[Book:The Definitive Good Omens|''The Definitive Good Omens'']] (2019*)
*[[Book:The Illustrated Guards! Guards!|''The Illustrated Guards! Guards!'']] (2020*)
*{{TAG}} (2023)
*{{DTPD}} (2024)

<nowiki>*</nowiki>Multiple covers produced in the same year.

==Books Illustrated by Paul Kidby==
*{{TPP}}
*{{TGL}}
*{{DD}}
*{{TLH}}
*{{AOD}}
*{{UUD}}
*{{CWD}}
*{{AGD}}
*{{FGD}}
*{{TGD}}
*{{RVD}}
*{{TCDA}} (with [[Bernard Pearson]] and Sheila Watkins)
*{{AMPOH}}
*{{LTYOE}}
*[[Book:Nanny Ogg's Cookbook|''Nanny Ogg's Cookbook'']]
*[[Book:GURPS Discworld|''GURPS Discworld/ Discworld Roleplaying Game'']]
*[[Book:Discworld and Beyond A Retrospective|''Discworld and Beyond-A Retrospective'']]
*[[Book:The Dodger's Guide to London|''The Dodger's Guide to London'']]
*[[Book:Terry Pratchett's Discworld Colouring Book|''Terry Pratchett's Discworld Colouring Book'']]
*[[Book:Terry Pratchett's Discworld Imaginarium|''Terry Pratchett's Discworld Imaginarium'']]
*[[Book:Terry Pratchett: HisWorld A Brief Guide to Discworld|''Terry Pratchett: HisWorld A Brief Guide to Discworld'']]
*[[Book:Terry Pratchett HisWorld Official Exhibition Companion|''Terry Pratchett HisWorld Official Exhibition Companion'']]
*[[Book:The Definitive Good Omens|''The Definitive Good Omens'']]
*{{AMAV1}}
*[[Book:The Illustrated Guards! Guards!|''The Illustrated Guards! Guards!'’]]
*{{AMAV2}}
*{{TAG}}
*{{DTPD}}

==External Links==
*[http://www.discworld.com/ Discworld.com] (formerly [[Discworld.com|PJSM Prints]]) – a great place for news about Terry and various Discworld productions, and to admire or buy Discworld art.
*[http://www.paulkidby.com/ Paul Kidby's personal site]
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Kidby Paul Kidby] on Wikipedia
*[https://www.facebook.com/paulkidby/?ref=py_c Paul Kidby on Facebook]
*[https://twitter.com/PaulKidby Paul Kidby on Twitter]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Kidby, Paul}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Order of the Honeybee]]
[[de:Paul Kidby]]

Mustrum Ridcully

2026-06-04T00:30:53Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40792 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Character Data
|title= Mustrum Ridcully
|photo=mustrum.jpg|Mustrum Ridcully by [[user:darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name= Mustrum Ridcully
|age= 67 in {{MP}}
|race= [[:Category:Human characters|Human]]
|occupation= [[Archchancellor]] of [[Unseen University]]
|appearance= Large, bearded, physically fit (for a wizard)
|residence= [[Unseen University]], [[Ankh-Morpork]]
|death=
|parents= Mother still alive during {{RM}}
|relatives= brother, [[Hughnon Ridcully]]; Verruca (distant cousin)
|children= none
|marital status= Never Married
|books= {{RM}}, {{LL}}, {{SM}}, {{IT}}, {{H}}, {{TLC}}, {{TLH}}
|cameos= {{MP}}, {{J}}, {{TT}}, {{MAA}}, {{NW}}, {{GP}}, {{T!}}, {{MM}}, {{UA}}, {{TSC}}

}}

'''Mustrum Ridcully (the Brown)''' is the current [[Archchancellor]] of [[Unseen University]]. He holds the following UU degrees and honours: DThau, DM, BS, DMn, DG, DD, DMPhil, DMS, DCM, DW & BElL. Before becoming the Archchancellor he had been away from the University for almost 40 years living in the countryside in the [[Ramtops]]. He had relatives near [[Bad Ass]], where he was the one-time romantic interest of [[Granny Weatherwax| Esme Weatherwax]].

A [[wizard's magic|wizard]] of the 7th level by the age of 27. He rejoined the Unseen University when it was thought that he would only last for just long enough for the Wizards of the Unseen University to take a break from all the changes in Archchancellor that result from several hundred wizards all wanting the top spot at the university, and all being willing to use any means necessary to get it. The wizards thought they would be getting the sort of countryside wizard who talks to birds in soft voices, wears brown and reveres mother nature (y'know, a push over).

What they got was someone who shoots birds (and anything else), talks at a consistent shout, wears jogging suits and has about as much respect for mother nature as he does for the members of the faculty (which is not a lot). Early attempts to bump off Ridcully resulted in the ambitious Wizard being stabbed with his own knife, having his head repeatedly slammed in doors or being surreptitiously shot with a crossbow. As a result, any upwardly mobile wizards are now less upright, immobile and enjoying the huge dinners and lack of effort that comes with a stable hierarchy.

As a leader, Ridcully is completely closed off to any new ideas and refuses to listen to anyone whose problems don't take more than a minute to explain. He reasons that if someone is still trying to explain it after a few minutes, it's probably just about important enough to warrant some attention. He is simple, in that his mind is very hard to change, but he is by no means stupid, and he knows Wizardry inside out, and back to front. It's just all these new "[[Uncertainty Principle|uncertainty principles]]" and other strange ideas from the younger wizards that he can't, or refuses to, understand. In fact, that is just as well, because the younger wizards don't understand it, either; what they do is speculate very extensively.

There is a downside though. Ridcully seems to think that all everybody needs is some good exercise, to get up at the crack of dawn and a team spirit. To that end, he organises paintball matches between faculties and encourages wizards to get some exercise, such as running round the octangle a few hundred times. The wizards do not like this one bit, but they seem to be able to avoid it. The only wizard who manages to get in the way of Ridcully's high spirits is the [[Bursar]], a quiet Wizard who enjoys numbers and not much else. Ridcully seems to think that what he really needs is lightening up, and tries to do this by jumping out from behind doors and screaming at him. The Bursar's already fragile sanity has since snapped.

He has played a prominent role in preventing many of the larger disasters (usually of a trans-dimensional or magical nature) that have threatened the Disc since he became Archchancellor. Although brash and loud and seemingly unable to listen, he is nevertheless capable of extreme erudition and insight, and occasionally displays formidable magical prowess. He often sees through [[Ponder Stibbons]]' cleverness and - whilst being defiantly boneheaded about things until they are important enough for him to bother understanding - he can cut to the bone of an idea incisively and often winks at people (Ponder, [[Susan Sto-Helit|Susan]] etc) to show that he knows far more than he tells.

His [[Mustrum Ridcully's Hat|hat]] is a work of wonder, and his bed is not far off. This bed and a half is 8 posted containing a small bar, library and privy. Presumably it's a very ''hygienic'' privy, as the Archchancellor has strong feelings about hygiene. He has even a - of course pointy! - shower cap of his own design.

In his youth, Mustrum rowed for the university for 5 years and was awarded a [[University Brown]]. He was classmates with Dean Henry.

His brother [[Hughnon Ridcully]] is the high priest of [[Blind Io]] in [[Ankh-Morpork]].

Ridcully is introduced in [[Moving Pictures]] as a countrified, squirearchical wizard (read: homicidal crossbow-wielding maniac) who had spent his time managing his family's estates. In [[Unseen Academicals]], however, we learn that his father was an Ankh-Morpork butcher, and ''his'' father was a prizefighter, from which one may deduce that there is an untold story in the background, involving a high-born lady running off with a 'bit of rough' from the Big Wahoonie. Ridcully's mother, incidentally, was still alive as at the events of {{RM}}, when he was chided by his brother for not writing to her.

The Ridcully family appear to have had a long association with Ankh-Morpork: the [[Annotated Directory of Streets, Alleys, Roads Lanes and Yards of Ankh-Morpork]] and its associated street map ({{CAM}}) lists an Ephram Ridcully Street* (A6-B6) leading from Farnicle Lane*(A6) to Saddlesore Road*(B6). Farnicle Lane connects to [[Snapcase Street]] and [[Endless Street]], while Saddlesore Road leads to the [[Edgeway Road]]].

==Titles==
Mustrum Ridcully is ''D.Thau., D.M., D.S., D.Mn., D.G., D.D., D.C.L., D.M. Phil., D.M.S., D.C.M., D.W., B.El.L.'' and Archchancellor.

A short explanation on [[Unseen University|UU]] courses is available [[UU degrees|here]].

==Annotation==

Another famous 'Brown wizard' was {{wp|Radagast_the_Brown|Radagast the Brown}} from Tolkien's ''The Lord of the Rings'', who wears brown and has especially good relations to birds. Almost exactly the type of wizard Ridcully was expected to be.

Paintball matches between departments at a University (in this case Caltech, Pasadena) are a staple situation in long-running comedy sitcom ''The Big Bang Theory''. The squabbling and rather unworldly intellectuals and academics of TBBT would be right at home at UU; half the time their leisure time is spent in boardgames, RPG's and trading games featuring stock fantasy situations, so they're halfway there anyway. The show has already featured one fairly blatant Reverse Annotation to the Discworld, in the middle of a plethora of sci-fi, fantasy and comic book references...

:
[[Category:Discworld characters|Ridcully, Mustrum]]
[[Category:Serial characters|Ridcully, Mustrum]]
[[Category:Supporting characters|Ridcully, Mustrum]]
[[Category:Human characters|Ridcully, Mustrum]]
[[Category:Wizards|Ridcully, Mustrum]]
[[de:Mustrum Ridcully]]

Book:The Compleat Ankh-Morpork

2026-06-04T00:30:48Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40791 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Book Data
|title=The Compleat Ankh-Morpork
|cover=[[File:TCAM.jpg|thumb|240px|Cover]]
|coauthors=[[Discworld Emporium|The Discworld Emporium]]
|illustrator=[[Peter Dennis]]
|date=November 2012
|publisher=Doubleday
|isbn=0857520741
|pages=128
|rrp=£25.00
|series=Maps
|characters=
|annotations=
|notes=
}}
The complete guide to the city of [[Ankh-Morpork]] and its wealth of guilds, entertainments, and activities. Released in November 2012, the publishers' blurb runs:

''There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along the wrong way.'

''Ankh-Morpork! City of One Thousand Surprises (according to the famous publication by the [[Guild of Merchants]])! All human life is here! Although, if it walks down the wrong alley, often quite briefly!

''This is the city celebrated in [[Terry Pratchett]]'s bestselling Discworld series as you've never seen it before. A stunning map and comprehensive street directory covering each and every district from [[Unseen University]] to [[the Shades]], major landmarks like the [[Patrician's Palace]] to little-known, er, nooks like [[Dwarf Bread Museum]] in [[Whirligig Alley]]. See the notorious establishments and famous streets along which so many heroes have walked, in some cases quite hurriedly.

''As leading Ankh-Morpork entrepreneur [[CMOT Dibbler]] would say, 'A snip at any price - and that's cutting our own throat. Well, close.''

And there is an updated and fully revised version of the {{SAM}}, with directory, included in the package. Lots and lots and lots of previously un-named streets and places of interest, together with places not fully realised at the time of the first Mapp, such as the [[Lady Sybil Free Hospital]].

The mapp contains either a little joke, a graphic typo or the startling revelation that the [[Discworld]] has reversed its spin. The compass at the top would indicate that [[Ankh (city)|Ankh]] was on the ''[[widdershins]]'' side of the river.

===[[Game:Discworld: The Ankh-Morpork Map|Discworld: The Ankh-Morpork Map App]]===
This map was also released as an interactive app for IOS systems that contains some additional material and other game related additions such as achievements. The app was discontinued for IOS 11 and upwards after Apple dropped support for 32 bit games and is no longer available.

[https://web.archive.org/web/20160731013100/http://discworldapp.com/ http://discworldapp.com (Archived Link)]

[https://web.archive.org/web/20181224183943/https://www.terrypratchettbooks.com/farewell-discworld-app/ Farewell Message to the Discworld App (Archived Link)]

[http://discworldapp.com/ http://discworldapp.com (Current link, redirect to terrypratchettbooks.com)]

[[Category:Maps|Compleat Ankh-Morpork,The]]
[[Category:Streets of Ankh-Morpork|Compleat Ankh-Morpork,The]]
[[Category:Ankh-Morpork Series|Compleat Ankh-Morpork,The]]

Book:Sourcery

2026-06-04T00:30:41Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40790 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Book Data
|title=Sourcery
|cover=[[File:Sourcery2.jpg|thumb|240px|Cover art by Josh Kirby]]
|coauthors=
|illustrator=[[Josh Kirby]]
|date=May 1988
|publisher=Victor Gollancz
|isbn=9780575042179
|pages=269
|rrp=
|series=Rincewind Series
|characters=[[Rincewind]], [[The Luggage]], [[Nijel the Destroyer]], [[Coin]], [[Conina]]
|annotations=
|notes=Book #05
}}
==Blurb==
There was an eighth son of an eighth son. He was, quite naturally, a [[wizard's magic|wizard]]. And there it should have ended. However (for reasons we'd better not go into), he had seven sons. And then he had an eighth son... a wizard squared... a source of magic... a [[Sourcerer]].

==Plot==
The [[wizard's magic|wizard]] [[Ipslore the Red]] was banished from the [[Unseen University]] for disobeying the [[Lore of Magic]] by falling in love and having children. This is forbidden because the eighth son of an eighth son of an eighth son is a [[sourcerer]]: an exceptionally powerful wizard who is a "source of magic", and who caused great damage to the [[Discworld|Disc]] in the [[Mage Wars]] of the past. Ipslore, blaming the death of his wife in childbirth on the University, plans to hand over his unusual [[octiron]] wizard's staff to his infant eighth son, whom he names [[Coin]]. When [[Death]] comes to collect Ipslore's soul, he escapes by placing his spirit into his staff as he hands it over. This allows him to evade passing, steer his son into doing his bidding and plot revenge against the University. But Death makes him place a loophole in his son's destiny to appease the laws of fate: there will be a chance to defeat Coin if he throws away his staff, a very unlikely course for a wizard.

Eight years later, Coin strides into the University and kills the new Archchancellor, [[Virrid Wayzygoose]]. When the wizards see Coin's power, they welcome him and accept him as their new archchancellor. Meanwhile, [[Rincewind]], [[The Luggage]] and the [[Librarian]] flee the university. At the [[Mended Drum]], they meet [[Conina]], the daughter of [[Cohen the Barbarian]] who works as a thief. She has stolen the [[Archchancellor's Hat]] at its own request: it has become sentient after being worn by hundreds of the Disc's most powerful wizards. The hat warns them of the danger that Coin poses to the Disc, and instructs them to take to it [[Al Khali]] in [[Klatch]], where there is someone worthy of wearing it.

Under Coin's leadership, the wizards take over [[Ankh-Morpork]] and begin planning to take over the Disc. Coin abolishes the rules, orders the library to be destroyed and sends them to attack other countries. Wars break out between wizards across the Disc. Rincewind, Conina and travel to Al Khali, which is ruled by [[Creosote]], the current [[Seriph]], and his treacherous vizier [[Abrim]]. Rincewind is thrown into a snake pit where he meets the barbarian wannabe hero [[Nijel the Destroyer]], Conina is taken to Creosote's [[wikipedia:harem|harem]] and the Luggage, spurned by Conina, goes rampaging in the desert after getting drunk.

A group of Ankh Morpork wizards arrive and attack Al Khali. The heavy presence of magic causes Rincewind to gain abilities of his own and he uses them to rescue himself and Nijel from the snake pit. They meet with Conina (who falls in love with Nijel) and Creosote. Abrim tries on the Archchancellor's Hat, hoping to gain improved abilities. Instead, the Hat possesses him. He is directed to enlist other wizards to fight the invaders and demolish the palace to build a wizard's tower. Rincewind, Conina, Nijel and Creosote escape on a magic carpet. After hearing Creosote complain about wizards, Rincewind angrily leaves, flying back to Ankh-Morpork on a magic carpet. Abrim is killed by the invading wizards after being distracted by the Luggage, and the Hat and tower are destroyed. Coin becomes powerful enough to challenge the Gods, trapping them in an alternative reality. This frees the [[Ice Giants]], allowing them to invade the Disc and fulfil the prophecy of the [[Apocralypse]].

Back at the University, Rincewind discovers the Librarian has hidden the Library books in the [[Tower of Art]]. The Librarian convinces him to confront the Sourcerer. Armed with only a half-brick in a sock, Rincewind confronts Coin. He is too powerless to fight, but he causes Coin to doubt his father's will. Coin tries to throw away his staff, causing a fight between the two in which they draw on all the magic they have brought into the world. Rincewind aids Coin, and the sourcerer succeeds, allowing [[Death]] to take Ipslore's soul from the staff.

The resulting magical explosion throws Rincewind and Coin into the [[Dungeon Dimensions]] and leaves a portal open to the Discworld, around which are clustered the monstrous "Things" who will soon be able to invade and consume the world. Rincewind distracts the Things so Coin can escape and restore the gods, to prevent the Apocralypse. The plan works, and Coin undoes all the damage he has done, but Rincewind is trapped as the portal closes, with the Luggage catching up just in time to leap through and follow its master. When Conina and Nijel arrive looking for Rincewind, Coin makes them forget about him so that they can live in peace. Realising he is too powerful for the Disc, he then steps into a dimension of his own creation.

==Characters==
===Main Characters===
* [[Marmaric Carding]]
* [[Coin]]
* [[Conina]]
* [[The Luggage]]
* [[Nijel the Destroyer]]
* [[Rincewind]]
* [[Spelter]]

===Minor Characters===
* [[Abrim]], the {{wp|Grand Vizier|Grand Vizier}} of Al Khali
* [[Creosote]], the Seriph of Al Khali
* [[Ipslore the Red]]
* [[Librarian]]
* [[Havelock Vetinari]]
* [[Virrid Wayzygoose]]

===Cameos===
* [[Death]] and the temporarily Horse-less men of the [[Apocralypse]]:
** [[War]]
** [[Famine]]
** [[Pestilence]]
* [[Skarmer Billias]]
* [[Gravie Derment]], of the [[Sages of the Unknown Shadow]]
* [[Ice Giants]]
* [[Larry the Fox]] or perhaps [[Fezzy the Stoat]]
* [[Ovin Hakardly]], a 7th level wizard who can speak punctuation
* [[Wuffles]]
* [[Ardrothy Longstaff]], seller of pork pies
* [[Miskin Koble]], who runs a jellied starfish and clam stall, and is killed by a wizard he attempts to hit
* [[Benado Sconner]], leader of a group of wizards who burn down the library. The text specifically informs us that his name is "not worth committing [...] to memory"
* [[Genie]] of the lamp of Creosote's grandfather, who is somewhat over-committed
* [[Blind Io]]

===Mentioned===
* [[Maligree]], a sourcerer
* [[Gritoller Mimpsey]], vice-president of the [[Thieves' Guild]]
* [[Cohen]], Conina's father
* [[Hersheba|Hashishim]], a group of mad killers named after the vast quantities of hashish they consumed
* [[Thugs]], a nastier group of cut-throats
* [[Ly Tin Wheedle]], arguably the Disc's greatest philosopher (at least, he always argued that he was)

==Locations==
* [[Ankh-Morpork]]
** [[The Mended Drum]]
** [[Plaza of Broken Moons]]
** [[Sator Square]]
** [[The Shades]]
*** [[The Troll's Head]], a truly disreputable tavern
** [[Sniggs Alley]] (mentioned)
** [[Unseen University]]
*** [[Great Hall]]
*** [[Tower of Art]]
*** [[Library]]
* [[Carrack Mountains]], overlooking the [[Sto Plains]]
* [[Cori Celesti]], where the gods dwell, at the [[Hub]]
* [[Circle Sea]]
* [[Klatch]]
** [[Al Khali]]
*** [[The Soak]], a kind of bazaar
*** [[Wilderness]] of Creosote
*** [[Rhoxie]], the Seriph's Palace
*** [[River Tsort]]
*** temple of [[Offler]] the Crocodile God, patron deity of Al Khali
** Lost City of [[Ee]] (mentioned)
* [[Mount Gebra]], a mountain where goats graze
* [[Quirm]], which overlooks the [[Rim Ocean]]
* [[Maligree's Wonderful Garden]]

==Sentient Species==
*[[Gargoyles]]
*[[Humans]]

==Supernatural Entities==
*[[Death]] & the [[Four Horsemen|Horsemen]] of the the [[Apocralypse]]
*[[Genies]]
*[[Dungeon Dimensions|Horrors from the Dungeon Dimensions]]
*[[The gods|The Gods]]
*[[Ice Giants]]

==Timeframe==
* [[Small Gods' Eve]], on which it's considered extremely bad form to kill a brother wizard and [[Small Gods' Day]], the next morning
* [[Discworld calendar|Year of the Hyena]]
* [[Soul Cake Tuesday]] (mentioned)

==Things Mentioned==
* Books
** ''[[Anima Unnaturale]]'', a book written by [[Broomfog]] that describes many unusual animals
** ''[[Fullomyth]]'', a mystical book with a lot of information
** ''[[Inne Juste 7 Dayes I wille make you a Barbearian Hero!]]''
** ''[[Wellcome to Ankh-Morporke, Citie of One Thousand Surprises]]'', a book published by the Ankh-Morpork [[Guild of Merchants]]
* Spells, things and concepts
** [[Brother Hushmaster's Potent Asp-Spray]], a powerful spell
** [[Maligree's Wonderful Garden]], a powerful spell
** [[Megrim's Accelerator]], a powerful spell
* [[Archchancellor's Hat]], worn on the head by the head of all wizards
* [[Apocralypse]] and [[Teatime of the Gods]]
* ''[[Ocean Waltzer]]'', a ship that takes Rincewind and Conina to Klatch
* [[orakh]], a powerful alcoholic beverage
* [[Klatchian Coffee]], a powerful "anti-alcoholic" beverage that makes its drinkers [[knurd]]
* [[Triple Orcthrust with Extra Flip]], a nifty sword manoeuvre that will impress your enemies right up until it leaves your sword stuck in the ceiling
* [[geas]], an unusual kind of bird (also a kind of quest)
* [[Mage Wars]]
* the [[Lore]], which rules all wizards, but not sourcerers
* [[Significant Quest]], a game whose name parodies {{wp|Trivial_Pursuit|Trivial Pursuit}}
* [[Five Moons of Nasreem]], an important mythological concept in Al Khali
* [[Seventeen Siderites of Sarudin]], goddesses(?) by which genies can presumably be commanded
* [[Two Beards of Imtal]], an important mythological concept in Al Khali
* [[Dungeon Dimensions]]
* [[racial memory]], the concept that people are born with memories of their ancestors

==Adaptations==
Terry Pratchett has stated that ''Sourcery'' will be the fifth Discworld novel to be adapted for Sky One, although he initially wanted to adapt {{MM}}. However, he thinks it may work better as a film and he can have fun with characters like Nijel the Destroyer. In the end Sky One did not adapt this.

Portions of the plot of ''Sourcery'' were used in the [[Theatre Adaptations|stage adaptation]] [[Book:The Rince Cycle|''The Rince Cycle'']].

==Annotations==
* Did Spelter and Carding violate the Small Gods' Eve truce by attacking each other with Megrim's Accelerator and Brother Hushmaster's Potent Asp-Spray? Or did they carefully wait until after midnight before doing so?

* Notice that near the end of the book, the daughter of the Mended Drum's owner tells Creosote the very story of ''Sourcery'' itself, a recursive reference. If, as some suspect, the [[History Monks]] were active in restoring things after the Sourcerer very nearly wrecked the fabric of Discworld space-time (a case may be made from cryptic references in later books) then it is fitting the only survival of the Sourcerer, in folk-memory, should be a fairy-tale. After all, people ''thought'' the story of the "Glass Clock of Bad Schuschein" was ''only'' a fairy tale – fitting, as the History Monks laboured long and hard that this should be so... we are told that most people, after the Sourcerer had passed, were left with faded, hazy, confused, dream-like memories of what might have happened. This is where fairy-tales begin...

==Gallery==
<gallery mode="nolines" heights="120px”>
File:S First.jpg|First Edition Cover by [[Josh Kirby]]
File:S Box.jpg|Promotional Box
File:S Box2.jpg|Contents
File:S Proof.jpg|Book Proof
File:S Letterbox.jpg|'Letterbox' Hardback
File:S Kidd.jpg|New American Library 1990, Cover by Thomas Kidd
File:S Black.jpg|Paperback 2004
File:S Tape.jpg|Audio Cassette
File:S CD.jpg|Audio CD
File:S Roc.jpg|Paperback ROC Publishing
File:S US.jpg|US Cover 2000, 2013
File:S Zoom.jpg|Paperback 2012
File:S Unseen.jpg|[[Unseen Library]] Edition
File:S CL.jpg|[[Discworld Collector’s Library]] Edition
File:S 2022.jpg|Paperback 2022
</gallery>

==External Links==
* [http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/sourcery.html ''Sourcery''] on the [[Annotated Pratchett File]]

{{series|before=Mort|series=Discworld|after=Wyrd Sisters}}
{{series|before=The Light Fantastic|series=Rincewind|after=Eric}}
{{series|before=The Light Fantastic|series=Wizards|after=Interesting Times}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Sourcery}}
[[Category:Discworld Series]]
[[Category:Rincewind Series]]
[[Category:Wizards Series]]
[[de:Buch:Der Zauberhut]]

Book:The Compleat Discworld Atlas

2026-06-04T00:30:37Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40789 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Book Data
|title=The Compleat Discworld Atlas
|cover=[[File:Atlas.jpg|240px|thumb|Cover Design by Claire Ward]]
|coauthors=The [[Discworld Emporium]]
|illustrator=[[Peter Dennis]]
|publisher=Doubleday
|date=22 Oct 2015
|isbn=0857521306
|pages=128
|rrp=£25.00
|series=Maps
|characters=
|annotations=
|notes=
}}
The most authoritative survey of Discworld geography, ethnography and political structure possible, considering the quality of the sources. These include the flee(t)ing observations of Unseen University's [[Rincewind|Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography]], reports from the late Sir [[Roderick Purdeigh]] and other intrepid members of the [[Trespassers' Society|Guild of Trespassers]], recent surveys for the Grand Trunk Semaphore Company and the [[Ankh-Morpork and Sto Plains Hygienic Railway]], and many accounts of mariners, missionaries and travellers.

As well as the large, detailed map and a gazetteer there are descriptions of the political organisation, peoples and economy of the various regions.

==Contents==
Introduction

Ankh-Morpork and the Sto Plains, Pseudopolis, Quirm:
*[[Ankh-Morpork]]
*[[Sto Lat]]
*[[Sto Helit]]
*[[Sto Kerrig]]
*[[Skund]]
*[[Quirm]]
*[[Pseudopolis]]

The Ramtop Region:
*[[Enlightenment country]]
*[[Hubland Steppes]]
*[[Vortex Plains]]
*[[Lancre]]
*[[The Chalk]]
*Upper Ankh Valley

Llamedos and the Turnwise Ocean Coast:
*[[Llamedos]]
*[[Hergen]]
*[[Chimeria]]
*[[Gonim]]
*[[Ecalpon]] and the Dire Straights

Uberwald and the Kneck Valley:
*[[Überwald]]
*[[Borogravia]]
*[[Zlobenia]]
*[[Mouldavia]]

The Widdershins Lands:
*[[NoThingfjord|Nothingford]] and the Scattergut Islands
*[[Great Outdoors]]
*[[Kythia]] and the Kythian Archipelago
*[[Genua]]
*[[The Neverlands]]
*[[Brindisi]]

[[Klatch (continent)|Klatch the Continent]]:
*[[Klatch (country)|Klatch]]
*[[Djelibeybi]]
*[[Elharib]]
*[[Ephebe]]
*[[Klatchistan|Klatchistan and Upper Klatchistan]]
*[[Hersheba]]
*[[Omnia]]
*[[Betrek]]
*[[Istanzia]]
*[[Smale]]
*[[Ushistan]]
*[[Syrrit]]
*[[Tsort]]
*[[Ur]]

[[Howondaland(continent)|Howondaland]]:
*[[Howondaland]]
*[[Urt]]
*[[Great Nef]]
*[[Ymitury]]
*[[Laotan]]
*[[Urabewe]]
*[[S'belinde]]
*[[T'etse]]
*[[Tezuman Empire]]
*[[Sumtri|Sumtri Archipelago]]

[[Muntab|The Muntab Provinces]]

Krull and the Turnwise Ocean Islands:
*[[Krull]]
*[[Pearl Islands]]

The [[Counterweight Continent]] and Surrounding Islands:
*[[People's Beneficent Republic of Agatea]]
*[[Bhangbhangduc]]
*[[Trob|Betrobi Islands]]

Fourecks, The [[Land of Fog]] and [[Purdee Island|Purdeigh Island]]:
*[[Fourecks]]

Atlas Gazetter

==Confirmations and Revelations==
*More recent surveys confirm {{DM}}'s separation of about 800 miles between [[Lancre]] and [[Ankh-Morpork]]. The earlier mentions of 500 miles in the text may be assumed to be guesstimates.
*[[Quirm]], likewise, is confirmed to be about 200 miles from Ankh, not 60 as once suggested.
*[[Skund]] and its eponymous forest have continued their movement rimward-by-widdershins to a position hubward of the [[Morpork Mountains]] and approaching the [[River Smarl]]. The phenomenon also seems to have increased in area.

[[Category:Maps|Compleat Discworld Atlas,The]]
[[Category:Reference|Compleat Discworld Atlas,The]]

Tiffany Aching

2026-06-04T00:30:23Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40786 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Character Data
|title= Tiffany Aching
|photo= Tiffany Aching.png|Tiffany Aching by Paul Kidby
|name= Tiffany Aching
|age= 9 in {{WFM}} 11 in {{HFOS}} 12 & 13 in {{W}} 15 in {{ISWM}} 16, 17 or 18 in {{TSC}} (born around [[1979 UC]])
|race= Human
|occupation= Former Milkmaid, now [[Witch]]
|appearance= Short, slim, brown-haired, wears big boots. Almost never wears black (except for the hat) preferring blue or green. Has a silver necklace of the Horse (later a golden hare necklace).
|residence= Home Farm, The Chalk
|death=
|parents= [[Joe Aching]] (father) Mrs. Aching (mother)
|relatives= [[Sarah Aching]] (Grandmother) Six older sisters including Hannah and Fastidia younger brother [[Wentworth Aching|Wentworth]] Aunt Hetty
|children=
|marital status= single
|books= {{WFM}} {{HFOS}} {{W}} {{ISWM}} {{TSC}} {{TAG}}
|cameos=
}}

'''Tiffany Aching''' is a young witch apprentice. She appears in the Young Adult [[:category:Tiffany Series|Tiffany Series]], which cover several years of her life growing up in a rural area of the [[Discworld]].

==Biography==
Tiffany Aching grew up in a sheep-grazing region known as [[The Chalk]], [[rimwards]] of the [[Ramtops]] on the hubward margin of the [[Sto Plains]]. She has one little brother ([[Wentworth Aching|Wentworth]]) and six older sisters, including Hannah and Fastidia. She is an expert at cheese-making, to the point of making it [[Horace the Cheese|sentient]].

Tiffany's talent was discovered at age 9, by itinerant witch and teacher [[Perspicacia Tick|Miss Tick]]; This surprised her, as [[Well-Known Facts|everyone knows]] that good witches cannot grow on chalk. She is seen as a "gel".

Her first inclination of her unique abilities came as she experienced a susurration when creatures were passing from [[Fairyland]] into her own.

Since she fought off the [[Queen of the Elves]] with an iron frying pan to save her little brother, and [[Roland|the baron's son]], the [[Nac Mac Feegle]] (who helped her on her quest, and who made her a temporary [[Kelda]]) have watched her and helped her through danger, as was presented in her eleventh spring and thirteenth winter, in the form of a hiver and the [[Wintersmith]].

She lives, as aforementioned, on the Chalk, but in the second novel she studies in mountains close to Lancre with [[Constance Level|Miss Level]]. By the third, she has spent time with two other mentors before moving to live with [[Eumenides Treason|Miss Treason]]. After Miss Treason's death, [[Annagramma Hawkin]] takes her cottage, and Tiffany cleans up the mess Annagramma leaves behind.

When Tiffany foolishly joined in with the [[Dark Morris]] dance (which turns autumn into winter), she learned that the supposedly empty spot belonged to [[Summer Lady|Summer]]. This resulted in a lovestruck [[Wintersmith]] and a very angry Summer, who believed that Tiffany was trying to take her place.

In {{ISWM}}, after helping the old Baron to a peaceful death, she learned that she had attracted the attentions of the [[Cunning Man]]. By the end of the tale she had assured her own stead, married Roland (...to someone else), opened a school, made peace between the Chalk-folk and the Feegles, conversed with a [[Eskarina Smith|legendary female wizard]], and spoken to herself from the future.

In {{TSC}}, Tiffany inherits [[Granny Weatherwax]]’s belongings and steading. She struggles to take care of the people of both the Chalk and Bad Ass, as well as becoming the new “head witch”. She takes on [[Geoffrey Swivel|an apprentice]], and must deal with another invasion of Elves, under a [[Peaseblossom|new leader]]. Afterwards she gives up Granny’s steading to concentrate on being the witch of the Chalk.

After settling back into her life as witch of the Chalk, Tiffany completed the manuscript for a book she had been working on throughout her time learning to be a witch, with helpful input from Granny, Nanny, Ms Tick and other witches (and less helpful input from Rob Anybody and the Feegles). {{TAG}} was published by [[Goatberger|Goatberger Publishers]] in Ankh-Morpork.

==Characteristics==
Tiffany is mature for her age. She is serious and literal like [[Granny Weatherwax]], but unlike Granny she is still learning fast (Granny's learned a lot but she'd say she's learning faster). She has second and third thoughts, and occasionally fourth thoughts.
Her connection with the Chalk is important to her, which makes it very strong - the connection saved Tiffany from the [[Hiver]], helping her to expel it from herself when it had consumed every other victim it took.

==Relationships==
The most important person in her life was her late grandmother [[Granny Aching]] (who referred to her as "Jiggit").

Tiffany cares for her family deeply: while she may find her brother irritating, she saves him from the Queen of the Elves. She also grows closer to her father as the books go on, feeling she can always be honest with him.

Tiffany is officially single, and believes this how a Witch should stay. She had a romantic connection with [[Roland]] once, which leads to some rare (internal) immaturity when he finds himself [[Letitia Keepsake|a fiancée]]. She also had a brief relationship with the [[Wintersmith]]. In [[I Shall Wear Midnight]], Tiffany became interested in medical student and former guard [[Preston]], who gifted her the golden hare necklace.

In a professional capacity, she forms working relationships and tentative friendships with [[Annagramma Hawkin]] and [[Petulia Gristle]]. She marvels at [[Nanny Ogg]] too.

Tiffany has a strong (if a bit prickly) mentor-apprentice relationship with [[Granny Weatherwax]], which grew to a level of importance rivalling her own granny's. Aside from being allowed to call her Granny (she's 'Mistress Weatherwax' to everyone else), Tiffany gifted her a white kitten later called [[You]] - as in, "''Here, You''!" or "''Stop that, You''!" Granny Weatherwax appears to be impressed with Tiffany, which is an extraordinarily difficult thing to achieve.

==Annotations==
* Tiffany is 9 years old in {{WFM}}, and around two years elapse between subsequent novels. She is stated to be 16 in {{ISWM}}.
* All Tiffany's adventures seem to have a connection to winter. In [[The Wee Free Men]], Fairyland and the parts of the Chalk that get taken over by the Fairy Queen are covered with snow. In [[A Hat Full of Sky]], the creature that takes over Tiffany is called a hiver (hiver being the French word for winter). In [[Wintersmith]], the Wintersmith that brings winter to the land falls in love with Tiffany.
* Tiffany has a silver necklace of the Horse, a gift from Roland. At the end of {{ISWM}} she receives a golden necklace of a hare from Preston, completing the Sun-Moon symbology.
[[Image:Horse.jpg|600px|thumb|left|Picture of the Horse by [[User:Knmatt|Matt Smith]].
The horse has also been made into a piece of jewellery by Barrie Wakeford. This is based on the White Horse near Uffington in the UK.]]

==Also See==
* [[wikipedia:Tiffany Aching|Tiffany Aching's Entry]] on [[wikipedia:Wikipedia|Wikipedia]]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Aching, Tiffany}}
[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[Category:Leading characters]]
[[Category:Human characters]]
[[Category:Witches]]
[[Category:Tiffany Series characters]]
[[de:Tiffany Weh]]

Quirm

2026-06-04T00:30:19Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40785 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Nation Data
|title= The Duchy of Quirm
|picture= FloralC.jpg|[[The Floral Clock]]
|established=Bien sûr!
|motto=
|neighbours= [[Ankh-Morpork]], [[Pseudopolis]]
|features=
|population= 13,054, according to the Bradshaw Guide
|size=
|capital=Ville de Quirm
|government= independent Duchy; {{RS}} offers a more complete picture; a constitutional nobility supported by a National Assembly, efficiency unknown but thought ineffectual.
|notablecitizens= the Da Quirms, the Rodleys, [[Leonard of Quirm]], Lady Roberta, Madame [[Deux-Epées]], the [[Marquis]], [[Thieves' Guild|Madame Escroc]].
|imports= retirees from Ankh
|exports= fancy foods with [[Avec]], wine, art, education, dodgy seafood produce
|anthem=
|books= many set in Ankh-Morpork; {{SN}} and {{RS}} are partially set in Quirm. [[Book:Mrs Bradshaw's Handbook|Mrs Bradshaw's Handbook]] offers a more comprehensive overview. This is further expanded in {{CDA}}
}}

'''The Duchy of Quirm''' lies along the coast of the [[Rim Ocean]], about two hundred miles turnwise from [[Ankh-Morpork]].1 Its current ruler is [[Lord Rodley]], His Grace, the Duke of Quirm, the son of [[Brenda Rodley]], Her Grace the Dowager Duchess. Quirm is famous for its explorers and inventors, the da Quirms, including [[Ponce da Quirm]] and [[Leonard of Quirm|Leonard da Quirm]], infamous for Norris, the Eyeball-Eating Maniac of Quirm and [[Bergholt Stuttley Johnson|B.S. Johnson's]] typically unfortunate [[Collapsed Tower of Quirm]]. It is known as the place with a [[The Floral Clock|floral clock]], and no excitement. It is also known in The Big Wahoonie that Quirm has better food, wine, weather, air and water and the burghers of Ankh hope to retire there, but really! the place is full of ''foreigners!'' While it is regarded as a sleepy, slightly boring place, Quirm supplies Ankh-Morpork with a great many artists, artisans, chefs, and cultural movers and shakers; something must be going on there. The primary defining feature of the disc-famous Quirmian cooking is by the inclusion of the mystical and near mythical 'avec', which is known the multiverse over as the sure sign of the best food.

1 ''This distance was once reported as twenty leagues, but Discworld surveying and cartography was notoriously unreliable before Ned Simnel's more rigorous approach. The intervention of [[Holy Wood]] might have had an effect as well.''

Quirm has an army: its so far only named unit is the [[Duke of Quirm's Middleweight Infantry Regiment]]. This has the added distinction of having been the young [[Fred Colon]]'s first taste of Army service, presumably in the days where Fred was a middleweight and working up to his [[Pheasant Pluckers|next posting]]. Quirm probably had more military and political power at some point in history, as influence of the [[Quirmian]] language is found far across the continent in [[Genua]].

Quirm is also the location of the [[Quirm College for Young Ladies]], and as such one of the minor settings in ''[[Book:Soul Music|Soul Music]]''. The college has been popular with the upper class for many years; many of [[Sybil Ramkin|Lady Sybil's]] friends are Old Girls there, as are Miss [[Perspicacia Tick]], and [[Susan Sto Helit]].

[[C.V. Cheesewaller]] is a well-known local Wizard and the original proprietor of the talking raven known as [[Quoth]]. The city had a [[Mayor of Quirm|mayor]] though it is unclear if he retained his job after the events of [[Soul Music]].

[[La Sorbumme]] is a district in the old town of the city of Quirm, and is the seat of the [[Quirme Société Joyeux|Quirmian tradition of foolery and clowning]], which while it has a longer history than in [[Ankh-Morpork]] was subsumed into the [[Fools' Guild]] several hundred years ago. Today, the Ankh-Morpork Guild uses its extensive holdings at La Sorbumme both as a summer school and as a retirement home for geriatric clowns. The good folk of Quirm are presumably delighted at the wealth of entertainment talent available to them not just every summer but year-round. They are enjoined to be careful where they place their feet in and around the Collapsed Tower, as the litter of banana skins and spilt custard can make movement hazardous. Quirm has no ban on street theatre as is to be found in Ankh-Morpork. You have been warned.

Due to a miscommunication in the twilight years of the Ankh-Morpork monarchy, Quirm's branch of the [[Quirm Royal Post Office|Royal Post Office]] once employed trained ostriches as delivery staff. It is unclear if this practice has resumed as part of the Post's current revival.

In the book {{SN}}, a minor sub-plot deals with a policing exchange between Ankh-Morpork and Quirm, in which we learn of [[La Gendarmerie de Quirm]] for the first time as an ''extremely'' Sûreté- like police force with a suspiciously French take on policing. but will it have its Clouseau? A central character in the Quirmian police is Captain [[Emile]].

From {{SN}}, we can infer that the border region between Ankh-Morpork and Quirm proper is a largely Morporkian-speaking area, known colloquially as The Shires. This region may overlap Quirmian territory for quite some way.

We also learn in {{SN}} that [[Quirm]] has a full-fledged [[Quirm Zoo|City Zoo]], which makes it one step ahead of [[Ankh-Morpork]] in this respect. [[Sam Vimes]] takes [[Young Sam]] there to see the elephants and gain raw material for his new, engrossing, albeit inexpensive, hobby.

The City of Quirm also hosts a thriving branch of the [[Alchemists' Guild]] where the Alchemists have the rare common sense to employ at least one [[golem]] as a lab assistant to deal with all the toxic and dangerous stuff. It apparently has arsenic plated to its fingers due to stirring vats of molten material with its arms.

A town called [[Aix-En-Pains]] is referenced in {{RS}}, as a halt on the railway line between Ankh-Morpork and Quirm.

The political and physical geography of Quirm appears to be most completely realised in {{RS}}. The map of the railway network on pp 8-9 lays out the Duchy most clearly and reveals it to be a fairly large state sandwiched between Ankh-Morpork to the Rimwards and Pseudopolis to the Hubwards. The River Quire cuts the state in two as it meanders from the Shires and the Carrack Mountains. An area nearby to the Circle sea coast, identified as "The Netherglades", appears to be the ''[[maquis]]'' country described in the text. A substantial loop of the railway runs through here. Interestingly, we are informed that one other local peculiarity that absolutely meant the railway had to be re-routed in Quirm was a whole area completely inhabited by [[Zombies]]. No other information is given. But on Roundworld, Zombies are strongly associated with areas once colonised by the French: Haiti and Louisiana in the Carribean. Is there a tale to be told here?

The political complexion of Quirm is one of a constitutional nobility with the Rodley dynasty at the top and lesser nobles beneath - the [[Marquis]] of the [[Maquis]] country is one such who has the authority and influence to deal with [[Moist von Lipwig]]. There is apparently also a National Assembly to which Deputées are either elected, or more likely, appointed.

We also learn that the semi-affectionate Ankh-Morporkian word for Quirmian natives is '''lobsters''. This may have to do with Quirm being the originating point for most of the big city's seafood - another pressing reason for the railway to go there, so as to bring in food that isn't capable of scuttling in on its own legs, or else has not been contaminated by running it by road for three days and trying to keep it fresh by storing it in up to three icehouses en route. This proves the people doing road transportation are "trying", they really are, but they haven't yet understood one of the primal rules about seafood: do ''not'' re-freeze previously thawed out produce. And certainly do ''not'' freeze it, then run it by road for a day, refreeze it again, and then allow it to thaw out on a second day on the road. It is very possible that Sir [[Harry King]]'s painful and debilitating bout of food poisoning from some seriously elderly haddock was the spur to getting the whole railway business funded in the first place.

==Quirm in the Bradshaw Guide==
As you might expect from a railway traveller's companion, [[Book:Mrs Bradshaw's Handbook|Mrs Bradshaw's Handbook]] offers the so-far fullest and most comprehensive guide to the Duchy and City of Quirm. Chapters 2 and 3 (pp 35-78) deal with the rail journey to and through Quirm and the [[Netherglades]]. Quirm is served by a dedicated express route out of [[Ankh-Morpork]] and its magnificent railway station is informally called ''Guy de Norde'' after its locally-born [[Guild of Architects|architect]], a man of whom Quirm is rightfully proud.

==Annotation==

" It is also known in The Big Wahoonie that Quirm has better food, wine, weather, air and water and the burghers of Ankh hope to retire there, but really! the place is full of ''foreigners''!"

This mirrors the way lots and lots of affluent Brits have semi-retired to nice parts of France, like Provence, and love everything about France except the natives and the language. Think of the classic work "A Year in Provence" by a typical rather smug Brit who did this, extolling the cheapness of land and housing, the more affordable standard of living, while deploring the surliness of the natives, and you have the character type off pat.

Quirm may be the "France" of the Discworld, but it would not have had much of the same sort of history of our France: squeezed out of Imperial contention and pretension at a much earlier stage by mighty neighbour Ankh-Morpork, the Quirmian language might well be that of diplomacy and catering, but not as important a world language as its counterpart on Roundworld.

But it can be seen as generating equally proud and culturally aware people, who play their country up for all they possibly can.

The [[Netherglades]] also evoke the Acadian settlements in North America and the Cajun people of Louisiana and the Bayou. Another of those North-America-like places Terry maintains the Disc will never have? Like Louisiana and the Caribbean, especially Haiti, the Neverglades are noted for a large population of [[Zombies]] of the traditional type.

[[category:Discworld geography]]
[[Category:Streets and Landmarks of Quirm‎]]
[[de:Quirm]]

Book:Guards! Guards!

2026-06-04T00:30:14Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40784 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Book Data
|title=Guards! Guards!
|cover=[[File:G!G!.jpg|240px]]
|coauthors=
|illustrator=Josh Kirby
|date=August 1989
|publisher=Victor Gollancz
|isbn=0575046066
|pages=352
|rrp=
|series=Watch Series
|characters=[[Carrot Ironfoundersson]], [[Samuel Vimes]], [[Fred Colon]], [[Nobby]], [[Havelock Vetinari]], The [[Elucidated Brethren of the Ebon Night]]
|annotations=yes
|notes=Book #08
}}
==Blurb==
This is where the [[Noble dragon|dragons]] went.

They lie ... not dead, not asleep, but ... dormant. And although the space they occupy isn't like normal space, nevertheless they are packed in tightly. They could put you in mind of a can of sardines, if you thought sardines were huge and scaly. And presumably, somewhere, there's a key ...

Guards! Guards! is the eighth Discworld novel – and after this, dragons will never be the same again!

==Plot==
The Unique and Supreme Lodge of the [[Elucidated Brethren of the Ebon Night]] is a secret society who plot to take over Ankh-Morpork. They steal a magic book called ''[[The Summoning of Dragons]]'' from the [[Unseen University]] and use it to summon a [[noble dragon]]. Once the dragon has caused sufficient destruction and panic, their [[Lupine Wonse|Supreme Grand Master]] will put forward a "hero" who will heroically slay the dragon and became the city's king, to act as a puppet ruler for the Elucidated Brethren.

The [[City Watch]] of [[Ankh-Morpork]] has fallen on hard times. This is due to [[Havelock Vetinari|Lord Vetinari]]'s policy of making law enforcement the responsibility of the [[Guilds of Ankh-Morpork|guilds]]. Even crime has become 'self-regulated' by the [[Thieves' Guild]], who carry out a regulated number of robberies and discipline those who do it illegally. The Night Watch contains just three members - [[Sam Vimes|Captain Sam Vimes]], a cynic with a drinking problem, the overweight and lazy [[Fred Colon|Sergeant Fred Colon]] and [[Nobby Nobbs|Corporal Nobby Nobbs]], a petty thief. A fourth member [[Herbert Gaskin]] has just been killed on duty. They do little at night other than wander the city ringing their bells and half-heartedly chasing criminals.

This changes when they are joined by [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]], a powerfully-built young man who was raised by dwarfs. In contrast to the existing policemen, Carrot is idealistic, honest and literal-minded; he has read ''[[The Laws and Ordinances of the Cities Ankh and Morpork]]'' and is determined to uphold them at all costs. On his first day at work, he tries to arrest [[Urdo van Pew]], the head of the Thieves' Guild. Though he seems out of place in Ankh-Morpork, Carrot's methods actually seem to work. The Night Watch begin investigating the dragon's appearances. Vimes meets his future love interest [[Sybil Ramkin]], a noblewoman and a breeder of [[swamp dragon]]s. She gives him information on dragons and a young [[swamp dragon]] called [[Errol]] as a pet. When the [[Treacle Mine Road Watch House|Watch House]] is burned down by the noble dragon, Sybil also donates the [[Pseudopolis Yard]] buildings to be new headquarters. Errol takes interest in the noble dragon and begins to eat odd things that cause his ears to produce smoke.

The Elucidated Brethren execute their plan; their hero comes forward and 'banishes' the dragon. The people of the city rejoice, overthrow Vetinari and prepare to have the hero crowned as the king. But the dragon returns, kills the hero and most of the Brethren, and declares itself to be the king of Ankh-Morpork. Using Vetinari's secretary [[Lupine Wonse]] as its interpreter, the dragon demands gold and a monthly virgin sacrifice, with Sybil being chosen to be the first victim. Vimes enters the palace and confronts Wonse, who is revealed to be the Supreme Grand Master. Wonse has Vimes imprisoned in the dungeons with Vetinari. He is rescued by the [[Librarian]] and runs to Sybil's aid. Carrot, Colon and Nobbs try to shoot the dragon with a single 'lucky arrow' but miss. Errol then fights the dragon; it is revealed that his eating habits have allowed him to produce a backwards-launched [[wikipedia:jet engine|jet engine]] flame. Errol flies into the sky at a supersonic speed, causing a [[Wikipedia:sonic boom|sonic boom]] that knocks the king dragon out of the sky.

The city people move in to kill the king dragon, but Sybil pleads for it to be spared. Carrot tries to arrest the dragon, but Errol helps it escape. Sybil explains that the king dragon is actually female and the 'fight' with Errol was a courtship ritual. Vimes and the Watch return to the palace and together with Vetinari, they confront Wonse. Wonse tries to summon another dragon, but Carrot accidentally kills him; he is told by Vimes to "throw the book at him", so Carrot throws a copy of ''The Laws and Ordinances'' with such force that it knocks Wonse through a hole. Vetinari is reinstated as the leader of the city and offers the Night Watch a reward. They only demand a modest pay rise, a new kettle and a dartboard.

==Cover==
The cover, once again painted by Josh Kirby, features Carrot (with sword), Vimes (with bottle), Nobby (with small dragon) and Colon (with bow and arrow). They are all attempting to fight the Dragon.

==Characters==
*[[Carrot Ironfoundersson]]
*[[Samuel Vimes]]
*[[Fred Colon]]
*[[Nobby]]
*[[Havelock Vetinari]]
*[[Lupine Wonse]]
*The [[Elucidated Brethren of the Ebon Night]]
*[[Sybil Ramkin]]

==Other Characters==
*[[Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler]]
*The [[Librarian]]
*[[Reet]]
*[[Detritus]]
*[[Brother Fingers]]
*[[Brother Dunnikin]]
*[[Brother Doorkeeper]]
*[[Brother Watchtower]]
*[[Brother Plasterer]]

==Cameos and other Mentions==
*[[Brenda Rodley]]
*[[Skully Multoon]] of the [[Palace Guard]]
*[[Varneshi]]
*[[Magrat Garlick]]
*[[Herbert Gaskin ]]
*[[Minty Rocksmacker]]
*[[Mort]] and [[Ysabell]] (mentioned by Sybil as "the duke and duchess of Sto Helit, a nice young couple"

==Locations==
* [[Ankh-Morpork]]
** [[Treacle Mine Road]]
*** [[Treacle Mine Road Watch House ]]
** [[Pseudopolis Yard]]
** [[Sunshine Sanctuary for Sick Dragons ]]
** [[The Mended Drum ]]
** [[Temple of Small Gods]]
** [[Jimkin Bearhugger's Whiskey|Jimkin Bearhugger's Whiskey Distillery]]
** [[Thieves' Guild]]
** [[Easy Street]]
*** [[Bunch of Grapes]]
** [[Scoone Avenue]]
*** [[Ramkin|The Ramkin House]]
** [[Patrician's Palace]]
** [[Unseen University ]]
*** [[Library|The Library]]
*** [[Tower of Art]]
** [[The Shades ]]
*** [[Rosemary Palm|Mrs Palm's House]]
** [[Harga's House of Ribs ]]
* [[Noble dragon|The Place Where the Dragons Lie]]
* [[Copperhead]]
* [[Enlightenment country]](where the monks make jars of dragon resistant cream and ship to a Mr CMOT Dibbler AM)
* [[L-space]]

==Sentient Species==
*[[Dwarfs]]
*[[Humans]]
*[[Trolls]]

==Supernatural Entities==
*[[Death]]
*[[The gods|The Gods]] (mentioned)

==Things and Concepts==
*[[The Summoning of Dragons]]
*[[The Laws and Ordinances of the Cities Ankh and Morpork]]
*[[Swamp dragon ]]
*[[Noble dragon ]]
*[[Figgins ]]
*[[The Dictionary of Eye-Watering Words ]]
*[[Critters ]]
*[[L-space ]]
*[[Swear-Words]]
*[[Cripple Mister Onion ]]
*[[A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On The End ]]
*[[Monkey ]]
*[[Thieves' Guild ]]

==Annotations==
* "the Public Order Act of 1457" - one of the frequent [[57]] references in TP's work

==Adaptations==
===[[Radio Adaptations|Radio Play]]===
Adapted into a radio play in 1992 by BBC Radio 4. Adapted by Michael Butt, directed by John Taylor.

Cast:
*Martin Jarvis: Narrator
*John Wood: [[Samuel Vimes]]
*Melvyn Hayes: [[Nobby Nobbs]]
*Stephen Thorne: [[Fred Colon]]
*Robert Gwilym: [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]]
*Helen Atkinson-Wood: [[Sybil Ramkin]]
*Crawford Logan: Landlord, [[Havelock Vetinari]]
*Brett Usher: [[Lupine Wonse|Supreme GrandMaster]]
*Jeff Nuttall: [[Brother Doorkeeper]], First Guard
*Michael Roberts: [[Brother Fingers]], Joint First Guard
*[[Death]]: [[Death]]

'''Guards! Guards!''' was adapted again in 2001 by the Atlanta Theatre Radio Company for an hour long live performance at Dragon*Con.

===[[Theatre Adaptations|Theatre]]===
Adapted into a stage-play by [[Stephen Briggs]] in 1997.

''[[Murder in Ankh-Morpork]]'' is an adaptation consisting mainly of the plot of {{MAA}} combining additional plot elements from {{G!G!}} and {{FOC}}. Dramatised by [[Stephen Briggs]] 2020.

===[[Book:Guards! Guards! A Discworld Graphic Novel|Graphic Novel]]===
Adapted into a comic [[Book:Guards! Guards! A Discworld Graphic Novel|''Guards! Guards! A Discworld Graphic Novel'']] by Stephen Briggs and Graham Higgins, 2000.

===[[Book:The Illustrated Guards! Guards!|Illustrated Edition]]===
A new edition of the novel featuring illustrations by [[Paul Kidby]].

==Gallery==
{|
|-
| valign="top" | [[File:GG First.jpg|110px|thumb|First Edition Cover by [[Josh Kirby]]]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GG Proof.jpg|thumb|110px|Book Proof]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GG Letterbox.jpg|thumb|130px|'Letterbox' Hardback]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GG DA.jpg|thumb|110px|Cover by Doug Anderson]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GG Black.jpg|thumb|110px|Paperback 2004]]
|}
{|
|-
| valign="top" | [[File:GG Tape.jpg|thumb|120px|Audio Cassette]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GG CD.jpg|thumb|140px|Audio CD]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GG Roc.jpg|thumb|110px|Paperback ROC Publishing]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GG US.jpg|thumb|110px|US Cover]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GG Zoom.jpg|thumb|110px|Paperback 2012]]
|}
{|
|-
| valign="top" | [[File:GG Unseen.jpg|thumb|110px|Unseen Library Edition]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GG CL.jpg|thumb|110px|[[Discworld Collector’s Library]] Edition]]
| valign="top" | [[File:GG RO.jpg|thumb|110px|Cover by Richard Ogle 2019]]
| valign="top" | [[File:Ill GG.jpg|thumb|120px|Illustrated Edition 2020]]
| valign=“top” | [[File:GG 2023.jpg|thumb|120px|Paperback 2023]]
|}

==External Links==
[http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/guards-guards.html ''Guards! Guards!'' Annotations - The Annotated Pratchett File]

{{series|before=Pyramids|series=Discworld|after=Eric}}
{{series|series=Watch|after=Men at Arms}}

[[Category:Discworld Series|Guards! Guards!]]
[[Category:Watch Series|Guards! Guards!]]
[[de:Buch:Wachen! Wachen!]]

Death

2026-06-04T00:29:55Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40781 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Character Data
|title=Death
|Death Illustrated by [[User:whtmnk|Christopher Stryjewski]] a.k.a. whtmnk
|photo= D1rip.jpg
|name=Death
|age= As old as the death of the first living thing
|race=[[Anthropomorphic personification]]
|occupation=Releasing the spirits of dead beings
|appearance=Tall, not what you'd call fleshy, {{death|Talks like this}}
|residence= [[Death's Domain]]
|death= Nearly, in {{RM}}
|parents=
|relatives= [[Susan Sto Helit]] (Granddaughter)
|children= [[Ysabell]] (Adopted Daughter) [[Mort]] (son-in-law)
|marital status= Never Married... for some reason...
|books= {{M}} {{S}} {{RM}} {{SM}} {{H}} {{TOT}} ''[[Discworld Noir]]''
|cameos= Every [[:category:Discworld Series|Discworld book]] except {{WFM}} and {{SN}}
}}
'''Death''' is the [[anthropomorphic personification]] of death on the [[Discworld (world)|Discworld]]. He appears as the traditional Grim Reaper, with a skeletal body, a black robe and a [[Death's Scythe|scythe]] (or sometimes a sword for royalty) and {{death|talks in unquoted small caps}}. Death appears for the first time in the first novel, ''[[Book:The Colour of Magic|The Colour of Magic]]'' (though it is suggested that his first appearance was actually that of his 'stand-in', [[Scrofula]]), and reappears in all of the stories that take place in the Discworld universe, with the exception of ''[[Book:The Wee Free Men|The Wee Free Men]]'', a [[Tiffany Aching]] young adult book, and {{SN}}.

Death is fascinated with humans in general, and as a result attempts to emulate their behaviour, if only to better understand them. However, as an immortal skeletal being who does not have to pay heed to fatigue or even time, he seems to lack comprehension of some human concepts, such as detective novels. He is also described by [[Susan]] as someone who would solve world hunger, not by changing socioeconomic forces, but by giving everyone a good meal. While his job and anatomy cause a lack of emotions which he displays in his {{death|hollow voice}}, Death can be quite passionate about life in general; in some cases, he actively defends it against the depredations of the [[Auditors]]. Death is fundamentally incapable of forgetting anything, with the possible exceptions of 1) how the horse moves in chess, and 2) how to get drunk.

Death had an apprentice named [[Mort]] and an adopted daughter named [[Ysabell]], who later got married and left him to become the Duke and Duchess of [[Sto Helit]]. Sometimes he visits [[Susan Sto Helit]], his granddaughter through them. When not out and about, Death lives alone in [[Death's Domain]] with his manservant [[Albert]] and, since the events of ''[[Book:Reaper Man|Reaper Man]]'', the [[Death of Rats]]. Also members of the [[Death's Domain|household]] are the famed pale horse, named [[Binky]], and at times [[Quoth]] the talking raven.

He is fond of kittens, Binky, Susan, Albert, curries and life (without which he would be useless). He ''strongly'' dislikes the [[Auditors]], whose machinations against life he considers to be cheating, and at times has seemed to resent [[Rincewind]]'s unpunctuality, though at other times he has seemed more amiable toward him. Death occasionally finds it tiresome when his work entails dealing with irregularities, such as finding an appropriate posthumous destiny for [[Mr. Tulip]] or the repeated resurrections of [[Scraps]]. Nevertheless, he sticks by his Duty and very rarely interferes in human affairs, because of The Rules. He ''has'', however, been known to persuade Susan to act in his stead, not always by straightforward means; she occasionally reflects that he may have learnt a bit more about human behaviour than he lets on.

While of course in a ''sense'' he is there for every death, he need only personally attend to relatively few in order to keep things running. Death is however a caring individual and likes to keep an eye on things he does not necessarily need to, sometimes to the extent to be present at the end of a tiny tube worm on the abyssal floor. He gets quite upset when people (mostly those freshly severed from their bodies) accuse him of killing them. He argues that he simply allows them to leave this world and enter the next, and empirical evidence (such as the results of his various voluntary and involuntary sabbaticals) seems to bear this out. His jurisdiction, so to speak, appears to be Discworld itself; he is not Death in the universal sense.

Every living individual has a book in the great [[Death's Domain|Library]] of Death, and an hourglass-shaped [[Life-timer|lifetimer]] in a cathedral-dwarfing room that exists solely for the purpose of housing them. The look of each one seems to be personalised, and they keep on writing themselves or pouring sand through until the associated person dies. The books remain; the lifetimers apparently pop out of existence and new ones appear in their place, as a new life begins.

Death also introduces individuals to [[The Desert]] from time to time. Each soul has to walk the desert - to what end, Death refuses to be drawn. There is no justice, there is only him.

While Death himself cannot be seen by most individuals, (with the exceptions of cats, children, witches, wizards and other anthropomorphic personifications,) unless he wants them to see him, he is unable to see beings that are truly deathless, as they are not subject to his "''power''". He has nothing to do with them and thus cannot see them. This reflects that most humans cannot see him, as they naturally do not think about dying.

He was there when the first proto-life faded, and has been given his general shape by the belief of humans - of all creatures the most afraid of dying and the most likely to have evolved an agrarian culture in which scythes feature. He is also still there at the end of all things, as evidenced by his appearance at the end of time and space when [[Astfgl]] arrives to destroy [[Rincewind]]. Death is just about to metaphorically turn the lights out in the universe when he sees a new one germinating. Eventually, he thinks, there will be life. And therefore death. He will be needed. He can wait.

Death is a servant of [[Azrael]], the 'Death of Universes'; an entity of enormously unthinkable scope and size, "the Ultimate Reality". Azrael is the Being from whom all lesser-Deaths are mere reflections or aspects.

===Appearances===
In {{RM}} Death is forced to retire by the Auditors, who fear he has become too human. He assumes the name Bill Door and finds work on [[Renata Flitworth|Miss Flitworth's]] farm as a farmhand. When the [[New Death]] is formed, it comes to claim Bill: he outwits it and destroys it, then resumes his role as Death.

In {{H}} we find that [[Jonathan Teatime|Mr. Teatime]] has devised a plan to kill Death, though no details are given, and he is skewered by Susan with a fireplace poker before he has a chance to execute it. His dialogue in the Tooth Fairy's castle suggests that he intended to strike Death with his own sword, which is reputed to be able to cut anything.

He has one of what Albert calls his 'fancies' during the events of {{SM}}, and tries to join the [[Klatchian Foreign Legion]] where he is called [[Beau Nidle]], fails in his quest for forgetfulness, and repairs to Ankh-Morpork to drink too much, all to forget what he is and has to do. He ends up as a member of the [[Canting Crew]], with the unusual moniker of 'Mr Scrub'. Beggars seem just as invisible as anthropomorphic personifications.

Death has a major role in ''[[Book:Mort|Mort]]'', ''[[Book:Reaper Man|Reaper Man]]'', ''[[Book:Soul Music|Soul Music]], [[Book:Hogfather|Hogfather]]'' and ''[[Book:Thief of Time|Thief of Time]]''. As a member of the [[Four Horsemen]] of the [[Apocralypse]], he plays an obligatory role in ''[[Book:Sourcery|Sourcery]]'' and ''[[Book:Thief of Time|Thief of Time]]''.

==See also==
* [[wikipedia:Death (Discworld)|Death's Entry]] on [[wikipedia:Wikipedia|Wikipedia]]
* [http://discworldreadingorder.azurewebsites.net/Death Deaths reading order] - A guide to Death's story arc.

[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[Category:Leading characters]]
[[Category:Serial characters]]
[[Category:Supernatural entities]]
[[de:Tod]]

Rincewind

2026-06-04T00:29:50Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40780 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Character Data
|title= The Wizzard
|Rincewind Illustrated by [[User:puggdogg|Michael Collins]] a.k.a. puggdogg
|photo= Rincewind.jpg|
|name= Rincewind, first name unknown. Has referred to himself as Rincewand (see {{TLC}}), but don't believe it.
|age= Possibly born in 1932 UC, making him 32 in {{COM}} and 57 as of {{TLH}}.
|race= [[:Category:Human characters|Human]]
|occupation= [[:Category:Wizards|Wizzard]], egregious professor of cruel and unusual geography
|appearance= Young, athletic, tall, thin and scrawny with a raggedy beard often disheveled
|residence= Currently Unseen University
|death=
|parents=
|relatives= possibly [[Bill Rincewind]]; [[Lavaeolus]] might be an ancestor. [[Dr Rjinswand]] on [[Roundworld]] is a parellel-world version who has discovered something as good and as dangerous as magic, in nuclear energy...
|children=
|marital status=
|books= [[:Category:Rincewind Series|Rincewind series]]
|cameos= {{M}}, {{UA}}
}}
'''Rincewind''' has been an important character since the ''[[Discworld]]'' series started. He is a polite yet cowardly [[Wizard's magic|wizard]] with (almost) no magical ability and whose ambition in life is simply to continue having a life. He has been on many adventures, but almost entirely by accident. He is however gifted with languages, speaking several including [[Chimeria|Chimeran]], [[Vanglemesht]], [[Sumtri]], [[Black Oroogu]], [[Borogravia|High Borogravian]] and [[Trob|beTrobi]].

==Character==
He starred in {{COM}}, {{TLF}}, {{S}}, {{E}}, {{IT}} and {{TLC}}, and was also a major character in the graphic novel, {{TLH}} as well as in {{SOD1}} novels. He was born under the "Small Boring Group of Faint Stars", a sign associated with chess board makers, sellers of onions, manufacturers of plastic images of small religious significance and people allergic to pewter. Rincewind became the owner of [[the Luggage]] after it was given to him as a present by [[Twoflower]] in {{TLF}}.

He has a particular attraction to potatoes, and has in his time been mistaken for a demon, a god, lunch, a hero, a woman, and many other things. At one point he even very briefly visited [[Roundworld]], appearing on an aeroplane mid flight as Dr. Rjinswand, a nuclear physicist, in {{COM}}, who specializes in the breakaway oxidation phenomena of certain nuclear reactors.

Maybe because he was the first major Discworld character, maybe because of his "hidden" bravery, or maybe because of his amazing incompetence, he has always been (and probably always will be) one of the most popular Discworld figures.

In ''The Art of Discworld'', Terry Pratchett mentions that Rincewind probably has at least one more story to tell, but also says that the character's cowardly nature limits what stories can be told.

==Magical abilities==
Rincewind's magical ability is almost nonexistent. He never passed an exam at [[Unseen University]]. The highest score he received was 2% for spelling his name right. In fact, we are informed that he actually managed to receive negative marks in Basic Firestarting, an issue still hotly debated by the Faculty - "''How the Hell did he manage that''!" - even in the early pages of {{IT}}. Even when we first met him however he still had the right to wear the brass octogram confirming he is a UU alumnus. One wonders how he got into Unseen in the first place.

It has been estimated that when Rincewind finally dies, the average magical ability for the species will go up a fraction. What he cannot spell right, apparently, is his job description, because he has ''WIZZARD'' written in large letters on his pointy hat. The reason for this incompetence lies within an incident where he opened the [[Octavo]] and one of the great eight spells of the [[creator]] jumped out and settled down in his brain. This spell frightened off any other spells which Rincewind tried to learn.

Nevertheless, he has managed to do some impressive magic on very few occasions (e.g. in {{TLF}}), most often without his consent, although once near ''The Light Fantastic's'' climax, he was able to mentally unlock a door through apparently no efforts or powers but his own (albeit at great strain). This interestingly echoes another magical misfit, [[Magrat Garlick]], who similarly forced a thick unyielding door to open to her by using the power of magic.

While woefully inept at performing magic of his own, Rincewind does possess all wizards' baseline ability to sense magical energies, including the colour octarine. In ''Sourcery'', the saturation of the Disc with thaumic force accumulated in Rincewind as in other wizards, temporarily endowing him with the power to utilize spells, albeit ''very'' clumsily and erratically.

== Age and Early Life ==
Not much is known about Rincewind's early life. In {{IT}}, it is mentioned that "''Rincewind had no personal experience of either parent''." He has stated on more than one occasion that his mother "''ran away before he was born'' (is there a possibility his mother just ran away from home to have Rincewind and Rincewind is just looking for an excuse to be far away?)." However, Rincewind clearly remembers a birthday card with a '''Now you are Five...''' badge attached to it - which is the worst possible present anyone could receive at the age of six. He also remembers having had a stuffed toy lamb plush as a child, (mentioned in {{TLC}}.)

In {{TLF}}, Rincewind remembers his grandad telling him about [[Cohen]], again implying he grew up without his parents. In the same book, [[Trymon]] obtains Rincewind's "''precise place and time of birth''," from university records, so that an astrologer can cast a horoscope, implying that there is some record of Rincewind's birth.

Rincewind, [[Trymon]] and the [[Librarian]] all attended the University at around the same time, and are presumably the same age. In {{IT}}, Rincewind remembers hanging around with Noodle Jackson when he, (Rincewind,) was a very young student, implying that Rincewind has spent much of his life at [[Unseen University]].

==Travels==
[[Image:Rincewind in Ankh Morpork.jpg|200px|left|thumb|Rincewind In Ankh Morpork]]
Rincewind must be one of the most travelled characters in the Discworld series. He has seen [[Hell]], the [[Dungeon Dimensions]], the end of the world and its creation (where he very probably started life with a discarded egg sandwich). He has been to [[XXXX]], [[Klatch (continent)|Klatch]], the Moon, the [[Agatean Empire]], the [[Rim]] and all sorts of other interesting places. However, he probably cannot describe any of these places, because he was always running so fast that his feet barely touched the ground.

He seems to be constantly running away from danger (as such, most of his scars are on his back). He is the first to call himself a coward, although he's frequently frustrated by circumstances which cause him to be accidentally heroic. He always gets himself into dangerous situations, because he always has to help the helpless and innocent, even if half the time he would rather run away before it starts to happen to him. Also he is very realistic and rather cynical, so he knows when a situation is wrong and when, for instance, a bunch of poor foolhardy kids are going to get themselves killed (in {{IT}}).

He has been "''almost''" dead so often that [[Death]] calls Rincewind his hobby and does not actually know when he is going to die. Rincewind's [[life-timer]] has evolved in shape, much to Death's professional interest: far from resembling a simple hour-glass, it now manifests as a multi-dimensional glass nightmare, describing as having apparently been created by a glass-blower who had hiccups in a time machine. This is most likely due to his extensive dimensional and temporal travels while in constant fear of death. It is impossible to track the sand inside with any degree of accuracy, as occasionally it appears to move backwards.

Mentioned during the events of {{TLC}}, [[Death]] has come up with a theory about Rincewind: He is aware that many cultures and civilisations have the concept of the Eternal Champion, the eternal, ever-renewed hero, the Champion with a thousand faces. As Death is {{death|unable to enlighten, even by default, on conditions in the next world}}, He generally refrains from commenting. Privately, though, Death is aware of the particular Discworld condition that every condition and state of mind must have its opposite - thus Drunk - [[Knurd]], Crime - [[Anticrime]], Matter - Antimatter, etc. He has wondered, as He regards Rincewind's unique [[life-timer]], whether this belongs to the Eternal Coward, the anti-hero with a thousand retreating backs. Many cultures, after all, have the legend of an Eternal Champion who one day will be reborn in time of greatest need, (He even knows there is one in undying sleep underneath [[Lancre]], and there certainly was one in [[Holy Wood]].) It is possible that the balance of nature calls for an Eternal Coward who, when faced with waking up one morning to face down great threat, will pull the covers over his head and ignore the alarm clock.

==Unseen University Career==
After a failed career as a student, Rincewind was the UU library assistant for a while. He got on well with the [[Librarian]], and might well be the person who knows most about the Librarian, apparently even his name.

Aside from running away, his single greatest talent is an innate gift for languages: He can scream for mercy in nineteen languages and just scream in another forty-four.

Rincewind is currently the [[Egregious Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography]] at [[Unseen University]], along with at least eighteen other positions that none of the other wizards wanted (see {{SOD3}}), such as Health and Safety Officer. His degree is ''B. Mgc. Unseen University (failed)'' (see {{COM}}, 2. ''The Sending of Eight'', second paragraph).
However, in the opening chapters of {{IT}}, [[Ridcully]] ascertains the truth in a clear and businesslike fashion. Rincewind has effectively been operating under false pretenses and claiming a status for himself - as a full, graduate wizard - to which he clearly has no right.

While nobody is sorrier to have to point this out than Ridcully, the sanctions available under University lore for the punishment of imposters are quite clear-cut and offer no room for mitigating circumstances (absent corroborating testimony from university faculty), and he, Ridcully, would be quite shockingly negligent in his duties as [[Archchancellor]], if he did not order Rincewind to be nailed upside-down to one of the principal supporting pillars of the Brass Bridge at low tide, to be released at the next low tide.

After a pause to let this sink in, Ridcully then suggested that these things can be rectified and a retroactive honorary degree may be conferred if, for instance, a non-wizard in such an unenviable position were to go out and perform a great service of benefit to Wizards and all mankind, after which he, Rincewind, would be free to call himself a Wizzard, (and spell it with as many "z"'s as he likes), but with no wages, teaching no classes, but the full right to attend meals, have an office, and receive coal deliveries (he currently receives 19; one for each role he fills--in the summer, his office is an inferno, since if he does not burn all his coal, he will receive no more--in line with Ridcully's order that to receive a replacement, one must use up all of the previous supply of anything).

Rincewind eventually conceded (in as many words) that Ridcully was being very fair-minded, under the circumstances, and consented to let himself be sent to the [[Counterweight continent|Counterweight Continent]] as the University's [[Great Wizard|expeditionary force]]. It may be inferred from Rincewind's subsequent promotion to the post of Egregious Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography that Ridcully has been faithful to his word and the honorary degree has been conferred, at last making Rincewind officially a wizard, albeit by a back-door route.

By the time of {{SOD3}}, Rincewind appears to have gained ''some'' amount of respect from the senior Faculty, as he sits at their meetings, perhaps as a result of his ingenious plan in {{SOD2}}; this seems to have raised his self-esteem somewhat, as he tries to insist on being called ''Professor'' Rincewind.

He is now also, quite reluctantly, a member of the "[[Unseen Academicals]]" [[football]] team.

As of {{RS}} Rincewind is referred to as a Professor and is involved in research into the pharmacological actions of the flora of the [[Netherglades]]. His research has revealed the juice of a certain yellow flower induces absolute certainty about everything in the patient for up to fifteen minutes, while the juice of a floating water hyacinth causes absolute uncertainty in the patient for up to half an hour.

==Philosophy==
Rincewind's philosophy on life is noted for its simplicity. He spends most of his time running away, and never particularly bothers with where he's running away to - what he's running from is always more important.

Rincewind is also firmly convinced that there are no causes worth dying for. As he sees it, you can pick up another five causes on any street corner, but you only have one life.

He views positive developments in his life with deep suspicion, reasoning that they are usually just a setup for some newer and more horrible fate to befall him. He is, almost invariably, correct.

As his list of misadventures has grown longer, Rincewind has grown increasingly cynical about how his own life works, and recently went so far as to volunteer for a suicidal mission to prevent the [[Silver Horde]] from blowing up the gods, because he figured he would end up on the mission anyway, either by force or by accident (as is probably true).

He feels he suffers from a sort of pre-emptive karma. The universe, as soon as something nice is about to happen to him, causes something awful to happen that not only balances out the good thing, but goes on happening right through the time during which the good thing is trying to happen, thus effectively blotting it out. It has been mentioned that there is possibly an anti-Rincewind to which only good things happen. Rincewind would very much like to meet him, preferably while holding a big stick. This may or may not be [[Bill Rincewind]]. One could in fact say that the only good luck he has is how safely he escapes his bad luck.

Rincewind also very much values [[potato]]es, apparently associating them, at a subconscious level, with women, sex, or both. He eventually underwent therapy for the problem.

==Misc==

Rincewind [[Stamps|appeared]] on [http://news.bbc.co.uk/local/wiltshire/hi/people_and_places/arts_and_culture/newsid_9327000/9327675.stm Royal Mail stamps in 2011] along with [[Nanny Ogg]]

[[Category:Discworld characters|Rincewind]]
[[Category:Leading characters|Rincewind]]
[[Category:Serial characters|Rincewind]]
[[Category:Human characters|Rincewind]]
[[Category:Wizards|Rincewind]]
[[de:Rincewind]]

Unseen University

2026-06-04T00:29:45Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40779 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Building Data
|photo=UU01.png|coat of arms|100px|
|name= Unseen University
|location= [[Ankh-Morpork]]
|owner=
|appearance=
|residents= [[Wizards]]
|use= University
|built= 1282 AM ([[1 UC]])
|founded by= [[Albert|Alberto Malich the Wise]]
|demolished=
|books= {{TCOM}} {{TLF}} {{ER}} {{M}} {{S}} {{E}} {{MP}} {{RM}} {{SM}} {{IT}} {{H}} {{TLC}} {{TT}} {{TOT}} {{GP}} {{UA}}
|notes= Motto: ''NVNC ID VIDES, NVNC NE VIDES'' (now you see it, now you don't)
}}

''"Unseen University, home of the greatest wizards on the Discworld. And one or two of the worst."''

The '''Unseen University''' (UU) is a school for [[Wizards|wizards]] located in [[Ankh-Morpork]]. It was founded in the year 1282 AM ([[1 UC]]) by [[Albert|Alberto Malich the Wise]].

==The Place==
The Unseen University has gates of [[octiron]], and single-minded [[Bledlows]] to perform the Ceremony of the Keys every night. The University has an octagonal lawn, roses, other plants, and compost heaps tended by Mr. [[Modo]], the university's dwarf gardener. The buildings are of ancient stone, and contain many dark, winding corridors and small rooms, far more than the size of the grounds should allow. The unusual architecture of the building suggests that the top storeys and roof were built before the ground floors. Inside the University is the [[Great Hall]], where the Wizard's four main meals of the day are eaten. Also noteworthy are the hundreds of paintings and busts of former [[Archchancellor|Archchancellors]] that line the vestibule just outside the Great Hall. Other notable features are the [[Uncommon Room]], the staffroom of the Faculty (see below); the gymnasium (which is for students to practise spells, not exercise, and - as such - is lined and protected ''very'' powerfully); the [[Emperor]] candle and the [[Tesseractical Floor|Tesseractical floor]].

The grounds are enclosed in brick walls, but there are some places where bricks can be removed to offer convenient footholds for young and reasonably athletic students to climb over. The more famous buildings are: The [[Tower of Art]], the [[Library]], and the [[High Energy Magic Building]].

[[Old Tom]] is the University's bell and it is made of octiron. Every hour this bell chimes heavy silences which render all sounds inaudible. Sometimes Old Tom also rings during incidents involving a massive amount of magic, making verbal communication very difficult during the emergency.

The [[Unreal Estate]] is an area outside of the University walls. The area used to be the University's dumpster, and the magic contamination has until recently made the ground unusable for any housing or farming. However, part of this area has since been developed into the [[Thaumatological Park]]. This serves two purposes: it earns money for the University by selling commercially useful by-products of research magic such as the [[Dis-organiser]], and it keeps young wizards trained by [[Ponder Stibbons]] usefully occupied after graduation, otherwise there's no telling what minds like those would find to do. As the area is still inherently dangerous, a ''really'' cynical senior wizard might reflect that it could even thin their numbers out a bit, which is no bad thing...

The University is unbelievably rich. This comes from the rents of [[Sator Square]], the [[Plaza of Broken Moons]], magical services throughout the city and the classrooms that are rented out for various uses. Much more recently there has been the money made from the Thaumatological Park. Additionally, the University doesn't spend much, on food especially. People donate food regularly to the place, on the basis that if there were a lot of daft old men living on enough magic to rip a hole in two realities near ''you'', you'd want them to be too full to move as well.

==The People==
For many centuries, the wizards in Unseen University vied for the top position, the Archchancellor. The wizards were also in eight orders, each wizard fighting for the higher positions in the order, and fighting off other orders. (For more on in-fighting of wizards, see also the article [[Wizard's magic]].) After the coming of Archchancellor Ridcully, the power structure stabilized because nobody is able to murder Ridcully. The fighting changed from magical and murderous to quarrels and minor insults between faculty members. Everybody is able to come down alive and have a big dinner in relative calm, (unless the Bursar is insane for the moment or there is major magical disturbance in the vicinity.) There are many, many faculty members who are wizards who specialize in particular studies, drawing no salary, living at the ends of obscure corridors, unknown and unseen by others except at meals or when the more important wizards require the specialized wizards for some reason. Few faculty members like to teach. They have virtual lectures in a classroom, ([[Room 3b]]) that does not exist, a happy arrangement mutually understood and respected by [[Faculty]] and [[students]] alike. The other lecture theatre specifically mentioned in the chronicles is [[Room 5b]], which has its own woes in that Space and Time have come adrift from each other, and a lecturer walking in might discover he's already there and has started taking a class twenty minutes previously. Genuine lectures do happen at the University and are generally well-attended: refer to {{ER}}, where [[Eskarina Smith]] clandestinely attends the lectures by hiding underneath the tiered benches, and watching from behind a line of pointy boots. Student wizards do have to pass an exam, with an 88% pass mark, to obtain a Bachelor's degree. After that, a wizard may leave and find work, or stay and do more researches for advanced degrees.

All alumni of the UU have the right to wear a bronze octogram which symbolises their attendance at the school.

The faculty members listed below are well-known simply because they appear more often to the public and are there when the Archchancellor calls for meetings. These faculty members are not known for their lectures or the importance of their subjects. A hot subject, if such it may be called, is any technomancy under Ponder Stibbons's supervision, but in fact, his students are not more single-minded than other research students, and his department does not draw particularly many more students than other departments. Still, Mr. Stibbons's labs in the High Energy Building are often helpful to the Archchancellor in these modern times.

===The Top Faculty===
[[image:UUFaculty.jpg|350px|thumb|Left to right: The Lecturer in Recent Runes, The Dean, The Librarian, The Archchancellor, The Senior Wrangler, The Bursar, Ponder Stibbons, The Chair of Indefinite Studies and Rincew.... oh he's, er, gone.]]
*The [[Archchancellor]] ([[Mustrum Ridcully]]),
*The [[Bursar]] (A. A. Dinwiddie)
*The [[Dean]] (Henry Porter)
Note: As of ''Unseen Academicals'' "The Dean" is now Archchancellor of [[Brazeneck College]]
*The [[Senior Wrangler]] (Horace)
*The [[Chair of Indefinite Studies]]
*The [[Lecturer in Recent Runes]]
*The [[Librarian]], (an orangutan, previously Human Horace Worblehat)
*The Head of Inadvisably Applied Magic ([[Ponder Stibbons]])
*The [[Egregious Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography]] ([[Rincewind]])
*The [[Department of Post-Mortem Communications|Head of the Department of Post-Mortem Communications]] (Dr [[John Hicks]])

*[[Hex]], the University's thinking-engine, although nominally a campus resource, functions as a ''de facto'' member of the top faculty

===Other Members of the Teaching Staff===
*Master of the Music (Professor Ritornello)
*The [[Chair for the Public Misunderstanding of Magic]]
*The [[Dean of Liberal Studies]]
*The [[Egregious Professor of Grammar and Usage]]
*The [[Lecturer in Applied Astrology]]
*The [[The Lecturer in Approximate Accuracy|Lecturer in Approximate Accuracy]]
*The [[Lecturer in Creative Uncertainty]]
*The [[Professor of Applied Anthropics]]
*The [[Professor of Astrology]]
*The Professor of Dust, Miscellaneous Particles and Filaments
*The [[Professor of Extreme Horticulture]]
*The [[Professor of Illiberal Studies]]
*The [[Professor of Logic]]
*The [[Posthumous Professor of Morbid Bibliomancy|''Posthumous'' Professor of Morbid Bibliomancy]]
*The [[Prehumous Professor of Morbid Bibliomancy|''Prehumous'' Professor of Morbid Bibliomancy]]
*The [[Professor of Natural Studies]]
*The Professor of Ornithology
*The [[Professor of Recondite Architecture and Origami Map Folding‎]]
*The [[Professor of Recondite Phenomena]]
*The [[Professor of Slood Dynamics]]
*The [[The Professor of Virtual Anthropology|Professor of Virtual Anthropology]]
*The [[Reader in Esoteric Studies]]
*The [[Reader in Woolly Thinking]]

===The Staff===
*[[Modo]], Gardener
*Mrs. [[Whitlow]], head of housekeeping
*The [[Bledlows]], the UU's policemen, nowadays basically the porters
**[[McAbre]], Head Bledlow
**[[Gelid]], Bledlow
**[[Alphonse Nobbs]] (no relation), Bledlow
**[[Frankly Ottomy]], Bledlow
*[[Glenda Sugarbean]], head of the [[Night Kitchen]]
**[[Juliet Stollop]], one of Ms Sugarbean's workers
**Mrs. May Hedges, Night Kitchen cheeseboards
**Mildred & Rachel, Night Kitchen vegetable women
* [[Ksandra]], hapless undermaid
*The [[Candle Knave]], Mr [[Natchbull Smeems|Smeems]]
*The [[Candle Dribbler|Candle Dribblers]] of [[The Vats|the Vats]]
*Mr. [[Downbody]], one of the servants in the [[Uncommon Room]]
*Mr [[Blunk]], the coal porter

===Former Faculty & Staff===
* [[Windle Poons]], wizard (deceased).
* [[Evans the Striped]], sports master (deceased).
*[[Brother Fingers]] once worked as an odd-job man at UU.
*[[Inspector Lewton]] briefly hired on as a dormitory bedmaker in [[Discworld Noir]], but only as a ruse to snoop around the campus.
* Dr. [[Fettle Dodgast]], age 132 when interviewed in {{TT}}, most likely belongs among the ''former'', not current, faculty by now.
* Dr [[Sensibility Bustle]], DM, Phil, B.EI L, Patricius Professor of Magic, linguistics expert and hiver researcher (deceased).
* Professor H.F. Pullunder (Doctor Erratamus) is mentioned by Ponder while reading the Book of Traditions. No one recognizes the name.
* Dr. Earwig retired to get married to a witch, now Mrs. [[Letice Earwig]].
* Dr. Housemartin left UU for medical reasons (a bad case of work-related frogs).
* Professor Maidenhair transferred to Genua, possibly in hopes that people there wouldn't laugh at his name.
* The Senior Tutor attends a faculty council meeting at the start of {{E}}, but no later Council meeting includes him. Possibly this is one of the top faculty, not yet promoted to his better-known rank.
* [[Prissal Teatar]] passed away for real at UU some 30 years before {{RM}}, having previously faked his death in jest on multiple occasions.

===Former Archchancellors===
*[[Albert|Alberto Malich]] – founder
*Archchancellor [[Bewdley]] – according to his commemorative statue, disliked Ankh-Morpork intensely. According to {{TLC}}, a magical hole opened in his left boot.
*Archchancellor "Trouter" Hopkins – his actual preserved body is in the great hall, in accordance with his will, in which he stated that he wanted his body to be pickled in alcohol posthumously.
*Archchancellor William Badger – a very unpopular man, whose likeness is on the University's drain covers.
*Archchancellor [[Galder Weatherwax]] – Archchancellor in {{TLF}}
*Archchancellor [[Cutangle]] – Archchancellor in {{ER}}
*Archchancellor-Elect [[Virrid Wayzygoose]] – an ''almost''-Archchancellor who died before his own inaugural dinner in {{S}}
*Archchancellor [[Ezrolith Churn]] – Archchancellor in {{E}}
*Archchancellor [[Buckleby]] – Apparently locked himself in his own wardrobe. Mentioned in {{H}}
*Archchancellor [[Spode]] – mentioned in {{H}} and instituted a rule about locking doors
*Archchancellor [[Sloman]] – mentioned in "A Collegiate Casting-Out of Devilish Devices"; discovered the Special Theory of Slood
*Archchancellor [[Bowell]] – left an unusual bequest and has a vestibule named after him (see below)
*Archchancellor Preserved Bigger – left a substantial bequest with the requirement that UU play football at least once every 20 years.
*Archchancellor Abasti – The ever-changing stained glass window overlooking the Great Hall is dedicated to him.

==The Orders of Wizardry==
*[[Ancient and Truly Original Brothers of the Silver Star]]
*[[Ancient and Truly Original Sages of the Unbroken Circle]]
*[[Brotherhood of the Hoodwink]]
*[[Brothers of the Order of Midnight]]
*[[Sages of the Unknown Shadow]]
*[[Venerable Council of Seers]]
*[[Mrs Widgery's Lodgers]]
*[[The Last Order]]

==Terms==
There are eight terms, each one is roughly one week long, to minimise the time that the professers must spend teaching. However, the students continue to live and study on their own for the remainder of the year. The terms are called:
*Octinity
*Rotation
*Backspindle
*Hogswatch
*Evelyn
*Micklemote
*Candlerent
*Soul Cakes

==Unseen University Degrees==
These are the UU courses in magic and related topics. UU also offers lesser degrees in medicine, law, geology and so on, but lecturers are required to have at least one magical degree from UU before they are allowed to teach.

The full list can be [[UU degrees|found here]].

==Customs and traditions==
===Beating the Bounds===
Also known as "plunkers", this ceremony takes place each year at dawn on the 22nd of Grune. The entire faculty walks along the original boundaries of the University, walking through or if necessary over any buildings in the way of the original march route. Any nearby citizens are hit with live ferrets, and any red-headed men (except for one [[Carrot|Captain Ironfoundersson]]) are given a "plunking". Upon return to the University, breakfast is served, in which duck must be present.

In our world the beating of the bounds of Oxford takes place every Ascension day (changes every year but it is either May or June).

===Boy Archchancellor===
Occurring at around [[Hogswatch]], a first year student is selected to be the Archchancellor for the day. He has the full powers of Archchancellorship, and there is many a tale of him performing all manner of jokes and pranks on the most senior wizards. Because his life expectancy following this will almost certainly be brief, the boy chosen is normally the University's most unpopular student.

This is similar to the idea of a boy bishop, which is present in our world.

===The [[Convivium]]===
The Degrees ceremony, in which the [[Archchancellor]], University Council, eighth level wizards, masters and doctors proceed from the University to the [[Opera House]]. They are led by the Commander of the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|Watch]], or if there isn't one, then by a man carrying a pot of mustard and a quill. Foreign dignitaries, city officials and nobles are also invited to this ceremony, and upon arrival at the Opera House, the [[Patrician]] will present the graduates with their degrees.

===Gaudy Night===
This appears to be a follow up of the Convivium, and the new graduates attend a feast in the Great Hall of the University, making an even greater effort than usual to be the best dressed. The winner is thrown into the river by the losers.

This is an celebration dinner at Oxford University, around which the novel ''Gaudy Night'' by Dorothy L. Sayers is based.

===Head of the River===
Because of the difficulty of rowing on the river, teams of eight wizards will carry the racing skiffs and run from the University boathouse to the Brass Bridge. The course is known as the "Bumps", and the winning team is awarded a "Brown" (a new pair of brown boots to replace the ones that will by now have been effectively disintegrated). They are now referred to as "Head of the River". One past winner of this race is the current Archchancellor, [[Mustrum Ridcully|Mustrum Ridcully the Brown]].

===May Morning===
Every May Day Dawn, the University choir sing from the top of the [[Tower of Art]] to the rest of the faculty, assembled below. Although the anthem cannot be heard, the Tower of Art being 800 feet high, the listeners still clap after five minutes, the length of time taken to sing the anthem.

===The Poor Scholars===
This harks back to the founding days of the University, when young, but poor men with magical talent were accepted into the universities. However, there was no accommodation space for them, so they lived in lean-tos against the walls of the [[Tower of Art]]. As a recognition of their determination, the faculty would throw food down to (or at) the poor scholars. Now, this ceremony takes place once a year, and the students gather in [[Sator Square]], where the faculty throw stale bread rolls at them as hard as they can.

===Rag week===
This is the entire backspindle term. On this week, the wizards are let loose on Ankh-Morpork. Activities include the Short Street Climb, in which the wizards climb sideways across the streets. Some fail to reach the end, and fall into the [[the Mended Drum]]. Another custom is tobogganing, in which the wizards go up to the Tower of Art on teatrays, and then toboggan back down. It must be noted that for this to happen, the involved students must have consumed a large amount of alcohol.

===Scrawn Money===
Also known as "Archchancellor Scrawn's bequest", this rather dated ceremony requires all those who live on University property to assemble in Sator Square, where they are given two pennies, a pair of socks, and a loaf of day-old bread each. They are then allowed to watch the wizards eat lunch.

==='Sity and Guilds===
Due to the rivalry induced violence between students of the various [[guilds]] and the university, it was decided to channel the rivalries into an annual sporting match, similar to football or rugby. The "playing field" was from [[The Shades]] to the Tower of Art. Goals are scored by kicking the ball through the door or window of a pub, and the scoring team had to get drinks bought by the other teams. Only one goal per pub was allowed due to the length of some games that had not benefited from this rule. It appears that the Unseen University has not participated in this for some time now.

===The Wizards' Excuse Me===
A large dance at the end of the Backspindle term, to which the city nobles are also invited. There are two bands and a giant buffet with three dozen kinds of meat.

=== Archchancellor [[Bowell]]'s Remembrance's bun and penny ===
An extant bequest pays for one small currant bun and one copper penny to be placed on a high stone shelf on one wall of this vestibule (circular hall) every second Wednesday. No one knows why this is done, or even why the vestibule is named [[Archchancellor Bowell's Remembrance]] ({{H}})

===The Hunting of the Megapode===
A veritable heyhoe-rumbledown as all fellows pursue the [[Megapode]] through the college buildings with much mirth and good spirits.

===Archchancellor Preserved Bigger's Bequest, or Poore Boys Funne===

The Bigger's Bequest is a very large fund. Monies from the interest on the fund cover approximately 87.4% of the college food bill. It does however carry conditions, in order for the UU to have access to these funds they must play [[Football]] at least once every twenty years.
Food is ''important'' to the modern wizard: the University appears to be regualted as tightly as any ship at sea by its [[Unseen University Mealtimes|mealtimes]], which happen at approximately two-hour intervals throughout the day and night, like the ship's bells that tell sailors what watch they're on. Therefore while there is much grumbling and reluctance, the vital necessity to play football is acknowledged in {{UA}}.

==Flora and Fauna==
The grounds are closed and heavily contaminated with magic, so a special ecosystem has evolved within Unseen University, with many wondrous creatures not found elsewhere, and many highly intelligent and civilized varieties of common house pests. These include:
*[[.303 Bookworm]] in the Library.
*Ants; some pull carts, some ride on beetles. One time, a clan of ants built a sugar pyramid for the mummy of a deceased queen (on the walls the true secret of longevity was inscribed, but it was lost when it was washed out).
*Bedbugs in Rincewind's mattress, smart enough to take the mattress with them when they feel they need to flee the University.
*Cockroaches; billions of them can march with their steps perfectly in time.
*[[Critters]] in the Library.
* Escaped demons in the cellar.
*Flying insects (including bees) who are not only capable of leaving a room by the window through which they entered, they can unerringly pick out a tiny hole in the glass no larger than a small coin, and enter and leave via this aperture.
*{{wp|Marmosets|Marmosets}} were planned to be used by a previous Archchancellor in order to communicate throughout the university (a piped system).
*[[Rats]] who seem to understand human speech. Some have moved to under the [[Patrician's Palace]] and sometimes serve the Patrician, Lord [[Havelock Vetinari]].
*Owls - [[Book:The Ankh-Morpork Post Office Handbook & Diary 2007|The Ankh-Morpork Post Office Handbook & Diary]] notes that there are a large population of owls living in the upper attics of UU. The wizards did once try and use the owls are an internal postal-service to deliver the letters and memos. However these were very intelligent birds, and saw the letters an an easily obtainable source of nesting material. The letters had to be retrieved from owls and stamped 'defected on by owls' (although most people can see this when they get it).
*[[Quoth|Ravens]] talk and are very inquisitive, but not very bright.
*[[Swear-Words]], cussed into being by Ridcully during a time of great magical potential.

:These creatures can be found in: {{ER}}, {{S}}, {{G!G!}}, {{RM}} and {{NW}}.

[[Gargoyles]] - There are a large colony of gargoyles covering much of the ancient buildings of the Unseen University. The first appear in {{ER}}. In wet weather they delight in spitting the water over passing students. In the event of a serious storm however, they have been known to leave the walls and hide under the attics, holding 'that just because your are ugly, doesn't mean you have to be stupid'. In {{S}} the entire gargoyle population abandoned UU, descending to ground level and fleeing across the immaculate grass lawns, sensing the approach of the [[Coin|Sourcerer]].

The University still dumps magical rubbish carelessly in the back alleys of [[Ankh-Morpork]]. The eating of magical rubbish led to the rise of the [[Rats|rat]] Clan, composed of rats not only intelligent but also fluent in human speech. These rats are important characters in ''[[Book:The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents|The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents]]''.

[[Gaspode]], the thinking-brain dog for the [[Canting Crew]], may also have got his thinking abilities and human speech from eating Unseen's rubbish (or, as he says in {{MAA}}, by sleeping next to the High Energy Magic Building), dumped by time-honoured custom in the [[Unreal Estate]]. (Details in {{MP}} and {{MAA}}). This was certainly the case for [[The Amazing Maurice]], an otherwise bright feral tomcat who, before eating Unseen's rubbish at one step removed, was scratching a bare living on the margins, but then got a Big Idea.

[[Schleppel]], a boogeyman, was invited to move into the University's cellars after the events of {{RM}}, and happily looked forward to preying on its various wildlife. It is uncertain how he may have fitted into its curious ecology.

==Annotation==
The name of the Unseen University probably comes from the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invisible_College Invisible College]

[[de:Unsichtbare Universität]]
[[Category:Locations]]
[[Category:Ankh-Morpork Businesses]]

Roundworld

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Mixon: Undo revision 40778 by Abcdefabric (talk)

==Roundworld References==

Throughout this wiki, there are countless references to Roundworld counterparts to [[Discworld]] characters, events, phrases, locations, norms, periods &c. The name "Roundworld" is one coined by the [[Wizards]] and is used in this wiki to show when Terry Pratchett has taken a real-life example from Earth (the world in question, which is indisputably round) and twist it into a Discworldian parody. Examples include the [[Diet of Bugs]] (read "{{wp|Diet_of_Worms|Diet of Worms}}"), the [[Piecemaker]] (read "{{wp|Colt_Single_Action_Army|Peacemaker}}"), [[Old Tom]] (read "{{wp|Great_Tom|Great Tom}}"), [[Leonard of Quirm]] (read "{{wp|Leonardo_da_Vinci|Leonardo da Vinci}}") and literally thousands of others. There are longer lists in the articles on the individual book as well as [[Annotations]] pages.

==Roundworld as a place==

'''Roundworld''' is a sphere-shaped world. Yes, it ''is'' silly, but people seem to be able to stand on it, so we shouldn't worry too much about it. It lies in a universe created by the [[Wizard's magic|wizards]] of [[Unseen University]], as a way to use up the excessive magical energy generated by the splitting of the [[thaum]]. (However it should be noted that travel to the Roundworld and references was possible before the wizard's creation so ''it may not have happened yet''.) [[Hex]] watches over the Roundworld, and can move small things in it and influence it slightly. Apart from that, it is (in theory) completely isolated from other universes, and there's no [[magic]] in it, not even essential elements like [[narrativium]]. There aren't even any gods. After several failed attempts, the wizards managed to create a nice planet (although it's not plane at all, which is quite depressing) where life started to develop.

For all intents and purposes, Roundworld is "our" planet Earth - it is home to a human civilisation which mirrors our own, though several other civilisations have risen and fallen in Roundworld's past, including the crabs and dinosaurs. Roundworld's human inhabitants have not led an untroubled existence; their history was severely threatened by an infestation of [[Elf|Elves]], who twisted the stories of Roundworld humans (notably William Shakespeare) to their own ends, and later by the [[Auditors of Reality]], who objected to the consequences of Charles Darwin's ''Origin of Species''. The Wizards acted in both cases to protect their preferred Roundworld history; they feel a certain level of responsibility for the entire universe they have created, and especially for the humans who dwell in it.

==Odd sidenotes==
* It is implied in {{SOD4}} that the crab civilisation may have been distantly remembered, possibly in genetic memory, by later civilisations on Roundworld. No doubt emboldened by his rescue of the Ephebian library's contents in {{SG}}, the Librarian nipped into Roundworld (probably via the medium of L-Space) and rescued the contents of the Library of Atlantis prior to its destruction, bringing them back for posterity at the University Library and later enlisting specialist help to decode the language. The only problem is, the wisdom of Atlantis was inscribed by skilled claws and mandibles in clay tablets by what is described as "a lobster-like civilisation". So. Atlantis existed. But not a human one....

[[Category:Locations]]
[[Category:Discworld concepts]]
[[de:Rundwelt]]

Lancre

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Mixon: Undo revision 40777 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Nation Data
|title= Lancre
|picture=Blank.jpg|
|established=
|motto=

|neighbours= [[Ohulan Cutash]], [[The Chalk]], [[Überwald]], [[Skund]] (usually)
|features= the [[Ramtops]], the [[Lancre River]], [[The Place Where The Sun Does Not Shine]]
|population= for tax reasons, 2, but perhaps 600
|size= Roughly 400 sq. miles (folded)
|government= [[Monarchy]], current ruler: King [[Verence II]] and Queen [[Magrat Garlick|Magrat]]
|capital= [[Lancre Town]]

|notablecitizens= [[Esmeralda Weatherwax|Granny Weatherwax]], [[Nanny Ogg]], [[Jason Ogg]]
|imports= presents for Mrs Ogg
|exports= [[Lancre Blue]], tough wool (via the [[Zoons]]), Witches and Wizards.

|anthem=

|books= The [[:Category:Witches Series|Witches Series]]
}}

A small kingdom in the [[Ramtops]], '''Lancre''' is homeland to many [[Witches magic|witches]] and [[Wizard's magic|wizards]]. Wizards tend to move over to [[Unseen University]] (including Archchancellor [[Mustrum Ridcully]] and former Archchancellor [[Galder Weatherwax]]), but famous Lancre witches including [[Granny Weatherwax]], [[Nanny Ogg]], [[Magrat Garlick]] (now retired, being Queen and all...) and [[Agnes Nitt]] stick around. The King and husband to Magrat is [[Verence II]].

Major appearances in most or all of the [[:Category:Witches Series|Witches Series]], and sometimes mentioned in other books as the place-nobody-has-heard-of from which people come to big cities and achieve great things. Politically, Lancre is the largest kingdom on the Ramtops (consisting of a village AND a castle), the representative country that people of other regions think of when they think of the Ramtops. It actually contains a fair amount of land, the problem being that this land is packed so close together that it is almost vertical (the only piece of flat land the people of Lancre have is in a museum). King Verence II is very forward-looking, and tries to build a democracy with diplomatic relations.

Lancre encompasses the following settlements:
* [[Lancre Town]] - Capital, home of [[Nanny Ogg]]
* [[Lancre Castle]] - Residence of its ruler
* [[Bad Ass]] - village of [[Esmeralda Weatherwax|Granny Weatherwax]]
* [[Brass Neck]] - village under the [[Leaping Mountain]]
* [[Hot Dang]] - a lumberjacking settlement that represents the furthest reach of the [[Altiplano Express Line|Railways]] from [[Ankh-Morpork]] (at the time of writing of {{CDA}}.
* [[Mad Stoat]] - village of [[Magrat Garlick]] and later [[Agnes Nitt]]
* [[Slice]] - backward village where marrying your cousin is seen as posh
* [[Razorback]]
* [[Creel Springs]] - village close to [[Bear Mountain]]

==Annotations==
The name may come from [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pierre_de_Lancre Pierre de Lancre], a 16th/17th century witch hunter.

Due to the hard-nosed, stoic and general down-to-earth nature of both the country and its people, not to mention the {{wp|Pendle_witch_trials|regrettable business}} at Pendle in the mid-1600's, it is also reasonable to assume that there is a large dollop of {{wp|Lancashire|Lancashire}} in there too...

[[category:Discworld geography]]
[[de:Lancre (Königreich)|Lancre]]

Book:Hogfather

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Mixon: Undo revision 40776 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Book Data
|title=Hogfather
|cover=[[File:Cover Hogfather.jpg|thumb|240px|Cover art by Josh Kirby]]
|coauthors=
|illustrator=
|date=7 November 1996
|publisher=Doubleday
|isbn=9780575064034
|pages=416
|rrp=
|series=Death Series
|characters=[[Death]], [[Susan Sto Helit]], [[Teatime|Mr. Teatime]]
|annotations=yes
|notes=Adapted as a TV film in 2006
}}
==Blurb==
It's the night before [[Hogswatch]]. And it's too quiet.

There's snow, there're robins, there're trees covered with decorations, but there's a notable lack of the big fat man who delivers the toys ...

[[Susan Sto Helit|Susan]] the governess has got to find him before morning, otherwise the sun won't rise. And unfortunately, her only helpers are a [[Quoth|raven]] with an eyeball fixation, the [[Death of Rats]] and an [[Bilious|oh god of hangovers]].

Worse still, someone is coming down the chimney. This time he's carrying a sack instead of a scythe, but there's something regrettably familiar ...

{{death|Ho. Ho. Ho.}}

It's true what they say.

'You'd better watch out ...'

==Plot==
The story begins in the evening before Hogswatch, the Discworld counterpart of Christmas. [[Susan Sto Helit]] has found work as a governess in the Gaiter household, where her ability to see [[bogeymen]] and defeat them with a fire poker comes in extremely useful. Meanwhile, the [[Auditors of Reality]] pay the Assassins Guild a huge fee to assassinate the [[Hogfather]] (the equivalent to Father Christmas). [[Lord Downey]] sends for [[Jonathan Teatime]], a young, dangerously talented assassin. Teatime employs five criminals, a wizard and a locksmith in his mission.

[[Death]] appears to Susan to tell her that the Hogfather is 'unavailable', and he will have to deliver the presents in his place. In Death's library, she discovers the god's hourglass has shattered and travels with [[Binky]], the [[Death of Rats]] and a [[Quoth|raven]] to the [[Castle of Bones]] (the Hogfather's residence) which collapses because children have stopped believing in the Hogfather. Here, she discovers the newly created [[Bilious]], the "Oh God" of Hangovers, and brings him back to the [[Unseen University]] to be cured of his illness. At the University, it is revealed by [[Hex]] that the wizards are (accidentally) creating Small Gods to compensate for the lack of belief in the Hogfather.

Susan follows a trail through [[Ankh-Morpork]] and discovers that Violet Bottler, a human [[Tooth Fairy]], went missing while taking a tooth to a criminal [[Banjo Lilywhite]] (one of Teatime's assistants). In Death's library, her biography shows she is being held captive in the land of the Tooth Fairy. Susan, the Oh God and Binky travel to the land, a world created by children's imagination. In the tower, they rescue Bottler and discover that their enemies have been using the children's teeth to control the children into not believing in the Hogfather.

Meanwhile, Teatime's group have been trying to unlock a door at the top of the tower. As Susan climb to the top of the tower, Teatime's accomplices are devoured by their childhood fears, apart from Banjo, who turns on the Assassin and refuses to attack Susan. Teatime grabs Death's sword off her but it fails to work, since children do not understand death. Susan succeeds in pushing Teatime off the tower where he falls into the pile of teeth. Through the door, she finds the original bogeyman, who became a children's myth as adults stopped believing in him. The bogeyman collected teeth to stop people from controlling the children. Susan leaves Banjo to clean up, and Bilious announces that he will be getting a new job.

Death takes her to the site of the Castle of Bones where the Hogfather, in the form of a pig, is being chased by Auditors in the form of dogs. Susan joins with the pig and guides him to safety over a cliff, while Death confronts the Auditors and condemns them for breaking the Rules. The Auditors are unable to lose their solid form and disappear off the edge of the cliff. The Hogfather transforms back into human form and flies off into the night. Death explains to her that childhood fantasies are important and help us to be human, since later we must understand "bigger lies" such as justice, mercy and duty.

As they return to the Gaiter's house, Teatime follows them in and contemplates trying to kill Death. Susan throws the nursery poker and thanks to the power of the children's belief, it passes straight through Death and impales the Assassin.

==Sub-Plots==
*Death's tenure as the Hogfather, aided by [[Albert]]. Death barges into the grotto [[Crumley's]] department store and causes a flood of people into the shop by giving out his own presents. There is much discussion between Death and Albert on the meaning of Hogswatch, and an alternative version of the story of King Wenceslas.
*Much of the humour in the book comes from the scenes in the University. Each time the Wizards mention a non-existent lare or penate, they are suddenly created, to fill the void caused by the Hogfather's absence (e.g. "Veruca Gnome", "Eater of Socks" and worst of all, the "Cheerful Fairy"). In addition, Ridcully also discovers [[Galder Weatherwax|Archchancellor Weatherwax]]'s bathroom, designed by the dreaded [[Bergholt Stuttley Johnson]]. He re-seals it after two near accidents, one involving a tap marked {{wp|Old Faithful|Old Faithful}}, and a worse problem involving the University Organ, which is not described in the narrative.

==Characters==
===Major Characters===
* [[Jonathan Teatime]], an assassin
* [[Susan Sto-Helit]], Death's granddaughter
* [[Death]]
* [[Auditors of Reality]]
* [[Hogfather]], a god
* [[Albert]]
* [[Bilious]], the Oh [[God of Hangovers]]
* The Wizards of the [[Unseen University]]:
** [[Mustrum Ridcully]], Archchancellor of Unseen UniversityUniversity
** [[Lecturer in Recent Runes]]
** [[Chair of Indefinite Studies]]
** The [[Bursar]]
** [[Hex]]
** [[Ponder Stibbons]]
** [[Adrian Turnipseed]] aka [[Mad Drongo]]
** [[Dean]]
** [[Senior Wrangler]]
** the [[Librarian]]

===Minor Characters===
* Lord [[Downey]], head of the [[Assassins' Guild]]
* Mr [[Winvoe]], Assassins' Guild Treasurer.
* [[Modo]], Unseen University's gardener and odd-job dwarf
* [[Lares and Penates]] (small gods) created during the book (most, not all, cease to exist once belief in the Hogfather is restored):
** [[Verruca Gnome]]
** [[Lares and Penates|Hair Loss Fairy]]
** [[Eater of Socks]]
** [[Lares and Penates|Electric Drill Chuck Key Fairy]]
** [[Stealer of Pencils]]
** [[God of Indigestion]]
** [[Lares and Penates|Towel Wasps]]
** [[Cheerful Fairy]] (aka Gwendoline Smith) and the [[Blue Bird of Happiness]] (a blue bird [a hen, in fact], not a bluebird)
** [[Glingleglingleglingle Fairy]]
* The [[Tooth Fairy]], the original [[bogeyman]]
* [[Death of Rats]], with his mount [[Quoth]] (Quoth isn't mentioned by name in this book)
* The Gaiter family:
** [[Twyla Gaiter]], precocious 5-year-old girl who acts ingratiatingly cute to charm people
** [[Gawain Gaiter]], Twyla's brother
** [[Mrs Gaiter]], their mother, a social climber
** [[Mrs Gaiter|Mr Gaiter]], their father, in the wholesale shoes and boots business
* Villains who assist Teatime:
** [[Chickenwire]]
** [[Medium Dave Lilywhite]]
** [[Banjo Lilywhite]]
** [[Catseye]]
** [[Peachy]]
** Mr [[Sideney]], a wizard, who owes money to [[Chrysoprase]]
** Mr [[Brown]], a locksmith
* [[Ernie]], a carter, killed by Teatime
* Boars of the Hogfather:
** [[Gouger]]
** [[Gouger|Rooter]]
** [[Gouger|Tusker]]
** [[Gouger|Snouter]]
* [[Binky]], Death's horse
* [[Nobby Nobbs]], watchman
* Constable [[Visit-the-Infidel-with-Explanatory-Pamphlets|"Washpot" Visit]], watchman
* [[Violet Bottler]], who lives on [[Shamlegger Street]]
* Mrs. [[Anaglypta Huggs]], revisionist folklorist, who is embarassed by the
* [[Canting Crew]]:
** [[Foul Ole Ron]]
** [[Coffin Henry]]
** [[The Duck Man]]
** [[Arnold Sideways]]
** [[Gaspode]] (not mentioned by name, just called "Foul Ole Ron's thinking brain dog")

===Cameos===
* [[Bibulous]], the God of Wine
* Carter, [[Assassins' Guild]] servant
* [[Charlie (Hogfather)|Charlie]], runs Bulk Collection and Despatch for the Tooth Fairy
* [[Vernon Crumley]], owner of Crumley's in the Maul
* [[Didactylos]], philosopher
* [[Aaron Fidget]], a Hogfather disbeliever
* [[Jack Frost]], a supernatural entity
* [[Sir George]], one of Teatime's victims (as was Sir George's dog)
* Miss Harding, cashier at [[Crumley's]]
* [[Anaglypta Huggs]], Hogswatch caroler who carefully removes offensive elements from songs like [[The Red Rosy Hen]]
* [[Igor]], barman at Biers
* [["Bloody Stupid" Johnson]]
* [[Ma Lilywhite]], Banjo and Dave's deceased mother
* [[Osric Penicillium]], inventor (or possibly discoverer) of the pencil
* [[Professor of Applied Anthropics]]
* [[Glossy Ron]], person killed by [[Ma Lilywhite]]
* [[Sarah, the Little Match Girl]]
* [[Scissor Man]]
* [[Shlimazel]], a bogeyman
* [[Ventre]], philosopher
* Archchancellor [[Galder Weatherwax]]
* Mrs. [[Whitlow]]
* [[Gammer Wimblestone]], ran dame school Sideney attended
* Mr. [[Winvoe]], Assassin's Guild Treasurer
* Children visited by Violet Bottler in her role as tooth fairy:
** The Honorable [[Jeffrey Bibbleton]] aka "Trouble in Trousers" and "Foureyes", who lives at [[Scrote Manor]], [[Park Lane]]
** [[Nuhakme Icta]] aka "Little Jewel"
** [[Sophie Langtree]] aka "Daddy's Princess", who lives at 5 [[The Hippo]]
** [[William Rubin]], who, due to a misunderstanding, had ''all'' his teeth taken by Violet (using pliers)
** [[William Wittles]] aka "Willy" and "Tosser", who lives at 68 [[Kicklebury Street]]
* [[Thomas Ague]], visited by a tooth fairy (not necessarily Violet), lives at 9 [[Castle View]] in [[Sto Lat]]

===Mentions===
* [[Anon]], collective reference for people who never received a name
* [[John Barleycorn]], a supernatural entity
* Archchancellor [[Buckleby]], died in a wardrobe
* Miss [[Eulalie Butts|Butts]], Susan's former teacher (mentioned by full name in {{SM}})
* [[Captain Carrot]] (mentioned as "Captain Carrot One-Man Night Watch" doll set; since it's unlikely Carrot would merchandise himself, one wonders if [[Dibbler]] is responsible here?)
* [[Blind Io]]
* [[K. W. Dobson]], assassin
* [[DeBris Gang]]
* [[Fate]]
* Mrs. [[Gammage]], regular at Biers
* [[Mericet]]
* Prophet [[Ossory]]
* [[Packley]], a man with a strongroom
* [[Windle Poons]]
* The [[Sandman]]
* Lord [[Selachii]]
* [[Soul Cake Duck]]
* Archchancellor [[Spode]]
* [[General Tacticus]]
* [[Old Man Trouble]]
* Ankh-Morpork villains named Dave or similar:
** [[Big Dave]]
** [[Fat Dave]]
** [[Mad Dave]]
** [[Wee Davey]]
** [[Lanky Dai]]

==Locations==
* [[Ankh-Morpork]]
** [[Biers]]
** The [[Maul]], a mall
*** [[Crumley's]], a store in the Maul
** [[Esoteric Street]] The location of both [[Fidgett's]] Gentlemans' Club and the [[Frout]] Academy For Enquiring Young Minds
** [[Gleam Street]] (mentioned)
** [[Goose Gate]] (mentioned)
** [[Nap Hill]] (mentioned)
** [[Phedre Road]] (mentioned)
** [[River Ankh]] (mentioned)
** [[Sator Square]]
** [[Short Street]] (mentioned)
** [[The Shades]] (mentioned)
** [[Treacle Mine Road]] (mentioned)
** [[Unreal Estate]]
** [[Unseen University]]
*** [[High Energy Magic Building]]
*** [[Great Hall]]
*** [[Archchancellor Bowell's Remembrance]], a room presumably named after [[Bowell]], an Archchancellor
*** [[Uncommon Room]]
*** [[Tower of Art]] (mentioned)
** [[YMPA]]
* [[Agatean Empire]] (mentioned)
* [[Castle of Bones]], the Hogfather's home
* [[Child's Painting Land]], a land which looks like a child's painting
* [[Death's Domain]]
** [[Death's library]]
** Room of [[Life-timer]]s
* [[Dunmanifestin]], mountain home of the Gods
* [[Genua]] (mentioned)
* [[Howondaland]] (mentioned as place where people eat insects)
* [[Klatch]] (mentioned)
* [[Krull]] (mentioned)
* [[Llamedos]] (mentioned)
* [[Omnia]] (mentioned)
* [[Quirm]] (mentioned)
* [[Ramtops]] (mentioned)
* [[Scrote]] (mentioned)
* [[Sumtri]], land where the pencil bush was first discovered

==Things and Concepts==
* [[Aurora Corealis]], atmospheric phenomenon resembling ''Aurora Borealis'', but magical rather than electromagnetic
* [[Beggars' Guild]] (mentioned)
* [[Bells of St Ungulant's]], song (mentioned)
* [[Book of St Ossory]]
* [[Bows and Ammo]], magazine parodying ''Guns_and_Ammo''
* [[Bubble's Catastrophe Suite]], organ piece played by the Librarian
* [[Burleigh and Stronginthearm]], crossbow manufacturers
* [[Campaign for Equal Heights]], an activism group for dwarfs, pixies, and other vertically-challenged members of society
* [[Chase My Neighbour Up The Passage]], a game
* [[Dolls of All Nations]] singing [[Wouldn't It Be Nice If Everyone Was Nice]], parody of the {{wp|It%27s_a_small_world|It's a Small World}} attraction and song, most commonly associated with Disneyland.
* [[Dratley and Sons]], wardrobe manufacturers
* [[Dried frog pills]]
* [[Englebert's Enhancer]], a substance that enhances properties of other substances
* Fast of St [[Ossory]], celebrated in [[Omnia]] about the same time as Hogswatch
* [[Fighting Tiger Limpet]], fairly aggressive mollusk favored (as food) by wizards
* [[First Empire]], time period
* [[Grandmother's Footsteps]], a game
* [[Happy Tales]], a reading primer
* [[Hogswatchnight]], holiday setting for book
* [[Hunt the Slipper]], a game
* [[I Spy]], also a Roundworld {{wp|I_spy|game}}
* [[Bergholt Stuttley Johnson#Devices|Improved Manicure Device]], Bloody Stupid invention used to peel potatoes
* [[Krullian pipefish]], an animal that's probably not related to bananas
* [[Offler's League of Temperance]], a group that refrains from alcohol
* [[Sardines]], identical to the Roundworld {{wp|Hide_and_seek#Sardines|game}} of the same name
* [[scumble]], alcoholic drink made from "mainly apples"
* [[Spold's Unstirring Divisor]], a spell that separates things
* [[SpoIt's Forthright Respirator]], spell that can help people breathe
* [[Thieves' Guild]] (mentioned)
* [['Three Wizards' Chardonnay]], a brand of wine
* [[Twurp's Peerage]]
* [[Viper House]], a house (dormitory?) in the Assassin's Guild
* [[Winkles Old Peculiar]], a brand of beer
* [[Woddeley's Basic Gods]], a book
* [[Woddeley's Occult Sequence]], a locking spell
* [[Wow-Wow Sauce]], a dangerous condiment, outlawed in three cities
* [[Discworld calendar|Year of the Sideways Leech]] (mentioned)
* [[Discworld calendar|Year of the Talking Frog]] (mentioned)

==[[TV and Film:Hogfather|Television]]==
{{TV Data
|title= Terry Pratchett's Hogfather
|cover= [[File:HFDVD.jpg|thumb|200px]]
|asin= B000V7ZMK0
|imdb= 0765458
|date= 17-18 December 2006
|channel=Sky One
|director= Vadim Jean
|producer= Rod Brown & Ian Sharples
|cast=Michelle Dockery, Marc Warren, Ian Richardson, Joss Ackland, David Jason
|duration= 189 minutes
|episodes= 2
|series= Death Series
|annotations=
|notes=
|prev=[[TV and Film:Soul Music|Soul Music]]
|next=[[TV and Film:The Colour of Magic|Terry Pratchett's The Colour Of Magic]]
}}
The novel was made into a TV film in 2006. Titled [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0765458/ '''''Terry Pratchett's Hogfather'''''], it was first broadcast as a two-parter on Sky One, on 17 December and 18 December. [[Terry Pratchett]] made a cameo as a toymaker.

===Cast===
*[[Susan Sto Helit]] - Michelle Dockery (''Fingersmith, Downton Abbey'')
*[[Jonathan Teatime]] - Marc Warren (''Hustle, State of Play, Band of Brothers'')
*[[Death]] (voice) - Ian Richardson (''House of Cards, The Final Cut'')
*[[Albert]] - David Jason (''Only Fools And Horses, A Touch Of Frost, The Darling Buds of May'')
*[[Mustrum Ridcully]] - Joss Ackland (''White Mischief, Lethal Weapon 3, Cliffhanger, Midsommer Murders'')
*[[Lord Downey]] - David Warner (''Planet of The Apes, The Omen'')
*[[Sideney|Mr. Sideney]] - Nigel Planer (''The Young Ones'')
*[[Quoth|The Raven]] (voice) - Neil Pearson (''Bridget Jones' Diary, Drop The Dead Donkey'')

*[[Medium Dave Lilywhite]] - Peter Guinness (''Sleepy Hollow, Coronation Street'')
*[[Banjo Lilywhite]] - Stephen Marcus (''Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels'')
*[[Violet Bottler]] the [[Tooth Fairy]] - Sinead Matthews (''Pride And Prejudice'')
*[[Bilious]] - Rhodri Meilir (''My Family'')
*[[Ernie]] The Cart Driver - Arthur White (''A Touch of Frost, The Darling Buds of May'')
*[[Vernon Crumley]] - [[Tony Robinson]] (''Blackadder, Time Team'')

==Gallery==
{|
|-
| valign="top" | [[File:H Letterbox.jpg|thumb|120px|First Edition Cover by [[Josh Kirby]]]]
| valign="top" | [[File:H Black.jpg|thumb|110px|Paperback 2004]]
| valign="top" | [[File:H Tape.jpg|thumb|120px|Audio Cassette]]
| valign="top" | [[File:H CD.jpg|thumb|140px|Audio CD]]
| valign="top" | [[File:H MS.jpg|thumb|110px|Cover by Michael Sabanosh]]
| valign="top" | [[File:H MS2.jpg|thumb|100px|Cover by Michael Sabanosh-paperback]]
|}
{|
|-
| valign="top" | [[File:H Movie.jpg|thumb|110px|TV Series Cover]]
| valign="top" | [[File:H US.jpg|thumb|110px|US Cover]]
| valign="top" | [[File:H Zoom.jpg|thumb|110px|Paperback 2012]]
| valign="top" | [[File:H CL.jpg|thumb|110px|[[Discworld Collector’s Library]] Edition]]
| valign="top" | [[File:H 25.jpg|thumb|110px|25th Anniversary Edition]]
| valign="top" | [[File:H 2022.jpg|thumb|100px|Paperback 2022]]
|}

==External Links==
[http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/hogfather.html ''Hogfather'' Annotations - The Annotated Pratchett File]

{{series|before=Feet of Clay|series=Discworld|after=Jingo}}
{{series|series=Death|before=Soul Music|after=Thief of Time}}

[[Category:Discworld Series|Hogfather]]
[[Category:Death Series|Hogfather]]
[[de:Buch:Schweinsgalopp]]

Granny Weatherwax

2026-06-04T00:29:17Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40775 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Character Data
|title= Granny Weatherwax
|photo=grannymine2.jpg|Granny Weatherwax by [[user:darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name= Esmerelda Weatherwax
|age= Dare you ask?
|race= Human
|occupation= Greatest [[witches magic|Witch]] on the [[Discworld (world)|Discworld]] (Just ask her)
|appearance= Tall, thin with a wart-free complexion and good teeth, (despite her best efforts,) and perpetual scowl
|residence= Granny's Cottage, [[Bad Ass]]
|death= begins {{TSC}}
|parents= [[Violet Weatherwax]] (mother)
|relatives= [[Lily Weatherwax]] (sister) [[Alison Weatherwax]] (grandmother) [[Galder Weatherwax]] (distant cousin)
|children=
|marital status= single (very)
|books= {{ER}}, {{WS}}, {{WA}}, {{LL}}, {{M!!!}}, {{CJ}}, {{NOC}}, {{W}}, {{ISWM}}, {{TSC}}
|cameos= {{M}}, {{WFM}}, {{HFOS}}, {{SOD2}}, possibly {{GP}} }}

'''Granny Weatherwax''', full name '''Esmerelda "Esme" Weatherwax''', is a [[witch]], who lives in a small cottage outside the village of [[Bad Ass]], in the kingdom of [[Lancre]], on the Sto Plains face of the [[Ramtops]].

==Names==
She is often nicknamed just "Granny", though she is never mentioned as having any children or grandchildren. She has names in multiple languages, which reflect her reputation. These include the [[Troll]] name ''Aaoograha hoa'' ("''She Who Must Be Avoided''"), [[Dwarf]] name ''K'ez'rek d'b'duz'' ("''Go Around the Other Side of the Mountain''") and [[Pictsies|Nac Mac Feegle]] name ''The Hag O' Hags'' ("''The High Hag'',").

== Biography ==
According to ''[[Witches Abroad]]'', Esme Weatherwax was born the younger of two daughters. While it’s never mentioned whether her mother was a witch, Granny mentions that her father was a hunter, who once taught Granny that "''a bad hunter chases, a good hunter waits''” ({{LL}}). While Granny was practically still just a [[wiktionary:bairn|bairn]], her older sister Lily was getting into increasingly frequent rows with her parents over her behaviour. As Granny reveals to Nanny Ogg in {{WA}}, Lily used magic to be “wanton” - and not just ordinary magic. Granny described Lily as “''always looking in mirrors... Prideful as a cat, she was. Prefer to look in a mirror than out of a window, she would” ... “young men's fathers used to come round to complain''”. This culminated in Lily being kicked out of the house when she was 13 years old.

After Granny had grown up, she was adamant about becoming a witch; as she reveals in {{LL}}, magic didn't choose her, she chose it: “''I never stood in front of no-one... I camped on old Nanny Gripes’ garden until she promised to tell me everything she knew. Hah. That took her a week ''and'' I had the afternoons free. ... No ''I'' chose...''” Whilst still a young woman, Granny was involved in a summer-long romance with then-aspiring Wizard, Mustrum Ridcully, but ultimately they were both committed to their respective paths of witchcraft and wizardry. Granny would became a witch, her “specialims” being [[Edge Witch|edges]], [[borrowing]] and [[headology]]. Her steading encompasses the village of [[Bad Ass]], but also the Kingdom of [[Lancre]] as a whole. Granny Weatherwax, as she would come to be known, nursed her ailing mother until the time of her death; her father’s fate is unknown.

Granny is estimated to be in her seventies during the events of {{WS}}, {{WA}}, {{LL}}, {{M!!!}} and {{CJ}}, and roughtly the same age as Nanny Ogg, the two having grown up together. Yet, by the standards of [[Eumenides Treason|Mistress Eumenides Treason]], she is still considered a girl ({{W}}).

Granny Weatherwax passes away early in the events of {{TSC}}, now in her 80s. After experiencing [[The Call]], she tidies up her cottage, prepares her own wicker casket, and sets her last will and testament down in writing (confirming instructions she had already confided to Nanny Ogg), before laying herself to rest in her own bed one last time. When [[Death]] comes for her, he asks her if she was content with her life, with Granny confirming that she was satisfied to have lived the way she did and kept her part of the world safe. Death assured her that her candle will continue to flicker long after her passing and that she has left the world in a better condition than it was when she entered it. Her death is felt across the Disc: Nanny Ogg and Tiffany Aching arrive first to lay her to rest in the forest at a site pre-chosen by Granny herself, and Archchancellor [[Mustrum Ridcully]] visits briefly to pay his last respects. Over the course of the events of ''The Shepherd's Crown'', Tiffany Aching, who Granny has named her successor, over-stretches herself trying to oversee two steadings and live up to Granny's reputation as the new “Witch of Witches”, but eventually comes to accept the need to do things her way rather than simply make herself do everything Granny did.

==Characterization==
She is considered (not least of all by herself) to be the best [[witches magic|witch]] on the [[Discworld (world)|Discworld]] and is refered to by the [[Pictsies]] as the 'Hag O' Hags'. She is the resident witch of [[Bad Ass]], but she tends to regard the whole kingdom, and indeed absolutely anywhere else she happens to be, as her rightful domain, (not unlike [[Adora Belle Dearheart]] in that respect.) Her cottage is probably the most traditional of all the witches' cottages in Lancre, complete with archaic thatch, goats, and huge thickets of '[[herbs]]' which move even when there's no breeze. She has a special fondness for bees and keeps several hives in her garden.

She prefers to use "''[[headology]]''" instead of magic as the [[wizard's magic|wizards]] practise it, believing that magic is not so much flashy lights as knowing things that other people don't know. As a witch she is, on the one hand, feared by the people of the [[Ramtops]] and, on the other hand, respected as a midwife, herbalist, and the spiritual version of a coal-mine canary. Granny likes to [[borrowing|borrow]], a special kind of magic where the user enters the mind of an animal and can see through the eyes of that animal. As this technique renders her own body totally dormant, she now wears a small cardboard sign with the words "I Aten't Dead" on it to avoid unnecessary embarrassment. [[Image:Granny_Weatherwax.jpg|200px|left|thumb|Illustrated by [[user:Puggdogg|Mick Collins]]]]

''"Granny had been introduced to [[broomstick]] flying quite late in life, and after some initial suspicion had taken to it like a bluebottle to an ancient fish-head. A problem, however, was that Granny saw every flight simply as a straight line from A to B and was unable to get alongside the idea that other users of the air might have any rights whatsoever; the flight migration patterns of an entire continent had been changed because of that simple fact. High-speed evolution among local birds had developed a generation that flew on their backs, so that they could keep a watchful eye on the skies...Granny's implicit belief that everything should get out of her way extended to other witches, very tall trees and, on occasion, mountains."'' ([[Book:Wyrd Sisters|Wyrd Sisters]]).

Granny's opinions about other things being in the way of her broomstick has since moved with modern technology, as in {{GP}} we hear of an anonymous witch from Lancre who succeeded in bringing the [[clacks]] line down by riding her broomstick into one of the towers, damaging its sensitive mechanisms and terrifying the luckless crew.

While this witch is not identified and remains anonymous, a fairly accurate guess could be hazarded as to her name... it is noteworthy that [[Reacher Gilt]] himself must have thought twice about pursuing any claim for damages or inconvenience! {{SOD2}} confirms that she has had several such accidents, and believes the towers move into her way. Her broomstick was originally borrowed from a witch called [[Hilta Goatfounder]], and despite the best and continued efforts of the dwarfs servicing her broomstick, it won't take off without a considerable run.

Her [[Lily Weatherwax|elder sister]] left home in her youth, eventually to become a [[fairy godmother]]. Granny seems to harbour a bitter resentment of this fact, because after that she felt compelled to be the "good one" in the family; she also believes that she could have been a lot more evil than her sister. Despite this, she did stay at home and nurse her mother until she died.

Granny's personality would, to many, lend itself nicely to the "bad witch" stereotype: she's competitive, selfish and ambitious, with a quick temper and a sharp tongue. She also wields a gaze stern enough to make bears cower in humiliated shame. Her practical history, however, clearly puts her in the "good witch" camp (a sort of personification of "tough love"), if only because she's too proud to be any other kind.

Granny Weatherwax has faced [[Death]] many times, and has not backed down yet. She has also faced and defeated [[Elves]], [[vampires]] (or [[vampyres]]), and [[wizard's magic|wizards]]. (See [[Book:Lords and Ladies|Lords and Ladies]], [[Book:Carpe Jugulum|Carpe Jugulum]] and [[Book:Equal Rites|Equal Rites]])

Her companions, as far as a witch can have these, are [[Nanny Ogg]], [[Magrat Garlick]] and [[Agnes Nitt]]. She was [[Eskarina Smith]]'s first teacher in the arts of magic, until she realised that Esk's magic was of a different sort altogether. She gave [[Tiffany Aching]] her hat. She was once romantically involved with [[Mustrum Ridcully]]. Recently, via [[Tiffany Aching]], she has been acquired by a white kitten called [[You]]. This is surprising, as Granny is, by her own admission, not a cat person; [[Greebo]], who knows bad news when it blesses the house, always hides when she visits [[Nanny Ogg]].

==Character annotations==
"''Weatherwax''" was also the name of the author of an old lawbook. [http://groups.google.nl/group/alt.books.pratchett/msg/1dad94515c79f71c?hl=nl& Source]

==Trivia==
* According to ''[[Equal Rites]]'', Granny Weatherwax, amongst other things, makes her own liquor for medicinal purposes (she has her own [[wikipedia:Still|Still]]); her "triple-distilled white mountain [[wikipedia:Peach brandy|peach brandy]]" is well-known even in the town of Ohulan Cutash (a town fifteen miles away from Bad Ass), and it's regarded as "much better than [[wikipedia:Beer|beer]]". Granny's triple-distilled peach brandy isn't mentioned again until the events of ''The Shepherd's Crown''.
* [[wikipedia:Weatherwax|Weatherwax]] is a real (but rare) surname.
* In [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/books/authors/terry-pratchett-wanted-different-ending-shepherds-crown/ an article in the ''Telegraph''], Neil Gaiman revealed that Pratchett's intended ending for {{TSC}}, which he didn’t end up having time to work in, was that Granny had been Borrowing [[You]] to observe Tiffany during the events of the novel, and doesn’t properly move on until at the end.

==Also See==
* [[wikipedia:Granny Weatherwax|Granny Weatherwax's Entry]] on [[wikipedia:Wikipedia|Wikipedia]]

[[Category:Discworld characters|Weatherwax, Granny]]
[[Category:Leading characters|Weatherwax, Granny]]
[[Category:Serial characters|Weatherwax, Granny]]
[[Category:Human characters|Weatherwax, Granny]]
[[Category:Witches|Weatherwax, Granny]]
[[de:Esmeralda Wetterwachs]]

Havelock Vetinari

2026-06-04T00:29:10Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40774 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Character Data
|title= Vetinari
|photo= awakening.jpg|Havelock Vetinari as drawn by [https://ko-fi.com/i/IZ8Z21F56W Tealin]
|name= Havelock Vetinari
|age= about 50
|race= [[Humans|Human]] (as far as anyone can tell)
|occupation= [[Patrician]], ex-[[Assassins' Guild|Assassin]]
|appearance= Tall, fragile, in control. Has a goatee. His eyes are a penetrating ice-blue in colour. Walks with a cane after the events of {{MAA}}
|residence= [[Patrician's Palace]], [[Ankh-Morpork]]
|death=
|parents= Father dead, didn't take things seriously enough.
|relatives= Aunt [[Lady Roberta Meserole]]
|children=
|marital status= never married, linked to [[Margolotta|Lady Margolotta]].
|books= {{S}} {{G!G!}} {{MP}} {{MAA}} {{IT}} {{FOC}} {{T5E}} {{TT}} {{GP}} {{T!}} {{MM}} {{UA}} {{RS}}|
|cameos= {{TCOM}} {{SM}} {{TLH}} {{NW}} {{M}} (mentioned) {{WS}} (mentioned) ''[[Discworld Noir]]'' (his voice is heard)
}}
[[Image:Vet02.png|left|180px]]
Family Motto: ''SI NON CONFECTVS, NON REFICIAT.''

''If it ain't broke, don't fix it''

'''Havelock Vetinari''' is the current [[Patrician]] of [[Ankh-Morpork]]. He has been the supreme ruler for some years and is the successor of [[Mad Lord Snapcase]]. The Assassins' Guild have an AM$ 1,000,000 fee for his inhumation, though rumour says that they are not accepting contracts on him at present. As a former [[Assassins' Guild|Assassin]] himself, he is probably just too difficult to kill. However, his greatest defence against would-be plotters is that he carefully sees to it that a reality with him as Patrician is slightly better than one without him.

It was his discovery that people only really want stability and that tomorrow should pretty much resemble today, and this has been his greatest contribution to Ankh-Morpork. Impressively, he manages to keep this up even while he drags Ankh-Morpork, sometimes kicking and screaming, into the future. It is said that Vetinari can accomplish more with irony than most others can with steel. He can also accomplish more with one raised eyebrow than most people can with two of them and a lifetime of practice.

He seems to have no vices whatsoever, since some guild or other would otherwise undoubtedly have made use of them by now. Admittedly, Vetinari did ban street theatre and tends to hang mime artists upside down in a scorpion pit opposite a sign reading "Learn The Words," but this is generally taken by the population as simply an amusing character trait. Anyway, in Ankh-Morpork people think that strolling players are no better than criminals, and mimes are just plain freaky.

It has also recently emerged that Vetinari also has firmly-held Views about [[Daniellarina Pouter|modern art]] which are not far removed from those he holds concerning mime artists. While a fan of music in general, Lord Vetinari believes that actual live performance of [[Opera]] proves less enjoyable than simply reading the notes on the page.

Lord Vetinari enjoys a variety of games and puzzles (both metaphoric and literal); he faithfully completes the daily crossword in the ''[[Ankh-Morpork Times]]'' and is a master at [[Stealth Chess]]. He is also an expert [[Thud]] player, adept at either the Trolls or Dwarfs side of the board. For years, he has carried on a long-distance game with [[Lady Margolotta]] of Überwald, communicating moves via clacks. While initially opposed to the street game [[foot-the-ball]], the Patrician recently endorsed the version of the game played at Unseen University.

Several of his abilities (an absolutely photographic memory, the ability to solve puzzles almost instantly and an apparent inability to get drunk) suggest he may not be entirely human.

Though he apparently lacks any magical or technological understanding whatsoever, matters of that nature have never presented much of an obstacle to Vetinari, mostly because from his perspective such things ultimately manifest, both in initial cause and final effect, in the behaviour of people, which he understands exceedingly well.

Following the events of [[The Truth]], he employs [[Charlie (The Truth)|Charlie]] as his double, standing in for him on occasion. One such occasion was during [[Book:Raising Steam|Raising Steam]], while Vetinari adopted the guise of [[Stoker Blake]].

In the Sky One adaptation of The Colour of Magic he is played by Jeremy Irons. In the Sky One adaptation of Going Postal he is played by Charles Dance.

== Politics ==
Lord Vetinari has a vast spy network, and he himself is the head of intelligence, the only man who knows all of the information so far collected. We learn in {{G!G!}} that some of his spies are particularly intelligent [[Rats|rats]] who evolved under the magic-contaminated grounds of [[Unseen University]]. Also, in {{COM}}, it is suggested that he uses rats as messengers as well. It also appears that he has infiltrated the intelligence networks of the rival guilds and organisations in the city, taking choice morsels of intelligence. In {{S}} he was reading a report of what the chief thief said to his deputy in their secret meeting room. The patrician is adept at using the [[Clacks]] system to deliver misinformation. He has had [[Leonard of Quirm]] create highly difficult codes that can be broken by his most intelligent rivals, thus ensuring they know what he is thinking. Or rather they know what he wants them to believe he is thinking...

Vetinari is very good at listening, and has a way of making people uncomfortable so that they talk more and more in trying to dilute the atmosphere. Lord Vetinari is also very manipulative. His more obvious moves include the innovation of allowing crime syndicates to become legalized guilds much as guilds of people of other trades. This means that a certain amount of crime is legal, and it is the responsibility of the [[Thieves' Guild]] to punish unlicensed stealing, [[Assassins' Guild]] to punish uncontracted killing, etc., arguably doing a better job than the Guard, (when the Thieves' Guild went on strike, crime actually increased.) In politics Lord Vetinari strongly believes in the "''one man – one vote''," system, where he-alone is the man, and he alone has the vote. It seems to follow that the Patrician does not belong to any political party.

His less obvious moves include minimizing the Night Watch division of the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]]; populating it with riffraff and ethnic minorities and demoralizing its leader [[Samuel Vimes]] (then Captain), with the intent of winding him up so that he might unwind all at once, overstep his diminutive jurisdiction, and sort things out ({{MAA}}). Lord Vetinari hires many [[clerks]], some trained Assassins, some young diplomats who are not from the noble families, and some spies assigned to diplomatic offices.

The [[Patrician's Palace]] is in charge of the registration of the [[Guilds of Ankh-Morpork|Guilds]], diplomacy with foreign countries, the wages of City employees such as the Watchmen, and so on. Lord Vetinari also likes to give important jobs to unwilling young men whom he considers capable; his victims so far include [[William de Worde]] of the [[Ankh-Morpork Times]], and [[Moist von Lipwig]] of the [[Post Office]] and the [[Ankh-Morpork_Mint|Royal Mint]].

Unlike previous Patricians, Vetinari truly works to make the city work, not for personal gain or vanity. He has carried out many devious schemes for the good of the city, and eliminates persons or situations that threaten the city. In a very complex manoeuvre, he set up the Ankh-Morpork [[Post Office]] against the [[clacks]] company [[Grand Trunk]] to get the company out of the hands of embezzlers destroying the company for profit. After the clacks system gets back on its feet, Lord Vetinari can again let foreign diplomats send a clacks home about ''what he wants them to think''; characteristically he specifies that his codes be 'fiendishly difficult' but not unbreakable as he wants people to read them so that he knows what they think he thinks they're thinking.

Lord Vetinari's head clerk, for several years now, is a slight, quiet young man named [[Drumknott]]. Both Drumknott and the other members of the Palace staff have been instructed to accept bribes proffered for access to the Patrician.

His success has led many to attempt to emulate him – or, in some [[Cosmo Lavish|extreme cases]], to become him. There is apparently an entire wing of Ankh-Morpork's mental hospital devoted to people convinced that they are Vetinari. They often engage in eyebrow-raising competitions.

After the Unseen University banquet in [[Unseen Academicals]] he confesses to Drumknott that he is 'drunk as a skunk'; however, the only apparent manifestation of this is that he becomes extremely talkative, stubs his toe on a step in the palace, and takes an extra fifty seconds to solve the Times crossword.

==Early Years==
Havelock was born into the extremely wealthy and influential Vetinari family, and it seems that he was raised during the early part of his life by his aunt, [[Lady Roberta Meserole]].

In his youth, he attended the [[Assassins' Guild]], where he studied languages (the guild being the most proper place for wealthy families to send their children for education regardless of their specific vocation). It seems that Vetinari was particularly interested in classical arts of camouflage, defying the guild's policy of all-black dress in favour of dark grey and dark green. He was failed in his stealth course on account of his teacher never seeing him in classes. This, replied Vetinari in his own defense, was to his mind the ''entire point'' of the subject.

Vetinari gained a number of qualifications at the guild, listed in the {{AGD}} as: Doctor of Medicine & Applied Pathology, Doctor of Music, Doctor of God Studies, Master Assassin, Master of Political Expediency, Master of Alchemical Science, Member of the Institute of Dance & Deportment, Bachelor of the Science of Inhumation & Diploma in Physical Education. He has also gone on to become the guilds Provost.

He studied at the guild at the same time as the current Master of Assassins, [[Lord Downey]], who gave him the less-than-affectionate nickname 'Dog-botherer'. Given the positions they respectively hold thirty years later, it is possible that Downey now regrets the little misunderstandings of their youth, especially the nickname. It is obvious that Downey's attitude to Vetinari is now one of obsequious but wary respect. He did however graduate with full honors in [[1968 UC|1968]].

At some point during his early life he journeyed to [[Überwald]], as part of the [[Grand Sneer]] (where young members of high-born and wealthy families journey to backwards countries to see how inferior they are.) During this period Vetinari seems to have had some sort of a relationship with an Überwaldean noblewoman, the [[vampires|vampire]] [[Lady Margolotta]]. Contrary to the way things might have been expected to go, given their respective ages, it is implied that he taught her at least a good deal of what she knows about manipulation.

It is also very possible that when the Patricianship changed hands, and Snapcase demanded files be created on ''"up and coming young men in the Guild of Assassins"'', that would have been a ''very'' good time for Vetinari to embark on the leisurely coming-of-age Grand Sneer; customary to young men of his social class. If the new Patrician was seeking to establish a shortlist of candidates to ascertain the identity of the Assassin who inhumed his predecessor, it is highly likely that Vetinari would have been offered the same sort of grateful advancement as was offered to John Keel - making this an ideal time to leave the city for a few years and exploit his aunt's Disc-wide social and business connections.

How Vetinari himself ascended to the Patricianship is a story yet untold. It is known that his advice was heeded by Snapcase's administration on at least one occasion: when a 20p bounty on rat tails was introduced to combat a serious rodent infestation, but threatened to drain the treasury dry without curtailing the rats' numbers. Vetinari's suggestion to "tax the rat farms" provided an early demonstration of his shrewd political insight.

Another clue to the secret past of the Patrician is that once a year he, like several others, wears a sprig of lilac in remembrance of an important [[Glorious Revolution|event]] in recent history. This is because the Patrician fought in the event on the side of the Watchmen, though at a point of time when old Vimes was not present and the young one was unconscious. As well, Vetinari himself inhumed Lord Winder, by the method of sheer terror. In the latter case, he showed a remarkable degree of foresight and high ambition: Asked by the then-Patrician Winder: "Who are yer?", he answers: "Think of me as ... your future".

It has been said that the only living thing Lord Vetinari truly cared for was his dog, an extremely elderly wire-haired terrier named [[Wuffles]]. After Wuffles' death, he religiously visits the grave weekly to leave a favourite dog biscuit. The end of {{MM}} seems to indicate that he has adopted the chairman of the Royal Bank, [[Mr Fusspot]], to fill the void left by Wuffles.

In the difficult time of the ''[[Sourcerer]]'', which is very carefully not remembered by people who were visiting their ailing aunt in [[Quirm]] at the time, Vetinari was transformed into a yellow-green lizard. Both lizard and Wuffles were taken in for safekeeping by the [[Librarian]], until things could return to normal again. During this time, the lizard was kept in a glass jar. (This left him with an uncomfortable feeling near glass for some time.) Fortunately for the senior wizards, Vetinari suffered an uncharacteristic and extremely annoying memory loss on his return to human form, and was left with a distressing (but short-lived) urge to catch insects with his tongue...

==Character Annotations==
The name "'''Vetinari'''" is a pun on the infamous [[Wikipedia:Medici|De' Medici]] family of Florence who ruled the city and surroundings during the Renaissance.

His dislike of mime artists may be based on the Roman Emperor [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domitian#Religious_policy Domitian] who forbade mimes from appearing on stage in public. (Apparently appearing on stage in private was permitted between consenting adults.)

There is a famous Middle English chivalric romance called "Havelock the Dane."

There are several streets on [[Roundworld]] named 'Havelock' including a Havelock Place in Melbourne. It should be noted that many of these appear to be named after the British General Henry Havelock, who fought in the Indian Mutiny, and after whom the piece of cloth that hangs from the back of a kepi to keep the sun off the neck was named. (In the very best traditions of [[Blouse|military officers having items of clothing named after them]], and despite the fact the Japanese, who at the time didn't count, had independently invented such a useful item six hundred or so years beforehand).

Another famous Havelock was Victorian sexologist [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Havelock_Ellis Havelock Ellis], whose career took a very decidedly non-Victorian route, when he compiled what for many years were held to be the first definitive scholarly works on deviant sexuality. As the Victorians seemed to believe virtually every form of sexual expression was deviant, Ellis had no shortage of raw material to include, and gleefully set about shocking his society with a catalogue of work that comprehensively covered just about everything imaginable and quite a few things that are not, perhaps, so easily encompassed by the normal mind. Oddly enough the writings are not at all sexually stimulating or prurient: this Havelock dissects his subject with the same sort of matter-of-fact forensic care and attention to detail that Havelock Vetinari might put to running a city. The underlying reasoning is one that Havelock Vetinari might recognise and nod approval to- there is a suspicion that Ellis is trying to wake people up and bring them to a new level of understanding about how things can be better organised and understood, even if this means having to think the hitherto unthinkable, and contemplate things previously thought beyond the civilised pale.

The name "Havelock" is often said to be of Old Norse/Norwegian origin meaning "sea war"/"sea-contest"/"sea sport" and the likes. According to [http://www.babynamespedia.com/meaning/Havelock this site], however, it's said to be of Germanic origin, primarily used in the Welsh language, meaning "elf warrior" or "olive tree".

Interestingly, this quote echoes Vetinari's philosophy and his stated reason why he has remained Patrician for so long:

''In the end, more than freedom, they wanted security. They wanted a comfortable life...''

Controversy dogs its provenance. It is sometimes attributed to historian Edmund Gibbon, writing on the final collapse of the Greek city states, first to Persia, then to Macedonia and Rome. But research suggests this is more recent: Margaret Thatcher speaking on the evils of socialism in 1994. A version may have originated with Gibbon; Thatcher's paraphrase is in the context of a diatribe on the perceived evils of state intervention and socialist patriarchy. And Gibbon certainly never said that!

==Also See==
* [[wikipedia:Havelock Vetinari|Havelock Vetinari's Entry]] on [[wikipedia:Wikipedia|Wikipedia]]

[[Category:Discworld characters|Vetinari, Havelock]]
[[Category:Serial characters|Vetinari, Havelock]]
[[Category:Supporting characters|Vetinari, Havelock]]
[[Category:Human characters|Vetinari, Havelock]]
[[de:Havelock Vetinari]]

Book:The Light Fantastic

2026-06-04T00:28:43Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40773 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Book Data
|title=The Light Fantastic
|cover=[[File:Cover The Light Fantastic.jpg|thumb|240px|Cover art by Josh Kirby]]
|coauthors=
|illustrator=[[Josh Kirby]]
|date=May 1986
|publisher=Colin Smythe
|isbn=9780861402038
|pages=217
|rrp=
|series=Rincewind Series
|characters=[[Rincewind]], [[Twoflower]], [[the Luggage]]
|annotations=yes
|notes= Book #02
}}
==Blurb==
As it moves towards a seemingly inevitable collision with a malevolent red star, the [[Discworld (world)|Discworld]] has only one possible saviour. Unfortunately, this happens to be the singularly inept and cowardly wizard called [[Rincewind]], who was last seen falling off the edge of the world ....

==Characters==
===Major Characters===

* [[Rincewind]]
* [[Twoflower]]
* [[the Luggage]]
* [[Ymper Trymon]]
* [[Cohen]] (first appearance)

===Minor Characters===
* [[Galder Weatherwax]], 304th Archchancellor of Unseen University
* [[Swires]], a gnome (possibly the first appearance of [[Buggy Swires]], though this is not confirmed)
* [[Bethan]]
* [[Horse People]], collective name for the Horse Tribes in the [[Hubland]] steppes
* [[Herrena the Henna-Haired Harridan]] (first appearance)
* [[Kwartz]], a homophone of {{wp|Quartz|Quartz}}
* [[Chrysoprase|Krysoprase]] (first appearance), a homophone of {{wp|Chrysoprase|Chrysoprase}}
* [[Breccia (troll)|Breccia]], a troll; not to be confused with 'the' [[Breccia]], a troll crime syndicate, though the latter is possibly named after the former; named after {{wp|Breccia|Breccia}}
* [[Jasper]], a troll; named after {{wp|Jasper|Jasper}}
* [[Beryl]], a troll; named after {{wp|Beryl|Beryl}}
* [[Old Grandad]], nickname for a troll whose real name we do not learn
* [[Weems]], Morpork mercenary
* [[Lackjaw]], dwarf jeweler

===Cameos===
* [[Death]]
* the [[Librarian]] (first appearance)
* [[Greyhald Spold]]
* [[Belafon]], a surprisingly modern [[druid]] whose job title is "computer hardware consultant"
* [[Zakriah]], colleague of Belafon's
* [[Professor of Astrology]]
* [[Ysabell]] (first appearance)
* [[Jiglad Wert]]
* [[Lumuel Panter]]
* [[Ganmack Treehallet]]
* [[War]] (first appearance)
* [[Famine]] (first appearance)
* [[Pestilence]] (first appearance)
* [[Gancia]], leader of a gang of Morpork mercenaries
* [[Dahoney]], demagogue of the [[Star People]]

===Mentions===


* [[the Luggage|A box with many little legs that looks malevolently upon you without eyes]] -- sometimes seen by hallucinogen-enhanced shaman. However, this one is for real...
* [[Ancient Ones]] -- omniscient multi-verse beings who know everything about all the universes
* Azimrothe, T'chikel, Yrriph, Kcharla, Cheliliki, and Orizone -- supernatural entities by which Death can presumably be commanded (though Galder Weatherwax may just be posturing, especially since Death is answering questions freely anyway)
* [[Sky God]] and [[Celestial Cow]] -- possible creators of the universe according to some theories
* [[Skrelt Changebasket]] -- wizard
* [[Cimbar]] -- an Assassin
* [[Creosote]] -- [[Seriph]] of [[Al Khali]] in the expression "as rich as Creosote"
* [[Dean of Liberal Studies]] -- swallowed by the Luggage
* [[Captain Eightpanther]] -- creator of [[Captain Eightpanther's Travellers' Digestives]], a type of biscuit (full name given in {{COM}}, though possibly the human equivalent of [[dwarf bread]])
* [[Moon goddess]] -- who virgin druids meet when they are sacrificed (later in the book, we learn there are several moon goddesses)
* [[Olaf Quimby II]] -- a Patritian of Ankh with views on descriptive writing
* [[Rhunlet Vard]] -- apparent successor to Greyhald Spold (but opposed by Trymon)
* [[Ly Tin Wheedle]] -- famous philosopher
* [[Granny Whitlow]] -- witch who built a candy cottage (even though it sounds more like something [[Aliss_Demurrage|Black Aliss]] would do)
* [[Woo Hun Ling]] -- owner of Woo Hun Ling's [[Oriental Exotica and Martial Aids]], a shop on [[Heroes Street]]. Interestingly, the shop name does appear to be "martial" (relating to war), not "marital" (relating to marriage), possibly a typo, but perhaps an intentional joke. It's also interesting that the shop's name contains the word "Oriental": on the Disc, shouldn't this be Agatean? (or perhaps ''Auriental'' as this variant is used elsewhere).

==Things and Devices==
* [[Book of Going Forth Around Elevenish]] -- book written by rather lazy [[Llama]]ic sect
* bronze torc -- apparently a small unit of druid currency
* [[Bumper Fun Grimoire]] -- book possibly containing last original joke in the universe
* Chant of the Trodden Spiral -- software-like chant designed for "concentric circle computing"
* charm, persuasion, uncertainty, bloody-mindedness -- according to druids, the universe's operation depends on these four forces
* Cupumuguk snow runes -- a language that the Eight Spells appear in briefly
* [[Iyt Gryet Teymple hyte Tsort, Y Hiystory Myistical]] -- a book (perhaps the only one) about the [[Pyramids]] of Tsort.
* I Don't Know, What? -- a geographical feature of unknown type with a silly name
* Just A Mountain -- a mountain with a silly name
* [[manicreach]] -- creature whose entrails can be used for scrying purposes
* [[Mirror of Oversight]] -- magical device
* [[Necrotelicomnicon]] -- a famous [[Grimoire|grimoire]]
* [[Nosehinger on the Laws of Contract]], a book Twoflower gives the Four Horseman to learn [[Contract Bridge (game)|bridge]]
* [[Potent Voyager]] -- research vessel
* Runes of M'haw
* [[Seal of Eightfold Stasis]] -- magical seal with considerable stopping power
* [[Seven League Boots]] --a somewhat tricky means of transportation
* [[Skelde, Spirit of the Smoke]] -- sometimes seen by hallucinogen-enhanced shaman
* [[The Little Folks' Book of Flower Fairies]] -- a book about pixies that Twoflower read as a child
* [[Topaxci, the God of the Red Mushroom]] -- sometimes seen by hallucinogen-enhanced shaman
* [[Umcherrel, the Soul of the Forest]] -- sometimes seen by hallucinogen-enhanced shaman
* [[Wandering Shop]] -- theoretical galactic empire controlled by shopkeepers (reminiscent of Robert Asprin's Deva?)
* [[YMPA|Young Men's Pagan Association]] -- parody of the Young Men's Christian Association ({{wp|YMCA|YMCA}})

==Locations==
* [[Ankh-Morpork]]
** [[Unseen University]] (first appearance)
*** [[Great Hall]]
*** [[Tower of Art]]
* [[Death's Domain]]
* [[Dungeon Dimensions]]
* [[Krull]]
* The [[Octavo]] (in certain metaphysical respects)
* The [[Red Star]]
* [[River Smarl]], a river connecting to the [[Circle Sea]]
* [[Skillet, Wang, Yrxle!yt, Bunglestiff, Cwmlad and Patel]], a [[tabernae vagantes|wandering shop]] appearing inside brick wall
* [[Skund]]
* [[Trollbone Mountains]]
* [[Vortex Plains]]
* [[Your Finger You Fool]], a forest in [[Skund]], rimwards of the [[Ramtops|Ramtop Mountains]], including:
** [[Mount Oolskunrahod]], a mountain whose name translates to "Who is this Fool who does Not Know what a Mountain Is"

==Sentient Species==
*[[Dwarfs]]
*[[Humans]]
*Giants (mentioned)
*[[Gnomes]]
*[[Trolls]]

==Supernatural Entities==
*[[Creator|The Creator]] (mentioned)
*[[Demons]] (mentioned)
*[[Death]] & the [[Four Horsemen|Horsemen]] of the the [[Apocralypse]]
*[[The gods|The Gods]] (mentioned)
*[[Ice Giants]] (mentioned)
*[[Imps]]
*[[Dungeon Dimensions|Horrors from the Dungeon Dimensions]]

==Adaptations==
{{TV Data
|title=Terry Pratchett's The Colour of Magic
|cover=[[File:Magic DVD.jpg|thumb|200px]]
|asin=B001EM1E8A
|imdb=1079959
|date=23-24 March 2008
|channel=Sky One
|director=Vadim Jean
|producer=Rod Brown & Ian Sharples
|cast=David Jason, Sean Astin, Tim Curry, Christopher Lee (voice)
|duration=184 minutes
|episodes=2

|notes=
|series=Rincewind Series
|prev=[[TV and Film:Hogfather|Terry Pratchett's Hogfather]]
|next=[[TV and Film:Going Postal|Terry Pratchett's Going Postal]]
}}
===[[TV and Film:The Colour of Magic|Television]]===
The plot of 'The Light Fantastic' was the focus of the series second episode.

Cast:
*[[Rincewind]] - [[Wikipedia:David_Jason|David Jason]] (''Only Fools And Horses, A Touch Of Frost, The Darling Buds of May, Open All Hours)
*[[Twoflower]] - [[Wikipedia:Sean_Astin|Sean Astin]] (''Lord of the Rings'' trilogy, ''The Goonies'')
*[[Trymon]] - [[Wikipedia:Tim_Curry|Tim Curry]] (''The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Legend'')
*[[Death]] (voice) - [[Wikipedia:Chistopher_Lee|Christopher Lee]] (''The Wicker Man, The Man with the Golden Gun, Lord of the Rings trilogy, Star Wars Episode II: The Attack of the Clones, Star Wars Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith)
*[[Lord Vetinari]] - [[Wikipedia:Jeremy_Irons|Jeremy Irons]] (''Die Hard with a Vengance, Dead Ringers'')
*[[Cohen the Barbarian]] - [[Wikipedia:David_Bradley|David Bradley]] (''Harry Potter'' series, ''Hot Fuzz'')
*[[Bethan]] - [[Wikipedia:Laura_Haddock|Laura Haddock]] (''Honest, How Not To Live Your Life'')
*[[Galder Weatherwax]] - [[Wikipedia:James_Cosmo|James Cosmo]] (''Highlander, Braveheart, Trainspotting'')
*[[Librarian | Head Librarian of the Unseen University]] - [[Wikipedia:Nicolas_Tennant|Nicolas Tennant]] ([[TV and Film:Hogfather|''Terry Pratchett's Hogfather'']])
*[[Liessa]] - [[Wikipedia:Karen_David|Karen David]]
*[[Herrena]] - [[Wikipedia:Liz_May_Brice|Liz May Brice]]
*[[Arch-Astronomer]] - [[Wikipedia:Nigel_Planer|Nigel Planer]] (''The Young Ones'')
*[[The Luggage]] - [[Wikipedia:Richard_Da_Costa|Richard Da Costa]]
*[[Lumuel Panter]] - [[Wikipedia:Roger_Ashton-Griffiths|Roger Ashton-Griffiths]]
*[[Zlorf Flannelfoot]] - [[Wikipedia:Miles_Richardson|Miles Richardson]]
*[[Kring]] - [[Wikipedia:James_Perry|James Perry]]
*[[Broadman]] - [[Wikipedia:Stephen_Marcus|Stephen Marcus]] ([[TV and Film:Hogfather|''Terry Pratchett's Hogfather'']])

The TV adaptation also adds characters not referenced in the original book like [[Hector Tugelbend]] and [[Ransak Boggett]], who are essentially "placeholder" characters added for completion who are referenced only once, with minimal information, and then disappear again.

===[[Game:The Colour of Magic|Video Game]]===
{{TCOM}} and The Light Fantastic were adapted into a text adventure video game [[Game:The Colour of Magic|''The Colour of Magic'']] in 1986.

===[[Book:The Discworld Graphic Novels The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic|Graphic Novel]]===
The novel was adapted into a series of four comics illustrated by Steven Ross. These were then collected into a single edition in 1993 and then later in 2008 combined with the other collected edition based on {{TCOM}} into the omnibus [[Book:The Discworld Graphic Novels The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic|''The Discworld Graphic Novels The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic'']].

In 2008 {{TCOM}} and The Light Fantastic were reprinted together in a 25th anniversary edition with illustrations by [[Stephen Player]].

===[[Theatre Adaptations|Theatre]]===
Elements of the book were used in the playtext [[Book:The Rince Cycle|''The Rince Cycle'']] by [[Stephen Briggs]] in 2015.

==Gallery==
<gallery mode="nolines" heights="120px">
File:LF First.jpg|First Edition Cover by [[Josh Kirby]]
File:LF Compact.jpg|Compact Edition 1995
File:LF Black.jpg|Paperback 2004
File:LF Tape.jpg|Audio Cassette
File:LF CD.jpg|Audio CD
File:LF US1.jpg|US Cover 2005
File:LF US2.jpg|US Cover 2013
File:TCOM LF Illustrated.jpg|Illustrated Edition by [[Stephen Player]]
File:TCOM LF Movie.jpg|Omnibus with TV Cover
File:LF Zoom.jpg|Paperback 2012
File:LF Unseen.jpg|[[Unseen Library]] Edition
File:LF CL.jpg|[[Discworld Collector’s Library]] Edition
File:LF_2022.jpg|Paperback 2022
</gallery>

==External links==
[http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/the-light-fantastic.html ''The Light Fantastic'' Annotations - The Annotated Pratchett File]

{{series|before=The Colour of Magic|series=Discworld|after=Equal Rites}}
{{series|before=The Colour of Magic|series=Rincewind|after=Sourcery}}
{{series|before=The Colour of Magic|series=Wizards|after=Sourcery}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Light Fantastic, The}}
[[Category:Discworld Series]]
[[Category:Rincewind Series]]
[[Category:Wizards Series]]
[[de:Buch:Das Licht der Phantasie]]

Biography

2026-06-04T00:28:25Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40772 by Abcdefabric (talk)

[[File:Pratchett Head.jpg|right|thumb|300px|The man himself]]
'''Sir Terence David John Pratchett, OBE''' (let's acknowledge it here, just once, but hereinafter, I'm sure he won't mind if we leave it as plain Terry?) a prolific British author of comedy fantasy (28 April 1948 – 12 March 2015).

==Blurbs==
Over the years several versions of the cover text which describes the author were printed.

* '''1990, {{TCOM}}, Corgi:''' Terry Pratchett is, on average, a sort of youngish middle-aged. He lives in Somerset with his wife and daughter, and long ago chose journalism as a career because it was indoor work with no heavy lifting. Beyond that he positively refuses to be drawn. People never read these biographies anyway, do they? They want to get on with the book, not wade through masses of prose designed to suggest that the author is really a very interesting person so look, okay, he wrote these other books, all right, they were [[Book:The Carpet People|The Carpet People]] (for kids), [[Book:The Dark Side of the Sun|The Dark Side of the Sun]], [[Book:The Light Fantastic|The Light Fantastic]], [[Book:Equal Rites|Equal Rites]], [[Book:Mort|Mort]], [[Book:Sourcery|Sourcery]] and [[Book:Wyrd Sisters|Wyrd Sisters]]. The last five were about the Discworld, and actually quite a lot of people liked them. He grows carnivorous plants as a hobby; they are a lot less interesting than people believe. * For those who really need to know, Terry Pratchett was born in Buckinghamshire in 1948. He's managed to avoid all interesting jobs authors take in order to look good in this sort of biography. In search for a quiet life he got a job as a Press officer with the Central Electricity Generating Board just after Three Mile Island, which shows the unerring sense of timing. It's true about the carnivorous plants, though.

* '''1990, [[Book:Good Omens|Good Omens]], Corgi:''' For those who really need to know, Terry Pratchett was born in Buckinghamshire in 1948. He's managed to avoid all interesting jobs authors take in order to look good in this sort of biography. In search for a quiet life he got a job as a Press officer with the Central Electricity Generating Board just after Three Mile Island, which shows the unerring sense of timing. Now a full time writer, he lives in Wiltshire with his wife and daughter. He likes people to buy him banana daiquiris (he knows people don't read author biographies, but feels it might be worth a try).

* '''1994, [[Book:Interesting Times|Interesting Times]], Corgi:''' Terry Pratchett was born in 1948 and still is not dead. He started work as a journalist one day in 1965 and saw his first corpse three hours later, work experience ''meaning'' something in those days. After doing just about every job it's possible to do in provincial journalism, except of course covering Saturday afternoon football, he joined the Central Electricity Generating Board and became press officer for four nuclear power stations. He'd write a book about his experiences if he thought anyone would believe it. All this came to an end in 1987 when it became obvious that the Discworld series was much more enjoyable than real work. Since then the books have reached double figures and have a regular place in the bestseller lists. He also writes books for younger readers. Occasionally he gets accused of literature. Terry Pratchett lives in Wiltshire with his wife Lyn and daughter [[Rhianna Pratchett|Rhianna]]. He says writing is the most fun anyone can have by themselves.

* ''' 1998, [[Book:Men at Arms|Men at Arms]], Doubleday:''' Terry Pratchett lives in the West Country, where he tries to write books in between answering his mail. He lives in constant dread that someone will discover how enjoyable he finds writing, and stop him doing it. He thinks the world could use more orang-utans. The carnivorous plants in the greenhouse are still doing well.

* '''1998, [[Book:The Last Continent|The Last Continent]], Doubleday:''' Terry Pratchett is fifty and lives behind a keyboard in Wiltshire, where he answers letters in a desperate attempt to find the time to write. He used to grow carnivorous plants, but now they've taken over the greenhouse and he avoids going in. He feels it may be time to get a life, since apparently they're terrible useful.

* '''1999, [[Book:The Fifth Elephant|The Fifth Elephant]], Doubleday:''' Terry Pratchett is Britain's best-selling living novelist. He lives behind a keyboard in Wiltshire and says he 'doesn't want to get a life, because it feels as though he's trying to lead three already'. [[Book:The Fifth Elephant|The Fifth Elephant]] is the twenty-fourth novel in his phenomenally successful Discworld series.

* '''2001, [[Book:Thief of Time|Thief of Time]], Doubleday:''' Terry Pratchett is the author of the phenomenal Discworld series, and is Britain's best-selling living novelist. He was appointed {{wp|Order_of_the_British_Empire|OBE}} in 1998.

* '''2001, [[Book:The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents|The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents]], Doubleday:''' Terry Pratchett is one of the most popular authors writing today. The author of the phenomenally successful Discworld series, which is written for adults but is also read by many young readers, and a number of successful books for younger readers (which are also read by adults and have appeared on several major award shortlists). His trilogy for young readers, ''The Bromeliad'', is being adapted into a spectacular animated movie. He lives behind a keyboard in Wiltshire and says he 'doesn't want to get a life, because it feels as though he's trying to lead three already'. He was appointed {{wp|Order_of_the_British_Empire|OBE}} in 1998.
* '''2004, [[Book:A Hat Full of Sky|A Hat Full of Sky]], Doubleday:''' Terry Pratchett is one of the most popular authors writing today. He is particlarly well known for the phenomenally successful Discworld series, which includes two previous titles for younger readers [[Book:The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents|The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents]], which won the 2001 Carnegie Medal, and [[Book:The Wee Free Men|The Wee Free Men]], the first novel about [[Tiffany Aching]] and the [[Nac Mac Feegle]]. He has also written a number of other successful titles for younger readers, including the ''Bromeliad'' trilogy. Terry Patchett lives in Wiltshire, and finds the days are rather full.

* '''2004, [[Book:Once More* *with Footnotes|Once More* *with Footnotes]], NESFA Press:''' '''''Terry Pratchett''''' is the author of, mostly, the thirty-one novels in the '''''Discworld''''' series, which have something like 55,000,000 copies worldwide.

: He began writing in his teens, but actually ''followed'' the advice that old writers give to new writers, which is: get another job to pay the bills. This may have been a bad idea because he chose newspaper journalism, which was great fun but gave him practically no spare time in which to write. So he got a job as a PR man in the UK's electricity supply industry, thinking that handling the Press for four nuclear power stations would be a nice quiet life.

: This turned out to be untrue, because of some place called Three Mile Island.

: Nevertheless, as a relaxation from the demands of his day-and-night job, he invented '''''Discworld''''', a fantasy world with wizards, witches, heroes, dragons, and other mythological fauna, but where people act as if they are ''real''. It sold so well that within a few years he was able to quit the day-and-night job because he was making more money from his hobby.

: Since then he has published at a rate of, usually, two books a year. Most are in the '''''Discworld''''' series, but he also writes for children (The '''''Johnny Maxwell''''' books, '''''The Bromeliad''''') and, with [[Neil Gaiman]], co-authored '''''Good Omens''''', a book about the lighter side of Armageddon which might just possibly turn into a movie before Armageddon happens for real.

: While other ventures are planned, '''''Discworld''''' continues. In recent years it has split into "adult" and "children's" series. The difference between them is that one deals with serious themes, while the other one is for adults.

: '''''Terry Pratchett''''' was born in England in the small town of Beaconsfield, currently being engulfed by London's sprawl, and now lives with his wife Lyn in Wiltshire, close enough to Stonehenge to find it boring. Their daughter Rhianna is a journalist, on the basis that it worked for her dad.

: Since writing was his hobby, he doesn't actually have one now. However, he reads a lot, grows things, and last year achieved a boyhood dream by building an astronomical observatory in his garden. In 1998, he was awarded the OBE in the Queen's Birthday Honours List for "services to literature." He suspects, however, that the best service he has done for literature is deny that he writes it.

* '''2011, {{SN}}, Doubleday:''' Terry Pratchett is the acclaimed creator of the Discworld series, started in 1983 with {{TCOM}} and now, with {{SN}}, numbering thirty-nine novels. Worldwide sales of his books are in excess of 70 million, and they have been translated into thirty-seven languages. Terry Pratchett was awarded an OBE in 1998, and was knighted for services to literature in 2009.

==Awards==
*1989-BSFA Award for Best Novel: {{P}}
*1996-Nestlé Smarties Book Prize, Silver Award, 9-11 years: {{JATB}}
*2001-Carnegie Medal: {{TAM}}
*2003-Prometheus Award: {{NW}}
*2004-Locus Award for Best Young Adult Book: {{WFM}}
*2005-Mythopoeic Fantasy Award for Children's Literature: {{HFOS}}
*2005-Locus Award for Best Young Adult Book: {{HFOS}}
*2007-Locus Award for Best Young Adult Book: {{W}}
*2008-Locus Award for Best Fantasy Novel: {{MM}}
*2008-Los Angeles Times Book Prize for Young Adult Literature: {{N}}
*2009-Edward E. Smith Memorial Award for Imaginative Fiction, or "Skylark Award"
*2009-Geffen Award for Best Translated Fantasy Novel: {{HFOS}}
*2009-Boston Globe-Horn Book Award for Fiction and Poetry: {{N}}
*2010-World Fantasy Award for Life Achievement
*2011-Andre Nórton Award for Young Adult Science Fiction and Fantasy: {{ISWM}}
*2011-Margaret A. Edwards Award
*2012-Bollinger Everyman Wodehouse Prize: {{SN}}
*2012-British Academy Television Award for Best Single Documentary: [[TV and Film:Terry Pratchett Choosing to Die|''Terry Pratchett Choosing to Die'']]
*2016-Locus Award for Best Young Adult Book: {{TSC}}
*2016-Kate Wilhelm Solstice Award

==Other personal facts==
In 1995 Terry had a fossilised species named after him [[Discworld Fossils|''Psephophorus terrypratchetti'']], fittingly it's a turtle.

Terry Pratchett on Desert Island Discs, 1997. [http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00944ry Episode on the BBC Website], and [http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00944rz/segments the music chosen].

In 2002 Terry had an asteroid named after him: [[127005 Pratchett]].

In 2007, Terry Pratchett suffered a [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/health/healthmain.html?in_article_id=490576&in_page_id=1774 mild stroke], resulting in the ability to recall the lyrics of advertising jingles from 40 years ago and the inability to knot a tie. This diagnosis turned out to be inaccurate, however. On 11 December 2007, Terry announced that he had been diagnosed with a rare form of early-onset Alzheimer's disease.

At the end of the announcement he writes, "I will, of course, be dead at some future point, as will everybody else. For me, this maybe further off than you think - it's too soon to tell." Terry later collaborated with the BBC to produce a documentary expanding on his experience with the disease, [[TV and Film:Terry Pratchett Living With Alzheimer's|''Terry Pratchett Living With Alzheimer's'']].

Terry also filmed [[TV and Film:Terry Pratchett Choosing to Die|''Terry Pratchett: Choosing to Die'']], a documentary on euthanasia. In it he interviews several people with incurable conditions who are considering, or have considered, choosing the point of their own death. He also investigated Dignitas, a Swiss group who helps those with terminal or severe illnesses to die. Peter Smedley, hotelier and millionaire, allowed himself to be filmed consuming a barbiturate solution in order to end his own life.

Terry wrote dialogue and made multiple suggestions for a Mod, [[Vilja|Companion Vilja]], for the PC game {{wp|The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion|''The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion''}}.

In 2011 Transworld Publishers began a biennial prize named after Sir Terry, the [[Terry Pratchett First Novel Award]].

Thursday, March 12th 2015: Sir Terry Pratchett died at home in Wiltshire following a long battle with Alzheimer's. [http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-31858156 BBC report, 3:26pm GMT]

[[File:200px-Terry_Pratchett_COA.svg.png|450px|thumb|right|Sir Terry's coat of arms, chosen on the occasion of his knighthood]]

==Arise, Sir Terry of Discworld!==
On 31st December 2008, the annual New Year's Honours List announced that Terry Pratchett is to become Sir Terry Pratchett for services to [[Literature|English literature]]. ('''''Guardian''''', London, 31/12/08).

Sir Terry is reported as being "absolutely flabbergasted" .

"There are times when phrases such as ''totally astonished'' just don't do the job. I am of course delighted and honoured and, needless to say, flabbergasted."

''The Guardian'' also pointed to TP's work on behalf of Alzheimers' awareness, and hinted this may also have swung the decision.

In celebration of his knighthood Terry forged his own sword, as a real knight needs one of course. Terry forged it using with help from a local blacksmith using iron mined from a field near his home and pieces of meteorite, in a kiln thathe built himself. According to Rhianna Pratchett the sword was christened 'Thunderbolt Iron.'

==Memorial==
Sir Terry passed away on the 12th of March 2015 leaving behind a huge legacy. A memorial in his honour was held on the 14th of April 2016 at the Barbican Theatre in London. The event was attended by [[Book:Terry Pratchett's Memorial Folio|friends, family and fans]], notable speakers included his daughter [[Rhianna Pratchett]], [[Rob Wilkins]], [[Neil Gaiman]] and Tony Robinson. There was music by [[Maddy Prior|Steeleye Span]] and Eric Idle via video. There were several announcements to showcase that although Terry had shaken hands with death his work would continue and his legacy was in good hands; these included a biography on Terry by Rob Wilkins, Television adaptations of {{GO}} by Neil Gaiman and The Watch TV Series by [[Narrativia (production company)|Narrativia]], a movie adaptation of {{WFM}} by Rhianna Pratchett and more. Sir Terry is gone but not forgotten.

A man is not dead while his name is still spoken. Speak his name.

The phrase [[GNU Terry Pratchett]], in reference to {{GP}}, has became popular as a tribute by fans to the author. The phrase has since been incorporated into web coding in order to keep his name being spoken over the internet in the same manner as it is used in the novel.

==External Links==
*{{ls|about-terry/biography.html|A biography of Terry Pratchett by Colin Smythe}}
*[http://www.terrypratchettbooks.com/terry/ About Terry from the author's website]
*[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terry_Pratchett Terry Pratchett on Wikipedia]
*[https://www.facebook.com/pratchett/?ref=py_c Terry Pratchett's Facebook Page]
*[https://twitter.com/terryandrob Terry Pratchett on Twitter]

:
[[Category:Terry Pratchett|Biography]]
[[de:Terry Pratchett]]

Book:Pyramids

2026-06-04T00:28:19Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40771 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Book Data
|title=Pyramids
|cover=[[File:Cover Pyramids.jpg|thumb|240px|Cover art by Josh Kirby]]
|coauthors=
|illustrator=
|date=June 1989
|publisher=Victor Gollancz
|isbn=0575044632
|pages=288
|rrp=
|series=Discworld Series
|characters=[[Teppic]], [[Dios]], [[Ptraci]]
|annotations=yes
|notes= Book #07
}}
==Blurb==
Being trained by the [[Assassins' Guild]] in [[Ankh-Morpork]] did not fit [[Teppic]] for the task assigned to him by fate. He inherited the throne of the desert kingdom of [[Djelibeybi]] rather earlier than he expected (his father wasn't too happy about it either), but that was only the beginning of his problems ...

==Books==
Divided into four books:

:Book I: The Book of Going Forth
:Book II: The Book of the Dead
:Book III: The Book of the New Son
:Book IV: The Book of 101 Things A Boy Can Do

==Major Characters==
* [[Dios]]
* [[Teppic]]
* [[Chidder]]
* [[Ptraci]]

==Minor Characters==
* [[Mericet]]
* King [[Pteppicymon XXVII]], Teppic's father and king of Djelibeybi
* [[Death]]
* [[Fliemoe]]
* [[Arthur Ludorum]], son of Johan [[Ludorum]]
* [[Cheesewright]]
* [[Dil]], the embalmer (puns on "dill pickle", since "pickle" is slang for "embalm")
* [[Gern]], Dil's apprentice
* [[Ptaclusp]], architect
* [[Ptaclusp IIa]], son of Ptaclusp
* [[Ptaclusp IIb]], son of Ptaclusp
* [[Grinjer]], model maker
* [[You Bastard]], camel, disc's greatest mathematician
* Ephebian philosophers
** [[Xeno]], parodying {{wp|Zeno|Zeno}}
** [[Ibid]], a philosopher, perhaps repetitive
** [[Pthagonal]], parodies {{wp|Pythagoras|Pythagoras}}
** [[Copolymer]], greatest storyteller in the history of the world
** [[Iesope]], greatest fable teller in the world, parodying {{wp|Aesop|Aesop}}
** [[Antiphon]], greatest comic play writer in the world, a parody of {{wp|Aristophanes|Aristophanes}} - "Antiphon" is loosely translatable as "jarring"
** [[Endos]], the Listener

==Cameos and Mentions==
* [[Blind Io]] (mentioned)
* Uncle [[Vyrt]], Teppic's assassin uncle
* Lady [[Nooni]], Djelibeybi noblewoman
* [[Artela]], Teppic's mother
* Lord [[Fhem-pta-hem]], Djelibeybi nobleman
* [[Khuft]], founder of Djelibeybi
* [[Orm]], a god with only two worshipers
* [[Offler]] (mentioned)
* [[Snoxall]], student assassin
* [[Mother Goddess]] (mentioned)
* Dr [[Cruces]], head tutor of the Assassins' Guild
* [[Jahmet]], servant who discovers King Teppicymon's body
* [[Hoot Koomi]], high priest of [[Khefin]]
* [[Assassins' Guild|Mrs Collar]], Teppic's bedder in sixth form
* [[Glwenda]], garlic farmer's daughter that Gern is pursuing
* [[Mrs Ptaclusp]] (mentioned)
* Former rulers of Djelibeybi
** Queen [[Khaput]]
** King [[Pta-ka-ba]]
** Queen [[Khat-leon-ra-pta]]
** King [[Kheneth XIV]] (note resemblance to English name "Kenneth")
** Queen [[Far-re-ptah]] aka "Grandma Pooney"
** King [[Ashk-ur-men-tep]]
** King [[Psam-nut-kha]] ("some nut case"?)
* Gods of Djelibeybi
** Sun Gods
*** [[Yay]], who has lost his toenails (or perhaps his hot-air paint stripper)
*** [[Nesh]], goddess
*** [[Cephnet]]
*** [[Scrab]], Pusher of the Ball of the Sun, a dung beetle
*** [[Thrrp]], Charioteer of the Sun
*** [[Jeht]], Boatman of the Solar Orb
*** [[Gil]]
** Supreme Gods
*** [[Net]]
*** [[Fon]]
*** [[Hast]]
*** [[Set]]
*** [[Bin]]
*** [[Sot]]
*** [[Ic]]
*** [[Dhek]]
*** [[Ptooie]]
** World of Dead rulers
*** [[Herpetine Triskeles]]
*** [[Syncope]]
*** [[Silur]], the Catfish-Headed God
*** [[Orexis-Nupt]]
** Other gods
*** [[Hat]], the Vulture-Headed God of Unexpected Guests
*** [[Eater of Souls]]
*** [[Bast]], the Cat-Headed God
*** [[Nept]], sky goddess
*** [[Vut]], the Dog-Headed God of the Evening
*** [[Ket]], God of Justice
*** [[Cephut]], God of Cutlery
*** [[Sessifet]], Goddess of the Afternoon
*** [[Sarduk]], Goddess of Caves
*** [[Bunu]], Goat-headed God of Goats
*** [[Tzut]], Snake-Headed God of the Upper Djel
*** [[Fhez]], Crocodile-Headed God of the Lower Djel
*** [[Teg]], the Horse-Headed God of Agriculture
*** [[Juf]], the Cobra-Headed God of Papyrus
*** [[Chefet]], Dog-Headed God of Metalwork
* [[Rhumusphut]] and [[Ktoffle]], disputing farmers
* [[Ptorne]], farmer with dispute against his landlord Prince [[Imtebos]]
* [[Rthur]], fresco painter
* [[Evil-Smelling-Bugger]], greatest camel mathematician of all time (and thus probably no longer alive, since You Bastard now holds the title?) (mentioned)
* [[Bloody Stupid]], camel
* [[You Vicious Brute]], camel who came up with the [[Theory of Transient Integrals]]
* [[Elenor]], from the Tsortean Wars
* [[Melycanus]], confused with [[Lavaelous]]
* [[Seriph of Al-Khali]] (mentioned)
* [[Alfonz]], pirate working for Chidder
* [[Heme Krona]], a used camel salesman, owner of [[Camels-R-Us]]
* [[Autocue]], Ephebian soldier
* [[Patricio]], former despot of [[Quirm]], client of Assassins' Guild
* [[Ice Giants]] (mentioned)
* [[Cleph-ptah-re]], briefly heir apparent to the throne of Djelibeybi

==Things and Concepts==
* Assassins' Guild classes
** [[Strategy and Poison Theory]], taught by [[Mericet]]
** [[Traps and Deadfalls]], taught by [[Grunworth Nivor]], a fat and jolly assassin, who is also the housemaster
** [[Modern Languages and Music]], taught by [[Kompt de Yoyo]], who is also a keen edificeer. This class emphasizes how the Assassins' Guild offers a good all around education.
** [[Political Expediency]], taught by Lady [[T'malia]]
* [[Cordati]], assassin manual
* [[Tlingas]], assassin weapon
* Poisons and antidotes
** [[wasp agaric]] (poison administered by ear)
** [[Achorion purple]] (poison administered by ear)
** [[Mustick]] (poison administered by ear)
** [[spime]] (antidote to some snake venoms)
** [[bloat]], poison extracted from the [[deep sea blowfish]] (singularis minutia gigantica)
* [[Wallgame]], game played by assassins, involving edificing
* [[Dr Mooner's Travelling Take Your Breath Away Emporium]], a fun house / hall of mirrors
* The [[Shuttered Palace]], a guide to sexual positions (similar to the {{wp|Kama Sutra|Kama Sutra}})
* [[A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On The End]], song
* [[Year of the Engaging Sloth]], Ankh-Morpork name for a given year
* [[Smugglers' Guild]] (mentioned)
* [[Assassins' Ball]] (mentioned)
* [[Guild of Embalmers and Allied Trades]] (mentioned)
* [[Vanglemesht]] and [[Laotation]], languages Teppic learned
* [[Seedtime]], [[Inundation]], and [[Sog]], seasons observed by river valley cultures
* [[The Book of Staying in The Pit]], which says the sun is the eye of Yay
* [[Guild of Plumbers and Dunnikindivers]] (mentioned)
* [[Little Pieces for Tiny Fingers]], book of dulcimer music
* [[Catharti Death Grip]], assassin technique
* [[Goblins Picnic]], song
* [[.303 bookworm]], fastest insect in the world
* [[Ambiguous Puzuma]], fastest animal in the world
* [[Principles of Ideal Government]], book written by Ibid
* [[Discourse on Historical Inevitability]], book written by Ibid
* [[Tsortean Wars]] (mentioned)
* [[130 Days of Pseudopolis]], a book similar to The Shuttered Palace
* [[Discworld calendar|Century of the Cobra]], current century in Djelibeybi
* [[Century of the Fruitbat]] (mentioned)

==Locations==
* [[Circle Sea]]
** [[Ankh-Morpork]]
*** [[Assassins' Guild]]
**** [[Scorpion House]]
**** [[Viper House]]
*** [[Filigree Street]]
*** [[Street of Bookkeepers]]
*** [[Audit Alley]]
*** [[YMPA|Young Men's Reformed-Cultists-of-the-Ichor-God-Bel-Shamharoth Association]] (mentioned)
*** [[Tinlid Alley]]
*** [[Haberdashers' Tower]]
*** [[Brass Bridge]]
* [[Djel]] (river)
* [[Djelibeybi]]
** [[Knot]] (mentioned)
** [[Hort]], town that receives unexpected visit from Scrab
* [[Tsort]]
* [[Ephebe]]
* Nether [[Hell]]s, where [[Orm]] is normally found (because he has too few worshipers to live at [[Dunmanifestin]]?)
* [[Ramtop Mountains]] (mentioned)
* [[Netherworld]], where dead Djelibeybi royalty presumably goes
* [[Rim Ocean]] (mentioned)
* [[Howandaland]] (mentioned)
* [[Khali]] (mentioned)
** [[Rhoxie]] (mentioned)
* [[Elharib]] (mentioned)
* [[Papylos]], island (mentioned)
* [[Crinix]], island (mentioned)
* [[Great Nef]] (mentioned)
** [[Ee]]

==Sentient Species==
*[[You Bastard|Camels]]
*[[Humans]]

==Supernatural Entities==
*[[Death]]
*[[Ghosts]]
*[[The gods|The Gods]]
*[[Sphinx|The Sphinx]]

==[[Roundworld]] Mentions==
* {{wp|Hertzsprung-Russell Diagram|Hertzsprung-Russell Diagram}}, a chart comparing stellar brightness to color

* {{wp|Marie Celeste|Marie Celeste}}

==Annotations==
The Ephebian god turning himself into a "golden shower" parodies Zeus turning himself into a "shower of gold" to impregnate {{wp|Danae|Danae}}. "{{wp|Urolagnia|Golden shower}}", on the other hand, is slang for urinating on someone for mutual sexual pleasure. This is why the expression "raised interesting questions about everyday night life in sophisticated Ephebe" in Teppic's mind.

"THIS? IT'S A SCYTHE." - Death reaps King Teppicymon's soul with a scythe, even though he normally uses a sword for kings.

Corgi pb p116: note the typo of a very minor character's name: Prince [[Imtebos]] becomes Imbetos in the same line. Doesn't matter too much, as the prince never appears again. This error may appear only in the first few print runs of the novel (1989-90) as good authority advises me it's been corrected in later editions.

A real devious link between {{M}} and {{P}} that never made the APF:

{{M}}, '''Corgi pb P247: "[the elephant] sniffed the distant dark continent of Klatch on the night breeze and, tail raised, followed the ancient call of home."'''

{{P}}, '''Corgi pb P147: "But the stables now held ... an elderly elephant whose presence was a bit of a mystery"'''

Actually confirmed by [https://groups.google.com/forum/#!searchin/alt.fan.pratchett/%22trevor$20curry%22/alt.fan.pratchett/bxoOB7db6Lw/Di7jJ4QrFNsJ Terry]

==Gallery==
<gallery mode="nolines">
File:P First.jpg|First Edition Cover by [[Josh Kirby]]
File:P Proof.jpg|Book Proof
File:P Letterbox.jpg|'Letterbox' Hardback
File:P DKS.jpg|New American Library, Cover by Daniel K. Sweet
File:P Black.jpg|Paperback 2004
File:P Tape.jpg|Audio Cassette
File:P CD.jpg|Audio CD
File:P Roc.jpg|Paperback ROC Publishing
File:P US.jpg|US Cover 2000, 2013
File:P Zoom.jpg|Paperback 2012
File:P Unseen.jpg|[[Unseen Library]] Edition
File:P CL.jpg|[[Discworld Collector’s Library]] Edition
File:P 2023.jpg|Paperback 2023
</gallery>

==External Links==
[http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/pyramids.html ''Pyramids'' Annotations - The Annotated Pratchett File]

{{series|before=Wyrd Sisters|series=Discworld|after=Guards! Guards!}}

[[Category:Discworld Series|Pyramids]]
[[de:Buch:Pyramiden]]

Book:Jingo

2026-06-04T00:28:13Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40770 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Book Data
|title=Jingo
|cover=[[File:Cover Jingo.jpg|240px|thumb|Cover art by Josh Kirby]]
|coauthors=
|illustrator=
|date=16th November 1997
|publisher=Gollancz
|isbn=9780575065406
|pages=288
|rrp=
|series=Watch Series
|characters=[[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|The Watch]], [[Havelock Vetinari]]
|annotations=Yes
|notes=
}}
==Blurb==
[[Discworld (world)|Discworld]] goes to war...

A weathercock has risen from the [[Circle Sea|sea]] of Discworld. Suddenly you can tell which way the wind is blowing. A [[Leshp|new land]] has surfaced, and so have [[Ankh-Morpork|old feuds]]. And as [[Klatch_(country)|two armies]] march, Commander Vimes of the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]] has got just a few hours to deal with a crime so big that there's no law against it. It's called "war."

He's facing unpleasant foes who are out to get him... and that's just the people on [[Ronald Rust|*his* side]]. The enemy might be worse. And his pocket Dis-organiser says he's got "Die" under "Things To Do Today". But he'd better not, because the world's cleverest inventor and its most devious politician are on their way to the battlefield with a little package that's guaranteed to stop a battle...

Discworld goes to war, with armies of sardines, warriors, fishermen, [[curious squid|squid]], and at least one very camp follower.

==Characters==
===Main Characters===
*[[71-hour Ahmed]]
*[[Angua von Überwald|Angua]]
*Prince [[Cadram]]
*[[Fred Colon]]
*[[Detritus]]
*Lt [[Hornett]]
*[[Carrot Ironfoundersson]]
*[[Cheery Littlebottom]]
*[[Nobby Nobbs]]
*[[Leonard of Quirm]]
*[[Ronald Rust|Lord Rust]]
*[[Reg Shoe]]
*[[Havelock Vetinari]]
*[[Samuel Vimes]]

===Other Characters===
*[[Greasy Arif]]
*[[Solid Jackson]]
*[[Les Jackson]]
*[[Jenkins]]
*Prince [[Khufurah]]
*[[Cumbling Michael]]
*[[Sybil Ramkin]]
*[[Lord Selachii]]
*[[Venturi|Lord Venturi]]
*[[Willikins]]

===Minor Characters===
*Mr. [[Boggis]], [[Thieves' Guild]]
*Private [[Vincent Bourke|Bourke]]
*[[Ossie Brunt]]
*Mr. [[Burleigh]], [[Armourers' Guild]]
*Mrs. [[Evadne Cake]], medium
*[[Death]]
*Constable [[Dorfl]], City Watch
*[[Downey|Lord Downey]]
*Constable [[Downspout]], City Watch
*Constable [[Flint]], City Watch
*Mr. [[Frostrip]], [[Guild of Accountants]]
*Mr. [[Goriff]], take-away shop owner
*Janil [[Goriff]], temperamental teenager
*[[Bob-Bob Hardyoyo]]
*[[Jabbar]]
*Special Constable (The) [[Librarian]], City Watch
*Constable [[Pediment]], City Watch
*[[Verity Pushpram]]
*[[Archchancellor]] [[Mustrum Ridcully]]
*Mr. [[Scoplett]], first mate
*Mr. [[Slant]], [[Guild of Lawyers]]
*[[Snowy Slopes]], killer
*Mrs. [[Spent]], landlady
*[[Stoolie]]
*Probatory Constable [[Buggy Swires]], City Watch
*Constable [[Visit-The-Infidel-With-Explanatory-Pamphlets]], City Watch
*William, aka "the Artful Nudger", gang member and reluctant Wolf Pack footballer
*Gavin, aka "Scumbag Gav", another unwilling Wolf Pack recruit
*Mr. [[Wazir]], bookshop owner

===Mentions===
*(The) [[Bursar]]
*[[Chalky]], pottery owner
*[[Done It Duncan]]
*[[Blind Hugh]]
*[[Smelly Slider]], deceased Watch informant
*[[Topless Harry]]
*[[Mr Hong|Mr. Hong]], unfortunate fish bar owner
*[[Sidney Lopsides]]
*[[Needle Ned]]
*General [[Callus Tacticus]]
*[[Stoneface Vimes]]
*Stamina Thrum, one-legged single woman living in Elm Street
*Harry Chestnuts
*[[Agony Aunts]]
*[[Denephew Boot]]

==Locations==
*[[Ankh-Morpork]]
**[[Barbican]]
**[[Blue Cat Club]] (mentioned)
**[[Bunch of Grapes]] (mentioned)
**[[Disguise and Joke Shop]] (mentioned)
**[[Money Trap Lane]]
**[[Mundane Meals]]
**[[Rats Chamber]]
**[[Sator Square]]
**[[Sheer Street]] (mentioned)
**[[Vortin|Vortin's Diamond Warehouse]]
*[[Klatch (country)|Klatch]]
**[[Al-Khali]]
**Elharib (country) (mentioned)
**[[Smale]] (mentioned)
**Tacticum
**[[Ur]] (mentioned)
*[[Leshp]]

==Things and Concepts==
*[[Army]]
*[[Blue Cat Club]]
*[[Curious squid]]
*[[Dis-Organiser]]
*[[Foot-the-ball]]
*[[Going-Under-The-Water-Safely Device]]
*[[Mary-Jane]]
*[[Prid of Ankh-Morpork]]

==Adaptations==
===[[Theatre Adaptations|Theatre]]===
Adapted by [[Stephen Briggs]] into a stage play in 2005.

==Gallery==
{|
|-
| valign="top" | [[File:J Letterbox.jpg|thumb|120px|First Edition Cover by [[Josh Kirby]]]]
| valign="top" | [[File:J Proof.jpg|thumb|120px|Book Proof]]
| valign="top" | [[File:J Black.jpg|thumb|110px|Paperback 2004]]
| valign="top" | [[File:J Tape.jpg|thumb|120px|Audio Cassette]]
| valign="top" | [[File:J CD.jpg|thumb|140px|Audio CD]]
|}
{|
|-
| valign="top" | [[File:J MS.jpg|thumb|120px|Cover by Michael Sabanosh]]
| valign="top" | [[File:J US.jpg|thumb|120px|US Cover]]
| valign="top" | [[File:J Zoom.jpg|thumb|120px|Paperback 2012]]
| valign="top" | [[File:J CL.jpg|thumb|120px|[[Discworld Collector’s Library]] Edition]]
| valign="top" | [[File:J 2023.jpg|thumb|120px|Paperback 2023]]
|}

==External Links==
[http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/jingo.html ''Jingo'' Annotations - The Annotated Pratchett File]

{{series|before=Hogfather|series=Discworld|after=The Last Continent}}
{{series|series=Watch|before=Feet of Clay|after=The Fifth Elephant}}

[[Category:Discworld Series|Jingo]]
[[Category:Watch Series|Jingo]]
[[de:Buch:Fliegende Fetzen]]

Assassins' Guild

2026-06-04T00:28:06Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40766 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{spoilersfor|''[[Book:Men at Arms|Men at Arms]]''}}
[[Image:Ass02.png|left|240px]]
Motto: ''NIL MORTIFI, SINE LVCRE''

''No killing without pay''

Also known as the 'Conlegium Sicariorum'.

This is one of the most powerful among the [[Guilds of Ankh-Morpork]]. The current head of the Assassins' Guild is [[Lord Downey]], who took over after his predecessor, [[Cruces|Dr. Cruces]], was killed by [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]] during the events of [[Book:Men at Arms|Men At Arms]]. Its Guildhall is topped with a weathervane like a silhouetted assassin poised to inhume the wind.

The traditional Assassins' hand signal is that of two fingers pressed against a thumb - the otherwise-universal sign for money. Without which, of course, assassination wouldn't take place. They do not murder indiscriminately, as that would be rank bad form. No, no, they are not common killers. They would take that most ill, should you be rash enough to suggest it. No, they are merely gentlemen who, for a consideration, may see their way clear to smoothing some of life's problems for other gentlemen. But in a highly democratic way: Their definition of gentlemen includes everyone - at least everyone with enough money to pay for the specific contract. Ths includes [[Zombies]] who want to settle the score with their murderers, and even the [[Auditors]].

Their light and airy Guild house is adjacent to the [[Fools' Guild]] house (see {{MAA}}). Their school is noted for giving one of the best educations you can have. Usually children of high-standing noble families attend the Assassins' school (although most do not study the Black Syllabus). The school's reputation even reaches into far-off countries. For example, [[71-hour Ahmed]] from [[Klatch]] admitted that he had trained at, and been licensed by, the Guild (see {{J}}), as was King [[Pteppicymon XXVIII]] of [[Djelibeybi]].

However, there is always a place for a scholarship boy, partly out of a spirit of ''noblesse oblige'', but mainly because "''any commoner showing an uncommon aptitude for the profession had better bloody well be where ''we'' can see him''." This is, after all, the way the upper classes have traditionally dealt with potentially troublesome but talented outsiders: by absorbing them into the privileged upper class, rather than risk having them outside leading a revolution. Scholarship pupils include [[Inigo Skimmer]], Professor [[Cranberry]], and possibly [[Zlorf Flannelfoot]], who rose all the way to become Guild President.

The Guild is known to hold a number of inter-house competitions within the Guild School including the [[Wilkinson Cup]].

Scholarship pupils are Assassins who are not fortunate enough to be backed by upscale families or to have an independent income, are as often as not employed by the [[Patrician]] as part of a select and shadowy body of employees known as [[Dark Clerk]]s.

The Assassins have a high moral standard, in their own terms. They scrupulously stick to the rules of their Guild. Those rules include a prohibition of killing without a contract or fee. If you did, you would be a common murderer, not an ''Assassin'' (note the capitalization).

This rule has been broken by the student Assassin [[Jonathan Teatime]] (appears in {{H}}). He seemed to kill for the mere pleasure of it, a fact that made him a dangerous criminal, even by Assassins' standards. If it were not for the events of ''Hogfather'', he may have had to be disposed of in a discreet manner by his fellows.

It is, however, worth noting the current Head Master has said 'No one became a great Assassin by always obeying the rules. Of course, no one ever became a great Assassin by disobeying the rules ''and getting caught'', either.'

Assassins should wear black, a rule that has been challenged by [[Havelock Vetinari]], while he was at the Assassins' school himself. He outdid all the others by wearing various shades of grey and green to blend better into the shadows. However, Vetinari is said to have actually ''failed'' his first attempt at the exam in Stealth and Concealment, simply because the adjudicating senior Assassin thought he hadn't bothered to turn up. Vetinari re-sat the exam, taking care to strive for something less than 100% effectiveness, and passed with a high mark. Others who wore black only were not as effective. See the Hon. [[John Bleedwell]].

Another, not widely advertised, rule says that the inhumed-to-be should be told who had sent the Assassin, and who the Assassin was. This rule was technically obeyed by the young Lord Vetinari, who inhumed Lord [[Winder]]; his vast public unpopularity and destructive behavior had Vetinari cryptically responded he was sent by "the city", perhaps as a symbolic whole.

Only two people have been taken off their scale of fees so far. No assassination contract will be accepted either for Lord Vetinari, nor for Commander [[Samuel Vimes]]. The reasons are that even the Assassins think that Vetinari alive is much less a threat than a dead Vetinari -- particularly the hypothetical inter-guild scramble in the wake of the sudden power vacuum speculated in ''Feet Of Clay'' -- as you can never be sure whether he will stay dead. As for Sam Vimes, multiple assassinations have been planned, attempted and failed. He seems to be too ingenious in outwitting and ruining every attempt, and the assassins have finally given up on him beyond as a training exercise for aspiring graduates. A third, ostensibly active but mysterious, contract is more of an embarrassment: one on Corporal "Nobby" Nobbs of the City Watch. The piddling fee and inconsequential status of Nobby suggests a guild joke of some kind, and in any case Commander Vimes would get very ''intense'' if ever the Assassins went after one of his men.

The Guild has an impressive library, known as the Dark library, where their section on famous assassinations, weaponry and the methodology of inhumation is rumoured to be greater than even that of the Library at [[Unseen University]]. The Guild also takes great pride in their history of inhumations. They maintain a long gallery of famous people the Guild has inhumed, with small silver nameplates modestly telling which assassin had the privilege of inhuming them. It is considered the highest honor for an assassin to have that small, silver nameplate discreetly placed near their famous inhumations. There is also a museum showing various artefacts that have helped certain people to an earlier grave than they had anticipated. The fabled [[gonne]] was kept here until it was stolen by [[Edward d'Eath]].

Lord Downey and Lord Vetinari were old enemies during their school years (see {{NW}}).

Most of the gentlemen, and at least one woman, from the noble family [[Selachii]] are trained and licensed Assassins.

Sam Vimes hates them with a passion. Ironically, he (thanks to his marriage to Sybil) holds the deed to the land on which the Assassins' Guild rests.

==Masters of the Guild of Assassins==

*Sir [[Gyles de Munforte]] (Founder)
*Dr Gulliaume de Chacal (First Head Master)
* [[Follett|Dr. Follett]] (in {{NW}})
* [[Zlorf Flannelfoot]] (in {{COM}})
* [[Cruces|Dr. Cruces]] (until the events of {{MAA}})
* [[Lord Downey]] (in various books since {{MAA}})

==Members of the Guild of Assassins==

Important Assassins who have been mentioned in the Discworld books include:

* Lord [[Havelock Vetinari]] Holding the Title 'Provost of Assassins' and the following degrees: DMAP, DM, DGS, MA, MPE, MASc, MIDD, BScI & DiPE (appears in various books)
* [[Pteppicymon XXVIII]] (in {{P}})
* [[71-hour Ahmed]] (in {{J}})
* [[Jonathan Teatime]] (in {{H}})
* [[Inigo Skimmer]] (in {{TFE}})
* "Professor" [[Cranberry]] (not a genuinely conferred title - in {{MM}})
* Mr [[Winvoe]], Guild Treasurer, encountered in {{H}}
* Lord [[Robert Selachii]], thwarted in {{SM}}
* Señor [[Miguel Portijo]], Selachii's co-thwartee and assistant

Other Assassins mentioned in the books, as cameos or non-speaking characters:-

* [[Grinjo]] (in {{COM}})
* [[Eustace Bassingly-Gore]]
* Sir [[Richard Liddleley]]
* Sir [[Bernard Selachii]]
* [[Urmond]] (in {{COM}})
* [[Vyrt]] (mentioned in {{P}})
* [[Remora Selachii]]
* [[Arachne]], surname unknown, a graduate with a passion for wildlife. Well, certain sorts, anyway.
* Guillaume Dire (assassinated Olerve the Bastard in {{M}}; name is given in {{AGD}})

Named student Assassins:

*[[Cheesewright]]
*[[Chidder]]
* [[Jasper Chrysoprase]]
*[[Fliemoe]]
* Arthur [[Ludorum]]
* Ludo [[Ludorum]]
* [[Snoxall]]
* [[Jocasta Wiggs]]

Former pupils who left without Taking Black:

* [[Cosmo Lavish]]
* [[Sendivoge]]
* [[Findthee Swing]]

==Guild Tutors==

Current College Tutors, as listed in [[Book:Discworld's Assassins' Guild Diary 2000|Assassins' Guild Diary]]
* Lord [[Downey]], MA (Master of Assassins, Head Tutor & Guild President)
* Mr [[Mericet]], DMAP, MA, BScI (Under Master, teaches [[Strategy and Poison Theory]])
* The Extremely Reverend Dr [[A-Pox-Upon-Their-Houses Jenkins]], DGS (Religious Studies/Guild Chaplin)
* Mr Moody, BW (Personal Grooming)
* Baron Strifenkanen, DMAP (Applied Pathology)
* [[de Yoyo|Kompt de Yoyo]], DM, DL ([[Modern Languages and Music]])
* Dr [[Von Ubersetzer]], DL (Ancient Languages)
* M. de Balourd, MIDD (Dance and Deportment)
* Mme les [[Deux-Epees]], MA, DiPE (Fencing and Edged Weapons)
* Mr Linbury-Court, MA (History)
* Mr [[Lamister]]
* Mr [[Bradlofrudd]], DiPE (Llamedos) (Physical Education)
* Miss [[Alice Band|Band]], DiPE (Climbing, Traps, Locks)
* Miss [[Smith-Rhodes]] (Domestic Science and Organic Poisons)
* Professor [[Stone]], MASc (Alchemy and Metalwork)
* Lady [[T'malia|T'Malia]], MA, MPE, BScI ([[Political Expediency]])
* Mr [[Graumunchen]], MA (Geography)
* Mr Schotter, MS (Mathematics)
* Mr [[Grunworth Nivor|Nivor]], MA, BScI (Traps & Advanced Ambush)

==Guild Staff & Servants==

The guild has a dedicated staff performing all the vital roles required by any large organisation. While not assassins themselves, they have had years of experience within the guild, and young students would be unwise to upset any of them.

* the [[Chief Armourer]] (currently vacant)
*Mr Carter, MGB - Chief Butler
*Mr [[Winvoe]], MGAU - Bursar
*Mrs Collar - Bedder
*Guild [[Doctor]] (at the time of {{P}}).
*Sister Lister, SSSHS - Matron
*Mr Robey - Scullion
*Mr Bracegirdle - Porter
*Mr [[Maroon]] - Porter
*Mr [[Stippler]] - Porter
*Mr Scummidge - deceased; Porter in [[Windle Poons]]'s youth
*Mr Bearhugger - Head Brewer
*Monsieur Insignes-Forvant, FGC - Chef
*The grandmother of [[Glenda Sugarbean]] - deceased; Chef during [[Vetinari]]'s school days
*Taster (currently vacant)
*Mr [[Wussie Staid]] - Janitor
*[[Washable Topsy]] - laundress

==School Houses==

Within the Guild, the school is broken into Houses, each with a House Tutor. A list follows of these Houses and their Heads of House:
* [[Viper House]] (Mr [[Grunworth Nivor|Nivor]])
* [[Scorpion House]] (Lady [[T'malia]])
* [[Tump House]] (Miss [[Alice Band]])
* Broken Moons House (Mr Moody)
* Raguineau's (Baron Strifenkanan)
* [[Pernypopax Dampier House]] (Professor [[Stone]])
* Cobra House (Mr [[Mericet]])
* [[Wigblock Prior]] ([[Kompt de Yoyo]])
* [[B2 House]] [day pupils] (Dr [[von Ubersetzer]])
* [[C1 House]] [day pupils] (Dr Perdore)
* [[Mykkim House]] (Mr Linbury-Court)
* [[Mrs Beddowe's House]] (M. le Balourd)
* [[Tree Frog House]] [day pupils] (Mr [[Bradlofrudd]])
* [[Black Widow House]] [girls] (Mme les [[Deux-Epées]])
* [[Welcome Soap House]] (Mr [[Graumunchen]])
* [[Raven House]] (Miss [[Smith-Rhodes]])

''"The Assassins' Guild School was created by taking a classic British public school and turning all the knobs up past eleven, especiially the one marked 'violence'"'' (Terry Pratchett, quoted in {{AOD}})

Semi-formally the houses have acquired nicknames: Crabs, Croakers, Buzzers, Seen'emalls, Loonies, Sliders, Flat'eads, Soapies, Beddiboys, Raggies, Wiggies, Rats, Scarecrows, Tumpers and Poppies. As a more recent addition the Black Widow house has yet to have a nickname enshrined by tradition. Most names it has attracted were considered unprintable in the [[Book:Discworld's Assassins' Guild Diary 2000|Assassin's Guild Diary]] however one suggestion was 'Darners' (on the basis 'they'll all end up as [[Seamstresses]] one day').

== School Uniform ==

As with educational establishments all over the Multiverse, the initial uniform handed out to pupils of eleven, twelve and thirteen is issued out of a sadistic desire to impress on the wearer exactly how lowly an insect they are in God's garden, and to instill in the wearer, entirely of his or her own volition, a desire to succeed and get to the point where the hated rags may be discarded in favour of something with at least the ''potential'' to carry a bit more style. [[Horrids]] of [[Broadway]] have the franchise to provide school uniforms and the more ''general'' sort of equipment to pupils at the [[Assassins' Guild]] School. No doubt they know where the more ''specialised'' sort of equipment may be got. At the usual Horrids sort of mark-up.

Thus we have:-

''Girls, eleven-thirteen'': the Guild School stipulates white blouse, shapeless; a black gymslip or pinafore; black wooly stockings or tights (sixty to eighty denier) sensible flat shoes without adornment, and a round black hat known as the Blonker. The Guild Crest must be visibly apparent at the right breast or lapel.

''Boys, eleven - thirteen'':- must adopt the New Bod uniform of a midnight blue frock coat and knee britches, worn with cream waistcoat and ruffled shirt along with a black tricorn hat of beaver pelt. Scholarship and Charity boys will be distinguished at all times by wearing white duck trousers as well as the white scholars' gown.

Both sexes Take Black in the third year and are allowed to wear black clothing.

==Businesses==

The Guild runs a rather specialised home insurance service: if someone breaks into a house insured by the Guild, an automatic contract is put out on their lives; houses insured by the guild display a Guild seal. One such house is the [[De Worde|De Worde's]] house as mentioned in {{TT}}. It is not clear what issues of professional courtesy and [[demarcation]] this raises with the [[Thieves' Guild]]. It might be assumed that this is regarded as an inter-Guild courtesy, if the break-in were to be carried out by unlicenced Thieves; should the Guild take out a contract on a licenced Thieves' Guild member merely because that Thief is acting in accordance with their own Guild rights and privileges, however, such a contract might be on more shaky ground. Besides, the Thieves' Guild offer their own similar insurance policies to householders - does this breach demarcation? Advertising for the insurance services offered by both Guilds, together with attached benefits, may be seen under "Insurance" in {{CAM}}. (p76).

As well as inhumations and insurance, the Guild is also known to offer bodyguarding and security consultancy services - ie, the exact opposite to inhumation. But the core business activity remains what it always was - evidenced by the [[Inhumation Bell]] ringing at least once every day. The Guild supports a large headquarters and college, and even with the profits from the sidelines and college tuitions it requires a fifty percent tax on each inhumation fee. Although the fees range from several thousand dollars to tens of thousands, there are not that many transactions.

More tenuously, it could be inferred from indirect evidence offered in {{GP}} that the Guild may also offer what on the Roundworld might be described as a ''bomb-disposal service''. Dr [[John Lawn]] states that [[Tolliver Groat]]'s egregious trousers needed to be safely disposed of in a "controlled detonation". This begs the question of which agency in the City has the technical expertise to defuse, deactivate or otherwise safely dispose of explosive devices. It can't be the Alchemists, who are good at explosions but not so hot at making things go bang in a safe fashion. While it doesn't rule out Dwarfs or the Artificiers, the thought is there that in matters of exothermic alchemy, the Assassins must be among those who can boast cutting-edge technology. And who have the expertise and talent to capitalise on dealing with these things.

For those interested in taking advantage of the Guild's core business, discreet small advertisements have been take out in {{CAM}} and possibly in the [[Ankh-Morpork Times]] which advise that requests for the Guild's professional attention be put in writing and addressed to the Guild Inhumation Office, preferably enclosing a down-payment. A ''discreet and professional service'' is promised.

==Degrees==

The following degrees are awarded by the Guild and associate guilds:
*MA Master Assassins
*MPE Master of Political Expediency
*BScI Bachelor of the Science of Inhumation
*DiHI Diploma of Homicidal Insanity
*DL Doctor of Languages
*MIDD Member of the Institute of Dance & Deportment
*DiPE Diploma in Physical Education
*MASc Master of Alchemical Science
*DMAP Doctor of Medicine & Applied Pathology
*BW Bachelor of Wig-making
*DM Doctor of Music
*MS Master of Sums
*DGS Doctor of God Studies
*SSSHS Spiteful Sisters of Seven-Handed [[Sek]]
*MGAU Member of the Guild of Accountants and Usurers
*MGB Member of the Guild of Butlers
*FGC Fellow of the Guild of Chefs

==Open Commissions==

The Guild has the following open commissions, several of which have claimed the lives of aspiring assassins, others have not been taken up, or the 'client' cannot be located:

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Client !! Fee !! Commission
|-
| The [[Hogfather]] || AM$3,000,000 || Has expired (original contract called for the inhumation to occur within 3 days) The contract was placed by the [[Auditors of Reality]]. They did not paid in coin as such, using instead blank gold discs. This challenging contract was given to [[Jonathan Teatime]]. His body was never found.

|-
| Lord [[Havelock Vetinari|Vetinari]] || AM$1,000,000 || Officially unlisted. The Patrician has now been taken off the register in recognition that his death would be damaging to the interests of both the city and the Guild. In the days when he was a viable target Lord Vetinari accepted attempts on his life with good grace, understanding that it was a necessary part of the political process. However, he also held the view that ''the dog is only allowed one bite at the apple'' and the Assassins that attempted this commission were never seen again.

|-
| [[Rincewind]] the Wizard || AM$950,000 || Though he is not a violent man, Rincewind is a born survivor. Assassins attempting this contract have [[The Lady|suffered unfortunate mishaps]]; some were hit by falling tiles, struck by lightning, or waylaid and eaten by Rincewind's [[The Luggage|traveling accessory]].

|-
| The Duke of Ankh, Sir [[Samuel Vimes]] || AM$940,000 and rising || Numerous commissions were placed upon the commander of the Watch, often by nobles such as the [[Rust]] and [[Selachii]] families. [[Eustace Bassingly-Gore]], Sir [[Richard Liddleley]] and [[Jocasta Wiggs|Wiggs Sr]] have all attempted to inhume the commander, only to find too late that he plays not by any rules, but to win. He also has a cunning and inventive mind when it comes to traps. This lesson is periodically reinforced by unpleasant but non-lethal things [[Jocasta Wiggs|which seem to happen to student Assassins]] sent on reconnaissance missions. Vimes is now officially unlisted, but he has since appealed to have this overturned.

|-
| [[Reacher Gilt]] || A very large, undisclosed sum. || This was placed by the bankers of Ankh following his actions bankrupting one of their number, and threatening the metaphorical pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Those who guard said gold do not like those who get in the way of the sun.

|-
| [[Moist von Lipwig]] || AM$100,000 || Only to be fulfilled if Moist failed in the duty of care for [[Mr Fusspot]] left to him by [[Topsy Lavish|Mrs Lavish]].

|-
| [[The Duck Man]] || AM$132,000 || It is unknown who has placed this contract, and so far all assassins have been too curious about the strange nature of the target to accept.

|-
| [[The Band With Rocks In]] (Imp y Celyn, Glod, & Lias/Cliff) || Sum never disclosed || Mentioned in {{SM}}. Contract was taken out by the [[Musicians' Guild]] but no price referred to. The Assassins' Guild decided to no longer entertain the contract, and refunded the fee.

|-
| [[Nobby Nobbs]] || AM$4.31 || Believed to have been placed as a joke by some of members of the Watch. Commander Vimes has let it be know that he 'will be upset' if this commission is carried out...

|-
| [[Foul Ole Ron]] || One groat || No assassin would dream of killing someone for such a low sum. In any case Foul Ole Ron's Smell would prevent anyone getting closer than bow-shot range.

|-
| [[Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler]] || Tuppence || Price given by one Assassin (Lord Robert Selachii) to another (his apprentice) whilst pursuing Dibbler's associates, the Band With Rocks In, in {{SM}}. The response given was "It's certainly tempting..."
|}

The highest commission earned at the time of {{H}} had been AM$750,000 - which had been a special familiy rate, including overnight guests.

== A 'brief' history of the profession and Guild ==

The profession of assassination is thought to have originated in the mountainous regions of Klatch with the [[Hashishim]], led originally by [[Creosote]], Seriph of [[Al Khali]]. Their name is derived from the large quantities of hashish they consumed which inclined them to wear beads and flared trousers (those with the later were the most deadly), apparently enjoy monotonous music and dancing to the interesting patterns of light on their knife blades. While inclined to giggle and in extreme cases fall over, they were renowned as deadly, mad killers and feared throughout Hubward Klatch. It may be their source of hasheesh dried up, as these assassins disappeared into history and eventually emerged in the more familiar form.

The school was founded by Sir Gyles and Lady [[de Murforte]] in 1511. Sir Gyles became inspired while crusading in Klatch after (socially) meeting members of the brotherhood of assassins operating there and influencing the rather ''complex'' internal politics of the contemporary Komplezianne Empire. In preparation for the completion of construction of the current Guild building, Klatchian tutors were brought in to provide relevant tuition for Ankh-Morpork's 'brighter academics and psychopaths' to prepare the faculty.

[[Cirone II|King Cirone II]] officially opened the school (then named the de Murforte School for Gentlemen Assassins) on the August 27th 1512. At that time 8 tutors were employed and the Head Master was a Doctor Guillaume de Chacal from the Academie Quirmienne, known as a strict disciplinarian and moral leader, though not an assassin.

The first influx of 72 students (known as King's Scholars in recognition of the king's financial support and bestowal of a Royal Charter upon the school) included [[Cirone III|Prince Cirone]]. Within a few years it became known as the Royal de Murforte School for Gentlemen Assassins and gained a reputation for a high standard of education. Pressure from wealthy inhabitants of Ankh-Morpork led to the admittance of 24 'Oppidans' - children of citizens. Nowadays the number of Oppidans accepted has increased to 180 and the Guild also accepts scholarship students (whose number decreases over the course of the term). Initially students were housed in dormitories within the guild or nearby houses, leading to the current houses C1 and B2 based on the architect's plans and Mrs Beddowe's House. As numbers increased more students were boarded off-site in the houses of 'dames'.

In 1572 the school was granted Guild status, becoming the Royal Guild of Assassins and gaining voting rights in the Guild Council. Following [[1688]] it became known simply as the Guild of Assassins due to recent events.

In 1767, the freehold of the Guild premises passed into the hands of Sir John 'Mad Jack' [[Ramkin]] following a card game with the head of the Guild. It has remained the property of the Ramkin family until recently when in [[1986 UC]] it was included in the properties deeded to [[Sam Vimes|Commander Vimes]] upon his marriage to [[Lady Sybil Ramkin]].

As the Century of the Anchovy commences, female students have started being admitted to the guild. Girls have previously studied at the Guild, however had to rely on a short haircut and forged note from their parents excusing them from doing sports (see Mme les [[Deux-Epées]]). This has led to the formation of the Black Widow house. Another recent development is the admittance of a Troll, Jasper 'James' [[Chrysoprase]].

==Annotation==

There is a continuity error here, or perhaps information is yet to be released, concerning the all-female Houses at the Assassins' Guild school.

The '''''{{AGD}}''''' and the '''''{{NDC}}''''' agree on the Houses of study, and on their housemasters/mistresses, as given above. These can be taken to be a consensus reality. However, in his notes to Kidby's artwork in '''''The Art of Discworld''''', Terry is very specific that there is also a Mantis House, newly established for female pupils, which has [[Alice Band]] as its resident Housemistress.

Naming a house after a female insect which kills and eats its mate would make sense in this context, especially as a replacement for the rather prosaic [[Tump House]] (apparently named after a district of the city, which was rather disappointing). But "Mantis House" is named only once, whereas Tump House gets several referents. There are, as yet, few women on the Guild faculty, so possibly Miss Band's assignment as housemistress was changed when Mantis House opened, and another faculty member now oversees Tump House.

[[Category:Guilds]]
[[Category:Ankh-Morpork Businesses]]
[[de:Assassinengilde]]

Moist von Lipwig

2026-06-04T00:27:58Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40768 by Abcdefabric (talk)

{{Character Data
|title= Moist von Lipwig|.
|photo= Blank.jpg
|name= Moist von Lipwig
|age= Born in Überwald 1965
|race= [[Humans|Human]]
|occupation= [[Ankh-Morpork Post Office|Postmaster General]], Chairman of the [[Grand Trunk Semaphore Company]], [[Master of the Royal Mint]]
|appearance= Six foot two, brown-blond hair, average and nondescript.
|residence= Now owner of a property on [[Scoone Avenue]], [[Ankh-Morpork]]
|death= Hanged under the name of Albert Spangler, still not dead
|parents= both dead
|relatives= grandfather who raised him.
|children= none
|marital status= Now married to Adora Belle Dearheart.
|books= {{GP}}, {{MM}} and {{RS}}
|cameos= {{T!}}
}}

Swindler, con artist and fraud wanted dead in several cities, and currently Postmaster General and Master of the Royal Mint of [[Ankh-Morpork]]. Smitten with [[Adora Belle Dearheart]], whom he calls "[[Spike]]". After a tough apprenticeship as her fiancé (note that it was not the other way around), they are, as of {{RS}}, married and resident in a property on upmarket Scoone Avenue, where they employ a domestic staff. He revived the [[Ankh-Morpork Post Office|postal service]] in Ankh-Morpork, inadvertently challenging the [[clacks]] [[Grand Trunk|company]], which was stolen from Adora Belle Dearheart's family by a still much bigger fraudster, [[Reacher Gilt]].

Moist was entrusted with the running of the clacks company after it was ascertained that Reacher Gilt and his gang of financial cronies had obtained the company by illegal means. Once the post office and the clacks was back in shape, Moist rescued the fortunes of the Royal Bank and the Royal Mint.

He is of a nondescript appearance, leading people who see him to look through him without noticing anything prominent or memorable about him. This proved a valuable asset in his previous profession (for avoiding angry mobs) however this advantage is now negated by his big shiny golden suit that makes him instantly recognizable, at least while wearing it. He consoles himself with the fact that it's the suit that people recognize, rather than him. Moist turns this to his advantage: if he really wants to go incognito, he can just change into the shabby old grey suit that [[Albert Spangler]] was executed in. The effect is rather like that of Clark Kent emerging unremarked from a nondescript telephone box - as Superman also knew, people never really '''''look''''', or make connections from what they see.

As of ''Making Money'' and his confessions of his criminal past in open court, it may be that going incognito is far more difficult, and that he may very well become one of Ankh-Morpork's most recognizable citizens, much to his chagrin.

In {{GP}} Moist was temporarily linked to the consciousness of the collective letters of the Post office after he delivered one of them and was officially made the Postmaster by the post guild. The consciousness was aware of Moist's shady past but were by that point willing to take anyone as Postmaster so they could be delivered. The link was painfully severed when the Post Office was burnt down: it nearly killed Moist in the process, as Adora noted. He went deathly pale when the consciousness started screaming in his mind.

A definite crowd pleaser, he uses his general likableness to further his aims. Lord [[Vetinari]] seems to hold him in high regard; he appears to be one of his lordship's favourite pawns.

Moist's exploits, recounted in ''Going Postal'', include resumption of the post, in Ankh-Morpork as well as surrounding areas such as [[Sto Lat]] and [[Pseudopolis]]; the invention of "stamps"; and the liberation of the Grand Trunk from Reacher Gilt and his henchmen. In ''Thud!'' Vimes mentions (angrily, of course) that 'that idiot at the Post Office' has brought out a [[Koom Valley]] stamp, or rather two: you can choose between the dwarves ambushing the trolls or the trolls ambushing the dwarves.

The invention of stamps eventually leads to their use by the populace of Ankh-Morpork as a sort of paper currency, prompting Vetinari's need to transfer Moist to overhaul the Royal Mint and by extension, the banking system. As [[Master of the Royal Mint]], his new hat of office is a threadbare, worn-out, top hat in worn-through black felt. However, Moist makes a visit to the [[Boffo Novelty and Joke Shop|Boffo]] emporium on [[Tenth Egg Street]] and buys glue and golden glitter for a necessary improvement in keeping with his public image, and so that the hat does not clash with the golden suit. His experiment with the creation of stamps leads him to a wider usage of paper with the creation and use of the revolutionary [[Paper Money]].

It is tempting to note here that as Master of the Mint, Moist is effectively playing [[Exclusive Possession]] with two of the standard six game tokens: the Hat and the [[Mr Fusspot|Dog]]. If you stretch a point, he also has the services of the [[Golem]] [[Gladys]], who '''''irons''''' his trousers just by smoothing them against a wall, instead of using the iron in the postmen's locker room; and the coach motif recurs throughout the book (taking the place of the car/train token - although the coach invariably belongs to another player with an agenda of their own, except for when Moist briefly rides the mail coach at the start of the race). Moist also receives, along with the Dog, the promise of $AM20,000 for passing "Go!" right at the start of the game, due to the bequest in Topsy Lavish's will. And the "Go To Jail" penalty certainly applies to Moist's visits to the [[Tanty]]... (To follow this metaphor more closely, [[Exclusive Possession|see here]].) The game of Exclusive Possession resumes in {{RS}} which updates the board to add not only a train but the stations.

Although he has recently taken a (rather spectacular) turn toward public service, Moist is still very much in possession of the mind of a criminal, as [[Vetinari]] notes happily. He is addicted to the rush, and is never happier than when he is making things up on the fly; almost all of his solutions to the many problems he faces are the result of winging it. When oppressed by the legitimate (and boring) responsibilities of his position(s), Moist has been known to go to increasingly desperate resorts to feed his need for danger, such as taking up [[Edificeering]] and [[Extreme Sneezing]] as leisure pursuits. Breaking into his own office, when the penalty for getting it wrong is rough justice from vigilante-minded citizens, is just a part of this syndrome, as is his continued pilfering of [[Drumknott]]'s pencils. Notably, he is much less prone to this behaviour when [[Adora Belle Dearheart]] is around, leading to the inevitable conclusion that he finds her dangerous enough that he doesn't need to engage in other crazy stunts. She finds this rather romantic. He has since discovered the joys of train-surfing, and an even ''more'' dangerous sport involves wining and dining clients at the [[Pink PussyCat Club]], involving the insertion of banknotes into items of underwear. So far, Adora Belle is not aware of this.

In "[[Book:Raising Steam|Raising Steam]]", it is revealed that Moist and Adora Belle have since gotten married and are now living in a mansion on [[Scoone Avenue]], in [[Ankh]], (the same neighbourhood where the Duke and Duchess of Ankh, [[Sam Vimes|Sam]] and [[Sybil Ramkin|Sybil Vimes]], live). Whilst Moist continues to run both the Royal Ankh-Morpork Post Office and the Royal Mint and Bank, Adora Belle runs the Clacks and has made it an equal opportunities employer, also hiring [[Golems]] and [[Goblins]].

==Aliases==
* Ethel Snake
* Mr Robinson
* [[Albert Spangler]]
* [[Albert Spangler|Alfred Spangler]]
* Mundo Smith
* Edwin Streep
* [[Mr Trespass Hatchcock]]
* Jeff the Drover

==Annotation==
Moist von Lipwig. Lip wig = "Moist of the false moustache": the master of disguise!

Moist also does self-designed ''ear wigs''. These are designed to draw attention to themselves - say if the mark is trying to explain things to the Watch afterwards about the gentleman with the steady gaze and the firm handshake and the hair growing out of his ears, the one who convinced me that Vetinari had entrusted him with the right to sell the Brass Bridge - all he will be able to describe with any certainty is the eye-catching undergrowth in both ear-holes. Oh, and he might have had a moustache, too...

It is possible that the Patrician is secretly grooming Moist to be his successor.

The inspiration for Moist could have come from [[wikipedia:Victor Lustig|Victor Lustig]] (January 4, 1890 – March 11, 1947) - a con-artist who worked throughout Europe and America, known for selling the Eiffel Tower for scrap - twice, and selling several 'Money Boxes' supposedly capable of duplicating banknotes. The inspiration for Moist could also have come from [[wikipedia:Ferdinand Waldo Demara|Ferdinand Waldo Demara]], known as "the Great Impostor", masqueraded as many people from monks to surgeons to prison wardens.

One real-life Moist von Lipwig was [[wikipedia:Rowland Hill|Rowland Hill]]. Not actually a reformed criminal by any means, he did create the entire idea of the modern postal system, including Uniform Penny Post and stamps (Although he didn't come up with perforations). He also created the Post Office Savings Bank, an institution which allowed poorer people to save money for the first time, since the larger banks did not want to do business with them. Incidentally, the first stamp created, the Penny Black, features a black and white portrait of Queen Victoria, and many 'clever' jokes were made about licking Vickey's backside.

==Trivia==
* Given Adora's appearance, demeanour and, especially, clouds of tobacco smoke, suggest to [[Anghammarad|some]] that she may be an avatar of the goddess [[Anoia]] (and [[Lela]] before her). This would put Moist in an odd relationship with both the goddess and her worldly manifestation, although he was, himself, the avatar of [[Fedecks]], messenger of the gods, during the events of ''Going Postal'', as a result of the link to the consciousness of the collective letters of the Post office.

[[Category: Discworld characters|Lipwig, Moist von]]
[[Category: Leading characters|Lipwig, Moist von]]
[[Category: Human characters|Lipwig, Moist von]]
[[Category: Making Money|Lipwig, Moist von]]
[[de:Feucht von Lipwig]]

Samuel Vimes

2026-06-04T00:27:53Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40765 by Abcdefabric (talk)

Vimes Family Motto: ''PROTEGO ET SERVIO''

''I protect and serve''
{{Character Data
|title= Vimes
|photo= Vimes_Duck_Blanket.jpg | Sam Vimes by [https://ko-fi.com/i/IS6S0AFK7N Tealin]
|name= Sir Samuel Vimes, Duke of [[Ankh (city)|Ankh]]
|age= 50+ In [[Thud!]]
|race= [[Humans|Human]]
|occupation= Commander of the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]] (Badge No.177)
|appearance= Skinny, balding and unshaven
|residence= Ramkin Residence, [[Scoone Avenue]], [[Ankh (city)|Ankh]]
|death=
|parents= [[Thomas Vimes]] (father) [[Mrs. Vimes]] (mother)
|relatives= [[Gwilliam Vimes]] (paternal grandfather) [[Grandma Clamp]] (maternal grandmother). [["Old Stoneface" Vimes]] (AKA "Suffer Not Injustice" Vimes)
|children= [[Young Sam Vimes]]
|marital status= Married to Lady [[Sybil Ramkin]]. A previous girlfriend, alluded to in passing in {{T!}}, is [[Mavis Trouncer]].
|books= {{G!G!}} {{MAA}} {{FOC}} {{J}} {{T5E}} {{NW}} {{MR}} {{T!}} ''[[Book:Where's My Cow?|Where's My Cow?]] [[Book:Snuff|Snuff]] {{RS}} [[Discworld Noir]]''
|cameos= {{TT}} {{GP}} {{MM}} {{UA}} {{ISWM}}
}}

'''Samuel "Sam" Vimes''' is the Commander of the [[Ankh-Morpork]] [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]]. He is the central character of the [[Watch Series]], in which he rises from being a poor and often-drunk policeman to being the leader of a modern police force.

During his first appearance in {{G!G!}}, he is the Captain of the (useless) Night Watch. He is promoted to being the Commander of a reunified City Watch at the end of its sequel {{MAA}}, and presides over the Watch's transformation into a modern police force. Through his detective work and adventures he saves the city and many people's lives on multiple occasions. He is often referred to as the second-most powerful man in the city after [[Havelock Vetinari|Lord Vetinari]]. As a result of his reputation, the word ''[[Sammies]]'' has become a nickname for watchmen trained in Ankh-Morpork.

Despite his distaste for nobility, he becomes a Duke and an ambassador. His current full title is ''His Grace, His Excellency, The Duke of [[Ankh (city)|Ankh]]; Commander Sir Samuel Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch''. He is married to [[Lady Sybil Ramkin]], the wealthiest woman in the city, and they have a son [[Young Sam Vimes|Samuel "Young Sam" Vimes II]].

== Biography ==
Samuel Vimes was born in [[Cockbill Street]], [[the Shades]], [[Ankh-Morpork]] into a poor family. Through his father Thomas, he is a descendant of [["Stoneface" Vimes|Suffer-Not-Injustice "Stoneface" Vimes]], who overthrew the [[Monarchy|monarchy]] in Ankh-Morpork centuries earlier, killed [[Lorenzo the Kind|its last king]], and ruled the city briefly before being overthrown himself. The Vimes family, until then a noble family, were disgraced and lived in poverty for many generations after. In his later life Sam is often compared to his ancestor, in both his personality and his appearance.

He went to the local school, where he was taught by Dame [[Slightly]] for 9 months and became blackboard monitor. After that, he spent some time in street gangs, including the [[Cockbill Street Roaring Lads]]. At the age of 16, he enlisted in the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|Night Watch]], because his mate, Iffy Scurrick, had joined the year before and told him that there was "free food and a uniform and you could pick up the extra dollar here and there". Vimes joined the Night Watch shortly before the birth of the Glorious [[People's Republic of Treacle Mine Road]] during the [[Glorious Revolution|Glorious Revolution]]. In the original timeline, Vimes was mentored by Sergeant [[John Keel]]. Keel taught Vimes several important lessons, such stopping him from taking bribes at a time when such behaviour was widespread in the Watch. Keel took charge of the rebellion and was killed. In {{NW}}, the timeline was altered and his future self ended up impersonating John Keel for the duration of the Revolution, teaching him the same lessons instead.

Little is known about what happens between then and {{G!G!}}. Vimes became more street-smart, particularly after learning to fight with any means necessary by [[Gussie Two-Grins]]. However, the Watch declined in importance during this time, particularly after [[Havelock Vetinari|Lord Vetinari]] legalised the [[Thieves Guild]]. The Guild proved to be a better regulator of crime than the Watch. The Night Watch were reduced to patrolling the streets, ringing their bells at night and half-heartedly chasing criminals. During this time, Vimes became an {{wp|alcoholism|alcoholic}} (although as he was poor, he considered himself to be "a drunk", not an alcoholic).

By the start of {{G!G!}}, Vimes has become a Captain of a Night Watch that had dwindled to just four people: himself, Sergeant [[Fred Colon|Colon]], Corporal [[Nobby Nobbs|Nobbs]] and the new recruit [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]]. Around this time, Colon claims that Vimes never advanced further because he was "Brung Low by a Woman" (if so, then her name is [[Morporkia|Ankh Morporkia]]), although Vimes himself attributes it to his irreverent habit of speaking his mind to authority figures. But the events of this novel mark the turning point for the Watch and Vimes's career. The Watch showed their worth by stopping a [[Noble dragon|dragon]] from taking over the city. Vimes also began a romantic relationship with [[Lady Sybil Ramkin]], one of the wealthiest women in the city.

From then on, the Watch began to grow again. In {{MAA}}, Vimes and the Watch thwart another attempt to take over the city. As a reward, the Night Watch and Day Watch are merged into a unified City Watch and Vimes is promoted to the post of Commander, as well as being given the somewhat unwanted title of Knight. He also marries Sybil and kicks his drinking habit.

Vimes and the City Watch go on to save the city and multiple lives, including a plot by golems and a vampire in {{FOC}} and a threat of war with Klatch in {{J}}. For this, Vimes is awarded with yet another unwanted nobility title: Duke of Ankh. Later adventures include a journey to [[Überwald]] in {{T5E}}, a journey back to the days of the Glorious Revolution in {{NW}}, making peace between dwarfs and trolls in {{T!}} and busting a goblin slavery network in {{SN}}. His son [[Young Sam Vimes|Samuel "Young Sam" Vimes II]] was born at the end of {{NW}}.

===Ranks and titles===
Vimes's ranks and titles rise over the course of the series:
*Lance-Constable Samuel Vimes ({{NW}}, his younger self)
*Captain Samuel Vimes of the Night Watch ({{G!G!}} until the end of {{MAA}})
*Commander Sir Samuel Vimes of the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]] (the end of {{MAA}} until the end of {{J}})
*His Grace, The Duke of [[Ankh (city)|Ankh]]; Commander Sir Samuel Vimes of the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]] (the end of {{J}} until {{T5E}})
*His Grace, His Excellency, The Duke of [[Ankh (city)|Ankh]]; Commander Sir Samuel Vimes of the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]] ({{T5E}} to present)
This is not the full list; he almost certainly had others during his early Watch career, and he had none prior to joining the Watch.

==Characteristics==
Sam Vimes is by nature an extremely cynical person. He has few good opinions on people in general, and even fewer on the nobility, the guilds, [[Vetinari]], [[vampires]], the city of [[Ankh-Morpork]], monarchy, democracy, [[Ankh-Morpork Times|newspapers]]...and the list goes on. In short, nearly everyone and everything is subject to his distrust. His first impression upon meeting someone is that they're guilty of some crime - 'the possibility that they were not guilty of anything he didn't think worthy of consideration' ([[Jingo]]) - though in a city such as Ankh-Morpork, this is more or less true.

Equally, he is known to be an angry person. His sheer, incandescent rage is barely suppressed by his desire to be lawful and administer justice properly (and also in a way, to not follow in Stoneface's steps). Due to his authority in {{MAA}}, when he finds himself in possession of the [[Gonne]], he struggles between his sense of justice and the Gonne's twisted desire to use him to kill in the name of justice. He can barely restrain himself from the Gonne's temptations. In {{T!}}, he nearly gives in entirely to those of the [[Summoning Dark]]. In the latter case, you have to consider that a [[Helmclever|dwarf]] stirs deliberately his anger, and the [[Dark Guards]] attempt later to assassinate not only Vimes, but also his wife and his fourteen-months-old son, using flamethrowers. On one side, there is Vimes, however rough and pessimistic he may seem, defender of law and order, and the other side is a Vimes who would kill for revenge and make his own law.

In {{T!}}, after years of nighttime patrols, Vimes's mindscape is described as the city of [[Ankh-Morpork]], streets and all, in the dead of night, with the rains bucketing down over your head. When Vimes is angry, doors of some of the houses (the more angry he is, the more doors) will open. When the [[Summoning Dark]] trespasses into his mind, needing a host in order to track down the [[Deep-Downers]], it tries to enter through one of the doors that opens when Vimes becomes angry, only to be pulled away at every time. It is later revealed that the force preventing the [[Summoning Dark]] from making any progress in possessing Vimes is Vimes's own 'inner guardsman'.

His chronic alcoholism may be partially due to his natural state of extreme sobriety, known as being [[knurd]]. According to Vimes's long-time close friend and fellow officer [[Fred Colon]], it is because that every other normal person is naturally slightly drunk to some extent to conceal the true horrors of reality from them. However Vimes lacks the ability to produce his 'own alcohol', as it were. Vimes used to attempt to cure this by drinking heavily; unfortunately he often over-dosed himself, and became an alcoholic. After marrying Lady [[Sybil Ramkin]], he quit drinking and smoked cigars instead. In {{FOC}}, he still has the habit to reach in stress situations for the bottom desk drawer, where his bottle used to be. But he'd never bought a bottle since he got married, and Carrot and Fred Colon keep an eye on him, as well. As of ''[[Book:Snuff|Snuff]]'', even his smoking has been barred from the house (likely for Young Sam's sake), and he sates his cravings with non-alcoholic mixers whipped up by [[Willikins]].

Another reason for Vimes's past alcoholism may be his history; Vimes has been on the Watch since his late teens. He has lived through the successive regimes of Homicidal Lord [[Winder]] and [[Mad Lord Snapcase]], two patricians whose sobriquets more than adequately describe their tenures, as well as several wars, and the legalization of the Guilds under Vetinari, which more or less broke his spirit. His participation as a young copper in handing people to the [[Cable Street Particulars|Unmentionables]] has surely left him also with a deep feeling of guilt and shame, after witnessing the results in their headquarters.

Vimes is a firm believer in the institution of law. He has a soft spot for the poor and those otherwise unable to fend for themselves, as although he views them as equally able to commit crimes as any other demographic; he sees law as a great equalizer, regardless of race (however despite his acceptance of just about any species into the Watch, until he was forced to in [[Thud!]] he refused to have a [[vampire]].)

As Vimes's long-time close friend [[Fred Colon|Sgt. Colon]] puts it, Vimes could get drunk in better style, Vimes could be baffled about a case with better vocabulary, and Vimes could deal with the paperwork. To himself, Samuel Vimes is a not very intelligent man with a sordid personal history that he'd rather forget. To many others he is, somehow, the person to look up to. [[Carrot Ironfoundersson|Captain Carrot]] quotes Vimes's ideas about social justice, and tries to make them a reality. [[Lady Sybil Ramkin]], Vimes's wife, thinks that he can sort out anything. The new policemen trained in the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]] and then hired elsewhere, though they haven't seen Vimes in person much, are called ''[[Sammies]]'' (perhaps a nod to the "bobbies," so-called because of Sir Robert Peel).

Vimes is far from being perfect, and he knows the fact better than anyone. In addition to former alcoholism, Vimes has many prejudices. He hates many kinds of people and many things, and he has quite good reasons to. He hates the upper class because they look down on the rest of the society while exploiting it (e.g. charging high rent from the poor people living in slum properties).

He hates [[dwarfs]] and [[trolls]], but he has stated that he doesn't care that much for humans either so he can't be blamed. He hates [[zombies]], [[werewolves]] and [[vampires]]; for unashamedly discriminative reasons, among them being that they cannot be killed if police duty necessitates that Vimes should fight them, and he believes that vampires naturally or reflexively prey upon people, as well as often being rich and snobby.

He hates dishonest policemen. He accepts that a publican may offer a free pint or a meal to an officer just because having an officer on the premises at rush hour makes things go more smoothly is just a way of doing business, but draws the line at an officer taking money to look the other way. He also sacks, and may even prosecute, officers who abuse prisoners or participate in crimes. In his view, the law must apply to everyone, or it applies to noone. That was why, in Jingo, he reluctantly agreed to arrest Lord Vetinari.

He hates [[Assassins' Guild|Assassins]] and [[Thieves' Guild|Thieves]] because their crimes are legalized and he cannot arrest them, and their leaders are even city dignitaries now. He hates [[Alchemists' Guild|Alchemists]] because they blow things up.

Just about the only kind of people that he doesn't hate are gargoyles, who never commit crimes that anybody finds out about, and the [[wizard's magic|wizards]]; they may mess up the space-time continuum and destroy the universe, but such offenses seldom fall within Vimes's jurisdiction. Vimes has a complicated love-hate relationshop with the city of [[Ankh-Morpork]], equating it to a woman who treats you badly, but you can't help but go back to her. It has been said that he protects the city just as he protects the dwarfs and trolls, so that he can go on hating them. In truth, Vimes has seen too many bad things in his line of work, and now finds it difficult to have a good opinion of anything in general; he is far too cynical (and yet depressingly sometimes not cynical enough). He doesn't have too much animosity for the Seamstresses Guild, since the Agony Aunts handle any excesses by customers, and the Houses themselves make sure that a customer will not end up beaten, naked, and penniless in the streets, "unless his tastes run that way."

In {{J}}, Vimes finds himself in a difficult and tense situation where he is holding the [[Klatch|Klatchian]] Prince [[Cadram]] at bowpoint, and is prepared to kill him because (tenuous) evidence links him to a conspiracy to kill Prince [[Khufurah]], but there is no court which would try the case. He is saved by the arrival of [[Vetinari]], who defuses the situation.

According to [[Detritus]], when Vimes found a child-killer who has kept a "''memento''" of his deed, it was all the troll could do to prevent him from killing the perpetrator. This all comes to light during the events of {{T!}} where Vimes' internal Watchman - which describes itself as existing to keep the darkness in rather than keeping it out- battles with the [[Mine sign|Summoning Dark]] for supremacy of his soul and is ultimately victorious in dispelling the evil entity from its attempts to use Vimes to kill for it. This can be illustrated by the fact that when asked 'quis custodies ipsos custodes' ('Who watches the watchmen?') Vimes's immediate reaction is 'Me'. When asked who guards him, he replies, 'I do that too.'

He is capable of accepting specific individuals. He has married Lady Sybil and certainly loves her. He accepts members of ethnic minorities in his Watch, has personally trained some of them, and is quite proud of them. He promotes Watch officers according to merit and ability, regardless of gender, species, or seniority. He also has a soft spot for the poor, the working class, or the young. When he finds younger Assassins failing their attempts on him, for example, he lets them go with only minor wounds; older Assassins, on the other hand, have been known to be [[Richard Liddleley|painted and tied up left in public]], or even [[Eustace Bassingly-Gore|chained up and sent on a sea voyage]] all the way to the other end of [[Klatch (continent)|Klatch]]. To put it very simply, he tries to look after those who have nobody else looking after them.

In attempting to carry out justice, Vimes has arrested sons of Ankh-Morpork nobles as well as city dignitaries, all the way up to [[Lord Vetinari]]. This has put Vimes high on the hit list of the Assassins at a price of $AM20,000 in {{FOC}} rising to $AM600,000 after 9 failed attempts at the time of {{T5E}}; recently, however, he has been taken off the register, and the Guild of Assassins no longer accepts contracts on his life. This may be because he is somehow vital to the running of the city, as [[Havelock Vetinari|Lord Vetinari]] is, or it may be because no sensible Assassin will volunteer for the task anyway. Vimes has personally designed and installed many traps and deadfalls all around the Ramkin family home and the Watch headquarters at [[Pseudopolis Yard]]. So far, Vimes hasn't been even injured by any Assassin. The Assassins Guild now has some of its trainees conduct "''dry run''" assassination attempts on Vimes as a matter of testing the trainee's skills - particularly if they feel the need to [[Jocasta Wiggs|bring the trainee's ego back down to the Disc]] (see {{NW}}).

He is also fiercely anti-authority, possibly a facet of his character which he inherited from Old Stoneface. That he manages this whilst actually being authority is, as [[Lord Vetinari]] put it, "''practically zen''." He regards being the Duke of Ankh as a job title and always prefers "Commander" or "sir" to any of his other titles, which include "''His Grace''," "''His Excellency''" and "''his blackboard-monitorship''" ({{T5E}} and {{T!}}). Continuing to call him by any of these titles after he's explained his preferences is an excellent way to get in His Grace His Excellency's bad graces.

Sam Vimes's full title of record is "''His Grace, His Excellency, the Duke of Ankh, Commander Sir Samuel Vimes''." His "Blackboard Monitor" epithet is used like a title in ''[[Book:Snuff|Snuff]]'', implying it may actually have been accorded some official weight by the Low King of the dwarfs. Ironically, the one title Vimes holds with genuine pride (as of ''[[Book:Snuff|Snuff]]''), aside from Commander, is "King" .. as in, "King of the River", an honorarium awarded in recognition of his role in saving the riverboat ''Wonderful Fanny'' from piracy and flood.

Members of the Watch earn the privilege, and it is a privilege, of calling him "''Mister Vimes''" only after very long association (i.e. [[Nobby Nobbs]] or [[Fred Colon]]), or after watching his back in a street fight to the extent that they have demonstrably saved his life ([[A.E. Pessimal]]). He does not tolerate the "''Mister''" from outsiders. [[Fred Colon]] sometimes calls him by his first name when he's worried. He has inherited his ancestor's nickname "''Old Stoneface''," but this is never said to his face.

==Activities and Duties==
As other noblemen might ride horses, wear laces, ruffles, and plumes, Sam Vimes walks the city on endless patrols and wears his old battered Watch armor and leather shirt and jerkin, with the standard sword and truncheon.

Since becoming the Commander of the Watch and as such a popular target with the clients of the [[Assassins' Guild]], Vimes also started the exercise of personally engineering pitfalls and death traps around his house and outside of his office at the police headquarters.

As Commander and top officer of the Watch, Vimes' job is to oversee its operations and has to deal with a lot of paperwork, a job which he hates but accomplishes adequately. He still tries to go on patrol whenever he has a chance; to him, walking the quiet streets in the dark is a calming, almost relaxing activity. When there is an important occasion on which crime is anticipated, for example, that a foreign dignitary may be attacked during a public appearance (in {{J}}), Vimes likes to personally check suspicious places such as an abandoned building that an assassin might use.

Deduction is not Vimes' favorite activity; he distrusts clues and loathes mysteries (''"mysteries get you killed"''), and he now has the [[Cable Street Particulars]] to deal with peculiar crimes, but sometimes Vimes still personally investigates a case. When he witnesses a crime occurring, he abandons everything and chases the miscreant. It is possible that he uses police work to escape the social life of "Sir Samuel Vimes, Duke of Ankh".

As both urged by Lady Sybil and ordered by Lord Vetinari, Vimes now often has to appear at dinners and parties. Most of the nobles and government officials that he sees at such social occasions, he considers stupid or obnoxious. Should he be accosted by one of these people, he does not hesitate to make clear how and why he loathes them. Vetinari likes to use Vimes as a diplomat, and while more often than not Vimes is the cause of diplomatic incidents, these seem often the intention of Vetinari.

The former Lord Ramkin, Lady Sybil's late father, had always had servants to shave him, to lay out his bath, to scrub his back, to lay out his clothes, to clean his shiny boots, and so on. Vimes now allows the butler to lay out his clothes, but that is about all. He insists on shaving himself as he dislikes other people putting a [[razor blade]], (or indeed any sort of sharp edge) to his throat, and attempts to wear cheap boots with cardboard soles. He has been walking the city in such boots for decades, and he likes being able to feel the different types of cobblestones so that he can tell which street he is on. Besides watch armour, Vimes has some gentleman's suits, a dress uniform of the Watch Commander, and a dress uniform of the Duke. He is often required to wear the ducal dress uniform, which has ruby tights (''"you wouldn't wear tights to battle if you thought you would be taken prisoner"''), a spiky coronet, a gilt armour (''"toy armour"''), and no place to hang his sword (''"you got made a duke for fighting and then they gave you no sword to fight with"''). Vimes compromises by wearing the Watch Commander dress uniform.

Nowadays, Vimes has to eat fancy food as cooked in the Ramkins' house. Personally, he prefers simple, greasy food with burnt crunchy bits, and so he is happier when he eats things that Lady Sybil has personally cooked by a dragon's fire.

Upon becoming a father, Vimes swore to faithfully get home by 6 p.m. every evening to read a certain picture book called ''[[Book:Where's My Cow?|Where's My Cow?]]'' to his son, Young Sam. This has become such a point of pride that he now has nightmares about not being home by 6 p.m. There is absolutely nothing that takes precedence over this; Vimes believes that if he misses it even once for a good reason, the next time he might miss it for a bad one, and eventually this attitude might spill over into the rest of his life. By the time of ''Snuff'', Young Sam has become the reader and Vimes Senior, the listener, but their 6 p.m. reading sessions continue like clockwork.

His son's welfare is one of the few things Vimes is willing to cross even his wife about, such that he insisted that they hire a nursemaid, Purity, to attend to Young Sam over Sybil's objections. Presumably this is also why the protective flame-baffles between the Vimes residence and Sybil's dragon stables are much, much sturdier in ''Thud!'' than in previous books.

==Adaptations==
Vimes has been portrayed by several actors, mostly in [[Radio Adaptations|audio media]]:
* British actor [[wikipedia:John Wood|John Wood]] plays Vimes in the 1992 BBC Radio adaptation of {{G!G!}}.
* Vimes appears in a few brief scenes in the 1999 videogame ''[[Discworld Noir]]'', played by either Rob Brydon, Nigel Planer, Robert Llewllyn, or sound designer Rob Lord who provided some additional voices for the game. (Some sources claim this Vimes is an uncredited cameo by [[Terry Pratchett]], but it doesn’t sound much like him.)
* Doug Kaye played Vimes in the [[wikipedia:Atlanta Radio Theatre Company|Atlanta Radio Theatre]] live performance of {{G!G!}} at [[wikipedia:DragonCon|Dragon*Con]] in 2001.
* [[wikipedia:Philip Jackson (actor)|Philip Jackson]], best known for playing a villain in the ''[[wikipedia:Robin of Sherwood (TV series)|Robin of Sherwood]]'' TV series, provides the voice for Vimes in the 2008 BBC Radio adaptation of {{NW}}.
* Actor and audiobook narrator [[wikipedia:Toby Longworth|Toby Longworth]] plays Vimes (in a larger role than in the original book) in the 2018 Audible adaptation of {{UA}}.
* [[wikipedia:Richard Dormer|Richard Dormer]] (''[[wikipedia:Fortitude (TV series)|Fortitude]]'', ''[[wikipedia:Game of Thrones|Game of Thrones]]'') plays a version of Vimes based loosely on his portrayal in {{G!G!}} in the 2020 BBC America TV series ''[[TV and Film:The Watch|The Watch]]''.

==Also See==
* [[wikipedia:Sam Vimes|Samuel Vimes's Entry]] on [[wikipedia:Wikipedia|Wikipedia]]
* [http://discworldreadingorder.azurewebsites.net/TheWatch The Watch reading order] - A guide to Sam Vimes's story arc.

{{DEFAULTSORT:Vimes, Samuel}}
[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[Category:Leading characters]]
[[Category:Serial characters]]
[[Category:Human characters]]
[[Category:Watchmen]]

[[de:Samuel Mumm]]

Discworld Stuff

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Mixon: Undo revision 40764 by Abcdefabric (talk)

This place should include any interesting facts from the books by Terry Pratchett which do not fit into the categories [[List of Pratchett characters|Characters]] and [[List of Discworld locations|Locations]].

The [[Discworld (world)|Discworld]], or at least [[Ankh-Morpork]], the city which considers their opinion the most important, has recently left behind the ''[[Discworld calendar|Century of the Fruitbat]]'' (see ''[[Book:The Truth|The Truth]]''), and moved into the ''[[Discworld calendar|Century of the Anchovy]]'' (see ''[[Book:Going Postal|Going Postal]]'').

{{listdev}}

==Flora, Fauna, and Peoples==

See also [[:Category:Discworld Flora & Fauna]] and [[:Category:Discworld humanoid species]] for a more complete list.

*[[Accelerating Bamboo]]
* [[Ambiguous Puzuma]]
* [[.303 Bookworm]]
* [[Counting pines]]
* [[Critters]]
* [[Curious squid]]
* Dragons
** [[Moon dragon]] (''Draco lunaris'')
** [[Noble dragon]] (''Draco nobilis'')
** [[Swamp dragon]] (''Draco vulgaris'')
* [[Drop bear]]
* [[Hermit Elephant]]
* [[Ice Eagle]]
* [[Jenny Greenteeth]]
* [[Lappet-faced Worrier]]
* [[Malus equilibria]]
* [[Phoenix]]
* [[Pointless albatross]]
* [[Quantum weather butterflies]]
* [[Rats]]
* [[Republican Bees]]
* [[Rogers the Bulls]]
* [[Salamander]]
* [[Sapient pearwood]]
* [[Shadowing Lemma]]
* [[Tharga]]
* [[Überwaldean land eels]]
* [[Uncommon sock eater]]
* [[Unicorn]]
* [[Wahoonie]]
* [[:Category:Discworld humanoid species|Humanoid species]]
** [[Banshees]]
** [[Bogeymen]]
** [[Dwarfs]]
** [[Elves]]
** [[Furies]]
** [[Gargoyles]]
** [[Birthday, Frog-like humanoid thing with a]]
** [[Gnolls]]
** [[Gnomes]]
** [[Goblins]]
** [[Golems]]
** [[Humans]]
** [[Imps]]
** [[Nac Mac Feegle]]
** [[Nobby|"Nobby" Nobbs]]
** [[Orcs]]
** [[Pictsies]]
** [[Trolls]]
** [[Vampires]]
** [[Werewolves]]
** [[Yeti]]
** [[Zombies]]

==Food and Drink==

See also [[:Category:Food and drink]] for a more complete list.

*Food
** [[Antipasta]]
** [[Banged Grains]]
** [[Blowfish]]
** [[Burnt Brown Crunchy Bits]]
** [[Cabbage]]
** [[Chicken Vol-Au-Vent]]
** [[Chocolate]]
** [[Clooty Soufflé]]
** [[Curry]]
** [[Distressed Pudding]]
** [[Dwarf Bread]]
** [[Figgins]]
** [[Knuckle Sandwich]]
** Lickun Berries
** [[Rats|Rat]]
** [[Wow-Wow Sauce]]

* Drink
** [[Amanita Liquor]]
** [[Bentinck's Very Old Peculiar Brandy]]
** [[Brose]]
** [[Ghlen Livid]]
** [[Jimkin Bearhugger's Whiskey]]
** [[Klatchian Coffee]] (which causes the drinker to be [[Knurd]])
** [[Old Overcoat]]
** [[Orakh]]
** [[Peach Corniche]]
** [[Screaming Orgasm]]
** [[Scumble]]
** [[Sea Grape Wine]]
** [[Soggy Mountain Dew]]
** [[Special Sheep Liniment]]
** [[Spring Cordial]]
** [[Stardrip]]
** [['Three Wizards' Chardonnay]]
** [[Turbot's Really Odd (real ale)]]
** [[Winkles Old Peculiar]]

==Magic==
* [[Wizard's magic]]
** [[Fresnel's Wonderful Concentrator]]
** [[Maligree's Wonderful Garden]]
** [[Numerology]]
** The [[Octavo]]
** [[Rite of AshkEnte]]
** [[Sourcerer|Sourcery]]
** [[Thaum]]
* [[Witches magic|Witches' magic]]
** [[Borrowing]]
** [[Fairy-Godmothering]]
** [[Headology]]
** [[Shamble]]
* Natural laws, sort of
** [[Anthropomorphic personification]]
** [[Genetics]]
** [[Morphogenic field]]
** [[Narrativium]]
** [[Nature of eyes]]
** [[Numerology]]
** [[Octarine]], the colour of magic

==Concepts==

See also [[:Category:Discworld concepts]] for a much bigger list of concepts from the Discworld.

* [[Rule One]]
* [[The Code]]
* A [[Million-to-one chance]]
* [[The Desert]]
* Dwarfish [[Mine sign]]
* [[Klatchian Mist]]
* [[Boffo (Concept)]]
* [[Crab Bucket]]

== Languages ==

*[[Agatean]]
*[[Brindisi]]an (mentioned in Maskerade)
*Black Oroogu (mentioned in The Colour of Magic)
*Cimeran (mentioned in The Colour of Magic)
*[[Ephebe|Epheban]]
*[[Djelibeybi|Djelibeyban]]
* [[Dwarfish phrases|Dwarfish]]
*[[Goblin]]
*[[Golems|Golem]]
*High Borogravian - national language of [[Borogravia]] (mentioned in The Colour of Magic)
*[[Klatchian]]
*[[Latatian]]
*[[Llamedos]]ian
*[[Morporkian]]
*[[Oggham]]
*[[Old Morporkian]]
*[[Trolls|Old Troll]]
*[[Quirmian]]
*Sumtri (mentioned in The Colour of Magic)
*Trob (mentioned in The Colour of Magic)
*[[Trollish phrases|Trollish]]
*[[Tsort]]ian
*Vanglemesht (mentioned in The Colour of Magic)
*[[Uberwald]]ean

==History==
* [[Mage Wars]]
*The [[Dark War]]
* [[Battle of Koom Valley]]
* [[Ankh-Morpork Civil War]]
* The [[People's Republic of Treacle Mine Road]]
* [[Glorious Revolution]] of [[Treacle Mine Road]]

==Organisations and groups==
See [[:Category:Groups]] for a more complete list.
* [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]]
* [[Ankh-Morpork League of Temperance]]
* The [[Breccia]]
* The [[Campaign for Equal Heights]]
* The [[DeBris Gang]]
* [[Fresh Start Club]]
* The [[Ankh-Morpork Folk Dance and Song Society]]
* The [[Golem Trust]]
* The [[Guilds of Ankh-Morpork]]
** [[Guild of Accountants]]
** [[Alchemists' Guild]]
**[[Guild of Archaeologists, Antiquarians and Tomb Evacuators]]
** [[Artificers' Guild]]
** [[Assassins' Guild]]
** [[Bandits' Guild]]
** [[Beggars' Guild]]
** [[Clockmakers' Guild]]
** [[Guild of Conjurors]]
** [[Guild of C.M.O.T. Dibblers]]
** [[Fools' Guild]]
** [[Engravers' Guild]]
** [[Firefighters' Guild]]
** [[Gamblers' Guild]]
** [[Handlemen's Guild]]
** [[Guild of Historians]]
** [[Guild of Lawyers]]
** [[Guild of Merchants]]
** [[Musicians' Guild]]
** [[Ratcatchers' Guild]]
** [[Seamstresses' Guild]]
** [[Teachers' Guild]]
** [[Thieves' Guild]]
** [[Watchmen's Guild]]
* The [[History Monks]]
* The [[Lancre Morris Men]]
* The [[Peeled Nuts]]
* [[Silicon Anti-Defamation League]]
* The [[Silver Horde]]
* [[The Smoking Gnu]]
* [[Travelling Accountants]]
* [[Travelling_Librarians|Travelling Librarians]]
* [[Travelling_Teachers|Travelling Teachers]]
* [[Überwald League of Temperance]]

==Notable Businesses/Businessmen==

See also [[:Category:Ankh-Morpork Businesses]] for a more complete list.

* The [[Ankh-Morpork Times]]
* [[Burleigh & Stronginthearm]]
* [[Century of the Fruitbat]]
* [[CMOT Dibbler]]
* [[Gimlet's Hole Food Delicatessen]]
* [[Mrs. Goodbody]]
* [[Grand Trunk]]
* [[Harga's House of Ribs]]
* [[Higgs & Meakins]], chocolatiers
* [[Le Foie Heureux]]
* [[Mundane Meals]]
* The [[Opera House]]
* [[Pointer & Pickles]]
* The Royal Mail/the [[Post Office]] (see also [[Stamps]])
* [[Harry King]]
* [[Soon Shine Sun]] Shonky Shop
* [[Three Jolly Luck]] Takeaway Fish Bar

==Devices==
See also [[:Category:Devices]] and [[:Category:Things]] for a more complete list.
* [[Archchancellor's Hat]]
* [[Axle]]
* The [[Bad Penny]]
* [[Barbarian Invaders]]
* [[Barking Dog]]
* [[Bonsai Mountains]]
* [[Broomstick]]
* The [[Cabinet of Curiosity]]
* [[Clacks]]
* [[Crop rotator]]
* The [[cubes]]
* [[Death's Scythe]]
* The [[Dis-organiser]] Mark One to Mark Five "Gooseberry"
* The [[Engine for the Neutralizing of Information by the Generation of Miasmic Alphabets]]
* The [[Glass Clock]]
* The [[Glooper]]
* [[Great Bronze Spoon of Cladh, The]]
* The [[Going-Under-The-Water-Safely Device]]
* The [[Gonne]]
* [[Hex]]
* [[Iconograph]]
* The [[Kite]]
* [[Klatchian fire engine]]
* [[Kring]]
* [[Lancrastian Army Knife]]
* [[Life-timer]]
* [[Light Dams]]
* The [[Luggage]]
* [[Magic Carpet]]
* [[Mandala]]
* [[Numknuts]]
* [[Old Tom]]
* [[Omniscope]]
* [[Piecemaker]]
* The [[Potent Voyager]]
* The [[Prid of Ankh-Morpork]]
* [[Prince Haram's Tiller]]
* [[Procrastinator]]
* [[Protective]]
* [[Pyramid]]
* [[Quizzing Device]]
* [[Razor blade]]
* [[Seven League Boots]]
* [[Shamble]]
* [[Smoking Mirror of Grism]]
* [[Staff]]
* [[Stamps]]
* [[Technomantic Devices]]
* [[Thaumometer]]
* [[Tsortean Horse]]

==Games==
* [[Crap (game)]]
* [[Cripple Mister Onion]]
* [[Dead Rat Conkers]]
* [[Exclusive Possession]]
* [[Extreme Sneezing]]
* [[Hnaflbaflsniflwhifltafl]]
* [[Jikan no Muda]]
* [[Poosticks]]
* [[Shibo Yangcong-san]]
* [[Thud]]
* [[Foot-the-ball]]

==Publications==

See also [[:Category:Discworld publications]] for a more complete list.

===Books===
*''[[100 Walks in the Ramtops]]', by [[Eric Wheelbrace]]
*The ''[[Almanack de Gothic]]''
* The''[[Bonfire of the Witches]]''
* ''Cooking With Brains'', by Chef [[Aimsbury]]''(Chef dé Canine Cuisine, [[Royal Bank of Ankh-Morpork]])''
*[[Demonylogie Malyfycorum of Henchanse thee Unsatyfactory]]
*''[[Diseases of the Dragon]]''
* ''The Show Judges' Guide to Dragons'', by [[Lady Sybil Ramkin]]. ''Cavern Club Press, Ankh-Morpork. AM $20.''
*''[[Diseases of the Sheep]]''
* [[Grim Fairy Tales]]
* [[The Goode Childe's Booke of Faerie Tales]]
*''[[I spy....Demons]]'', by Professor Cuvee of [[Unseen University]]''.
*''[[Inne Juste 7 Dayes I wille make you a Barbearian Hero!]]'', by [[Cohen the Barbarian]]
*''[[The Joye of Snacks]]'', by [[Nanny Ogg|"A Lancre Witch"]]
* [[Koom Valley Codex]]
*''[[Carrot Ironfoundersson|The Laws and Ordinances of the Cities of Ankh and Morpork]]''
*''[[Liber Immanis Monstrorum]]', by Professor Cuvee of [[Unseen University]].
* [[Mr Bunnsy Has An Adventure]]
*''[[Necrotelicomnicon]]'
*The ''[[Octavo]]''
*''[[The Summoning of Dragons]]'', by [[Tubal de Malachite]] ''(specifically about [[Noble dragons]])''
*''[[Res Centum et Una Quas Magus Facere Potest]]''
*''[[True Art of Levitatione]]''
*''[[Twurp's Peerage]]''
*''[[Walking in the Koom Valley]]'', by Eric Wheelbrace
*''[[What I Did On My Holidays]]'', by [[Twoflower]]
*''[[Book:Where's My Cow?|Where's My Cow?]]''
*''[[Why Men Get Under Your Feet]] by [[Releventia Flout]]

===[[Magazines]]===
*[[Battle Call]]
*[[Beaks & Talons]]
*[[Bows & Ammo]]
*[[Popular Armour]]
*[[Unadorned Facts]]
*[[What Gallows]]?
*[[Total Pins]]
*[[Bu-Bubble]]

===Newspapers===
*The [[Ankh-Morpork Inquirer]]
*The [[Ankh-Morpork Times]]
*[[Pseudopolis Herald]]
*Sto Plains Dealer
*[[Tanty Bugle]] ''(weekly, crime reportage from throughout The [[Sto Plains]])''

[[Category:Discworld Series| ]]

List of Discworld locations

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Mixon: Undo revision 40763 by Abcdefabric (talk)

'''''This page lists locations where scenes in the books take place. For other places mentioned see [[:Category:Discworld geography|Discworld geography]].'''''

==[[Discworld (world)|The Discworld]]==
===[[Main continent]]===
*[[Ankh-Morpork]]
**[[Ankh-Morpork Neighbourhoods]]
***[[The Shades]]
***[[Isle of Gods]]
***[[Dolly Sisters]]
***[[Nap Hill]]
***[[Dimwell]]
***[[Seven Sleepers]]
***[[Wizards' Quarter]]
**Ankh-Morpork Watch Stations. See [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]]
**[[Biers]]
**[[The Bucket|Bucket]], The
**[[Lady Sybil Free Hospital]]
**[[The Mended Drum|Mended Drum]], The
**[[Odium]], The
**[[Opera House]], The
**[[Patrician's Palace]], The
**[[Pork Futures Warehouse]]
**[[Pseudopolis Yard]]
**[[Ramkin Residence]]
**[[Sunshine Sanctuary for Sick Dragons]]
**[[Temple of Small Gods]], The
**[[Unseen University]]
***[[High Energy Magic Building]]
***[[Library]], The
***[[Tower of Art]], The
*[[Borogravia]]
**[[Kneck Citadel]]
**[[Munz]]
*[[The Chalk]]
*[[Chimeria]]
*[[Copperhead]]
*[[Cori Celesti]]
**[[Dunmanifestin]]
*[[Genua]]
*[[Gonim]]
*[[Holy Wood]]
*[[Koom Valley]]
**[[Ham-on-Koom]]
*[[Kythia]]
*[[Lancre]]
**[[Bad Ass]]
**[[Lancre Castle]]
**[[Lancre Town]]
**[[Mad Stoat]]
**[[The Dancers]]
**[[The Long Man]]
**[[The Place Where The Sun Does Not Shine]]
**[[Slice]]
*[[Llamedos]]
*[[Mouldavia]]
*[[NoThingfjord]]
*[[Octarine Grass Country]]
**[[Keepsake Hall]]
**[[Sheepridge]]
*[[Ohulan Cutash]]
*[[Oi Dong]] (see also [[History Monks]] & [[Enlightenment country]])
**[[Bong Phut]]
**[[Long Nap]]
*[[Pseudopolis]]
**[[Brazeneck College]]
*[[Quirm]]
*[[Skund]]
*[[Sto Helit]]
*[[Sto Kerrig]]
*[[Sto Lat]]
*[[The Shires]]
**[[Crundells]]
**the [[Goblin's Head]]
*[[Überwald]]
**[[Bad Blintz]]
**[[Bad Schüschein]]
**[[Bonk]]
**[[Escrow]]
**[[Schmaltzberg]]
**[[Porkscratchenz]]
**[[Slake]]
*[[Wyrmberg|The Wyrmberg]]
*[[Zemphis]]
*[[Zlobenia]]

===[[Klatch (continent)]]===
*[[Betrek]]
*[[Djelibeybi]]
*[[Ephebe]]
*[[Ghat]]
**[[Offler|Lost Jewelled Temple of Offler]]
**[[Zambingo]]
*[[Istanzia]]
*[[Klatch (country)]]
**[[Al-Khali]]
**[[Al-Ybi]]
**[[Gebra]]
*[[Klatchistan]]
*[[Omnia]]
**[[Kom]]
**[[Il-Drim|Port Il-Drim]]
*[[Smale]]
*[[Tezuman Empire]]
*[[Tsort]]
*[[Urabewe]]
*[[Ushistan]]

===[[Counterweight Continent]]===
*[[Agatean Empire]]
**[[Bes Pelargic]]
**[[Hunghung]]
**[[Sum Dim]]

===[[XXXX]]===
*[[Bugarup]]
**[[Bugarup University]]
*[[Dijabringabeeralong]]
*[[Cangoolie]]
*[[Worralorrasurfa]]

===Miscellaneous Islands===
*[[Krull]]
**[[Circumfence|The Circumfence]]
*[[Leshp|Sunken Leshp]]
*[[Mithos]]
*[[Mono Island]]
*[[Purdee Island]]
*[[Slakki|Island of Slakki]]

==Associated Dimensions==
*[[Castle of Bones]]
*[[Death's Domain]]
*[[Fairyland]]
*[[King of the Elves|The Other Land of the Elves]] (the one they don't talk about)
*[[Glass House|The Glass House]]
*[["Fingers" Mazda|The Prison of Mazda]]
*[[Spirit guide|Spirit World]]
*[[Noble dragon|The Place Where the Dragons Lie]]
*[[Roundworld]]
*[[Tooth Fairy's Tower]]
*[[L-space]]
*[[Hell]]
*[[The Desert]]

[[Category:Discworld geography]]
[[Category:Locations]]

List of Pratchett characters

2026-06-04T00:26:34Z

Mixon: Undo revision 40762 by Abcdefabric (talk)

'''Alphabetical list of characters in the works of Terry Pratchett'''

'''There are over 1100 individuals listed on this site. For more complete lists, please also follow links to [[:Category:Discworld characters|Discworld characters]], [[:Category:Characters by book]] etc.

When including characters, please also add them to a relevant category, or create one for the book if necessary (should only be needed for non-Discworld books).

=Major Discworld characters=
'''Major characters are those with dialogue in three or more books or who are in some other way important (like the Luggage).'''

===Ankh-Morpork and The Watch===
Featuring characters appearing in {{G!G!}}, {{MAA}}, {{FOC}}, {{J}}, {{TFE}}, {{NW}}, {{T!}}, and {{SN}}

* [[Mrs. Cake]]
* [[Fred Colon]] (Sergeant, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]])
* [[Mrs. Marietta Cosmopilite]]
* [[Detritus]] (Sergeant, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]])
* [[Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler]]
* [[Dorfl]], ([[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]])
* [[Rufus Drumknott]] (current assistant to Lord [[Havelock Vetinari]])
* [[Gaspode]] the Wonder Dog
* [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]] (Captain, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]])
* [[Leonard of Quirm]]
* [[Cheery Littlebottom]] (Sergeant, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]])
* [[Nobby Nobbs]] (Corporal, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]])
* [[Lady Sybil Ramkin]], Duchess of Ankh
* [[Foul Ole Ron]]
* [[Reg Shoe]], (Constable, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]])
* [[Mr. Slant]]
* [[Angua von Überwald]] (Captain, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]])
* [[Havelock Vetinari|Lord Havelock Vetinari]] (current [[Patrician]] of [[Ankh-Morpork]])
* [[Samuel Vimes]] (Commander, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]], Duke of Ankh)
* [[Visit-the-Infidel-with-Explanatory-Pamphlets]], (Constable, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]])
* [[Willikins]], Butler to [[Samuel Vimes]]

===Unseen University and the Wizards===
Featuring characters appearing in {{ER}}, {{S}}, {{E}}, {{RM}}, {{LL}}, {{H}}, and {{TLC}}
* The [[Bursar]]
* [[Coin]]
* The [[Chair of Indefinite Studies]]
* The [[Dean]]
* [[Hex]]
* Doctor [[John Hicks|Hix]]
* The [[Lecturer in Recent Runes]]
* The [[Librarian]] (formerly Dr [[Horace Worblehat]])
* [[The Luggage]]
* [[Mustrum Ridcully]] (Archchancellor, [[Unseen University]])
* [[Rincewind]] (Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography)
* The [[Senior Wrangler]]
* [[Ponder Stibbons]]
* Mrs. [[Whitlow]]

===Lancre and the Witches===
Featuring characters appearing in [[Equal Rites]], [[Wyrd Sisters]], [[Witches Abroad]], [[Lords and Ladies]], [[Maskerade]], and [[Carpe Jugulum]]

* [[Gammer Brevis]]
* [[Magrat Garlick]]
* [[Greebo]]
* [[Agnes Nitt]] (aka Perdita X Dream)
* [[Jason Ogg]]
* [[Gytha Ogg]], (aka "Nanny")
* [[Shawn Ogg]]
* [[Eskarina Smith]]
* [[Tomjon]]
* [[Lucy Tockley]] (aka Diamanda)
* [[Verence II]]
* [[Esmerelda Weatherwax]], (aka "Granny")
* [[Lily Weatherwax]], (aka Lilith Tempscire) (originally from Lancre)

===Death's Domain and supernatural entities===
Featuring characters appearing in [[Mort]], [[Reaper Man]], [[Soul Music]], [[Hogfather]], and [[Thief of Time]]

* [[Auditors of Reality]]
* [[Albert]] (Alberto Malich, the wise)
* [[Binky]]
* [[Blind Io]]
* [[Death]]
* [[Death of Rats]]
* [[Fate]]
* [[The Lady]]
* [[Mort]]
* [[Offler]]
* [[Om]]
* [[Quoth]]
* [[Susan Sto Helit]]
* [[Ysabell]]
See also [[the gods]], [[anthropomorphic personification]] and [[Supernatural Entities]] for gods and other entities who appear in only one or two books.

===Tiffany Aching===
Featuring characters appearing in [[The Wee Free Men]], [[A Hat Full of Sky]], [[Wintersmith]], and [[I Shall Wear Midnight]]

* [[Tiffany Aching]]
* [[Rob Anybody]]
* [[Roland]] de Chumsfanleigh (Pronounced Chuffley - it's not his fault)
* [[Letice Earwig]]
* [[Annagramma Hawkin]]
* [[Jeannie]]
* Miss [[Perspicacia Tick]]
* [[Daft Wullie]]

===Industrial Revolution Characters===
Featuring characters appearing in {{MP}}, {{TT}}, {{GP}}, {{MM}} and {{RS}}
* [[Otto Chriek]]
* [[Sacharissa Cripslock]]
* [[Adora Belle Dearheart]] (also known as ''Spike'' and ''Killer'')
* [[Moist von Lipwig]]
* [[William de Worde]], (Editor of the [[Ankh-Morpork Times]])

=Minor Discworld characters=

===Ankh-Morpork and The Watch===
Featuring characters appearing in {{G!G!}}, {{MAA}}, {{FOC}}, {{J}}, {{TFE}}, {{NW}}, {{T!}}, and {{SN}}
* [[Agony Aunts]], Sadie & Dotsie
* [[71-hour Ahmed]]
* [[Altogether Andrews]]
* [[Grag]] [[Ardent]]
* [[Wee Mad Arthur]]
* [[Grag]] [[Bashfull Bashfullsson]]
* [[Stoker Blake]]
* [[Rupert Bleakley]]
* [[The Hon. J. Bleedwell]]
* [[Bluejohn]] (Constable, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]])
* [[Boffo (Clown)|Boffo]]
* [[Brakenshield]] (Constable, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]])
* [[Brick]]
* [[Carcer]]
* [[Chrysoprase]] (the [[Breccia]])
* [[Cecil Clapman]], also known as "Snouty" (Constable, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]])
* [[Ned Coates]], (Constable, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]])
* [[Cruces|Dr. Cruces]]
* [[Cuddy]] (Lance-Constable, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]])
* [[Dai Dickins]], (Sergeant, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]])
* [[Doughnut Jimmy]]
* [[Lord Downey]] (head of the [[Assassins' Guild]])
* [[Downspout]], (Constable, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]])
* [[the Duck Man]]
* [[Edward d'Eath]]
* [[Errol]]
* [[Legitimate First]], (cryptkeeper of the cemetery of Small Gods)
* [[Zlorf Flannelfoot]], former president of the Guild of Assassins
* [[Gimlet Gimlet]]
* [[Grag]] [[Hamcrusher]]
* [[Helmclever]]
* [[Sally von Humpeding]], (Constable, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]])
* [[Gunder Ironcrust]]
* [[Setha Ironcrust]]
* [[All Jolson]]
* [[John Keel]], (Sergeant-At-Arms, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]])
* [[Dr. Lawn]]
* [[Lady Roberta Meserole]] (also known as Madam)
* [[Mica]] (Constable, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]])
* [[Horace Nancyball]], (Constable, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]])
* [[Rosemary Palm]] of the [[Seamstresses' Guild]]
* [[Pepe]]
* [[A.E. Pessimal]]
* [[Doc Pseudopolis]]
* [[Verity Pushpram]] (also known as ''Hammerhead'')
* [[Reet]], [[Seamstresses' Guild|Seamstress]] and former girlfriend of [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]]
* [[Rodney]]
* [[Ronald Rust]]
* [[Sammies]]
* [[Schist]] (Constable, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]])
* [[Albert Selachii]]
* [[Arnold Sideways]]
* [[Mr Shine]]
* [[Inigo Skimmer]]
* [[Mad Lord Snapcase]]
* [[Wallace Sonky]]
* Sir [[Reynold Stitched]]
* [[Findthee Swing]]
* [[Buggy Swires]]
* [[Pors Stronginthearm]] of [[Burleigh & Stronginthearm]]
* [[Tawneee]]
* [[Grabpot Thundergust]]
* [[Charles Venturi]]
* [[Vortin]]
* [[Eric Wheelbrace]], author of [[Walking in the Koom Valley]]
* [[Billy Wiglet]], (Constable, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]])
* [[Lord Winder]]
* [[Notfaroutoe|Arthur Winkings]] (also known as Count [[Notfaroutoe]])
* [[Notfaroutoe|Doreen Winkings]] (also known as Countess [[Notfaroutoe]])
* [[Lupine Wonse]] (previous assistant to Lord [[Havelock Vetinari]] of [[Ankh-Morpork]])

===Unseen University and The Wizards===
Featuring characters appearing in [[Equal Rites]], [[Sourcery]], [[Eric]], [[Reaper Man]], [[Lords and Ladies]], [[Hogfather]], [[The Last Continent]], [[The Last Hero]], and [[Unseen Academicals]]

* [[Bethan]]
* [[Skarmer Billias]]
* [[Drum Billet]]
* [[Cohen the Barbarian]] (leader of the [[Silver Horde]])
* [[Conina]] (the barbarian hairdresser)
* The [[Creator]] (of Discworld)
* The [[Creator (of the Continent XXXX)]]
* [[Cutangle]] (Past Archchancellor, [[Unseen University]])
* [[Herrena]]
* [[Trevor Likely]]
* [[Mightily Oats]]
* [[Modo]]
* Mr. [[Nutt]], UU [[Candle Dribbler]] and [[Orcs|orc]]
* [[Windle Poons]]
* [[Hughnon Ridcully]], High Priest of [[Blind Io]]
* Madame [[Sharn]]
* [[Spelter]]
* [[Juliet Stollop]] (Jooles), Night Kitchen girl & fashion model sensation
* [[Glenda Sugarbean]], Head Cook of Unseen University's Night Kitchen
* [[Adrian Turnipseed]], (also known as "Big Mad Drongo")
* [[Twoflower]]
* [[Galder Weatherwax]] (Past Archchancellor, [[Unseen University]])

===Lancre and The Witches===
Featuring characters appearing in [[Equal Rites]], [[Wyrd Sisters]], [[Witches Abroad]], [[Lords and Ladies]], [[Maskerade]], and [[Carpe Jugulum]]

* [[André]]
* [[Marmaric Carding]]
* [[Casanunda]]
* [[Old Mother Dismass]]
* [[Lady Felmet|Duchess Felmet]]
* [[Leonal Felmet|Duke Felmet]]
* [[Hodgesaargh]]
* [[Desiderata Hollow]]
* [[Hwel]]
* [[Mightily Oats]]
* [[Walter Plinge]]
* [[Mr Pounder]]
* Mr. [[Salzella]]
* [[Ella Saturday]]
* [[Olwyn Vitoller]]
* [[Goodie Whemper]]

===Death's Domain and Supernatural Entities===
Featuring characters appearing in [[Mort]], [[Reaper Man]], [[Soul Music]], [[Hogfather]], and [[Thief of Time]]

* The [[Abbot]]
* [[Lias Bluestone]]
* [[Duke Bottomley]]
* [[Imp y Celyn]]
* [[Mr. Clete]]
* [[Jeremy Clockson]]
* [[Keli]]
* [[Myria LeJean]]
* [[Lu-Tze]] (also known as ''Sweeper''), one of the [[History Monks]]
* [[Lobsang Ludd]]
* [[Qu]]
* [[Marco Soto]]
* [[William Spigot]]
* [[Jonathan Teatime]]
* [[Wen the Eternally Surprised]]
* [[Gabby Wheels]]

===Tiffany Aching===
Featuring characters appearing in [[The Wee Free Men]], [[A Hat Full of Sky]], [[Wintersmith]], and [[I Shall Wear Midnight]]

* [[Granny Aching]]
* [[Wentworth Aching]]
* [[Jenny Greenteeth]]
* [[Toad]]

===Industrial Revolution Characters===
Featuring characters appearing in {{MP}}, {{TT}}, {{GP}}, {{MM}} and {{RS}}

* [[Gaffer Bird]]
* [[Boddony]]
* [[Reacher Gilt]]
* [[Gladys]] ([[Golem]] at the [[Post Office]])
* [[Gunilla Goodmountain]]
* [[Tolliver Groat]]
* [[Laddie]]
* [[Iodine Maccalariat]] (Miss Maccalariat)
* [[Mr. Pin]]
* [[Mr. Pony]] of the [[Artificers' Guild]]
* Mr. [[Pump]]
* [[Sendivoge]]
* [[Thomas Silverfish]]
* [[Victor Tugelbend]] (also known as Victor Maraschino)
* [[Mr. Tulip]]
* [[Theda Withel]] (also known as "Ginger" and "Delores De Syn")
* [[Harry King]]

===Discworld Cultures===
Featuring characters from [[Pyramids]], [[Small Gods]], [[The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents]], and [[Monstrous Regiment]]

* [[Aristocrates]]
* [[Brutha]]
* [[Didactylos]]
* [[Dios]] ({{P}})
* [[Ibid]]
* [[Jack Jackrum]]
* The Amazing [[Maurice]]
* [[Polly Perks]]
* [[Ptaclusp]] ({{P}})
* [[Ptaclusp IIa]] ({{P}})
* [[Ptaclusp IIb]] ({{P}})
* [[Ptraci]] ({{P}})
* Sergeant [[Simony]]
* [[Teppic]] (King Pteppicymon XXVIII {{P}})
* [[St. Ungulant]] (full name Sevrian Thaddeus Ungulant)
* [[Urn]]
* [[Vorbis]]
* [[Xeno]]

===Überwald===

* [[Sally von Humpeding]], (Constable, [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch|City Watch]])
* [[Igor#Igor at Ankh-Morpork City Watch, Ankh-Morpork|Igor at Ankh-Morpork City Watch, Ankh-Morpork]]
* [[Igor#Igor at Ankh-Morpork Embassy in Bonk, Überwald|Igor at Ankh-Morpork Embassy in Bonk, Überwald]]
* [[Igor#Igor at the Baron's, Bonk, Überwald|Igor at the Baron's, Bonk, Überwald]]
* [[Igor#Igor at Biers, Ankh-Morpork|Igor at Biers, Ankh-Morpork]]
* [[Igor#Igor at the Lady Sybil Free Hospital|Igor at the Lady Sybil Free Hospital]]
* [[Igor#Igor at Jeremy Clockson's, Ankh-Morpork|Igor at Jeremy Clockson's, Ankh-Morpork]]
* [[Igor#Igor who worked for Demented Doctor Wingle in Bad Schuschein|Igor who worked for Demented Doctor Wingle in Bad Schuschein]]
* [[Igor#Igor at Don'tgonearthe Castle, Überwald|Igor at Don'tgonearthe Castle, Überwald]]
* [[Igor#Igor at Reacher Gilt's, Ankh-Morpork|Igor at Reacher Gilt's, Ankh-Morpork]]
* [[Igor#Igor at Hobson's Livery Stable, Ankh-Morpork|Igor at Hobson's Livery Stable, Ankh-Morpork]]
* [[Igor#Igor in the Ins-and-Outs, Borogravia|Igor in the Ins-and-Outs, Borogravia]]
* [[Igor#Igor at Lady Margolotta's, Bonk, Überwald|Igor at Lady Margolotta's, Bonk, Überwald]]
* [[Igor#Igor who works for Doctor Thaumic near Bonk, Uberwald|Igor who works for Doctor Thaumic near Bonk, Uberwald]]
* [[Igor#Aunt Igorina who runs We-R-Igors at Bad Schuschein|Aunt Igorina who runs We-R-Igors at Bad Schuschein]]
* [[Igor#Igor at the Royal Bank of Ankh-Morpork|Igor at the Royal Bank of Ankh-Morpork]]
* [[Mightily Oats]]
* [[Bela de Magpyr]]
* [[Count de Magpyr]]
* [[Lacrimosa de Magpyr]]
* [[Vlad de Magpyr]]
* [[Lady Margolotta]]
* [[Rhys Rhysson]], [[Low King]] of the [[dwarfs]]
* [[Guye von Überwald]]
* [[Serafine von Überwald]]
* [[Wolfgang von Überwald]]
* [[Yennorks]]

=Discworld Historical Figures=
* [[Achmed The Mad]]
* [[B'hrian Bloodaxe]], [[Low King]] of the [[dwarfs]]
* [[St Bobby]]
* [[Carelinus]]
* [[Rolande de Colline]]
* [[Aliss Demurrage]] (aka [[Black Aliss]])
* [[Bergholt Stuttley Johnson]] ("Bloody Stupid" Johnson)
* [[Khuft]] - founder of The Old Kingdom
* [[Lorenzo the Kind]]
* [[Olaf Quimby II]]
* [[Ossory]]
* [[Methodia Rascal]]
* [[Riktor]]
* General [[Callus Tacticus]]
* [["Stoneface" Vimes]]
* Queen [[Ynci]]

=Characters from books not set in the Discworld universe=
===The Dark Side of the Sun===
*[[Chatogaster]]
*The [[First Sirian Bank]]
*[[Ig]]
*[[Isaac]] the robot
*[[Korodore]]
*[[Dom Sabalos]]
*[[Joan Sabalos]]
*[[Arte Sadhim]]
*[[Darven Samhedi]]
*[[Charles Sub-Lunar]]
*[[Ways]]

===Strata===
*[[Kin Arad]]
*[[The Committee]]
*[[Leiv Eriksson]]
*[[Marco Farfarer]]
*[[Abu Ibn Infra]]
*[[Jago Jalo]]
*[[Silver (Strata)|Silver]]

===Bromeliad series===
*[[Grimma]]
*[[Angalo de Haberdasheri]]
*The Duke [[Cido de Haberdasheri]]
*The [[Baroness del Icatessen]]
*[[Dorcas del Icatessen]]
*The [[Count de Ironmongri]]
*[[Kiddie-Klothians|Nooty Kiddies-Klothes]]
*[[Masklin]]
*[[Granny Morkie]]
*Old [[Torrit]]
*[[Nicco]]
*[[Nisodemus]]
*[[Sacco]]
*The [[Abbot of the Stationeri]]
*[[Gurder]] de Stationeri
*[[The Thing]]

===Good Omens===
*[[Adam Young]], leader of [[the Them]], the antichrist
*[[Anathema Device]], professional descendant
*[[Aziraphale]], angel
*[[Beelezebub]], Prince of Hell
*[[Brian ("Good Omens")|Brian]], one of [[the Them]]
*[[Anthony Crowley|Crowley]], an angel who did not so much fall as saunter vaguely downwards
*[[Death (Good Omens)|Death]], a Horseman of the Apocalypse
*[[Dog]], a hellhound
*[[Famine (Good Omens)|Famine]], a Horseman of the Apocalypse
*[[Hastur]], a Fallen Angel
*[[Ligur]], a likewise fallen Angel
*[[Madame Tracy]] also named [[Marjorie Potts]]
*the [[Metatron]], or Voice of God
*[[Newton Pulsifer]], Witchfinder Private
*Pippin Galadriel Moonchild, or [[Pepper]], one of [[the Them]]
*[[Pollution]], a Horseman of the Apocalypse
*[[Shadwell]], a Witchfinder Sergeant
*[[War (Good Omens)|War]], a Horseman of the Apocalypse
*[[Warlock (character)|Warlock]], son of a cultural attache, not the Antichrist
*[[Wensleydale]], one of [[the Them]]
*[[Mrs. Deirdre Young]], 'Mother' to [[Adam Young]]
*[[Mr. Young]], 'Father' to [[Adam Young]]

===Johnny Maxwell series===
*[[Bigmac]]
*[[Johnny Maxwell]]
*[[Kirsty]]
*[[Wobbler]]
*[[Yo-less]]

===Nation===
*[[Ataba]]
*[[Cookie]]
*[[Cox]]
*[[Ermintrude Fanshaw]], aka ''Daphne''
*[[Daphne's Grandmother]]
*[[Henry Fanshaw]], Daphne's Father
*Mr [[Griffith]]
*Mrs. [[Gurgle]]
*[[Mau]]
*[[Milo]]
*[[Nawi]]
*[[Pilu]]
*[[Nathan Roberts]]
*[[Lionel Samson]]

===The Long Earth===
*[[Douglas Black]]
*[[Lobsang]]

===Dodger===
*[[Dodger]]
*[[Solomon Cohen]]

Note: Some character pages may not yet have been added to this list. Check the relevant categories to be sure.

{{listdev}}

=External links=
*{{ls|/books/whos-who/|L-Space Web, Who's Who}}

[[Category:Characters by book| ]]