Discworld & Terry Pratchett Wiki - User contributions [en]

Lobsang Ludd

2025-01-14T20:49:16Z

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{{hatnote|This article is about the son of Time. For the character in ''The Long Earth'', see [[Lobsang]]. For the Abbot of the Listening Monks, see [[Abbot Lobsang]].}}
{{Character Data
|title= Lobsang Ludd
|photo=brothersmine.jpg|Lobsang and Jeremy by [[user:darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name= name Newgate Ludd and [[Jeremy Clockson]]
|age= early 20s in appearance
|race= Half [[Humans|human]], half [[anthropomorphic personification]]
|occupation= A thief (Ludd) and a clockmaker (Clockson)
|appearance=
|residence= [[Glass House]]
|death=
|parents= [[Wen the Eternally Surprised]] and [[Time]]
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status= unmarried
|books= [[Book:Thief of Time|Thief of Time]]
|cameos=
}}

'''Lobsang Ludd''' was born as one soul with two bodies from [[Wen the Eternally Surprised]] and [[Time]]. [[Nanny Ogg]] assisted at the birth, and witnessed the two souls being born. This can probably be explained by the whole universe being destroyed and recreated in an instant by Time. The two babies were put on the doorsteps of the [[Clockmakers' Guild]] and the [[Thieves' Guild]]. Naming conventions for the guilds resulted in the surnames Ludd and Clockson.

[[Jeremy Clockson|Jeremy]] became the best clockmaker of [[Ankh-Morpork]] and was chosen by the [[Auditors of Reality|Auditors]] to build the new [[Glass Clock]] which would stop time. A brilliant clockmaker, Jeremy succeeds. His brilliance does come at a price: all he cares about are clocks, he is not strong in social relations and has to take medicine (closely monitored by the guild) to behave in a socially accepted way. His [[Igor]] notices that his extreme sanity and orderliness is just another form of madness.

Newgate Ludd grows up entirely different, baffling people with his speed in stealing things, often small objects. On the run from persecutors he falls, but saves his life by performing the ''Stance of the Coyote''. This is noticed by [[Marco Soto]] who sends him to the [[History Monks]] to be trained, where he receives the name Lobsang. Mostly because he has such talents he's a lazy student who gets thrown into the care of sweeper [[Lu-Tze]]. They both head to Ankh-Morpork, supposedly to learn [[The Way of Mrs Cosmopilite]], but really to find and destroy the Glass Clock. In the aftermath of the stopping of time, Lobsang meets [[Susan Sto Helit]] and together they find his "brother" who got wounded in the events. Their souls get reunited, but Lobsang is his preferred personality. Between him and Susan a romance blossoms.

After restoring the world and the flow of time, Lobsang takes over the job as Time so his parents can enjoy some time off. He meets [[Lu-Tze]] in a duel who beats him with [[Deja Fu]], finishing his education and making him a fully approved [[sweeper]].

:
[[Category: Discworld characters|Ludd, Lobsang]]
[[Category: Supernatural entities|Ludd, Lobsang]]
[[Category: Leading characters|Ludd, Lobsang]]
[[de:Lobsang Ludd]]

Talk:The Way of Mrs. Cosmopilite

2025-01-14T20:48:45Z

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#REDIRECT [[Talk:The Way of Mrs Cosmopilite]]

Talk:The Way of Mrs Cosmopilite

2025-01-14T20:48:45Z

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I suspect many of these are fan fiction, but I don't have {{LTYOE|Diary}}. --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 01:11, 30 March 2022 (UTC)

The Way of Mrs. Cosmopilite

2025-01-14T20:48:45Z

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#REDIRECT [[The Way of Mrs Cosmopilite]]

The Way of Mrs Cosmopilite

2025-01-14T20:48:45Z

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'''The Way of Mrs. Cosmopilite''' is a collection of wise words from [[Mrs. Marietta Cosmopilite]] by [[Lu-Tze]]. They are usually announced by the phrase ''Is it not written...?'', though few dare to ask where it actually ''is'' written. Most ''{{wp|Kōan|koans}}'' come from {{TOT}}, some from {{NW}}, two books where Lu-Tze has an important role and also the 2008 diary. They are ordered alphabetically.

==Is it not written...?==
* A little soap and water never killed anyone
* A penny saved is a penny earned.
* A washed pot never boils. (This one was related by way of a Yeti, so it may be garbled by a mild speech impediment)
* Because.
* Big events always cast their shadows.
* Bored! How can you be bored? I was never bored at your age.
* Close the door! you weren't born in a barn.
* Do as I say not as I do.
* Do unto otters as you would have them do unto you. (Koan 97) (Lu-Tze mentions uncertainty about having gotten this one right)
* Do you think I'm made of money?
* Do you think this is a hotel? You can't come in here only to sleep.
* Don't go out with a wet head, you'll catch cold
* Don't make me come in there!
* Don't talk with your mouth full.
* Don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been.
* Don't you have anything better to do.
* Eat it up, it'll make your hair curly.
* Enough is enough.
* Everything comes to he who waits.
* Every second counts.
* Go to your room and think about what you did!
* Hard work never did anybody any harm.
* How do you know you don't like it you haven't tasted it.
* How many times do I have to tell you?
* I can always tell when you're lying.
* I can't be having with that kind of thing.
* I'd forget my own head if it wasn't nailed on.
* If a single woman sleeps with a piece of wedding cake under her pillow, she will dream of her future husband.
* If I've told you once I've told you a million times.
* If it were a dog, it would have bitten you
* If the wind changes, your face will stay like that.
* If Om had wanted you to have holes in your ears he would have put them there.
* If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all
* If you don't clean your plate, you won't get any dessert
* If you don't stop crying I'll give you something to cry about.
* If you have another one you won't have an appetite for your dinner.
* If you keep goin' all cosmic on me you'll feel the end of my broom and no mistake.
* If you play with fire you will wet the bed
* If you want a thing done properly you've got to do it yourself.
* If you feel a burning in your ears somebody is talking about you.
* If you're too sick to work you're too sick to go out tonight
* I haven't got all day, you know.
* I have only one pair of hands.
* I was not born yesterday.
* I'll treat you like an adult when you start acting like one.
* I'm not as green as I'm cabbage-looking.
* I'm not always going to be around to do these things for you
* I'm not going to ask you again
* It does you good to get out in the fresh air.
* It never rains but it pours.
* It's amazing what you see if you keep your eyes open. (Koan 124)
* It won't get better if you pick at it.
* I've got a feeling in my water.
* Learn to eat with a knife and fork
* Oo, you are so sharp you'll cut yourself one of these days.
* Say that again and I'll wash your mouth out with soap
* Seeing is believing.
* The big sea does not care which way the little fishes swim.
* There is a time and a place for everything.
* There is no time like the present.
* There's a lot goes on we don't get told.
* There's a lot goes on we don't know about, in my opinion.
* We live and learn.
* Well, I'll go to the foot of our stairs.
* When I was you age, I had to walk ten miles through the snow, uphill, by myself, every day, to go to school.
* When you have got to go, you have got to go.
* Wrap up warm or you'll catch your death.
* You can't tell a book by its cover.
* You could knock me down with a feather.
* You never know what's going to turn up.
* You should always wear clean underwear because you never know if you will be knocked down by a cart.
* You've got to learn to walk before you can run.

==Annotation==
On [[Roundworld]], a ''kōan'' is a story, dialogue, question, or statement in the history and lore of Chán (Zen) Buddhism, generally containing aspects that are inaccessible to rational understanding, yet may be accessible to intuition. A famous kōan is: "Two hands clap and there is a sound; what is the sound of one hand?" (oral tradition, attributed to Hakuin Ekaku, 1686-1769, considered a reviver of the kōan tradition in Japan). Lu-Tze's typically irreverent answer is "cl". (Discworld's Death feels that one hand clapping is just a wave.)

Kōans originate in the sayings and doings of sages and legendary figures, usually those authorized to teach in a lineage that regards Bodhidharma (c. 5th-6th century) as its ancestor. Kōans are said to reflect the enlightened or awakened state of such persons, and sometimes said to confound the habit of discursive thought or shock the mind into awareness. Zen teachers often recite and comment on kōans, and some Zen practitioners concentrate on kōans during meditation. Teachers may probe such students about their kōan practice using "checking questions" to validate an experience of insight (kensho) or awakening. Responses by students have included actions or gestures, "capping phrases" (jakugo), and verses inspired by the kōan.

==Current Issue==
The Way of Mrs Cosmopilite has been released, at least in the UK, as the Discworld diary for 2008, and is currently (Nov 2007) available in British bookshops. More is revealed on the wisdom of the Way as well as the pitfalls (such as Mrs [[Golightly]]) that the unwary pilgrim may encounter in his search for wisdom.

[[Category:Discworld concepts|Way of Mrs. Cosmopilite, The]]
[[de:Der Weg von Frau Kosmopilit]]

Evadne Cake

2025-01-13T17:27:55Z

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{{Character Data
|title= Mrs Cake
|photo=Blank.jpg|
|name= Evadne Cake
|age=
|race= Human

|occupation=
|appearance=

|residence= Ankh Morpork

|death=
|parents=
|relatives= Great Uncle [[Erasmus]]
|children= Daughter, [[Ludmilla Cake]]
|marital status= Widow (though still talks to husband)

|books= {{RM}}, {{MAA}}
|cameos={{J}}, {{GP}}, {{MM}}, {{FOC}}
}}

'''''Don't ask.''''' – the [[Ankh-Morpork]] [[Post Office]]

'''Mrs Evadne Cake''' is a psychic medium. Her size is small, but her hat and purse are extra-large. When Mrs Cake sits with her hat on and cuddling her purse, she looks as if only her face is not covered with these accessories.

Mrs Cake volunteers at all temples that she can find, taking over miscellaneous housekeeping duties and performing them efficiently. Unfortunately, sooner or later she invariably falls out with the priests (because she converses with the dead) and ends up leaving the temples in a mess because now nobody else knows how to fulfill the duties she has relinquished. Mrs Cake is dreaded by all priests and priestesses across the continents, as far as the Lost Jewelled Temple of [[Offler]], in [[Klatch (continent)|Klatch]] (see ''[[Book:Reaper Man|Reaper Man]]''), and maybe farther. It is possible that Mrs Cake can be considered a [[witches magic|witch]]. Besides conversing with the dead, Mrs Cake also has the ability to turn on or turn off her precognition, a very useful tool while walking the dangerous streets of [[Ankh-Morpork]], but premonitions also make her conversation with normal people very confusing, because she tends to reply to a question right before it has been asked. Yet, if she has replied and then the person decides not to ask the question, she gets a [[Recursion|terrible headache]].

She has an amicable working relationship with her [[spirit guide]], [[One-Man-Bucket]], and knows how to get his full co-operation: setting fire to a glass of whiskey, so that its ghost lasts for just long enough on the other side, is her usual reward for a job well done.

Mrs Cake has a daughter, [[Ludmilla Cake]], who is partly a [[werewolves|werewolf]] (in ''[[Book:Reaper Man|Reaper Man]]'']. Mrs Cake now rents out rooms in her house to the undead, including the [[zombies|zombie]] [[Reg Shoe]], the werewolf [[Angua von Überwald]], and the [[vampires]] Count and Countess [[Notfaroutoe]]. Mrs Cake is sensitive to the needs of the undead, such as the need for orthopedic gravel in the coffin, the need for a door handle that can be operated by a paw, and the need to leave a window open (for examples, see ''[[Book:Men at Arms|Men at Arms]]''). Mrs Cake is also tolerant of the eccentricities of the undead, such as carrying one's own arm until it is sewn back on. By the time of {{MM}} she is even letting a room to one [[Mavolio Bent]], and that ''really is'' broad-minded.

She may be an unhappy medium, but she may also be psychically connected to the Goddess [[Czol]]. As evidence, see her position in the prehistoric postal pantheon by association. When Moist takes over the Post Office, the items on the "Dont arsk us about" list include two entries reading "Mrs Cake."

The full list is:

DONT ARSK US ABOUT:
*rocks
*troll's with sticks
*All sorts of dragons
*Mrs Cake
*Huje green things with teeth
*Any kinds of black dogs with orange eyebrows
*Rains of spaniel's
*fog
*Mrs Cake

And when Moist hires a very experienced golem, [[Anghammarad]], to be a postman, the [[Golems|golem]] recalls delivering messages in a past age:

‘You really used to deliver messages for kings?’ said Groat. 
‘Many Kings,’ said Anghammarad. ‘Many Empires. Many Gods. Many Gods. All Gone. All Things Go.’ The golem’s voice got deeper, as if he was quoting from memory. ‘Neither Deluge Nor Ice Storm Nor The Black Silence Of The Netherhells Shall Stay These Messengers About Their Sacred Business. Do Not Ask Us About Sabre-Tooth Tigers, Tar Pits, Big Green Things With Teeth Or The Goddess Czol’ 
‘You had big green things with teeth back then?’ said Tropes. 
‘Bigger. Greener. More Teeth,’ rumbled Anghammarad. 
‘And the goddess Czol?’ said Moist. 
‘Do Not Ask.’ 
 
She has a friend, [[Harms-Beetle|Mrs Harms-Beetle]], who lives in [[Welcome Soap]].

Evadne was also the first name of Dr Hinge, of Hinge and Bracket fame.

[[Category:Discworld characters|Cake, Evadne]]
[[Category:Supporting characters|Cake, Evadne]]
[[Category:Human characters|Cake, Evadne]]
[[de:Evadne Kuchen]]

Ludmilla Cake

2025-01-13T17:27:00Z

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{{Character Data
|title=Ludmilla
|photo=Blank.jpg|
|name= Ludmilla Cake
|age=
|race= [[:Category:Undead characters|werewolf]]

|occupation=
|appearance=variable

|residence=Elm Street, Morpork

|death=
|parents= Mrs [[Evadne Cake]], Mr. Cake
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status= in a relationship with [[Lupine]] ({{RM}}); presumed single again in {{MM}}

|books= {{RM}}
|cameos= {{MM}}
}}

Ludmilla Cake is the daughter of Mrs [[Evadne Cake]], [[Ankh-Morpork]]'s most feared medium. She is also a [[werewolves|werewolf]], although a different kind of werewolf than [[Angua von Uberwald]]. Rather than being able to become a wolf at any point, and becoming a wolf involuntarily when hit by full moon light, Ludmilla is human three weeks out of the month, and a "hairy wolf thing" during full moon, night and day. This trait was most likely inherited from Mrs Cake's side of the family.

Ludmilla was seen at the end of {{RM}} as "walking out", or at the very least going for walkies, in the company of the wolf [[Lupine]], who is another type of werewolf. Lupine is similar to Ludmilla in that he becomes a wolfman the entire time the moon is full, but for the rest of the month, Lupine is a full wolf. The current relationship and location of the pair is unknown.

Ludmilla returns to the series in {{MM}}, when she is again (apparently) single and living at home with Mum. As one of Mum's lodgers is [[Angua von Überwald]], at least she has an opportunity for sympathetic chat, perhaps even for some [[Roistering|"minge drinking"]] with the Undead girls? It is interesting that the formerly submissive Ludmilla appears to have become a lot more assertive and self-confident, especially over any perceived verbal slight to the Undead, or careless use of language concerning the "differently vitality-enabled".

[[Category:Discworld characters|Cake, Ludmilla]]
[[Category:Undead characters|Cake, Ludmilla]]
[[de:Ludmilla Kuchen]]

Ludmilla Cake

2025-01-13T17:26:44Z

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{{Character Data
|title=Ludmilla
|photo=Blank.jpg|
|name= Ludmilla Cake
|age=
|race= [[:Category:Undead characters|werewolf]]

|occupation=
|appearance=variable

|residence=Elm Street, Morpork

|death=
|parents= Mrs [[Evadne Cake]], Mr. Cake
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status= in a relationship with [[Lupine]] ({{RM}}); presumed single again in {{MM}}

|books= {{RM}}
|cameos= {{MM}}
}}

Ludmilla Cake is the daughter of [[Mrs Evadne Cake]], [[Ankh-Morpork]]'s most feared medium. She is also a [[werewolves|werewolf]], although a different kind of werewolf than [[Angua von Uberwald]]. Rather than being able to become a wolf at any point, and becoming a wolf involuntarily when hit by full moon light, Ludmilla is human three weeks out of the month, and a "hairy wolf thing" during full moon, night and day. This trait was most likely inherited from Mrs Cake's side of the family.

Ludmilla was seen at the end of {{RM}} as "walking out", or at the very least going for walkies, in the company of the wolf [[Lupine]], who is another type of werewolf. Lupine is similar to Ludmilla in that he becomes a wolfman the entire time the moon is full, but for the rest of the month, Lupine is a full wolf. The current relationship and location of the pair is unknown.

Ludmilla returns to the series in {{MM}}, when she is again (apparently) single and living at home with Mum. As one of Mum's lodgers is [[Angua von Überwald]], at least she has an opportunity for sympathetic chat, perhaps even for some [[Roistering|"minge drinking"]] with the Undead girls? It is interesting that the formerly submissive Ludmilla appears to have become a lot more assertive and self-confident, especially over any perceived verbal slight to the Undead, or careless use of language concerning the "differently vitality-enabled".

[[Category:Discworld characters|Cake, Ludmilla]]
[[Category:Undead characters|Cake, Ludmilla]]
[[de:Ludmilla Kuchen]]

Auditors of Reality

2025-01-08T23:22:06Z

Halbared: /* Annotation */

{{Character Data
|title= The Auditors of Reality
|photo=Blank.jpg|
|name= Legion
|age= as old as Time
|race= sui generis
|occupation= maintenance
|appearance= like empty gray cloaks
|residence=everywhere
|death=
|parents=
|relatives=
|children=
|marital status=

|books= {{RM}}, {{H}}, {{TOT}}, {{SOD3}}
|cameos=
}}
The '''Auditors of Reality''' are the eternal watchers of time and space. Appearing as empty gray cloaks, they have no sense of humanity and all that it entails, whether it be humor or even a sense of singularity, which they particularly despise. Auditors think that to live is to die, and to be a specific person is to live, so an Auditor finds itself imploding if it so much as talks about itself in the first person. Auditors always speak of the "we". Auditors always work in groups of at least three, so that each one can be watched by at least two others. Supposedly all Auditors are of the same opinions about everything, but they still need to watch each other because, frankly, the temptation to live is too great.

They have also had their fair share of run-ins with the [[Death]] of the [[Discworld (world)|Discworld]]. Auditors tend to be very unpopular with all [[anthropomorphic personification]]s and other supernatural entities for breaking the world to make things ''the way they ought to be''. Auditors think that everything should obey basic physics (i.e. it should not be affected by imagination, perceptions, or thoughts, which sentient beings possess in amounts that seem to the Auditors to be unacceptable). Auditors also think that things should be regular (i.e. all cobblestones should be exactly same size and shape), and all spoken words ought to be literal and there ought not be metaphors. Auditors have tried at various times to get Death replaced by someone with less heart, get people to stop believing in a [[Hogfather|winter]] [[the gods|god]], and make time stop so that the Auditors can finally catch up with all the paperwork. They also, once they became aware of its existence, objected to certain aspects of [[Roundworld]] history, and sought to destroy it.

=== Ancient non-life form ===

The Auditors are both repelled by life (and humans in particular) and drawn to it. This leads them to interfere in Discworld, and to do this they are willing to break the Rules.

In {{RM}} it says they cannot be described in ordinary language. “Some people would call them cherubs.” Death calls them servants, watchers. Like him, they are able to appear before [[Azrael]]. In {{H}}, Death says of them, “They run the universe. They see to it that gravity works and that atoms spin (or whatever it is atoms do).”

In {{TOT}} it says things need to be observed in order to exist. In that case, as the most fundamental of observers, nothing would exist without them. Clearly they are part of the cosmic order, and if it were imaginable that any power could diminish them in their own realm, it would be up to the combined forces of Discworld to rally round. This does not stop them from making a nuisance of themselves.

The Auditors hate life, because it is untidy. By their nature, the Auditors take the view that for a thing to exist it has to have a position in time and space. But all the things that distinguish human beings, such as imagination, pity, hope, history and belief, don’t do time and space. Humanity, by belief, allows things to become that don’t exist. Death said that matter has a fear and hatred of life, and the Auditors are the bearers of that hatred. Periodically they try to tidy things up.

Gravity and atoms are basically important, but the Auditors are rubbish in the human dimension. An intelligence a billion years old, which has seen galaxies die, and sees atoms dance, which has hundreds of senses and thinks in 18 dimensions, which makes decisions by the concensus of millions, quickly falls to bits if clamped into the five senses of a human being, with demanding organs wired into its thinking system, looking out at the world from the darkness behind the eyes through the letterbox of “me”. Life is intoxicating, and if the auditors stray into organic territory, they come to grief.

Auditors' thinking processes are noted repeatedly to be very robotic. One way to stop them and cause them to implode is to write signs which issue logically impossible instructions; examples include a sign that says, in large letters 'IGNORE THIS ORDER', a sign saying 'TURN RIGHT' with an arrow pointing left, or a sign saying 'DO NOT FEED THE ELEPHANT' when there is no elephant for them not to feed.

=== Annotation ===
The Auditors appear to be a tribute to the "Grey Men" (Graue Männer) in Michael Ende's fantasy novel {{wp|Momo (novel)|Momo}}, in which (as in Pratchett) the grey-clothed accountant-like characters closely monitor the actions of all characters and seek to make them as efficient as possible, with no regard for their actual well-being. Ende's grey men are likewise stumped by encounters that seem not to follow literal guidelines, and are ultimately flouted by beauty and a childlike love of narrative.

[[Category:Discworld characters]]
[[Category:Supernatural entities]]
[[Category:Serial characters]]
[[Category:Supporting characters]]
[[de:Revisoren der Realität]]

Dungeon Dimensions

2025-01-08T19:45:59Z

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[[image:dungeonmine.jpg|240px|thumb|right|a creature of the Dungeon Dimensions by Kit Cox]]
The '''Dungeon Dimensions''' are the great dark dimensions less than a shadow's width away. There is endless, dry, silver sand, and it is said to be as cold as the space between the stars, and it's populated by Things that exist just enough to hate everything that has actual substance. While fighting Things that had possessed Trymon in The Colour of Magic, Rincewind perceives a giant arena packed with Things, with far larger more sinister shadows in the distance.

They are born of nightmares, and make nightmares, and are just generally nightmarish in general. They are not large ugly furry things; those are just [[bogeymen]], and are generally much prettier. They are not demons either, as they do not rely on belief to exist. And the pretty ones look like a cross between an ugly octopus and an angry bicycle.

They crave life in a stable reality, so they try to break through into more ordinary dimensions such as the [[Discworld (world)|Discworld]] (it says something when the Discworld has a much more stable reality than the Dungeon Dimensions have). Magic weakens the boundaries between worlds, so the Creatures of the Dungeon Dimensions gather where there is a large amount of magic, waiting to break through. They also sometimes manage to come into the mind of a [[Wizards' Magic|wizard]], and these Creatures have an affinity to the number that is four-plus-four, so wizards try not to say that number (see ''[[Book:The Discworld Companion|The Discworld Companion]]'').

They apparently cuddle around our world for light and shape, craving only the ability to exist. They could no more survive in our world than wet paper in a shredding machine, but that doesn't stop them wishing they could. If they ever did break through, the effect would be not unlike the ocean attempting to warm itself on a candle, but they haven't stopped trying yet, and they never will. They are very good at waiting.

Magic doesn't work in fighting the Things, as they feed on magic, but two other methods have been known to work; ''not'' using magic, and good old non-magical fire. When in our world, they must obey our rules, which is why they generally don't last very long, what with having far too many legs and all those organs in the wrong place. If they take on other forms, they seem to have trouble adjusting to having less legs (or eyes or arms or just having legs at all). Those few who have managed to break through home in on sources of Magic. The [[Library|UU Library]] is a favourite.

Generally, entering the Dungeon Dimensions results in insanity, and if you do get something back, it isn't what went in. But some people come out mentally intact. Some of these people are:

*[[Esk]], later the first female student in [[Unseen University]].
*[[Simon]], an [[Unseen University|Unseen]] student so smart that he started giving lectures to the faculty soon after he entered as a student.
*[[Coin]], the [[Sourcerer]].
*[[Rincewind]] the ''Wizzard''.
:These incidents are detailed in: ''[[Book:Equal Rites|Equal Rites]]'', ''[[Book:Sourcery|Sourcery]]'', and ''[[Book:Eric|Eric]]''.

Other breakthrough attempts described in ''[[Book:The Light Fantastic|The Light Fantastic]] and [[Book:Moving Pictures|Moving Pictures]]''. The mall organism from [[Book:Reaper Man|Reaper Man]] may or may not be related to the Dungeon Things. [[Mustrum Ridcully]] predicted another incursion in ''Soul Music'', but was mistaken. Referred to by Lord [[Havelock Vetinari]], the current [[Patrician]] of [[Ankh-Morpork]], in ''[[Book:The Truth|The Truth]]''.

 The Dungeon Dimensions are heavily inspired by HP Lovecraft.

== Dark Gods of the Dungeon Dimensions ==

It has been suggested that some of the very terrible gods on the Disc are not ordinary demons from Hell who have managed to convince believers, but Creatures of the Dungeon Dimensions who have managed to attach themselves to the Discworld enough to have believers.

Some of these Dark Gods are:

The Laddering Horror, [[Nylonathatep]]

The Drunken Cthubopalulu

The Sender of Eight, [[Bel-Shamharoth]]

[[C'hulagan]]

[[The Insider]]

[[Tshup Aklathep]]

[[Category:Locations]]
[[Category:Discworld concepts]]
[[Category:Supernatural entities]]
[[de:Kerkerdimensionen]]

Dungeon Dimensions

2025-01-08T19:42:33Z

Halbared:

[[image:dungeonmine.jpg|240px|thumb|right|a creature of the Dungeon Dimensions by Kit Cox]]
The '''Dungeon Dimensions''' are the great dark dimensions less than a shadow's width away. There is endless, dry, silver sand, and it is said to be as cold as the space between the stars, and it's populated by Things that exist just enough to hate everything that has actual substance. While fighting Things that had possessed Trymon in The Colour of Magic, Rincewind perceives a giant arena packed with Things, with far larger more sinister shadows in the distance.

They are born of nightmares, and make nightmares, and are just generally nightmarish in general. They are not large ugly furry things; those are just [[bogeymen]], and are generally much prettier. They are not demons either, as they do not rely on belief to exist. And the pretty ones look like a cross between an ugly octopus and an angry bicycle.

They crave life in a stable reality, so they try to break through into more ordinary dimensions such as the [[Discworld (world)|Discworld]] (it says something when the Discworld has a much more stable reality than the Dungeon Dimensions have). Magic weakens the boundaries between worlds, so the Creatures of the Dungeon Dimensions gather where there is a large amount of magic, waiting to break through. They also sometimes manage to come into the mind of a [[wizard's magic|wizard]], and these Creatures have an affinity to the number that is four-plus-four, so wizards try not to say that number (see ''[[Book:The Discworld Companion|The Discworld Companion]]'').

They apparently cuddle around our world for light and shape, craving only the ability to exist. They could no more survive in our world than wet paper in a shredding machine, but that doesn't stop them wishing they could. If they ever did break through, the effect would be not unlike the ocean attempting to warm itself on a candle, but they haven't stopped trying yet, and they never will. They are very good at waiting.

Magic doesn't work in fighting the Things, as they feed on magic, but two other methods have been known to work; ''not'' using magic, and good old non-magical fire. When in our world, they must obey our rules, which is why they generally don't last very long, what with having far too many legs and all those organs in the wrong place. If they take on other forms, they seem to have trouble adjusting to having less legs (or eyes or arms or just having legs at all). Those few who have managed to break through home in on sources of Magic. The [[Library|UU Library]] is a favourite.

Generally, entering the Dungeon Dimensions results in insanity, and if you do get something back, it isn't what went in. But some people come out mentally intact. Some of these people are:

*[[Esk]], later the first female student in [[Unseen University]].
*[[Simon]], an [[Unseen University|Unseen]] student so smart that he started giving lectures to the faculty soon after he entered as a student.
*[[Coin]], the [[Sourcerer]].
*[[Rincewind]] the ''Wizzard''.
:These incidents are detailed in: ''[[Book:Equal Rites|Equal Rites]]'', ''[[Book:Sourcery|Sourcery]]'', and ''[[Book:Eric|Eric]]''.

Other breakthrough attempts described in ''[[Book:The Light Fantastic|The Light Fantastic]] and [[Book:Moving Pictures|Moving Pictures]]''. The mall organism from [[Book:Reaper Man|Reaper Man]] may or may not be related to the Dungeon Things. [[Mustrum Ridcully]] predicted another incursion in ''Soul Music'', but was mistaken. Referred to by Lord [[Havelock Vetinari]], the current [[Patrician]] of [[Ankh-Morpork]], in ''[[Book:The Truth|The Truth]]''.

 The Dungeon Dimensions are heavily inspired by HP Lovecraft.

== Dark Gods of the Dungeon Dimensions ==

It has been suggested that some of the very terrible gods on the Disc are not ordinary demons from Hell who have managed to convince believers, but Creatures of the Dungeon Dimensions who have managed to attach themselves to the Discworld enough to have believers.

Some of these Dark Gods are:

The Laddering Horror, [[Nylonathatep]]

The Drunken Cthubopalulu

The Sender of Eight, [[Bel-Shamharoth]]

[[C'hulagan]]

[[The Insider]]

[[Tshup Aklathep]]

[[Category:Locations]]
[[Category:Discworld concepts]]
[[Category:Supernatural entities]]
[[de:Kerkerdimensionen]]

Ankh-Morpork City Watch

2020-03-28T10:50:23Z

Halbared: /* Watch TV Series */

The '''Ankh-Morpork Watch''' (also known as just "The Watch") is [[Ankh-Morpork]]'s police force.

==History==
The Watch and Ward of the Cities of Ankh and Morpork was founded in [[1561 UC]] by King [[Veltrick I]], who also bestowed upon them his personal motto, "Fabricati Diem, Pvncti Agvnt Celeriter," [[Latatian]] for "Make the Day, the Moments Pass Quickly." The Ward, originally the city gate guards, eventually took over thief-taking during daylight hours and became known as the Day Watch, the Watch becoming the Night Watch.

At the time [[Sam Vimes]] enlisted, the Watch comprised four divisions: Day Watch, Night Watch, [[Patrician's Palace|(the Patrician's) Palace]] Guards, and the secret police [[Cable Street Particulars]]. Cable Street Particulars were housed in Cable Street, Palace Guards worked at the palace; Day Watch and Night Watch shared the same police stations, using hour-of-daylight instead of geographic districts to delineate their jurisdictions.

The Cable Street Particulars, an unpopular and much-feared group of secret policemen who spied, jailed citizens without arrest warrants, and tortured them to death, had been taken down during the transition from [[Lord Winder]] to [[Mad Lord Snapcase|Lord Snapcase]] as the Patrician (see {{NW}}).

When first encountered in {{COM}}, Watch officers 'bravely' intervened in a pub fight, but only after "giving 'survivors' ample time to escape via the back door, a neat compromise between caution and justice that benefited all parties"; these were likely the Day Watch officers.

Lord [[Havelock Vetinari]], the [[Patrician]], legalised the [[Thieves' Guild]] and made them regulate their own behaviour, which were mostly what were conventionally thought of as the criminal activities in the city. The Watch slowly became unnecessary, and anyway the Day Watch was headed by a pompous idiot, Captain "Mayonnaise" [[Quirke]], so called because he was thick, oily and smelled of eggs (this may be an oblique reference to Capt. Mark Phillips, first husband of HRH Princess Anne, who was allegedly known as "Foggy" because he was thick and wet). The Night Watch was even worse. It was for total [[Errol|whittles]]. The Watch motto, as inscribed over the Treacle Mine Road watch-house, had eroded to "Fabricati Diem, Pvnc," which [[Fred Colon]] insisted meant "To Protect and Serve."

By the time of {{G!G!}}, the Night Watch had been reduced to four members, one of them a raw recruit, and permanently housed in Treacle Mine Road. The Day Watch at that time did not use that station, which was just as well because, very soon, a [[Noble dragon]] burned down the building. By the gift of [[Lady Sybil Ramkin]], the Night Watch was moved to a building in [[Pseudopolis Yard]], in posh uptown Ankh-Morpork opposite the [[Opera House]]. The building was large, but the Night Watch morale was habitually low.

Lord Vetinari, in his efforts to modernise [[Ankh-Morpork]], has continually forced the Night Watch to take in members of the despised 'ethnic minorities': trolls, dwarfs, and the undead. This was originally intended to project an image of the modern Ankh-Morpork embracing the ethnic diversity, while really putting the minority members in the Night Watch which nobody saw so nobody would complain. This cultural diversity, coupled with [[Carrot Ironfoundersson|Corporal Carrot]]'s exceptional leadership skills, allowed the Night Watch to bring back a sort of peace and order during a period of ethnic riots (in {{MAA}}).

After dealing with the riots successfully, Vetinari merged the Day Watch, Night Watch, and Palace Guard under [[Sam Vimes]], promoted to the long-dormant knightly rank of Watch Commander, and Carrot, now Captain of the Watch. Carrot lobbied for an increase in the Watch's power; Sir Samuel worked out the details of which police stations to keep, to re-open, or to establish, and how may officers per station, how their shifts and beats are rotated and scattered, etc. This went much further than Vetinari's ideas, but Carrot's powers of persuasion (and some overwhelming debts - whilst never acknowledged - being owed him by Vetinari) led to a strong Watch which has become a police force as term is understood in other areas of the [[Multiverse]].

Sir Samuel also resurrected the [[Cable Street Particulars]], now in the form of plainclothes detectives instead of secret police (because, as Vimes surmised, if you have secret crimes, you need secret policemen). The latest time that they were mentioned, the modern Cable Street Particulars were still housed in the building in Pseudopolis Yard, now the headquarters of the merged Ankh-Morpork City Watch.

The Watch is now a multi-ethnic, creative, pro-active, public-facing ''institution'' - a good job with real prospects, a force for good, a powerful lobby in such councils as take place and an active deterrent to unlicensed crime of all sorts. This is a far cry from the humble beginnings we witness in {{G!G!}}.

Warrant Cards are mentioned for the first time in [[Book:Snuff|Snuff]] where previously, only possession of the badge was necessary to prove one's status as a Watchman. Also, Sam Vimes has somehow found the time to write the definitive book on police procedure - possibly the Watch's answer to the Assassins' [[Concordat]] or the Fool's ''Pune, or Play on Words''.

==Organisation==
The Watch ranks mentioned in the books are, from highest to lowest:
*Commander
*Captain
*Sergeant
*Corporal
*Constable
*Lance-Constable (trainees)

In addition to the regular officers, there are several other divisions of the Watch:
*Cable Street Particulars, the plainclothes detectives for secret crimes (in ''[[Book:Maskerade|Maskerade]]'')
*River Patrol, although the boat keeps sinking in the Ankh, which is probably an amazing feat considering that the Ankh is more than semi-solid (in ''[[Book:The Fifth Elephant|The Fifth Elephant]]'')
*Traffic division (est. {{J}}), which is self-financing and therefore cheerfully abused (they clamped and fined anything that stayed in one place for what they judged to be too long: carts, a troll, a duck, The Patrician's Palace and similar immovable and/or ridiculous objects. (in {{T5E}})
*Forensics (est. {{FOC}}), housed in an unused privy and the cellar in Psuedopolis Yard
*Airborne Section, mainly for surveillance and intelligence gathering (in {{NW}}) and also in {{SN}} featuring [[Wee Mad Arthur]] taking long-distance surveillance and rescue mission, flying on an albatross
*The [[Specials]] or "Citizens Militia", who are unsuitable for the job as a regular Watchman due to profession, age, or even brain (in {{NW}}). Called up in times of great need, by, for example, a young Watchman named Carrot (in {{MAA}}). Includes the [[Librarian]] (of [[Unseen University]]), whom Nobby called "Special Ape Services" (in {{G!G!}}), as well as surprisingly, [[Mr Boggis]] (and his bodyguards) of the [[Thieves' Guild]].
* In [[Book:Mrs Bradshaw's Handbook|Mrs Bradshaw's Handbook]], it is confirmed that a [[Railway Police]] now exists who are (inferentially) at least trained by the City Watch.
* The [[Royal Bank of Ankh-Morpork]] employs its own Watchmen.. While in theory these are responsible directly to the Bank and only secondarily to the City, [[Moist von Lipwig]] noted a good 80% of them are either serving City Watchmen moonlighting for a second income, or else recently discharged former Watchmen. Either way, Vimes wins: the Bank's internal security police might not have to answer to him, but if they know what's good for them on Watch muster the next day, they ''will''.

==Watchhouses==
The watchhouses currently in service are:
*''Headquarters'': [[Pseudopolis Yard]]
*[[Treacle Mine Road Watch House|Treacle Mine Road]] (destroyed in {{G!G!}} and rebuilt in {{NW}})
*[[Cable Street Particulars|Cable Street Particulars HQ]] (destroyed in {{NW}})
*[[Chittling Street]]
*[[Dimwell Street]]
*[[Dolly Sisters]]
*[[King's Way]]
*[[Least Gate]]
*[[Long Wall]]
*[[Nap Hill]]
*[[Broad Way]], the former Day Watch House; may no longer be in service
*''Training'': an old lemonade factory, across the street from Pseudopolis Yard. This is most likely to be the large otherwise un-named building/city block in between [[The Butts|Butts Treat]] and [[Squeezebelly Alley]], just widdershins of the Watch House. (The location on the turnwise side is named as The Screws, which from its name and proximity to the [[Tanty]] suggests it may be accommodation for prison officers.)

(See ''[[Book:The Discworld Companion|The Discworld Companion]]'', {{NW}}.)

==Personnel==
Members of the modern Watch, listed alphabetically, and their ranks at the latest or last mention, include:
* [[André]], Cable Street Particulars
* [[Wee Mad Arthur]], Constable
* [[Bauxite]], Lance-Constable
* [[Bluejohn]], Officer (as of Unseen Academicals)
* [[Brakenshield]], Constable
* [[Chert]], Constable
* [[Fred Colon]], Sergeant, Custordy Officer & Watch Liaison
* [[Cuddy]], Acting-Constable (d.)
* [[Detritus]], Sergeant
* [[Dorfl]], Constable
* [[Downspout]], Constable
* [[Emile]], Captain, on attachment from Le [[Quirm City Watch|Gendarmerie de Quirm]].
* [[Fiddyment]], Constable
* [[Fittly]], Constable
* [[Flint]], Sergeant
* Unnamed [[Gorgon]] Constable
* [[Hacknee]], Constable
* [[Haddock]], Sergeant, doubles as Watchman at the [[Royal Bank of Ankh-Morpork]]
* [[Sally von Humpeding|Salacia "Sally" Delorisista Amanita Trigestrata Zeldana Malifee...von Humpeding]], Captain
* [[Igor#Igor at Ankh-Morpork City Watch, Ankh-Morpork|Igor]], Constable, Forensics, also ER surgeon
* [[Ironbender]], Constable
* [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]], Captain
* [[Precious Jolson]], Constable
* [[Keenside]], Constable
* [[Cheery Littlebottom]], Sergeant, Forensics
* [[Mica]], Constable
* [[Nobby Nobbs|C. W. St. J. "Nobby" Nobbs]], Corporal
* [[A.E. Pessimal]], Inspector
* [[Pediment]], Constable
* [[Ping]], Corporal
* [[Schist]], Constable
* [[Reg Shoe]], Corporal (d. but it hasn't stopped him)
* [[Remitt]] - the Watch Armourer at the time of {{MAA}}
* [[Ringfounder]], Corporal
* [[Rodney]]
* [[Lars Skulldrinker]]
* Lance-Constable [[Slapper]]
* [[Abba Stronginthearm]], Sergeant (d.)
* [[Buggy Swires]], Corporal, Airborne Section
* [[Hrolf Thighbiter]], Constable
* [[Angua von Überwald]], Captain
* His Grace Sir [[Samuel Vimes]] The Duke of Ankh, Commander
* [[Visit-the-Infidel-with-Explanatory-Pamphlets]] ("Washpot"), Constable

The Specials include:
* [[Silas Cumberbatch]], town crier
* [[Andy Hancock|Andy "Two Swords" Hancock]], Clacksman (very enthusiastic wielder of Agatean weaponry)
* [[Boggis|Mr. Boggis]], Head of the Thieves Guild
* [[Harry "Can't Remember His Nickname" Jones]], Bodyguard of Mr. Boggis
* The [[Librarian]], "Special Ape Services"
* [[Vinny "No Ears" Ludd]], Bodyguard of Mr. Boggis
* [[Willikins]], Commander Vimes' butler

Members of the old Watch (Night Watch unless stated):
* [[Cecil Clapman|Cecil "Snouty" Clapman]], gaoler (d.)
* [[Ned Coates]], Lance-Corporal (d.)
* Curry, Corporal (d.)
* [[Dai Dickins]], Sergeant (d.)
* [[Douglas]], Captain, Palace Guard
* Doxie, Captain of the Day Watch during {{RM}}
* [[Herbert Gaskin|Herbert "Leggy" Gaskin]] (d.)
* Hummock, Sergeant, Day Watch
* [[John Keel]], Sergeant-at-Arms (d.)
* [[Kepple]], Sergeant (d.)
* [[Winsborough Knock]], Sergeant
* [[Gerald Leastways]], Cable Street Particulars
* [[Maroon]], Sergeant (d.)
* [[Skully Muldoon]], Sergeant, Day Watch
* [[Horace Nancyball]], Lance-Constable (d.)
* "Mayonnaise" [[Quirke]], Captain, Day Watch (formerly Corporal, Night Watch)
* Scurrick (d.)
* [[Findthee Swing]], Captain, Cable Street Particulars (d.)
* [[Tilden]], Captain
* [[Billy Wiglet]], Constable (d.)

==Workplace Culture==
The modern watch, under the leadership of Commander Vimes (who is cynical and dislikes everything in general) and Captain Carrot (who sees the good in everyone), has the widest ethnic diversity of all organizations or businesses in Ankh-Morpork (with the possible exception of the [[Post Office]]). At last count, members include:

*[[Humans]] with Vimes and Carrot ranking the highest, and Fred Colon being the most senior;
*[[Dwarfs]], Stronginthearm (deceased) and Littlebottom ranking as sergeants;
*[[Trolls]], Detritus and Flint ranking as sergeants;
*[[werewolves|A werewolf]], Angua ranking as Captain;
*[[Gnomes|A gnome]], Swires ranking as corporal;
*[[Nobby_Nobbs|A Nobbs]]. While Nobby carries [[Nobby's note|papers]] declaring him to be human many people believe these to be forged;
*[[Zombies|A zombie]], Reg Shoe;
*[[Golems]], three in Thud!, with Dorfl being the first and so far the only named Golem in the watch;
*[[Gargoyles]], Downspout and Pediment;
*A recent [[vampires|vampire]] recruit, [[Sally von Humpeding]].
*An [[Igor]] whose modern outlook on matters pertaining to medicine (bio-artificing, no lisp and ''ridiculously'' small stitches) have made him outcast in his own community. He is Watch medic, surgeon, and occasional forensic pathologist;
*And an [[Ephebe|Ephebian]] (perhaps they exist in other regions) Medusa who joined between the events of {{UA}} and {{T!}}. Allegedly, she (or he?) turned three people into stone after a gust of wind blown his/her sunglasses off. As [[Ponder Stibbons]] said, even though the [[Faculty|wizards]] restored them, no-one wants to be a statue, even if it was only for half an hour.

It appears that many Watchmen consider all Watchmen as the same class of people and outside of everyday racial or species discrimination. Camaraderie between Watchmen appears to be high and genuine except when the wage chitty is mislaid (see [[Watchmen's Guild]], in {{T5E}}). The modern Watch, in fact, comes from conscripting rioters who were fighting over differences in species. Whether this camaraderie can see the Watch through another major ethnic riot has yet to be seen. Prejudices against ethnic minorities still do exist between Watchmen, such as the common habit of putting articles in the locker of a new recruit (e.g. stepladders and platform shoes for a dwarf). In particular, many humans and some dwarfs worry that the werewolf, Angua (now captain) will attack them, and they make nasty comments about the werewolf when they get a chance. Troll officers worry less about the werewolf, since even a werewolf cannot bite a chunk off a troll.

In the old days, many Watchmen were never eager about the job, since it was not a good idea to die on duty. Practical considerations would also tell a Watchman, however much of an advocate of justice he might be, to refrain from making his wife a widow, because there were no widow's pensions, except a few dollars scraped together by Samuel Vimes (then Captain), which nobody knew about and so weren't taken into consideration. The advice for Carrot in his first days in the Watch was: ''Don't run. Remember Gaskin''. [[Herbert Gaskin|Herbert "Leggy" Gaskin]] was buried just before the events of {{G!G!}}. He chased and actually caught up with a criminal, in foolish disregard of Watch practice.

Nowadays, there is a well-endowed fund for retirement pensions and pensions for widows, orphans, and old parents of Watchmen who died on duty. Another work benefit is emergency surgery by Igor when a Watchman is wounded on the job, a benefit long available to members of many different guilds in Ankh-Morpork (the guilds hired their own doctors), but only recently available to the Watchmen.

New Watchmen are mostly trained by Sergeant Detritus and Sergeant Colon. Detritus can beat (metaphorically) the new recruits into shape, and then they will do anything that Sergeant Colon wants them to. Sergeant Colon will then school them in the more practical and cynical aspects of being a Watchman. After training, a new Watchman works a probation period. Since the Ankh-Morpork City Watch is now famous for its training and accomplishments, after the probation, the new Watchman will often decide to move to other cities because their watches pay a premium to hire an Ankh-Morporkian Watchman. Such constables are known around the Sto Plains as [[Sammies]]. This phenomenon has the extra benefit of creating a network of policemen across the Disc, who have all been trained to salute Commander Vimes and call him "sir".

Captain Carrot, perpetually cheerful and at the same time scrupulously law-abiding, keeps the Watchmen from being another gang of petty criminals. The notable example of this effect is after-work drinking. Like many Ankh-Morporkians, Watchmen go for a drink after work. They usually drink at Mr. Cheese's pub, [[the Bucket]]. Captain Carrot will lecture a Watchman who doesn't pay his tab. On and on. Watchmen have learned to pay their tabs.

==Watch TV Series==
The Ankh-Morpork City Watch is the inspiration for a new BBC America television programme, starring Richard Dormer as Sam Vimes.

See [https://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/bbcstudios/2020/first-look-images-bbc-studios-bbc-america-the-watch-discworld Here] for more information.

==Annotations==
The idea for the Cable Street Particulars may have come from the Baker Street Irregulars, a secret police force of street children formed by Sherlock Holmes. [[Cable Street]] has police connections in our world, which see.

Another interesting crossover between Pratchett and anarchistic author Robert Anton Wilson; in Wilsons's '''''Illuminatus!''''' series novel '''''The Widow's Son''''', which is largely set in Paris in the run-up to the French Revolution, we meet the Paris City Watch. This is commanded by one Antoine de Sartine[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antoine_de_Sartine], a real historical personality, whom Wilson draws as a very familiar Vimes-like figure. De Sartine has a subordinate officer called Lieutenant Loup-Garou. ''Loup-Garou'' is French for ''Werewolf''...

The City Watch novels can be seen as an affectionate parody of Ed McBain's famous "87th Precinct" novel sequence (1956–2005), probably the most influential police procedurals ever written.

Thinking along Ed McBain-like lines, it's worth noting that TP himself has acknowledged a debt to Joseph Wambaugh's seminal novel of the Los Angeles Police Department, '''''the Choirboys''''', which details the everyday lives of the street cops working out of a certain precinct, and how the priorities of the force are not always theirs. Note several things here: the motto of the LAPD is ''To Protect and To Serve'', as uncertainly quoted by Fred Colon in {{G!G!}}.

In Wambaugh's novel, the officers periodically detox themselves with "choir practice" - a euphemism for going out and getting riotously drunk. While the Ankh-Morpork officers have the Bucket for their choir practice sessions, Sally von Humpeding, in {{T!}}, goes one better and actually gets the Watchwomen going out on a pub crawl - she takes the ladies' choir out on the road.

Elsewhere in the fictional police contininuinuum, there is the San Francisco P.D. (Motto: "Oro en Paz, Fierro en Guerra".)One of its (celluloid) officers is Dirty Harry Callahan, whose personal motto is ''Make My Day, Punk'' - a more literal translation of the dog-Latin carved above the watch-house door.

it ocurs to me that in Tom Sharpe's two novels set in apartheid South Africa, '''''Riotous Assembly''''' and '''''Indecent Exposure''''' which centre around the grossly incompetent and disorganised Piemburg Police Force, might well also be an influence here. In general, the South African Police Force as portrayed by Sharpe is an analogue of the Night Watch as we know and love it, but shorn of any graces or redeeming features whatsoever. Another influence on Pratchett?

Character Correspondences:

Liutnant Verkramp (deranged secret policeman) - [[Findthee Swing]]

Sergeant de Knock (fat lazy old-timer) - [[Fred Colon]] (and/or [[Winsborough Knock|Sergeant Knock]])

Konstabel Els (indescribable, trigger-happy psychopath) - [[Nobby Nobbs]] and [[Detritus]] with the [[Piecemaker]]

Kommandant van Heerden: Captain "Mayonnaise" [[Quirke]]

'''Another set of associations:'''
To the '''''Police Academy''''' series of movies, in which an assortment of no-hopers and misfits become police officers, despite themselves. This is most marked in {{MAA}}, although there are also allusions in {{FOC}}.

Character associations:-
*Cadet Carey Mahoney (Steve Guttenberg)
*Cadet Karen Thompson (Kim Cattrall) - [[Angua von Uberwald]]
*Cadet Moses Hightower (Bubba Smith) - [[Detritus]]
*Cadet Leslie Barbara (Donovan Scott)
*Cadet Larvell Jones (Michael Winslow)
*Cadet George Martin (Andrew Rubin)
*Cadet Eugene Tackleberry (David Graf) [[Andy Hancock]]
*Cadet Douglas Fackler (Bruce Mahler)
*Cadet Laverne Hooks (Marion Ramsey) - [[Cheery Littlebottom]]
*Cadet Kyle Blankes (Brant Von Hoffmann)
*Cadet Chad Copeland (Scott Thomson)
* Cadet Carl Sweetchuck - [[A.E. Pessimal]].
*Lt. Thaddeus Harris (G.W. Bailey ) - Captain Mayonnaise [[Quirke]]

[[de:Ankh-Morpork Stadtwache]]
[[Category:Groups|City Watch]]
[[Category:Ankh-Morpork Businesses|City Watch]]

Ankh-Morpork City Watch

2020-03-28T10:48:23Z

Halbared: /* Watch TV Series */

The '''Ankh-Morpork Watch''' (also known as just "The Watch") is [[Ankh-Morpork]]'s police force.

==History==
The Watch and Ward of the Cities of Ankh and Morpork was founded in [[1561 UC]] by King [[Veltrick I]], who also bestowed upon them his personal motto, "Fabricati Diem, Pvncti Agvnt Celeriter," [[Latatian]] for "Make the Day, the Moments Pass Quickly." The Ward, originally the city gate guards, eventually took over thief-taking during daylight hours and became known as the Day Watch, the Watch becoming the Night Watch.

At the time [[Sam Vimes]] enlisted, the Watch comprised four divisions: Day Watch, Night Watch, [[Patrician's Palace|(the Patrician's) Palace]] Guards, and the secret police [[Cable Street Particulars]]. Cable Street Particulars were housed in Cable Street, Palace Guards worked at the palace; Day Watch and Night Watch shared the same police stations, using hour-of-daylight instead of geographic districts to delineate their jurisdictions.

The Cable Street Particulars, an unpopular and much-feared group of secret policemen who spied, jailed citizens without arrest warrants, and tortured them to death, had been taken down during the transition from [[Lord Winder]] to [[Mad Lord Snapcase|Lord Snapcase]] as the Patrician (see {{NW}}).

When first encountered in {{COM}}, Watch officers 'bravely' intervened in a pub fight, but only after "giving 'survivors' ample time to escape via the back door, a neat compromise between caution and justice that benefited all parties"; these were likely the Day Watch officers.

Lord [[Havelock Vetinari]], the [[Patrician]], legalised the [[Thieves' Guild]] and made them regulate their own behaviour, which were mostly what were conventionally thought of as the criminal activities in the city. The Watch slowly became unnecessary, and anyway the Day Watch was headed by a pompous idiot, Captain "Mayonnaise" [[Quirke]], so called because he was thick, oily and smelled of eggs (this may be an oblique reference to Capt. Mark Phillips, first husband of HRH Princess Anne, who was allegedly known as "Foggy" because he was thick and wet). The Night Watch was even worse. It was for total [[Errol|whittles]]. The Watch motto, as inscribed over the Treacle Mine Road watch-house, had eroded to "Fabricati Diem, Pvnc," which [[Fred Colon]] insisted meant "To Protect and Serve."

By the time of {{G!G!}}, the Night Watch had been reduced to four members, one of them a raw recruit, and permanently housed in Treacle Mine Road. The Day Watch at that time did not use that station, which was just as well because, very soon, a [[Noble dragon]] burned down the building. By the gift of [[Lady Sybil Ramkin]], the Night Watch was moved to a building in [[Pseudopolis Yard]], in posh uptown Ankh-Morpork opposite the [[Opera House]]. The building was large, but the Night Watch morale was habitually low.

Lord Vetinari, in his efforts to modernise [[Ankh-Morpork]], has continually forced the Night Watch to take in members of the despised 'ethnic minorities': trolls, dwarfs, and the undead. This was originally intended to project an image of the modern Ankh-Morpork embracing the ethnic diversity, while really putting the minority members in the Night Watch which nobody saw so nobody would complain. This cultural diversity, coupled with [[Carrot Ironfoundersson|Corporal Carrot]]'s exceptional leadership skills, allowed the Night Watch to bring back a sort of peace and order during a period of ethnic riots (in {{MAA}}).

After dealing with the riots successfully, Vetinari merged the Day Watch, Night Watch, and Palace Guard under [[Sam Vimes]], promoted to the long-dormant knightly rank of Watch Commander, and Carrot, now Captain of the Watch. Carrot lobbied for an increase in the Watch's power; Sir Samuel worked out the details of which police stations to keep, to re-open, or to establish, and how may officers per station, how their shifts and beats are rotated and scattered, etc. This went much further than Vetinari's ideas, but Carrot's powers of persuasion (and some overwhelming debts - whilst never acknowledged - being owed him by Vetinari) led to a strong Watch which has become a police force as term is understood in other areas of the [[Multiverse]].

Sir Samuel also resurrected the [[Cable Street Particulars]], now in the form of plainclothes detectives instead of secret police (because, as Vimes surmised, if you have secret crimes, you need secret policemen). The latest time that they were mentioned, the modern Cable Street Particulars were still housed in the building in Pseudopolis Yard, now the headquarters of the merged Ankh-Morpork City Watch.

The Watch is now a multi-ethnic, creative, pro-active, public-facing ''institution'' - a good job with real prospects, a force for good, a powerful lobby in such councils as take place and an active deterrent to unlicensed crime of all sorts. This is a far cry from the humble beginnings we witness in {{G!G!}}.

Warrant Cards are mentioned for the first time in [[Book:Snuff|Snuff]] where previously, only possession of the badge was necessary to prove one's status as a Watchman. Also, Sam Vimes has somehow found the time to write the definitive book on police procedure - possibly the Watch's answer to the Assassins' [[Concordat]] or the Fool's ''Pune, or Play on Words''.

==Organisation==
The Watch ranks mentioned in the books are, from highest to lowest:
*Commander
*Captain
*Sergeant
*Corporal
*Constable
*Lance-Constable (trainees)

In addition to the regular officers, there are several other divisions of the Watch:
*Cable Street Particulars, the plainclothes detectives for secret crimes (in ''[[Book:Maskerade|Maskerade]]'')
*River Patrol, although the boat keeps sinking in the Ankh, which is probably an amazing feat considering that the Ankh is more than semi-solid (in ''[[Book:The Fifth Elephant|The Fifth Elephant]]'')
*Traffic division (est. {{J}}), which is self-financing and therefore cheerfully abused (they clamped and fined anything that stayed in one place for what they judged to be too long: carts, a troll, a duck, The Patrician's Palace and similar immovable and/or ridiculous objects. (in {{T5E}})
*Forensics (est. {{FOC}}), housed in an unused privy and the cellar in Psuedopolis Yard
*Airborne Section, mainly for surveillance and intelligence gathering (in {{NW}}) and also in {{SN}} featuring [[Wee Mad Arthur]] taking long-distance surveillance and rescue mission, flying on an albatross
*The [[Specials]] or "Citizens Militia", who are unsuitable for the job as a regular Watchman due to profession, age, or even brain (in {{NW}}). Called up in times of great need, by, for example, a young Watchman named Carrot (in {{MAA}}). Includes the [[Librarian]] (of [[Unseen University]]), whom Nobby called "Special Ape Services" (in {{G!G!}}), as well as surprisingly, [[Mr Boggis]] (and his bodyguards) of the [[Thieves' Guild]].
* In [[Book:Mrs Bradshaw's Handbook|Mrs Bradshaw's Handbook]], it is confirmed that a [[Railway Police]] now exists who are (inferentially) at least trained by the City Watch.
* The [[Royal Bank of Ankh-Morpork]] employs its own Watchmen.. While in theory these are responsible directly to the Bank and only secondarily to the City, [[Moist von Lipwig]] noted a good 80% of them are either serving City Watchmen moonlighting for a second income, or else recently discharged former Watchmen. Either way, Vimes wins: the Bank's internal security police might not have to answer to him, but if they know what's good for them on Watch muster the next day, they ''will''.

==Watchhouses==
The watchhouses currently in service are:
*''Headquarters'': [[Pseudopolis Yard]]
*[[Treacle Mine Road Watch House|Treacle Mine Road]] (destroyed in {{G!G!}} and rebuilt in {{NW}})
*[[Cable Street Particulars|Cable Street Particulars HQ]] (destroyed in {{NW}})
*[[Chittling Street]]
*[[Dimwell Street]]
*[[Dolly Sisters]]
*[[King's Way]]
*[[Least Gate]]
*[[Long Wall]]
*[[Nap Hill]]
*[[Broad Way]], the former Day Watch House; may no longer be in service
*''Training'': an old lemonade factory, across the street from Pseudopolis Yard. This is most likely to be the large otherwise un-named building/city block in between [[The Butts|Butts Treat]] and [[Squeezebelly Alley]], just widdershins of the Watch House. (The location on the turnwise side is named as The Screws, which from its name and proximity to the [[Tanty]] suggests it may be accommodation for prison officers.)

(See ''[[Book:The Discworld Companion|The Discworld Companion]]'', {{NW}}.)

==Personnel==
Members of the modern Watch, listed alphabetically, and their ranks at the latest or last mention, include:
* [[André]], Cable Street Particulars
* [[Wee Mad Arthur]], Constable
* [[Bauxite]], Lance-Constable
* [[Bluejohn]], Officer (as of Unseen Academicals)
* [[Brakenshield]], Constable
* [[Chert]], Constable
* [[Fred Colon]], Sergeant, Custordy Officer & Watch Liaison
* [[Cuddy]], Acting-Constable (d.)
* [[Detritus]], Sergeant
* [[Dorfl]], Constable
* [[Downspout]], Constable
* [[Emile]], Captain, on attachment from Le [[Quirm City Watch|Gendarmerie de Quirm]].
* [[Fiddyment]], Constable
* [[Fittly]], Constable
* [[Flint]], Sergeant
* Unnamed [[Gorgon]] Constable
* [[Hacknee]], Constable
* [[Haddock]], Sergeant, doubles as Watchman at the [[Royal Bank of Ankh-Morpork]]
* [[Sally von Humpeding|Salacia "Sally" Delorisista Amanita Trigestrata Zeldana Malifee...von Humpeding]], Captain
* [[Igor#Igor at Ankh-Morpork City Watch, Ankh-Morpork|Igor]], Constable, Forensics, also ER surgeon
* [[Ironbender]], Constable
* [[Carrot Ironfoundersson]], Captain
* [[Precious Jolson]], Constable
* [[Keenside]], Constable
* [[Cheery Littlebottom]], Sergeant, Forensics
* [[Mica]], Constable
* [[Nobby Nobbs|C. W. St. J. "Nobby" Nobbs]], Corporal
* [[A.E. Pessimal]], Inspector
* [[Pediment]], Constable
* [[Ping]], Corporal
* [[Schist]], Constable
* [[Reg Shoe]], Corporal (d. but it hasn't stopped him)
* [[Remitt]] - the Watch Armourer at the time of {{MAA}}
* [[Ringfounder]], Corporal
* [[Rodney]]
* [[Lars Skulldrinker]]
* Lance-Constable [[Slapper]]
* [[Abba Stronginthearm]], Sergeant (d.)
* [[Buggy Swires]], Corporal, Airborne Section
* [[Hrolf Thighbiter]], Constable
* [[Angua von Überwald]], Captain
* His Grace Sir [[Samuel Vimes]] The Duke of Ankh, Commander
* [[Visit-the-Infidel-with-Explanatory-Pamphlets]] ("Washpot"), Constable

The Specials include:
* [[Silas Cumberbatch]], town crier
* [[Andy Hancock|Andy "Two Swords" Hancock]], Clacksman (very enthusiastic wielder of Agatean weaponry)
* [[Boggis|Mr. Boggis]], Head of the Thieves Guild
* [[Harry "Can't Remember His Nickname" Jones]], Bodyguard of Mr. Boggis
* The [[Librarian]], "Special Ape Services"
* [[Vinny "No Ears" Ludd]], Bodyguard of Mr. Boggis
* [[Willikins]], Commander Vimes' butler

Members of the old Watch (Night Watch unless stated):
* [[Cecil Clapman|Cecil "Snouty" Clapman]], gaoler (d.)
* [[Ned Coates]], Lance-Corporal (d.)
* Curry, Corporal (d.)
* [[Dai Dickins]], Sergeant (d.)
* [[Douglas]], Captain, Palace Guard
* Doxie, Captain of the Day Watch during {{RM}}
* [[Herbert Gaskin|Herbert "Leggy" Gaskin]] (d.)
* Hummock, Sergeant, Day Watch
* [[John Keel]], Sergeant-at-Arms (d.)
* [[Kepple]], Sergeant (d.)
* [[Winsborough Knock]], Sergeant
* [[Gerald Leastways]], Cable Street Particulars
* [[Maroon]], Sergeant (d.)
* [[Skully Muldoon]], Sergeant, Day Watch
* [[Horace Nancyball]], Lance-Constable (d.)
* "Mayonnaise" [[Quirke]], Captain, Day Watch (formerly Corporal, Night Watch)
* Scurrick (d.)
* [[Findthee Swing]], Captain, Cable Street Particulars (d.)
* [[Tilden]], Captain
* [[Billy Wiglet]], Constable (d.)

==Workplace Culture==
The modern watch, under the leadership of Commander Vimes (who is cynical and dislikes everything in general) and Captain Carrot (who sees the good in everyone), has the widest ethnic diversity of all organizations or businesses in Ankh-Morpork (with the possible exception of the [[Post Office]]). At last count, members include:

*[[Humans]] with Vimes and Carrot ranking the highest, and Fred Colon being the most senior;
*[[Dwarfs]], Stronginthearm (deceased) and Littlebottom ranking as sergeants;
*[[Trolls]], Detritus and Flint ranking as sergeants;
*[[werewolves|A werewolf]], Angua ranking as Captain;
*[[Gnomes|A gnome]], Swires ranking as corporal;
*[[Nobby_Nobbs|A Nobbs]]. While Nobby carries [[Nobby's note|papers]] declaring him to be human many people believe these to be forged;
*[[Zombies|A zombie]], Reg Shoe;
*[[Golems]], three in Thud!, with Dorfl being the first and so far the only named Golem in the watch;
*[[Gargoyles]], Downspout and Pediment;
*A recent [[vampires|vampire]] recruit, [[Sally von Humpeding]].
*An [[Igor]] whose modern outlook on matters pertaining to medicine (bio-artificing, no lisp and ''ridiculously'' small stitches) have made him outcast in his own community. He is Watch medic, surgeon, and occasional forensic pathologist;
*And an [[Ephebe|Ephebian]] (perhaps they exist in other regions) Medusa who joined between the events of {{UA}} and {{T!}}. Allegedly, she (or he?) turned three people into stone after a gust of wind blown his/her sunglasses off. As [[Ponder Stibbons]] said, even though the [[Faculty|wizards]] restored them, no-one wants to be a statue, even if it was only for half an hour.

It appears that many Watchmen consider all Watchmen as the same class of people and outside of everyday racial or species discrimination. Camaraderie between Watchmen appears to be high and genuine except when the wage chitty is mislaid (see [[Watchmen's Guild]], in {{T5E}}). The modern Watch, in fact, comes from conscripting rioters who were fighting over differences in species. Whether this camaraderie can see the Watch through another major ethnic riot has yet to be seen. Prejudices against ethnic minorities still do exist between Watchmen, such as the common habit of putting articles in the locker of a new recruit (e.g. stepladders and platform shoes for a dwarf). In particular, many humans and some dwarfs worry that the werewolf, Angua (now captain) will attack them, and they make nasty comments about the werewolf when they get a chance. Troll officers worry less about the werewolf, since even a werewolf cannot bite a chunk off a troll.

In the old days, many Watchmen were never eager about the job, since it was not a good idea to die on duty. Practical considerations would also tell a Watchman, however much of an advocate of justice he might be, to refrain from making his wife a widow, because there were no widow's pensions, except a few dollars scraped together by Samuel Vimes (then Captain), which nobody knew about and so weren't taken into consideration. The advice for Carrot in his first days in the Watch was: ''Don't run. Remember Gaskin''. [[Herbert Gaskin|Herbert "Leggy" Gaskin]] was buried just before the events of {{G!G!}}. He chased and actually caught up with a criminal, in foolish disregard of Watch practice.

Nowadays, there is a well-endowed fund for retirement pensions and pensions for widows, orphans, and old parents of Watchmen who died on duty. Another work benefit is emergency surgery by Igor when a Watchman is wounded on the job, a benefit long available to members of many different guilds in Ankh-Morpork (the guilds hired their own doctors), but only recently available to the Watchmen.

New Watchmen are mostly trained by Sergeant Detritus and Sergeant Colon. Detritus can beat (metaphorically) the new recruits into shape, and then they will do anything that Sergeant Colon wants them to. Sergeant Colon will then school them in the more practical and cynical aspects of being a Watchman. After training, a new Watchman works a probation period. Since the Ankh-Morpork City Watch is now famous for its training and accomplishments, after the probation, the new Watchman will often decide to move to other cities because their watches pay a premium to hire an Ankh-Morporkian Watchman. Such constables are known around the Sto Plains as [[Sammies]]. This phenomenon has the extra benefit of creating a network of policemen across the Disc, who have all been trained to salute Commander Vimes and call him "sir".

Captain Carrot, perpetually cheerful and at the same time scrupulously law-abiding, keeps the Watchmen from being another gang of petty criminals. The notable example of this effect is after-work drinking. Like many Ankh-Morporkians, Watchmen go for a drink after work. They usually drink at Mr. Cheese's pub, [[the Bucket]]. Captain Carrot will lecture a Watchman who doesn't pay his tab. On and on. Watchmen have learned to pay their tabs.

==Watch TV Series==
The Ankh-Morpork City Watch will is the inspiration for a new BBC America television programme, starring Richard Dormer as Sam Vimes.

See [https://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/bbcstudios/2020/first-look-images-bbc-studios-bbc-america-the-watch-discworld Here] for more information.

==Annotations==
The idea for the Cable Street Particulars may have come from the Baker Street Irregulars, a secret police force of street children formed by Sherlock Holmes. [[Cable Street]] has police connections in our world, which see.

Another interesting crossover between Pratchett and anarchistic author Robert Anton Wilson; in Wilsons's '''''Illuminatus!''''' series novel '''''The Widow's Son''''', which is largely set in Paris in the run-up to the French Revolution, we meet the Paris City Watch. This is commanded by one Antoine de Sartine[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antoine_de_Sartine], a real historical personality, whom Wilson draws as a very familiar Vimes-like figure. De Sartine has a subordinate officer called Lieutenant Loup-Garou. ''Loup-Garou'' is French for ''Werewolf''...

The City Watch novels can be seen as an affectionate parody of Ed McBain's famous "87th Precinct" novel sequence (1956–2005), probably the most influential police procedurals ever written.

Thinking along Ed McBain-like lines, it's worth noting that TP himself has acknowledged a debt to Joseph Wambaugh's seminal novel of the Los Angeles Police Department, '''''the Choirboys''''', which details the everyday lives of the street cops working out of a certain precinct, and how the priorities of the force are not always theirs. Note several things here: the motto of the LAPD is ''To Protect and To Serve'', as uncertainly quoted by Fred Colon in {{G!G!}}.

In Wambaugh's novel, the officers periodically detox themselves with "choir practice" - a euphemism for going out and getting riotously drunk. While the Ankh-Morpork officers have the Bucket for their choir practice sessions, Sally von Humpeding, in {{T!}}, goes one better and actually gets the Watchwomen going out on a pub crawl - she takes the ladies' choir out on the road.

Elsewhere in the fictional police contininuinuum, there is the San Francisco P.D. (Motto: "Oro en Paz, Fierro en Guerra".)One of its (celluloid) officers is Dirty Harry Callahan, whose personal motto is ''Make My Day, Punk'' - a more literal translation of the dog-Latin carved above the watch-house door.

it ocurs to me that in Tom Sharpe's two novels set in apartheid South Africa, '''''Riotous Assembly''''' and '''''Indecent Exposure''''' which centre around the grossly incompetent and disorganised Piemburg Police Force, might well also be an influence here. In general, the South African Police Force as portrayed by Sharpe is an analogue of the Night Watch as we know and love it, but shorn of any graces or redeeming features whatsoever. Another influence on Pratchett?

Character Correspondences:

Liutnant Verkramp (deranged secret policeman) - [[Findthee Swing]]

Sergeant de Knock (fat lazy old-timer) - [[Fred Colon]] (and/or [[Winsborough Knock|Sergeant Knock]])

Konstabel Els (indescribable, trigger-happy psychopath) - [[Nobby Nobbs]] and [[Detritus]] with the [[Piecemaker]]

Kommandant van Heerden: Captain "Mayonnaise" [[Quirke]]

'''Another set of associations:'''
To the '''''Police Academy''''' series of movies, in which an assortment of no-hopers and misfits become police officers, despite themselves. This is most marked in {{MAA}}, although there are also allusions in {{FOC}}.

Character associations:-
*Cadet Carey Mahoney (Steve Guttenberg)
*Cadet Karen Thompson (Kim Cattrall) - [[Angua von Uberwald]]
*Cadet Moses Hightower (Bubba Smith) - [[Detritus]]
*Cadet Leslie Barbara (Donovan Scott)
*Cadet Larvell Jones (Michael Winslow)
*Cadet George Martin (Andrew Rubin)
*Cadet Eugene Tackleberry (David Graf) [[Andy Hancock]]
*Cadet Douglas Fackler (Bruce Mahler)
*Cadet Laverne Hooks (Marion Ramsey) - [[Cheery Littlebottom]]
*Cadet Kyle Blankes (Brant Von Hoffmann)
*Cadet Chad Copeland (Scott Thomson)
* Cadet Carl Sweetchuck - [[A.E. Pessimal]].
*Lt. Thaddeus Harris (G.W. Bailey ) - Captain Mayonnaise [[Quirke]]

[[de:Ankh-Morpork Stadtwache]]
[[Category:Groups|City Watch]]
[[Category:Ankh-Morpork Businesses|City Watch]]

Lacrimosa de Magpyr

2016-02-04T23:05:21Z

Halbared:

Lacrimosa de Magpyr, is a character from {{CJ}} introduced by rolling a rock onto [[pictsies]]. Physically she is resembles a normal teenager, though being a vampire she is two hundred years old. Lacrimosa has a spiteful, sadistic and malevolent personalty, and has no redeeming features of the other vampires in her immediate family. Activities which she shows interest in are; torture, murder, control, feeding on humans.
Lacrimosa has no scruples in acting to her vampire instincts to the fullest and in revealing these to others, vampires and humans alike.

[[Agnes Nitt]] longs to stick a pin in her.

She is well named, however: 'lachrymose' means 'causing or tending to cause tears'. Which she does. A perfect name for a [[Vampires|vampire]], then. She is related to [[Count de Magpyr]], [[Vlad|Vlad de Magpyr]] and - ancestrally - Count [[Bela de Magpyr]].

Lacrimosa acts as an obvious teenager, with traits such as ; surliness, rebelliousness and being argumentative. She argues with her parents and brother throughout the book and is casually cruel to everyone, showing an greater appetite for violence than her fellow vampires.

{{stub}}

[[category:Discworld characters|Magpyr, Lacrimosa]]
[[Category:Undead characters|Magpyr, Lacrimosa]]
[[de:Lacrimosa de Elstyr]]

Lacrimosa de Magpyr

2016-02-04T23:05:05Z

Halbared:

Lacrimosa de Magpyr, is a character from {{CJ}}) introduced by rolling a rock onto [[pictsies]]. Physically she is resembles a normal teenager, though being a vampire she is two hundred years old. Lacrimosa has a spiteful, sadistic and malevolent personalty, and has no redeeming features of the other vampires in her immediate family. Activities which she shows interest in are; torture, murder, control, feeding on humans.
Lacrimosa has no scruples in acting to her vampire instincts to the fullest and in revealing these to others, vampires and humans alike.

[[Agnes Nitt]] longs to stick a pin in her.

She is well named, however: 'lachrymose' means 'causing or tending to cause tears'. Which she does. A perfect name for a [[Vampires|vampire]], then. She is related to [[Count de Magpyr]], [[Vlad|Vlad de Magpyr]] and - ancestrally - Count [[Bela de Magpyr]].

Lacrimosa acts as an obvious teenager, with traits such as ; surliness, rebelliousness and being argumentative. She argues with her parents and brother throughout the book and is casually cruel to everyone, showing an greater appetite for violence than her fellow vampires.

{{stub}}

[[category:Discworld characters|Magpyr, Lacrimosa]]
[[Category:Undead characters|Magpyr, Lacrimosa]]
[[de:Lacrimosa de Elstyr]]

Book:The Shepherd's Crown

2016-01-31T10:37:40Z

Halbared:

{{Book Data
|title=The Shepherd's Crown
|cover=
[[File:tsc.jpg|240px|Cover art by Paul Kidby]]
|illustrator=Paul Kidby
|date=27 Aug, 2015
|publisher=Doubleday
|isbn=0857534815
|pages=343
|rrp=£20.00
|series=Tiffany Series
|characters=[[Tiffany Aching]]
|annotations= yes
|notes=The forty-first Discworld novel
}}

Released on Thursday 27th August 2015.

==Publisher's Blurb:==
A SHIVERING OF WORLDS

Deep in the Chalk, something is stirring. The owls and the foxes can sense it, and Tiffany Aching feels it in her boots. An old enemy is gathering strength.

This is a time of endings and beginnings, old friends and new, a blurring of edges and a shifting of power. Now Tiffany stands between the light and the dark, the good and the bad.

As the fairy horde prepares for invasion, Tiffany must summon all the witches to stand with her. To protect the land. Her land.

There will be a reckoning . . .

{{death|the final discworld novel}}

==Main Characters==
*[[Tiffany Aching]]
*[[Queen of the Elves|Nightshade]]
*[[Peaseblossom]]
*[[Geoffrey Swivel]]
*[[Esme Weatherwax]]

==Other Characters ==
*[[Joe Aching]]
*The [[Chalk Hill Clan]]
*[[Death]]
*[[Letice Earwig]]
*[[Magrat Garlick]]
*[[Jeannie]]
*[[Letitia Keepsake]]
*[[McTavish]]
*[[Mephistopheles]]
*[[Of the Lathe the Swarf]]
*The [[King of the Elves]]
*[[Gytha Ogg]]
*[[Preston]]
*[[Eunice Proust]]
*[[Mustrum Ridcully]]
*[[Roland]]
*[[Laughing Boy Sideways]]
*[[Perspicacia Tick]]
*[[You]]

==External links==
* [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/books/authors/terry-pratchett-wanted-different-ending-shepherds-crown/ ''Neil Gaiman reveals the real ending Terry Pratchett wanted for The Shepherd's Crown'']

{{series|series=Discworld|before=Raising Steam|after=}}
{{series|series=Tiffany|before=I Shall Wear Midnight|after=}}

[[Category:Discworld Series|Shepherd's Crown, The]]
[[Category:Tiffany Series|Shepherd's Crown, The]]
[[Category:Children's books|Shepherd's Crown, The]]

Agnes Nitt

2016-01-31T10:31:21Z

Halbared:

'''Agnes Nitt''' is the "maiden" in the coven of [[Lancre]].
{{Character Data
|title= Agnes Nitt
|photo=agnesmine.jpg|Agnes and Perdita by [[user:darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name= Agnes Nitt
|age=
|race= [[Humans|Human]]
|occupation= [[Witches|Witch]]
|appearance= Short, fat, rosy complexion, good hair, great personality
|residence= [[Mad Stoat]], [[Lancre]]
|death=
|parents= [[Terminal Nitt|Terminal Thomas]]; mother
|relatives= unnamed brother, Aunt May in Creel Springs, uncles Primal and Decimal
|children=
|marital status= Maiden
|books= {{LL}}, {{M!!!}}, {{CJ}}, {{TSC}}
}}
= Biography =
Agnes is the daughter of [[Terminal Nitt|Terminal Thomas 'Threepenny' Nitt]]. As a child, Agnes had always blamed "the other little girl" for the wrong things that she did. This may have been the beginning of Agnes' [[Imaginary Friend|second persona]] ''Perdita''.

At the age of 17 Agnes was a member of an amateur coven led by [[Lucy Tockley]]. Lucy renamed herself Diamanda to sound more occult, and this inspired Agnes to create the alias of Perdita. At the time Agnes was short with a naturally rosy complexion, a great personality, and good hair. At some point in her upbringing Agnes was trained in singing by [[Nanny Ogg]]. Agnes eventually traveled to [[Ankh-Morpork]] to find a more exciting life. She was able to support herself for a time singing in taverns and eventually auditioned to join the [[Opera House|Ankh Morpork Opera]]. Her career at the Opera House consisted largely of 'ghosting' roles for a less competent singer, [[Christine]]. Agnes eventually left the Opera House at the conclusion of the events in [[Book:Maskerade|Maskerade]].

Agnes currently tours as a singer with a theatrical company and practising witch from her base in Quirm, as of the events in The Shepherd's Crown.

=Perdita X. Dream=
The pseudonym 'Perdita X Dream' which Agnes created during her time in Lucy Tockley's coven, and used as her stage name while an Opera singer, eventually developed into a full blown [[Imaginary Friend|second personality]]. During the events recorded in {{LL}}, Agnes plays only a small part and Perdita is not yet much beyond an alternative personality; in {{M!!!}} she shows much more independence, but still seems like a unusually well-formed 'voice on the shoulder', thinking naughty thoughts. It is only in {{CJ}} that Agnes and Perdita appear as fully separate personalities. She is [[Imaginary Friend|almost unique]] among the witches in having a second personality - this granted her a partial immunity to mind influence by vampires.

The Agnes/Perdita split, like Agnes's singing voice, may be an artifact of Agnes's latent magical abilities. Agnes describes Perdita as the voice inside her which wants to do all the fun things that she wouldn't normally do. Agnes gave this inner personality a separate name. The reason for this, at least according to those who are inclined to casual cruelty, is that: "Inside a fat girl there is a thin girl and a lot of [[Chocolate|chocolate]]. Agnes's thin girl was Perdita." Agnes regards Perdita as vain, selfish and vicious. Perdita regards Agnes as a "fat, pathetic, weak-willed blob that people would walk all over were she not so steep". Perdita does not seem to ever have made any attempts to leave Agnes's body however, and merely remains inside and dreams ridiculous daydreams.

While it seems to be a one-time mention, it is said in {{M!!!}} that the Lancrastian natives refer to Perdita as 'Perditax,' combining the first name and middle initial. Granny even does this at one point, though she is corrected by Nanny Ogg, who feels as if people ought to call themselves what they want.

According to Agnes, the 'X' stands for "someone who has a cool and exciting middle initial," something she sticks to throughout the events of {{M!!!}}, though when she auditions she thinks that she is "probably stuck with the 'Nitt.'"

=Characteristics=
==Hair==
Agnes has lots of hair. Good, big hair in fact. Well not so much big hair as enormous hair, as if it is trying to counterbalance her body. It is glossy, never splits, and is extremely well-behaved, except for a tendency to eat combs.

==Clothing==
Easily swayed by her more imaginative friends, young Agnes wore black, had a black hat with a veil and even a black hanky (considered by [[Nanny Ogg]] to be "good for hiding the bogeys"), giving the effect of a small, low-riding thunderstorm. Even after she parted ways with Diamanda and the others, Perdita retained her liking for black, considering it "cool". Agnes however, now "thought that black was not a good colour for the circumferentially-challenged, and that 'cool' was a dumb word used only by people whose brains couldn't fit a spoon".

Despite her love of black, she still had two shelves of soft, cuddly toys at home with her mother.

==Singing Ability==
Agnes, unlike most of her friends in the coven, did actually possess some magical talent, and as so often happens, magical talent given no exercise finds an outlet in other forms of expression. In Agnes's case it focused on her incredible singing voice, giving her the somewhat disquieting ability to reproduce practically any pitch and even to sing in harmony with herself ("Perdita had rather a reedy voice, but insisted on joining in").

=As a Witch=
After realising that without [[Magrat Garlick|Magrat]] available to be bossed around and make tea for them, what with her being Queen and all, Nanny Ogg and [[Granny Weatherwax]] decided that Agnes would be an ideal choice for a new third witch. Unfortunately for them, however, Agnes had just left for the [[Ankh-Morpork]] [[Opera House]] to pursue her unnatural talent. After the events of {{M!!!}} transpired, Agnes began to realise that one has little choice when magic calls, and also that when choosing between someone with amazing talent, a great personality and good hair, and someone who merely looks stunning, the world doesn't hesitate either. She then took over the cottage and steading in [[Mad Stoat]] and the role of "maiden" in the Lancre coven. Recently, as noted in {{TSC}}, Agnes balances her witchcraft role with her full-time job as a singer.

[[Category:Discworld characters|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[Category:Leading characters|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[Category:Serial characters|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[Category:Human characters|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[Category:Witches|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[de:Agnes Nitt]]

Agnes Nitt

2016-01-31T10:30:24Z

Halbared: /* As a Witch */

'''Agnes Nitt''' is the "maiden" in the coven of [[Lancre]].
{{Character Data
|title= Agnes Nitt
|photo=agnesmine.jpg|Agnes and Perdita by [[user:darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name= Agnes Nitt
|age=
|race= [[Humans|Human]]
|occupation= [[Witches|Witch]]
|appearance= Short, fat, rosy complexion, good hair, great personality
|residence= [[Mad Stoat]], [[Lancre]]
|death=
|parents= [[Terminal Nitt|Terminal Thomas]]; mother
|relatives= unnamed brother, Aunt May in Creel Springs, uncles Primal and Decimal
|children=
|marital status= Maiden
|books= {{LL}}, {{M!!!}}, {{CJ}}
}}
= Biography =
Agnes is the daughter of [[Terminal Nitt|Terminal Thomas 'Threepenny' Nitt]]. As a child, Agnes had always blamed "the other little girl" for the wrong things that she did. This may have been the beginning of Agnes' [[Imaginary Friend|second persona]] ''Perdita''.

At the age of 17 Agnes was a member of an amateur coven led by [[Lucy Tockley]]. Lucy renamed herself Diamanda to sound more occult, and this inspired Agnes to create the alias of Perdita. At the time Agnes was short with a naturally rosy complexion, a great personality, and good hair. At some point in her upbringing Agnes was trained in singing by [[Nanny Ogg]]. Agnes eventually traveled to [[Ankh-Morpork]] to find a more exciting life. She was able to support herself for a time singing in taverns and eventually auditioned to join the [[Opera House|Ankh Morpork Opera]]. Her career at the Opera House consisted largely of 'ghosting' roles for a less competent singer, [[Christine]]. Agnes eventually left the Opera House at the conclusion of the events in [[Book:Maskerade|Maskerade]].

Agnes currently tours as a singer with a theatrical company and practising witch from her base in Quirm, as of the events in The Shepherd's Crown.

=Perdita X. Dream=
The pseudonym 'Perdita X Dream' which Agnes created during her time in Lucy Tockley's coven, and used as her stage name while an Opera singer, eventually developed into a full blown [[Imaginary Friend|second personality]]. During the events recorded in {{LL}}, Agnes plays only a small part and Perdita is not yet much beyond an alternative personality; in {{M!!!}} she shows much more independence, but still seems like a unusually well-formed 'voice on the shoulder', thinking naughty thoughts. It is only in {{CJ}} that Agnes and Perdita appear as fully separate personalities. She is [[Imaginary Friend|almost unique]] among the witches in having a second personality - this granted her a partial immunity to mind influence by vampires.

The Agnes/Perdita split, like Agnes's singing voice, may be an artifact of Agnes's latent magical abilities. Agnes describes Perdita as the voice inside her which wants to do all the fun things that she wouldn't normally do. Agnes gave this inner personality a separate name. The reason for this, at least according to those who are inclined to casual cruelty, is that: "Inside a fat girl there is a thin girl and a lot of [[Chocolate|chocolate]]. Agnes's thin girl was Perdita." Agnes regards Perdita as vain, selfish and vicious. Perdita regards Agnes as a "fat, pathetic, weak-willed blob that people would walk all over were she not so steep". Perdita does not seem to ever have made any attempts to leave Agnes's body however, and merely remains inside and dreams ridiculous daydreams.

While it seems to be a one-time mention, it is said in {{M!!!}} that the Lancrastian natives refer to Perdita as 'Perditax,' combining the first name and middle initial. Granny even does this at one point, though she is corrected by Nanny Ogg, who feels as if people ought to call themselves what they want.

According to Agnes, the 'X' stands for "someone who has a cool and exciting middle initial," something she sticks to throughout the events of {{M!!!}}, though when she auditions she thinks that she is "probably stuck with the 'Nitt.'"

=Characteristics=
==Hair==
Agnes has lots of hair. Good, big hair in fact. Well not so much big hair as enormous hair, as if it is trying to counterbalance her body. It is glossy, never splits, and is extremely well-behaved, except for a tendency to eat combs.

==Clothing==
Easily swayed by her more imaginative friends, young Agnes wore black, had a black hat with a veil and even a black hanky (considered by [[Nanny Ogg]] to be "good for hiding the bogeys"), giving the effect of a small, low-riding thunderstorm. Even after she parted ways with Diamanda and the others, Perdita retained her liking for black, considering it "cool". Agnes however, now "thought that black was not a good colour for the circumferentially-challenged, and that 'cool' was a dumb word used only by people whose brains couldn't fit a spoon".

Despite her love of black, she still had two shelves of soft, cuddly toys at home with her mother.

==Singing Ability==
Agnes, unlike most of her friends in the coven, did actually possess some magical talent, and as so often happens, magical talent given no exercise finds an outlet in other forms of expression. In Agnes's case it focused on her incredible singing voice, giving her the somewhat disquieting ability to reproduce practically any pitch and even to sing in harmony with herself ("Perdita had rather a reedy voice, but insisted on joining in").

=As a Witch=
After realising that without [[Magrat Garlick|Magrat]] available to be bossed around and make tea for them, what with her being Queen and all, Nanny Ogg and [[Granny Weatherwax]] decided that Agnes would be an ideal choice for a new third witch. Unfortunately for them, however, Agnes had just left for the [[Ankh-Morpork]] [[Opera House]] to pursue her unnatural talent. After the events of {{M!!!}} transpired, Agnes began to realise that one has little choice when magic calls, and also that when choosing between someone with amazing talent, a great personality and good hair, and someone who merely looks stunning, the world doesn't hesitate either. She then took over the cottage and steading in [[Mad Stoat]] and the role of "maiden" in the Lancre coven. Recently, as noted in {{TSC}}, Agnes balances her witchcraft role with her full-time job as a singer.

[[Category:Discworld characters|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[Category:Leading characters|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[Category:Serial characters|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[Category:Human characters|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[Category:Witches|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[de:Agnes Nitt]]

Agnes Nitt

2016-01-31T10:28:53Z

Halbared: /* Biography */

'''Agnes Nitt''' is the "maiden" in the coven of [[Lancre]].
{{Character Data
|title= Agnes Nitt
|photo=agnesmine.jpg|Agnes and Perdita by [[user:darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name= Agnes Nitt
|age=
|race= [[Humans|Human]]
|occupation= [[Witches|Witch]]
|appearance= Short, fat, rosy complexion, good hair, great personality
|residence= [[Mad Stoat]], [[Lancre]]
|death=
|parents= [[Terminal Nitt|Terminal Thomas]]; mother
|relatives= unnamed brother, Aunt May in Creel Springs, uncles Primal and Decimal
|children=
|marital status= Maiden
|books= {{LL}}, {{M!!!}}, {{CJ}}
}}
= Biography =
Agnes is the daughter of [[Terminal Nitt|Terminal Thomas 'Threepenny' Nitt]]. As a child, Agnes had always blamed "the other little girl" for the wrong things that she did. This may have been the beginning of Agnes' [[Imaginary Friend|second persona]] ''Perdita''.

At the age of 17 Agnes was a member of an amateur coven led by [[Lucy Tockley]]. Lucy renamed herself Diamanda to sound more occult, and this inspired Agnes to create the alias of Perdita. At the time Agnes was short with a naturally rosy complexion, a great personality, and good hair. At some point in her upbringing Agnes was trained in singing by [[Nanny Ogg]]. Agnes eventually traveled to [[Ankh-Morpork]] to find a more exciting life. She was able to support herself for a time singing in taverns and eventually auditioned to join the [[Opera House|Ankh Morpork Opera]]. Her career at the Opera House consisted largely of 'ghosting' roles for a less competent singer, [[Christine]]. Agnes eventually left the Opera House at the conclusion of the events in [[Book:Maskerade|Maskerade]].

Agnes currently tours as a singer with a theatrical company and practising witch from her base in Quirm, as of the events in The Shepherd's Crown.

=Perdita X. Dream=
The pseudonym 'Perdita X Dream' which Agnes created during her time in Lucy Tockley's coven, and used as her stage name while an Opera singer, eventually developed into a full blown [[Imaginary Friend|second personality]]. During the events recorded in {{LL}}, Agnes plays only a small part and Perdita is not yet much beyond an alternative personality; in {{M!!!}} she shows much more independence, but still seems like a unusually well-formed 'voice on the shoulder', thinking naughty thoughts. It is only in {{CJ}} that Agnes and Perdita appear as fully separate personalities. She is [[Imaginary Friend|almost unique]] among the witches in having a second personality - this granted her a partial immunity to mind influence by vampires.

The Agnes/Perdita split, like Agnes's singing voice, may be an artifact of Agnes's latent magical abilities. Agnes describes Perdita as the voice inside her which wants to do all the fun things that she wouldn't normally do. Agnes gave this inner personality a separate name. The reason for this, at least according to those who are inclined to casual cruelty, is that: "Inside a fat girl there is a thin girl and a lot of [[Chocolate|chocolate]]. Agnes's thin girl was Perdita." Agnes regards Perdita as vain, selfish and vicious. Perdita regards Agnes as a "fat, pathetic, weak-willed blob that people would walk all over were she not so steep". Perdita does not seem to ever have made any attempts to leave Agnes's body however, and merely remains inside and dreams ridiculous daydreams.

While it seems to be a one-time mention, it is said in {{M!!!}} that the Lancrastian natives refer to Perdita as 'Perditax,' combining the first name and middle initial. Granny even does this at one point, though she is corrected by Nanny Ogg, who feels as if people ought to call themselves what they want.

According to Agnes, the 'X' stands for "someone who has a cool and exciting middle initial," something she sticks to throughout the events of {{M!!!}}, though when she auditions she thinks that she is "probably stuck with the 'Nitt.'"

=Characteristics=
==Hair==
Agnes has lots of hair. Good, big hair in fact. Well not so much big hair as enormous hair, as if it is trying to counterbalance her body. It is glossy, never splits, and is extremely well-behaved, except for a tendency to eat combs.

==Clothing==
Easily swayed by her more imaginative friends, young Agnes wore black, had a black hat with a veil and even a black hanky (considered by [[Nanny Ogg]] to be "good for hiding the bogeys"), giving the effect of a small, low-riding thunderstorm. Even after she parted ways with Diamanda and the others, Perdita retained her liking for black, considering it "cool". Agnes however, now "thought that black was not a good colour for the circumferentially-challenged, and that 'cool' was a dumb word used only by people whose brains couldn't fit a spoon".

Despite her love of black, she still had two shelves of soft, cuddly toys at home with her mother.

==Singing Ability==
Agnes, unlike most of her friends in the coven, did actually possess some magical talent, and as so often happens, magical talent given no exercise finds an outlet in other forms of expression. In Agnes's case it focused on her incredible singing voice, giving her the somewhat disquieting ability to reproduce practically any pitch and even to sing in harmony with herself ("Perdita had rather a reedy voice, but insisted on joining in").

=As a Witch=
After realising that without [[Magrat Garlick|Magrat]] available to be bossed around and make tea for them, what with her being Queen and all, Nanny Ogg and [[Granny Weatherwax]] decided that Agnes would be an ideal choice for a new third witch. Unfortunately for them, however, Agnes had just left for the [[Ankh-Morpork]] [[Opera House]] to pursue her unnatural talent. After the events of {{M!!!}} transpired, Agnes began to realise that one has little choice when magic calls, and also that when choosing between someone with amazing talent, a great personality and good hair, and someone who merely looks stunning, the world doesn't hesitate either. She then took over the cottage and steading in [[Mad Stoat]] and the role of "maiden" in the Lancre coven. Recently, as noted in {{TSC}}, she seems to have given up full-time Witchcraft and returned to a singing career.

[[Category:Discworld characters|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[Category:Leading characters|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[Category:Serial characters|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[Category:Human characters|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[Category:Witches|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[de:Agnes Nitt]]

User talk:Halbared

2016-01-27T21:14:50Z

Halbared:

Hi. While I approve, personally, of deleting "non factual, personal comment" and a lot of other graffiti and blather, that's what many annotations are and people seem to love them more than anything else. Let's hope no one complains (maybe you could do some more). --[[User:Old Dickens|Old Dickens]] ([[User talk:Old Dickens|talk]]) 16:21, 26 January 2016 (UTC)
:Hi, I'd like to. The one on Agnes' page seemed rather, confrontational, also, it was factually inaccurate. PTery constantly refers to the physical characteristics of all characters, and the girth if wizards is a constant and one of the oldest in the series, so I feel it failed on accuracy as well as spirit. I'll have to finish TSC before I edit another article. :) [[User:Halbared|Halbared]] ([[User talk:Halbared|talk]]) 21:14, 27 January 2016 (UTC)

User:Halbared

2016-01-26T09:51:22Z

Halbared:

Been a fan since 1987, have all the books.
Just reread the witches series and started on the Shepherds Crown.
Con in August. :D

Agnes Nitt

2016-01-26T09:49:04Z

Halbared: non factual, personal comment

'''Agnes Nitt''' is the "maiden" in the coven of [[Lancre]].
{{Character Data
|title= Agnes Nitt
|photo=agnesmine.jpg|Agnes and Perdita by [[user:darkplush|Kit Cox]]
|name= Agnes Nitt
|age=
|race= [[Humans|Human]]
|occupation= [[Witches|Witch]]
|appearance= Short, fat, rosy complexion, good hair, great personality
|residence= [[Mad Stoat]], [[Lancre]]
|death=
|parents= [[Terminal Nitt|Terminal Thomas]]; mother
|relatives= unnamed brother, Aunt May in Creel Springs, uncles Primal and Decimal
|children=
|marital status= Maiden
|books= {{LL}}, {{M!!!}}, {{CJ}}
}}
= Biography =
Agnes is the daughter of [[Terminal Nitt|Terminal Thomas 'Threepenny' Nitt]]. As a child, Agnes had always blamed "the other little girl" for the wrong things that she did. This may have been the beginning of Agnes' [[Imaginary Friend|second persona]] ''Perdita''.

At the age of 17 Agnes was a member of an amateur coven led by [[Lucy Tockley]]. Lucy renamed herself Diamanda to sound more occult, and this inspired Agnes to create the alias of Perdita. At the time Agnes was short with a naturally rosy complexion, a great personality, and good hair. At some point in her upbringing Agnes was trained in singing by [[Nanny Ogg]]. Agnes eventually traveled to [[Ankh-Morpork]] to find a more exciting life. She was able to support herself for a time singing in taverns and eventually auditioned to join the [[Opera House|Ankh Morpork Opera]]. Her career at the Opera House consisted largely of 'ghosting' roles for a less competent singer, [[Christine]]. Agnes eventually left the Opera House at the conclusion of the events in [[Book:Maskerade|Maskerade]].

Agnes currently lives in the cottage formerly occupied by [[Goodie Whemper]] and [[Magrat Garlick]], in [[Mad Stoat]].

=Perdita X. Dream=
The pseudonym 'Perdita X Dream' which Agnes created during her time in Lucy Tockley's coven, and used as her stage name while an Opera singer, eventually developed into a full blown [[Imaginary Friend|second personality]]. During the events recorded in {{LL}}, Agnes plays only a small part and Perdita is not yet much beyond an alternative personality; in {{M!!!}} she shows much more independence, but still seems like a unusually well-formed 'voice on the shoulder', thinking naughty thoughts. It is only in {{CJ}} that Agnes and Perdita appear as fully separate personalities. She is [[Imaginary Friend|almost unique]] among the witches in having a second personality - this granted her a partial immunity to mind influence by vampires.

The Agnes/Perdita split, like Agnes's singing voice, may be an artifact of Agnes's latent magical abilities. Agnes describes Perdita as the voice inside her which wants to do all the fun things that she wouldn't normally do. Agnes gave this inner personality a separate name. The reason for this, at least according to those who are inclined to casual cruelty, is that: "Inside a fat girl there is a thin girl and a lot of [[Chocolate|chocolate]]. Agnes's thin girl was Perdita." Agnes regards Perdita as vain, selfish and vicious. Perdita regards Agnes as a "fat, pathetic, weak-willed blob that people would walk all over were she not so steep". Perdita does not seem to ever have made any attempts to leave Agnes's body however, and merely remains inside and dreams ridiculous daydreams.

While it seems to be a one-time mention, it is said in {{M!!!}} that the Lancrastian natives refer to Perdita as 'Perditax,' combining the first name and middle initial. Granny even does this at one point, though she is corrected by Nanny Ogg, who feels as if people ought to call themselves what they want.

According to Agnes, the 'X' stands for "someone who has a cool and exciting middle initial," something she sticks to throughout the events of {{M!!!}}, though when she auditions she thinks that she is "probably stuck with the 'Nitt.'"

=Characteristics=
==Hair==
Agnes has lots of hair. Good, big hair in fact. Well not so much big hair as enormous hair, as if it is trying to counterbalance her body. It is glossy, never splits, and is extremely well-behaved, except for a tendency to eat combs.

==Clothing==
Easily swayed by her more imaginative friends, young Agnes wore black, had a black hat with a veil and even a black hanky (considered by [[Nanny Ogg]] to be "good for hiding the bogeys"), giving the effect of a small, low-riding thunderstorm. Even after she parted ways with Diamanda and the others, Perdita retained her liking for black, considering it "cool". Agnes however, now "thought that black was not a good colour for the circumferentially-challenged, and that 'cool' was a dumb word used only by people whose brains couldn't fit a spoon".

Despite her love of black, she still had two shelves of soft, cuddly toys at home with her mother.

==Singing Ability==
Agnes, unlike most of her friends in the coven, did actually possess some magical talent, and as so often happens, magical talent given no exercise finds an outlet in other forms of expression. In Agnes's case it focused on her incredible singing voice, giving her the somewhat disquieting ability to reproduce practically any pitch and even to sing in harmony with herself ("Perdita had rather a reedy voice, but insisted on joining in").

=As a Witch=
After realising that without [[Magrat Garlick|Magrat]] available to be bossed around and make tea for them, what with her being Queen and all, Nanny Ogg and [[Granny Weatherwax]] decided that Agnes would be an ideal choice for a new third witch. Unfortunately for them, however, Agnes had just left for the [[Ankh-Morpork]] [[Opera House]] to pursue her unnatural talent. After the events of {{M!!!}} transpired, Agnes began to realise that one has little choice when magic calls, and also that when choosing between someone with amazing talent, a great personality and good hair, and someone who merely looks stunning, the world doesn't hesitate either. She then took over the cottage and steading in [[Mad Stoat]] and the role of "maiden" in the Lancre coven. Recently, as noted in {{TSC}}, she seems to have given up full-time Witchcraft and returned to a singing career.

==Annotation==

[[Category:Discworld characters|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[Category:Leading characters|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[Category:Serial characters|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[Category:Human characters|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[Category:Witches|Nitt, Agnes]]
[[de:Agnes Nitt]]

Blind Io

2013-08-15T22:47:44Z

Halbared:

Chief of [[the gods]] of the [[Discworld (world)|Discworld]]. It is said that he isn't originally a Discworld god, that his universe suffered some catastrophe and he escaped and settled down on the Discworld. If that is true, he certainly has adapted well. If one really pays attention while listening to a high priest discussing the current celestial situation, one will realize that the celestial politics sound very much like a soap opera (see ''[[Book:Reaper Man|Reaper Man]]''). Regardless of this, nobody seems to challenge Blind Io's position as chief of the gods. The celestial politics are played not god-against-god, but believers-against-believers, or other playing pieces chosen against their will by the gods. Often, the winner of the game is either [[the Lady]] or [[Fate]], but Blind Io remains chief of the gods, because he has the most believers. Blind Io is The Thunder God. In other fields, there may be, for example, one rain god worshipped in [[Ankh-Morpork]] and another rain god worshipped in [[Howondaland]]. Blind Io manages to be the Thunder God all over the Disc by diligently wielding the thunders and making appearances all over the Disc, wearing false moustaches and other accessories, and switching between different thunder-hammers when necessary. His believers in separate countries or regions think that they believe in separate thunder gods, but in fact, they all believe in Blind Io. Thundering is Blind Io's monopoly. Lightning is still a general commodity, a right of all gods.

In appearance, Blind Io is a muscular old man with slightly long gray hair, a piece of cloth tied around the place on his face where eyes would be found on a normal face. He has many eyes floating all over the place, watching the world for him. According to [[Quoth|a talking raven]], ravens had once been sacred birds of Blind Io, spying on the world and carrying messages for him, etc., but there had been an incident inevitable after the compulsive eye-pecking of the raven kind, and the ravens were no longer sacred birds.

Io is the owner of the great goat [[Almeg]], and is known to have had two children with the Goddess, later downgraded to a Virtue, [[Bissonomy]].

The current High Priest of Blind Io is [[Hughnon Ridcully]], also informal leader of the priesthood in [[Ankh-Morpork]].

==Annotation==

The [[Roundworld]] god given a Discworld gloss here is of course [[wikipedia:Odin|Odin/Wotan/Wodin/Wayland]] (depending on which bit of Northern Europe you are from). The undisputed leader of the Nordic pantheon sacrificed the sight of one eye in return for wisdom and understanding of all things after spending nine days crucified on the world-tree Yggdrasil. He has the services of two ravens (Hugin and Mumin - Thought and Memory) who are his agents in the world of Men, proving Quoth right. However, Blind Io is yet to gain the services of the squirrel Ratatosk, who scampers up and down the trunk of the World-Tree gathering information for Odin from all three Worlds... and the thunder-god attributes really belong to [[wikipedia:Thor|Thor]].

Oh, and in Viking mythology there´s a god called `Blind Hod`, who, like Io, suffers from a trickster god giving him mistletoe.

The idea of the all-seeing is from [[wikipedia:Argus|Argus]], who was a giant with a hundred eyes in Greek mythology. In the Greek pantheon he was the nephew of the nymph, wait for it: '''Io'''. TP really is rather clever, you know...

Added to all that, [[wikipedia:Io_%28Dungeons_%26_Dragons%29|Io]] is also the chief deity worshipped by dragons in the [[Dungeons and Dragons]] roleplaying game.

In Italian the word "Io" means "Me". If it's true that Io came from another dimension then "me" may ''possibly'' refer to the Author himself, as it can be truly said that he - if anyone - knows what's going on atop the Disc at any one time. Most observers don't have any truck with this theory, but that doesn't stop it from having just a little weight...

In ritual magick (note the "k") on Roundworld, as practiced by the Golden Dawn, Aleistar Crowley;s O.T.O. and others, ''IO'' is an invocation of the Godhead, usually in the form of a repeated chant such as ''IO. IO, IAO'' (Crowley's idea of the ''pentad'': a rhythmic scheme of two and then three syllables. Pronounced EE-OH, EE-OH, EE-YAY-OH, but recite the mantra with caution...)

[[Category:Discworld characters|Io, Blind]]
[[Category:Supernatural entities|Io, Blind]]
[[de:Blinder Io]]